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28 Days Later,
Amityville Horror I-IV,
April Fool's Day,
Army of Darkness,
Carnival of Souls,
Children of the Corn,
Child's Play I-III,
Cube & Cube 2: Hypercube,
Dawn of the Dead,
Day of the Dead,
Don�t Look Now,
Drop Dead Fred,
Evil Dead I & II,
The Exorcist I-III,
Faces of Death,
Freddy vs. Jason,
Friday the 13th 1-10,
The Hills Have Eyes,
House of Sand and Fog,
The House That Dripped Blood,
Killer Klowns from Outer Space,
Last House on the Left,
Night of the Living Dead,
Nightmare on Elm Street 1-7,
The People Under the Stairs,
Queen of the Damned,
Return of the Living Dead I-III,
Rocky Horror Picture Show,
Run Lola Run,
Saw I & II
Silent Night, Deadly Night I-V,
Slumber Party Massacre,
Sorority House Massacre,
SpongeBob SquarePants: The Movie,
Stand by Me,
Tales from the Darkside: The Movie,
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre I-IV,
Trick or Treat,
Trilogy of Terror,
V for Vendetta,
When a Stranger Calls,
Without a Paddle,
Zombie Flesh Eaters.
Sex and the City (2008)
Wow, what can I say? I think that they definitely pulled this movie off! Being a huge fan of the television show, I was eager to see how it would transfer onto the big screen. And I was not disappointed. It was fresh and funny, the characters I remembered and loved were amazing as ever. It was savvy, stylish and of course, sexy. People complain that when television shows are made into a movie, it will just be a longer version of an episode of the television show. But I do not think this is the case with Sex and the City: The Movie. The plot is very well done (although still a secret, sorry) and lose ends and questions are tied. I felt this movie was very satisfying and witty. I could never expect a masterpiece when a movie is based on a television show, but I felt that the movie lived up to expectations; fashionable, incredibly witty and of course, crude as ever.
Overall I feel that these Treehouse of Horror Specials are becoming less and less scary, and are now all about cramming in as many guest appearances and references to popular culture as possible. The opening credits, spoofing "Tales from the Crypt" was quite humorous and well done, with Burns as the Cryptkeeper. The first segment was called "Married to the Blob" which is a story about Homer eating slime out of a meteorite, and turning into a giant blob, which results on him going on a rampage through town, eating all of the townsfolk. There were some humorous jabs at Arby's, teenagers, the homeless, etc., but overall a lot of the humour WAS forced, and there was an unneeded appearance from Dr. Phil, which flat out was not funny and overall quite weak. The ending twist was fairly funny. Overall I found this the strongest of the three segments and I give it 3/5. The second segment, called "You Gotta Know when to Golem" was a take-off on an old Jewish legend, about a Golem which obeys all commands written on scrolls and fed to him. What happens next is predictable; Bart gets his hands on him and of course, gets revenge on the bullies and Principal Skinner. There was a great voice appearance from Fran Drescher, giving an over the top annoying voice to the female Golem, but overall this segment was weak, clichéd and predictable and not even slightly scary. 2/5. The last segment called "The Day the Earth Looked Stupid" was about Orson Welles broadcasting his War of the Worlds radio play, and tricking the citizens so much that they almost destroy all of Springfield, but when they discover it was a hoax, they refuse to believe it, when Kang and Kodos genuinely do take over the town. The humour is non-existent, bar one or two snickers. This was awful. 1.5/5 Overall, this installment in the Treehouse of Horror series was a very big let down. Catch only if very bored...
With a little polishing, this could be excellent.
Amityville II: The Possession does what it sets out to do. It provides plenty of great elements for a scary, tense horror movie. Amityville II never sets out to be a masterpiece, or an Oscar-worthy film. It just tries to fit in as many creepy experiences as possible, to scare the viewer. From possession, to deforming people, to child abuse, incest, and paint brushes, beds, plates, mirrors and doors flying around. Even earphones which are possessed with a demonic voice. This movie provides plenty of upsetting, tense and genuinely frightening experiences. The acting may be a little stale in places, but overall there are fine performances from pretty much everybody, even though the scared mother does overplay her part quite a bit. The film does clock in at an hour and forty minutes, making it quite a bit longer than need be, and some of the scenes outside of the Amityville house do drag on a little, but overall this movie does carry some very memorable, haunting scenes. The best in the Amityville series.
"I Have Mace!"
