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Muck (I) (2015)
8/10
Dumb smutty violent comedy
22 April 2015
looks like i am in the minority here. I'm thinking that because of the polished look, interesting trailer, and decent distribution that this movie has hit mainstream crowds and therefor has gotten a lot of hate. Don't get me wrong i'd be crazy to ignore the fact that this is a flawed film. There were plenty of times where I had scoffed and shook my head at the stupidity. For example, the acting by most of the cast is atrocious. The nudity was over the top and exploitive (the scene with the girl in the bathroom trying on bras made no sense? she walks around with a purse full of bras and panties?) and there were a few continuity errors(the living room was drenched in blood yet no one was killed in that room and the girl who got tossed through the window couldn't have possibly lost that much blood). Yet i felt that one characters performance and hillariously cheesy one liners helped completely redeem this movie in the second half. Him and his friends relationship made me actually care for the characters as well as laugh at all the awesome violence on screen. Again i must repeat that Muck is undoubtedly a flawed movie that is not meant to be taken seriously. Mainstream crowds wont be able to overlook its flaws but i think hardened horror fans will be able to look passed the stupidness and take it for what it is. Dumb fun.
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7/10
almost too far
4 May 2014
this movie wont be for everyone. I'm sure im not the only one who has a hard time with sexual horror. There is a lot of uncomfortable sexual scenes in this movie that will make it hard for some people to watch. They even get pretty damn close to crossing the line when it comes to the children yet thankfully they showed some restraint. For such a smutty type movie it did however feel intelligent. The plot was gripping and very intense and had me wondering until the end when it concludes very nicely. I liked the ending a lot and thought it wrapped things up nicely. It also left room for a sequel which would be interesting because of the unique antagonist in this movie. There isn't a lot of gore but when it shows up it was very unnerving and brutal. Here Comes The Devil is a movie that is too raw for a mainstream audience but is smart enough that it will probably find cult appreciation.
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Godzilla (1954)
8/10
cheesy by todays standards
4 May 2014
You cant ignore the importance this movie has had in the world of film. It will always be remembered as one of the first, biggest, and longest monster franchises ever. Looking at it now its hard not to just enjoy it for how bad the effects are but also how clever they had to be to pull them off with their limited resources. The movie achieves a sense of charm due to its age. Also notable is the social commentary the movie has on things like atomic bombs and radiation. Its a good insight into an important time in history. Although I did like Godzilla quite a bit I still think I enjoyed king kong more. Gojira is a classic and fun look back in time.
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Beneath (I) (2013)
3/10
too dumb to be fun
18 April 2014
kind of the opposite of the other movie I watched today, I liked this one a lot less than I expected. Its gotten mixed reviews mostly on the good side Id say. Unfortunately it does not deserve the praise. What I did respect about the movie was the way the creature looked. It looked like they mostly used practical effects mixed with a little bit of cgi. This in my opinion was a great move on part of the directors. Using practical effects is almost a must for me. There has been a flood of cgi filled creature features and most of the time as soon as the crappy digitally animated creature shows up it pulls me right out of the movie. The creature in this movie looked great, Unfortunately the movie has nothing else going for it, The whole movie takes place around a group of teenagers stranded on a small boat. They make incredibly bad and unbelievable decisions that just make you mad and just over half way through I couldn't wait for this movie to end. It would have been nice to see them do something special with this cool creature and when it finds its first victim I thought things were looking up but they definitely went down from there.
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Nurse 3D (2013)
9/10
better than expected
18 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
liked this one much more than I thought I would. Why would I watch it if I didn't think id like it so much? I always feel compelled to watch any new horror movie with any degree of hype. This one received a lot of attention leading up to its release and initial reviews were mixed. I thought they did a great job. The sexy nurse character has been referenced in film for ever and its surprising that it took until 2014 for a movie based on the character to surface and I think they did a great job. I believe they have created a character who could one day join the ranks of other horror icons. Paz de la Huerta is a different kind of actress and it takes a minute to get used to her style but after you do it makes her that more memorable. Its cool that she was in the movie Enter The Void which was one of the weirdest trips I've ever seen. She is obviously comfortable with nudity and the movie is sexy to the point of exploitation. They don't just settle for exploitation though (which would have been fine), instead they decide to make a pretty straight faced plot that has a few plot twists and a structure that has more depth than other movies of this type normally have. It seems very well written and has the cast to pull it off. Finally there is also a high gore factor which for me earns it mega bonus points and Huerta's nurse character is crazy as hell. I wouldn't be surprised if they find a way to make a sequel and turn this into a franchise. Nurse 3d hits on all marks and is hopefully the start to a welcomed addition to the horror genre!
