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Out West with the Hardys (1938)
a step back
Judge Hardy gets a letter from a former flame. She needs legal help for her family's Arizona ranch. Their neighbor holds their water rights. Andy (Mickey Rooney) is getting conceited. Mom is obsessed with spring cleaning and growing frustrated. The Judge decides to bring the whole family out west for a break.
Judy Garland is gone. Andy takes a step back. The whole franchise takes a step back. At least, Andy gets his comeuppance in the end and Jake has some fun with him. This is not the best idea. It's an excuse for Andy to dress up as a cowboy and for Marian to kiss one. This is basically a family sitcom deciding to go on a trip to spice things up to start the new season.
Love in the Forecast (2020)
Hallmark weather channel
Leah Waddell (Cindy Busby) is the cute on-air TV weather girl. She is not treated seriously by the older meteorologist. She swears off dating to concentrate on work and school. She moves out of her parents' home and into her own place. Mark Crawford (Christopher Russell) is her hot new neighbor and men are suddenly everywhere pursuing her.
Cindy Busby is super cute and Christopher Russell is super hot. That's really the only thing happening in this Hallmark romance. It's these two hot people making googly eyes with each other and smile a lot. It should be doing something more with the weather but it's all rather haphazard and not serious. It's like the weather channel. Some people leave it playing in the background. That's what should be done with this movie.
Rifkin's Festival (2020)
basic Woody
Former film professor Mort Rifkin (Wallace Shawn) is reticent to go to the film festival in San Sebastian. He suspects that his wife Sue (Gina Gershon) has the hots for their travel companion director Philippe (Louis Garrel). He's stressed out and goes to Dr. Jo Rojas (Elena Anaya). He has always wanted to write a book but has never accomplish the task.
The character never achieves anything. In a way, that's how I feel about the movie. It rattles around but at the end of the day, he's not doing anything. I love Wallace Shawn and normally, I love his energetic personality. In this one, his character falls flat. It's a Woody Allen film and the character has his neuroticism without his humor. He dreams in films. He really should go off with Jo and ride into the sunset. If he ever pulls a great catch like that, he needs to pull it into the boat. The conversation with Death is too obvious and after some attempts at humor, it goes nowhere fast. It is an old guy asking questions and giving nothing in return. This is basic Woody and I'm getting a little tired of it.
10 to Midnight (1983)
serial killer police procedural
Lieutenant Leo Kessler (Charles Bronson) is a police detective in L. A. under Captain Malone (Wilford Brimley). His new partner is green detective Paul McAnn (Andrew Stevens). Warren Stacy (Gene Davis) is a disturbed serial killer who carefully plans his kills. He quickly becomes a prime suspect but his careful plans give him a solid alibi. Leo's daughter Laurie Kessler (Lisa Eilbacher) was his last victim's former best friend. Soon, she becomes his next target.
This was critically skewered for its crassness, its nudity, and its brutal violence back in the day. Aside from the nudity, it's basic network TV police procedurals now. Its bigger problem is its slower pace. The edits need to be quicker. There is no mystery to the killer. There is a functional cat-and-mouse police investigation. A sharp eye will spot Kelly Preston as one of Laurie's nursing friend. This is okay B-movie trying to be Dirty Harry.
Dual (2022)
dead-pan sci-fi
Depressed Sarah (Karen Gillan) wakes up in a bloody mess. Suddenly, she is incurably dying. She decides to clone herself and have her double take her place after death in a process called Replacement. Everything is thrown up in the air when she is miraculously returned to normal health after a few months. By law, only the dying is allowed to have a double. A public dual will decide which one lives and which one dies. Trent (Aaron Paul) is hired as Sarah's combat trainer.
The tone is cold and depressed. Filmmaker Riley Stearns has a dead-pan style. I like his previous movie, The Art of Self-Defense, a little bit more. I found that one to be slightly humorous which this one doesn't really have. This is like a short story from an old-time sci-fi magazine. In that way, I would like Riley to take a page from a recent success such as Ex Machina. Bring the story into a closed location. Have the number of characters reduced. He needs to have more scenes with Sarah and her double. This is an interesting sci-fi flick but it does need something to wow the audience.
