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List includes complete seasons 1-7. Rest will be added as they air.
List includes complete seasons 1-7. Rest will be added as they air.
The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Expected horror, got a melodrama about drug users and family life filled with lesbian sex
Series about as scary as a box full of unicorn toys. Characters so uninteresting I started rooting for the horror elements that were nonexistent to begin with. Every "horror" scene is just a cop-out. People wake from sleep, run away from the nasty things or just wait for the sounds to disappear. It got old already in the first episode and somehow the series just managed to go for worse and worse towards the end because apparently, the point was not the horror but how the horror side affects the daily lives of our cast and how it makes them live inside this cheesy melodrama where every new event is more try-hard sad and deep than the former.
It bored me
Yuasa Masaaki is either losing his touch or I have gotten tired of his never- changing style.
I admit I was never a fan of Kemonozume, but I liked his other series such as Yojouhan Shinwa Taikei, Kaiba and Ping Pong The Animation. His movie "Mind Game" didn't really impress me, but was still nearly as memorable as any of the other titles I have just now mentioned -even Kemonozume- and surely better than Yoru wa mijikashi (AKA this movie I am reviewing). And yes, I have seen everything he has ever done and speak as a person whose favorite series from 2010 used to be The Tatami Galaxy, I put it even above Katanagatari in ranking, and that year is still considered the best year for anime by many connoisseurs.
Yoru wa mijikashi reminds me of his short animated films. Or rather a collection of those. The movie is a mess, rushed, random and build illogical. Half the time it feels like he is trying to copy Satoshi Kon's (RIP) screen transitions (and failing miserably) and half the time it feels like he tries extremely hard to be original so he would get rank #2 as the most meme anime director after Shinbou Akiyuki. Also failing this miserably. Because of this, I already know this will be his least memorable work for me. Other than the dancing and drinking challenge scenes, I can't say I was left for many other moments to think back to.
I guess part of the reason why I can't even call this movie average is how it copies The Tatami Galaxy (one of the alternative titles is even called "The Maiden Galaxy"). The character design is "ripped off" from that work. It's sad that Yuasa couldn't manage to do anything more interesting and original than this. It's hard to understand why he wanted to put up a new animation studio and start it off with a work that goes back to his best direction 7 years back. I can only assume that this work is aimed for a completely new audience who doesn't expect anything from him. Maybe I am too harsh considering how many long-term viewers are praising this, but with my experience of nearly 1500 anime series, all I can say is "not recommended." Go watch any of his earlier works instead or pick up Uchouten Kazoku for similar experience with better execution and characters.
The Punisher (2017)
The best way to refer to a cliché series is a cliché sentence: Could Have Been Better
Superhero series and superheroes in generally were never my thing. Despite me having a thing for vigilantes and for characters who live their life the way they want without giving an eff, I have yet to see a superhero who I could call "my man".
Arguing against the praise and popularity is a fight that can not be won. It's still a mystery to me what makes black and white moral values, the concepts of right and wrong and seeing the exact same formula with the same tropes and clichés appeal to so many people. I have been viewing this phenomena the same way I view bronies. Both fans consist of people who want maturity within a simple world where every answer is either a yes or a no, and a story which target audience could be half the demographics' age.
The Punisher starts the same way as Iron Fist. Great premise, and for once a character who seems to be smart and not a shallow collection of clichés. Once again this didn't last for long. There where Iron Fist turned into utter garbage after episode 3, The Punisher has a much slower pace in turning the main character a typical capesh!t hero. It starts from assumptions of someone being "bad", followed by complete trust to someone who is seemingly "good" and ends with the lines "we are nothing alike". The lack of rational thinking and self-awareness from his part pretty much made me lose the rest of my respect towards his character.
