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Mako: The Jaws of Death (1976)
This Time it Really Seems Personal
A man with a mystical connection to sharks goes off the deep end and does anything to get revenge on those who abuse sharks. Sort of an ecological movie, before there was such a thing.
The year before this movie came out I was too young to go see Jaws, but when this came to our local theater, I hounded my mom until she took me to see this. I later repaid her kindness by keeping her awake all night with my shark nightmares.
Not a Jaws ripoff at all, although it was accused of being one. Maybe it was the "jaws" in the title or following in the fishsteps of that other shark movie so soon after?
Richard Jaeckel helps sell this with his dedicated, intense performance.
Jaws of Satan (1981)
Satan comes to Earth in the form of a cobra. Fritz Weaver is a priest whose family is linked to this whole affair somehow.
Great premise but the movie failed to lure me in, instead it got boring. It was the film debut of a very young Christina Applegate though.
Darkest Hour (2017)
Gary Oldman is impressive, as per usual, and I love a good historical biopic. A chance to revisit or learn some snippet from the past.
That scene on the train, with Churchill and the regular folk, caught me a bit off guard. I found it sweet, inspiring and patriotic (and I'm not even British), and it's what really made the movie for me.
And of course, Oldman won the Oscar for this role, he is more than worthy.
Tarzan the Ape Man (1981)
The Adventures of Naked Jane and Whatshisname
Tarzan is mostly an afterthought in this version. It's all about Jane (Bo Derek) and her beautiful body. Obviously a vanity collaboration between Bo and her husband, John Derek.
Seems more like a Playboy video than a movie at certain points, but Richard Harris is on hand to supply some thespian scenes.
Could have used more action scenes, the few we get are slowed right down as much as possible, for some reason.
It was the early 80's, that's how it was back then. Not as boring or as bad as I assumed it would be.
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982)
The plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face...
Carl Reiner and Steve Martin have crafted the perfect film noir spoof, complete with cameos from actual film noir movies, seamlessly inserted into this madness that had me giggling throughout.
I'd seen this many years ago, but seeing it again made me like it even more, since I now have a greater familiarity with some of the movies used for clips.
If you like supreme silliness to make you laugh constantly, then this is the movie for you. This film exists to make you happy, so sit back and smile.
This shark, swallow you whole...
A hungry great white shark decides to camp out near an island beach community and snack repeatedly on the unsuspecting populace. Only the police chief, an oceanographer and an unstable fisherman can stop it together.
The most terrifying movie of all time. Growing up in a similar beachside community, I was convinced it was only a matter of time before I was gobbled up by a shark. That primeval fear has never really gone away. Repeated viewings over the years don't really help much. Sure, I still went swimming, but that fear was always swimming in the back of my mind...
Contains the single greatest jump scare of all time, you know which one I mean!
Perfectly cast, right down to the locals playing the locals. Robert Shaw in particular has created one of cinema's most fascinating characters. His USS Indianapolis speech is so hypnotic, it lures you inside this story to the point that you forget you're watching a movie almost. That's the power of The Spielberg, baby!
John Williams' score is otherworldly and so perfect. It's become a part of the fabric of our mutual pop culture. Pure genius.
I could rave on and on, but this movie is so huge that the whole world knows it by now and have already written about it in far better ways than I could. My absolute favorite movie of all time. If you haven't seen it yet, stop reading this and see It!
Definitely Not a Drag
Hilarious, sweet, raunchy and touching.
The actors fill their roles so perfectly. An epic disco soundtrack.
That Julie Newmar movie wishes it was half as good as this.
Double Negative (1980)
Snoozy Canadian Thriller
On paper it sounds great, with Anthony Perkins as a baddie involved in an unsolved murder, but drifts aimlessly most of the time.
Perkins is great though, easily the best thing about this movie. There are a few attempts to recreate Hitchcockian camera angles involving Perkins that I liked.
Apparently the SCTV studios doubled as the casting offices for this movie, the following all have tiny roles: John Candy, Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, Dave Thomas and Joe Flaherty.
