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Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)
Half of it's good I guess
It's hard to watch this movie without thinking of the accident that occurred during production. It hangs heaviest over John Landis' segment, obviously, but it's one part of the anthology film I doubt I'd like very much if there wasn't controversy attached to it. He directed the opening sequence, too, which isn't as bad, but it's odd. Just builds to a predictable jump scare, which is not the kind of thing that feels very Twilight Zone to me (admittedly, I really only know the series through pop culture and reading about it).
The second segment is also bad. Steven Spielberg directs it and it's the most sauce-less thing he's ever done. Whatever the opposite of cooking is, that's what Spielberg was doing. It came out just a year or two after he'd done Raiders of the Lost Ark and E. T. Wild.
Joe Dante does his darkly comedic horror thing in the third segment and it's certainly an upgrade from what came before. The story is at least creative and I liked not really knowing where it was going. There are some surprises to be had, and you get the sense Dante wasn't phoning it in, not to mention the premise plays to his strengths as a filmmaker. Again, unlike Spielberg's (still can't get over him fumbling his segment so badly).
The last segment, directed by George Miller, was fun. I feel like the original segment it adapts/remakes is the most famous of all Twilight Zone stories. John Lithgow gives what's probably the best performance of the movie. It's pretty good.
So you get one segment tainted by a real-life tragedy, another misfire, and then the last two are pretty good. If you value your time, I'd say just skip the Landis and Spielberg segments.
Gedo senki (2006)
Sorry no
Wanted to just review this by snarkily saying "Studio Midli," but I think it's worse than mid. The first hour or so is very ordinary, and then it just gets tedious over the next 50 minutes or so. Interesting ideas and aspects of the world early on just aren't explored much as the film goes on, and it becomes disappointingly small-scale. And that wouldn't ordinarily be a bad thing, because fantasy can be intimate and character-focused over building a vast world, but the characters here are all pretty one-note and uninteresting. It's also a bad sign when a movie just makes me sigh out loud, which would be really annoying to anyone if I was watching with others, but I think I'd have restraint there, unless something was really bad.
Anyway, Tales from Earthsea did not pass the sigh test. Anyone who wants Willem Dafoe ASMR might want to check the English dub out (he whispers a lot), but otherwise, pretty much any Studio Ghibli movie that isn't Earwig and the Witch is more worthy of your time, or even more worthy of a rewatch over seeing Tales from Earthsea even once.
Sjecas li se, Dolly Bell (1981)
A good film.
Since revisiting the excellent Underground a month or two ago, I've been wanting to go back and watch some of the older Emir Kusturica films I hadn't seen before. I think Do You Remember Dolly Bell was his first theatrical film, and he'd done some TV movies before then. It's certainly a little rougher than what he'd come to be known for making, but I think a good chunk of it satisfies the same way his later films do.
It's overall a bit more grounded, and definitely not as ambitious or wild with its style- there also isn't really any fantasy or magical realism elements on offer. But visually, it looks striking and kind of in line with some of his other films, and I think his distinct blend of comedy and drama is on offer here, even if I felt it was a bit more of a drama than a comedy in the end.
It's a coming of age story, but the character doing the growing up also falls in with bit of a bad crowd, and then falls for a downtrodden prostitute who's being controlled by some of the people in that aforementioned bad crowd. It could've felt awkward or unconvincing, like a young male fantasy, but I believed the bond between the two main characters a little more than I was expecting to. It was well-acted, a little (but not too) slow, and relatively compelling, marking a good start for a very good run of films Kusturica would go on to have throughout the entire 1980s and 1990s (he's one of the most consistent under-appreciated directors out there).
Toki o kakeru shôjo (1983)
A good time travel/timeloop movie.
I quite loved parts of The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, with the final act being the most engaging and also the most emotional. Nobuhiko Ôbayashi doesn't go quite as crazy as usual, outside a few sequences that really stand out all the more because the rest of the film's relatively normal. I quite like how with Ôbayashi, his style's always there, but you're never quite sure how dialed up or in your face it's going to be, and that balance of predictability and unpredictability makes seeing a film of his for the first time always exciting. On the topic of his films, I don't think The Little Girl Who Conquered Time is quite one of his best, but it is very good, and it's easy to recommend to anyone who's enjoyed something the filmmaker's made before.
Az ötödik pecsét (1976)
Flawed but philosophically interesting film.
Gets off to an amazing start, with the first 40 or minutes or so being confined to one location, and centring on five men having intense philosophical/political conversations. One stirs things up as the evening's winding down, then everyone's a mess for the second act, and then this war drama becomes a bit more of a war film in its final act, and it kind of comes together... well, it comes together enough.
