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Star Trek: Beyond (2016)
3D ruins another film
This might be an OK movie. I couldn't really tell with the very murky 3D. I was unfortunate enough to see it in this format against my usual preference. When will they stop? No one can possibly like this format. Just stop it
The 3D effects were worthless. The shaky, zooming camera made action in comprehensible
This also seems to be turning into a soap opera like other long running series with multiple characters (fast and furious) I don't want to knock the film too much S I was too exasperated and alienated by the poor visual quality
Messiah of Evil (1973)
This is a real undiscovered horror gem from the 1970s. it deserves to be rated alongside the Carpenter's, Romero's, Craven's etc. It possibly isn't as celebrated as it is hard to see and Huyck didn't do any more horror so it is a one off. It is beautifully photographed in wide screen. I didn't get any of the soundtrack probs that some people referred to. The supermarket scene and the movie theatre scene are both outstanding. If you do manage to track this down (pirate?) the shear unpredictability makes it refreshing. There is also obvious cine-literacy. Elisha Cook pops up to play his usual fall guy entertainingly. The cinema is appropriately playing "Kiss tomorrow goodbye" on its marquee. The three women are all incredibly sexy (although the guy's clothes style is somewhat dated!)
I really recommend this
San Andreas (2015)
An utter cheesefest
BIG FAT SPOILER!
I have to give them that the CGI destruction is terrific apart from a load of really obvious green screen during the boat scene but this is really the ripest slice of gorgonzola I have seen in years. The plot runs on rails so even with some pretty good action and destruction the sheer inevitability is crushing. What is it with Americans? The ending (happy of course) includes: 1) a prayer meeting 2) the stars and stripes unfurling in slo mo. 3)A sunset The American family reunited and having a group hug. obviously the point of these epic disasters is to have loads of heartwarming family bonding and kids reconnecting etc
How come the rock can breathe underwater for 10 minutes? There is a hell of a lot of product placement at the beginning that make one scene look like an Apple commercial (it is I suppose)
Jupiter Ascending (2015)
derivative, frenetic tosh
I took my son and 12 school friends to see this. I was told I had to stay and accompany them. Having read reviews (mixed) and liked the siblings previous films U thought how bad can it be. Dreadful! The 1st part is an overblown retread of the Terminator where a pretty urban drudge is taken up by a super-soldier from the future/outer space and told of her immense importance and bewildering hyper active action ensues. the green screen whizzing about was tedious and uninvolving and made you long for the stripped down intensity of the terminator. I started to enjoy spot the influence when a big section of Dune hove into view followed by a silly Brazil section complete with Terry Gilliam cameo. After that it was off to outer space for lengthy Phantom Menace style exposition when I'm afraid I left so i suppose this review is a bit of a fraud. Sorry if the ending was moving, exciting and witty instead of plodding, overblown and derivative.
American Mary (2012)
After a very lackluster 2012 Frightfest Festival with only a very few memorable films and much straight to video crap this came as a sensational blast. After a great deal of stuff showing rape as fan boy entertainment this was brilliant. The Soska Sisters have added a feminist spin to a Cronenburgesque tale of body modification and surgery. There is a lot of stuff here about body image and The reason this film was so compelling a many but include: 1. Oscar worthy central performance which makes it the best Horror acting for ages. 2. Sheer unpredictability 3. A horror film by and about women 4. Real setting not a suburban Disneyland 5. Cool and stylish direction that thankfully restrained itself when you thought you were just about to witness something that might need a sick bag. 6. Make up and prosthetics that showed you stuff you definitely won't see in the average Horror. I could go on but you really need to see this if you like Horror and it deserves to be seen by a wider audience (although I doubt ti will succeed with a multiplex crowd)
The Woman in Black (2012)
OK film, crap experience
I could tell there were quite good aspects to this film but it was ruined by the pop corn munching teenage morons at the Streatham Odeon. This lead me tom think there is no mainstream audience for this type of atmospheric film as the current type of audience can't concentrate on atmosphere or nuance. Mobile phone fixated dimwits chattering throughout.
Odeon cinemas prove themselves rubbish as usual
bring on the giant robots and break dancing for them
Daniel R was a bit wooden
distasteful and feeble
I saw this at Frightfest and thought it was feeble, lazy and borderline racist about "country folk". The League of Gentlemen did it a 10000000 times better. They made northern UK villages sinister, funny, scary and witty. The teens in this film were also depressingly unconvincing compared with Attack the block. The level of humour was pathetic.
The gore was competent and eye-catching but it's not enough is it? The acting and script were on a par with a CBBC comedy without the swearing and gore. The bad guys were gurning, nincompoops and since when has laughing at disabilities been funny?