Now is the time for IF's. Punisher would be a better character if he didn't have to constantly compensate for the other characters who are much worse. I am especially referring to the female cop to whom other characters refer as "total badass" and "a real deal", but this is completely against everything she herself does. Like the car wrecking scene where her boss says "everyone back there thinks you're a badass." I can bet my life that everyone is laughing and using the meme "woman behind a wheel" instead. It's clear that the writers knew she is boring and not a well-written character so instead they wrote bunch of verbal praise towards her to make her seem something other than garbage. I didn't buy it at all, and most of all, it made Punisher seem worse than he is because he praises such a boring character.
The final part I will complain about is how this series is tied to Daredevil. Now, Daredevil is basically a blind Batman who doesn't kill and the only difference between him and "villains" is his own belief to a moral high-ground. A prime example of superhero who I cannot respect. His lackey Karen is the one tying these series together, and she was the most annoying part of the series for me. Every time she is on screen feels like a filler. Her dialogue alone made me decide I would not be watching Daredevil season 3. It goes about like this: "You're just lonely and that is why you're doing this." "I am not lonely." "BS! Everyone is lonely!" This piece of dialog has been bugging me for over a day now. I still have no idea what she was trying to prove with this nor why it was in the series. If he is killing people because he is lonely and everyone is lonely, then are we all murderers? Is she the female Jaden Smith's twitter account?
Fanny och Alexander (1982)
Bergman's worst movie. Could be stock footage.
I saw the 6 hour 20 minutes long super extended cut for this movie. Movie which I've been planning to watch for years, but have always pushed the box set further and further back behind the front shelves. Now that I finally decided to give it some 7 hours of my life and watch it, I can't do much more than feel sick due to how much I wasted my time watching this garbage, and how much shorter it could've been.
This is basically Downton Abbey for people who prefer their movies "smart" and "tedious" so they can say the exact opposite from what really happened and act like there is something much deeper and complex and philosophical beneath the surface while the movie itself is actually so shallow and fragile even scratching its surface destroys the whole work because all it has is its shell. But wait, maybe this is why it is so smart and deep. It is so shallow and fragile, just like life itself. Very smart and deep and philosophical, would give 10/10 and call it a masterpiece because that's definitely what this movie is and not something I'd just use to justify my rating for it and call myself smart for liking it.
In a way, this is the predecessor of the movie Boyhood (2014). That movie is known as the most mediocre movie ever made, but also has metascore of 100/100, just like this movie. The main difference between these titles is that Boyhood can even mildly make the viewer identify with the main character's life and his problems there were Fanny and Alexander live their life in completely different type of mediocrity in a different time period, in a different world, which, based to this movie, is so boring I can't help but wonder how these people managed to die off for natural causes and not just kill themselves during their depressive boredom.
Unique and amateurish, but beautiful in its own way
Shortwave (2016) is on parallel with other amateur movies such as Primer (2004) and Coherence (2013). I am mentioning these two specific movies simply because this could be the 3rd big meme for that matter. Plus, it is better than either of those.
This film is less tedious and doesn't follow the basic "it's deep and I am smart for liking it" type of rating process quite yet, but I recommend giving it a go if you have better taste than reddit. For others, feel free to read my review few years after its original post date after seeing it on reddit/imgur under the caption "mindf#ck indie movies which you should watch" right between Primer and Coherence. Mark my words.
Wind River (2017)
Worst movie from 2017, even The Emoji Movie was less brain dead
Bad guys shoot, kill and rape because they are evil. 0 dimensional baddies whose only purpose is to make the viewer feel hate, but the act is so ridiculous you can only hate the writer for creating such sh!t.
Cops acts like they are characters from South Park parodying the worst and most cliché law enforcement scene from any movie ever, expect they are being serious and it is not funny. Pretty sure half of them had never seen a gun before.
I can't take this movie seriously in any way or form. It's utterly ridiculous and can only be viewed as an insult towards the viewer's intelligent.
South Park: Franchise Prequel (2017)
Current season has been fun, but this episode was terrible
Mark Zuckerberg was intentionally made a bad character whose only merit is that he is a terribly written character. The whole episode repeated Cartman's franchise plan which was already introduced 3 years ago I think. It was nauseating to see how every bit of this episode screamed that it's promoting the new upcoming game which will be released any day now. Rest of the episode felt like a remake filler which recycled the franchise plan. I didn't laugh even once nor did I think that any of the things that were pointed out about facebook, netflix or superhero series were spot-on. If anything, this was turn off ad for the new game. It's sad how we had to wait 2 weeks for this.
