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Portals (2019)
4/10
A huge disappointment and boring as hell.
25 November 2019
I was really anticipating this movie. Everything I saw looked right up my alley, and those in the creative credits have made some of my favorite horror films of the last few years. But this movie was just a huge no from start to finish. It's thematically cohesive, for the most part, but the premise could have led to so much more and it just didn't get close to the greatness I anticipated. The acting was barely serviceable for the most part, but the stories were just boring and took way too long to get anywhere. It was like watching something from a low budget studio. I just don't understand how the people responsible for this movie didn't see just how basic it ultimately turned out.

I just have no faith left in Bloody Disgusting films anymore. They have proven that although they know a lot about horror movies, they just can't make a good one to save their lives.
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Mortel (2019– )
8/10
I binged watched the whole season.....
22 November 2019
And I loved every minute of it! Everything from the acting to the subdued use of special effects, the entire production overflowed with creativity and nuance, made by a team of people who actually cared about the story they were attempting to tell. French language programming has been hitting it out of the park lately, and I really appreciate just how many risks are being taken with these types of series. Overall, an extremely well done show that anyone with a passing interesting in good television should watch.

Highly recommended!
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9/10
A great movie with an amazing ending! Highly recommended!
11 November 2019
This movie was a complete and total surprise. While the trailer was pretty well done and set the scene for the entire film, the end product was so well done, I really am shocked to see movies like this relegated to streaming. Everything from the direction to the acting was top notch, but it was the special effects took the stage and really brought this movie to the next level. Using a mix of CGI and practical effects, the film really does an amazing job of creating an effective and well realized universe.

I haven't been entertained by a possession film in years. This is the first one in a long time that was so expertly executed, that it deserves to reach as wide and audience as possible. If you enjoy well done films that are visually striking, then this is the movie for you! Plus, the ending is one of the best endings I have seen in a Western film in a long time. Truly masterful work, everyone involved should be commended on doing an amazing job!

A truly entertaining and well made film in every respect. It deserves high praise and any horror fan should give it a watch.
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3/10
Absolutely horrible. One of the worst movies I've seen all year.
26 October 2019
The trailer really tricked me. It made me believe that this movie was going to be well written, well acted and scary. Man, was I terribly, horribly wrong. It was like watching a he worst episode of an HGTV show; the whole movie is comprised of a thin lipped man trying to renovate an ugly house. But the house keeps dripping snot and black Gak everywhere, and there is a neighbor that just won't leave him alone.

Seriously, this movie was bad. It wasn't even in the so bad, it was good category. It wasn't scary, it wasn't particularly well acted, and the story has been told much better dozens of times before. It was so poorly executed, that insane considers turning it off with 20 minutes left until the end. But I persevered, just to see the train wreck burn a little longer, and I wasn't disappointed.

One of the worst sacks of garbage I have ever had the displeasure of watching. Do not even watch it if it's free on cable. Erase this movie and those of this movie from your kind and never speak of it again.
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Child's Play (2019)
2/10
An embarasment of an almost impressive calibre, but it sure was funny!
26 September 2019
The original Child's Play stands as one of the few horror movies of my childhood that didn't need a remake. But if you had to remake it, why did you have to deviate so far from the source material? Instead of an occult practicing criminal possessing a doll, you make it so that a software engineer programs a modern doll to murder and kill? I mean, it just doesn't get worse than that. So many things went so spectacularly wrong in this movie, but the worst of it all was Chucky himself. He was hideous. A horribly designed mess of a doll that no one in their right mind would ever buy for their child, made worse by his horribly executed visual design that indicates that the people responsible for that mess had never watched the original nor have they ever taken an art class in their lives. It was so bad, that I wondered how it got through focus testing. No one brought up how offensively bad the dolls design was? How it wasn't scary, creepy or eerie but just plain bad? It was a bad fan art of chucky done by someone with very little talent.