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Wither (2012)
8/10
been there done that
1 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
this is definitely a great gore fest. The main problem with it would be the lack of originality. We've seen it all before in the evil dead series and it felt a lot like the recent remake as well as cabin fever. what I did like about it was the cool parts where the people would become possessed and one of their eyes would roll back into their head but it was missing the ultimate climax that the new evil dead remake perfected. It has some really dumb characted decisions but it also has some pretty awesome ones like the "bad boy, brother character" who imidiatly kicks the crap out of one of the females who becomes infected. Its super gory and intense and I had a good time its just already been done. My brother hasn't seen evil dead and he liked this movie.
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6/10
oh dear lloyd
12 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
holy cheesefest. I'm sorry but I have to quickly comment on another reviewers review because it seemed odd to me and it is the main review showing when you look at this movie. Its by Aaron1347 or something like that, he says he didn't like the first class of nuke em high...so then why did you watch the sequel? people like that bother me. He also says that he liked it more than the first but its not good enough to make him want to watch the third one...that doesn't make any sense. Anyways, this movie is just downright ridiculous. It is the peak of troma's stupidity. Everything in this movie seems to be put there just for the sake of being dumb and outrageous. I found myself shaking my head more than laughing but it was still a fun ride. The characters are all over the top comic book types just made for comedies sake. Pointing out flaws in a movie that is pretty much just one big flaw is kind of redundant but personally the one thing I would have taken out of this schlock fest was the weird fat guy who talked with a really intentionally fake, annoying high pitched voice. I nearly fast forwarded through any scene with him in it. The movie is filled with blood, goo, hilarity, and did I mention stupidity? There is also a healthy heaping of nudity because in a school where there is limited locked space it just makes sense that there would also be limited clothing. just turn your brain off for an hour and half and enjoy yourself. I liked it more than the first one in the series and the third one is pretty much the same as this one.
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Heart Attack (2013)
4/10
im sorry
15 January 2014
sometimes I watch a movie and feel bad for not liking it. It happened earlier this year with rob zombies lords of salem and now again with night of the tentacles. The reason I say I feel bad is because I know the filmmakers have potential and I wish them success but in these cases they in my opinion flop. This is the second movie I have seen by Dustin Mills Productions. Its a micro budget, campy, practical, gory, comedic labour of love. My kind of movie. I love the effort put into these types of movies and I find them to be very inspiring. That being said, night of the tentacles just didn't do it for me. The actual tentacles were a cheap cgi that made for very uninteresting kills and kind of make the story drag on, if im not getting good kills in a low budget movie then the characters and dialogue better make up for it. In this movie they almost do, The main character is really the only notable actor, he does a great job emulating an early Bruce Campbell or Jim carrey type of over acting rub face. Hes great and id give him a role in my movie any day. Everyone else unfortunately is a throw away. The dialogue is all pretty much forgettable except for his neighbors dirty sex talk which add the only real laughs in what should be a balls to the wall cheese fest. What should have been an entertaining sleeze fest turned out to be more of a boring chore to watch unlike dustin mills "Zombie a-hole" which was flawed yet still much better than "tentacles". I still feel dustin mills has a few aces up his sleave and I look forward to watching "bath salt zombies" but for now I would recommend watching "Mold! the movie", "Father's Day (troma)", or "Cadaver Christmas" for your fill of low budget indie goodness!
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Bad Milo (2013)
8/10
good ol butt humor
15 January 2014
bad milo is hilarious, I was a little worried that the immature premise would fall into lame potty jokes territory but surprisingly the movie hits ways more than it misses. The jokes are not lame, they are actually clever considering the content...yes its all immature but you know that going into the movie. Its another one of those films where if you think the premise is dumb then don't watch it, if its something you think you can laugh at then you should be able to watch this movie. Granted I caught it at a film festival with a crowd of open minded people it still seemed like everyone thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The jokes are very funny, the actors are all great, the title character is just ridiculous and there is even some gore involved. After hearing a synopsis I thought Bad Milo would be funny and it was even better than I expected.