The Hero (2017)
Melancholy is the beauty itself
When I cry no part of me feels pain.
When I look back on my past, the mistakes, the lack of happiness and what could've been - I don't feel any regret.
The present is called the present because every moment is a gift, but I don't like gifts.
There is nothing I could do to harm myself. I am one with the world and the world knows no pain.
When I look at you, I understand myself a bit better. I am not a hero, You are.
**Best movie from 2017. This is my personal opinion based to the 54 movies from 2017 that I have seen thus far**
South Park: Holiday Special (2017)
This person is genetically 2,6% victim
South Park's newest season is a total hit, NO! - a homer. Best content since season 19. It matches perfectly the term "spot-on". Every party is getting mocked in equal terms in a way which perfectly parodies generic mindsets and internet culture's hottest topics. I can come up with 2 reasons to dislike this: living under a rock, no joke;get or total lack of self-irony. Well done boys, you're doing what Rick and Morty couldn't do for more than 2 seasons: creating quality entertainment.
Operation Dunkirk (2017)
Everyone who likes Nolantino should watch this movie
Operation Dunkirk (OD) is basically Dunkirk (D) without insane budget, good acting and the same score every Nolan's movie has. In other words, it's essentially the same, but no one likes it because you can't even recognize it's the same when it's not wearing makeup.
Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying that D was a piece of unwatchable entertainment. I simply mean that hardly any movie is smart, or amazing on its own. Terribly often - nearly every reviewer ever - rates all the factors 10/10 just because they happened to like a movie. There is no reason to pretend that movie such as OD is the worst thing ever created and D the best movie that came out in 2017 when neither clearly did anything exceptional to be called a masterpiece of awfulness nor a "real" masterpiece. You can say they are opposites, but really they are the same.
Cult of Chucky (2017)
Best horror comed... oh, it's not actually a comedy?
You can't tell me when to laugh! I am not the audience of an American talk show. Cult of Chucky (2017) is funnier horror comedy than Shaun of the Dead. It's on parallel with Zombieland.
The story takes place in this mental institute where this all genius doctor senpai uses very UNquestionable methods on his patients. He brings some kid-size murder dolls so person who has past experience with murderous dolls and dead children can learn to cope with the reality itself and get their mental illnesses tidied up and ready to go. Surprisingly lot of people die in a ways where they basically got shot in the back 7 times with a revolver and this doctor guy be like "yeah, it was a suicide."
I very much enjoyed this film because I want to be that doctor person myself and sleep my nights in utter piece of mind knowing I never did anything wrong. The world just happens to be full of lunatics who believe in living dolls, gods and other fairy tales.
Resident Evil: Vendetta (2017)
After watching all 3 animated movies in a row, this was easily the best one
I call nostalgia glasses and faded memories the symptom for everyone who cares to claim that the other movies were better.
Degeneration was entertaining, but not much more. Still average 5/10 as an action movie. Damnation was uninteresting and meh, clearly worse than average movies are and therefore worst of the 3. Vendetta was a) pretty b) a waifu simulator and c) had the coolest animated fight scene that didn't look like anime. d) That charged gun-shot was awesome.
Saying this is the worst animated movie is like saying RE0 is a better game than REmake; Resident Evil fan would never argue such.
The Big Sick (2017)
Felt like a tribute to the Netflix series, Master of None
The Big Sick (2017) is like a fragment of Master of None. There where Master of None has its pop-cultural references and Aziz's own inside jokes, The Big Sick inserted some 4chan-reddit memes such as the first 15 minutes of Up - and I have to say I loved all these little jokes - the movies knows its audience for sure.
I recommend this to anyone with a sense of humor, but furthermore I recommend Master of None to everyone who thought this movie was fantastic and original because you will surely love to know that there is a full series about the subject and the fans such as myself are currently waiting for season 3.