The movie was not scary and I spent the majority of it laughing. There were very few likeable characters, and most of the children were insufferable and annoying. There were a lot of bizarre decisions made in the script that not only lacked plausibility, but also made me question whether anyone involved in the movie even bothered to watch the original. What's the point of remaking a film if you are just going to throw away everything good about the original film?

This movie was an embarrassment, for the writers, the directors, the cast, and the unfortunate team that was chosen to redesign and completely destroy Chucky. The only movie this serves to entertain are millennial who already have dubious taste to begin with. It's just a poorly made travesty that has no place in modern cinema.

it was hilarious, though. I gave it 2 stars for being so funny!
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3/10
Another horrible entry in a horrible series
19 September 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This movie was garbage. Plain and simple. Horror by committee, it was made for young kids and teenagers, the easily entertained, and those that have zero taste in movies and need something to fill the void. The acting was serviceable, but it was the only redeemable quality about this otherwise travesty of a movie. Everything about it was just bad, from the special effects to the script, and you can easily tell that this movie was made with very little love or respect for its audience. It was made to fill a hollow slot in a movie release schedule.

Lastly, I absolutely despise horror movies with happy endings. Why would anyone go back to a house where such horrible things happened to you? It really irks me to no end that American audiences put up with this garbage. Horror is not to make you feel better about yourself. It's to make you feel despair and sadness. This type of "everyone survives and had a party at the end" horror movies are the worst of the absolute worst and deserve no one's time or money.

Please do not support this trash film making. It's an embarrassment and a completely disrespect to the genre. I am utterly disgusted that I watched this movie until the end, but I'm hoping I will save some of you from having to suffer the same as I did. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME ON THIS MOVIE!!!
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Us (II) (2019)
5/10
Average film with some great acting
26 March 2019
I am not a fan of Jordan Peele, so I didn't go into this movie expecting anything amazing or gente defining. What I got was a serviceable suspense movie that had some well done cinematography and some convincing acting by the main cast. The film itself did nothing new or unique, and I've felt like I've seen this same story told so many times, that even the ending was cliche and expected. What it felt like was an overly long Twilight Zone episode that had some ham fisted imagery and allegory, but didn't quite know the best way to present it.

Overal, I don't realky have much to say about the film. It wasn't scary, it was original, and it was somewhat cliched. But did I enjoy it anyway? I can't say that I did. It was just meh to me, to be perfectly honest. I didn't think about it much after it was over, and if I find a movie to be that forgettable, it must not have been as good as people were making it out to be.

An average film overall, stay for the acting and the cinematography.
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Holiday (I) (2018)
3/10
A boring, tedious piece of feminist-sploitation. Really, this was lame....
7 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I was looking though a list of the best foreign horror films of 2018. You had the typical fare, movies about demons and hauntings, and then I came across the description for this movie. I went in without seeing the trailer and I prepared myself for a really disturbing film.

Then I waited.

and waited.

And waited.

Nothing happened for 50 some-odd minutes. Seriously, some domestic violence, a young "sugar baby" taking advantage of her daddy, unattractive pale, tan-less people being obnoxious and rude. It was like watching an European family movie. Just tedious, boring stuff. But at that 50 minute mark, you get a full on porn-style sex scene that lasts maybe 3 minutes, but it's unsimulated and really not that shocking, considering hwo easy it is for anyone to access porn these days. Anyone who has watched a porno movie in the last, oh I don't know, 30 YEARS has seen a scene like that in some way, shape or form. The sad part is that a woman would debase herself in such a way to not have to work a day in her life says a lot more about her than it would ever say about him.

We get more boring, obnoxious people, and some more domestic violence for about another 20 minutes.

Then finale has a scene that genuinely shocked me, and the movie was over.

So, here's what you get with this "movie";

First 50 minutes- Boring, trite and tedious. Really, everyone is insufferable.

