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Drunk Parents (2019)
5/10
Great cast with a script written by a 5th grader
20 April 2019
Was Fred Wolf drunk when he wrote this screenplay? The story's concept was good, but the writing was horrible. The written comedy was so stale and stupid, it flopped any potential this film had. A 5th grader could've written a better script - and made it funnier. And I'm sorry... I am a fan of Salma Hayek, but she was utterly annoying in this film. The rest of the all-star comedic cast were great, but clearly their potential was underwhelming from the lousy script. The directing was ok, although certain scenes jumped all over the place, were convoluted, or cut to soon before needed information was given. It's a shame, as this film had potential. It certainly isn't deserving of any 1 or 2's, but is nothing above a 7 either. It's an honest 5/10 from me.
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Someone Great (2019)
5/10
It's ok
20 April 2019
Not that funny and kinda drags out. Ignore all the clearly fake 10/10 reviews, this is an honest 5/10
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Dagenham (2018)
1/10
I can't decide what's worse, the film or trailer?
20 April 2019
View the exciting and very informative trailer *sarcasm*. This film is less exciting and as interesting. And never mind the two fake 10/10 reviews that have only reviewed this poor excuse of a film
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9/10
Outstanding film with Oscar-worthy performance by Penn
19 April 2019
I wasn't thrilled about a biographical film story regarding a dictionary, but this one impressed me! Who would've though to know the history behind a dictionary?

Farhad Safinia makes his first full length feature film debut as writer and director, and nailed it. Produced by and also starring Mel Gibson - who was also great in his role, this film was directed exceptionally well, and the writing was good. I felt the screenplay was all over the place in a few areas, and the 124 min length a little too long for the story being told. I'm not a fan of slow paced films, but this one was just right. Casting was great, including Game of Thrones' Natalie Dormer, but wow did Sean Penn give an Oscar-worthy performance in his role as Dr. Minor. Glad to see him back on the big screen. The score was perfect and the sets/costumes on point for the era.

This is by no means an action packed Hollywood blockbuster, but instead a historical biopic produced extremely well, and a must-see.

A well deserved 9/10 from me.
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High Life (2018)
2/10
High Life: when you've taken acid all your life and write a screenplay about your delusional fantasies
18 April 2019
Warning: Spoilers
WOW, one of the worst films I have ever seen. As I invested my time from the start of this film, I concluded this will either be a brilliant film, or a massive flop, and sadly, it was the latter. All these positive critic reviews calling this an artistic film? This was a severely failed attempt of a pretentious experiment in shock and horror cinema for the wannabe artsy-fartsy crowd. And calling this a sci-fi? Please. Putting people in a padded box and surrounding them with imagery of space and a black hole does not make this film a sci-fi. Some reviewers saying this film is a metaphor... yes, for a terrible writing.

The screenplay was clearly written by someone who took too many drugs at a young age, is sexually frustrated (sperm troughs and a masturbation room lol?), and is clearly still on a wild hallucinating trip.

The plot had more issues than National Geographic. How does the first shuttle quickly go into the back hole, then fast forward to a teenager's age, and they do it again, all whilst the long mission from the beginning is to reach the black hole. And what genius launches another space ship filled with only dogs - and the smallest and cutest one survives? Let's also throw in some dumb sex scenes that would make Law and Order SVU cringe. Artistic? No, pathetic. A kindergartener could have written a better script. 95% of this film has mind-baffling plot issues of this scale.

The props, sets and costumes (e.g space suit) seemed to have cost the budget a mere $5k, and were all circa 1970 art department quality. Let's throw some old fish tank filters in a few rooms with padded walls and we'll call it a space ship set. Oh, and an air vent that needs a good punch to run, apparently with technology that can take a crew to a black hole. LOL.

The casting was a waste of talent, and I'd avoid this film on their resume, as their bland and pointless characters were far from artistic - or even necessary. As a parent, I ended up cringing every time the baby cried. Artistic? No, annoying - and unnecessary.

The almost 2 hour length felt like I lost an entire day. The pacing was ridiculously slow and anyone with A.D.D. will be looking for something shiny on the floor.

The only redeeming qualities were the amazing score throughout the entire film, the cinematography, and the stunning visuals - the rare times when shown.

