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Visible Scars (2012)
hilarious, perfect for the background of a party
27 February 2015
If you want a horror movie that is a perfect example of so bad its good, this is it. This movie was $1.60 and it was worth every penny. The dialogue is line a minute hilarious and quotable, the story is awful but still better than some mainstream horrors, the acting isn't that horrendous but still pretty b-level. The most ridiculous flaws that stood out actually were the wardrobe decisions! the main detective's outfits always seemed several sizes too small and his ties were never done right. People wore wigs that had absolutely no reason to be wearing wigs and just the entire cast all looked strange and unnatural.

This whole thing was all just a big basket of poorly made crap that is absolutely enjoyable til the totally shitty end.

watch it.

this has been a review of Visible Scars.
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Eh, Lazy and Cliché
19 February 2015
Great concept but awful execution. "Found Footage" are most always crap from the get go, this is one of the better ones but it is still a found footage. The story, the atmosphere, and the general spookiness all suffer because you're not allowed to focus on anything. Every time something would start to get really interesting the camera would either start malfunctioning or just start spinning wildly. Found footage, imo, are the laziest form of film making ever made.

That being said, what you could actually see was pretty good. the concepts of Hell were pretty exciting and creative but could have been a lot more if you could actually see anything for more than 2 seconds.

It was claustrophobic but could have been a lot more so (Crawl or Die is the most claustrophobic movie ever made and this is nowhere near that level). The storyline of everyone having their own personal hell and personal demons was very cliché but it was presented well enough for going that route.

At the end of the day I'd say this was a little better than average. Better than most mainstream horrors like the freaking Conjuring and Annabel and Sinister and all those garbage atrocities (the popular crap that is ruining the horror genre).

I've seen a lot worse than this but I've seen a lot better. I doubt I'll ever feel a desire to watch it again except for maybe a few reference scenes.

I'm saying a 4, it just could have been so much more if they weren't so lazy and afraid to push the boundaries.
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Osombie (2012)
best zombie film in a long time
16 April 2013
Osombie, the story of a group of marines and a yoga instructor who stranded in Iraq hunting down Middle Eastern zombies. On the surface this sounds like a dumb, implausible and annoying movie but in reality this is entertaining from start to finish. It's original, the dialogue is fluid and realistic, the graphics are great though fairly cheesy and dangers the team is put in is refreshing. From team members turning into zombies while holding grenades to fighting zombies in a land mine field to having zombies on one side and enemy soldiers on the other this is a great and relentless action flick.

I expected this to be a dumb afternoon matinée but by the end of it I was ready to buy it off amazon. It's easily one of the best zombie films I've seen in a long time and I make no exaggeration in saying I've seen all of them.

The team is logical and realistic without any typical movie drama and a complete lack of stupid typical movie mistakes. There's no pointless nudity, no unnecessary language and the gore is kept in control which is just amazing to have in a modern zombie flick.

This is a really great flick and should be watched by anyone who enjoys action or zombie flicks. I really can't express how surprised I am by this and how much I recommend it.
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The Awakening (I) (2011)
best soundtrack on a movie I've heard in a long time
3 March 2013
This haunted thriller takes place in 1921 and surrounds a clever ghost skeptic who is renowned for busting hoaxes around her dreary England town. She is assigned a job in which she goes to inspect a very large and creepy all boys school.

It's not very scary and most of the jumps are very predictable, the plot line is original for the first half and then it gradually builds to a story that's not so fresh. It has several dry spots and scenes that drag on a bit too long and some pointless nudity that felt a little silly.

What really makes me love this movie and would make me recommend it is the amazing soundtrack. Every score was incredible and was honestly better than any other part of the film. Along with the incredible soundtrack was the attention to vintage detail on every shot, every thing about the movie felt very authentic to its 1920s feel. The acting was very well done and cinematography was excellent to where it alone became a striving point in my reason for wanting to watch it.

It won't scare you or leave you frightened afterwards but it's a nice, fairly clean, spooky tale.
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surprisingly great
23 February 2013
At first I did not want to see this movie, it looked very indie and very preachy and like every other movie ever made. I watched it on a whim during a boring overnight shift and expected it to be something to make fun of later.

It's difficult to describe just how badly it was advertised. This movie is not a laugh out loud comedy though it is very funny in some parts. At points it's very serious and very sad but it makes this all the more realistic considering it's plot line. This is probably the first and only movie I've seen that actually has a realistic depiction of people with depression. Masterful acting all around gives you a perfect example as well as the outside parties who simply do not understand how depression works. Zach Galifianakis actually uses his acting abilities and plays one of his best roles he's ever been in. He's not a comedic lead as was advertised he is much better.

