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Incredibles 2 (2018)
5/10
Incredi-bornings
26 June 2018
The movies feels like it is trying to take on too many stories at once, unlike the first title that focused on one specific plot, the Incredibles 2 has about two or three plots it jumps to, from scene to scene.

Many of the characters are super annoying, especially the children. None of them appear to act their age in any capacity.
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1/10
Garbage
13 June 2018
I have no idea why people are reviewing this film as well as they are. Maybe it has something to do with it coming from a 3rd world mudhole with virtually no budget? Maybe it's the same idiots who seem to think 'The Room' is "so bad it's good"? But me, personally, I found nothing enjoyable about this film.

The writing for the story is impossible to follow, the scenes makes no sense. It literally just feels like a series of short clips, none of which have anything in common, where just kind of edited together.

The acting is terrible and you can tell that every single one of the actors is locally sourced. You'll see the same people over and over again, even if they were killed. Sometimes you'll even see cases of people killing themselves.

Special effects? There is nothing "special" about the effects. It looks like they were drawn on with MS Paint.

The virtual joker is terrible. It's a commentary track that never stops and cannot be disabled. Often times it NEVER makes any sense. It is't funny, it isn't clever, it's annoying and frustrating.

I can already hear the haters making excuses for the film. And I hear you, I get it. There's a lot about this film that should be admired. The writer and director sold everything they had just to afford the camera they used to shoot the film.

But that doesn't excuse the sloppy, terrible writing and completely unhinged plot. I really feel films like this are really just fodder for pretentious reviewers to beat themselves off to. 'I Hate Everything', a youtube reviewer who is well known for being a jerk online called this movie "art". There is nothing artistic about this film, there is nothing enjoyable about this film, I have no idea how anyone can justify recommending this film to anyone.
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Demon House (2018)
1/10
Garbage
21 May 2018
I honestly can't believe there are so many people giving this film a 10 out of 10. I choose to believe many of these reviews are simply shills that were either part of the filming crew or friends of people related to folks working on the film.

This movie appears to be completely and utterly full of nonsense. I would go as far as saying fraudulent. There's a huge difference between a documentry and a dramatization of events that happened and clearly the people producing this film don't know the difference.
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3/10
Neat idea, lazy, cliche writing.
9 April 2018
I was originally mislead by this anime, due to the fact it starts off in an oddball way that suggests it's going to be more akin to a comedy, fantasy adventure that focuses on cooking. They had some interesting early characters that seemed more like enemies from One Piece more than anything else.

That quickly changed within the second or third episode and the anime basically devolved into a cooking drama with some bits of comedy here and there. At first I was disappointed with the direction the anime looked like it was moving in, but then that changed.

While the anime wasn't what I expected it to be from the first episode, it still seemed pretty good, the writing seemed decent and more importantly, the plot moved quickly.

Unfortunately, every season after that just continues to go down hill. It's more like a dramedie by season four, but it's not really written funny, the series just relies on a lot of overused anime tropes and funny faces more so than anything else.

The fan services has continued to get worse and worse with every episode. At first it started off with once in awhile and it has now gotten to the point, someone's clothes aret eploding off their bodies from eating some noodles or something every single episode. This just feels lazy, like they can't even rely on their own writing to keep the viewer's attention and instead has to rely on sex.

I had high hopes for this anime, but by season four it just falls flat on it's face.
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2/10
Not great
1 April 2018
I can't believe this movie currently has a 5 out of 10, which implies it's at least worth watching.

The story is stupid, it makes no sense and the writing jumps all over the place. The comedy aspects of the film are cringey at best, not once eliciting so much as a smirk from me.

The "gore" aspects of the show may be some of the cheapest I've ever seen.

It's not funny, it isn't clever, I don't see how this movie is rated as well as it is.
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Dead Heat (1988)
8/10
Buddy Cop Film & Army of Darkness combined
1 February 2018
The title says it all, a 80's buddy cop film mixed with a dash of army of darkness. Someone is reanimating the dead and using them to commit crimes.

When a detective is killed on the job, his friend uses a machine to bring him back from the dead. Now the chase is on as they search for the person responsible.
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1/10
Garbage
1 February 2018
This is a terrible, low budget horror flick that has nothing to do with the original film series either.

Don't get me wrong, I love horror films, zombie flicks, I enjoy b-horror films and horror comedy.

The issue is, this film isn't funny and it's hardly a horror film. And for a film that is supposed to be about a cannibalistic bioweapon, there is a complete and utter lack of gore or violence (or even blood for that matter), which is a key ingredient for these sort of crummy, low budget horror films.

I have no idea how they managed to get a 'R' rating for this film. Without a ounce of blood on screen and only mild swearing, this has got to be one of the dumbest, 'PG' zombie flicks I have ever seen.

