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The main chick gets both of her arms and one of her legs chewed by gators but she can still outswim them. Does anyone think this makes any sense? The main chick's dad gets his arm torn off by a gator but when a gator bites the main chick's arm and starts the death roll, her arm is still intact and she can still fight off the gator.
Holy crap, she is invincible!
And how do the gators lay eggs in the basement and the eggs start hatching when the gators have been in the basement for not even a day?
Some of the shots are nice, such as the storm and the ending when the main chick lights her flare. But other than that, I have no idea why this movie is getting so many positive reviews.
Child's Play (2019)
Better Than the Last 5 Chucky Films
This is definitely better than most horror remakes and the last 5 Chucky films. I really don't care that Don Mancini is the creator of the Child's Play franchise, I never liked Child's Play 3, Bride, Seed, Curse, and Cult of Chucky. I hate how the Child's Play is becoming way too comedic and doesn't take itself seriously at all. I'm glad people finally decided to take Chucky to a whole new direction without Don Mancini's involvement.
- The movie focuses a lot on the relationship between Andy and Chucky. The original Child's Play doesn't focus on this relationship because Chucky is always trying to manipulate Andy. But in this remake, Chucky actually wants to be Andy's best friend and always tries to please Andy in the first half of the film.
- Mark Hamill does a fine job providing the voice of Chucky.
- The movie has a fair amount of humor. It doesn't try too hard to be funny unlike Seed of Chucky (Jesus, that movie is terrible!)
- The showdown between Andy and Chucky at the end of the film is very fun to watch.
- The music is great! Bear McCreary did a good job composing the theme for this film.
- Chucky's origin is just lazy writing. Some guy in Vietnam who works at a toy factory gets yelled at and insulted by his boss, so the employee decides to turn off all of Chucky's safety features, then he kills himself by jumping off a building and lands on a car, similar to Chucky's first kill in the original film.
- Pugg and Falyn are pointless. The film wouldn't be that different if these two characters were removed from the story. Falyn doesn't do much in the film but when Chucky controls other toys in Zed Mart to kill people, Falyn finally decides to be a badass. Pugg is the most annoying character. He tries to be funny but fails, and he serves absolutely no purpose at all.
- When Chucky is controlling Doreen's Kaslan car and makes the car drive recklessly, how does no one notice this in the parking lot?
- Why do the Kaslan chopper toys have sharp rotor blades? How is this appropriate for children to play with?
- Apparently, the Buddi Bear dolls have the strength to pull someone's body?
- How does Chucky have the strength and time to tie Karen up and tie the noose to the forklift? The film never shows this.
Overall, the film is ok. I had a lot of fun watching the film but the film still has a lot of flaws. I am definitely looking forward to the sequel.
Badass Fight Scenes and Good Visuals Ultimately Ruined by Lame Human Characters and Pathetic Dialogue
Godzilla definitely does have more screen time and fight scenes than the 2014 film. His and Ghidorah's designs are great. However, these do not compensate for the horrible script.
I do not know why most of the 9 and 10-star reviews are coming from people who made their accounts like 1-2 weeks ago. Fake accounts maybe?
Anyway, I know a lot of people are going to say "this is a Godzilla movie so the human characters don't matter. All Godzilla movies are like this."
I don't care. That logic is so flawed, retarded, and just plain weird.
When I watch ANY movie, I expect a good script. This movie does not have that.
1. The human antagonist (Charles Dance) is extremely generic. Nothing special about him. He's just a typical villain you would see in a comic book who wants to kill everyone just because he's got serious insecurities. He and Emma (Vera Farmiga) want to awake the giant monsters or "titans" because humans are destroying Earth by wars, pollution, and climate change, even though climate change is a natural part of Earth. I mean, you expect the climate to be linear 24/7? lmao. And the titans are supposedly here to retain Earth's natural state by destroying cities and civilization so trees can grow. Umm... ok? So, what exactly do Charles Dance's and Vera Farmiga's characters gain from that??? Idk.
2. The dialogue is pathetic. When Mothra comes out of her cocoon and calls Godzilla, some black dude says "do Mothra and Godzilla got a thing for each other?" Wtf? If you've watched the trailers, you already know the extremely cringy "My God... zilla" line. And when the Japanese dude blows himself up to wake Godzilla up and Godzilla emerges from the ocean, someone says "wow Godzilla has been hitting the gym." Which reminds me...
3. How dafuq does an explosion wake Godzilla up, make Godzilla suddenly all healed up, and ready to fight again? So let me get this straight, the Oxygen Destroyer blows up and knocks Godzilla out. Godzilla is so injured and is lying in some city in the ocean where there is an energy beam, and Godzilla could take years to be fully healed. So the Japanese dude blows himself up next to Godzilla to heal up Godzilla? Who wrote this?
4. The ending is awkward af. Godzilla defeats Ghidorah after Godzilla goes into his fiery transformation when his radiation level is very high. All other monsters and Rodan gather around Godzilla and start bowing down to him. This is so stupid and cringy. LMAO!
Not a Slasher Film
Don't expect to see gore or bodies being chopped to pieces. The worst thing this movie shows is at the end where Elizabeth shows Ted the pic of a decapitated woman and the movie shows a flashback of Ted smashing a woman's face with a crowbar.
