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The Pinkertons (2014)
Rather variable
This series presents a somewhat variable calibre of plot, screenplay, direction and production. Some episodes are well-written, well, directed and well, produced and are worthy of the appellation 'family entertainment'. Others are little better than Saturday Matinee stuff for pre-adolescent kids with a short attention span.
Acting is also variable, but that is mostly due to poor direction and not-very-good editing of the storyline which can chop or jump illogically.
There are parts that are good, and parts that are cringeworthy bad. What this does is sap the viewers' interest and want to skip to the next episode.
Props and scenery are good, so the problem is that the series production has less finesse than it needs to make it into wider audience.
Reviews that prattle about the Pinkerton Detective Agency having a dubious reputation should maybe never watch any historical drama or docudrama for fear of it representing a non-woke world. The late 19th Century of the Pinkertons was not yet a fully civilized and well-ordered place. This series tries to portray that if the viewer can see beyond 21st Century values.
Finders Keepers (2024)
Unnecessary
The swearing is unnecessary. The minor deviations to the plot don't add anything and are unnecessary. Some of the stereotyping of characters is unnecessary. The whole plots seem unnecessary.
I watched Ep. 1 in trepidation: it didn't have the warms of The Detectorists or even the hint of magic.
Ep. 2 started to bore me and annoy me in equal measure. The characterisations seemed grotesquely hollow but also inflated - such as the brother in law farmer and the bent 'fence'. The comedic elements weren't ridiculously funny like in Mackenzie Crook's masterpieces where the double takes are sometimes cripplingly hilarious. And the plot is stodgily predictable . . or maybe it has a twist, but TBH I stopped watching it when all the obscenities started flying. I won't be reprising it, ever.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (1979)
Lacks something for a modern audience
To be really picky, I just feels that the story is missing a convincing 'big picture' focal point. While the internal machinations of a rather antiquated secret service are fascinating, the whole raison d'etre has eluded me. My concern is that it eluded the author too.
To a degree, TTSS is self-indulgent: it doesn't give any clue as to the importance or value of information that was being given to the enemy. For example, with the Enigma story, and Bletchley Park the key issue was to 'win the war' and defeat Nazism. With TTSS they key issue seems to be of how to play spymaster, but without knowing the reason why . . Is it a matter of real national importance, or just a game being played by self-obsessed wannabes? I feel that the series doesn't play against the bigger (and quite scary) drama of the Cold War: it just seems to be about the lesser drama of Oxbridge malcontents, misfits and incompetents having 'fun' for ideological reasons.
The Smiley character is quite emotionally detached - even uninterested and reticent. That doesn't signal smartness to me when we see other leading characters being portrayed as rather stupid or simply unprofessional. I can well believe that this branch of the Civil Service had its fair share of 'muppets' that reached high rank due to their public school associations, but La Carre doesn't much reveal that - at least in the miniseries.
Overall, watching this series in 2023 seemed like an academic exercise; I didn't feel engaged or entertained: I just felt that it was something I should finally 'knuckle down' and do. By the end, it just seemed rather facile.
To be fair though, a lot of the contemporary spy stuff was like that - "clever" - just a bit pretentious.
Gary Oldman did Smiley a lot better - more engaging and less 'retentive'.
SAS Rogue Heroes (2022)
Anachronistic music and other banalities
I am so disappointed that this is a modern attempt a re-building a legend as a myth.
There are good parts; there are bad parts; and there are a lot of completely unnecessary parts. On balance, the good parts are almost swamped by the rest and it barely 'passed muster'. Sometimes 'good enough' isn't good enough and episode 1 was in that category.
The first episode lollops around in a way that suggests that it's the series that is the aim of the myth-building, rather than the actual story. Much like Peaky Blinders . . never let a good story get in the way of a good film (like Mrs Marples, The Larkins and other 'modern' shallow look-good garbage).
The producers and director appear to be setting out to make a great series, much like Peaky Blinders, on the back of an epic and fantastic story that deserves to be more than a documentary but shun Hollywood-style over-production and superficiality.
A step back - as also should have happened with 'Dunkirk' (another razzmatazz production) - would not have diminished the programme or its subject.
Cinematically it's good; the effects are good; the acting is good to ok; the characterisations are as good as anyone might hope for (although Stirling seems a bit dubious). So far, Paddy Mayne seems (to me) to be the most plausible characterisation.
The pace is slow and the different scenes are often unconnected. There are whiffs of 21st Century 'political correctness and 'wokism' that the producers should have stamped on . . . But the BBC adores.
