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Reviews
Clarice (2021)
Simply Horrible on EVERY Level
God this sucks.
The writing is moronic.
The story line is really really stupid.
The music is annoying beyond belief.
And the direction is sophormoric.
Clarice is so important that only she can work on this idiotic cases, but then everybody treats her likes she's 5 years old.
Why did you put this junk on TV?
The Capture (2019)
Wow How did this get a 7.8?
It's an interesting concept that just flounders after the first few epsodes and then gets plainly stoopid.
You'd need a really big and heavy tin foil hat to buy into this crap.
AND the ending is just garbage.
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
I'm Giving This One More Star Than It's Worth
This is a solid 5 star low buget flcik.
It's very easy to watch.
But it's really below the level of Sam Rami's Evil Dead in terms of quality.
And the ending is stupid.
I have it an additional star beause it's the first film Cage has made in the past 8 years that has been watchable.
The World to Come (2020)
Is It Over Yet
What a borefest.
Dumb premise that has been done a hundred times before so you're sick of seeing it already.
Acting not all that good with noting but B-and C-level actors pretending to be dramatists.
Direction is typical for this genre.
As a whole you will fall asleep and pray to baby Jesus that they never make another boring piece of crap like this again.
Confessions of a Time Traveler - The Man from 3036 (2020)
How Stupid
THis doc is an insult to anyone with a brain.
First of all, from frame one you can tell this is totally fake.
But wait it gets worse. The guy who plays the alledged time traveller is th worst actor on the planet Earth.
He's alight weight.
And so it the interviewer.
And the stupid premise of this movie is that Earth is pretty much destroyed. No animals and solar panels all over. It's idiotic anc written by some clown who clearly has no education or imagination.
What a bore. Don't bother.
Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)
One Trick Pony
Drab, boring, story whose only hook is the interactivity that grows old real quick.
The direction is really annoying. There's next to no emotion in the characters and everyone seems ot talk in the same monotone.
Over all it's a pretty boring show.
D'après une histoire vraie (2017)
Another Great Polanski FIlm with a Scratch Your Head Ending
Polanski as a history of movies which take a left hand turn right at the end. Rosemary Baby does, Bitter Moon does, The tenant REALLY does, and this one is no different.
I was entralled by the film, but somewhat let down by the ending.
Similarly, I love The Tenant. I've seen it like maybe 20 times and STILL don't understand the ending.
Same here. But only one viewing.
Born a Champion (2021)
Karate Kid and Rocky for MMA
Very odd under the radar movie. It's made for like three cents, kinda cheesy, a little silly, but I couldnt take my eyes off the screen.
It's a similar format to the Karate Kid and Rocky but with enough differences to keep you interested.
A surprisingly good sleeper. BTW Dennis Quaid is not the star. This is probably a movie he did for the money. Or maybe they needed something of a name to garner interest. Doesnt matter the guy who plays Mickey is the one to watch.
Scooby-Doo! Curse of the Lake Monster (2010)
Snorer
Rather boring entry into the scooby doo franchis wth some really bad casting choices and writing credits.
It sucks
Boring story and lackluster actors. Soooooooo BADDDDDDD
House of Dark Shadows (1970)
1000 Times Worse that the TV Show
This might just be the WORST movie I have ever seen in my life. Nothing makes sense. Curtis is a HORRIBLE director
The TV show was fun becuse it was live and just over the top.
The movie actually tries to be serious but fails miserabley.
It's really really that bad..
I Never Sang for My Father (1970)
Great Film with ONE Caveat
This is a really really well sone picture. It's a small picture with a big impact. The acting is wonderful and so is the directing.
The scrpt is just great, based on a play.
There's one problem seing tis movie in 2021. The soundtrack. It's the worst, most distracting dated track on the face of the Earth.
Look for some sitcom actors showing up.
Penn & Teller Get Killed (1989)
Arthur Penn Misses Bigly
I love P&T. But man o man whose idea was this train wreck?
Isnt Arthur Penn a respected director? Did he suddenly need the money?
The movie remids me of Howard Stern's movie in that it's really cheaply made, stupid and stars the title people.
The whole idea that these two live life by playing practical jokes on one another is just plain stupid and it falls flat really quickly.
It's just too sophormoric.
Blackenstein (1973)
No Where Near as Bad as the Other Reviews Say
This movie is actually a cut above most blacksploitation movies. There is no racism and no nudity.
The story is not all that bad.
It's actually pretty well directed.
OK, the acting is a bit bad but it sports the stripper from a John Waters movie.
The back story is sort of interesting. The writer/producer lived in Bela Lugosi's formaer mansion and was murdered gangland style in it a few years after making this movie.
They say it wasnt as big a finaincial success as Blacula but it didnt need to be. It was made on the cheap and took in maybe $3.6 million.