This will be a forgettable film that I hate myself for watching until the end. A very generous 2/10 from me.
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The Rookie: Free Fall (2019)
Season 1, Episode 20
10/10
Writing in this episode on point - again! Season 2 please 🙏
17 April 2019
Loving the writing creativity of conflict in this season finale. Excellent suspense and humor at the right times, with a sweet little cliff-hanger. Well done and executed... all acting and directing spot on! The cast are all growing on me and are perfect in their respective roles. Keep it up guys. Another perfect 10/10 on this episode. Now to up my overall TV series score from an 8 to a 9! Can't wait for another season. 🙏
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Arctic (2018)
8/10
Stellar film-making with an outstanding performance by Mads Mikkelsen
15 April 2019
It's rare to find a film where the cast is only the one actor, and another that simply goes along for the ride - and pull it off.

YouTuber Joe Penna makes his full length feature film debut as producer, writer and director - an nailed it.

This is a simple film with a simple story, that effectively presents the battle of survival between man vs. nature.

The directing was perfection, the cinematography on point, the visuals absolutely stunning, and the score just right. Mads Mikkelsen gave an Oscar worthy performance - and that's with pretty much zero dialogue.

My only critique was the films 98 min length. Although the editing was good, and the pacing decent, the 'meat and bones' of the story didn't fit the length. This film should have been a little shorter, or more conflict added to the story.

Nevertheless, Arctic is the perfect example of old-school, straight-up stellar film-making. Don't go into this expecting any Hollywood action or dramatics.. this is simple and natural adventure and suspense.

A well deserved 8/10 from me.
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After (2019)
4/10
IMDb record for most fake reviews + done many times before = pass
14 April 2019
Decent directing, great soundtrack, but poor acting in a story done many times before. The long 106 min run time felt longer with the slow dragged out pacing. Then there's the IMDb record for the most 8-10/10 clearly fake reviews I've ever seen - wow. All have only reviewed this film. So obvious and sad. A big pass and very generous 4/10 from me.
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Crypto (2019)
6/10
Three writers, and you'd think at least one would get it right
13 April 2019
I get that all three writers are amateurs, but didn't the producers at least pick up on the need for a fine tune/re-write of this convoluted mess of a script?

There's little story that actually makes any sense amongst a ton of buzz words no one will understand in the entire 105 mins of this film, and for that length of time, certainly some unnecessary scenes could've been omitted and others (including the buzz word scenes) elaborated upon. It was never made clear what Martins full duty was, or why he left the big city head office, and so on. It's as if a 5+ hour decent screenplay was shredded, and random pieces put together to total the final runtime. I could go on and on, but it's such a shame no one invested in a seasoned screenwriter to at least fine tune the script, as this production had many decent values to it. The pacing was also slow for my liking, and this film needed to be trimmed down to 90 mins (with a proper script) or played back at 1.2x speed.

The directing/camera work was well executed. The acting by all leads was spot on and convincing, but casting Beau Knapp as Martin was another big mistake. He didn't suit that role/character, and his acting was way too bland. He'd been better off being cast as one of the thugs, instead of pretty much sleeping in his suit trying to act like a white collar exec.

The score was too outstanding for this film... I mean top notch, and created some great tension and suspense, but seemed overbearing next to the convoluted plot.

Aside from that, unless you have any idea about crypto currency and forensic accounting (luckily I do, and I was still confused), you'll lose interest in this film pretty fast.

