MIDDLEMYATT Reviews

Painkiller (2023)

Over-the-top on Opioids

[6/10 · 11 August 2023]

And otherwise earnest and compelling watch. However, Uzo Adoba, an accomplished theatrical actress, I hear, is as subtle and suitable in her approach to her leading role as a retractable saw's use when building a mini birdhouse. So over-the-top, so much heavy-handed, nuance-free acting going on with her.

Veteran Matthew Broderick , always a pleasure to watch, does his best with what he's given; the result is a one-dimensional villain bordering on Mr. Burns from the Simpsons--entertaining, nonetheless. And everyone else is fine.

The real-life testimonials (that appear at the start of each episode) of family members who've lost loved ones to the opioid crisis effectively reinforce the magnitude and human toll this thing has caused. And overall, though a retread of Dope Sick--one that struggles to find a workable tone, it's ultimately entertaining, worthy of your time, but each time Uzo appears on screen, hamming it up, it'll definitely try a viewer's patience.

God's Country (II) (2022)

Liberal Hogwash -- and this from a Liberal!

[3/10 · 22 September 2022]

Of course, the acting is on-point, but otherwise there's no movie here. Just an episodic showcase of Newton's stoic, one-dimensional character making one bad decision after another. A liberal message movie that says so little -- and I too am a liberal! This film underscores the intersectionality of stupidity, self-righteousness, dismissiveness of any value that isn't considered progressive, of and throw in some ennui for good measure too. To think I had high hopes enough to go out of my way to see this heavy-handed piece of misguided propaganda. Just leave the men alone and let 'em park on your outer-property; they ain't bothering nobody! Oh, but then, there would, literally, be no premise for this silly film. Be a good, kind, considerate neighbor--that would've nipped all the film's conflicts in the bud. But no, she needed a cause. And ruins her life and others' in the process. I was so bored--and I'd snuck in alcohol into the theater. Apparently not enough!

Without Remorse (II) (2021)

Without Remorse--but with Much Regret (for Watching this Stinker)!

[4/10 · 3 May 2021]

This mess chews up poor Michael B. Jordan and spits him out alive. Ultimately, there's nothing redeeming here to see, folks. The uninspired action, laughable dialog and lukewarm cast leaves a lot to be desired. Jodie Turner Smith is good, the best this project has to offer, but mainly, she's wasted. Michael B., by the way, he can't really act. Watching this sorry take on Tom Clancy's work brings that fact home. Again, I gotta stress: there's nothing to see here. Nothing fresh or worthwhile. Nothing you ain't never seen before (and yeah, the double-negative's deliberate).

Dad Stop Embarrassing Me! (2021)

Jamie, Stop Embarrassing Yourself!

[2/10 · 15 April 2021]

This show is trash. The writing is dated, heavy-handed, uninspired and dull. David Alan Grier, who is usually riotously funny and brilliant, is severely wasted here; not a single funny line or situation to enjoy from him here. The teen who plays the title daughter simply has no acting talent, no comic timing--and, I very much work ahead of her if she hopes to overcome this clunker and have a career of some kind in entertainment. The show is also contrived and ever reliant on its archaic laugh track--which seems appropriate, considering how tired and rehashed the show's jokes and premises are.

Jamie Foxx should be ashamed, but he probably isn't. The show reveals how he hasn't matured in the last few decades. It's a new age and time, and he's sorely out of touch. Only arrogance could convince him this trash was worthy of being aired.

First episode, I was in awe of how bad it was. Episode two got worse, as they attempted to tackle the daughter's lack of religious belief. Ultimately, I must say that Bible believers got the brunt of the episode's badness, though it's take on non-believers left lots to be desired as well. By episode three, my wife and I bailed. Life is too short to waste time on out-of-touch, shallow, immature performer's vanity sit-coms.

I highly recommend you skip this televised travesty!

Coming 2 America (2021)

Just Re-watch the Original!

[1/10 · 6 March 2021]

What a waste of Wesley Snipes, Morgan Freeman, Tracy Morgan, James Earl Jones, etc. So uninspired, unfunny, and ultimately unentertaining. All jokes fall flat, and the script is all over the place. So bad it borders on offensive. Nothing to see here; it's just a blatant cinematic money-grab. All hype, great costumes, and storylines that are all over the place -- but nothing comes together, nothing works in the end. Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time with this one; therein lies nothing redeeming. If you're as big a fan of the original as I am, I'd suggest skipping the sequel and watching the first. You'll be glad you did. Embarrassing.