When you see a blonde woman threaten an old coot dressed up as Merlin, with Mace, you know you're in for a treat of a movie. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders is one of the most muddled up, confused, poorly stitched together films you could ever have the misfortune to come across. It opens with a young boy watching TV. His grandfather then begins to tell him some stories about Merlin, the Great Magician, who has opened up a spell shop in the modern times. Selling potions, spell books, snakes, spiders, cauldrons and other wacky products, it's no surprise that an enraged reviewer decides to threaten Merlin by promising to give an awful review in the local paper about the shop. He then takes one of Merlin's spell books home and begins to dabble in the dark arts, only managing to turn his cat into a vicious beast. The cat then begins to violently attack it's owner, which results in the man setting the cat alight, and letting it die in a burst of flames. So far so good for a children's movie? No. So far so good for a horror film? No. Okay then... well, so far so good? No! The pain then continues when the man continues to practise spells, but only ends up turning himself a hundred years older, then turning himself back in time, to a young baby. And there, we have the end of the first strange story. Nothing very entertaining to get out of it. It's to harsh and bloody for young viewers, yet to unrealistic, unappealing and tame for any older viewer. The acting so far stinks like rotting fish, and the plot is a muddled as you can get. Then onto the second story, about a birthday present bought for a kid; a procession monkey doll, which claps cymbals and chatters it's teeth. However whenever it does this, something bad happens (starting with a goldfish, then the cat, then the near miss with the human) This episode is a fun premise, but is done slowly and painfully, with no real suspense or excitement to hold you down and reel you in. It's just to boring and slow and plain for anyone over ten years watching, and to creepy and a slight bit unsettling for very young, young children. So what audience category does this fit into? Who will enjoy it? Who is it aimed at? The answer is; no-one. And no-one should feel the need to torture themselves by trying to sit through this bland, sordid mess.
The Descent (2005)
The Descent is a tense horror movie which will eat at you and play on your mind long after viewing. The Descent is one of the best horror movies to come around for a very long time. The plot follows six friends who reunite for a caving expedition after a tragic accident which effects the main character - Sarah's life, forever. This trip is in order to get back out into the real world and experience fun again and to help put Sarah's mind at ease. Their adventure soon goes terribly wrong when a collapsing of rocks traps them deep in the dark, claustrophobic underground caves, and they find themselves being chased by bloodthirsty Crawlers - deformed creatures who have inhabited these caves for hundreds of years. Character development doesn't go overly deep -- but it doesn't really need to. The headstrong girls all get along fine, but there are obvious alliances and unspoken grudges hanging in the air. It is a realistic group of people you can truly imagine in reality. Juno has organised this adventure, a climb down into a famed cave system. She is the leader of the group; assertive and intelligent. Her new friend Holly is a hardcore thrill junkie and looks like she could be trouble, while mild-mannered, supportive Beth, Rebecca who is soon to become a doctor and Sam fall more in line in terms of group dynamic. As the movie begins, and they start their climb through these narrow, dark, nerving tunnels the tension already begins to rise. You can almost feel the emotion, the fear and excitement these girls are feeling. You can almost smell the dank, earthy smell of these ancient tunnel-ways. The way the film sucks you into the situation; makes you sweat, gives you goosebumps, makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end - this is genuinely effective scares. The movie doesn't require the false scares and loud jumps that are overplayed nowadays; it just grabs you by the scruff of you neck, and throws you deep into the exhilarating experience of enclosed spaces, with this group of intelligent, skilled, athletic women, who continue on down these tunnels... until Juno makes a horrifying confession which dreads you with fear. This isn't the cave that she pointed out to them in the guidebook. It is in fact uncharted, and she has no clue if there is another exit from where they are at this point. Right about now you feel so nervous. The lump in your throat is growing bigger and your palms become sweaty. The terrifying idea that this situation rings true to what could very easily happen in real life is a horrifying idea. And the thought of being lost and with no sense of control or direction, thousands of feet underground where nobody can help makes the tension rise higher and higher. The group's bond is stretched by this horrible news. They, naturally, freak out and start to argue and point the blame finger. As these women then continue on with their journey deeper and deeper into the darkness, physical stress and strain begins to become apparent. They are sweaty and hot and wet and dirty. They have very little equipment and soon lose their rope. As they continue further and further into the heart of the underground, there is also that burning question swimming around them. Are they going to be able to find a way out, or are they just going further and further into the wrong direction? Paranoia, desperation, claustrophobia and pressure begins to make the girls crack. They begin to hear noise and echoes and crawling sounds. Could it be that they are not alone? Could there be other people down here who could help them? Apparently not, we learn, as we are introduced to Crawlers - bloodthirsty hunters - in a revealing way which will make you jump out of your skin and make it crawl. This introduction to the villain is one of the most heart-pounding ones I have ever seen! It really gets your adrenalin pumping! During the initial attack on the group, an attack is made on one of the girls and the group is split up. Now things really begin to get moving along at a jaw-dropping pace. These horribly deformed creature inhabit these caves and prey on humans. However they are blind, so they track down their prey with their astounding hearing skills. Once the group is split up in a wave of panic and frenzy, things really start to get juicy. Pits of bones, pools of blood, chambers filled with stalagmites and stalactites (which are cleverly filmed to show how dangerous and deadly they can be; like razor sharp poles. They almost seem to make you think how even the caves are against the group of girls, because of how extremely dangerous and unsafe they can be. Even the caves and tunnels are on the Crawlers side) and dark tunnels which go on forever are what the girls encounter, as they continue to delve deeper, in both fear and hope for survival and escape. As the film pushes itself to the extreme without stopping to take a breath, emotional secrets are revealed, fatal accidents are made, and a final act of vengeance leaves you sitting there with you jaw in your lap, your spine tingling and your head swimming with emotions on these events. The Descent is a fantastic race against time. Not only does it pile on the gory goods the tense unnerving chills, but it also breaks into tougher topics; betrayal, revenge, decisions, responsibility and fear for survival. Neil Marshal delivers a fantastic, brutal horror movie which doesn't play out the typical clichés and stereotypes. It is as real a story with an array of true, honest, believable characters and real questions, thoughts and touches on real emotion. The Descent it a definite must see, and one of the finest horror films to come around for years and years.