Whoever wrote this crap and directed it should be ashamed.

It's like one of the worst, half-arsed PG versions of a horror movie I have ever seen in my life.
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4/10
Night of the falling asleep.
24 January 2018
Night of the Creeps is kind of a scifi/horror hybrid. Night of the Creeps could also be considered a zombie film.

When aliens dump some sort of expirment on earth, it unleases these alien slugs that take over their victem's bodies and uses them to expand their ranks.

I'll be honest, this film is a real slow burner. It takes a long time to get to the point, which is the zombies. Most of the film you are going to be introduced to the human characters and the drama that surrounds their lives.

When you finally do arrive at the zombie hoards, it's a little underwhelming. While the special effects are fairly good, there's very little shown violence, simply implied violence and puddles of blood.

On top of that, a majority of the zombies don't actually pose much of a threat, simply shambling around, moaning and groaning. They don't make any real attempts at killing or eating their victems. There's really only one zombie that really poses a threat and that's because it has a ax it randomly swings around.

There's a reason why Night of the Creeps didn't do well in the threater, it foucses more on the characters and their lives than the action, blood and gore that should be ever present in a zombie flick.
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Possession (1981)
1/10
Slow, boring, waste of time.
11 December 2017
After finding this on a "Top 10 Body Horror Films" list, I decided to give this movie a go, based on the scant few images I managed to find online.

The general idea is about a married man who is having problems with a unfaithful wife, who appears to be slowly going more and more insane as the film goes on.

It actually isn't until well over halfway through the film that the movie ever actually takes on any sort of aspect that is even remotely similar to any sort of horror film. And as soon as it does, it makes no sense whatsoever, which includes the ending.

Long winded, boring, this are just a few words I use to describe this film. The pacing is awful, the writing is awful, even the actors are awful. I can't believe I wasted my time watching this film.
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The Stuff (1985)
4/10
Awful Movie
11 December 2017
The stuff is a b-horror film from the mid 80's. It is classified as a "body horror film". The general idea is that a substance is found that is one of the best tasting products in the world, but it is actually a living, hive mind creature intent on taking over humanity.

After reading rave reviews about 'The Stuff', I decided to give it a go. I was raised on horror films from the 80's and 90's and am a gore hound at heart. The stuff was listed as one of the top body horror films of the 80's and it intrigued me.

But it wasn't anything that I expected. For a body horror film, the stuff is incredibly non-violent. There are a few scenes that may be slightly disturbing, but it's few and far between. Further, the film suffers from terrible writing and characters that making completely stupid decisions. Scenes jump all over the place, the overall plot hardly makes any sense.

A great example is when the main character Moe is trying to expose the stuff as a dangerous substance, so while trespassing on private property, instead of taking photos for evidence he decides he has to steal one of their trucks as evidence.

I mean, what?

Or how about how the film makes it look like that the entire population is in love with The Stuff, only to broadcast a radio show that says it's bad and suddenly they manage to just make it all go away? I mean really.

I am no stranger to old horror films, but The Stuff is just absolutely absurd and boring in almost every capacity.
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8/10
Decent little horror/comedy romp.
10 December 2017
On a lazy Saturday night, I came across a film that piqued my interest, "Ghosts of Darkness".

The premise starts off simple enough, a ghost hunter and a medium are invited to a house to prove that it isn't haunted. Each are offered $50,000.00 USD to spend three days within the house and at the end declare the house is safe from any sort of paranormal activity.

The two investigators are at odds almost immediately upon meeting one another. One a staunch skeptic, the other a whimsy medium. As they spend the days (and nights) in the house, it becomes very clear everything isn't as it once appeared to be.

You can tell this is a budget b-horror film from the get go, but that isn't always a bad thing. The cinematography is of average quality, the special effects aren't terrible and the two actors are actually really good.

This film has a lot of comedy in it and when I first started watching it, it almost had a "Beetlejuice" vibe to it.

Further (and this is my favorite part), the writers took time to explain almost every aspect of the film, from character's back stories, to the house's history, why it was haunted and wrapped it all up in a decent little package.

I'll be blunt, this will NOT be the best horror/comedy you'll ever see. But it won't be the worst either. It's worth giving it a go if you need to get your horror fix on.
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We Go On (2016)
7/10
Decent Flick.
9 December 2017
A man who is scared of just about everything in the world, but most afraid of dying, searches for proof that life after death exists out there. Offering a $30,000.00 reward for any evidance, he begins interviewing people in search for the truth.

When all reliable avenuess fail him, he reaches out to a mysterious caller who claims he can show him ghosts. From there, things escalate out of control.