Sylvie's Love (2020)

HATED SYLVIE'S LOVE

[2/10 · 10 January 2021]

Representation is important. I get that. And it's even more important nowadays. And uplift, too. That's important now, during such closed-in days, as well. But damn, can we just put our fixation on those things to the side for a moment, in order to speak honestly about how bad Sylvie's Love is?

First of all, it's anchored by Tessa Thompson. Plainly put, Tessa can't act, has no discernable talent, isn't sexy or appealing, and lacks charisma enough to be the romantic lead in anything. Most people don't know that Tessa's got a semi-famous father: It's Panamanian musician Marc Anthony Thompson; his alter ego is Chocolate Genius. I have a few of his albums; 1998's "Black Music" is perhaps the most accessible and engaging.

The only presence onscreen in this fiasco with less charisma than Tessa Thompson is male lead Nnamdi Asomugha. He's so one-note, singularly dimensioned, and expressionless that, in scenes they share, he almost makes you want to focus solely on Tessa (and I said "almost"). The two of them together on screen epitomizes the absence of romantic chemistry, despite the poorly written script's attempt to masquerade as a romance flick. Nothing, no emotion, Tessa attempts to bring to the surface rings true; it's always clear she's acting, self-consciously striving to do what she thinks actors do. Every response and reaction fails. Nnamdi, he's just flat, nothing.

The film looks good, wardrobes work, and the period is ultimately captured effectively, but the soundtrack doesn't work; it's a missed opportunity to highlight more of the period's Jazz, instead of easy, bubblegum pop tunes. Since he's a Jazz musician and she says she appreciates the genre, too, why not a balance of both? And this absurd notion the film puts forth about Jazz being dead, due to the onslaught of pop tunes like Stevie Wonder's "Fingertips"? That's just stupid. In fact, Jazz was so hot that Stevie Wonder even released his own Jazz album in the era (look for a 1968 release by Eivets Rednow's-it's Stevie's name spelled backwards). The dialogue is trite, stupid. Cliché. None of it is fresh or for real, and it swallows its weak leads whole. Ultimately, there's nothing new or worthwhile to see here-and for the discriminating film watcher, if you decide to sit through the mediocre project, you'll be very disappointed once it's done with.

Narco Hitman (2016)

So Boring!

[1/10 · 17 December 2020]

The art and title for this movie are both deceptive. It has no hits, no action, no violence. It is literally all dialogue, silly, implausible dialogue. The acting is mediocre at best, and the story is weak and ill-conceived. I kept watching, thinking it would get better, provide a payoff, justify its boredom by concluding with tremendous narco hitman action, but it never came. The film never produced. An utter waste of time. You'd do very well to avoid this dumb stinker!

Da 5 Bloods (2020)

"Sloppy and all over the place" ~ my Daughter/

[1/10 · 13 June 2020]

Spike has missed the boat again with this one! So, so bad. I write this as I'm two hours in, thoroughly convinced that it ain't getting any better. Poor script; in fact, an utterly empty script that does no justice to the real "Bloods" who lost their lives or left the best of their lives in the jungles of Vietnam. If I were to meet him, I'd ask, "Why, Spike. Just why?" The script is, again, so poorly written; it meanders and fails to ever find its focus and aim, engendering no reason to invest in the story nor the characters therein. The cast members are all great talents. However, they are tragically, criminally, wasted here. I was bored, my family too, by the thirty-minute mark, and it managed to even go further down hill from there. An utter waste of time. There is nothing, nothing redeeming about this disaster of a thrown-together film. Implausible and uninspired, it is, and I say all this as I true Spike Lee fan. Please, please, do yourself a favor and avoid this god-awful film! PLEASE! LIFE IS TOO SHORT!

5150 (2003)

The Worst Movie I've Seen In A Very Long Time!