Jason X (2001)
Jason In Space
Jason X is mind-numbing. It is awful. Perhaps the worst in the series. There is hardly anything redeeming about it. Jason X sees Jason tricked into being cryogenicly frozen by a woman called Rowan who is also frozen along with him. They are then unfrozen in the year 2455 aboard a spaceship full of naive teenagers on a trip. These teens, along with an older teacher, explain that Earth has been destroyed and tell Rowan that they are currently dissecting Jason etc. Rowan knows of Jason's murderous ways and tells them that they don't know what they're doing etc. but in the usual clichéd way they think they know what they're doing, until it's too late, and Jason is dismembering limbs here, there and everywhere. Jason X really hits rock bottom. It's storyline is completely unappealing and seems strewn together very loosely. There is no mention of any of the usual roots of the Friday the 13th movie; there is no Camp Crystal Lake and no camp counsellors, so why does Jason feel the need to kill everyone off aboard the ship, if they have done nothing in the first place. Well, the reason seems to be that Jason gets agitated by sexual activities, and skimpy-clothed big breasted woman, so he stalks around the ship killing off everyone in rage. Boring. The gore is completely unsatisfactory, save for an interesting scene where Adrienne has her face cryogenicly frozen in a sink, and smashed to pieces on the table, leaving her with no face. The script is completely wrong, and the acting is just plain unconvincing. The one one redeeming feature is the rather stylish sets, which look super cool and sexy. If they want to do Friday the 13th, I suggest they keep them on ground and in the woods, because Jason X is one terrible mistake.
I had always loved Dario Argento's movies; they were so clever and beautifully made. Demons was different from some of his other work, but let me tell you, it was thoroughly enjoyable from start to finish. When two friends go to the cinema to watch a free horror movie, one by one the theatre's audience becomes possessed with demonic qualities after one woman, Rosemary, cuts her face with a mask and is transformed into the first demon. This highly enjoyable and unique plot is just the right cue for over the top gore and excellent comedy values. The fantastic characters in the movie shine bright, most noticeably Tony the Pimp, who reminded me of Mr. T. He was just hilarious to watch. Demons is gruesomely gory, but in a more comical way than usual; watch boils pus, people be puked on, peoples throats slashed and eyes gouged out, as the collective group of people try to escape from this haunted theatre. What is so fantastic is that the gore is looks so genuine and the mutilations are so utterly convincing. The soundtrack is fantastic eighties rock which adds more entertainment and fun to the film. The script is full of wonderful lines like "Ow, sh!t, I scratched myself" -- "That will teach you to touch things." and other eighties gold which shines through and will make you laugh. One problem though is the poor lighting throughout the film. The main set seems to stay the same dull red for a long while, which is quite unappealing. There are very impressive scenes and great special effects; watch the hero ride a motorbike around the cinema and decapitate demons with a machete; watch a helicopter crash through the cinema ceiling; watch as the hero and heroine escape onto the roof where they only meet more trouble. Demons' ending is also very entertaining, if not a little bit predictable! Demons is a wonderfully enjoyable film to watch.
Stay Alive (2006)
Stay Alive is a bland horror movie about a video game that kills people the same way they die inside the game. The friends that play this game soon figure this out, and then realise they must defeat the Blood Countess from the video game or accept their fates. We've had video tapes in The Ring, a deadly website in FearDotCom. Now it's onto video games. Stay Alive does some things well; the character development is quite a bit deeper than it usually would be in a horror movie. We really see into some of the characters feelings and past and get to know them all quite well, so the audience may gain some emotions for them. The film is also very suspenseful. Tense, unnerving moments are frequently played through the film, accompanied by unsettling, creepy music. There are plenty of jumps and jolts for the viewer. This can be ideal once or twice, but these false scares that Hollywood seems to enjoy overplaying in horror films nowadays, wears thin in Stay Alive. The camera will tend to provide sharp angles or quick flashes in order to give viewers a very quick glimpse of a demon or witch, and try to scare them with this sudden burst on the screen. Why? The gore is obviously very weak because of the film's certificate. The script to Stay Alive is very cheesy and quite laughable, and the characters tend to play it too melodramatically and confusingly. Also, clichés come in from every direction, for instance people wandering around on their own in search of a strange noise or if they have spotted a figure in the dark, they will go and investigate it. However the computer graphics used for the video game segments are rather impressive and look colourful and sharp, working well with the other parts of the film. But overall, there is just not enough to hold out on with this film. Stretching at just over a hundred minutes, it won't be a battle to Stay Alive, but rather, Stay Awake.