This is not a slasher film. This film is mostly focused on Ted getting caught, running away from cops, and his trial, which is a little bit disappointing because I did expect the movie to show Ted attracting at least one woman and finally strike when they're alone and Ted has earned his victim's trust. But the movie doesn't show this at all.
The title is unnecessarily long.
Zac Efron's performance is good. However, I'll admit, at the very end where the movie shows a list of names of women who Ted murdered is cringy. Is that really necessary? All those women died 40-45 years ago. No one cares about the names of the women Ted killed. You can easily Google them.
Lords of Chaos (2018)
Looks More Like an Indie American Teen Parody Film Than a Biopic
The 2 biggest problems I have with this film are the cast and the acting.
Why would people in Norway speak English to each other? Wouldn't it make more sense if you hire actors speaking Norwegian if the movie takes place in Norway? Almost everyone in this film speaks English in an American accent. It does not feel like this film takes place in Norway at all.
The acting is HORRIBLE!
After Euronymous finds Dead's corpse and tells his band, one of the band members starts arguing with Euronymous after Euronymous has made necklaces from pieces of Dead's skull. The acting is so dull. I was not buying anything they were saying to each other.
Most importantly, the actor who plays as Varg is incredibly laughable. He looks NOTHING like Varg and is too fat to play as Varg. His acting is horrendous. I couldn't take anything he was saying seriously. He speaks with little emotion and you feel as if you're watching a play rather than a film. Everytime Emory Cohen laughs in the film, he sounds so awkward and cringy.
Lastly, this is a small issue, but after Euronymous has sex with his gf, he starts to get a bunch of weird visions about Dead in the woods as if you're watching The Ring. What was the point of that?
I was really looking forward to this film since I enjoy some black metal bands, especially Burzum. I read a lot of negative reviews and I even watched the real Varg Vikernes' youtube videos criticizing this film before I watched this film.
I tried to forget about the negative feedback and watched the film because I wanted to judge the film without any bias, but this is just stupid.
Do Not Expect This Movie to be Like 28 Days Later or the 2004 Dawn of the Dead
Not much of a horror film. No scares. No suspense. The dialogue is just boring and nothing happens in this film. The movie just shows the main character walking all day with his baby girl until he finally turns into a zombie at the end and the native girl helps to take care of the baby.
Don't make the same mistake as I did by expecting this movie to be like "28 Days Later" or the 2004 "Dawn of the Dead".
You won't see anyone getting ripped to pieces by zombies nor would you see a big showdown between survivors and zombies. The zombies in this film have very little screen time.
Also, the Lorraine girl dies one of the most generic deaths by jumping in the line of fire to save the main character.
Overall, just a boring ass film.
The Wolfman (2010)
Hideous CGI and No Horror Whatsoever
I expected this film to be horror, but no, it looks like it was directed by a music video director. The CGI really bothers me, especially the CG bear and moose, since they look incredibly fake. The fight between the two werewolves (father and son) is kind of corny and I really cannot take this movie seriously. It's funny how Lawrence kicks his father to a fireplace and his father's entire body gets on fire instantly.
You're Next (2011)
Brown and Orange Blood Lmao
It's amazing how every antagonist in this film gets their ass beat by a single chick who is crippled throughout half of this movie. How is that possible? The main chick could barely move yet she's able to kill EVERY villain here.
It's a low budget film with a bunch of nameless actors so don't expect good acting here.
Also, the gore in this film really bothers me. Why is all of the blood brown and orange? They couldn't afford fake red blood?
Way Too Similar to Alien and Prometheus
I would've enjoyed this movie more if it weren't such a huge ripoff of Alien and Prometheus.
Seriously? An alien life form that grows inside a human host and looks like a squid? Not very original.
And how does no one question how the squid looking thing gets on the black guy's leg without anyone noticing it?
The Monster (2016)
Completely Gerenic and Boring
The story is so generic that it's unbelievable. The mother hits a dog or a "wolf" and her car doesn't work anymore because of that hit. The dead animal is missing.
Hmm, I guess the monster took the corpse in the middle of the road and the mother and daughter didn't notice it.
When the tow truck guy is outside and the monster is approaching him, the mother and daughter shout at him to turn around yet their windows are closed.
How the fvck do you expect him to hear you shouting inside the car when your windows are closed? And why was the monster dragging his body from underneath the car when the monster is a size of a black bear?
When the ambulance finally arrives (of course the two people from the ambulance are going to die since those two characters aren't important at all), the monster throws the guy's body at the windshield.
Seriously, what is up with the monster throwing people's body and pieces at windshields? It's not scaring anyone.
When the mother drives the ambulance and makes the audience think they're finally safe, the monster (for some odd reason) catches up to the ambulance and rams its head to the side of the ambulance and the retard mother starts losing control of the steering wheel.
Are you fvcking kidding me? There's no way in Hell that monster was strong enough to move a truck just by ramming its head on it.
The film keeps showing us flashbacks so we can know more about the relationship between the mother, daughter, and the dad (sort of). Am I supposed to care about their background story? The two main characters don't interest me at all.
I find it hilarious how the monster runs away whenever someone flashes a flashlight at its face.