[1/10 · 6 May 2011]

I got a copy of this at the 99 Cents Store. I will refrain from complaining about having paid too much for the dreadful, dreadful DVD, in an effort to possibly warn others against attempting to watch this poorly made film. Please do not be fooled by the cover; obviously, the cover artist had nothing to do with this project -- i.e., he or she appears to have some talent. Everyone else associated with the film undoubtedly does not -- this includes the lead actor (so dull, uncharismatic and unable to carry a film, you will inevitably wonder how he got the roll), the director (hope he never gets a chance to make another film again, amen -- yes, that was actually a prayer), and all the supporting actors (clearly, none of whom are actually real actors, just cousins, relative of someone; they all had some free time on their untalented hands). The story is stupid, convoluted and not worth the investment of interest. It looks bad -- very poorly shot, is poorly plotted -- to say the least, and feels as if it was written by an amateur screenwriter under the influence of some pretty serious drugs. Bad, bad, bad! And bad again! Please avoid this one, for your own good! This is, without exaggeration, the worst film I have seen in a very, very long time. And I should add, it is not bad simply because it had a low budget; that is forgivable, understandable even. It is bad because that budget, despite how minimal it was, was completely squandered on a sloppy, ultimately pitiful project. Very, very poorly done; everyone associated with this garbage should be ashamed of themselves. There is no excuse for a movie being this bad, this poorly done! It is so bad; it will make you angry for considering it. It should not be available on this site! Again, bad, bad, bad! (PLEASE NOTE: Any positive reviews you might see appear for this film are false and insincere -- they will no doubt be planted by people related to the project in some way. So do not heed them: Avoid this terrible, terrible Film!)

Neo Ned (2005)

A Pleasant Surprise!

[8/10 · 21 November 2010]

Wow! What a pleasant surprise! Don't let the neo-Nazi/Hitler/racist premise scare you off from enjoying a well-written and entertaining character study -- a really solid little piece of cinema. Great performances all around: Jeremy Renner's star is guaranteed to continue rising, as evident in his work as the troubled but likable Ned -- and even Gabrielle Union (who I usually find rather flat, predictable and ultimately uninteresting despite her prettiness) succeeds here as well. Union, thanks to the tight script and adept directing, perhaps puts in the best work of her career. And I agree with another reviewer's observation: there's great chemistry between the two leads, empowering the notion of their characters' profoundly unlikely romance. Overall, the film is at times dark, humorous, genuinely touching and never heavy-handed or unforgivably false. I consider Neo Ned a more insightful, true and telling treatise on racism in America than 2009's laughable and embarrassing The Blind Side. I highly recommend Neo Ned!

Gang Tapes (2001)

A Pleasant Little Surprise of a Film!

[7/10 · 24 July 2010]

Very steady-handed directing anchors this low-budget urban indie about a stolen, shakily-held camcorder. Surprisingly well-made and acted; solid, naturalistic performances all around, and not a missed emotional note or utterly implausible story spot to be found. Plot's really nothing new, just told from a somewhat refreshing point of view -- that of a teen male who finds himself in his community's vortex of violence, nihilism and despair and the incessant tensions that such an atmosphere breeds. I'd say the director achieved what he attempted to do quite well. And he's not too preachy or heavy-handed with the project's anti-gang message -- thus making it quite an effective and un-glamorized cinematic little sermon. It gets genuinely intense at times as a result of its ultra-realistic sheen and assured acting, and it's well-paced and never dull, even when character's are unleashed to tell their tales to the protagonist's camera at length. Overall, an enjoyable little movie, well-conceived, executed (no pun intended -- lot's of violent shootings), and again, very solidly acted for the genre. Don't expect much - you too will be presently surprised.

Charlie Murphy: I Will Not Apologize (2010 Video)

Well then, Charlie, perhaps Eddie or Chappelle will apologize on your behalf -- because an apology is indeed due!

[2/10 · 30 May 2010]

Ironically, an apology is exactly what Charlie Murphy owes anyone who watches this excruciatingly unfunny stand-up project. Murphy's material is stale and poorly-written; his timing and delivery is, to put it kindly, amateurish and off; and most disturbingly of all, Murphy fails -- big time -- to live up to the comic legacy and laugh-inducing expectations derived from his better-known little brother -- as well as his own well-deserved reputation as a hilarious cast member on the stellar "Chappelle's Show." I was saddened for the show's live audience members: they came out to the show earnestly expecting laughs from the man on stage, and he delivered none. Bottom line is: Murphy should stick to sketch projects and perhaps movies and such. But, its made blatantly clear with this troubling example: Charlie Murphy can't do stand-up! I challenge you to make it to the end of this project -- and if you do, inevitably, you'll feel disappointed and angry, frustrated for wasting 63 precious minutes of your life, and undoubtedly desirous of that aforementioned apology Murphy refuses to provide!