Minute 50 - minute 55- "Shocking" rape scene that is just a truncated porn scene

1 hour- 1 hour, Ten minutes- "Shocking" scene

The end.

It's just not worth it, folks. It really isn't. It doesn't work as a piece of "female empowerment", it doesn't work as a piece of entertainment, and it certainly doesn't work as anything other than what it is; a lame attaempt to shock audiences in the #metoo era. Avoid this movie and let's never speak of it again. Truly awful and repugnant, but not for the reasons you have been told it is.
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Piercing (2018)
5/10
Didn't work for me. At all.
21 January 2019
The novel by Ryu Murakami was billed as being a shocking work of horror, reminiscent of his horror masterpiece, Audition. I thought that by watching the film, I would get an idea of what the story in the book might entail. This movie, however, was not scary and it was not anywhere near the brilliance of Audition. It was a stylish modernized neo-noir thriller, disguised as a character study, disguised as a horror movie. This movie has no solid identity, and to call it a straight horror film would be incorrect, just like calling it a thriller would also be. What it is is a movie that tries to do many things, but the only thing it succeeds in being is being pretty. Personified, this movie is like a runway model who has no other talents. Very nice to look at...but that's it.

We have the lead, who is as unlikable a character as you can get. We barely have to time to get to know him, and I immediately disliked everything about him. He's mousy, frail and weak; everything a leading man shouldn't be. He has a dangerous fetish, and is trying to go through with it by using a call girl.

The call girl is as crazy as you expect, but she is also unlikable. She is also mousy and frail, looking as if she would tip over if you breathed on her. She has no redeemable qualities, and makes you not really care about her disposition.

Side characters are not given enough screen time to matter, and flashbacks don't have the impact they would have if you cared about anyone in the movie. I would liken watching this movie like sitting through a home movie of a group of people I disliked. I struggled to care, I was a bit shocked at what was going on, but in the end I was left with a resounding, "That's it? MEH!", which a movie should NEVER do.

The Japanese language has many nuances that don't really translate well to English. This is probably why there hasn't been a truly exceptional American film that was made from a work of Japanese literature. I am going to read the novel to see how it holds up to the film, and I really hope that it is nothing like this movie.

I was looking forward to the follow up of one of my favorite horror movies, "The Eyes of My Mother'. I could not be more disappointed.

What a shame.
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Bird Box (2018)
8/10
Better than "A Quiet Place" in every possible way
17 December 2018
If you though "A Quiet Place was suspenseful, you haven't seen anything until you watch Bird Box. A port-apocalyptic movie made for adults, it tells a story that pulls no punches. It doesn't try to hold your hand and tell you that everything will be okay. It shows you how the slightest mistake will cause someone to die, and it doesn't shy away from showing you the aftermath. It's visceral, it's violent and it's distirbing, the way the end of the world should be. My main problem with "A Quiet Place" was that it was too tame and catered to a sensitive audience that can't take any serious events in their movies. Bird Box was made for an adult audience, as everything about it is more mature, the stakes are higher, and the enemy is much more dangerous.

If you liked "A Quiet Place", but felt that it was made for a teen audience and could have been much better, then you will love Bird Box. It's like they took the movies "Blindness", "The Mist" and "28 Days Later" and made the best baby they could possibly make. Highly reccomended. You won't regret it.
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Aterrados (2017)
9/10
Original, unique and absolutely the real deal. This is horror to the max, folks!
16 December 2018
I went in with high expectations, as well I should; Latin America has been producing some of the most original, top-notch horror films in years. I knew Argentina had it in them to come up with something impressive, but I didn't think it was going to completely blow everything else out of the water. This movie is the real deal, people; it's original, it's uncomfortable, it's disturbing, and most of all, it's a legit SCARY HORROR MOVIE!

Imagine if The Conjuring, Hereditary and Paranormal Activity 1 had a baby. It would be this film. From the opening scene, you know that you were in for something special. The acting, the music, the sounds all culminated into something sinister, skin crawling, disturbing. Like watching a car accident happen right before your eyes. The first 10 minutes alone of this movie are enough to make most American horror movies pale in comparison.