I think the direction is good - like a lot of Poliakof's drivvel - but the production seems to 'misfire' and run rather roughly . . it's not sweet and powerful, just lacking fine-tuning to the story and it's real context 1941, not 2022.
The use of anachronistic music is a horrid addition. Modern music that resonates with the story would be fine . . . But the choice of heavy metal, etc, reveals a degree of laddish immaturity on the part of the producers . . "grow up!" You don't need to put your whole body-print on this epic, nor even a handprint - fingerprints would be plenty.
Overall, episode 1 was barely 'ok' . . episode 2 needs to 'shape up' otherwise a lot of people will stop watching. That will, of course, be too late since the series is 'in the can'.
Put bluntly, there are some great legends that you don't piddle on: the origins of the SAS, the Dam Busters' Raid, St Nazaire Raid, Operation Mincemeat . . . . they are not King Arthur and Robin Hood myths. Stretching and fluffing up historical truths for the sake of ones own ego as a director/producer is immature, phoney and quite unnecessary.
It could have been better - I hope it improves enough to stop me moaning about things that simply should not be.
Cunk on Earth (2022)
Could be a lot better
While there are a some positive aspects I just feel that the accumulation of negatives outweighs them.
It's not very 'clever' and it certainly isn't all that funny.
There's a sort of sourness and deliberate and contrived stupidity that makes the focus of the funny bits very unclear . . it seems as though the whole point is to 'take the mickey' at every level with a good handful of innuendo thrown in. It lacks any sophistication and is really just adolescent tripe that mocks everybody, even itself, pointlessly - apart from spending licence-payers' money.
Worse, Diane Morgan struts around a lot of the time appearing to have haemorrhoids. The confusion of the Cunk character is, however a reflection of the stupidity and lack of education of my own hairdresser who thinks that it really is a documentary!
Ultimately, I found few laughs, little wit and learned nothing. Diane Moragnis perpetually pained expression doesn't help.
Dunkirk (2017)
A bit over-ambitious
The three time-lines of this film don't work for me. I appreciate that the span of the Dunkirk evacuation has to be compressed and expanded, but the approach here seems like a workaround.
The sound track is a big distraction - too loud and largely unnecessary.
There are many technical and military aspects that are simply flawed.
On my second viewing I found these negatives to be really frustrating.
Sister Boniface Mysteries (2022)
The only good thing is. . .
I have really tried to watch a full episode but failed miserably. Instead I now just turn the sound off and watch (sideways) some of the nice 'period' scenery, etc.
The only good thing is that it employed poor and needy actors and camera operators while not bothering to employ competent script-writers.
It is truly awful candyfloss for sad spinsters and people who haven't been weened off kiddie stories. It's much like the dross of British TV of the 70s and 80s but with rather higher production values, though no better scripting. It makes All Creatures Great And Small look like an Attenborough documentary.
The 39 Steps (2008)
No resemblance to . . .. anything!
The novel, though written in a style somewhat unfamiliar to us now, should be the starting point: it does not seem to be.
Hitchcock mauled the novel quite badly, as he did many other true classics, but this drivel completely 're-imagined' The 39 Steps, changing it to the 22 Steps and worse.
There's hardly one ninth of Buchan's original plot remaining. The only things that relate to the novel (let alone Hitchcock's mangling) are some character names and the title: everything else is total fabrication, with the basic plot twisted and hammered out of all recognition.
Metaphorically, if this was a 'deconstructed apple pie' . . . Ever so popular with people who think they know better . . . It would be a piece of stale bread in a bowl of raw offal, topped with maple syrup and cream, with a dash of Drambuie and a few bits of carrot top as a salad.
Whoever wrote the screenplay should stick to kiddies Christmas Pantomimes, they are/were clearly out of their depth in this genre.
As garbage goes, this is the genuine article. Unbelievability rating 12million.
Around the World in 80 Days (2021)
Well made . . badly written . . well acted . . badly produced . . stupid ending!
This attempt at de-constructing Verne's book is, in almost equal measures, excellent and complete garbage.
It amounts to far less than the sum of its parts.
The cinematography is generally very good indeed. Editing is, however, really slow-paced. Continuity fails at times. Acting is overall very good. Story jumps are unexplained. Totally re-writing the plot is insane. Political correctness is incorporated somewhat gratuitously . . . And on it goes lolloping from good to bad all the way through.
In each episode the travelers lose their baggage and much of their clothes, only to have fresh ones for the next episode.
