nogodnomasters Reviews

Lection (2019)

Bread Bread Bread

[1/10 · 9 July 2020]

Something happened. We don't know what happened because no one talks much, but they learn to speak. They have bread, but no one bakes bread, nor are there wheat fields. They cook over an open fire of sticks. It seems the only buildings that survived are trailers. People sit around, grunt, and hand out bread (spelled bred.) Then there is an "election" which like gorilla society the alpha male defends his position through combat. There is a scene near the end when they discuss using words for elections. This would be the wonderful amazing theme of the film, a critique of modern society that I failed to grasp. A better criticism of elections is "Irresistible." I managed to stay awake during that film, unlike this snooze fest.

Kamera wo tomeruna! (2017)

Look scared.

[5/10 · 9 July 2020]

While making a zombie film, zombies attack. Not going to spoil the film, but let's say it lets us know that in any reality TV show there is also a director, sound man, and a cameraman standing right there.

It was a mildly fun film. Most likely lost a little in the translation.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

The High Note (2020)

I'm a producer

[5/10 · 8 July 2020]

Maggie (Dakota Johnson) works as a personal assistant to iconic singer Grace Davis (Tracee Ellis Ross). She wants to produce and has a different idea where Grace should take her career than everyone else. Meanwhile, she was met another singer (Kelvin Harrison jr.) who allows her to produce his records. Conflicts occur.

This was a decent feel good story about a cut throat industry.

Guide 1 F-word. No sex or nudity.

Vuelven (2017)

We are Warriors

[6/10 · 8 July 2020]

A class in Mexico is asked to compose a fairy tale using classical fairy tales elements. The class gets suspended because of gang violence. The focus is on Estella, a student who has 3 wishes, which we discover works like a Monkey's Paw. With her mother missing, Estella teams up with a gang of street orphans who are wanted by a gang for stealing their phone and gun. Things turn violent and deadly. The film also has slight supernatural element to it.

Dubbed in English. The film is engaging as you wonder how Estella uses her wishes to get out of her situation.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

The Personal History of David Copperfield (2019)

Rags to Riches to Rags ro Riches

[10/10 · 8 July 2020]

Dev Patel stars in the ultimate riches to rags to riches to rags to riches tale with any singing and dancing. The tale is slightly altered and made multiracial. The heaviness of the Dickens' critique of society gives way to a lighter story as the characters jump off the page and come to life with wonderful performances.

Arkansas (2020)

The night the drove old Dixie down

[9/10 · 8 July 2020]

The film runs with two plots that have already come together. We are first introduced to Kyle (Liam Hemsworth) and Swin Horn (Clark Duke writer/director). They work running wholesale drugs out of a park ran by Bright (John Malkovich). They all work for Frog (Vince Vaughn) whose rise in the drug business is the second plot line.

The plot is not spectacular. It is your basic drug crime without there ever being any cops. What makes the film such a joy to watch are the characters. Overall the film reveals a Tarantino influence. Good Job Mr. Duke.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

Top Gunner (2020)

Outside the box

[2/10 · 7 July 2020]

I am not sure why Asylum is making mock busters on decades old film. But they are. Recruits at an training base in California must fly and defend the world against the Russia who have a biological agent. Eric Roberts gives a horribly written monologue at the beginning and end of film. How many swagger scenes can one film have?

No sex or nudity. I didn't catch any swearing, but watched most of the film in fast forward.

Die Wolf-Gäng (2020)

You owe taxes

[5/10 · 6 July 2020]

This is Germany's answer to the Harry Potter series, except it is for a younger audience. Vlad, a vampire, goes to magic school for the first time. He makes a red headed werewolf not named Ron and an elf, not named Hermione. They are misfits. Vlad throws up at the sight of blood, Wolfie is allergic to fur, and our elf who flies is afraid of heights. They must battle he Lucifer, who we know can only be Mayor Louis Ziffer. They was so much plagiarism, it was hard to notice the horrible dubbing.

I am sure the younger kids will like it.

Driven (I) (2019)

We need a hero

[7/10 · 6 July 2020]

Emerson Graham (Casey Dillard ) drives a Ferry (Uber/Lyft). She picks up a fare, Roger (Richard Speight Jr. )who wants to drive to different houses and visit people. We see through the window of the first stop that there was an altercation, however PLOT SPOILER he is not a serial killer, but hunting interdimensional beings who he calls "demons" for lack of a better word. Emerson is dragged into the hunt.

This is a low budget film which consists of 2 people in a car driving and talking. You would think it would be boring like Ryan Reynolds being buried alive, but the flawed personalities made things interesting. I was filmed in Tupelo, Ms\Mississippi, which was not mentioned.

No sex or nudity. No swearing that I recall.