The little girl kills the monster just by using a lighter and a spray and use them as a flamethrower. That's it? How creative.
This movie is so fvcking stupid. The story is so simple that a little kid can easily come up with it.
Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht (1979)
Awful Acting, Incredibly Boring, So Slow, and Hilarious Make-Up
So Jonathan spends 4 weeks to reach Count Dracula's house so he can sell Count a new house but when Jonathan finally arrives, he sees a bald, pale white guy with long claws and Jonathan has zero reaction to those long claws on Count's fingers. Hmm, interesting.
Jonathan is sleeping in Count's house and Count walks inside the room and tries to... scare Jonathan? Or something. Their acting is HILARIOUSLY awful. They act with zero emotion. I was not buying anything they were doing.
Oh and you got to give credit to the makeup artists. I love how Count's face is pale white but his neck is much darker than his face.
And when Count is inside a coffin, how the fvck does he get all those men to transport all the coffins when Count is inside one of the coffins the entire time?
After Lucy gets bit in the neck by Count and Count dies from sunlight, Van Helsing goes upstairs with a stake to make sure Count is dead and Jonathan shouts out "Help!" inside the house and some cop shows up. Hmm, I guess that cop had some super hearing ability or something. The cop says to Van Helsing "Did he kill the Count?" Van Helsing says "Yes." Cop says "Arrest this man."
LMAO! That is some top notch acting right there.
And omfg, that short guy who would laugh nonstop like a goddamn retard is so fvcking annoying. I really wanted to stop watching the film because I could not stand his laugh.
I really don't know why this movie is considered to be a "classic" or even "beautiful" lol. I guess people have weird tastes.
I Honestly Have No Clue What People See in This
It really is ridiculous how this movie is being praised like crazy. This movie is so fvcking generic. It wasn't scary nor was it funny. Just stupid. This movie is FULL of jump scares. That's literally all the movie does in attempt to "scare" the audience. It's the cheapest and laziest way to "scare" people. Many times the kids in this movie try to be funny but come off really stupid instead. The scene where the two groups of kids are throwing rocks at each other and the movie is playing some rock music is so cringy. What the Hell was the point of that scene? Ridiculous. And what was up with that zombie homeless looking dude? That zombie guy talks like a death metal singer and I felt like I was watching The Walking Dead. I did not give a fat fvck about ANY of the kids in this movie. I was not interested nor was I rooting for the kids. There was nothing special about any of the kid characters. NONE of the kids of the "Losers Club" gets killed in this film. All that tension and none of the kids get killed. Not one. Close to the end of the film, Pennywise gets his ass beat by a group of kids with baseball bats and chains. LOL! He couldn't fight them back. Stupid movie.
Alien: Covenant (2017)
Best Alien Film After "Aliens", It Really Is Not That Bad
I was really looking forward to this film. I love the Aliens. They're my favourite movie monsters ever. I was curious about their origin. I have no problem with the direction Ridley Scott is going with this franchise. I mean, come on, it's the guy who brought Alien to the big screen in the first place, and the original Alien film is my favourite film of all time.
A lot of people dislike this film because they don't like how the Aliens were created by an android with a god complex and the Aliens were not this ancient species that evolved naturally. Tbh, I'm glad Ridley Scott is going against all these silly fan theories. I don't know why anyone would take these fan theories seriously anyway.
Originally, they wanted the Aliens to be created by the Engineers but Ridley Scott thought the idea of the Aliens being created by David the android would be more interesting and I can understand why Ridley Scott would say this.
Weyland creates David. David creates the Aliens. Weyland wants the Aliens.
In the older Alien films, Weyland-Yutani Corp wanted the Aliens so badly to study them for bioweapons. The company was so desperate to study the Aliens that they sacrificed so many of their own employees and other lives just to capture an Alien.
Alien: Covenant does have a lot of flaws though. I am aware of this.
I'll start off with the pros:
The movie has good cinematography and nice visuals. The CGI in this film is really not that bad. I mean, seriously? I've seen much worse CGI. Have you seen The Amazing Spider Man? Legend of Tarzan? Jurassic World? Those movies are much worse CGI. Trust me. This film has brutal death scenes (especially the back burster scene) and good amount of gore. Michael Fassbender did an amazing job in this film, just like in Prometheus. Katherine Waterston did a decent job. And this whole "SHE'S NOT RIPLEY!" criticism is really silly tbh. I really feel like people nitpick because they think hating on something is a popular trend or something. Idk. People don't make sense. Like seriously, what did you expect from Waterston's character? The Alien designs were cool. I'm glad they brought back the legendary Aliens to the big screen. This is the first time we get to see the Aliens in their own films in 20 years (Alien: Resurrection, 1997). I noticed the Aliens in this film have scorpion's stinger at the end of their tails (just like how the original Alien looked) rather than a sword-like blade in older films. The music in this film is beautiful, especially at that chest burster scene. A beautiful, emotional scene.