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8/10
nastiest of 2013(canadian DVD release)
8 January 2014
Warning: Spoilers
damn what a raunchy movie. This movie falls into the small category of movies that are too nasty for me too recommend to people yet is very well made, written, and acted. The story is very good and there is quite a bit going on that it will be hard to explain without giving too much away...here's a try. 2 girls and their inbred mutant brother/son/nephew flee too the woods too hide from their psychotic father and his drug suppliers. That is the basic but there is a lot more going on, including plenty of rape, which is the main factor in deciding that I couldn't show this too anyone without a very strong warning. The movie is very violent, intense, gory, and obscene in almost every way and for what it is its all done very well. Alright that part was for people who haven't seen it, the rest of this review contains spoilers. I can't believe the different lengths this movie goes to exploit and offend. The plot synopsis made it seem like I misinterpreted some things but it looked to me like the father raped his daughter(off screen) and then she gives birth to her inbred brother/son and out of shame the father hides it in the shed where it grows up to be a mutant... That's just nasty but really every "indreds attack" movie is based off this premise they just don't have the audacity to confront their viewers with it, it makes things a lot more gritty. Then when the sisters flee the one sister becomes a prostitute. This just adds too all the nasty sexual abuse going on in the movie and its all very overwhelming, usually rape and sexual horror make me more uncomfortable than anything else. Now as if all that isn't enough, there is the side plot of the brutal drug dealers chasing after the girls, the dad breaking out of prison and then out of nowhere the sisters and brother become cannibals! This movie is ruthless as hell and even though I will probably never talk about it again, it was all well made and will not be forgotten.
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Monstro! (2010)
4/10
not a fan
5 January 2014
Warning: Spoilers
el monstro del mar had some pretty good things going for it but in my opinion is ultimately a failure. The directing team seems to have lots of potential but just couldn't muster up enough talent to make these half ass actors look good. I liked where they were going, three sexy bad girls on a killing spree fight for their lives against a tentacled beast from the ocean. Its a low budget grindhouse style film which happens to be one of my favorite genres but this one just didn't do it for me. The biggest problem is the actors; the three lead female bad girls are unattractive. They are a bunch of 3's dressed up as 9's and are only wasting my time. Its not that there is anything wrong with being unattractive its just that the role seemed to call for hot chicks and these girls fell short, also their tattoos looked stupid. This could all be forgiven if they maybe had some sort of acting talent, they vomit out their lines in a completely annoying fashion. I felt the whole movie dragged up until the last 10 minutes where it comes quite close to redeeming itself. Once the monster shows up for the final showdown the movie shows some huge potential and had I not been annoyed for the first house I could have seen myself really digging this movie. The monster looks cool and there is some nice gooey action that almost distracts from the horrible actresses fighting it off. I like me some low budget campy grindhouse-esque monster movies but el monstro del mar is hindered by terrible acting and cheap sound.
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Pacific Rim (2013)
7/10
robots vs monsters
4 January 2014
Warning: Spoilers
watching a bunch of giant robots fighting monsters is awesome. There is no denying that. Pacific Rim embodies this notion. Pacific Rim is The robot vs monster movie. That being said, everything else about it is pretty damn terrible. The actors are all trying way too hard and it seems that everyone involved was having a hard time taking the subject matter seriously. Maybe because everything in this movie has been done before. The whole plot is ripped from every aliens attack movie. "Aliens attack and humans put aside their petty differences to work together to destroy the attackers". Its so cliché its ridiculous. I was constantly having flash backs to other movies. Most notably would be of course Godzilla, Transformers and also Independence day. Even the ending reeked of Indep Day. The black market for kaiju parts was somewhat interesting but it was all way too Hollywood. The scientist's were also vaguely interesting but watching them interact and grow as characters made me want to puke. Jackson Teller just looks like he hopped out of Sons of Anarchy and into a robot suit. Again, robots fighting monsters will always be cool and the special effects are top notch but everything else is unintentionally cheesy and cliché, its very much similar to the Transformers series.