Maya's Soul (2006 Video)

Will Disappoint Christian Film Fans & Urban Film Fans Alike! Disappointment for Everybody!

[3/10 · 29 May 2010]

A well-meaning message movie, poorly executed, that's how I'd explain this unfortunate little feature. The acting is horrible. The storyline is heavy-handed but somewhat believable -- or rather, forgivable. The main actress, Nicholl Jones, has potential but simply needs a few more rounds of acting lessons and the guidance of a competent director, anyone but Conrad Glover -- who quite simply doesn't know what he's doing. Jaime Velez plays the homeless, mentally-ill character who befriends protagonist Maya; he is perhaps the worst thing in the movie. He is annoying. He is difficult to watch. His acting -- or lack thereof -- makes him difficult to believe and, ultimately, the most pressing reason not to rent this mess of a movie. Rashawn Underdue as the project's darkest character, a ruthless pimp, provides its brightest glimpse of a sound, well-executed performance. Underdue can act; his numerous IMDb credits indicate someone else agrees with me. I enjoyed watching him embody the role -- but still, his presence couldn't overshadow or engender forgiveness for the film's myriad sins. Expect no sensuality in this tale of whores and the men who exploit them. With lots of heavy profanity for a faith-centered film -- I had no problem with that. I took greater issue with its weakly-written spiritual politics: made no sense, had no point, and in turn missed the mark. Looks very, very low budget within its underutilized NYC setting, but really it's just low skills. Do yourself a favor and skip this one -- it really isn't worth it, nor is its message (of losing then rediscovering faith) conveyed effectively enough to redeem it. Not edgy enough for urban-themed film lovers; too profanity-filled (f-words, etc.) for Christian film fans -- and, overall, a disappointment for everybody! Many unintentionally funny moments, though.

Know Thy Enemy (2009)

No "know thy Enemy"

[1/10 · 12 September 2009]

Wow -- what to say: a laughably bad film! Poor performances (mainly from the lead character -- most others are okay), weak script, mediocre music, the usual clichés for the genre, corny dialog, dull and dragging storyline, amateurish cinematography, etc. My son and I had a good time laughing our way through this one; it's funny for all the wrong reason. My theory about such projects is this: an audience is willing to overlook a low-budget effort (such as this one), as long as the film's script and the acting is tight (unlike this one). You'll inevitably question how the lead actor was chosen for the part -- did somebody owe him money, big time!!! I'll conclude by saying something positive: the film is well-intentioned -- no doubt all those involved meant well, despite how overwhelmingly inept they were in every possible way. I'd skip this one if I were you.

McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971)

My Favorite Western!

[10/10 · 19 November 2008]

It's Altman at his best, with a cast that clearly believed in him and relished the opportunity to be directed by him. This movie is as close to cinematic poetry as you're ever gonna get. Altman demonstrates his gift and mastery at mood, texture and tone, while skillfully adding rich layers of nuance and wit to this somewhat simple tale of a complex man -- or is McCabe a simple man in a complex tale? Beatty and Christie are nothing less than inspirational, and Carradine makes me cry (his earnest commitment the character and the haunting believability that results should be studied by every wannabe actor seeking the true goods). Such confident, restrained, detailed and thus moving film-making from an American master -- Altman never made a more beautiful film. Oh, to have been at least a background player in this experience (for Altman even approached their roles with a thoroughness that adds to the piece's overall realism and sense of actual community); a dream job for any performer. And Cohen's music works wonders with the film's atmosphere; I can't think of anyone else who could've pulled it off more compatibly -- Neil Young maybe? Willie Nelson? Overall, I can't say enough about this one. I watch it each year, and it never fails to enhance my love for it in new ways every time.

The Bridge (I) (2006)

An interesting and disturbing project....

[6/10 · 29 September 2007]

An interesting and insightful documentary on a great subject -- one wonders why no one had done it sooner. However, it suffers overall from too many talking heads (family members and friends of victims) who are basically saying the same things. We awaited information on just how the jump affects jumpers' bodies -- medical and technical-type information that would've been interesting, but never came. Great imagery of the bridge and the waters below. Footage of the various jumpers is nothing less than haunting -- and very disturbing for several reasons. Could've/should've been much tighter overall -- but a compelling experience nonetheless.