So where the film ends up certainly isn't terrible, but could perhaps be a bit on the nose. I think The Fifth Seal really flounders throughout its second act, though, and makes the whole thing feel a bit uneven.
I can't deny there are some amazing parts to this film at least, most of them contained to the first 40-ish minutes of the film.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
Wildest episode of Succession yet.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe certainly isn't bad for a horror film, but it was also a little bit disappointing. It has a good premise and two capable actors in the lead roles, but does feel a bit too predictable and tame, so far as scares go.
That leaves it in an odd middle ground or cinematic no man's land, because I kind of wonder who it's for. It'd be too grisly and downbeat for those who don't ordinarily like horror movies, but anyone who's a fan of the genre and has seen a fair few in their time is unlikely to be surprised or disturbed by any of the frightening moments on offer here.
It made decent enough use of its closed-off setting and Hirsch and Cox are both pretty good. I liked the fact it didn't drag on for too long, and there were some other small things to admire. But it wasn't really that scary to me, in the end, and I don't think it had enough by way of non-horror elements to offer to make it shine as an example of some other genre.
Kaibutsu (2023)
An effective slow-burn.
That 2003 Charlize Theron movie was pretty good, but 2023's Monster is definitely the better Monster.
It's also a film that's hard to talk about, because saying why it's good would kind of ruin the entire thing. The same advice I'd give for watching One Cut of the Dead for the first time applies here: just stick with it, even if the first act is confusing, because it all comes together very impressively.
I think it's the kind of film where small things would be gained from a rewatch, but the structure here isn't too alienating or extreme, once you work it out. Pieces fall into place in an oddly satisfying way, and a movie that seems to be about one thing reveals itself to not be about that thing at all. It never lies or deceives; it just feels selective about what it shows you in the first act versus what it shows you in the final act.
I did like how it repeated very few scenes, showing some key ones from different points of view but never dwelling too long. That sets it apart from other movies like Rashomon or The Last Duel, where certain points of view aren't objective or reality. I feel like there is an objective reality to Monster, but the characters are blind to it, and so is the audience, at least for a while.
I've probably already said too much. The final message of the film is impactful and effectively delivered, enough to make me guess I'll be thinking about Monster for a little while. It was a little slow-going at times, which is just Kore-eda Hirokazu's style I guess. For what it's worth, I thought Monster was a good deal better than both Shoplifters and Broker - liked those ones, but not as much as most people. I feel like Monster isn't far off quality-wise from his best works, like Still Walking and Nobody Knows.
The Duellists (1977)
Messy with some great parts.
There's a really funny part in The Duellists at about the 30-minute mark, where the narrator says five years have passed and then mentions something about military fashion changing, and then right on cue, Keith Carradine struts into frame with the most mid-to-late 1970s hair, basically looking like Tom Petty if he dyed his hair brown.
Not only because of that moment, but I can't help but feeling like Carradine is the weak link here. I think he's good in other roles, so maybe it was the casting that was off. Kietel's perfect in the admittedly simpler role, and I think everyone else gelled well with their parts, most of them doing a good job at making you not care that no one's trying in the accent department. But Carradine's a little off, I hate to say.
Otherwise, I do like The Duellists on a second viewing a little more than I did the first time I watched it. I remember the first time around, part of me was expecting something a little more exciting, because Ridley Scott does period settings and action well. There's a good bit of action in The Duellists that's very effective, but most of it's in the first half. The second half is quieter and more about the absurdity of the film's central conflict. It isn't as exciting, but it is interesting, especially how it explores Carradine's character (again, just wish the performance was a bit stronger).
At least the film looks beautiful throughout. It also does a great job of telling a small/personal story within a big conflict. There are some creative swings taken that don't entirely pay off (that editing during the horseback duel is wild and kind of silly), but most of it works, and it does impress as far as directorial debuts go. It isn't nearly one of Ridley Scott's best, but it's also far from one of his worst, and I like most of it. I just wish I loved it, because it's sort of frustratingly on the cusp of greatness.
Polytechnique (2009)
Mostly effective
Though this felt very similar to Gus van Sant's Elephant at first, it starts to very much feel like its own thing from about the halfway point onwards. And even if there are some similarities, maybe there are only so many ways you can tackle such a heavy premise without running the risk of offending or appearing insensitive... or even glorifying people who shouldn't be glorified.
A person who commits a mass murder maybe can't be understood, and it's always a frustrating and hard to sit with fact when it comes to films like this, but that could just be how it is. These people have frustrations that spiral out of control in ways most thankfully can't understand or relate to, and then something snaps, and they lash out. Maybe that's all that can be known. And if a film tried too hard to make you understand, it would probably be wading into distasteful territory.