The Vicar of Dibley (1994)
Slapstick Sermons and Hilarious Hymns
The Vicar of Dibley is a rare British treat; a television show which is fresh and original. It follows the antics that Geraldine Granger encounters, when she becomes the new vicar in the small, cozy village of Dibley. Filled with hilariously crazy characters such as Alice, the dopey but lovable friend of Geraldine, whose mousy characteristics and childish charm is both heartwarming and fun. There is Jim; a stuttering old fool who usually gets into a pickle. There is Hugo, the lovable old oaf and son of David, the serious, stern man of the village. Each episode of the Vicar of Dibley is packed with outstanding comedy. Visual and spoken jokes are played out very well, in this well-rounded polished British TV gem.
Jason: Stay In Hell!
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday is by far the worst instalment of the whole Friday the 13th series. It is a grubby, cheap, dirty movie which makes my skin crawl and makes me want to take a good, long shower; but not in a good way that a horror film should. Everything about this sequel stinks. The terrible acting and the horrible, dull array of characters. The Jason formula is repeated over and over, and becomes completely bore-some. Jason who we thought was dead, becomes reborn in a coroner, and moves around from body to body until he finds a relative with Voorhess blood in them. Once he does, he can settle in their body. So basically Jason is missing from this mess of an instalment. The rhythmic, speedy, upbeat soundtrack is completely unnecessary and becomes repetitive and irritating. The death scenes are quite trimmed, yet inventive as was Debbie's demise, when she is impaled and halved with a tent spike. This was one of the very few redeeming qualities to this shameful flop. It's a grave shame that this addition is in the collective series, because it is clichéd, dull and has hardly any reasons for viewing it whatsoever. Skip this headache inducing mess.
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan takes a brave step in a new direction, with pretty unintentionally hilarious results. Part VIII is the instalment which most people seem to enjoy slating, however I think that it is one of the better sequels. From the overly stereotypical teenagers, to the fantastically inventive locations and death scenes, Part VIII offers much more than just Jason's gruesome slayings, and is therefore better for it. The plot is very basic; Jason boards a luxury cruiser full of teenage college graduates on their way to New York. As sexual activities and drug abuse ensues aboard the boat, Jason slashes his way through the entire load of passengers, leaving just a handful of characters to roam around the Big Apple as he continues his stalk. The characters in this movie are fantastic; J.J. the weirdly sexy punk guitarist, Tamara the hot bitch, Evie the naive girl-friend, etc. Once again the Friday the 13th series doesn't fail to bring to our attention a wonderful array of weird and hilarious people to watch be killed off. The death scenes are brutal and inventive in this movie, however for a later sequel the gore and blood seems very trimmed, so you are left feeling cheated, as the gore is much more toned down and very tame. We're talking about the annoying way the camera cuts away as somebody is about to be killed, so all we see is a blood splatter, or a shadow, or a pained face, etc., so the gore is a great letdown. The script in this movie is also very painful, and the characters all seem to be spouting a load of unwitty nonsense at times. In this instalment we also get to see Jason as a young child as well, as background and past stories are weaved into the main plot, both between Jason Voorhees and Rennie, the main heroine of this sequel. The soundtrack to this instalment is upgraded to punk-rock, and gives it a less creepy, tense feel, but is actually blended well with the dank back alleys of New York. There are plenty of plot holes in this movie. The way New York is over-exaggerated as being a shithole is quite unrealistic, but it does go well with the whole gruesome, dark Jason theme. Overall Part VIII is rather loose and could have been much better if we'd have seen more of Jason actually in New York.
Carrie Vs. Jason
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood is more of the same to be honest. It adds original ideas to it and throws in a bit more plot structure, but underneath all of that new material is basically the same old Friday the 13th material. Not necessarily a bad thing in this case, because the acting is very good in this instalment. However the Jason formula does hit rock bottom. The thrills, chills and scares are the same old same old. Victim hears a noise, hunts about, then Jason jumps out on them, and they meet their demise. Now, this is the whole trait of the Jason Voorhees franchise, but it can get a little tedious and boring when they play this the whole way through the movie. Gore wise there is a decapitation, a party horn shoved into a head, an axe to the face, which happens twice, a drowning, a hand thrust through a chest, a body thrown out a window and the fantastic scene where Jason whacks somebody in a sleeping bag against a tree. The soundtrack is more tense and chilling in this sequel which is a benefit to the weaker points of the movie. The characters are very clichéd; the spoilt bitchy girl, the ugly girl who wants to be beautiful and popular, etc. These personalities make you want the characters to die. However Maddy, the ugly-turned-beauty girl was one of the few characters I enjoyed watching on screen, and truly felt sorry for. It really seems that popularity and good looks do, indeed, kill. Anyway, the introduction of a telekinetic girl to battle Jason was a bit of a twist. It half works and half doesn't, to be fair. It just doesn't seem to be very appealing, the fact that this girl, Tina, has her telekinetic powers yet takes forever to get rid of Jason. It was also her powers which summoned him up from the lake. So Jason hacks his way through a cabinful of partying teens, celebrating a birthday. The usual stalk-and-slash ensues, and the battle between the heroine then follows. Why is it never a male who has the final battling climax? Anyway as you can see, apart from the obvious additions to distract you from the fact that this is more of the same, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood delivers the usual gruesome goods and gratuitous nudity which makes the series so appealing, and is therefore worth checking out.