Everything about this movie is of the highest caliber; The acting, the special effects, the cinematography, the directorial style, the script, the pacing, ect. I mean, it just doesn't get any better than this. I watched it with my jaw on the floor, and I'm still kind of looking behind my back in my room as I am typing this. Some of the things in this movie will give me bad dreams for days.

Okay, I know you all hear it all the time; "This movie was so scary!" but it's always subjective, and it's always based on very simplified and basic horror terms. This film is like an amalgam of everything that a person might find horrifying, and it plays out like an anthology, where all of the stories bleed into one another. I mean, this is just some impressive, high level work.

Well, I can't sing praises high enough for this movie. Everything about it just works, and the fact that it is almost objectively scary makes it a winner, as far as I'm concerned. It took almost the whole year, but I finally found the scariest movie of 2018. It's about time!
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3/10
It started off so well.... and then devolved in a silly, embarrassing mess
10 October 2018
This movie was a complete and utter failure. Let me get that out of the way, because nothing else I will say could truly describe just how awful this movie was. Don't get me wrong, the first half of the movie sets it up to be like a twisted and graphic Twilight Zone episode; it has that creepy atmosphere of the best of that show, and I was really looking forward to how it all wrapped up.

The second half of the movie had to be one of the most drastic nose dives I have ever seen in a movie. It goes from an interesting horror movie, and ends up some c-grade sci-fi garbage that wouldn't even be shown on Sy-Fy, and they are notorious for having the worst possible movies imaginable.

If you were like me and expected a grown up horror film, this is not it. The trailer let me to believe that this was going to be an interesting horror experience, but what I got was a budget Sci-Fi movie with a lot of overacting and some embarrassing practical effects.

Don't even bother giving this movie a watch. It's just not worth it, not even if you are curious.
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Blood Fest (2018)
4/10
The kids were awesome...the movie? Not so much.
5 September 2018
I was so looking forward to this movie after seeing such entertaining films as "HellHouse LLC" and "Escape Room", but this movie was just a huge waste of potential. Riddled with low budget and low effort special effects, this really came off as a student project of some sort, and nothing looked realistic enougfh to be considered "scary". Everything looked obviously fake, so much so that, you could easily see where the actors were replaced with mannequins and it just ruined the entire film for me. The script was asinine, the adult actors were hammy and horribly untalented, and the movie is only fun when the kids are around. It's just so unfortunate.

But man, those kids were so talented, so dynamic, so convincing. I was so impressed by the 3 child leads and their ability to carry the film on their own. They took a garbage script and worked with it, and pulled out all of the stop to convince the audience that they cared. The young girl, specifically, has such a bright future ahead of her with those acting chops. It's like she was born to be on camera. My favorite character, the young Filipino boy, really made me smile every time he showed up. Such a lovable and entertaining character.

This movie was a huge wasted potential; what could have been an entertaining film full of carnage turned out to be a sophomiric romp were the kids outshined the adult actors every step of the way. It almost makes you wonder how much more entertaining teh film might have been if they had hired adult actors that could actually act? Boggles the mind.

Don't see this movie if you lack patience for crappy acting. It's not teh worst hour and half you could spend watching a movie, but when that in itself is a compliment, you know that the movie really isn't meant for anyone.
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Summer of 84 (2018)
9/10
One of the best coming of age mysteries I ahve seen in along time...that ENDING!!!!
27 August 2018
So, a lot of people are comparing this movie to Stranger Things, but they are wrong in almost every regard. While Stranger Thing is a sci-fi adventure rooted in fantasy and unrealistic fiction, this film is as realistic as any news story. It seems like the comparisons come from the 80's soundtrack and the fact that it was 4 young boys on an adventure, but that's where the similarities end. This movie is more along the lines of films like The Goonies or Stand by Me; movies about young men who are taught harsh things about life at an early and fragile age. While Stranger Things was for children, this movie is clearly aimed at a much more mature and discerning audience.