Now let's look at the cons:
The Engineers have very little screen time. It's funny because the Engineers played a big role in Prometheus but, in this film, the Engineers have like 10 seconds of screen time. The Engineers in this film look horrible. They look like ugly bald humans wearing white powder on their faces. And why were they wearing potato sacks when they're supposed to be advanced and superior to humans? I strongly preferred the Engineers' looks in Prometheus. The scene where the two women slip on blood was really stupid. I highly doubt blood is actually slippery. The movie does not explain why the Engineer at the end of Prometheus wanted to kill humans. The movie also does not explain why David killed the Engineers and why David hates humans. What exactly does David get out of creating the "perfect organism"? How does David hair grow? He's an android. He's not an actual living thing. That made no sense.
And the ending... oh the ending. Probably the most obvious ending ever. They really needed to cut the scenes where David is reaching for the knife and where David is looking back to the temple when Daniels and Lope are running to Tennessee's ship. Cutting those scenes would probably make the ending less obvious.
But overall, the movie is very fun to watch. People need to chill about this film. It's really not as bad as how other people say it is. I'm glad Ridley Scott is back to the Alien universe and I'm really looking forward to the sequel of this film.
But the best thing about Alien: Covenant is that it takes a huge dump on Alien vs Predator and kicks it out of the Alien timeline. Thank God. What kind of moron would want that awful, childish crossover to be canon anyway?
Predator 2 (1990)
Funny how people think this stupid franchise is connected to Alien all because of an EASTER EGG
Sooo... an alien hunter from God-knows-where travels to Earth to hunt gang members? A gang member's head is worth the hunt? It's funny how many times when the Predator was cloaked, people STILL saw it. Yeah, some "advanced" extraterrestrial that thing was, right?
One thing I never understood was why was the Predator so interested in Danny Glover's character? Of all the characters, Danny Glover just happened to be the special snowflake to the Predator. The Predator stalks Danny Glover to the graveyard but doesn't attack him, so what was the Predator doing? In the beginning of the film, Danny sees the Predator (while it was cloaked. Yeah, some high tech that thing was, right?), the Predator is just staring at Danny, and the Predator jumps down. Umm... so why didn't the Predator try to kill Danny at that spot?
The meathouse scene was ridiculous. The Predator is LITERALLY in the middle of guys with guns and everyone misses their shots. The Predator is right at their faces with that stupid looking spear and killing them. Those guys with guns couldn't kill an alien hunter that is OVER 2 METERS TALL and right at their faces... wtf!
After Danny shoots the Predator and the Predator is knocked out, he takes off the Predator's mask and when the Predator wakes up, it grabs Danny's neck and throws him away. Why didn't the Predator just kill Danny at that spot?
When the Predator throws its flying pizza cutter looking thing to Gary Busey, Gary's lower half body falls but where is his upper half? Stupid logic.
The Predator tries to blow itself up all because Danny tackled it off a building. But Danny prevents the bomb by slicing off the Predator's arm and the Predator starts falling to an old woman's bathroom.
You know, at this point, I think it's really funny how this Predator can't kill a cop, even when this Predator encountered Danny many times in this film.
After the Predator treats its wounds and runs away, Danny follows it to its ship. Predator was running away from a cop? LOL! Aww, I guess a cop was too difficult for the Predator to kill, even though Danny at this point has no gun.
At the end, Danny kills the Predator in hand to hand combat... wait a second, hand to hand? LMAO! And people think Predator is strong? Some old ass Predator shows up and gives Danny a gun from 1715 as a reward and the other Predators take the Predator's body.
So according to this movie, when you kill a Predator, its leader will award you. If you belong to a clan where the leader would reward anyone who kills you, you might want to look for a better clan to join.
You know, not only was this movie very stupid, but I think it's more stupid how retarded Predator fans think this franchise is connected to Alien franchise all because of a Xenomorph skull easter egg... EASTER EGG. EASTER EGG. EASTER EGG. They don't share the same universe, retards. Movies do easter eggs all the time, they don't mean anything. It was just a joke, the director said so if you watch the making of Predator 2. Are people really this dumb?
Predators got killed by humans multiple times in hand to hand combat yet people think Predators can kill Alien? LOL! Arnold beat a Predator's ass by using sticks... STICKS LOL. If Predators are extremely strong then why the fvck do they hunt humans for sport? Predators are obviously not that strong compared to humans. Go ask Adrien Brody, he killed a Super Predator in hand to hand combat.
Anyway, stupid movie, stupid plot, and stupid franchise. This franchise really needs to stop piggyback riding on the Alien franchise. It's getting old.
Suicide Squad (2016)
Badly directed and awkward
1. The movie had too much music. They started playing a Black Sabbath song, then White Stripes, Queen, and then an Eminem song? How can anyone take a movie seriously when it has an Eminem song in it? Horrible choice of song!
2. A lot of the scenes tried too hard to be funny but came off awkward instead. Many times when Harley Quinn made a joke, it wasn't funny, I felt like cringing. Also, the ending where Killer Croc was watching a rap music video that showed girls twerking was just childishly stupid.
3. No logic was in this movie. When the military was shooting Enchantress' minions, none of their bullets could kill them but somehow Deadshot and Harley Quinn could kill Enchantress' minions with their guns, as if their guns had some kind of special rounds or something. And the fact that Harley was able to kill Enchantress' minions by using a baseball bat was also dumb. When Deadshot found out Amanda Waller was in some kind of a safehouse, Amanda shot some people in that safehouse in cold blood. Everyone acted like it was nothing. Wtf? And when Harley Quinn was about to bow to Enchantress to trick Enchantress into thinking Harley would join her, Harley was reaching for a blade that was RIGHT between Harley and Enchantress and for some stupid reason, Enchantress was blind she didn't see Harley reaching for that blade!