Balance is a excellent short which revolves around a square board hanging in the air. This board represents the world. On this board are five men, all fishing over the side. There obviously represent the people of the world. These five men must cooperate with each other in order to keep the board balanced so that it doesn't tip. One man then reels up a musical box from the side of the board. This man wants to keep this box all to himself. However if he does this the board will become unbalanced and will effect others. But if this man were to put the musical box in the centre of the board and share it so that everybody could enjoy it together, then peace and calm would still exist on the board. This is obviously referring to people's possessions and resources, and how if one part of the world takes too much power over resources, then other parts of the world will be effected, yet if we shared all resources, all countries would be balanced and we would have no need for concern and worry. The short is simple and creepy, yet this emphasises even more about how the shorts message need to be taken into account and have something done about it, because it's message is simple and the ideas of what could happen if the world went into conflict over resources is an unsettling feeling. The end consequences of the short are amusing, but hint what could happen in reality. This short is very clever and well-made, and has messages and meaning. A short I could view many times and have very good conversation and debate over. A really interesting film to seek out.
A Creative B-Movie
Killer Klowns from Outer Space is an unusual and inventive sci-fi B-Movie about Killer Klowns who invade a town and start viciously killing people. It's original plot and inventive ideas make this an enjoyable movie which doesn't take itself too seriously. Which genre it belongs in borderlines throughout the film. Soemtimes it is pure indulgent comedy, for example Killer Klowns running around with acidic ice-cream sundaes and popcorn ray guns, and wrapping people up in cotton candy cocoons and slurping their blood through twisty straws. But then it isn't really ideal for children and very sensitive viewers, as the added gore, the effectively scary Klown makeup and costuming, and the horrifying ideas make it hard to find it's target audience and definite genre. Most adults can enjoy this without being too grossed-out and scared. However it does stick in your mind, and the Klowns themselves are unnerving and horrific to look at. The goofiness of the story makes it great popcorn fun though, so just take it lightly and enjoy the combination of gore and comedy. The big colourful bright candylike sets and the fantastic Klown technology and surrealism adds more twist to the already freaky premise. The script and acting is just above average, with some good performance and memorable quotes and fun scenes. Killer Klowns from Outer Space is great popcorn-munchin' fun.
Big Brother (2000)
Big Brother 7 Is Hit And Miss.
Big Brother seven continues to vary, from being funny, interesting and good entertainment, to boring and uninsightful trash. Big Brother is a reality show which locks a group of complete strangers in a Ikea-stylised house. They must complete tasks successfully to earn a shopping budget and parties and rewards like chocolates and alcohol. They must also nominate two people each week to put up for eviction. The public will then vote for who leaves that week. So it is basically a voyeuristic twenty-four/seven house, with thirty odd cameras taping everything the group says and does. Big Brother seven has been good and bad. Sometimes the people in house provide hilarious quotes and tantrums and conversations. Sometimes it can be boring and uninteresting. You have to take Big Brother lightly though. Don't expect anything glossy and glamorous, 'cause it isn't. It's 'reality' television. Although now the aim of this show seems to be to cram as many weirdos as they can into the house; gays, transsexuals, plastic surgeoned people, people with problems and so on. Big Brother is hit and miss really. Unscripted, with these people basically doing and talking about what they want. Many people will be false and fake, or have game-plans and ideas to win to game. There is a cash prize for the winner. Big Brother provides housemates with twists and cruel turns. So far we have had Big Brother School and University, Big Brother Prison, Big Brother's Secret House and Secret Luxury Hideaway, for example. These additions can be fun. Also this series had it's first double eviction. One of the decent things about the show is the evictions, which are usually good to tune in for. But the show can be crude, vulgar and a bit of a sloppy pigsty. Big Brother. Is it good? You decide.