The first two act of this film are pretty straight forward and standard; 4 young and immature boys suspect their neighbor of being a serial killer. They break into his house, dig up his garden, ect. in order to find proof of his horrifying acts. But nothing really comes of it, at least nothing concrete. The movie is funny, suspenseful and entertaining, and it reminds you of the kids mysteries that were all the rage in the late 80's.

Then, in the final act, the film suddenly makes an 180 and it becomes a serious film with real horror, real stakes and real consequences. Just like real life, the story doesn't end just because you hope it does. Good people are often the victims of their good intentions, and this movie proves it.

While the first half of the movie is just an enjoyable coming of age film, the second half is what really sets this movie apart. It's endings like these that make a movie really shine, and separates the audience that always wants a happy ending versus the ones that want a better, more realistic one.

Stop judging this movie based on a trailer. It's wrong and idiotic. A movie should be judged on its entire running time, and this movie deserves nothing but the highest praise. Everyone involved should be proud of their work. Amazing.
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Upgrade (2018)
9/10
An almost perfect film. I haven't been this entertained by a movie in months.
17 August 2018
I have to admit, I had very little faith in this movie. Blumhouse and its affiliates make some horrible movies, especially in the horror genre, and I expected this to be another "all audiences" horror offering. This movie, however, was anything but, and I have to say, I couldn't find a single thing to criticize about it. The acting was great, the special effects were amazing, the action scenes were intense and dealt with mostly hand-to-hand combat instead of weaponry. It was just an overall entertaining movie that I would recommend everyone to see.

When I think about popcorn films, films that are just there to entertain, I also want one that keeps me guessing and on my toes throughout. That's how you keep me from being bored. The story in this movie was well thought out, with a super tight scripts, and every single actor gave it their all, even the voice of STEM.

I am so happy that I gave this movie a chance. I hope that the creative team behind it are given many more opportunities to bless cinema with their efforts. An amazing achievement as both an action movie, and as a sci-fi film. You really are in for a treat!

Oh, the ending was awesome. Just, absolutely awesome.
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The Square (2017)
3/10
Awful, pretentious and inane. All 2 hours and 30 minutes of it.
16 August 2018
I enjoy arthouse films, and I really enjoy films about art. But not when they yield whatever this "movie" was. This film was the guy-in-Starbucks-on-his-macbook-sipping-his-$8-latte-while-checking-his-iPhone X-posting-about-the-horrors-of-capitalism levels of pretentious. I am just in awe at how this passed screenings and people didn't exclaim, "What the hell was that even about?".

The first half of the film is amusing, although every single character was unlikable and overbearingly annoying. They all exuded levels of narcissism and superiority that make it really hard to invest in what they were doing. Modern art is hit-or-miss, at best, and all of the "Art" shown in this movie was a huge miss. But you wouldn't know it from the way these talent-less hacks would rave about the most mundane looking pieces that any Renaissance artist was laugh at.

Unfortunately, the second half of the film falls of a cliff and nosedives into the jagged rocks below. After a horrible and hilarious cringey live performance, the movie devolves into people looking intently at their phones, making garbled conversation, and just being painfully boring. Seriously, I have seen some boring movies in my time, but this film really takes the cake in that NOTHING OF INTEREST OR ARTISTIC VALUE GOES ON FOR MOST OF IT!!! I' m sorry for the yelling, but in truth, anyone who says that they are "affected" or "touched" by this is delusional, and is simply hoping that others see them the way they see themselves. This movie is made for people that don't enjoy movies themselves, but enjoy talking about movies in a bid to appear intellectual.