Olga's House of Shame (1964)
Way Better than the Reviews Suggest
This movie is an interesting curio on many levels -- the director was a joke writer for Jack Paar. One of the hot tied up chicks is the mother of all the kookie Arquettes. One of the few dudes in this movie loooks like Ed Wood which is interesting in that the movie has the same producer as Glen or Glenda.
There's plenty of stroke material for the young boys watcing hte movie and most of the women are pretty hot.
Production values are much better than most movies like this that came our at the same time. OK so the actin gisnt the best, but are you watching this for the acting?
Overall I have to say it's not a horrible film or a fiasco. Deserves a better rating than it's getting. As a regular movie it's a 2 or a 3. But as an exploitation it's really a solid 6.
Revolution (1968)
Why Didn't We Heed the Warning?
A bunch of slackers who don't want to work sitting around in the park pontificating about climbing trees.
Rich kids who never had to do anything for themselves decide to rebel by not working.
George Harrison said it best when he told the story about going to the Haight and seing that it was filled with unbathed losers and trash.
That's the movie and we're reliving it today.
A Couple of Trouble (1969)
Truly Horrible
This movie is darn near unwatchable.
First of all it's done like it's 1960 not 1969. What do I mean? Well for starters it's filmed silent and a silly stupid narration track is added afterwards. Who does that in what will be 1970 a few mnths later?
The sex scenes are not just tame they are sleep inducing. More hard care can be found on TV these days. And way sexier too.
The film has no real plot and it's short length seems three times as long because it's so frigging boring.
Someone said this is true grindhouse. They don't know what grindhouse is, apparently.
Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood (2017)
There's an Agenda in this Movie
I read Scotty's book. Who knows if it's realy. There's a web site that takes everything in the book and researches it and lots don't add up.
Other side of that coin is why would he lie? But it's hard to believe so much of the book.
So the movie sort of takes you through the book but it really focus's on the gay part. Wonder why? Scotty wasnt gay. He was married and even has a daughter. As he says himself, he;s 'everything."
It brings the movie down. The entire focus is on an agenda.
It's interesting listening to Scotty. The rest of the movie is a bore.
Cracking Up (1977)
Unfunny
Maybe if you were in a club drunk watching this performed live it woud be funny. But on film it's clear this is sub par humour.
The film feature a lot of people you will recognize like a young squiggy who just died. McKean and Harry Shearer who is the most arrogant and hated man in Hollywood.
Bottom line: It's just not funny.
Dry (2015)
Horrible
Tis is noting more than one of those quota films that Hollywood makes. Costs nothing. They don't expect to make a lot of moany and it's filled with virtue signalling.
It also sucks.
It's a snooze fast that is insulting and poorly made.
Lennon's Last Weekend (2020)
Andy's Self Promoting Garbage Reveals NOTHING New.
I have no idea who Andy is but he's all over this doc as the lat-ish person to interview John. How does that make him an expert on anything?
It doesnt and you realize that withing 2 minutes of the film opening.
It's complatet garbage.
NOTHING whatsoever new in here. Filled with archive footage, drawings of the Dakota and you name it.
You've seen and heard this all before. Interspersed in all these clips is "andy's" interview. Nothing new there either.
I want my time back.
Happiness Adjacent (2018)
Dismal
I have an iPhone!
Let's make a movie.
Doesnt matter if you can't act.
Story? What story?
If I make it the lemmings will watch it.
The Freddie Mercury Tribute: Concert for AIDS Awareness (1992)
Not a Tribute Concert
What did I just watch?
A bunch of aging rockers doing hteir own songs. what kind of tribute is that?
It's basically Cocella. Interspersed woth clips of Freddie.
What a bore.
Detroit Driller Killer (2020)
Can't Top the Original
This is a home made movie at best. It should be shown to stoned friends who will say "Oh lookee here. Lil Jimmy made a movie,"
But Lil Jimmy shouldnt be encouraged because Lil Jimmy has no talent.
No one attached to this garbage is talented.
Don't bother wasting your time.
Star Wars Downunder (2013)
Well Done and Now Bankruptsy?
Directed by a guy named Michael Cox who pushed those who had interest to his web site which no longer exosts.
That's odd because this movie is pretty good for a fan film. I'm assuming he is a special effects guy and plinked down $10K Au to show folks what he can do.
Only e's never worked again. It's been 7 years. Wondering what the back story is because he's pretty talented.
Swallow (2019)
Don't Buy Into the Hype
This is one BORING movie. I only streamed it because of all the fake hype surrounding it.
The story sucks. It's not a horror movie. It's a drama. And a boring drama at that.
Poorly directed by a dude who is apparently a sloth.
The acting is miserable. All I can say is DO NO blieve the hype.