Anyway, I liked the eventual structural risks Polytechnique took. I wasn't as crazy about some of the unusual choices made when it came to the visuals, almost as though Denis Villeneuve was trying a bit too hard in some places, but most of the film looks good, with a simplicity that's sometimes striking. Simple is good here; some crazy camera shots I didn't like so much. The actor who played the shooter was also scarily good; his eyes just looked distant and he was terrifyingly cold.
Polytechnique's a hard watch and I don't think I'll ever watch it again, but it was quite good, and feels like a moderate success by Villeneuve's fairly high standards.
Le grand bleu (1988)
It's Jean Reno's world; we're just living in it.
It's crazy how much more energetic this movie gets whenever Jean Reno shows up and just chews scenery. The Big Blue looks amazing, but beyond the cinematography, Reno's the reason to watch it. Rosanna Arquette does the best she can with a fairly underwritten character (it's also fun to see her have an After Hours reunion with Griffin Dunne, because he's in this a little), and Jean-Marc Barr is similarly left treading water, so to speak- feel like his character isn't too well-written either. The romance/drama between those two characters can only take things so far, especially in the scenes where it feels like a love triangle is playing out between Barr, Arquette, and a dolphin. I wish I was kidding or exaggerating.
But Jean Reno... he kills it. This is the Jean Reno show. He doesn't even convincingly play an Italian but I still believed it because he's so cool/confident. Whenever he makes an entrance it's hilarious. I almost want someone to re-edit this movie so there's a sitcom audience applause whenever he rocks up, kind of like Kramer got in Seinfeld at a point.
This film and Subway are both interesting entries in Luc Besson's filmography. They're both flawed, but each has a lot to offer, and I don't think people talk about them enough. Subway is probably stronger overall and a little snappier, but I appreciated the ambition of The Big Blue. Besson does indeed go Big, and even if 168 minutes is pushing it, I still enjoyed most of it (especially the Reno scenes- did I mention he was very good?).
Aruitemo aruitemo (2008)
Effective
It's a Kore-eda Hirokazu film about family, so it's slow, quiet, but also very well-made and filled with great performances that make you forget you're watching actors. Still Walking unpacks grief among family members in some expected ways, and some more surprising ways, including touching upon the idolisation of those who've passed and looking at emotions other than strict sadness that such a loss can cause to those still left behind. There's that added complexity here (also served by making the grandparents very flawed people in an honest way) that I think elevates this and gives it an edge over other family-related dramas or films that deal with grief in general. It's not an easy watch? But even if you want to call it slow, I think it would be unfair to ever call it boring.
Loving (1970)
Gimme some
A bleak and chaotic film about a mess of a man making a mess of his life, and the film is also appropriately messy. It's possible to find some comedy in Loving, too, depending on your sense of humor. What's unlikely to be found here is much by way of love or genuine loving, with the title sounding very sunny for something that's ultimately so cynical.
It fits in with the era well, and while it's not as good as the best late '60s/early '70s movies that deal with disastrous people and the ways in which they wreck their lives, it probably deserves a little more attention than what it gets. It's hard to recommend as something that could possibly be enjoyed, but there's a decent amount to appreciate. I was also thankful it only made me feel discomfort for about 90 minutes, instead of 2+ hours.
Manji (1964)
"We told you this was melodrama"
By 1964 standards, this film really doesn't mess around, nor does it take any prisoners. It's fairly blatant about the story centering on two women who fall in love, but also don't entirely cut their husbands/male partners out of their lives, which leads to complications and some drastic things that feel a little extreme, but I'd chalk it up to Japan being a different culture at a different time... or just the film trying to make a point, and not necessarily be a reflection of how this situation would play out in real life. Have to accept it's one or the other; I think you just have to admit defeat, in a way, by saying you don't always know for sure when it comes to foreign films.
The dark and emotionally intense places Manji goes also make it feel a bit melodramatic, but again, I can't assume. And even then, if it is melodrama, I think it's mostly well-done melodrama; that kind of thing isn't automatically bad. Maybe there's some repetition and characters saying things in such a blatant way that can feel forced, but it could be partly intended. Perhaps it's wrong to assume it either is or isn't clunky dialogue. The truth could be somewhere in between.
Waffling here. It's not well-paced, but the film is well-acted and I admire how it handled such a story 60 years ago. If some of the melodrama was intended, then I think the writing was acceptably blunt and the performances were effectively heightened. The grimmer parts of the story don't quite devastate the way I thought they would, but that might be owing to the film's structure, with one character narrating a series of events from her perspective. It creates some intrigue, but also some sense of inevitability; a bit of a double-edged sword. And then it also ends pretty suddenly.
But I have to keep coming back to it being good for its time. I wasn't expecting this film to take the approach it did, and I imagine it would've caused at least some controversy in Japan at the time.
Futsû saizu no kaijin (1986)
Pretty wild.
