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10= Epic wouldn't change a thing 9= Gold, almost perfect 8= Excellent movie, loved it 7= Really good movie 6= pretty good, but could be better 5= average movie 4= below average 3= not terrible, may see again, don't really want to 2= pretty bad, struggled to or couldn’t finish 1= garbage, hated or could not watch at all
Unnecessary bad writing...
U have the budget, the cast, the crew, the MEANS to make a great movie. Then hire an ABSOLUTE not upto kinda guy to write the screenplay.
The trailer & the writing were the ONLY thing that stopped this movie being great.
Instead it was stupid with occasional moments of entertainment...
Really the only times I GENUINELY was invested was Ryan Reynolds, Helen Miren & Kevin Hart...
the people who rate it 10 or 1 are liars... it's a HARD 3.
To say Birds Of Prey is the worst movie in the DCU (slightly worse than Shazam, Green Lantern & Suicide Squad NOT as bad as Catwoman.) is not reflecting that the movie while flawed was quite entertaining at times.
But THAT being said it was clearly 3/10, & the people who rate it 10 or 1 are liars, delusional or JUST flat out haven't even seen it.
Margot Robbie as always is great, but the character, just like in Suicide Squad is BEST in moderation & AMAZING when used sparingly & occasionally.
The writing was very poor, & action inconsistent.
The swearing & graphic violence were completely unnecessary. Like 2019's Hellboy, the R rating was a HUGE MISTAKE.
The action went from Power Rangers kids afternoon TV slapstick, to broken bones really strangely. Harley has never been an R-rated character, but I guess they wanted to pull 'Logan, Deadpool' money which I kind of doubt they will with how ridiculous the SJW, Neo-Feminism & misandry was (all villains are white men, slow, mean, stupid, rapists...).
Canary, Huntress, Batgirl, Zsasz & Black Mask were unrecognizable & really weak pale versions of their interesting & exciting comic counterparts & Montoyas casting & character was a REALLY bad fit. Rosie Perez looked uncomfortable the whole movie, & her 55 year old cop character joining a team of super heroes was stupid & made no sense.
Costuming design was bad, casting was terrible.
Ewan Macgregor should not have accepted this after reading how cringe his role & the story was.
A lot of mistakes, poor decisions & a lot of stolen stuff from Deadpool, Suicide Squad & Spider-Man cartoon & probably 100 other things. Mindless fun for the die-hard cosplayer, weak to annoying viewing for a superhero fan or average adult...
50 pounds of crap in a 5 pound bag.
It is NOT terrible like The Last Jedi. But it has ALL the flaws of The Force Awakens & the Prequels, but FEW of ANY of their strengths.
Just really glad it is over.
Amateur hour storytelling, Master Class in- how to take an intellectual property & drive it into the ground through gross incompetence...
Hollywood says Peele is gold.. FKN LOL
Ordinary & pointless, this seems like a rejected Twilight Zone episode. As a director, Peele seems fine, production & acting good. Story is absolute dog5hit. I would not let Peele write me a thank you note. Very little to nothing makes sense in this- watch 'once & regret it', 2019s version of- 'blaxploitation'. Where black women are AWESOME, black men are non-threatening cucks & white characters are ridiculous souless ghouls to be indiscriminately murdered. Constantly through the movie Peele could not decide if he was making a comedy or a horror. It just keeps going. 6 times I found myself thinking- "When will this garbage end???"
Rambo: Last Blood (2019)
Sylvester Stallone at his ABSOLUTELY terrifying BEST!
A beautiful, heartbreaking, relentless & unforgiving chapter in the Rambo series... Sylvester Stallone may be the last real Hollywood star who actually DELIVERS what you order... & the steak is BLOODY!
Yvette Monreal is talented & gorgeous, Oscar Jaenada & Peris Mencheta rocked!
Stallone at his ABSOLUTELY terrifying BEST!