Sub-plots fall into the genre of "let's split up, it's more dangerous that way" and "let's forget common sense and get on with making a movie".
There is so much to like and to hate at the same time that it's easy to conclude that this 'shake-up' was intentionally intended to be a fresh genre, or that the director and producer were "punching above their weight".
It is worth watching just for the visuals, but it carries nothing substantial and memorable other than some of the performances by the cast. At the best it is "quirky" and at the worst over-produced garbage.
The ending is utterly ludicrous, illogical, irrational and seems to suggest there will be more Fogg adventures: I sincerely hope not!
Maybe we'll see Fogg follow in Palin's footsteps, giving away money and becoming more and more politically correct . . . Who cares!
If this series had delivered more of the original, better plot development and simply been 'better overall' then there might have been a case for a sequel . . but as it stands it's a beautiful flop a masquerade, shallow and lacking magic.
The Larkins (2021)
Candy floss - sickly sweet and no substance
Everything about this series is phoney. The revised script has been written by someone who appears not to care much about the original: it is superficial and re-shapes Bate's novel in a way that is false.
The most noticeable, in-your-face, aspect is the political race agenda. Every third character is non-white. This is a misrepresentation of Britain today and especially in the 1950s and 1960s. It may be an aspirational statement promoting a multi-cultural Britain, but the non-white characters are very patronisingly and superficially painted as being very Anglicised but there are also some stereotypical undercurrents that are strange and make me squirm.
There's no sensitivity. It's almost like it was produced by a committee to make money and little else.
In truth, there's little sensitivity elsewhere. It seems like a poorly conceived and very contrived production that gallops through the original work without paying much regard to it.
Some of the acting is good; some of the production is good. There's a lot of screen action but it doesn't contribute to good plot development; it just seems like a way to fill the time available between advertisement. It is very incoherent at times and the story line does often feel like it's an intrusion into the main aim of feeding sugar to the audience.
The Christmas 2021 programme was a total yawn: it was so slow that I needed to run around during adverts to prevent m'self falling into comatose heap.
The 1950s Eastman Colour is hardly bearable.
It is, arguably, worth watching for some few-and-far good bits; but is destined for the dustbin of eternity and will not be worth a second look.
Ultimately it is much less than the sum of its parts.
Leonardo (2021)
Long-winded and rushed ending
The most disappointing thing about this series is the Ghost of Poldark - it could have been so much better with an actor who was less well known. It reveals Aidan Turner as rather 'one-dimensional'.
The plot may well be 'entertaining fiction' but it is at least 3 episodes too long, and of the running story is too shallow and uninteresting to reveal much about the real - or the imagined Da Vinci.
The climax is rushed and could have been better paced.
Photography is good and - for once - the sound levels (for music) is quite tolerable.
Overall, it's a winters' evening filler; a way of escaping the moronic offerings on minor TV channels while the main channels pump out their agenda-driven garbage . . for that alone it could have got many more stars, but it didn't really deliver much of value.
Giù la testa (1971)
Epically dreadful - much too long
This is a very long movie - about 1 hour too long for the plotline.
The storyline is good in concept, but generally poor in its cinematic execution. It is set in the middle of the Mexican Revolution and contemporaneous with the Great War and the rise of Irish Republicanism. The plot is described by others.
I have several criticisms about this movie:
The flashbacks can be too drawn out, especially near the end - and some have very little context.
Many scenes are too laboriously worked and many 'acts' could be shortened - a few could be cut.
Some of the 'back story' of the Mexican Revolution is opaque and there's a preoccupation in certain 'acts' portraying the gross excesses of the Mexican Army and its hienous atrocities. These are sometime inappropriate to the plot-line and to the actual movie.
The management of the soundstage is dreadful - as in most Leone movies - with the stereo effect over-emphasised by an unnatural placement even if it does follow the camera position - it is far pleasanter to listen in mono.
Music is dreadful and often not 'in tune' with the visuals: it's not even an ironic counterpoint to the visuals. It's avant-garde to the point of being stupid at times.
Photography is generally good. Acting by Coburn and Steiger is no worse than many 1970s 'shoot-em-up' movies.
Several issues occur with 'props'. A few vehicles are evidently of WW2 vintage; Coburn's motorcycle is a thinly disguised 1960s cruiser; a WW2 German MG42 machine gun is used alongside a Vickers. All of those could have been rectified without much difficulty.