My Secret Valentine (2018)
safely Hallmark
Chloe Grange (Lacey Chabert) manages an upscale Portland restaurant. She comes home to Oregon wine country for a visit during Valentine's Day Wine Festival. Her father announces his retirement and plans to sell to a box wine company. Company representative Seth Anderson (Andrew Walker) knows nothing about high end wines. The family cabin has been rented out and unbeknownst to either side, Seth is the renter.
It's Hallmark, Valentine, and wine. They seem to be connected somehow. It's fine. Chabert and Walker are Hallmark veterans at this point. They can do this in their sleep. This is safely in the standardized TV romance mold.
Crashing Through the Snow (2021)
actual stakes
Maggie Collins (Amy Acker) is set to spend a rare Christmas without her daughters. Her ex-husband Jeff Randall (Kristian Bruun) and girlfriend Kate Reynolds (Brooke Nevin) are bringing them to her family's Aspen home. Before Sam could stop her, Kate invites Maggie. Sam Reynolds (Warren Christie) is Kate's charming brother.
This is not the usual Hallmark fare. There is real stakes imbedded in the premise. Normally, this would be a fight to the finish between Maggie and the villainous Kate with a final reconciliation to conclude the story. The fact that this is Hallmark complicates matters a bit and I'm not sure the mixture the film decides upon. They do keep the conflict at a good simmer but never at a boil. The kids give this movie actual stakes but Hallmark does prevent it from turning into actual conflicts.
Snoopy Come Home (1972)
used dog
The gang spends their summer at the beach. Charlie Brown keeps berating Snoopy to little effect. Snoopy gets kicked off the beach when a new No Dogs Allowed sign is put up. He receives a letter and sets off on a journey with Woodstock.
I love this except the ending. Snoopy could help the girl get better but he shouldn't go home with her. I've never really like accentuating this tension between Snoopy and Charlie Brown. It's fun if it's kept to a joke. It's not fun when it rises to a major conflict. Otherwise, I really like this. I even like the music.
Documenteur (1981)
French film
Frenchwoman Emilie (Sabine Mamou) struggles to pull her life together in L. A. She left her partner and has to find a place for her and her young son. This is a French film located in America. It's done in a documentary style. It's a slice of her life but it's not really hooking me in. It's interesting but not really.
An Unexpected Christmas (2021)
average Hallmark
Exes Jamie (Tyler Hynes) and Emily (Bethany Joy Lenz) coincidentally end up at train station at the same time. His family picks them both up not realizing that they had broken up. He convinces her to keep the break-up a secret to not spoil everybody's Christmas.
This is a Hallmark Christmas movie. The premise needs a better and more imaginative setup. It's a basic bad coincidence. The leads' chemistry is functional but the heat is limited. This relationship is well past its beginnings and doesn't have a meet-cute to gin it up. It's average Hallmark at best.
Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown (1977)
no adult supervision
The Peanuts gang heads off to summer camp. They battle bullies in boat race down the river. I know times are different back in the 70's but this is still rather ridiculous. These kids are almost killed multiple times and no adults are ever in sight. It's the gang. I don't think I know the bullies. It's Peanuts at its 70's best.
Time for Them to Come Home for Christmas (2021)
one false move
A woman (Jessy Schram) suffers amnesia after getting hit by a car. She doesn't even remember her own name. Sheriff Crowley (Lochlyn Munro) tries to uncover her identity. All they have is a newspaper article about a tree lighting event. Despite having no memories, she decides to go to the tree lighting in hopes of finding herself. Her nurse Paul Bennett (Brendan Penny) offers to drive her.