Dark Phoenix (2019)
Swap Wolverine for Mystique, Angel for Magneto & Jessica Chastain for ANYONE ELSE & you would have had a 10/10...
Disney may have bought the X-Men... But the dream will NEVER DIE! Don't believe RT shill media & paid reviews who would tank this movie, with some of the BEST MUTANT ACTION IN OVER 12 MOVIES, Dark Phoenix bristles with excitement & energy! Probably top 5 in all categories, a VERY DECENT show for a movie coming in two months of the biggest comic movie of all time!
Prof X, Cyclops, Storm, Phoenix, Beast & Nightcrawler had time to shine without being pushed to the side by Wolverine for once. But I still would have liked to see him one more time to wrap this series up.
Swap Wolverine for Mystique, Angel for Magneto & Jessica Chastain for ANYONE ELSE (didn't love her... sorry) & you would have had a 10/10...
Is it flawed? Yes. Is it perfect? No. But no X-Men movie is... they all suffer from problems that make their universe seem unorganized compared to the MCU.
I just hope that when Disney does reboot they keep Magneto & Mystique for special occasions & stop putting them in EVERY movie. Mystique in over 50 years in the comics was NEVER an X-Man, & Magneto is WAY better as a villian than just being half-half.
But give me X-Men over DCU or any other universe (except the MCU), this was a cool movie.
wanting a break from or growing sick of traditional super movies?
Like its star, Brightburn is short, but VERY creepy & menacing...
If it had come out at another time, it could easily have been a massive hit, but it's awkward release date between blockbusters almost guaranteed it a tragic miss.
I honestly really enjoyed the performances from Elizabeth Banks, David Denman, Jackson A. Dunn, Matt Jones, and Meredith Hagner, who all felt very real & invested in their roles.
The 'Elseworlds' premise is spot on, there isn't a moment of this movie that you don't think about Superman, & for a shoe-string budget, the effects seem consistently well done.
Unfortunately at 90 mins, it did seem very short in a year of massive super hero films- Endgame (180mins) Aquaman (140 mins) Captain Marvel/Hellboy (120 mins).
Horror/thriller/slasher fans, wanting a break from or growing sick of traditional super movies (in this age of overdone Hollywood Blockbuster monstrosities) are going to love this.
fun, gross, crazy & very likeable... this 'soft' reboot IS Hellboy in EVERY WAY, SHAPE & FORM!
Although the trailer & even poster had more spoilers than you could possibly believe, & the casting switch takes a bit to get used to, this new 'soft' reboot IS Hellboy in EVERY WAY, SHAPE & FORM!
Even without Del Toros creature shop, the digital characters & translations from the Hellboy comic were on point, interesting & terrifying.
The R rating, is probably the movies biggest flaw- excess swearing & SUPER graphic violence seem unnecessary & is probably a box office mistake for a paranormal action movie that kids would absolutely love.
Except for the origin briefly retold, it seems like JUST another great Hellboy adventure more than a reboot, being so close to the first two movies that Del Toro & Pearlman could EASILY come back with a sequel in a years' time & it not hurt whatsoever.
While skeptical to begin with I completely warmed up to it in very short time- fun, gross, crazy & very likable.
Captain Marvel (2019)
I loved Jude Law & his Kree team in this movie... but that is about it.
The 21st in an ongoing storyline, of a 20 run movie streak, & a month before the most anticipated movie of all time (Avengers 4), this movie was ALWAYS GOING TO MAKE MONEY...
But could the film makers deliver a quality movie when they are so caught up in gender, identity & social justice politics? Sadly... no.
I loved Jude Law & his Kree team in this movie. Gemma Chan was melt in your mouth & STILL break a tooth cool! I could easily have watched a good movie about these guys, (called Kree/Skrull War?)... not what we got though.
Brie Larson as Captain Marvel looked sad, uncomfortable, awkward & angry the entire movie. Her appearance did not look heroic, any Captain Marvel cosplay I have seen looked better than her, & it never looked like she enjoyed the role or costume.