The Wheel (2019)

Nano like its twenty ninety-nine

[4/10 · 5 July 2020]

Matthew Allen Mills is a cripple and a prisoner with a select DNA make-up. He agrees to have nanoparticles injected in him for an experiment in hopes of walking again. Of course, the scientists want to see how good they are doing by attacking Mills and breaking various parts of his body. Mills is not fond of the aspect of the experiment and reacts.

With the snowy aspect on the cover, I expected something Laurence Fishburne (The Colony) to show up. The film takes place almost entirely in one building on two sets. Characters were not well developed.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

Irresistible (2020)

Nothing like a good Danish

[9/10 · 5 July 2020]

In the aftermath of the 2016 election, Democrats scramble to regain the Heartland with a local mayor election in Deerlaken, Wisconsin. Both parties pour money into this small campaign.

If you liked the Jon Stewart of 2-12-2015 who blew up CNN"s Crossfire and got Tucker Carlson canned (he has stopped wearing bow ties to this day) You will love this film. Stewart criticism of the nation's polarization, blaming the media, blaming the whole political system comes to the screen. In the first 12 minutes, he lets you know what is right and what is wrong with the Democratic party. Loved the ending.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

aTypical Wednesday (2020)

Relationships should not be work

[6/10 · 5 July 2020]

The film starts out introducing Gabe (J. Lee ) who has a relationship issue. He owns a Bootcamp gym and talks to a shrink about him taking a break from the relationship.

We are then introduced to Alec (Cooper J. Friedman) a bullied nine-year-old who lives with modern parents who are very orderly. The good comedy starts when their lives come together.

The film had its moments. I wasn't buying into any of the characters. Gabe was his own worst enemy and I didn't empathize with him. The movie had some good moments, but didn't maintain them.

Guide: F-word. Implied sex. No nudity.

The Marshes (2018)

Did you hear the whistling?

[4/10 · 5 July 2020]

Two Aquatic ecosystem biologists and their intern travel to a remote marsh to collect samples in Australia. Will (Sam Delich ) the intern tells a story about the area with the ghost of a murdered Swagman in swamps who whistles but not as good as Val Kilmer (The Traveler). They meet some illegal hunter sand later the Swagman.

The could have done something with the soundtrack to have made the film intense. They had all the parts of the hillbilly ghost slasher except that.

Guide: F-word. Sex. brief male nudity.

Shirley (2020)

I'm not going back to that life

[6/10 · 4 July 2020]

The film is inspired by the life of Shirley Jackson (Elisabeth Moss) who wrote horror stories. Her husband Hyman (Michael Stuhlbarg) teaches at the university and has numerous affairs. Hyman hires Fred (Logan Lerman) to help him. He comes along with Rose, his pregnant wife (Odessa Young). The relationship are not normal even for abnormal relationships. At times I felt I was watching a scene out of Virginia Woolfe. Shirley starts to write again and Rose helps her. She uses the disappearance of a local college girl as her subject.

I felt there were missing scenes and deleted dialogue, i.e. something I missed. I wish I had read the Wiki-biography before I watched the film.

Guide: F-word, sex, nudity (Odessa Young)

Wasp Network (2019)

I miss my Jeep Cherokee

[7/10 · 4 July 2020]

The film is based on a true story centering around Rene Gonzalez (Edgar Ramírez ) an American born Cuban refugee living in Miami. During the 1990s Cuban-Americans were attacking Cuban industries and ran drugs to finance their operation. Castro sent "spies" to Miami to infiltrate these groups and report back as to their operations.

I recall the planes being shot down, now I know the story behind it. The family interactions were interesting. Worth a Netflix moment.

Guide: F-word, sex, nudity (Ana de Armas )

Repo Men (2010)

Edge of the Future

[7/10 · 3 July 2020]

Remy (Jude Law) works for "The Union" repossessing organs with 90 day late payment with the standard APR of 19.8%. Once he gets an artificial heart and defaults, his life changes.

Not bad for a film based upon a skit from "Monty Python's Meaning of Life." Forest Whitaker doesn't play the sensitive guy. Decent sci-fi.

Guide; F-word. Brief sex. Brief nudity?

The Quarry (2020)

Jesus made things too easy

[4/10 · 3 July 2020]

A drifter (Shea Whigham) kills David Martin (Bruno Bichir ) an annoying alcoholic preacher on his way to a new job in a small southwest Texas town where Michael Shannon is the sheriff, blame the Hispanics first. He takes on the role of a preacher while Shannon hunts down 2 kids who deal pot. When the body is uncovered, the Mexicans are to blame.

I liked the character of the drifter who was not all bad or all good, but a combination like a real person. The movie dragged in too many scenes with conversation moving slow. Watchable.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

Devil's Night: Dawn of the Nain Rouge (2020)

Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.