Movie as good as the original Season 01
SAO will always have its fanboys who never saw anything truly good and its haters who -for the first time yet- are realizing that a series with 9/10 average rating may not actually be as good as it's generally claimed. For person who has seen it all, such as myself, Sword Art Online doesn't impress with its good nor bad sides, it's just average, worth playing in the background while multitasking.
This new movie is rather similar to another average series and its movie, Deja vu. I am talking about Steins:Gate of course. SAO (2017) removed the transvestite bs which we saw in S02 and added some memory loss amnesia bs in it with the message that love is eternal and goes thru all the dimensions. In a way this is fairly similar to Christopher Nolan movie Interstellar (2014) except SAO (2017) is better because it has less logical failures, less pseudo-science and furthermore, doesn't try to be smart.
If you enjoyed any bit of SAO, there is no legit reason to dislike this movie -other than you have simply grown out of it. It's for certain less annoying than S02 and much less waste of time than the novels. Excluding clopping sound chapter.
Decent episode, funnier than most from last season
Hey guys, did you notice? South Park got political. Seeing how South Park has been all about mocking politics from season 1, one cannot help but to wonder did the average viewer only just now realize what politics are after politics have become the hottest topic on the internet?
It's literally like saying "hey guys, did you notice humans started polluting the earth in the year 2017?" or "hey guys, maybe our country isn't the best country in the world after all" Oh how much we care, how bad humans and South Park have become since just recently! It wasn't anything this bad in my youth, oh no, the world has changed and South Park too, not me, I am the same!
Basically every negative comment you hear about this specific episode being worse than all the other episodes comes from a person who has been inflicted by media and internet, but doesn't realize how much that has changed their own way of seeing things. I advice to watch again some older South Park seasons to see what type of political references you have missed in the past because they were there back then too, you just didn't understand them. South Park itself has a whole season about this effect with the 'membeberries. Irony much.
Baby Driver (2017)
Edgar Wright manages to make another memorable work, but still far from impressive
Shaun of the Dead was something new, especially back then in 2004. Hot Fuzz made him see like a one movie miracle. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World showed that he does after all have a vision. The World's End was his clearest peak being the 5th best movie from 2013 (out of the 113 which I personally saw). And now for the first time he became the center of massive hype with Baby Driver.
The movie rides a bit with character awe and badassery, something close to GAR even. It's been referred as simply "cool/cool movie", but that is true only for the first half.
After that we have romance as the main genre and the movie starts to suffer from massive quality drop. The movie seems to be quite lost at this point, making it seem like there was never a purpose for making this. Wasted potential is a good word to use here. The level of unoriginal and cliché reaches its utter max. This is something one would not expect knowing how Wright has been fairly original with his other works regardless of how well the originality paid out.
The characters turn out to be pretty much a mess. One of the strongest seems to have moral reasons, one simply goes evil because someone has to, another one simply goes fully out of character, main character and the love-dovey romance are protected by heavy plot armor because this needs to be a happy movie with a happy conclusion for some reason.
I will recommend this movie for its entertainment value, but if you have an eye for quality, except average and your expectations will be met.
I have never seen so many references in one movie before
The newest Transformers movie is not the worst movie of the year, but it certainly is the most widely hated. Knowing movie fans, it isn't hard to understand why. I do have a bit different opinion on this matter - not saying that this movie was good - but I did find it fascinating and even entertaining to watch for few reasons.
First one being the one in the caption. Even the transformer voice actors are basically something like eastern eggs or perhaps more fitting way to describe them is an inside joke. The characteristics we see on these transformers that they have given their voices are direct references to earlier live action roles.
When it comes to the most used movie tropes, I have to think they are direct parodies to other movies that "did it better" except they didn't. Take the dramatic flashback for example. Seeing how that was executed, I can't help but to think this movie is very self-aware with its own flaws. I'd call it something like being ironically un- ironic.
