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The Expendables 2 (2012)
R.I.P. the 80's action heroes
Welcome all the IMDb users.As this is my first movie review on this site, i have picked up an ease sheep to slain. Do excuse my cowardice. The sheep in question...is The Expendables 2.I had the pleasure to view and quickly forget the first entry and wont be coming back that road again, but high ratings of the second entry made me bit curious, so i gave it a go. Big mistake.
First i need to state that although i do not feel that way, i am probably an intellectual.Like to disguise this fact by viewing some movies for their pure entertainment value.Guess the level of that one should fit into three starts this movie deserves. Maybe i am being too generous, since i would like to level down the high rating of this rubbish. Now...This movie can be watched once if you got nothing better to do with your life, although it exist for simple purpose...that is to give some thick pay check to some pensioners that are running short on elderly allowance.It is however an improvement to its first entry.Gone is shaky camera,bad language,cheap locations and chaotic action.It actually looks in the beginning, that it might be fun.
The opening sequence is sort f fun in brutal,life disregarding way,with few inside jokes /i did enjoy the funny lines sprayed on their cars...coming soon, knock knock./Silvester Stallone does look like having a prostate problem, trying hard to hold his urine for the period of longer shots,with a bad wig and cardiovascular coronation and everything. The rest of the cast is sadly left behind in most scenes,Jet Li disappears after fun scene with frying pens for the rest of the movie.And the person being saved at the end is no other than BIG Arnie /Yes he is back and we'll be reminded of that several times during the movie/and yes it is kind of embarrassing.But this is a pointless fun movie, so lets not dwell on details and move on. After forgettable plot exposition and many minutes later,we meet this movie Villain. Jean Claude Van Damme.
Now although most of these 80's dinosauruses looks like they have been through lots of punches in their times and need retirement...he as the villain holds a steady ground and stands up as a character and not an caricature. Hemsworth brother Liam is also likable character,but is expanded in a memorable way and gone of sight too soon.The heroine and romance /?/interest is also quite flat and implausible fighter...but so is most of this plots action. Well we are not here to think.Lets be fair and state that most characters get at least one scene worth of their appearance. But some of them do stand up and deserve more. Dolph Lundgren was the best and should get a chance as a lead role again somewhere. Jason Statham fight scene in the church.Bruce Willis fires few shots too.Also Chuck Norris makes good parody of himself in over the top scene, that is actually funny as it is ridiculous and him being the oldest of the bunch, appears as the freshest of the lot.But the boredom gap between exposition and final Battle is wide and numbing.Gives one lots of time for laughing at impossible plot development /A huge 5 tons plutonium mine with trams and everything,being dig by handful of villagers, whilst their estranged wives sit at home,learning to speak fluent English...and country government does not even notice/
Anyway...all gets saved by one man Commando Arnie,that does look like a bad waxwork of himself that really should have stay in the museum as the rest of all.As lines and shot references /death man going through the x-ray scanner=Total recall/ grows every so repetitive and self serving.Final shoot them all sequence goes way beyond of all that. Suddenly we are watching a parody of our once beloved action heroes...actually acted by them...an expensive joke if you ask me.But maybe i got it all wrong and this is a parody and not a serious action movie and maybe i should stick with Bunuel and avoid movie like this.I am sure there are many kids that will find this movie revolutionary and simple folks find it mind blowing and i should join these guys in the museum...who knows, i need to let you people to judge for yourself.Thank you...