4. I could not stand how they portrayed Katana. Of course, Hollywood only hires Asian actors if the Asian actors will play as these stereotypical characters like they're masters of martial arts/katanas and they hardly speak any English. The actress who played as Katana was an American but they made her speak Japanese most of the time. She probably had like one English line in that entire movie and she hardly spoke at all! Jesus this movie was better off without Katana! If you're going to portray a character in a racially stereotypical way, then don't have them in the fvcking movie!
Overall, this movie's worse than Batman v Superman. At least BvS was much more serious of a movie than this pile of junk.
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Incredibly stupid movie
This movie made no sense since the beginning. Ana shows up at Christian's office to interview him and they were there for a few minutes and already Christian started to have special feelings for Ana. One of the questions Ana asks Christian is "Are you gay?" Like wtf?! Where did that even come from? How was that relevant?
No matter where Ana goes, Christian ALWAYS finds out where she's at. The movie never explains how Christian was able to know Ana's exact location all the time, even when Ana was in Georgia to visit her mom, Christian knew exactly where to find her.
This movie has some of the worst acting I've ever seen. I expect this kind of acting from an indie movie but this acting was just boring and bad, especially from Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan.
This movie is basically boring dialogue and sex, I can't even call it "sex" it's more like bondage. Christian apparently loves whipping people when they're naked.
Christian wants to be with Ana so badly that he gives her a contract stating that he would be her "dominant" and Ana will be his "submissive". The contract was asking for Ana's consent for specific sexual acts like "anal fisting", "vaginal fisting", and even the use of "butt plugs" when Ana asked Christian "what's a butt plug?" WTF?! The dialogue was so bad and awkward most of the time.
I did not feel bad for Ana at all. Apparently, she loves Christian so much that she allows him to whip her and tie her hands when they're in bed together. And when Ana breaks a rule or something, Christian "punishes" her by whipping her even harder while she's naked.
This movie never explains why Christian does what he does. Completely ridiculous! The only reason why I'm giving this 2/10 stars is the fact that Dakota Johnson had a pretty nice looking body.
Overall, this movie's complete SHlT!
The Wolverine (2013)
So Wolverine saved this one soldier in World War 2 and the guy was all grateful. In present day, Wolverine was just sleeping in the woods and doesn't explain why he was sleeping in the woods in the first place. The man he saved in World War 2 is now an old dying man and he asks Wolverine if he wants to transfer his powers and immortality to someone else, but Wolverines refuses. Later on, the old man dies.
It turns out the old man's son Shingen wanted his dad to die just because his dad didn't want Shingen to be the chairman of his company. The plot really sounded like a ripoff of Gladiator.
All of these guys were trying to get Mariko, who was the old man's granddaughter, and Wolverine was trying his best to defend her. And for what? All because some old guy didn't want his son to be the chairman of his company? Completely idiotic.
When Mariko finally gets caught, she gets brought to where her grandfather was born in. It turns out the building her grandfather was born in is now some secret science facility or whatever. Wolverine goes after her and for some odd reason, Mariko was able to see Wolverine running on the street from miles away.
When Wolverine is brought to the facility, there is this giant robotic samurai that is made of adamantium. Wolverine fights this giant robotic samurai and at the end of the fight, it turns out the giant robotic samurai was controlled by Mariko's grandfather from the inside! He never died! WTF?! What was the point of him faking his death? It turns out the whole point of that giant robotic samurai was to drain Wolverine's powers out of him and transfer his powers to Mariko's grandfather. WTF?! Completely moronic! That was so fvcking stupid. They went through all that work building that giant robotic samurai made of adamantium just to drain Wolverine's powers out of him? And the old man wants Wolverine's powers so he could be young again and live forever.
I find it hilarious how Yukio is able to cut through chains by using a katana. And the actress who played as Mariko could not act for shlt! And the scene where the blonde Viper woman was chasing down Wolverine as he was about to fight the giant robotic samurai and the Viper woman started hissing like a snake and then got shot in the chest by an arrow, yea, that scene was corny as shlt.
I hate how every time Hollywood hires Asian actors, they always make the Asian actors to play as these stereotypical Asian characters like they're nerdy, they do kung fu, they're highly traditional, or they use katanas. It's hilariously ridiculous! I guess Hollywood still has not learned that most Asian people live her lives just like everyone else and their minds aren't stuck in the 14th century or something stupid like that.
I'm giving this 4/10 stars because the movie is a bit more violent and has some blood in a few scenes.
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Very weak and corny
This movie makes the first two X-Men movies look like masterpieces and I'm not saying the first two X-Men movies were bad, they were above average films.
When I first saw Beast, I actually laughed out loud. He looked RIDICULOUS! I couldn't take this movie seriously. Beast just looked goofy.
Some scenes tried to be funny, like when Ellen Page's character trapped Juggernaut in the floor, he said "Do you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" It comes off really corny. The humor was childish.