Jessy Schram always has this fragile look which works really well for this type of character. I know that she and Paul have a tiff but he cannot just walk away from her. They could be kidnappers for all he knows. He has to be her protector. Of course, the film does that for dramatic reasons but it's not a good look for him. It's the movie's only false note and the last twenty minutes suffers for it. It feels false when the rest of the movie is trying so hard for sincerity. Otherwise, I like this for Hallmark.
The Princess (2022)
lots of fights, not much story
The Princess (Joey King) is imprisoned in the tower to be wed to usurper Julius (Dominic Cooper). The Princess is independent-minded and has been training to fight in secret despite her father's disapproval. She escapes from her bondage and battles her kidnappers.
This is more or less a fighting film reel for Joey King. She gets to do a lot of stage fighting. She's a good lead actress. Otherwise, there isn't much to this movie. I bet you the script is no more than twenty pages and most of it is The Princess fights. Even the production design is limited. I don't know anything about these writers or director. The fight choreographer will probably get some more work after this.
Paint (2020)
some good skewering
Dan Pierson has graduated from art school but nobody wants his art. It's not dark enough. He comes up with an unusual idea. He has to paint his mother nude. This is an indie of three friends from art school struggling to make it in the New York art world.
There is some good skewering of the art world. The only problem is that I don't really care about these characters. Some of that is probably the no name actors. A lot of it has to be my dislike of Dan's self-righteousness. If I actually care about these people, this would be a compelling watch.
You, Me & the Christmas Trees (2021)
good chemistry, needs better tree mystery
Olivia (Danica McKellar) is an arborist. Jack (Benjamin Ayres) is struggling to save his family tree farm. He rear-ends her and it's heat at first bump.
The chemistry is good. The trees is an interesting idea for a mystery. There is an obvious reveal to be had. Dwayne is being too obvious. The tree mystery could be tightened up to be a real mystery. Otherwise, the Hallmark romance is fine although Jack is too angry with his obsession. This works if it could work a bit better.
Christmas at Dollywood (2019)
Dollywood Hallmark
Rachel Davis (Danica McKellar) is told by her boss to take a break and go home to Tennessee for Christmas. She takes her young daughter back home which is close to Dollywood. She interviews to put on an anniversary Christmas event for Dolly. She gets hired with Luke and they have to work together.
At least, I get to visit Dollywood. I've never been there and that's all I want from this movie. It would be nice if Dolly has a bigger role. She should be a real character. It would be nice if we do more with Dollywood. This seems to be begging for more musical performances. There definitive should be more music instead of jamming it all into a small section. The lead couple is fine but there is little heat. There is too little of everything.
One December Night (2021)
two older veterans
Mike Sullivan (Peter Gallagher) and Steve Bedford (Bruce Campbell) are former best friends and best selling musical act. It's been ten years since they had a big blow-up split. Quinn Allan (Eloise Mumford) is told to reconnect with her estranged father Mike and come up with a reunion show. He had become a semi-recluse. Jason Bedford (Brett Dalton) is Steve's son and manager.
This is a much more compelling story for the two older actors. It's not the standard Hallmark story and yet it keeps trying to make it so. The young couple isn't that compelling. This is a father-daughter movie or a movie for the two older veterans. This could have turned into a musical with Gallagher and Campbell having fun playing their music. This should not be the standard Hallmark. That part does hold this back.
Lunch with a Punch (1952)
young Popeye
Bluto shows up unannounced looking for a date with Olive Oyl. She tells him that she already has a picnic date with Popeye and his nephew. On that date, Popeye recounts his childhood with Olive and Bluto to his nephews.
I don't always like the nephews but this one is pretty good. The young Popeye flashbacks are good. It's great to have his girly hair which is begging for Bluto to bully. As far as Famous Studios, this is as good as it gets.
You Said a Mouthful (1932)
Joe E. Brown comedy
Lowly shipping clerk Joe Holt (Joe E. Brown) gets bullied at work. He inherits an estate from his rich aunt Minnie but it's all vanished. He does gain a ward in Sam Wellington, the son of her loyal servant. They end up homeless and jobless. Alice Brandon (Ginger Rogers) spots him in the harbor to Catalina Island. She mistakes him for a different Joe Holt. The water-phobic Joe is assumed to be the swimming champion Joe Holt and is expected to compete in a swimming race. Macho Ed Dover challenges him and Alice is desperate for him to beat Dover.