I actually have no idea what was happening in the movie. I was too busy trying to think all the intended spoofs and goofs, and why exactly a certainly actor was chosen for that specific role. It wasn't deep nor smart, no, but it was certainly fun, felt very rewarding for a person such as myself who has seen more than a fair amount of content from this medium, and made me understand 2 things:
1) Michael Bay is the next Tite Kubo. He simply doesn't care what people think about his work. All is fine as long as he is having a blast.
2) Michael Bay/the team behind this movie is very well aware of the industry's biggest memes. Seeing how well they did all those Downton Abbey references, I can't help but appreciate what I saw.
I will call this movie and average title, worth the time, it's only missing Shia vs. car engine kickboxing rematch.
Coyote Tales (1991)
Rarity and quality never walked hand in hand
This Disney movie has been considered lost - at least the English dubbed version - until now. A print of the movie was found and naturally I just had to give it a try because no one else has, yet.
The print itself is hideous. The average fps is about 5 frames a second. Once in every 5 second or so a random amount of black frames appear and block the screen. The audio from English voice acting to BGM and SFX are decent and the only reason why this only existing version is watchable, but still the audio has tinnitus type of noise which is constant and about 10dp more quiet than the intended sounds, making me to advice anyone with headache problems to stay away from this piece.
Which leads us to the next part. Is this worth of watching? Or more like would it be worth watching if there was a high quality option available. I'd say maybe for a hardcore Disney fan who wants to see more Pluto. I did quite enjoy how calming the coyotes voice actors sounded, but other than that it's better to find something else to do while watching this, multitasking is definitely a good advice for anyone who wishes to see this rare piece of animated film.
Kono sekai no katasumi ni (2016)
Adds nothing to the slice of life genre - mainly consist of melodrama
Kono Sekai no Katasumi ni is a combination of anti-war propaganda and slice of life silliness. The slice of life side is the other of the 2 Japanese do. They options being "dull comedy" and "cultural shock". Except if you have ever heard of Japan before, the cultural shock won't apply because this movie doesn't tell anything new about war nor Japan.
One would assume at this point that the movie relies on its strong characters. Would. What this movie does is make 2 separate entities with 2 different characters.. who happen to be a couple. The man goes to the anti- war arc which this movie has fever focus onto, and the woman, our main character, gets to live in the typical and boring slice of life settings - which we the viewers are doomed to follow for over 2 hours.
Unfortunately I have pretty much ran out of things to say already. I can only repeat the caption of this review. The movie turns into a yelling and melodrama sh!tshow because instead of writing anything worth of seeing, the production team relied to the seiyuu team whose job was to sound emotional and sad and cry because oh we in such pain here.
I am not very impressed by this movie. Even such mediocre Ghibli movies as Hotaru no Haka did a better job capturing the war. Even if that movie also relied on feels, at least it had something worth giving a damn about unlike in this movie which best part was the ending song - and that partly because it confirmed that the movie was finally over and no one would cry without any reason anymore.
Downton Abbey: Episode #6.8 (2015)
Worst Downton Abbey episode.
"The slow pacing is now gone and everything must suddenly change for whatever conclusion possible because the series is about to end."
-The writers of this series probably, possibly and apparently.
If you liked this episode, you have 0 understanding of the characters and you most likely never truly liked this show. Most of the characters had massive out- off-character behavior during the first part of this 2-part finale. Saying stuff and acting in a way they never would have acted in the first 50 episodes nor would they act like this now if they kept in character.
This sudden personality change on all the characters is cancerous and against everything else that has happened in the past 50 episodes. The shipping of Mary and mister car driver - who is the worst husband candidate yet and apparently the canon pairing of this finale - is nauseous and has ruined my day.
The quality drop is simply insane and a total disgrace. Any of the characters from the first 50 episodes would agree with me - not suitable. Seeing how IMDb has this episode ranked as the 3rd best Downton Abbey episode is a perfect example of how right the Dowager Countess of Grantham was and is about change.
Guardians of Bad Memes Vol. 2
The protectors of capesh!t, the heroes of PG-13 rated blockbusters, the knights of fartjokeverse / whatever you want to call it.
