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Lee Evans: Wired and Wonderful - Live at Wembley (2002)
Full of energy and silly jokes.
Still one of the funniest live shows I've ever seen, Evans has so much energy and relatability that makes me pay attention, with his expressions, over-the-top body language and delivery.
I remember a family member getting the VHS copy in Christmas 2002, they and the others sat watching it and there was a moment where they had to stop watching because they were laughing so much.
Lee has this ability to stay interesting over two hours is a real talent and like with the previous shows, I felt saddened when it was over, I never wanted it to end.
What more can I say to fit this review? It's funny. There.
Scorn (2022)
All ugliness, little depth.
Let's get this established first, the visuals are deliberately hideous. The bio-mechanical design is fantastic, the world is desolate and long dead, the few living entities are misshapen, the game succeeds in making a such an ornate, non-human place look like a graveyard and the sound design is equally unearthly
However, while these positives make the game stand out, they're also the only things carrying the game. Gameplay is drab, there's combat which is clunky and feels unrefined, like it should've been the main focus or pulled completely.
There's no context for what's happening, no dialogue or such, one should draw their own conclusions.
I've very little to say, it's visually catching but that's virtually all it has going.
Spyro Reignited Trilogy (2018)
Reignited Happiness.
Nearly any comment regarding the Spyro games is guaranteed to include the words "My childhood."
A timeless classic, a hat-trick from the PlayStation 1, now rebuilt from scratch two decades later. All the old characters are here, all the platinum-standard themes, all the gorgeous scenery, a reminder of why the originals were a holy trinity among platformers.
There have been some changes, some better, some worse, but it never hampered my experience, I guess the old games are just so close to me that I could look past them, a few blemishes on a polished glass can be abided.
If this trilogy gets a worthy sequel to override the tragic slip-up that was Enter the Dragonfly, then this series has earned it, as have us fans.
Fainaru fantajî X-2 (2003)
Had big shoes to fill.
It has to be said even by fans of the game, it doesn't hold up to its predecessor and some would say it doesn't have to.
While the previous instalment was an emotional and reflective journey, this sequel/spin off takes a more upbeat direction, albeit with new problems.
The gameplay sees a return of the Active Time Battle system of older games rather than the turn-based of X, which I preferred. The minigames are a bit duff, Blitzball is even less manageable than it was last time for one. Many assets are reused, there are drab interior environments and the soundtrack is repetitive and full of short loops.
In spite of this, I don't despise it. But rather it had the unobtainable task of filling large shoes, if the minigames were better and the combat was turn-based, maybe people would be nicer to it.
The two returning leads also, the development they underwent in the previous story has been overruled in favour of turning them into faux-action girls and all the newcomers, whom were never so much as alluded to last time, have become crucial.
X was deep and X-2 is, well, shallow. If X was a Minnesota lake, X-2 is a backyard swimming pool at most. It does have the decency to introduce new, plausible plot points, that a world without Sin would still be imperfect. And providing an unlockable happy ending and sense of closure for Yuna makes it seem worth it.
Not for everyone, but nothing ever is.
Bear with Me: Episode One (2016)
Quaintest of indie darlings.
I happened to browsing sales only this October 2020 and I spotted the entire Bear with Me bundle, including the Lost Robots expansion. What a bargain. An adorable design, interesting characters and the whole series doesn't outlive its welcome. That being said the voice acting could be better.
I said the games are brief, which I feel is a weakness, each installment is short and I was left wanting more, but ultimately, no regrets here.
Army of Two (2008)
Classic tag-team shooter that deserved more potential.
There's something cathartic about causing chaos in a virtual world, Army of Two provides that very feeling with action-movie style bravado. Big shootouts, plenty of villains to cut down, adding more parts to firearms to turn them into over-designed superweapons, made from gold no less!
But, as with most things, there have been trims. Case in point, the story makes numerous jumps forward through time. The first level takes place in 1993, the second, 2001. After the first level there's a montage of the following years told in brief of the protagonists exploits. Why couldn't there be a level for every year from '93 to the end in 2009?
Army of Two should have had more to it, and I was left wanting more.
Call of Cthulhu: The Official Video Game (2018)
An enjoyably flawed medium.
It's clear this game is made for a specific audience, cosmic horror fans, mystery fans and somewhere in between. There's a deal of investigation work done in the game, finding clues and drawing conclusions, but that's a small portion of the experience. There's interacting with character through dialogue trees and solving rudimentary puzzles.
The atmosphere is fitting, the island of Darkwater is particularly creepy, the first third of the game is paced well. But the story does drop by the second act onward, the third act may well look like the writers gave up.
In spite of that, there is enjoyment to be had in the early parts of the game, the aforementioned atmosphere is unsettling, the ambient sounds add to tension.