Really too bad considering everything else was done really well. Sadly, it's only a generous 6/10 from me.
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3/10
Amateur hour + fake reviews = don't bother
12 April 2019
Actor, producer, writer and director Jerry G. Angelo wore all these hats, as one would in a high school drama class to create a project that's been done many times before, and thus also over-cliched. The directing is the only fairly decent quality of this film, and even that felt amateurish. The acting is sub-par, even for c-list actors, probably from the lack of directing the cast effectively. None of the cast were convincing, and they all seemed to struggle in the acting department. The screenplay was all over the place and the slow dragged-out pacing made the 105 mins feel like 3 hours. The sound was way off and distant, no boom mics? The score was too evident and annoying. A huge pass on this one, and ignore all the fake reviews. It's a very generous 3/10 from me
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MasterChef Canada (2014– )
8/10
Great Canadian version, but...
12 April 2019
It's no MasterChef USA, but I do like the authenticity and warmth from both Claudio Aprile and Michael Bonacini, but Alvin Leung is just plain annoying with his arrogant and cocky over-the-top attitude (maybe trying to be like Ramsay? not even close), and makes me lose my appetite when he samples the home-cook's food. He needs to learn some eating etiquette, and not stuff his mouth like a starving monkey smh. The show really needs to replace him. It's an 8/10, but would be 10/10 if it wasn't for 'Annoying Alvin'
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The Upside (2017)
10/10
WOW! All you wannabe critics need to give your heads a shake!
12 April 2019
First of all, if anyone thinks this is a fake review, click on my username, and you will see my 1000+ ratings and 600+ reviews.

Next, this film - outstanding perfection, wow! Anyone who gives this film anything less than a "I'm very hard to please" 7/10, knows nothing about properly critiquing a film. Comparing it as a remake is ludicrous, as in this day an age, original content is hard to find. Especially since the French original film was inspired by the true story about Philippe Pozzo di Borgo and his French-Algerian caregiver Abdel Sellou, only discovered by the French directors after watching the documentary À la vie, à la mort. Therefore in evaluating any (this) film, it should be done from its own merits, as I will do below, and is how to properly - and accurately, rate this (or any) film.

The directing by Neil Burger was flawless. The third-ever screenplay by novice Jon Hartmere (this being his first full length feature film) was outstanding. The sound/score great. The films length of 126 mins flew by, and although the pacing was natural, no scene ever felt unnecessary or dragged out. I actually wanted another 10-15 mins added to the end, just to make this feel-good story feel even better.

The casting was absolutely perfect - I can't imaging casting anyone else for these roles, especially Kevin Hart. Bryan Cranston was as expected, amazing, and Nicole Kidman was great. But the heart and soul of this film was the unexpected and surprisingly perfect performance by Kevin Hart. I have never seen him in a serious film, and he nailed this one - mad props! The scenes between him and Cranston were heart-wrenching, heartwarming and their chemistry very convincing. The humor was perfectly executed and unexpected - mainly because of Hart's natural ability to make humor out of any moment. I literally laughed out loud many times.

As far as I'm concerned, this film was simply perfect in every aspect. I can't find anything negative to critique, and thus is a perfect 10/10 from me. Whether you've seen the original French version or not, this one stands out all on its own, and I recommend you ignore all the infantile negative reviews and judge for yourself. Would I see it again? Yes, with friends and family. Would I recommend it? Absolutely! Now get the popcorn and tissues, and watch it!
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Dormant (2019)
5/10
Meh, it's barely ok for a B-grade film
11 April 2019
Making his first ever full length film debut in theses departments, writer and director Julian Jay Burton also stars in this film, that is nothing new or unique and rather cliched. The directing is decent but the 96 min runtime felt like 2+ hours with the slow dragged out pacing. Acting was sub-par, but I'm sure that was from the lack of experience in directing his cast, especially when he's also part of that cast. Ambitious to wear so many hats on your first film, probably should have invested in sharing some of those responsibilities, instead of the current 3 (and I'm sure more to come) fake 9 &10/10 reviews. It's a 5/10 from me.
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The Silence (2019)
6/10
Dear Netflix, where were the captions for those who don't know Sign?
11 April 2019
I found this film well directed by cinematographer turned director John R. Leonetti, and the acting fairly decent, but this B-grade film failed miserably with its screenplay. The Van Dyke's left many plot issues, and threw in scenes that needed more backstory. The pacing and length were decent, but this film needed more... such as Closed Captions for the Sign scenes that clearly no one could understand unless they knew sign language. I had to rewind, enable CC, then have to put up with every sound, song and dialogue plastered on my screen in text. The score was also too evident and out of place in most scenes, but unlike some of the other reviewers complaining about the creatures, I found them (CGI and V/SFX) well created and convincing, especially for a B-grade film. Still, this film could have been much better, but sadly missed the mark. It's certainly does not deserve all these 1 & 2's, but not even close to any 9 & 10's. It's a fair 6/10 from me.
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Shazam! (2019)
8/10
Just when you thought there were enough superhero movies, SHAZAM! another one comes along
8 April 2019
Well acted, directed and written, but the ending fight scene was too dragged out. The film was primarily an infantile plunge into the superhero world, but nevertheless great for the younger demographics, who could relate better than the usual string of caped crusaders. The plot and comedy was a little cheesy, but kids love Mac n Cheese right? Enjoyable mindless entertainment for the entire family. 8/10 from me
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Division 19 (2017)
4/10
An honest review
8 April 2019
I had a really hard time staying awake for this mess of a film.