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9/10
hilarious
26 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
the dialogue in this movie is very well written and the janitor actor sells the whole thing with his performance. Everyone else is what you would expect from an indie film but he steals the show. Gore and dialogue are the key reasons to see this. its indie film making done right. This movie will fit in perfectly with my collection of Christmas horror movies and becoming essential viewing over the holidays. The people behind this seem very talented as the gore effects all looked great and the one liners hit more often than not. I liked the part where the janitor was passed out and the drunk was moving his lips and talking for him, twas priceless. I had a great time and this movie fits in well with newer grindhouse-esque slew of indie films as well as all of my holiday favorites.
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Rare Exports (2010)
8/10
all around great movie
26 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
this movie definitely surprised me at how well rounded it was. The acting was all very good from the adults to the outstanding actor who played Pietri. The kid was great. The whole vibe of the movie had both a quirky and creeping feeling to it. The kid was constantly afraid of Santa and the precautions he takes were very amusing and tongue in cheek funny. There were also some offsetting depressing vibes that made you care about the characters and I was not expecting that. The emotions in this film are so widespread that it definitely stands out as above average Christmas film, not even just a Christmas horror which is the reason why I watched it. This is a great Christmas movie to watch with the whole family or just by yourself.
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Elysium (I) (2013)
9/10
great sci fi action
26 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
yeah I thought this movie was great. I loved District 9 and looked forward to their next film. The critics were kind of split so I was a little worried but the movie turned out to be awesome. The action was intense and their were some great characters. The main character from the first movie returns in a totally different role and I thought he kicked ass. I don't usually like Jodie Foster so her being the antagonist made it alright. Matt Damon did a good job and the mechanic suit he wears gave the movie some very memorable action scenes. I also liked the story a lot about the elite deserting earth for a haven in space, keeping their advanced health care for themselves and leaving the poor too die. The movie held my interest completely and definitely lived up to what I expected.
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7/10
a childs play comedy
16 December 2013
I liked in the first 2 movies how chucky was actually scary. He was scary first and then would shout out some ridiculous one-liner. Now in the 4th Chucky movie they have removed anything scary from the movie and gone completely dark comedy. Fortunatly for the Chucky legacy this isn't exactly a bad thing. It's still fun to watch chucky go around murdering people even when the horror is removed. He's that great of a character. Now in Bride of Chucky we meet Tiffany who is played by Jennifer Tilly acting hotter than she actually is by showing as much cleavage as possible. She becomes the bride and they go on a killing spree together. Genius idea giving the fans the ridiculousness they crave. Even though bride of chucky feels like a parody of the originals it is still a fun time and ends with a great send up to another sequel!
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7/10
action packed unoriginality
16 December 2013
2013 for me seems to be completely over saturated with sequels and copy cats. I know people have been saying that for years but this year I have seen a lot. Its not necessarily a bad thing in my opinion though. Good movies leave people wanting more and therefor its understandable that movies like gangster squad are made. Right away and all the through I was constantly reminded of "The Untouchables", its influence on this movie are undeniable. A group of cops go above the law to bring down the mob. Once I accepted that and moved on I was entertained thoroughly. This movie has loads of action and lots of big name actors who keep it interesting. Most notably is Sean Penn who has a great performance as the mob boss. It makes me wish he played more characters like this because he definitely stuck out as the best. In the end I would call this movie a cross between the plot of "the untouchables" and the characters from something more comical like "Dick Tracy". Although it isn't as incredible as lots of gangster movies its still a good worthwhile watch.
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Solomon Kane (2009)
7/10
Religious blood bath
15 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I liked it but not as much as I expected. To be honest its about as good as their previous effort, Conan. Well made with lots of action but no real soul. This movie trys to be better in that department but ultimately fails. Sure the story has potential an is somewhat interesting, A warrior who sold his soul to the devil for ultimate power flees when the devil comes to collect. He then basically becomes a pilgrim and struggles to keep himself from falling back into the life of evil. I was interested and kept waiting to see where they went with it but it goes exactly where you expect without any real surprises along the way. Along the way we are also treated to boatloads of action and limb chopping gore but its not enough to make it a really over the top awesome movie. All in all I enjoyed it but wasn't amazed.
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Stalled (I) (2013)
7/10
great premise....