When the mutants were fighting the soldiers next to the bridge, most of the mutants weren't even using their powers. They were just fighting like normal humans. Wtf? And the soldiers' plastic guns were laughable. They looked so fake! At the end of the film, Phoenix tries to kill everyone and Wolverine is trying to get to her and when he does, he says to Phoenix "I love you" and Phoenix goes all soft on him and then Wolverine stabs and kills her.
So in this film, Cyclops dies, Professor X dies, and Jean dies but the ending tries to be all happy and people were smiling. What the Hell?! And Marie left and didn't help at all because she saw Bobbie and Ellen Page's character ice skating with each other and got all jealous. But as soon as the movie is about to end, Marie decides to show up right before the credits and did nothing to help out her allies.
And what was up with that Asian guy who grew small spikes out of his face and shoulders? That superpower was lame as fvck! It was nothing special.
God, this movie had poor writing and horrible direction.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
This has a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes? Lol.
Charlize Theron's character Furiosa drives to a different route with Immortan's five wives and some collected gasoline so she could go to this "Green Place" a place where she was born in. She tells Max she was taken when she was just a child. Max and Furiosa run into this clan of women called Vuvalini and for some stupid reason, they recognized Furiosa. How?! She was taken by Immortan when she was just a child! How were they able to recognize her when Furiosa is now fully grown and they had not seen Furiosa for many years?! Max eventually tells Furiosa that the place Immortan controls, which is Citadel, has clean water and shlt like that, and Furiosa changes her mind about the Green Place, since I guess it was destroyed or whatever, and they all decide to go back to Citadel.
WTF?! Are you fvcking kidding me?!
That has got to be the dumbest writing I have ever heard of! So you're telling me Furiosa went through all of that trouble and she nearly got killed multiple times because she wanted to escape from Citadel and go to this "Green Place" but when she found out this "Green Place" was gone, she decided to go back to Citadel, even though that's where she fvcking came from! Why is Furiosa acting all surprised when she finds out Citadel has clean water and shlt?! She came from there! She worked for Immortan, had that war rig, and she took Immortan's five wives! So the whole time she knew and worked for Immortan, she never knew Citadel had clean water?! That means everything she went through to escape from Citadel was for nothing! What was the point of all of those chasing, shooting, exploding, and dodging when Furiosa is just going to change her mind and go back to Citadel?!
Jesus the story is stupid!
And what was the point of Max's dead daughter or whoever she was? What purpose did that little girl serve? Max's flashbacks of his daughter did NOTHING for the plot! It was completely pointless.
Only reasons why I'm giving this 6/10 stars are the action scenes were fun to watch and Charlize Theron looked and acted awesome in this film, even though her character was stupid.
Crimson Peak (2015)
What happened to you, del Toro?
Well, aren't I a fool? I thought this was going to be a horror film, but no, it turned out this was a Gothic romance film.
The first 30 minutes of the film was another one of those generic dark romance films. Thomas is an English man trying to advertise his clay machine or whatever it is, he fells in love with Edith but Edith's dad doesn't approve of those two to be together. Edith's dad hires someone to get information on Thomas so Edith's dad could use it against Thomas to convince Thomas to not be in a relationship with Edith. Thomas breaks Edith's heart because Edith's dad wanted it and the next day, someone murders Edith's dad by smashing his head to a bathroom sink.
Yeah, not very inspiring.
Edith and Thomas finally marry each other, he takes her to his shltty looking, old ass house that has a huge hole on top of the house. Edith notices there's a ghost in the house, I forgot whose ghost it was, and the ghost was obviously CGI so that didn't help the film out at all.
Alan the doctor finds out Thomas is already married to someone else and the last check Edith's father ever wrote was for Thomas. Umm, how is a DOCTOR getting all of this information? Edith eventually finds out Thomas has been married to multiple women and kills them. He and his sister Lucille takes the wife's money and move on. Another thing is that it turns out Thomas and his sister have a fvcking thing for each other! Yes, incest! They killed their mom because their mom found out about their incest relationship! WTF?! How is Thomas already considered to be married before he married Edith when his previous wives were KILLED?!
If your spouse dies, you're not considered to be married anymore.
And for some stupid reason, Thomas actually loves Edith. So out of all of the women he married, Edith just happens to be this special snowflake and Thomas tries so hard to protect her from his sister Lucille. What's so special about Edith? Why did he feel Edith was so special compared to the other women he married? And what was that red clay on the bottom floor? The red clay would get on top of the ground outside of their house. What was the point of that red clay? It served no purpose at all.
When Edith sees Thomas making out with his sister, Edith runs away and Lucille catches up to her. Edith says "YOU'RE NOT HIS SISTER!" and Lucille awkwardly says "I am." and pushes Edith from like two floors and Edith for some odd reason survives. It turns out Edith only has a broken leg from that fall. How?! She landed on her back! And you're telling me she could run after that fall?! Unbelievable!
Towards the end of the film, Lucille is in pursuit of Edith and tries to kill her and Lucille was awkwardly hissing at Edith, which was so cringe worthy. Edith finally kills Lucille by hitting her with a shovel after Edith tells Lucille to turn around and Lucille, for some stupid reason, did what Edith told her to do.