Not for everyone, but with an open mind one could get their money's worth.
Excalibur 2555 AD (1997)
Everything has its fans.
It's easy to see what people dislike about the game. The limited character models, the bizarre environments, the rigid combat, the peculiar voice-acting and more. The game is old, niche and unremarkable.
And yet, I like it. In fact, those flaws make it all the more endearing. Being only a youth when this game came out I was hooked somehow, the dark, claustrophobic environments create a noticeable atmosphere, the music is eerie, when I first solved the puzzles I felt like a genius.
A game that has aged poorly can still evoke the highest nostalgia, and for that, it will mean something to me forever.
Fainaru fantajî X (2001)
*Almost* perfect.
From playing on a PlayStation 2 to the time I get to buy the Xbox One version, Final Fantasy X will be one of the most cherished games of my experiences.
Firstly, this isn't a game to me, it's an adventure. I was attached to the characters at all times, I felt like I was there on their journey, these people make for great company, even if some can be boisterous.
The music, oh Lord, the music. As soon as the game boots up one is treated to a heart warming piano piece, and the quality is constant all game long, heroic anthems for exciting pieces, somber tunes for emotional scenes, dramatic sounds for tense moments, the music is lovable.
The combat is turn-based, characters and enemies take turns during battles and I likes this battle system, being able to decide one's target and attack, it feels fair.
I say the game is almost perfect, for it is not without it's faults. There's a Blitzball minigame, a cross between association football and water polo, it could be a lot better, not being able to control individual players feels wrong and makes the sport a little unfair.
Some scenes are cringeworthy, this was before the emo subculture was prominent in media, the occasional angst puts me off the characters, which is a shame, considering I've said that I adored the characters.
What else? The visuals, the location is a continent known as Spira, the south is sunny islands, the north is snowy mountains, even the bad weather regions look gorgeous for the time. Dependent on the situation, character models shift between their handsome high-resolution models and their low-resolution versions.
Overall, a fantastic game. I'm so happy to have played it.
Outlast (2013)
Left me shaken.
Outlast is a game that opens with a warning of horrifying content, it lives up to such expectations. Scenes of gore, torture, nudity and madness await those who wish to be horrified.
The story concerns a freelance journalist, Miles Upshur investigating an anonymous tip from an employee at Mount Massive Asylum in Leapville, Colorado. As with most horror stories he is foolish enough to go alone without weapons or forward planning, he is soon thrust into an experience of the worst of the human mind, fleeing from deformed patients.
It's been a while since a game has made me feel genuine terror, I've played it a number of times now and there are key moments that still leave my heart thumping, this was particularly true during my run of the insane difficulty.
Bottom 2001: An Arse Oddity (2001)
Still funny, even at a weaker "violtage."
The fourth live show of Bottom hits all the marks of the previous endeavors, from the rude humor to on stage bloopers, prop malfunctions, strong language and the few times when the leads follow the script.
Richard and Eddie are still on a desert island, whether it's the same from Hooligan's Island is unknown, but this series is renowned for many things, continuity is not one of them.
The second act I feel was weaker, even with particularly funny blunders. (Vecks in Practice, anyone?) It is a little diluted in comparison with the older live shows but is not without its highlights.
Condemned 2: Bloodshot (2008)
Of wavering quality.
I loved the previous Condemned and I anticipated the sequel. First off, the pros, the combat is brutal, the sequel includes barehanded combat, which makes fights even better, being able to throw weapons is a considerable advantage in a slugfest.
Then there's the detection minigame, analyzing a crime scene takes the form of questionnaires, to make the player think about the scene with a few red herrings thrown in, admittedly, it's fun on the first playthrough, but on subsequent runs the player will know the answers.
The environments, still as murky, oppressive and deserted as the last time, with a couple of head screw sections.
Now the cons. The game begins promisingly, but it slopes down near the end. The combat turns to gunplay, the story gets more action heavy in later chapters and becomes part superhero story. And worst of all, a cliffhanger ending that has remained unresolved.
The game reaches a point where it's glowing and fizzles out by its last act. It's still a joy in the places where it counts, but for me the biggest flaw is the sequel hook that has been left untouched all these years.
Pandemonium! (1996)
Like acid for my five year-old self.
A forgotten platforming gem from the PlayStation's momentum building years, a 2.5 dimensional side-scrolling adventure set against a fantasy setting. I'll say this from the start, the game is beautiful, vibrant colours for the time that fit each level. And if there's anything that I'll hold dear from this game for all time, it's the music, it is brilliant, the more, let's say "trippy" themes still sound like the stuff of dreams.
As for the gameplay, well, it's a platformer, jump onto or over enemies and hazards, there are two characters, Fergus, a jester, and Nikki, an acrobat. The former has a cartwheel attack, the latter has a double jump.