[4/10 · 3 July 2020]

The picture takes place in Lake Orion a suburb of Detroit. The focus is on Police Officer Billy Jean (Jesi Jensen) who fought in a war and has unrelated flashbacks. Many of the town's criminal types are being horrifically murdered. The killer is described as a red devil with a tail.

The back story to the red devil was not convincing. The plot dragged along with meaningless flashbacks that didn't mesh well with the current situation. The murder scenes were awkward shot at bad angles.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity. Jesi Jensen takes a shower with her clothes on.

The Wrong Missy (2020)

The Right Stuff

[6/10 · 2 July 2020]

Tim (David Spade) meets Missy (Lauren Lapkus ) on a blind date and runs away. Later he meets another Missy (Molly Sims ) who has identical interests as himself. On a corporate retreat which involves a possible promotion, he invites Missy along but doesn't find out it is the wrong one until they board the plane. Imagine if people talked on the phone instead of text. Things go horrible as expected followed by things going great. Typically cliche script.

Not exactly a chick flick, but it had all the parts. Funny at times. Adam Sandler wasn't in it so that is a plus.

Guide" F-word. Sex. No nudity.

Looks That Kill (2020)

Burn victim had sex with a serial killer

[4/10 · 1 July 2020]

Max keeps his face in bandages because he has looks that literally kills people because this makes far more sense than having your face surgically altered. He meets a girl who also had issues.

This is another messed up indie plot someone came up at 3 AM and wrote down before they went back to sleep. While the film had its moments, it is clever for a 14-year-old. This appears to be the target audience.

Guide: No F-words, sex, or nudity.

Warpath (2020)

I am looking for my husband

[2/10 · 1 July 2020]

Alice (Sasha Higgins) decides to go to Colorado to locate her loser husband looking for gold. She is assisted by bounty hunter Cole (Thom Mathews) to traverse dangerous Indian territory.

The plot and dialogue were downright bad. It made it tough for anyone who might have had any acting ability. Not the worst western I have seen, but it comes close. Sasha as a blonde reminded me of Susan Oliver. The film takes place in 1878, decades before "Frankie and Johnny" was composed.

Guide: F-word. Implied sex. Butt nudity (Sasha Higgins)

I Am Vengeance: Retaliation (2020)

A team can be a liability

[3/10 · 30 June 2020]

John Gold (Stu Bennett) good guy must bring in Sean Teague (Vinnie Jones) bad guy. John and team go after Vinnie and team. Dun fight. Fist fight. Gun fight. First fight. Car wreak. Gun fight fight. Fist fight. Knife fight. Explosion. etc. etc. They needed to develop the story line better. Maybe a mole in the group. The fight choreographer must have been the script writer.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

House of Many Sorrows (2020)

33 miles ahead

[4/10 · 30 June 2020]

Arthur (John Garofalo II ) is a mentally unstable slasher who has taken over his dying mother's Bed and Breakfast. People come to the door and die. Nothing new here.

The film had horrible acting and dialogue and I don't know how much was by design. The newscaster Maximillion Smith (Kim Sønderholm) was the worst I have ever seen. There were many scenes so bad, I had to laugh. I see a colorful sign "33 miles to Muriel's Bed and Breakfast" and I couldn't help think about all the signs that littered I-95 for 'South of the Border." There were numerous scenes of old horror films as filler. The writing had potential as a cult film but lacked polish and direction. I would think the average viewer won't make it through the feature.

Guide; F-word. No sex. Nudity (porn star Ginger Lynn, Samantha Brownlee)

The Last Beyond (2019)

That's soda pop!

[3/10 · 30 June 2020]

Stratton Insley (Chris Snyder) loses the family farm upon the death of his father in Montana 1933. On the road, he meets a Native America (Noah Watts) in jail and they decide to go up to the mountains and make moonshine as some strange connection to the American Dream, founding fathers, a tribute to farmers, and all the Al Capones out there. He then meets a girl and a sheriff who doesn't like moonshiners.

This was a very boring two hours with a messages that wasn't well presented. Insley was a loser hothead. Who cared?

Guide: No swearing. Sex and nudity (Jolene Andersen)

Mope (2019)

You could call yourself Blackie Chan

[6/10 · 30 June 2020]

The film is based on a true story. It is a behind the scenes look at the adult film industry. Steve Driver (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett ) and Tom Dong (Kelly Sry) are mopes, willing to do anything to be in the industry. Steve is a loose cannon and simply can't act. Tome has some IT skills which his boss finds helpful. The film is shot with actual adult industry stars. I sis not know the story so the ending rook me by surprise.

Plenty of sex and nudity.