The first 1/4 of the film was decent enough to suck you in, but then it was just random dumb camera shots (literally, 5 second scenes jumping all over the place - to no where) and some decent (but useless) Parkour acrobatics.

Clearly the concept was taken from many other films, but I didn't care about that. What bothered me was writer/director/producer Suzie Halewood's poor attempt to create a decent story/screenplay. It almost seems like of the 5 hours total of decent filming, it was edited down to random 5-10 second scenes that were repetitive and ended up no where. Major plot issues with lack of any real story, and even worse dialogue. How do two brothers meet again after 10 years, have a one-sided 5 second conversation about nothing, then onto the next scene? Jamie Draven as Harden needed much more dialogue, instead of all these irrelevant scenes on buildings.

I get this was a low budget film, and I really enjoyed the low budget effects, but the problem here is the very amateurish writing and terrible screenplay with useless scenes, jumping in and out of nowhere. Halewood's directing behind the camera was not bad, but her editing the film to its final cut was atrocious. A 5th grader could've written a more solid story.

Nevertheless, ignore the clearly fake 8-10/10 reviews. This film had a great opportunity that Halewood blew trying to wear all these hats. It's a 4/10 from me, strictly for the decent low budget effects and the acting.
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6/10
An honest review - for a change
2 April 2019
I'm pretty sure this film must hold the IMDb record for the most fake (every) 10/10 reviews lol. Clearly the overall rating speaks for itself, and it's a very generous 6/10 from me.

I think Max Martini wore too many hats with this film. His acting was great, directing (camera) decent, but the pacing and length needed work. The screenplay is where this film had problems, with plot issues and too many long dragged out scenes, that along with the slow pace, dragged down this film's entertainment value. The delusional comrade (of which the content of the conversations were mainly boring and unbelievable) and all that narrating (again, mainly boring) were unnecessary, and I feel it really toned down and took away from the film. Directing his cast also needed work.

This film's production felt like one of those Hallmark/Lifetime films, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but had it been edited down to 80-90 mins instead of its long 125 min runtime, it would have been more enjoyable.

Omari Hardwick, Gary Sinise as well as the rest of the supporting cast were good, but I felt Lily Rabe was over the top to the point of annoying in her opening scenes.

Nevertheless, an underwhelming film with a great story that should have been told better.

Still, mad props to Max Martini for putting his all into this film, and still pledging 30% of the film's proceeds to three charities that support veterans suffering from TBI, PTSD, and veteran homelessness.

Would I see it again? No. Would I recommend it? Yes, if you can get past the productions issues to see the reality of how PTST affects veterans. More of a Yes if you pay to see this film to pass on the financial support pledged to the Vets.
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8/10
Long, slow burn, but still a great biopic.
1 April 2019
Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson were perfectly cast and outstanding in their performances, as were all supporting cast and other leads. The directing and cinematography were on point, and the historical accuracy of the story was impressive, but I felt the screenplay was a little dragged out with the very slow pacing and too-long of a runtime at 132 mins. I also felt some of the scenes were not necessary and should have been omitted/cut down. Had the pace been picked up and/or edited down to 90-100 mins, this film would have been perfect. Still very entertaining and enjoyable. I especially liked the end credits that showed actual black and white photos of the real characters and how/where they ended up. It's an 8/10 from me.
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8/10
Could've been so much better if it wasn't for the convoluted plot
1 April 2019
Man I wish someone did a writing check on this bad boy film.