Overall, I wouldn't recommend this film to anyone. It just isn't special, it isn't that funny, and at 2 hours at 30 minutes, it overstays it's welcome by at least 1 hour and 15 minutes. Don't sit through this and groan in embarrassment for most of it like I did. It's just not worth it.
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Downhill (I) (2016)
7/10
A fun movie with an amazing ending. Some people are being overly critical.
13 August 2018
The movie is a typical popcorn horror flick that isn't really doing anything new. Everything about it is average, from the acting to the special effects, but it all culminates into a highly entertaining film that shouldn't be dissected or over analyzed like some people reviewing it have been doing. It's a simple premise with a simple script, a b & C grade cast, and some competent special effects. But to act like this is such a horrible film is hyperbole at best and an indication that not everyone should be reviewing movies. Stop treating these movies as if they are supposed to be life altering experiences, and enjoy them for what they are; teh equivalent of reality TV, just condensed to an hour and a half.

With all that being said, the ending was SPECTACULAR. It's endings like that that make me glad to be a fan of the horror genre. To me, it more than made up for anything I found average in the film as a whole.

Go in expecting Shakespeare and you will be disappointed. Set your expectations accordingly, for the genre, and just have a good time. It's really that simple.
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Noctem (2017)
3/10
Screaming, yelling, nothing happens, more screaming, more yelling
30 July 2018
This movie is the worst kind of found-footage film; you can tell that the creative team wanted to save as much money as possible, so they skimped on everything from the special effects, to even the work that was supposed to be done in post. The acting is serviceable, for the most part, but the cast (especially the males) are so annoying, you just want them to disappear. The story has been done before, so their is nothing to write about that, but the execution is so poorly and shoddily done, I am really surprised anyone gave funding to complete this. I would have asked for my money back and shelved the project, never to see the light of day. It just doesn't do anything good enough to warrant even a curious viewing. Avoid it and forget it. It's just bad in every possible way.,
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Blood Feast (2016)
2/10
Horrible. One of the worst pieces of garbage I have ever seen.
30 July 2018
I've seen some terrible movies in my lifetime, and this one is no different. Talent-less actors, weak special effects, the movie takes forever to get going and when it does it looks like a bad porn film. Really, this movie is just terrible and everyone involved should be embarrassed. Tragic film making at its worst.
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3/10
Heavy breathing, flashlights and shadows is all that this movie has to offer
26 May 2018
I love found-footage films, but I have got to admit that there are more failures than successes when you refer to the genre. For every Grave Encounters and Paranormal Activity, there are movies that are made with too little a budget, not enough talent, and a complete disregard for the audiences time and patience. Boots on the Ground is one of those movies. One of the worst offenders in recent memory, this movie just does not do anything worth spending your time on.

The premise, while unique, is marred by a weak script with some truly banal dialogue, and I swear that the entire movie spends more time suggesting that there is something in the shadows than actually showing anything. With a more talented team, it might have worked, but when your main antagonist are shadows, it does nothing to illicit fear in the viewer.

This movie is wasted potential, and it's why I am so disappointed with it. It could have been a truly unique FF film, in that there are almost no military themed movies in the genre. Instead, we get another "horror on a budget", and we all know that you have to be an exceptional talent to make that work. It's a shame no one involved in this movie got the memo.
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Tag (2015)
4/10
Japan makes weird movies. Some are good. This one isn't.
22 May 2018
Japan, such a wonderful country with a rich history, makes some of the most absurdist movies on the planet. There are some movies so wild you start to think, "What magical drugs do they have there that causes people to come up with this stuff?". While some of the movies are creative and entertaining, being weird for weird's sake isn't always a good thing. That's where TAG comes in. It's weird, but not in a good way. Let me explain....