The Break-Up (2006)
A Very Good RomCom
The Break-Up is a very enjoyable movie, which basically follows the lives of Brooke and Gary, a couple whose relationship is breaking apart because of Gary's poor efforts to appreciate his partner. The Break-Up is not your usual clichéd fluffy chick flick, which is a change for once and a nice breath of fresh air in it's genre. Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn both play their roles to perfection; Anniston as the fed-up overworked houseworker/artist who doesn't get any help around the house from her partner. He doesn't help her to clean the dishes, he won't take her out to places she enjoys like the ballet, he buys the incorrect gifts and products for her and he doesn't appreciate how much she works for him and has appalling please's and thank you's. And Vaughn plays the lazy male partner who can't compliment his girlfriend, very well. He is a great actor at complaining and delivers his lines and scenes brilliantly. So, after a large meal with both Brooke and Gary's family, in which the couple argue their way through, Brooke has had enough of Gary's slobbish ways. The way he ignores her, and just wants to play video games and watch the match without helping her at all. Anyway as the arguments ensue, we begin to feel sympathetic for each character in a different light. First we feel sorry for Brooke because of how much she is put through, without any support around the house from Gary. Then as Brooke begins to spite Gary and try to make him feel down, so he will come back to her, (by her dating other men), we feel a little upset for Gary. Then, as the film develops we discover that both of them are now going to have to try and fight to keep their condo. Gary moves out his bedroom and lives in the living room on the sofa bed, while Brooke lives and sleeps in the bedroom. Division and fighting continues throughout the home. They continue to squabble about things such as what they can and can't do and where they can and can't go. For the next few weeks, Brooke and Gary try to upset and annoy each other. Brooke tries to date men in order to get Gary jealous and to try and win him back over envy. But she never quite wins the situation and never quite finds the right guy to get Gary back to her. Meamwhile Gary just lazes around the living room, doesn't clean up for himself and he buys a pool table to annoy Brooke, after their arguing over the fact that they can't have one. He also has a poker night in which he brings strippers home. This game of fighting in order to annoy one another provides plenty of laughs and great lines and scenes for the audience, and also works by helping wound their relationship even further, and making their division even wider. After a mishap of the two trying to host a 'game night,' in which Gary has bitter feeling for some of Brooke's friends who betrayed him after the split, Brooke and Gary's friend, who is also a Realtor, decides to help them sell the house and split their money so they can go their separate ways. Emotions and feelings start to play on the audience. We see how far the two have drifted apart, and feel completely sorry for Brooke's character, who only wanted to be loved by her husband, and after their split, wanted nothing than to be together again. Brooke then invites Gary for one last concert, hoping that they can mend some of the cuts in their split. But after he never shows, Brooke has had enough. She cries in front of Gary and spells out how all she ever wanted from him was appreciation. Gary feels sorry for her, and feels ashamed, but cannot fix what has been broken between them. After Gary cleans the condo and cooks a meal for the two of them, he tells Brooke his true love for her, but she doesn't feel the same. The two never get back together but the film ends on a smiley, happy note, as the two meet a year or so later, and are still good friends. The acting, as I have mentioned before, is on top form. The two leads play their drama so excellently, you would find it hard to believe the two aren't a real couple. Excellent characters also include Judy Davis as Marilyn, the rather eccentric artist who provides great comical value and John Michael Higgins as Richard, the crazy gay brother of Brooke, who once again adds some comedy on the side of this rather serious drama between the two leads. The script is good, with plenty of jokes, especially from Vaughn who is never a let down at delivering the humour while acting completely serious. The sets are rather nice, the condo is an attractive place. The soundtrack was nothing special and pretty unforgettable. However the many redemption's of this movie; the un-clichéd ending and the decent plot, followed by outstanding acting makes the Break-Up a very enjoyable experience. Not your average chick flick -- which is a good thing.
Cutting Moments (1997)
Cutting Moments looks at how a suburban family is falling apart. Wife Sarah and husband Patrick have drifted apart and Patrick has been found guilty of abusing and raping young boys. We can see that he has absolutely no interest in or love for his wife Sarah, and that this family has completely fallen apart. Their young boy, Joey, seems to feel completely guilty and ashamed of what his father has become, but it is Patrick's wife Sarah who is emotionally outraged that she has let her husband become this monstrous paedophile by her unappealing, unsatisfactory sex life she provided him with. We see that Sarah completely blames herself for what Patrick has become and this makes us deeply sympathise for her. She goes through extreme lengths to try and make Patrick and the family happy; she tries to make conversation and tries to make everybody feel happy. She does everything a loving wife and mother should do, yet Patrick completely ignores her and doesn't appreciate this. In a last attempt to arouse her husband, Sarah dresses up in a beautiful red dress with matching lipstick. However, her attempt was unsuccessful as her husband doesn't notice her at all. Upset and outraged at herself, Sarah goes back to the bathroom and begins to rub the lipstick off of her lips. She rubs harder and harder, but she still can't get the shameful stuff off of her lips. It is still there in her mind. In a desperate attempt to clean herself, she picks up the nearby scouring pad and vigorously rubs and rubs at her lips as they start to scratch and bleed, frantically trying to remove this empty gesture. Then, in a final act, Sarah snips off her lips with a pair of scissors because she is so ashamed of herself. Afterwards she returns back to the lounge, where her husband finally recognises his wife's devotion to him; he finally recognises just how deeply she feels for him to do something like this. The then mutilate each others bodies in the bedroom, in a sadistic love scene. Cutting Moments uses shocking violence and gore to portray just how hellish family life can become and how painful a broken family can become. It uses cringe-worthy techniques to emphasise just how painful rejection and ignorance can make a person feel.
Jason vs. Sadako (2003)
Love and Blood Lust
Jason vs. Sadako is an enjoyable five minute animation about the villain from the Friday the 13th series falling in love with the evil girl from The Ring movies. This small animation provides plenty of laughs in it's short time span, and hilariously shows how the two of them fall in love and go out on dates at funfair's and to the cinema, and how their true love blossoms without anybody getting in the way of their love for each other. Along the way other horror villains are seen; The Leprechaun, Pinhead, Chucky and Freddy Krueger are all parodied very quickly in this fantastic short. A fun way for horror buffs and non horror buffs alike to spend five minutes. An excellent short.