Have you ever browsed the b-horror film section of your local rental places in the late 90's and early 2000's? Every once and awhile you'll find a gem, hidden in the rough.

We Go on is one such gem.

The cinematography is passable. The actors were believable and the audio and musical scores were accetable. The story, while stunted in some parts is still enjoyable enough to warrant a full watch without being boring.
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4/10
Amityville in title only.
8 October 2017
Amityville the Awakening is finally here after many, many push-backs and delays. Was it worth the wait? Well like many films that use the Amityville name, not really.

The cinematography is fine, the actors are okay. One of the biggest issues with the film itself is the audio, there are plenty of scenes where dialog is drowned out by background sound.

The film starts off on a good step, using what looks like old police footage to explain about the Defeo murders, unfortunately from there the movie makes a steady decline into worthlessness.

Instead of making the movie about the house, murders and haunting, they choose to focus on a bratty girl and her vegetable of a brother. The haunting takes a back seat to the family drama, which makes the movie even worse. Poor pacing, poor writing, the movie is less than thrilling.

Let's put it this way, there's a reason why they opted for a limited theatrical release and putting it up for free on Google play in October through December. It's a film even the producers and directors can't stand behind.

The reality is, the original Amityville was popular because it was portrayed as a true story, so the family drama was more humanized. With these other films, it's about the horror and this film completely ignores that.
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6/10
Meh
6 October 2017
A co-worker knew I liked Gravity Falls and told me to look into a new series called "Welcome to the Wayne".

So watching a few episodes, it's not really my cup of tea. To begin with, the TV series starts off right from the mini series and as a result, there's missing information you would otherwise need to know to understand some of the stuff they are talking about.

Ignoring that, the animation is fine, the voice actors are fine. There's no complaint there. What is a complaint is the fact the show doesn't feel like it has any sort of build up, since they really just throw all the information in your face right up front, so as far as a "mystery" cartoon goes, it's not very mysterious. It's more along the lines of Scooby Doo quality.

So when I was talking about Gravity Falls, there's two siblings in Welcome to the Wayne just like Gravity Falls. Their personalities are also similar in a lot of ways.

As a replacement for Gravity Falls it fails on all fronts.
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6/10
Decent found footage horror flick.
9 September 2017
So I was looking for something to watch and came across Hell House LLC and decided to watch it after checking it's ratings online. I am well aware of the 'found footage' genre that has become a normal horror movie cliché and while I have enjoyed some in the past, a majority of them, I do not like.

Hell House LLC is one of the ones I liked.

The film is part found footage and part documentary mixed into a sort of surreal horror film. The fact that the film takes place in and around a pop-up Halloween haunted house only allows them to use weird and creepy effects without expecting people to suspend belief.

The movie has a decent pace, the actors are your average run of the mill B-Horror cast.

The writing is fine, but it's another one of those films that explain nothing and I really hate that.
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1/10
Completely stupid.
12 July 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Stupid and without context, if you enjoy watching a film with poor quality and crappy music playing over everything, then this is the film for you.

Have you ever watched a film with no dialog? What about a film with no dialog, with terrible music and completely random scenes happening? One moment people are having sex, the next moment there's a black dude in a suit waving at you.

Completely stupid.
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Another Evil (2016)
1/10
Awful Movie
5 July 2017
As a bad budget horror film, it feels like this movie starts off okay enough. It's not exactly bad. But as the movie introduces Oz and his crazy antics, the movie just gets worse and worse.

The reality is, as a idea, this movie isn't bad at all, executed, this movie is terrible and has no redeem qualities.

I strongly believe all of the positive reviews comes from people directly related t to the film.
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Dawn of the Croods (2015–2017)
1/10
Stupid.
7 June 2017
Lazy, stupid, uninspired, these are a few things to describe "Dawn of the Croods". Based off of a decent 3D animated cartoon, 'The Croods', the television excursion of the franchise offers none of the heart, soul or even animation from it's predecessor.

The art is passable, but bland and unimaginative.
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2/10
Was not impressed.
19 March 2017
This was a really weird film. When I first heard of this film, the description would have you believe that this was a paranormal horror flick, that isn't the case int he least.

I don't normally watch foreign films with subtitles, but I needed something new to watch and the reviews on IMDb gave me the impression it would be something I'd find enjoyable. I wasn't really impressed with the movie.

This film is more like a thriller/Suspense film. It strings you along making you believe it is one kind of film and then it suddenly turns into some sort of weird scifi time travel film that makes no attempt at actually explaining itself.

The actors were fine, the cinematography was acceptable. It was just a poorly written film. It was a lackluster film that tries to impress with a weird "twsit" and all it did was leave me unsatisfied.
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Unadulterated garbage of the highest order.
4 March 2017
What a waste of time, what a load of garbage. There is NOTHING redeeming about this "film". There's not a single good thing I can say about it.