Overall, it's simply just too long and often too slow. Leone had over-refined his technique and become somewhat self-indulgent; and the film/movie would benefit significantly from a 'directors cut' but would still be quite awful.
Frankly, it's not a film I could recommend to anyone wishing to pass 3 hours of their precious time.
Educating Rita (1983)
Philistines
While the Philistines were an ancient and noble race, the term naowadays can be applied to some of the characters in this movie and to a handful of reviewers who believe it only warrants one star.
The story is indeed carefully observed, fundamentally honest and indeed 'fluffed up' for dramatic effect. That's not a bad thing; it's not a documentary any more than As You Like It was a documentary. It's drama based on real life.
Maybe it doesn't portray the 'real life' of some supercillious and slightly patronising reviewers, but it was real life for many 'working class' people I knew who took advantage of one of the best educational innovations of the 20th century and 'battled' through an Open University degree because they realised they had a better song to sing . . . And that includes me.
That does, of course, mean this film has a resonance with a lot of people, but dissoncence with others. Giving one star when compared with, say Mad Max or 80% of Hollywood's 100 years of oft self-indulgent movie-making is shallow in the extreme.
It isn't a perfect movie, but surely only a 'philistine' would say it's a one star movie.
Ice Cold in Alex (1958)
18 carat if not pure gold . . .
Years ago I hated this film for its lethargy and improbably storyline.
But, as I have read more about the North African Campaign I see far more plausibility and have 'tuned-in' to the pace of the film.
Most of the acting is very good although Mills and Quayle rarely expanded their characterisations very far.
A really nice thing is that it avoids the gratuitous romance > love > sex content that is nowadays thrown in to titillate viewers when the plot is threadbare.
Put another way - it's a film to re-visit every decade or so and remind outselves that CGI and titillation ultimately aint a substitute for a good tale well told.
The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)
A film of two halves: good then bad
This is a terribly confused film by virtue of starting out well and the slipping into slapstick which is neither funny nor really a worthwhile part of the plot. The ending is an anti-climax.
The first half of the story sets up a heist of a gold bullion shipment which is melted down and made into models of the Eiffel Tower in order to smuggle the gold out of the country - there seem no explanation why. But when it arrives in France the story becomes just slapstick and hardly any better than a St Trinnians jape.
The acting is generally good, but the star of the film is the London post-war urban scenery.
Overall a disappointing film and nowhere as entertaining as The Ladykillers.
Spooks (2002)
Adolescent nonsense dressed up as 'serious' drama
Hilarious - best comedy on repeat tv channels. It's so completely ridiculous that I laughed until I cried at the sheer imbecility of the plots.
Even when I thought it couldn't get any worse, each episode tops the previous one for imbecility.
I don't know what the writers and director are taking as their inspiration, but it must be a Class A mind altering substance..
Utterly insane plots; affected camera work; terrible continuity. It's truly jaw dropping how the director and producers manage to cram a 10 minute fantasy into soooo much screentime. It has all the plausibility of a Mr Bean story, Indiana Jones or Captain America.
It portrays the 'spooks' as a bunch of renegade amateurs whose ethics are as dubious as their abilities. Maybe, therefore, it's intended as black propaganda produced in the hope that 'foreign powers' (etc) might believe that this is really how the British Secret Service functions.
Ok, it's "entertainment" and not a documentary but it's as illogical and just as lacking in realism as any James Bond movie. Suspending any shred of disbelief is a way to 'enjoy' it, but really, there are much better things to do with waking hours.
So much of what is presented lacks credibility that I can't understand what purpose it serves, other than spend licence payers' money.
Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter are documentaries in comparison. Spooks is inexcusable drivvel.
Casablanca (1942)
Watch it - forget it . . then watch it again and don't judge it until the end
Firstly it is a plausible sort of story. Secondly, it is not a documentary or shot 'on location'.
Thirdly, there'a a lot of wry humour and a vast number of quips that are now 'memorable quotations' - observations on life from bitter-sweet to off-hand, to sublime.
Take all this in - just watch the film, don't nit-pick it, scene by scene. Savour it like an unfamiliar wine or whisky . . . straight, "no ice, no soda, just as it comes" . . . . the analysis is best saved for the last drop in the bottle - or as the final credits roll.
On your second and third viewing all of the flavour, depth, subtlety and humour will be revealed. If not, go and watch the series Mad Max docudramas . . .
Allied (2016)
Piffle, piffle, piffle
Apart from the opening acts this move is Piffle, piffle, piffle. There is no semblance of even a hint of a whiff of historical accuracy. About as convincing as Connery era James Bond movies and nowhere near as likely to keep you awake.
