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The Sweeney (2012)
4/10
Not great, you slag!
21 December 2012
Would love to give this good ratings, was hoping to.. But.

Opening scene was beyond stupid. The bit in the middle was daft as hell.

And the less said about the ending the better.

Great acting, just very poor script and the director should go back to film school.. (does a director not have any control??)

Note to writer/director.. Never give that kind of daft opening if you want to be taken seriously..

Or daft ending..

Or daft middle bit...
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Assassin's Creed III (2012 Video Game)
Not happy
22 November 2012
I do not normally review movies or games. But I felt i had to with this one.

For a start, it does not feel like a game. I think about 70% is just video and story. Not bad when you are watching a movie, but a bit crap when you are playing a game.

Loved the last few Assassins creed. But when I get a game that takes 3 hours just to get the assassins gear then I have to ask some questions.

I had to watch and play 20mins of hide and seek with some kids before I got to that point. I hate to say it.. But, Really??!

The graphics were awesome, the story was great. The gameplay was good, for what gameplay there was in the game.

Sorry. Just very disappointed. Any agree?
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A Touch of Cloth (2012–2014)
1/10
Seriously?
29 August 2012
Please ignore the obvious good reviews from the writers. I am sure it is just the writers bumping this up and not the actors, cameramen, etc. I guess that anyone working on this drivel would want to forget about it very quickly.

Naked Gun, Airplane, Top Secret.. all those movies had some effort put in. But this? Jesus wept. My 4yr old nephew comes out with more witty remarks. I feel sorry for what you put those actors through.

A personal plea :

I can not write a good, funny movie. And you guys can not either. Please don't do it again...

But maybe if i could get paid.. I should get my nephews class to write me a few episodes..

P.S. Seriously?
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3/10
The simple review
11 June 2012
Only one way I can review this movie.

It is a film for 13 year old girls.

Not a Lord of the Rings kind.. more a Twilight kind..

The Trailer gives a wrong impression of the movie.

Theron is very good in this movie.

Snow White is not a good actress. (not even going to bother naming her)

The Dwarfs are just not entertaining. Such a waste of some comedy.

Had loads of anticipation for this movie, but I was very disappointed. In fact the movie kind of bored me. There were a few moments where the CGI was quite good, and Theron was great as the Queen, but sadly that was not enough to save the movie.
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