Welcome Home Brother Charles (1975)

Don't Waste Your Time...

[1/10 · 23 September 2007]

Don't believe the hype! This film is boring and dull as dirt. I love films of this period/genre, but this one has no redeeming value. If you're simply waiting to see the infamous "prop" -- you're in for a disappointment: it appears (only once!) during the final five minutes of the film, and even then it's non-eventful and (excuse the pun) anti-climactic. The story is poorly conceived, written and executed, and overall the film brings nothing new or fresh to the table for this type of film. Trust me, you've seen it all before in much better films of the period. This dull and dated dud isn't worth your time -- avoid it at all costs! Check out the director's under-rated and almost ignored gem, "Black Sister's Revenge" instead -- it'll surprise you.

Poetic Justice (1993)

Not Singleton's Finest Moment, But Still Worth Watching

[5/10 · 6 July 2007]

It's clear what Singleton attempted to do with this one, and I'd say it was a noble effort. Of course the script could've been tighter and the climax stronger and more rewarding, thus resulting in a more worthwhile film. However, in the film's defense, the charismatic Tupac shines while convincingly helming the sole well-conceived role. He's the best reason -- perhaps the only reason -- viewers should join in on the film's road trip to Oakland. He's subtle but confident, forceful but not heavy-handed, complex but genuine -- all the things that have also made him a legendary (and sorely missed) rapper. On the other hand, regarding Ms. Jackson... Well, I'll attempt to simply and kindly take the high road and say she probably shouldn't attempt to act again (unless she takes some drama classes). Janet simply doesn't get it. She doesn't understand the craft. She "acts" throughout the entire movie, something a skilled and experienced performer would never be caught doing. Perhaps Singleton was just too smitten with her to inform her that performing requires more than just emoting and script recitation. I understand that fans of Janet's music will invariably take issue with my comments, but if they'd simply separate her on-screen skills from her (heavily studio-enhanced) musical skills, I believe they'd have to agree with me. And it doesn't help that Janet's character (Justice) isn't a well-written, fully-developed and focused role; that's Singleton's fault -- not Janet's. Also, in the movie, fans of Maya Angelou will enjoy her cameo and the verses she wrote for Janet's character, a poet. And the fan(s) of Regina King will appreciate the challenging, range-revealing character stretch she takes on: she portrays a sassy, shallow, one-dimensional young lady with an attitude (that's something we've never seen her play before). Overall, Poetic Justice isn't one of Sigleton's finest moments, but again, revisiting Tupac's performance makes it entertaining and somewhat worthwhile.

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints (2006)

Don't be Fooled by the Flattering Reviews....

[3/10 · 22 June 2007]

Most of the reviewers must be homesick New Yorkers, nostalgically longing for the "good ol' days." If you're looking for a fresh and original NY coming-of-age tale, you should avoid this film. You've seen it all before, done more effectively, with less gimmick, more focus and less heavy-handed attempts at coming off hip/stylish in its direction. It seems to have very little regard for its subjects; they're simply drawn as rejects from a Scorsese film. Clearly the writer has very little regard for the folks he left behind in his depressing little racist, heated, overly-sexed neighborhood. All the major talent is wasted (Palminteri, Dawson, Wiest, Downey), and the story is so predictable that, like me, you may be fooled into staying tuned in anticipation of a new twist that would justify the story being told, the film being made. Also, I ain't no prude, but I am insulted when a film attempts to supplement its many deficiencies with too many F-words, graphic and gratuitous sex references, and casual racial slurs. Overall, the film is loud, overbearing and offensive. An old story, told in an annoying way. Guaranteed to leave a bad taste in your mouth. Rent Mean Streets, A Bronx Tale, or even The Basketball Diaries instead.

Crossover (2006)

So Bad It's Good!

[1/10 · 21 March 2007]

My kids and I enjoyed this dreadful exercise in predictability and bad acting for all the wrong reasons: We playfully wagered on what actors would say next (and I use that word "actors" very loosely). It's full of clichés of all kinds. We would rewind and laugh at the scenes containing Eva Pigford's unbelievably horrid acting (please, for God's sake, stick to simply being a model!). We'd pretend to be menaced and afraid by appearances of that definitive "hood" slick guy, aka Wayne Brady ("New Jack City's" Nino Brown has got nothing on him!!!). And we were amused at how surprisingly weak the basketball scenes were. The on-the-court scenes contained lots of edits and cut-aways that marked staged shots. And for a movie about b'ball, the court scenes were extremely minimal and unexciting. On a serious note, please observe this theory of mine if you rent this film (for God's sake don't buy it): Sometimes, being surrounded by bad actors and faced with a bad script can even make a good actor bad. Case in point, Anthony Mackie. He's clearly got skills, but he had no business being in this foul of a film! This movie surely falls under the "So bad it's good" banner. If you rent it expecting anything else, you will surely be disappointed.