Bunny the Killer Thing (2015)
An American Were-Rabbit in Finland
My favorite killer were-bunny-on-a-rampage, horror sex comedy, Finnish/UK international production of 2015.
I laughed a lot watching this, but wouldn't recommend it to anyone easily offended. Gets a bit racy and gross.
But seriously, what did I just watch? It's a comedy and a horror movie. And maybe a little pornographic.
Cult Horror With a Twist
Where the heck did this movie come from?
I put this on because of Michael Sheen and was hoping for some slightly creepy, weird little thriller to pass the time. Instead, I got more than I thought I would. A real pleasant surprise, it develops into a great horror tale.
The man with what looks like a bee hive on his head is an awesome new horror creation!
It seems like a jambalaya of The Wicker Man, The Witch and a little dash of The Village. But it has it's own story to tell, one I won't spoil here. There are some shocking moments of gore for those horror fans who appreciate some inventive bloody scenes. There's also a great mystery behind it all, slightly different than what we're used to, or what I expected. Loved that final shot!
Fun 80's Adventure Flick
Being an 80's kid who had access to cable TV and video stores, I kinda pride myself on having seen most movies from that era. However, there are a small number that have eluded my grasp, such as this one. It was the time when I discovered James Bond, and Indiana Jones and all his copycats permeated pop culture. Adventure tales were my thing back then, I probably would have loved it in the 80's.
Now, finding a long lost 80's movie I'd missed is an adventure for me. Nostalgia makes such things nearer and dearer.
This was a fun romp, but don't expect too much more. Plays a bit like the pilot of a TV show that never happened, but there are some cool World War I flying scenes.
The final film role for Peter Cushing.
Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
Glenn Close goes to the edge and slightly beyond in this movie! She is simply astounding. This movie is one of the reasons why I consider her an acting goddess.
The movie itself has more conniving, backstabbing and debauchery than an afternoon of soap operas. John Malkovich gets to play a smarmy, smooth operator and truly delivers. Michelle Pfeiffer and her shimmering gorgeousness will catch you off guard. The costumes, the setting and the many twists and turns make for one wild and crazy ride.
So glad I revisited this movie again after so many years.
That is one slowly sinking ship...
It's a sequel to a movie that practically screamed "No Sequel" but it's a fun 70's style adventure that they just don't make anymore. It has a great cast and the movie delivers. Sit back, remove your brain for the night and enjoy.
A*P*E was made in an attempt to cash in on the success of King Kong (1976), except that King Kong was not a huge success at that time.
The effects will not impress you, you'll be too busy laughing at them instead. But it's great fun to mock them.
The movie is never boring and moves from one major set piece to another. Sure, it was ineptly made, but I have a bit of a soft spot for little disasters like this, and such an affinity for King Kong that I appreciate the "tribute" made here.
A Christmas Classic To Be Enjoyed Anytime
Gizmo is my spirit animal.
Gremlins is truly an epic achievement on all levels. The script, the effects, that score is an ear worm that will never leave your brain, it's just that good!
This is one of my most beloved and cherished movies from the 80's. It's both Christmas-y and sentimental, but also dark and twisted.
Joe Dante, please make more like this!
Wouldst Thou Like To Get Freaked Out?
I don't think I could ever trust a goat again after this movie.
Starts out like some weirder than usual episode of Salem, then grows more and more evil from there on.
Freaked me out, and that's always a plus for a horror movie. A great ending!
Very few movies have ever made me feel true horror, but this is one of them.
Our world is a scary place sometimes, kids. David Fincher knows this and uses it against us in his movies, and we are so lucky that he does.
Atmospheric beyond measure, plus the setting and subject matter, all add up to a perfect storm of a movie. Just stupendous moviemaking. Not for the faint of heart.
Meet the Applegates (1990)
No Bugs Were Harmed in the Writing of This Review
A family of shapeshifting insects from South America move to suburban USA as part of a plan to destroy humanity, but then hilarity ensues instead.