The movie starts out AMAZINGLY. Girl is on a field trip, riding a bus with her classmates, when an invisible force slices the bus in half laterally, taking the lives of everyone on it except the main character. This happens in the first 10 minutes of the movie. The level of gore and depravity involved in this is commendable and I thought, "This movie is going to be great!" A movie about an invisible force that slices everything it comes across in half, leaving blood and gore in its wake? This is going to be an awesome movie! Man, was I WRONG. The invisible force was around for those 10 minutes and it never shows up again. Instead, we get a series of "alternate universes", each weirder than the next. There are only females in this movie, so everything that happens comes off as a middle school kids daydream playbook.

Panty shots of High School aged girls? Check. Women in scantily clad underwear? Check. Girls fighting each other and killing each other in brutal ways? Check. A dude in a pig mask? Check

It's like a child was asked "What type of movie to do you want to see?" and he answered, "Girls! Panties! Underwear! Fighting! Pig man!" and someone said, "We can make a movie out of that!". Absolutely tragic that someone thought that this would be appropriate for a feature length film, but here we are.

It's to serious to be a comedy, not scary enough to be a horror film, not sad enough to be a drama, and definitely not enjoyable enough to be a full movie, so what gives? It's absurdist cinema with a low budget and not enough creative reigning in. This movie needed quality control, it desperately needed and editor, and it most assuredly needed to be screened a lot before it was released. There is no audience in the world that would find this movie enjoyable as a whole, although certain parts are so wild that they almost make up for the failure that is the rest of the film.

Look, I love absurdist cinema and I would enjoy it more if it tried to be absurdist. Instead, we get a movie that IS absurdist, but takes itself WAYYYY too seriously. I wouldn't recommend this movie to ANYONE, except those that want to test their patience for weird, drug-induced nonsense.
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Let Her Out (2016)
3/10
What a horribly paced and horrible acted pile of garbage. AVOID!
22 May 2018
I try so hard to give movies the benefit of the doubt, I really do. But movies like these just test my patience by failing in almost every possible regard. Everything from the grade school script and amateur directorial style, to the stulted and hilarious "acting" and poor pacing make this movie an absolute chore to get through. But what exactly happened?

Not a single person involved in this stopped to ask themselves, "Is this movie actually good?" or "Is what we are making entertaining?". I bet not a single person in that production company could be certain of the answers to either of those questions. So of course we end up with such an anemic script, such poor pacing, and such laughable acting. It's like there was no quality control.

The movie wasn't scary for the first hour or so, and then it was a bit entertaining and then it ended. It was a horror movie for a solid 10 minutes and then it was over. The rest was filler, decent gore that was hidden by poor angles, and a lot of fake blood splattered all over the place. But that alone does not a horror movie make. It just goes to show that some people really view the horror genre as the dumping grounds for the worst that cinema has to offer, and it's really a shame.

Aside for some bang up special effects work and some quality blood splatter, this movie was pointless, boring and tame (even when you consider just how graphic some of it is). These people need to learn that when you make a movie like this, you either go big or go home. Cut someone's salary and up the SFX budget. If your story and acting sucks, might as well pump your money into the only department that is actually getting anything done.

Avoid this movie like you broke the law and are hiding from the cops.
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Amnesiac (2014)
2/10
Awful does not even begin to describe this failure
18 April 2018
I watched this movie and I wish I hadn't. That's one of the best things that could be said about this poor excuse for cinema. It's just so poorly done in almost every regard, that describing it still wouldn't do justice to how spectacularly it fails.

The poor excuse for a story was neither clever nor unique, and it made zero attempts are carving a new niche in the genre. It's Misery if it were written by the lady who wrote 50 Shades of Gray. It is just a wannabe of a much better film, with a horrible script and poor acting.

The actors are nice to look at (for the most part), but the casting was done solely as a superficial attempt to mask the inadequacies of everyone else involved. Putting pretty people in your lead only serves to highlight all of the other garbage hiding beneath the surface.

The movie tries so hard to be a mystery, a thriller, a horror movie, but it failed at every one. How could you fail so spectacularly when you have 3 distinct genres to choose from? There was no blood, no sex, no gore, and I counted one use of the F-bomb, but other than that, the movie was neither suspenseful of thrilling. I have seen more horrific events happen on television.