1996 was a great year for gaming, seeing the start of many franchises, all classics for good reason, but whenever anyone mentions games of that year, Pandemonium! is first to my mind. Enjoyable as a moppet, enjoyable as an adult.
Condemned: Criminal Origins (2005)
Suspenseful from the beginning.
I received an Xbox 360 on Christmas 2008 and Condemned: Criminal Origins was the first game I played for it. It had me from the get go, and I still play it from time to time. The combat is visceral and full of impact, a successful block leaves enemies open to attack, while at the same time not allowing the player to become complacent and swing wildly and make every fight a joke.
But what really appeals to me is the environments, every location is decrepit and ruined, it gives the city a wide, deserted feel, murky lighting and crumbling structure are plentiful, good places to hide or be killed.
On the other hand, the final level is a bit foolish, yet the ending is always the hardest part of a story. And the voice acting could be better.
Overall, it's a cult classic for good reason and a worthy addition to the horror game library.
Saints Row IV (2013)
Can it get any loopier?
Saints Row is a series I adore and they seemed to get better with every installment. The fourth game is the peak in wacky and enjoyable.
The addition of superpowers is just silly, in a good way, and every completed quest feels worthwhile. The only catch is the superpowers makes the game a little too easy at times, obliterating any opposition once everything is attained.
The story is equally fruit loop, taking pot shots at famous media of past and present. A blast from start to finish.
Wolfenstein: The Old Blood (2015)
Feels more like the old-school series.
The Old Blood is the prequel to the The New Order and follows American soldier William J. Blazkowicz on a mission to find a secret folder containing the location of a secret compound, featured in The New Order prologue.
I enjoy this one over The New Order, but very marginally. It feels like it harks back to the supernatural themes of older games, and being set in wartime it's like the Allies still had chance, with all the Nazis William kills, it's a wonder he couldn't win the war by himself.
Bottom: Burglary (1992)
Sleep reviewing.
More ineptitude from the two most-loved pariahs (now, that's an oxymoron).
Eddie has come home late and drunk, having been sent to collect two fish suppers but instead went to the pub, and then the chemists and got very inebriated. After putting Eddie to bed Richie retires to his room for "private time". A disturbance from the living room attracts the boys attention.
A bungled attempt to escape leads to the burglar being subdued, the boys fail to be intimidating and call the police, but then find the burglar's loot and try to flee with it. However the burglar's presence may hamper that plan, Eddie suggests murdering the burglar with poisoned tea, again that goes wrong.
The police arrive and the boys hide the burglar until the police leave, Eddie has hidden the burglar by taping him to the ceiling, while plotting how to bring him down, an accomplice of the burglar had been hiding out of sight on the windowsill, he sneaks in, concusses the boys and rescues his companion.
The boys waken at dawn to find the flat cleared out and they have been tied to chairs with mousetraps at their genitals and a note taped to Eddie's knee reading: "Sue Carpenter." They get erections and traps snap shut on them.
It's hilarious how Richie and Eddie attempt to act tough and fail badly, along with some really bad lying to the police. Example:
P.C.V. Jones: "You realize this paper's upside down, sir?"
Eddie: "So are my eyes."
A Grand Day Out (1989)
Twenty minutes well spent.
It's quite a feat how so much is told in a quarter of an hour. A Grand Day Out is thirty years old now and hasn't lost its charm nor its entertainment value, a British icon that can be seen by anyone.
Bottom: Culture (1992)
Second favorite episode.
Opinions toward bottle episodes are mixed, yet this is one of my favorite of that variety. The attempts the characters make to pass the time are creative and the story concludes with a characteristic scuffle over trivial matters that is on par with the character's nature.
Bottom: Carnival (1995)
A triumphant closure. (To the T.V. series at least.)
The third season is my favorite of show's run and Carnival gives an eye-catching farewell, however I believe that being shot couldn't be the end of these lovable morons, if all the physical damage and falling from a great height can't stop them, what can?
It's unfortunate that a fourth season was never made, I wished it was written and at the least published to the net, just to continue the madcap adventures of two of England's least popular and funniest nobodies.
Red Dwarf (1988)
Deserving of its legacy.
A show that holds near and dear to me, shirking typical sitcom settings and instead opts for a extragalatic adventure across space, and "adventure" is the correct word because virtually every episode is one. An adventure into the unknown.
The characters make engaging banter across an extraterrestrial road trip, encountering alien life, alternate dimensions and other oddities.
Bottom (1991)
What more need be said?
This slapstick still brings joy to me from too young to be viewing to adulthood, and as inaccurate as this sounds, I don't believe it's aged at all.
Minimalist concept, satisfying slapstick and funny toilet humor make for one of the best comedies ever made.