Zombie Women of Satan (2009)
pitiful and unpleasant
truly wretched experience. Please shoot them if any British producer suggest another laddish horror comedy. The low point of many was an inordinately extended shot of a dwarfs face as he took a s**t. and the soundtrack contained every toilet noise they could think of. Not even a punchline except a view of a pile of crap (a metaphor there. There was also a section which seemed to suggest rape was a subject of humour as one of the characters has sex with a zombie strapped to an operating table. Easily the worst film I have seen in a decade. I know these people are mostly amateur but there is no excuse for this sort of thing. Why are women in underwear being hit round the head a lot funny? Why cant they say anything but "fookin"? I could go on but I want to forget the experience rather than recall it in detail.
Since I wrote this other comments have appeared that I can only assume are cast members or their relatives
a true original
I was lucky enough to see this at Frightfest and came away thinking I'd really seen something disturbing and original. Easily the most original and likely to be lasting film of the festival. A true cult is born. Something of the tone of David Lynch and the same effect of queasy laughs and impression of real obsessive imagery as th first time I saw Eraserhead. Also a little of Cronenburg. (although it's not at all comparable as a film) its the closest I can get to describing it's impact. on the surface it's a horror film with one of the greatest mad scientist performances ever from Dieter laser it also has a really disturbing central idea. The less said the better as the novelty is part of the fun. It's filmed really cheaply but competently and I look forward to the sequel. Give the man the money so he can get on with part 2!
arrogant, tasteless stinker
I haven't been tempted to write a review like this since the last Star Wars turkey (which at least I managed to nod off in)This is an excessively long, witless exercise in bombastic overkill. Strangely enough , as many others have commented it manages to be really boring. I took the kids and enjoyed the last one. It was a kind of souped up Kaiju. This one is like the crappy middle period Godzillas. All the Robots are confined to a kind of Monster Island and come out on missions to defeat the bad gut robots. This is doubly tacky because the island is Diego Garcia, stolen from it's people by The Brits with the US. They ar still fighting to get their Island back. IN fact the film is one long hymn to the US military and appears to be some sort of retrospective justification for US intervention in the Middle East. As usual the humour is lame and embarrassing. Shia acts with conviction but must be hoping this is the last. Avoid this at all costs
excellent low budget horror
this is a terrific, low key creature feature. Excellent atmosphere and attention to detail in the farm setting make up for not much of a monster. this is just the sort of thing that Hollywood horrors cant do with glossy productions and CGI effects. billy O'Brien deserves a go with a bigger budget. I would be very interesting to see what he can do . The acting is generally believable and the minimal cast works in the films favour. Sticking with animatronic effects makes it creepier (although this was probably for budget reasons). Its a shame the title mad cows was already taken as this seems a natural choice. The scene in the mud with the tractor is brilliant.
superior animated stuff
far above usual American animation in story and style. It is a little similar in theme to Wall-E but I and my kids preferred it. I hope it gets the chance of a proper UK release. We saw it at a preview (sci-fi film festival). It was interesting to see the Alien on the human spaceship creeping around and realise they had reversed the usual "Alien" type scenario. The technology and wildlife and culture of Terra was fabulously realised. Anyone would enjoy the sight of the flying whales. The dusty terrain under the terran clouds was eerie and beautiful. Although I avoided it I imagine its far above the Star Wars CGI stuff that has come out recently. Its more like some of the Miyazaki films such as Nausica or Mononoke. Go and see it!
a stinker, Aja: bow your head in shame
This really was a stinker. A subtle, scary Korean movie has been turned into a loud, shouty action movie. The usual Hollywood haunted house movie has been regurgitated: Huge haunted house sets-check deafening booming sound effects-check ludicrous script where everytjhing gets resolved and the ghost laid rest- check Aja should be ashamed of himself. It makes me very much doubt the original talent he seemed to show. This is simply crass. The frightfest audience (who loved his earlier movies) laughed at it and treated it as comedy by the end. The girl tearing her head open was eye-opening but will probably be cut in America and seemed in the wrong movie. Truly dumb
Lucas now seems to be the dullest director working in stuff that isn't straight to video. I nodded off during one of the "dialogue" scenes. Admit it everyone who saw it this was boring as sin. Some of the most wooden acting ever with the worst lines. Once upon a time this stuff was fun that didn't take itself too seriously, now its a pompous long winded bore. What happened to humour in this sort of thing. Endless blather about democracy, the republic etc don't amount to any actual subtext or significance in the whole steaming pile of overcooked twaddle. Annakin must be the least convincing tortured hero ever. He seems in a permanent schoolboy strop. I would guess he wont be getting too many big budget acting jobs. Possibly modelling hoodies? The action is so frenetic as to be confusing and one is always aware that you are watching a cartoon or super video game. Give it a rest now George!