This movie is just really well done and very well rounded. It's light hearted and uplifting but really packs an emotional punch. You should ignore the reviews, previews or whatever else and go see it for yourself. It was not like anything I had heard or expected.
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Red Hill (2010)
a simple bloody mess of a story told many times before
9 February 2013
Red Hill is a usual western tale, a man is arrested, he breaks free and comes back for revenge and things aren't what they seem. Every good guy is a terrible shot and all of them except the main guy are incredibly dumb. The bad guy is mute, startling and an expert marksman until select moments when for no reason he seems to forget how to operate a firearm.

The acting is mediocre except for the main actor, Ryan Kwanten, who does an excellent job portraying a man who can get the crap kicked out of him for an hour and half. The soundtrack is pretty good, the visuals are okay and the blood factor is little over the top on occasion making this seem almost like a cheesy slasher flick but with guns instead of knives. The plot line is simple and doesn't leave you to think about anything afterwards making this overall, a fairly forgettable movie.

It's not a terrible flick but it is predictable and best suited for an afternoon matinée viewing while you're cleaning the house and need something in the background.
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Absolute Cinematic Fun
27 January 2013
Gangster Squad was excessively entertaining. The best gangster movie in years. It's simplistic, retro and full tilt. Sean Penn is ruthlessly exciting. It's a plot we've all heard before, it's a movie we've all basically seen before but so much better. It's over the top in style and action. Josh Brolin is a role model and top notch in his performance. . The only downside is some way too cheesy lines, a couple fight scenes are zoomed in too closely and Ryan Gosling's voice work sounded like a prepubescent teenager besides those three things it's a nearly perfect film reminiscent of Dick Tracy-esque villains. GO SEE THIS MOVIE.
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Cosmopolis (2012)
staggeringly original and poetically complex
27 January 2013
Based on Don DeLillo's novel of the same name, the movie centers on a 28-year-old super billionaire named Eric who wants a haircut. He is warned that many complications lay in wait but he insists on going ahead. Along this staggeringly original odyssey, Eric hops in his seemingly indestructible Andover the top futuristic limo and begins the day long ride. Along the way he meets some extremely unique characters including his economically obliged but very distant wife Elise, his mistress, a doctor who gives him a prostate exam in the limo and his financial adviser as well as a group of insane anarchists and his own destined assassin, a psychotic man played expertly by Paul Giamatti.

This epic journey for an every day task becomes extremely complicated and at some points is very hard to follow. The plot is completely dialogue based and the dialogue is poetically complex and takes a little bit of thought to figure out just what they're talking about, defiantly a movie that you should watch with a dictionary or thesaurus nearby.

It really is an extremely original and very entertaining movie with several original characters. I enjoyed it but once it was done I didn't feel compelled to buy it. It lacked a certain gripping power but it was fun to watch through once and maybe I'll get it form the library again in the future.
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Absentia (I) (2011)
had some great moments
19 October 2012
I pretty much had no idea what this was going to be about going into but I did know it was indie and that it was low budget. What starts out as a very slow burning psychological thriller picks up momentum before turning into a physical creep fest that leaves you a little more chilled than when you started out the day. You have two sisters, one of which lost her husband seven years ago. The husband left without a trace so much so that he was declared dead. The last place he was seen was a super creepy tunnel but just as the wife is finalizing the death certificate paperwork he suddenly reappears as a horrified husk of a man he used to be. He rambling tells a tale of demons in reference to a place outside of our mind's comprehension and just as he begins to fell safe the things from the tunnel come back for him and more. This movie had several boring parts and towards the end it was really dragging for its short 87 min time length but where it redeems itself is in its legitimate creepy scenes and top bar acting.
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Silent House (2011)
The worst movie I have ever had to sit through
16 October 2012
This is the movie where it's done all in one take, 88 minutes of following the most annoying helpless girl in any horror movie ever. Watch in aggravation and sheer frustration as we get every terrible cliché in the genre complete with the worst camera work since Blair Witch. The only hope you carry while watching this movie is that the girl will die a horrible death. Plot line, doesn't matter its crap and it changes like five hundred times. Every attempt to be scary is shot down five minutes before it happens because its so predictable. The only reason this isn't getting a 0 is because I thought the guy said moles in the wall instead of mold and it was funny and because there was a scene where the killer was briefly seen running through a pitch black house with his hand stretched out to try and grab someone's throat
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