The story was just silly and the CGI wasn't very good. The movie wasn't terrible, some scenes did get my attention and I thought Jessica Chastain and Mia Wasikowska looked pretty good here. The movie could've been better and I was a little disappointed by the fact that this movie was made by del Toro. I expected a little more from him.
How this movie became a classic still baffles me
Seriously, what is the big deal of this movie? Predator is overall a mediocre film. The dialogue was stupid, like "I ain't got time to bleed" and "slack jawed f@ggets!" The action scenes were boring. This movie is hardly an action film. Most of the action in this movie comes from the scene where Arnold's team shoots up a military camp and when the Predator creature gets into a hand to hand combat with Arnold. The movie builds little suspense and I did not care for any of these characters. The movie tried too hard to be "cool" so I couldn't take this movie seriously.
Right before the showdown between Arnold and the Predator, Arnold jumps into a lake and when he got to the surface, he sees that the Predator also jumped into the lake. Arnold crawls away and as he does, his body is covered in mud. What baffles me is the fact that his ENTIRE body was covered in mud just by crawling in the mud as if someone got mud in their hands and smeared it all over Arnold's body. The Predator couldn't see Arnold's body heat due to the fact that his body was covered in mud. Wow. For an "advanced alien hunter" the Predator wasn't very good. It got fooled by a guy covered in mud. And does that even work? Covering yourself in mud hides your body heat? That idea is stupid. The Predator's heat vision was terrible. I could barely see anything when the camera turned to the Predator's heat vision.
At the showdown between Arnold and the Predator, the Predator was just slapping Arnold around like how any man could. I find it hard to believe how the Predator was able to rip Billy's spine out with its bare hands and lift and throw Arnold in the air with one hand yet Arnold was fine after being slapped in the face by the Predator. When Arnold finally defeated the Predator, the Predator set off its nuke and laughed exactly like how Billy did earlier. That scene was ridiculous. What was the point in that Predator nuking itself?
One more thing that did not make sense about this film, after Arnold's team shot up the military camp and took off, the Predator showed up and held a dead scorpion in its hand. You could see the dead scorpion in the Predator's heat vision. Umm bugs are cold blooded, they don't give off body heat.
The movie is overrated. I can see why this movie received polarizing reviews when it was recently released. How did this movie become a classic? I don't know. Probably because of the whole Alien/Predator crossover.
One thing is for sure, the ONLY reason why Predators are this popular is Xenomorph. If 20th Century Fox never wanted to make an AvP movie, Predators would had never become this popular.
Jesus this movie was just so fvcking boring! There were so many times when I nearly fell asleep. I could barely pay attention to the film because I tried so hard not to sleep. Many times the camera would just stay on the actors and the actors wouldn't do or say anything. Also, you cannot watch this film without subtitles. It is IMPOSSIBLE to understand what these people were saying without subtitles. The British accent and words like "thou", "thee", "thy", "art", etc.
Close to the end of the film, the mother and father are dead, Caleb is also dead, two dead goats, and the twin kids were gone. The movie never explains what exactly happened to the twin kids. Thomasin was being accused of being a witch by her mother the whole time and after all of her family members died, the black goat turned into this man and Thomasin decided to become a witch. Why would she want to join the witches? Thomasin acted like she didn't care that much about the fact that her family just died.
Some scenes did get my attention and at the end of the film when Thomasin was entering the woods in the dark completely naked, she had a nice ass.
Overall, this movie does not deserve a 91% on Rotten Tomatoes. If you are planning on watching this film, make sure to drink some coffee.
The Babadook (2014)
The movie built very little suspense to me. I was getting a little annoyed by the kid who was playing as Sam, or maybe it's the fact that I don't like kids in general. Anyway, it's another one of those movies where a little kid somehow sees a dark entity, no one else knows what the kid is talking about, and the kid starts to behave strangely. The main kid, Sam, read a book about some monster called Babadook and he thought it was real. The movie was not original and the script seemed very simple. You don't even get to see what the Babadook looks like exactly. It's another one of those horror movies where they don't want to show the audience what the monster actually looks like because the film makers thought it would make the movie more scary. It was just stupid.
The movie never explains to the audience where exactly the Babadook came from, why it does what it does, and how the Babadook came to life.
Close to the end of the film, the mother of Sam, Amelia, begins to act strangely also and starts to believe in the Babadook. I know, very original, right? Not to mention, the Babadook made some very generic monster sounds that we have all heard many times before. The Babadook creature tried to attack Amelia and Sam but Amelia decided to scream at the Babadook and shouted "IF YOU TOUCH MY SON, I WILL FVCKING KILL YOU!" The Babadook ran away and hid in the basement.
At the end of the film, Amelia was gathering worms in her backyard for the Babadook to eat in her basement and we still don't get to see what the Babadook looks like. After that, Amelia went back outside and was all happy to be with her son Sam. Umm, quick question, how did Amelia know the Babadook would eat worms?
Wtf? This movie was just boring. I did not care for any of these characters. The scariest thing about this movie is the fact that this movie currently has 98% on Rotten Tomatoes.
The idea of making an R-rated superhero movie is good and I think it should be a trend but this movie is not a very good example.
A few scenes did make me laugh. I liked the action scenes.