I just don't see whom this film was made for. It's too tame for horror fans, too sophomoric for mystery fans, and way to slow for fans of the thriller genre. So what were they thinking? They could have made this movie a bit more palatable if they didn't treat the audience like a bunch of sensitive babies. These days, it takes a lot to stand out in the horror genre. This movie will be forgotten, deservedly so, but it didn't have to be. It had everything going for it, and just decided to not make use of any of it. This was a phoned in effort, through and through, and I just wouldn't recommend it to anyone, regardless of how bored you may be.

A shame and a disappointment.
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Tragedy Girls (2017)
7/10
If the roles were reversed, there would be an uproar. #menarenotdispensable
13 February 2018
Recently, there has been a surge of these types of movies; some mentally ill females take it upon themselves to off any man that crosses their path. Movies like M.F.A. where every man is a predator, and poor defenseless females all have to resort to drastic measures to "teach them a lesson". Then comes this movie, that does such a good job of making light of a very serious subject; the notion that men are disposable and dispensable. There is no reason for the violence in this movie other than some girls being bored. That's it. Yes, they are mentally ill, and come from very different backgrounds, but once you start seeing their modus operati, you start to realize that they don't give a crap about the people they kill; they are doing it for notoriety and fame, all the while getting away with every single one thing they do. Who would ever suspect a cute, young teenage female, amirite?

Imagine if the gender was reversed for this movie; two young boys kill any female they feel annoys them or doesn't fall in line with what they want them to do, and get away with it. There would be outrage, the feminazi's would be trying to overturn trucks and assaulting men just for having penises, and it would make every single critics worst films of the year list. It's okay when girls do it, but when a boy does it, it's a problem?

This is why my main issue lies with the way the subject manner was handled; making light of how replaceable society thinks men are is very low effort, and caters to a very limited and hateful mindset. I was offended, and I am not easily offended, that someone (two men, no less) decided to make this film, make it a comedy, and think that it is okay in this day and age. Where is the sympathy? Why are men and young boys seen as nothing more than pawns, while mentally ill girls are treated as the main event? It takes a specially kind of sociopath misandrist to find these types of movie funny. They are awful, make light of serious issues, and make everything a damn joke.

Seriously, though, the movie was pretty funny and I enjoyed the hell out of it. The acting was great, and that short haired blonde girl is going to be a star! Despite how I personally feel about the subject matter, I am a grown ADULT and understand that this is fiction, and respected the work as such. I will recommend this film to my friends, as it was very well done.
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Still/Born (2017)
5/10
This film did not deserve an R-rating
12 February 2018
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is awkward for so many reasons; teh female lead was annoying and her acting ability was severely limited, the story took a long time to get going, and the reasoning behind the events were half-baked at best and sophomoric at worst, and the lack of any serious scares really makes you wonder if the people responsible were actually setting out to make a horror film, or if they were making a drama and got caught up? It was just such an uneven mess in every possible regard, and I kept asking myself, what made this movie R-rated? Was it the excessive violence, of which there was none? Was it the nudity, of which there was none? Was it the graphic depictions of blood and gore, or which there were none? The salty language, which was tame compared to most cable networks? Nope. The sole reason this movie warranted an R-rating was for a 2 second scene where the mother looks into teh crib of her dead baby and sees a bloody mass of red blood soup with a fetus crawling around. You would have to pause the scene to really make out any details, but other than that, this movie is as teenage as it comes. It was written for and by teens, it seems, as there is nothing mature or even clever about it.

It could have been a Rosemary's Baby clone, and it would have fared better. Hell, if it was a Rumpelstiltskin film, it probably would have been tolerable. But there is no rhyme or reason to the events of this film other than, "Something wants my baby!". Please save your money, time and energy and skip this travesty of cinema. Don't make the same mistake I did.
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