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005)

Ultimately disappointing

[5/10 · 11 October 2006]

I wanted to jump on the bandwagon and say I liked this critical favorite, but come on, Tommy Lee, give us a lil' something more to work with here. Both Jones and Pepper -- as well as all in the supporting cast -- are strong in this under-written, scattered and confused little wannabe morality tale. Jones' character lacks the necessary dimension to make him fully convincing, and his friendship with the title character isn't shown developing enough to justify the actions Jones' character undertakes on his behalf. And the film is also unjustifiably grotesque -- to the point of almost being comical and/or offensive. Also, this film's denouement is guaranteed to have you scratching your head, wondering if you missed something. Guaranteed. Solid directing from Jones, but again, its downfall is the screenplay and its many shortcomings, oversights, and ill-conceived and poorly-realized ideas. See something like John Sayles' "Men With Guns" instead.

Lackawanna Blues (2005 TV Movie)

Unfortunately, speaks to a larger issue...

[1/10 · 29 March 2006]

I was being kind by giving this poorly-written film 2 stars: I thought the writing lacked focus, freshness and originality. Characters, such as Lou Gossett's, were introduced and then abandoned for the most part. And there was no true sense of cohesion between any of them. Also, quite a few clichés abound, and they were all hard to get around; they'd all been seen before in other, better, films within this genre. The dialogue was, at times, painful and predictable. Some of the acting, such as the main character kid's and the over-the-top Macy Gray's, left much to be desired. The fine actress portraying "Nanny" did a noble job at making the best of the inferior material that was laid out before her -- as did the ever-excellent Jeffrey Wright, who, in my humble opinion, was the best thing in the film -- despite a rather abbreviated appearance. Terrence Howard and Saul Williams and Delroy Lindo were all solid as well. Overall, I believe all the (rather unwarranted) positive reviews this film received speaks to a larger, more pressing issue: the profound desire of African Americans, like myself, to see their images on screen as multi-dimensional, complex, positive, non-buffoonish clowns or criminal, in uplifting and inspiring stories that truly capture the nuances that define our unique experiences in this world.

Crazy Six (1997 Video)

When Bad Movies Happen To Good People!

[1/10 · 12 June 2005]

I'm actually too drained to write this review -- bad movies always do that to me -- but I feel obligated, as if it's my civic duty, to warn anyone who might be considering purchasing or viewing this god-awful mess-of-a-picture. Please, please, just take my word: this is one you'll want to stay away from. It's so boring and dull, so insipid and uninspired, such a poor excuse to assemble any familiar talent. Burt Reynolds? Wasted (despite his best efforts). Ice-T is barely in the film, and when he does appear on screen his performance is so restrained and muted that it becomes crystal clear that the director, perhaps intimidated by Ice's intense stare, didn't know what to do with him. Rob Lowe, as the title character, has never displayed so little on-screen charisma. Mario Van Peebles should be ashamed of himself; his performance is, in the saddest sense possible, a joke. Surely, Satan himself signed Mario's check for this film. The plot is as weak, half-baked and annoying as all the music involved (the utterly boring club song seems to continue on, literally, for the first third of the movie). The film's look will prompt one to seriously wonder if the Director of Photography was also forced, like one of the film's forgettable female characters, to smoke crack from a pipe duct-taped to his mouth. And if you're looking, at least, for stylized, shoot-'em-up-type violence you'll get none here. This film, I assure you, I promise you, has Absolutely no redeeming qualities! Please, I implore you, Avoid this Flick! Don't put it in and get suckered into believing that its pace will pick up, it'll get better, and evolve into a decent denouement. It won't. It don't. It can't! It sucks! Now, you have been warned, and I can now go to bed (It's 3am - please forgive any resulting errors this admonition might contain) -- knowing my conscience is clear, because I've done my civic duty for my fellow man!