The plot of this sequel was most likely written by Butters from South Park. The characters are the same as well as the 5 years old visual effect. The movie was basically created by moving Chris Bratt from Parks and Recreation to Jupiter Ascending (the 2015 movie with Mila Kunis). Minus the comedy of course.
I recommend this movie to everyone who likes Marvel and DC because it's not like this is any better than Suicide Squad or any worse than Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy.
Rick and Morty: Pickle Rick (2017)
Made new Simpsons seem more appealing
I saw seasons 1-2 twice. Netflix stream and bluray. s3e1 I also watched twice, it made the hype real. Episode 2 was bearable even tho there was way too much Summer in it. Ep3 seemed like reddit circlejerk humor. Only one step away from "Morty, turn the pickle over" and when he does there is no Rick's face but a dickbutt. How funny. I am dropping this series.
Kimi no na wa. (2016)
Very typical and average story with a ripoff ending. Please read before downvoting.
This time Makoto didn't even try to go with originality. Pretty art, cliché time travel romance, BGM which you will forget instantly after finishing the movie and characters whose specialty is capturing the characteristics of every Japanese school kid. Cherry on the cake is the lackluster ending which was the perfect way to finish average story with average conclusion.
If we talk about the greatest love stories ever told, we look into Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles manga. It had the same time travel love story concept, and one of its 4 simultaneously ending time lines had this exact same ending in the stairs. Except there it was done right and here it is just a cliché. Pretty sure Makoto has read that manga and ripped off this ending from there. I am not very impressed. When it comes to the gender swapping, I have seen better anime series about cross-dressing.
Kimi no Na Wa may please some casual anime fans or people who in generally are not connoisseur of entertainment and the art mediums related to TV, literature and games. After over 1000 anime series, 1500 manga series, 2000 movies and 150 games, I can say this is an average movie which tells the same story which has been told times and times again. This is nowhere near the most impressive capturing of the tale, it's just average, but well worth the watch anyway.
I have been thinking about it for a week now
Despite me watching 5 airing TV series and 2 completed ones, seeing 3 movies and played one story-driven video game, I am still thinking about Anomalisa week after seeing it and all this other stuff. Keeping the rating at 5/10 has been an uncertainty for me, but I have now decided to call it a 6/10 work.
Anomalisa is definitely thought-provoking, unique and even memorable experience. The execution is very different from anything that's been done before. It feels heavy on substance even though it rides with the power of a single sentence.
Some would go as far as calling this a masterpiece. Some think it has nothing to offer. Should have been 40 minutes long short film instead. I will just say this: is not necessarily a must watch, but it is a must try.
Softcore pron without nudity and people talking about money like it's Jaden Smith's twitter account
This time Netflix tried to make the next Breaking Bad by adding some Wolf of Wall Street vibes in the mix and inserting an opening narration which implies the whole series is aimed for American audience only. Frankly, it cannot please even that audience.
Soon after the start it becomes clear that we do not have any good characters here. We have room for character development, but there is no reason to care. We have a guy whose life has so little substance they had to put in bunch of sex scenes which hold no purpose, add nothing to the story, premise, characters nor tell us anything about the purpose of this series. Only thing that is clear thus far is that our main character likes sex. And every bit of pron and sex he experienced is rated pg-13 and is your typical Hollywood sex act. If the sex has such a big focus in it, why not make it romantic or fetish heavy? This makes me wonder to whom is this series aimed for. 13 year old kids who can masturbate watching this while parental controls are on? Just waiting for the next all-clothes-on act since there is nothing else to look forward either.
Since I mentioned Jaden Smith and Wolf of Wall Street, you must be curious to know what these have to do with the series. Our mc talks about money like they do in TWOWS, but with the same philosophical talent as Jaden Smith asks how eyes can be real if mirrors aren't? There is no self-awareness nor reason to laugh at it ironically because the series fails at one more thing; to be extremely bad. If anything, this series is extremely not anything.