However, one problem I have with this movie was that it was trying too hard to be funny. Some of the humor was just ridiculous and very bad taste. Examples would be the scene where Ryan Reynolds farts and the scene close to the ending where Ryan Reynolds was lying next to his lover Vanessa as he was still fighting Ajax, he made a hole with his fingers and stuck a finger in the hole as a sex joke. Also the scene close to the beginning of the film where Ryan Reynolds had a hole right in the center of his ass on his suit was just childish.
Another problem I had with this movie was that Ajax was just not an interesting villain. He tortured Deadpool, fought him, kidnapped Vanessa, fought Deadpool again, and then got shot in the head at the end. For a supervillain, Ajax didn't do much. And the movie never explained how Ajax got his super strength.
My last issue with this movie is the fact that Deadpool was played by Ryan Reynolds. He is like Jackie Chan, Danny Trejo, or Adam Sandler, you can't take those guys seriously, especially after Ryan Reynolds was in that horrible Green Lantern film in 2011.
Hopefully, the sequel will have better humor and villains.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
Anyone who likes this movie is an idiot
When Eric was parasailing with Ben, their boat entered a fog and the guys who were on the boat got killed by an unknown species. The movie never shows what exactly killed off those guys on the boat. How could a creature kill a couple of guys on moving boat?
When Alan Grant was giving out a presentation to a bunch of people, he said he would never go on an island that contains a bunch of dinosaurs no matter what yet a several minutes later, Alan agreed to go on Isla Sorna for money. Way to go on contradicting yourself.
When Alan was on a plane, he had a dream where no one was on the plane except for him and a Raptor that said his name which was pretty awkward and pointless since it brought almost no suspense at all.
After people landed on the island, they decided to go back to the plane because they heard the Spinosaurus roaring. As soon as the plane was in the air, the Spinosaurus showed up and it hit the plane. The plane lost control and crashed in trees. Great mechanics and nice piloting.
The Spinosaurus attacked again and knew exactly where the plane was in the trees. It decided to rip the plane in pieces and when the plane fell to the ground, everyone ran out of the plane and it took the Spinosaurus a few seconds to realize everyone just escaped on foot. That scene really showed the Spinosaurus' intelligence.
Alan then found out he was paid to be on the island to help the Kirby couple to find their missing who had been missing for 8 weeks. They found a parachute and a camera. Amanda said the camera's batteries died, so the bald guy decided to use batteries from a fvcking flashlight for the camera. WTF?! As they were watching videos on the camera, the camera showed the Kirby family on a beach and Amanda said that was taken in the morning when Eric left. Umm wait, earlier Amanda said she and Paul had a divorce a year ago, so why was Paul in the video with Amanda 8 weeks ago on a beach? That doesn't sound like what a divorced couple would do.
Ben was found on the parachute completely in skeletons. So let me get this straight, a person's corpse will be nothing but bones in just 8 weeks or less? WHAT?!
The people found this facility where dinosaurs were being created and Amanda saw a Raptor's head that was just awkwardly standing there still and then it proceeded to attack them. Why didn't the Raptor attack those people earlier? Why was that Raptor standing there awkwardly still?
Alan and Eric heard a phone ring from MILES away and they started running. Paul and Amanda heard Eric yelling from MILES away. They reunited at a fence and when they turned around, the Spinosaurus was awkwardly standing there staring at them. Why was it just staring at them?! Why didn't the Spinosaurus just attack the people as soon as it saw them? And how the actual FVCK could those people hear the phone ringing when it was inside the Spinosaurus' stomach, especially when they were miles away from it? Why the fvck was the phone still working when it was inside the Spinosaurus' stomach?! The people ran away from the Spinosaurus and hid inside this building. So let me get this straight, a Spinosaurus can break through a steel fence in a second, but it can't break through a steel door?
Eric saw a Pteranodon walking right towards him on the bridge, caught him and flew away. Everyone else decided to run on the bridge. Seemed like the whole "one person at a time" idea was pointless.
After the people escaped from the birdcage, one of the doors opened trying to build up more suspense yet we don't get to see Pteranodons attack again in the film so what was the point of that door opening?
The people were on a boat and they heard a phone ringing and it turned out the phone was inside the Spinosaurus' feces. Why was that phone still working?!
The next day, the people were running toward an ocean and they happened to bump into Raptors and it turned out the Raptors were after them the whole time because Billy took two of their eggs and the Raptors wanted their eggs back. WHAT?! It would make more sense if the Raptors were after them because the Raptors wanted to eat them, but no, the Raptors wanted their eggs back. Once they got their eggs back, the Raptors left. That idea was so retarded. Seriously, who wrote this? And somehow, Amanda was the special snowflake because the Raptor specifically wanted HER to give back the eggs. As Amanda was giving back the eggs, Alan thought it would be fun to try out Billy's Raptor whistle which made no difference to the situation at all so what was the point in that? And as Alan was blowing on the whistle, Paul the retard said "call for help." WTF?! How could Alan call for help with a whistle? If Alan tried to call for help by making a Raptor's sound, it would only attract more Raptors.
At the end of the film, it turned out Billy was alive the whole time. HOW?! He was getting his ass kicked by the Pteranodons a bunch of times while his body was in moving water yet you're telling me the military found him and Billy was OK.