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neil-hargreaves
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Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
The Last Jedi tramples all over Star Wars and offers nothing to moviegoers
I'm genuinely so angry, frustrated, furious, disappointed, upset, confused and gutted.
What the heck just happened to Star Wars?
Today I went to see The Last Jedi not just once but twice. Both in Imax 3D and I went in having not seen any spoilers and avoided any reviews and trailers in order to keep my experience fresh and innocent.
The opening thirty minutes is the most tedious opening to a Star Wars film since the days of the prequels, with absolutely no emotional attachment to the overlong action on screen. Bad start to a very bad movie.
As the film goes on it becomes apparent that the script is not going to be good. Some of the dialogue is the worst in Star Wars history, and there are moments when characters are talking to each other that make you want to throw the person next to you at the screen.
Characters are stuffed into this episode like there's some kind of mad emergency to feature as many as possible for merchandising reasons.
The comedy made me angry too with a couple of lines and a cheeky wink at C3PO making me wince and worry for the future of Star Wars.
Luke Skywalker's character has basically been totally disrespected and ruined in this film too. There's no way he would do what he does and feel how he feels in this film, but the director of this movie has no worries about this or any other part of the Star Wars universe he tramples all over.
There are pointless relationships (Fin in particular gets involved in an unnecessary romance that leaves the viewers cold)
There is one shot where Luke delivers the line about things not turning out the way you think it will that is so badly out of focussed it makes your head hurt.
The musical score is as slow as this overlong movie too adding nothing of value.
I just don't know what else to say other than this is a total absolute mess of a movie that tramples all over Star Wars, makes it worse, disrespects the characters, and offers the worst dialogue not just in Star Wars history but quite possibly the worst script and dialogues of all movies in 2017.
What happens to Leah will have you wanting our money back (if you don't walk out at this point).
It's that bad.
It's so shockingly bad.
The sequence with Leah in space will get you so angry your skin starts to boil.
And even worse the acting is bad. Daisy Ridley delivers some of the dialogue as though she's appearing in The Room with Tommy Wiseau, and Domhall Gleeson giving the worst Star Wars performance since Jar Jar Binks was strutting his stuff.
Imagine Transformers meets Pacific Rim with the acting of The Room and the storyline to beat all mad storylines and you'll have an idea of the vacuous tepid dull overlong tedious steaming pile of odorous cinema you'll see in a long long time.
I went straight back in to watch it again to make sure it wasn't just me missing the whole point of this film. It wasn't. It really is that bad.
Avoid like the plague or go in with the lowest possible expectations
The Mountain Between Us (2017)
Unbearable unconvincing and indefensible
When I left the cinema after enduring this film my thoughts immediately turned to IMDb and what kind of response it would have had on this site.
I imagined that (like myself) there would be floods of complaints about the wooden acting, the ease at which the main characters just sauntered through their 'ordeal' as though they were just nipping to the shops for a pint and a dozen eggs, and thought that it would be universally hated.
I read one review today that said this was the worst movie they'd seen in the last thirty years.
Well I sat through Dads Army, I just about managed to stay awake during the Absolutely Fabulous movie but even those two flops were more convincing than this film.
What is supposed to be a high drama survival movie is a bland, dull, uninspiring walk through the snow for an hour and half. Even the moments of peril are dealt with in as short a time as possible with no fear or risk involved whatsoever.
The romance is unconvincing to me. Before anything happened between our two lead characters I was thinking to myself that these guys clearly didn't like each other at all during the filming of this movie. There was little to no chemistry, the acting was woeful (from two of movies finest actors supposedly) and it all just seemed tired and as if nobody on the set wanted to be there.
The story's climax isn't a climax at all. It's just a sudden give-up on what had come before.
I have to agree with the chap who said they'd not seen worse in a long long time. This was most definitely the weakest of all the movies I've seen in years. My advice to anyone considering it is as always go and make your own mind up. But don't say I didn't warn you.
Night at the Museum (2006)
Magical family film chock full of famous faces
I had the pleasure of some pre-release tickets and took the whole family along to see this movie with no idea of what to expect.
The movie started and got into the storyline of a divorced dad (played by Ben Stiller) who wants his son to be proud of him and his work but has been through a string of jobs without any success. His lad thinks he's wasting his life and begs him to just settle down and get a job.
So he goes and gets a job as night watchman at the museum of natural history and this is when we meet Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney and a token black dude.
He takes the job only to find that the whole museum comes to life at night !! This is when the fun really starts and there's famous faces all over the place, including a great performance from Steve Coogan, Robin Williams, Ricky Gervais and loads more playing such characters as Teddy Roosevelt, Attila The Hun etc It's a film that makes you laugh out loud in the cinema if you're a kid and I have to admit I did the same a few times.
The film goes on for about an hour and three quarters but is jam packed of fun and special effects It's a magical family film - so if you got kids go and see it definitely
War of the Worlds (2005)
What the heck was THAT about ?!?
I went to see this movie with my wife in a fantastic cinema and was looking forward to seeing it.
The trailers had looked exciting and the main part of the movie didn't disappoint with some excellent special effects and some thumping sound effects too.
The main characters were OK - the little girl was excellent.
The aliens first arrival was as expected really gripping and I couldn't' wait to see what would happen next.
But you just have to ask what the HECK was that bit about where the boy comes back from the dead at the end ? Ruined the whole entire movie It was a sad ending to a decent movie.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)
More courtroom drama than chilling horror
I went to the midnight showing of this movie at my local cinema hoping that the film lived up to some of the hype I'd read over the past few weeks.
The trailer looked promising enough and as I settled into my seat I fully expected a roller-coaster ride of exorcismic fun.
Unfortunately the couple of parts that made you jump had already been in the trailers and the remaining content of the movie settled around the courtroom where argument was put forward but in no real detail.
The actual exorcism was not scary really and again merely highlighted a good opportunity missed.
I don't know if any of it was accurate to the real story - I've read up but can't decide whether this movie tried to stick to the facts and lost the impact or whether this movie went for Hollywood excitement and failed.
And the bits about the female lawyer getting scared at 3am was just silly.
I'm glad I saw it - but wouldn't watch it again.
Overall - my score - 6 out of 10