An Average Installment...
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives is a good instalment, which goes back to the roots of what the Friday the 13th series is all about. However, this is so similar to some of the predecessors that it practically recycles parts of the story and plot. That aside, Friday the 13th Part VI does deliver the gory goods and also provides plenty of black humour, which opens instantly, with a James Bond parody in the opening credits. Inventine gore and death is once again present in this sequel, ranging from a triple decapitation to somebody head being smashed into the metal side of an RV. Part VI does contain some of the least interesting characters out of the series, in my opinion, save the paint-ballers maybe. Scenes alternates from where they take place; the woods, the lake, the cabins, in a motor home, in broad daylight and in the dark. This variation provides interest because we see and feel that Jason can still get you in the middle of the day. The script is what you would expect, pretty average. The acting is on good form, especially from Jennifer Cooke. Jason does indeed live, but this premise certainly isn't the most liveliest.
Jason Sits This One Out
Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning. This sequel is actually one of the best in my opinion, except for the lousy ending. Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning does everything correctly, through the first three quarters of the movie. We start off with the plot of Tommy Jarvis being sent to a halfway house for troubled teens, and there he is plagued by visions of Jason Voorhees. So we now have a fresh twist that the movie isn't to be set about cabins in the woods again, which is a breath of fresh air. Then, we have the absolutely fantastic array of characters, all of which are rememberal and great to watch. Ethel and Junior provide comical relief as the hillbilly mother and son, we feel sympathy for Jake, Violet and Robin, who are all great people to watch interact. The characters are all interesting, and all have their own personal traits which makes them work, instead of them all just wanting to party, drink, smoke and have sex, so this is also a step in a new direction. Out of all of the Friday the 13th instalments, Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning probably has the most memorable characters, and some fantastic scenes with them, for example when Anita and Demon sing whilst he is on the toilet, or when Violet is dancing the robot. Friday the 13th does have some very memorable and inventive death scenes as well, although plot holes and continuity issues do fall through think and fast. There is some nudity as well, mainly from Debbie Sue Voorhees, which is very enjoyable. The script can get very lame, for instance the conversations between Billy and Lana. However the twist ending is that Jason Voorhees wasn't behind these murders, but it was instead a copycat who was killing off the teens after his estranged son was hacked up at that very same halfway house. This is quite a let down, but seriously, don't let this put you completely off. Jason takes a vacation, but this filler still delivers the goods.
Satan's Little Helper (2004)
A Fantastic Black Comedy Slasher
Satan's Little Helper is a very enjoyable black-humoured comedy horror. The plot revolves around a young, naive little boy named Dougie, who after playing too many Satan Video Games becomes the pawn of a serial killer in a devils mask on Halloween. Dougie and Satan then wander about, terrorising the neighbourhood and scaring Dougie's family. The pair go about hurting people and Satan beating and murdering people, whilst Dougie thinks it is all an act and isn't real. Satan's Little Helper is overloaded with plenty of black humour, which makes it so enjoyable, there is a lot of funny sight and spoken gags, and the movie doesn't take itself seriously which is excellent. There is small amounts of violence and gore in the movie, but nothing overly horrible so it's nothing that the weaker hearted won't be able to manage. Satan's Little Helper has some of the most memorable scenes, such as Dougie answering the door and finding Jesus on his doorstep, Satan writing "BOO" with a dead cat's blood and Satan and Dougie running people down in a shopping trolley. Plenty of fun, horror, great script and a unique storyline. However watch out; the young actor who plays Dougie is a little irritating. A delightful comic-horror must see!
Not The Final Chapter...
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is a good instalment to the Friday the 13th series, but is by no means to best. The story shows a group of teenagers go to a house in the deep forests by Camp Crystal Lake to party. There is also a nearby residence, where the Jarvis family live. This sequel is much more darker than the other movies, and desperately lacks character depth. The main heroine Tina and he brother Tommy are the only decent characters, with any depth to them. All of the other characters are just a group of teenagers intent on getting drunk, smoking, skinny dipping and have pre-marital sex, which is now the main formula for arousing Jason into a killing machine. In this sequel, Jason has very little depth either, he just hunts down all of the teenagers and kills them one by one, and basically, that is it. he does nothing else to make us feel hatred or remorse or sympathy, he basically just kills everybody, unlike the previous movie, where he battles the heroine, and shows intelligence and emotion. There is plenty of gore in this sequel, and some rather gruesome and inventive death scenes. The start of the movie is set in a morgue as well, which furthers the basic forest scene, but doesn't really expand on much, except Jason kills off a few characters in the morgue, then escapes. It may have been fun to see Jason hunting down people in the morgue, and escaping, the going back to Camp Crystal Lake. The movie focuses not only on the house full of partying teens, but also the Jarvis family who live nearby, and how these new sexually active teens have brought Jason to the neighbourhood for some ultimate terror. The script is pretty poor in this instalment, with some lame jokes and bad eighties corn. The acting is fairly decent, and the soundtrack is nothing rememberal. Overall this is a decent addition to the series, but nothing spectacular.