The idea that moral in-turpitude was a fundamental value of British Intelligence is laughable.
The Lady in the Van (2015)
Dreadful
This is supposedly based on a real occurrence. If so it speaks volumes about Bennet and his somewhat twisted view of life. In the film Maggie Smith (bloodhound eyes and nausea inducing stare) might portray a real person, but along with the improbability that such a vehicle as hers would be allowed on the roads all suggests that there's a lot of 'over-egging' of the plot.
Anyway, I just found it all quite implausible and overdone. I watched most of the film but found it tiresome in the extreme - there's a 'Groundhog Day' feeling about it . . like "will this bad dream never end?"
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)
Unlikable plot, characters, film . . .
From the grating and affected Morningside accent, through the bleary glassy-eyed looks of Maggie Smith, the contrived plot driven by an excess of hormones (on the part of the author) to the generally wooden acting . . . I hated this film when I first saw it in 1969 (but walked out half way); and when I recently watched some of it again I realised that neither the film, nor my view had changed one jot . There's a warpedness about the subject who appears to be a hypocrite and morally rather bankrupt. It might reflect something about real life, but there are better themes to celebrate on film.
The War of the Worlds (2019)
Most critics are missing the point . .
Most critics rate this production as pretty bad. They are missing the point: based on the cost involved and the obvious destruction of heritage buildings (and a heritage fictional novel) it is a total and uttter abomination, travesty and load of tripe.
Some of the acting was well up to the standards of such classics as Invasion of the Body Snatchers or Aliens Stole My Toothpaste (I made that one up) and similar junk.
There are / were a few nice locations, now mostly rubble although I do believe that no Bentleys were damaged in Gt Budworth during filming.
I'd also like to know why Ross Poldark couldn't give a hand in defeating the aliens and spending more licence-payers' money?
Poldark: Episode #5.8 (2019)
Very muddled, rushed, superficial
The crescendo of the series fizzed like a damp squib.
While there are clearly many loose ends that could be exploited in a further series, the haste with which the plotline romped along multiple paths with rather tenuous connections left me feeling underwhelmed.
We don't know if 'all ends well' because nothing really came to a conclusion.
There were 12 original Poldark novels, so maybe we are being 'set up' for yet another series of convoluted, muddled, rushed and often superficial plots that are increasingly losing their 'crispness', leaving me at least to ask "what's this all about?" The Poldark saga has turned somewhat into a soap opera. A critical re-assessment by the producers and directors is needed. At times it flips between being so 'verbose' then 'opaque' that it's difficult to grasp what's going on or why. Some sub-plots seem to be there just as teasers for a later episode or future series - arghhh!
That said, some of the characterisations (and acting) are quite good; the photography tends to be good, and there are no stupid tricks (as in Peaky Blunders). And the music doesn't completely overpower the narratives.
All in all it's pretty good, but seems to be losing its way.
Summer of Rockets (2019)
Product of an over-active imagination
Mr Poliakoff again takes us to the very edge of boredom and incredulity and prepars to tip us over. There are so many political, factual, historical, logical and other inconsistencies that Summer of Rockets looks like it will be almost as bad as Sleeping With An Enema!
In episode 2 Petruhkin is sworn to secrecy about a possible business deal with the British government. At a demonstration of his pager to senior military staff he takes his whole family with him to a military airfield . . . . D'oh!
The rest of the episode is so full of cliches that almost every twist and turn is entirely predictable.
All may become clear in a later episode, but so far - for me - it is shaping up to be another Poliakoff travesty.
Line of Duty (2012)
Fantasy garbage
Fantasy garbage - whoever writes, directs and produces this crap has little grasp of reality. The only thing that is convincing are the silences between the cliches. Much of the acting is often quite wooden, but more crucially the plots and subplots are the result of a lack of any real understanding of how law enforcement is effected, actual police procedures, etc - most is pure 'imagining'. It's as realistic as a James Bond movie.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Poor plot, lousy acting, great SFX - mostly garbage
The storyline is incoherent, jumbled, unclear, wishy-washy, meandering . . . . . . It has no tangible connection to Harry Potter and it appears to just be 'cashing-in' on HP's success.
The wooden acting by Eddie Redmayne is truly awful: he looks continually pained, and mumbles endlessly making it even more difficult to follow the story's red-herring plot. The special effects are great . . . but nowadays all special effects are, so this film is nothing special.
Complete garbage.