Nick Fury the character, in almost half the MCU movies is ruined in this movie, & his origin & that of his infamous missing eye is thrown out for cheap laughs, that fell completely flat. For him to get his eye scratched out by a ridiculous MCGUFFIN is film heresy, & the writers should never work in film again.
The Skrulls first outing & origin is also ruined in this film. For 57 years in comics & cartoons, they have been the coolest & bad-ass enemies of the Fantastic Four, X-Men & Avengers. But in this movie for a social commentary they are made into sympathetic refugees (2/3s into the movie?) & ruin any chance of telling some of the greatest stories in the MCU.
Captain Marvels powers were completely inconsistent the entire movie also, sometimes she could be beaten by Jude Law, or normal humans, or an average Skrull, & her photon blasts were just that, a lame light show that mostly did nothing? Also, CM received her powers from the cosmic cube being shot at, but Jude Law was ALSO caught in the blast & received a concussion instead? Bad writing...
Over all, I gave this movie a 3 or 4 out of 10 for 2/3 of the movie & watched it reluctantly entertained... until the final 1/3 when it completely $hit the bed. The ending was so poorly written & executed it went down to a 2/10 with absolutely NO chance of redemption. A real blown opportunity & the first FAIL in the MCU...
Ready Player One (2018)
big budget CGI in a bargin basement 'straight to video' story.
I wish I had seen this in 3D, but even in 2D it was a visual feast and delight.
A VERY weak story and characters, especially poor antagonists made this far less than it's potential.
The quests & challenges were pathetic, especially after how cool friends and family had said the book was.
I was disappointed with characters story arcs, development, there were few twists, surprises or depth. There was absolutely nothing clever about the story at all?
My description in a nutshell- big budget CGI in a bargain basement 'straight to video' story... Spielberg is 10-15 years past being slightly relevant.
After reading this review, it makes me think- "Actually, it was MORE of a 5 out 10 than the 7 I gave it at the cinema?"
Lady Bird (2017)
indigestible... despite the cuteness of Ronan
Quirky but too pretentious & hard to watch, Steve Caarell did the- 'annoyed person stepping out of a moving car' 6 years earlier in- 'Crazy, Stupid, Love' & like him, she is fine (but for a cute pink cast), when in real life her imitators would probably be seriously injured. Ultimately I couldn't keep watching it despite the cuteness of Ronan.
A Quiet Place (2018)
the bastard love child of Cloverfield and Signs.
Clever, creepy and atmospheric. One of the best new horrors of the decade. Leads are so strong, it feels at times like a dark documentary and not the bastard love child of Cloverfield and Signs.
Rough Night (2017)
Watch- Peter Bergs 'Very Bad Things' instead...
FKN terrible rip off of Tomcats, Very Bad Things, Weekend at Bernies, Brides Maids and Hangover... except all of those movies were funny and this was tedious and hard to watch. 5 really famous actresses and Eric Andre should make for an amazing comedy... yet it really shone a light on how gross Hollywood has become, how tired and pathetic the writers are and how not only has feminism ruined the western world it has destroyed movies almost completely...
Like Knightrider... but Hasselhoff is the car...
Not quite Venom, but close enough to Venom that they must hate each other for coming out so close. Both very cool, both very fun, Upgrade relies more on stunts and story than Venom does it's big actors and SFX/CGI.
The best way to describe it 100% is accurately- think Knight Rider... but Hasselhoff is the car...
I liked this movie, maybe if I hadn't seen Venom first IT would have gotten the 9/10 & Venom the 7/10...
A Wrinkle in Time (2018)
Inception meets Interstellar, meets Oz the Great and Powerful... confused? You will be!
As a 40 year old white 'dude'- I was told by Brie Larson that she was NOT interested in my review on this movie, as it- "was not made for me!"