Joe E. Born has his gaping mouth and facial comedy. The premise is functional screwball comedy. It doesn't really make sense that he gets up after coming up with his great injury excuse. It would take a lot more to get a rise out of him. It would take Ginger Rogers sexing it up. This is pre-Code after all. The premise loses steam over time. This is fine but nothing that great.
The Siege of Firebase Gloria (1988)
solid B-movie
It's 1968. The Tet holidays is approaching and a ceasefire is expected. Hardnosed Sergeant Major Bill Hafner (R. Lee Ermey) leads a weary squad into a village where almost everyone has been massacred. They guard the remote Firebase Gloria and struggle against a tough guerilla campaign. Their superiors don't expect the coming full scale onslaught.
The production is Australian and filmed in the Philippines for Vietnam. I doubt that there is much involvement from the American military although they probably rented a lot of stuff from the Philippines military. It has lots of guns, men, and explosions. They're not filmed in the most exciting ways. It's a lot Rambo style mass shootings. It's a B-movie, but at least it's a solid B-movie.
The Lost Colony of Roanoke: New Evidence (2022)
incremental archaeology
A group of archaeologists and volunteers try to dig for the lost colony of Roanoke. The Croatan legend invokes a story of natives massacring stranded white settlers in the lost earliest colony. This is a two-episode TV show. It really needs to lay out the mainstream understanding of the legend. Not everybody is familiar with the story or its use by unsavory aspects of white power establishments. Instead, this is left to the second episode and the closing part of the show. As for the archaeology, it does provide some interesting insights but nothing that definitively overturns the legend or rewrite history. It's another piece in the world of incremental archaeology.
The Kids in the Hall (2022)
older and more nude
All five kids have returned for a revival of the 90's cult show. Even Bellini has returned. Everybody is older. David and Kevin going full frontal is shocking. It's almost a nod to pushing the envelope. These are five white male Canadians and the question becomes what's new to do. It's also interesting that not all of their most iconic characters are getting a renewal. One can sense that the guys are looking to add to the repertoire rather than doing a simple Nostalgia Tour. If they do an old song, they are likely to add a few new words to the lyrics. The first season has eight episodes and it's unknown if there is to be a second.
Changing Planet (2022)
environmental doc
This is a BBC 2-part show with conservationists and scientists detailing local environmental damage from climate change. This is trying to look at the global issue with ground level stories. While they may interesting, they still need to connect to small local stories with the bigger global situation. It would help to show these individual locations on a map and how climate change is altering these places. This show need to connect the two sides more specifically. I am afraid that this is only singing to the choir.
Cimarron (1960)
big early land rush
It's 1889. Sabra Cravat is a sheltered woman newly married to Yancey "Cimarron" Cravat (Glenn Ford). Cimarron has done many things in the west and is eager to join the Oklahoma land rush.
This has an epic land rush section. The masses of people and horses are very impressive. It's a great sequence and it's over at the forty minutes mark. After that, it's almost two more hours of western melodrama. This has two Oscar nominations, both for technical categories. Again, the big production does showcase that aspect of the film. The story is somewhat take it or leave it. I'm mostly leaving this other than the land rush. I don't particularly like Cimarron even though he's a good guy. It's the naked Sabra with the boys. That scene rubs me the wrong way. The epic land rush is good old fashion filmmaking and I can live with the rest of it.
Sacred Wonders (2019)
fascinating for both the places and the people
It's a 3 episode miniseries looking into various religious sites around the world and the people's connection to them. It's a fascinating travelogue but the more fascinating part is the people. I can imagine many more places and many more local customs. This show has a lot of room to grow and it would be an important show to document these traditions. I don't know if three episodes are all we get but I would like more.