The directing and cinematography were perfection. The score on point. The acting needed improvement, but I'll give that a pass and say it was meant to be the characters. But the long 139 min run-time - of which the pacing was great, needed to be toned down of its over-plotted and extremely convoluted story, and excessive melodramatic scenes. Otherwise a real treat to watch with great suspense where there was suspense, and great action scenes. Much better than I expected, but certainly could have been nearly perfect of the writing was tighter. Nevertheless, a well deserved 8/10 from me.
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The Brave (2019)
8/10
One of the best low budget B-grade films I've seen 9/10
29 March 2019
One of the best low budget (2m) internationally produced B-grade films I've seen, and better than some of the recent Hollywood blockbusters with A-list actors. I wasn't expecting much going into this film but was pleasantly surprised. This film had no Hollywood flair in it at all; simple yet effective scenes, excellent choreographed action sequences with realistic fight/bullet wounds, and no over-hyped unconvincing scenarios.

This film is based on true events and was filmed primarily in Albania and Bulgaria, and thus the international setting was a refreshing change. The score was sheer perfection and maintained constant tension throughout the entire film.

Novice director William Kaufman was fairly impressive with this film, although I could have done without the shaky-cam moments. Otherwise his camera work and directing his cast was amazing. The cinematography and color choices where perfect for this films setting and story.

The first-ever writing/screenplay debut by Marco Balsamo was outstanding, who was also cast and produced this film. The pacing was perfect and the 103 min length flew by with the constant suspense of the story.

Louis Mandylor shined in his role and was convincing throughout. It was great to see Armand Assante, and he did fit his characters role, but I did have trouble understanding some of his dialogue. The rest of the cast also performed quite well, especially since I've never seen or heard of them.

An all around excellent suspenseful film I found very realistic and produced excellently. A well deserved 8/10 from me, and if anyone is questioning this review as being fake, click on my user name and you will see my 1000+ ratings and 600+ reviews.
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The Rookie: The Shake Up (2019)
Season 1, Episode 17
6/10
The good writers must've been on vacation for this episode
27 March 2019
The good writers must've been on vacation for this episode because the entire story was cheesy and I would've liked some type of continuation from the last episode.
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O.G. (2018)
8/10
Excellent non-Hollywood film on prison reality
26 March 2019
I'm not a fan of slow paced films without any real excitement, but this films story and Jeffrey Wright's performance kept me captivated throughout the entire film. The directing was decent with some nice shots, and considering it was filmed in a real prison with real inmates, it was quite the well put-together production. It really shows the reality of the last weeks of prison life from a 23 year inmate ready to get out to the real world facing his final challenges. No action, twists or Hollywood effects here, just a story told really well. It's an honest 8/10 from me, and if anyone questions my review as fake, click on my username to see 1000+ ratings and 600+ reviews.
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1/10
When you're on drugs...
25 March 2019
...and so are the people who financed this garbage for this infantile mess with more fake reviews than any other film. I started watching and then realized it's the stupidest thing ever to be produced onto a film reel. wow. 1/10
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The Enemy Within (2019– )
5/10
The lame over-dramatics are a joke
24 March 2019
Seriously, she's that dangerous she needs shackles? Gimme a break... this is a daytime soap opera playing in an evening prime-time slot, nothing more. Cheesy writing and cheesy acting. And the director needs to invest in a gimbal or tripod or ease up on the coffee-shakes, as the handheld bouncing around camera shots are annoying. A generous 5/10 from me
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Triple Threat (2019)
6/10
Great cast, excellent choreography, terrible writing.
24 March 2019
If I downloaded a movie from the Bahamas, does this make me a Pirate of the Caribbean? Because this pirate's film didn't have sub-titles for the non-English parts... aaaaaarrrrg!

I spent most of the film's running time hoping that these famous martial art pros get to work together again in a film worthy of their talents, instead of this ridiculous script that had more plot issues and was more predictable than a soft porn film. A 5th grader could've written a better story that made actual sense.

The fight choreography was excellent, especially towards the end, but also limited with the screenplay that needed work from its muddled narrative about criss-crossing allegiances, noble billionaires, shadowy criminal enterprises, and one guy out for vengeance that had dozens of opportunities from the get-go, but instead risked and/or allowed civilians to die before the obvious end result.

Don't see it for the plot, see it for the fight scenes... these guys all deserve a better story. It's a very generous 6/10 from me - solely for the all star cast and their multiple martial-arts discipline fight scenes.
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