But after watching it... I'm not sure the audience, or the writers, or the cast completely knows who it is for either?
To describe it in a nutshell- 'Inception meets Interstellar, meets Oz the Great and Powerful' (and I didn't really like all three of them)... for kids?... or possibly just girls?... actually it will leave almost EVERYONE confused.
Oprah, Reese Witherspoon and Mandy Kalin seemed awkward, uncomfortable and were all too big and too distinguishable to be in such trippy weird roles.
If the writer/film maker was going for female empowerment, it just wasn't there, though the little girl, boy next door and her brother did pretty good jobs with what they had.
Michael Pena was good, (but brief), he almost always is.
Chris Pine was fine. He always is... never good, always 'just' OK... sigh.
The fantasy world/science talk/space-time left a lot to be desired, and there are elements of hell imagery and evil towards the end that didn't fit with most of the movie.
But all in all, I watched the whole thing to see what would happen next and it was not as bad as the other 2 movies I watched this weekend (Oceans 8 & Halloween 2018) which were both terrible attempts at far left-wing feminist propaganda, which this movie fortunately never really felt like (but it also didn't really feel like a Disney Classic).
Great theme song... TERRIBLE movies.
H20 was the best of what is one of the most famous yet WORST series ever. To disregard all sequels and make 2018 a DIRECT sequel to the original is a terrible decision. The ONLY way to save this and use Jamie Lee would have had her put on the mask and I would have been FLAWED... I NEVER want to see another Halloween, past, present or future. Life is either too long or too short.
Ocean's Eight (2018)
A few great actors... a few good actors... a boring script.
I never loved the Oceans movies, but this movie has 4 or 5 or more of my favorite actresses (& Rihanna!) But the characters are under developed, the story is a stretch and the movie seems pointless. At NO point did I think this movie was clever, fun or cool. I just thought it it was a waste of money, time & talent. Most of these people had better things to be doing with their lives... I know I do.
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
one of the BEST 3D EXPERIENCES I have had since Avatar!
Let me start by saying- I am not a very big Manga or Anime fan.
BUT Alita is one of the BEST 3D EXPERIENCES I have had since Avatar!
It really is nothing but a ridiculously exciting & over the top action & CGI movie!
If you love apocalyptic robots & future tech, you will be in heaven for the WHOLE 2 hours with this absolute cyber punk classic...
Rosa Salazar is totally lovable & fiercely awesome, Christoph Waltz & Jennifer Connelly are always a pleasure.
I found myself extremely happy with this movie all the way through, although it seemed to pack too many endings in like LOTR- Return of the King & not wrap up as cleanly some movies manage to do.
Other than that, a fun, cool & very SWEET film!
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
...terrible story, stodgy acting and dodgy script
I grew up with and loved the original Mad Max movies and Apocalypse is a big favorite genre for me... That being said- I did not enjoy this movie the first or second times I watched it... and I will hopefully NEVER try to watch it again...
Furry Road is easily THE most overrated garbage sci-fi to EVER reach the big screen.
False Flag critics thought it was going to win BIG Oscars as a strike against the man for Feminism (or some garbage) but all it ended up winning were sound and FX awards, nothing important (well not the big awards!).
I was actually offended by the terrible story, stodgy acting and dodgy script.
It is EASILY one of the worst reboots/remakes/sequels of ALL time, which is a scathing review in an era where more than 70% of films that open in cinemas (circa 2010-2020) fall into this category.
I have loved Theron in the past, but her hyper feminism is starting to turn my stomach, Hardy/Max is the title character (sort of...) and had no lines, and when you could make them out, they were corny as hell in really weird inconsistent accents???
I wouldn't force my worst enemy to watch this movie and certainly wouldn't chastise ANYONE who wanted to turn it off in the first 15 minutes.
Everything in the movie except the consistent color pallet crumbles under even the slightest scrutiny.
In all honesty, anyone giving this more than 5/10 doesn't have a mind to review anything.