Riding the long dead corpse of the Amityville name, it looks as if some kid in high school thought it would be a good idea to use their parents video recorder to try and make a film.

Avoid this junk at all costs.
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1/10
Garbage.
27 February 2017
I grew up with cheesy horror movies from the 70's, 80's and 90's. I became a fan of the horror genre in general. So I am no newbie when it comes to B horror cheese. I went into this film thinking that it'd be pretty good, based on the scores given for the film. I mean, what movie could be bad when it has a cameo from the Lloyd Kaufman? Well, this movie wasn't good. I can't think of a single good thing to say about this movie besides the gratuitous nudity it has. There is no redeeming part of this film. From the actors, to the cinematography, it's all pretty bad. The movie appears to pride itself in the fact it considers itself a grind house film, but even then, while the acts of violence are apparent, they are done in such a direct way, with such poor effects, they don't do anything to make the movie any better. People will make mentions of films such as Blood Feast, when it comes to the graphic content of this movie. The thing is, even the victims of Blood Feast will writhe in agony while they are being brutalized in the film. But in this film, it's like the actors stand still while their faces are ripped off, or their entrails are pulled out. The story makes almost no sense. It doesn't help that the movie jumps all over the place, so there isn't really any sort of consistent story. I fell asleep twice while watching this film, I had to re-watch it almost three times. That's a terrible precedent for horror movies. If you fail to grab my attention so much I can't stay awake, you failed at your job. Avoid this at all costs. It's garbage, it's junk and it uses hyped up keywords to try and draw it's viewers in.
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Eloise (2016)
3/10
Not a great horror film, even by low budget standards.
31 January 2017
Eloise is a movie based on a real world location in Michigan, more specifically a closed sanitarium that was renowned for it's terrible medical practices.

The movie centers around a son who discovers he has the opportunity to inherent his Father's estate, which comes along with a hefty amount of money.

But there's a catch, he needs to get his Mother's death certificate. Everything seems easy enough until he discovers that his Mother's death certificate was actually moved to a different location and in order to get it, he would need to file go through a lengthy (and expensive) legal process.

So instead of going through the legal system and getting the paper work how he should (legally), he decides to break into the now defunct sanitarium with a friend.

I am not a lawyer, but the entire concept that the movie is focused on seems kind of sketchy, you'd think all of this would have been handled already. And why would their son need to go to court to get a copy of his Mother's death certificate?

Besides being riddled full of weird plot holes, at first glance the movie appears to be your generic haunted sanitarium , but it starts to get really goofy as the film goes on. Frankly, I feel the movie would have been much better if it had went for the generic spooky ghost film instead of what they went with.

The acting and cinematography are fine for what it is; I have no complaints. The writing is pretty shaky and the plot of the movie doesn't really make a whole lot of sense.

To be honest, I wouldn't even rent this from a RedBox. If it came on NetFlix or Hulu or something and you got some time to burn (the movie isn't even 2 hours), then go for it, but I can't recommend spending actual money to see this film.
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4/10
A labor of love.
16 January 2017
A interesting concept and frankly, I could see Hollywood doing a much better adaption of it.

With that being said, you can tell it's a labor of love. The cinematography isn't very good and the dialog is downright awful.

Further, the portrayal of Freddy Krueger feels really off base. The short film makes assumptions that Krueger already had plans to become a demon and that the song preceded his death, which I don't really personally believe.

I can understand the appeal for some people, but unfortunately I just don't feel it's very good.
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2/10
Waste of time.
16 January 2017
Same idea as it's 2011 counterpart, but more poorly executed. Further, the actor they found to fill Freddy's role just didn't fit very well.

The dialog is largely boring. I wasn't invested at all in this film and they did very little to try and capture my attention.

As a huge fan of the franchise, you would think it'd be awfully hard to make Freddy Krueger and his story boring and yet somehow they managed to do just that. The best part of the film was the art they did for the cover/poster.

You can find it for free on YouTube, you be the judge, but I feel it's a waste of a half an hour.
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1/10
Garbage
16 January 2017
This wasn't a good movie by any means, even given the time it was released. This short film features a new set of Ghostbusters who end up eventually facing off with the infamous Freddy Krueger.

The movie takes awhile to get going. The writing is bad, the dialog is bad, the actors are bad. The cinematography is horrible. It looks like some middle schoolers found a old VHS camcorder and decided to shoot a student film.

It's advertised as a comedy, but there's nothing funny about it. The short film failed to do so much as illicit a smirk from me.

If you want to see something better, more well done and more true to the Ghostbusters franchise, check out Five Nights At Freddy's Vs. Ghostbusters, but stay away from this poop.
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