3 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This was a very competent film. The premise was incredible but it definitely worried me into wondering how they could pull it off. A guy surviving the zombie apocalypse from a bathroom stall. Funny, but could it fill a feature? In the end I would say that they pulled it off. The script went at a good pace, the zombies and gore looked good, and probably the best part was the lead actor who pulled off his role very well. The only problem that I would have with this movie though is that there wasn't anything that really put it over the top for me too make it overly memorable, besides the original premise of course. It satisfied but it didn't quite thrill me so for that it gets a 6.5. Its a movie that achieves what it set out to do and for that its a success in a genre (low budget independent zom-com) that can be very tricky to tackle.
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7/10
made me laugh = success
3 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I laughed a lot at this movie. Start to finish. Seeing Craig Fergeson on the front cover seemed like a no brainer for me but after a quick internet search I had second thoughts, which turned out to be wrong. currently I believe IMDb scores this movie higher than sites like criticker and flixster, I am not sure why as I felt it was much better than the majority of comedies out there. Craig plays the anti-Christ which gives him the opportunity to flood us with crude, inappropriate one-liners every time he is on screen. There are also lots of other recognizable actors who mostly play what the movie refers to as "reapers", pot smoking half zombies with sarcastic humour. Good stuff. The two leads are straight enough characters that keep the movie grounded yet their reactions to some of the hilarious plagues early on in the movie made for some good laughs. Overall I laughed constantly and that is the point of a comedy so good job to this underrated gem.
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Cold Prey (2006)
4/10
same old
11 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
pretty pointless movie. I liked the snowy setting that makes this a OK winter slasher but the movie is completely unoriginal and downright dumb most of the time. The characters are unlikeable and the story is ridiculous. A bunch of young adults get stranded and find an abandoned hotel in the middle of nowhere, where they get murdered one by one by a maniac with a pick axe. Of course they make dumb decision after dumb decision until they meet the uninspired mad man. The movie is tedious and boring. It looks like they had a decent budget for this movie, the gore effects were good but the kills were nothing new, and with the winter setting the movie is watchable but it is way too basic for me.
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8/10
still funnier than most
11 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
the second hangover felt old and unoriginal and the third feels even more so but it still made me laugh more than most comedies out there. There were lots of memorable hilarious moments even though they were treading on the same common ground. Zack galifikanisiicis delivers the one liners and Chow is back with a big part and made me laugh quite a few times. Sure it feels the same and we all want more but as far as comedies go the point is to make you laugh and this movie achieves that more than most other comedies and for that I feel its a success. The ending actually makes you wonder what a fourth movie would be like with the addition of a new character.
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Maniac (2012)
10/10
remakes that don't suck
5 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
this movie was awesome! it was down right dirty and nasty and brutal. Frodo goes around scalping chicks and becoming more and more insane by the second. The film follows basically the same plot as the original although this time it is from a first person perspective. This works out really great and just hearing Elijah's voice is creepy as hell and he truly looks like a maniac when you do get a glimpse of his reflection. That is another difference, Elijah. No longer do we have a big disgusting slob as the killer but this time its lil ol Elijah. This change could have been devastating but it really works. And then were the film truly is with the gore. They hold nothing back. Right from the opening sequence I knew I was in for one hell of a ride. Way more than one woman is murdered and scalped and it is done in ruthless fashion. This movie was creepy as hell and Elijah, Aja, and friends show us (once again in Aja's case) is that remakes can be great!
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6/10
not enough
5 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
the characters are good, the gore/kills are all good, they use different cool weapons but the movie is still missing that something it needs to become a good movie. I don't feel it was a waist of time or that it is a bad movie it just didn't quite do it for me. There is lots of tongue and cheek humour and a couple memorable moments but it never really made me laugh out loud or have anything over the top cool (the under water zombies were pretty cool though). It was kind of stupid humour but not quite crude enough for adults so it seems kind of lame. juan of the dead was OK and I could see if there are people out there who would enjoy it more than I did.
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The Gangster (2012)
7/10
fun
12 October 2013
Warning: Spoilers
the gangster is a Chinese gangster film set in the 50s. That alone sets it apart from the many others. It is very violent and fun to watch. At first I found it a bit confusing because of the crazy amount of characters but after I while I figured out who was who the film managed to hold my attention the very end. There are a lot of fights but most memorable are the knife fights especially the one where they are binded by their left hands. What I also thought the movie was successful at was making great characters. Each character had their own personality and they all had some sort of back story or side story that we explored. I liked the look at 50s Chinese gangster and the high level of blood and violence earns it extra points.
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