Wonder Woman (2017)
Gorgeous Gal Gadot.. ...is a wonderful addition to the current DC Universe.
Gorgeous Gal Gadot, costumes and music (especially the theme song... drooool) are the BIG winners in this colorful and mostly fun movie.
Anyone who says it is the biggest or the best superhero movie of all time is having a lend of themselves, but it was pretty cool and only missed the mark a dozen times from making it as good as a Black Panther or Aquaman.
WW's supporting cast was a bit of a corny crew, as were the casting/characters and usage of the 3 main villains.
Chris Pine... just doesn't do it for me, he is just not as charismatic or entertaining as ANY of the Marvel ones like Hemsworth, Evans or Pratt...
Over all though, I liked a lot about this movie and think it is a wonderful addition to the current DC Universe.
M. Night Shyamalan has redeemed himself with Split and Glass...
I really enjoyed the melding of these two movies (Unbreakable and Split) to form this new movie. It was a lot of fun to catch up with David and his son so long after Unbreakable and to see James McAvoy revel in his greatest roll again.
Jackson is subtle and cool, giving his best performance since Django. Sarah Paulson as always is just a show-stealer who seems to make really good decisions when choosing movies and TV shows to star.
After a string of 'not so hot movies'. M. Night Shyamalan has redeemed himself with Split and Glass.
Aquaman is not supposed to be cool... this WAS FKN COOL!!!
Jason Momoa has easily got to be the most engaging action hero of 2019...
I guess the comedies like Family Guy & Simpsons and Robot Chicken are feeling pretty stupid for all of their jokes about how lame Aquaman is right about now... Aquaman WAS not supposed to be cool... this WAS SO FKN COOL!!!
The movie is totally Epic 10/10! Bigger & Better than Black Panther & Wonder Woman & crazier than Wolverine combined!
The DC Universe have smashed it out of the park! It really felt like they had a 3 movie plan and just said- "..screw it, ALL IN!"
Amber Heard was smoking and Dolph Lundgren, Patrick Wilson, Temuera Morrison, Nicole Kidman all slayed.
James Wan, take a bow... in an era of Logan, Infinity War, Deadpool and Black Panther... Aquaman stood VERY TALL!
Transformers meets Shape Of Water...
EVERYTHING we always wanted in a transformers movie & little that we didn't! The G1 characters were SO ON POINT, Volkswagen & John Cena pick up the slack from the lame comedians and omega males of previous films. Car lovers, movie lovers & robot lovers will be pleased with Transformers meets Shape Of Water.
The Happytime Murders (2018)
wasn't as disgusting as I had heard from reviews...
This movie doesn't really know it's audience... it's not for adults or kids, teens would hate it, no one who likes either puppets or cartoons would enjoy the SAME puppet joke over and over. Melissa McCarthy just playing herself (an angry fatty that is hard on the eyes and the ears) also is not a box office draw. This just made me bored and sad, it wasn't as disgusting as I had heard from reviews, not really shocking as much as lame & stupid. The same movie with a g or pg rating and a likable lead actress would have probably done A LOT better.
I'd gladly pay to see another Spider-verse with Miles Morales...
Some pretty dark elements for a PG movie, but overall a thoroughly exciting and enthralling Spider-Man movie that managed to be completely new and original while combining most elements of the first 5 films and several from comics and other media too.
Prowler is a real show stealer (which comic fans would never have predicted of this C-list villain) whenever he and his effects and music came on, the entire cinema held their breath and Miles Morales got such a strong showing in this, I'd gladly pay to see another Spider-verse starring him on the big screen!
All the villains were REALLY well designed (Dr. Ock is AMAZING...) Kingpin is finally done right! The first outing for Spider-Gwen was sweet and fun too.
Cartoony/corny Spider-Ham, Nick Cage (too famous a voice) and VERY graphic bloody murder were the only low points in an otherwise perfect film in almost every way!