Zzzap! is a fantastic TV show. It ran from 1993-2001 and is now being sorely missed. Series One of Zzzap! was just excellent. Cuthbert Lily, Daisy Dares You, Smarty Arty, The Handymen and Tricky Dicky were just some of the weird and wonderful characters contained in this giant comic. Zzzap! was basically comic sketches come to life. Each characters antics would be watched through the panels of each comic frame. Zzzap! was originally designed for deaf children, so it has a much wider visual appeal, ensuring all of the story lines key elements are portrayed through the characters movements and through big comical words popping up on the screen. The big characters have always been Cuthbert Lily and Daisy Dares. Cuthbert Lily was a fantastic slapstick legend. He was dead silly, and always ended up getting into mishap or trouble! Daisy Dares was a ragtag young woman who would get kicks out of making a crowd of schoolchildren complete a practically impossible task; usually involving cold baked beans, old milkshake, or anything mouldy, rancid, old and gunky. There has also always been the Handyman as well. Expert craftsmen in the form of two silk-gloved arms. These arms would make games, food, drinks and toys right before your very eyes, in a clear and concise manner, in a way that makes it easy for children both deaf and hearing to remember how to make. Then, there was Smarty Arty (played by the fantastic Neil Buchanan), a fantastically funny artist, who could draw things such as cars and people, and make them come to life! In the recent series there has also been the goof-ball character Minnie the Mini Magician, and irritating, boring character; but don't let her put you off of this unmissable television show. Two thumbs up!
High Octane Action.
Action packed to the brim, Stormbreaker is a fantastically fast paced movie which will leave you on the edge of your seat, breathless. With plenty for everyone, Stormbreaker follows Alex Rider, a fourteen year old boy who has secretly been trained all his life for a career as a spy, but his late uncle Ian Rider. Alex is spun deep into a web of near death and destruction, when M16 send him on his first mission to weed out crazy businessman Darrius Sayle as a lunatic. Sent in disguise as a computer geek, Alex sneaks around Sayle's grounds, uncovering mysterious and murderous secrets as he goes along. There is plenty of fantastic action and stunts. Alex knocks out six burly men with a thick piece of rope, Alex battles his way out of a huge jellyfish tank, he rides bikes, horses, motorcycles and monster trucks and reaches a breathtaking climax upon a rooftop with Darrius Sayle himself. Stormbreaker, however does have down-points. It's humour is somewhat stifled and bland in places, sometimes because it isn't delivered in a humorous manner. The annoying pop soundtrack also failed to impress, and didn't match the James Bond style film. There were also a couple of plot holes and continuity issues, and some of the characters were adapted and changed from how they were in the book which wasn't needed. There was also a very out-of-place fight between Alicia Silverstone and Missi Pyle stuck right in the middle of the film, which seemed to serve no purpose other than to try and throw up more humour onto the screen, which didn't work particularly well. However there are plenty of saving graces in Stormbreaker to make it worthy enough to go and see. Bill Nighy and Stephen Fry were on top form and made their characters shine, as did Andy Serkis as Mr. Grin, who made his character genuinely frightening, without saying a word. I can also see Alex Pettyfer's career going far, as he suited the role well, and did a fine job. An all-round awesome action movie.
Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
Jason Bursts Out Of Your Screen!
Friday the 13th Part III is lots of fun and also quite scary and gory at the same time. It's 3D appeal is very hard to find nowadays, as the DVD comes in a standard grainy 2D version. So look forward to many items jumping to the edge of your screen, but never quite out of it. Friday the 13th Part III is a very good movie; the music is fantastically creepy yet upbeat at the same time. The colours are very nice in this film, which shows a horror movie can have nice glowing colours without needing dark rooms to scare the audience. The acting varies, Dana Kimmell as Chris is one of the most appealing and convincing heroines throughout the Friday the 13th series, and she pulls off a very genuinely terrified young woman, being terrorised by Jason Voorhees. Jason Voorhees is also appealingly upgraded in this movie. He is big, sturdy, muscular and menacing; he is a big hulk of horror on two legs. And the legend also gains his infamous hockey mask in this movie. The characters are also very fun in the instalment. Some are humorous and make us feel sympathetic when they are killed off. Some are serious and are easily relatable to, so we also feel pity for them as well. There is also the annoying jester who we come to feel sorry for, and the rejecting bitch who gets her comeuppance. The locations in this movie are really picturesque and fits the Friday the 13th feel very well; a cosy, warm cabin snuggled up deep in the woods. The script is also upgraded as well. Humour and small jokes are inserted here and there, for relief and also to make us feel warm and closer to the characters. The gore is quite well handled in this movie; gruesome in parts and much more inventive in this film. It is enjoyable, however is much more appealing when the popcorn, eyeballs and yo-yo's are flying out of the screen. There are also background stories and flashbacks weaved into the main story, about Chris' past, which tries to give the movie more depth. This is quite unnecessary, but it still works well, and it doesn't bring the movie down in any way. It actually gives a reason as to why these teenagers are visiting these cabins. The ending has it's trademark surprise scare, so look out for that. This third movie in the series is an absolute pleasure.