Weird, and a little darker than I would have expected, and I mean that in a positive way, but it does have some laughs. And there's the more serious but not so well hidden message that humans need to clean up after themselves better.
This movie has both Stockard Channing and Lee Garlington, two actresses I used to confuse for each other at one time. Guess I can put that to rest now.
City of Fear (1959)
An Exciting Idea Carried Out Nicely
A noir-ish thriller in which an escaped convict may or may not unknowingly unleash a radioactive substance that could wipe out Los Angeles. What a concept, and a great idea for a movie.
Vince Edwards is one charming baddie. The movie keeps you guessing what will happen next, predictability being so boring. Beautifully filmed in glossy black and white, with lots of 50's style tuba on the soundtrack. A good time.
De lift (1983)
The Stairs Really Are Your Best Bet
"For God's sake, take the stairs!"
This whole concept made me laugh, and even though the movie plays it straight, I still snickered throughout the whole thing. Maybe it was the dubbing of the Dutch actors, some of those voices were over the top. Possibly it was some of the random deaths that left you scratching your head wondering how an evil elevator managed to pull them off. Either way, I'm a sucker for all things 80's and off-kilter horror, so it was a good time.
What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
It Ain't Easy Bein' Undead
"Leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!"
The thought of New Zealand riddled with goofy vampires makes me happy. This movie is silly but clever, and that makes me happy too.
Watch this movie.
30 Days of Night (2007)
Still waiting for someone to top this vampire tale, but no one really has, yet.
The vampires are legit terrifying, the setting is unique and you get tons of vamp bang for your vamp bucks. Danny Huston creeps me out still, even in other roles.
I feel the advancements in vampire cinema made here were derailed by the Twilight craze that followed. This deserved a better sequel than the direct-to-DVD follow-up we got.
This series keeps on topping itself, just when you think they couldn't possibly do so, they just do it. The action scenes are frequent and exhilarating, which is no easy feat in an age when we've all seen so many action scenes before.
The whole cast is top-notch and up for anything. Just amazing action sequences from the get-go. Tom Cruise is a crazy man, he really does a lot of his own stunts, you have to admire that kind of dedication. Christopher McQuarrie, a genius! This is what he was born to do! And it's been announced that he will do more of these movies, so I couldn't be happier. The spy genre is in perfect hands.
This movie is beautifully filmed, cinematography freaks will enjoy it.
It ties in pretty heavily to the previous entries of the series so you should really do yourself a favor and watch them all chronologically first before seeing this one, it will add to your overall enjoyment.
One of the best action movies I've seen. A weird thing to realize you're saying about part six in a series, but it's the truth, see it for yourself.
Under the Silver Lake (2018)
There's No Hidden Code in This Review
Unemployed slacker, Sam, takes on the mystery of his missing neighbor, all the while there is a dog serial killer on the loose, a rich celebrity goes missing and there's a skunk lurking outside of his apartment. And that doesn't even properly sum up all that is going on in this movie.
It's like if Chinatown, Inherent Vice and La La Land all had a threesome and this was somehow the child spawned from such an arrangement. This kind of movie is either your bag, or it isn't. It has a dreamlike quality throughout, and at a certain point it leans much more heavily towards the dreamlike quality than reality. You're either one of those people who hang on and enjoy the ride, or you start to get annoyed. Me, I hang on.
Quriky, funny and surreal, but also beautiful and disgusting too. I see this getting compared to that sloppy mess, Southland Tales. No, stop it!
Honestly, I spent most of the movie stressed about whether or not Sam would ever pay his rent or not!
Life is Wild
Coming from a broken home that I had a front row seat for made me sympathize with the boy. But the movie never lets itself get too maudin.
Never got the hullabaloo over Carey Mulligan in other movies. She was good but never stood out for me, until now. Here, she's the whole movie and she runs away with it, beautifully.
Sorry, but if you're tuning in for Jake Gyllenhaal, he's off screen for the middle of the movie.
Paul Dano directed this and he has the knack for it. Looking forward to what he directs next.