There's almost something of a Tetsuo the Iron Man Cinematic Universe (TIMCU), because first there was this short film, The Phantom of Regular Size, which then gave way to the slightly longer (but still short film) The Adventures of Electric Rod Boy (1987), and then finally, in 1988, there was the feature-length Tetsuo the Iron Man. Then, that film received two sequels, so anyone who wants to catch up on the whole series within a short period of time is going to absolutely melt their brain. It's all metallic body horror, dizzying editing, gross-out special effects, and loud clanging noises.
That 1988 film is still the best of the bunch, but watching the shorts as proof-of-concept movies for it can be interesting. This one, The Phantom of Regular Size, isn't as good as Adventures of Electric Rod Boy, and I wish I'd watched it first, but there's still a twisted charm to this extra-short short, and the music and sound effects are as good as ever.
Karakkaze yarô (1960)
Odd, and it fluctuates between dull and interesting.
Yukio Mishima's lead performance in this is bizarre, and I could never work out what awkwardness was intended and what wasn't.
I guess it gives what's an otherwise straightforward yakuza film a bit more flavour, even if everyone else here is less of a wild card, acting-wise. Either they all understood the assignment and Mishima didn't, or Mishima understood it better than everyone else and was doing something genuinely brilliant.
Afraid to Die is also a little slow and repetitive in parts. I've seen better crime-dramas that came out in Japan around this time, and I've seen worse. There's a little here that's odd and intriguing, and a good deal of it just kind of gets the job done.
Ginga no Uo Ursa Minor Blue (1993)
Leaves an impression
This is a strange but overall pretty engrossing fantasy anime short, revolving around a boy and an old man hunting down a giant fish, seemingly travelling into space in the process? It gets pretty strange, but never too messy, owing to its short runtime and the fact there are really just two main characters.
I think it succeeds in feeling like an illustrated children's book come to life. The art style is the best thing it has going for it, and even if it feels a little slight or underdeveloped in other areas, it's a beautiful looking short, and the visuals prove good enough to make this one worth watching.
Subway (1985)
A bit underrated
Not much substance and lots of style, but thankfully the style on offer is pretty great.
An early film from well-known French director Luc Besson, Subway has a plot that's really just an excuse to get the main character into the unique world of people living in and around an underground subway station.
The movie gets a lot of mileage out of its setting and the quirky characters associated with it, like Jean Reno's character, who is quiet, mysterious, likes drumming, and that's about it. I think he might have even just been called "Drummer."
It's an odd movie but it's got charm, some slick action sequences, stylish cinematography, and a decent pace. Scenes are note often than not strung together without much logic or flow, and there's not much to the story or characters beyond the basic premise, but I can't deny it was a pretty fun watch.
#Saraitda (2020)
Sigh of the times
Well, this film was in the right place at the right time, and the fact it finished filming a couple of months before the lockdowns started is kind of funny to think about. Watching it a few years later, I do wonder whether I would've found it all more compelling if I'd seen it in 2020 or 2021, but part of me feels like in the end, it would feel like a just okay zombie movie either way.
I like some of the attempts to modernise a played-out genre, regarding some of the technology the main character uses. Even without the accidental pandemic link, I feel like this would be a pretty good time capsule of the late 2010s/early 2020s, for anyone who decides to watch it some decades from now (I wonder if Netflix will still exist then).
The indirect stuff is more interesting to talk about. As a film, #Alive is just okay. It's competent and doesn't really make too many mistakes, but it's also a bit boring in parts. It's like it never strives to be more than decent or just thoroughly watchable. And it is definitely decent; just not great or exciting. I can't lie- that also makes it a bit disappointing.
Succession: Pre-Nuptial (2018)
The Finale Part I
You really should watch this and the final episode of season 1 as one big final episode, and I imagine most people watching the show a few years after the fact will anyway, just because of how this penultimate episode ends.
Usually, big events in Succession only get one episode on them (even in season 4, when every episode seems to have a focus on one major event, and the stakes have never felt higher), but Shiv and Tom's wedding effectively gets a pair of episodes here, at season 1's conclusion.
The final episode of season 1 the more memorable one, but there's still plenty of great drama in Pre-Nuptial; enough to satisfy as its own episode while expertly setting up the huge amounts of drama to follow in the next episode (season 1's actual finale).
Succession: Prague (2018)
Mostly great
This is essentially the "bachelor party" episode, with most of the best and most memorable moments of the hour revolving around Tom's messy and uncomfortable bachelor party. Kendall and Roman both use it as an opportunity to further themselves, clashing while everyone else along for the ride gets messy in their own ways.
Connor, as usual, kind of gets overlooked and given the fewest opportunities to shine (him taking MDMA should be funnier than what it is here), but that's a nitpick. Shiv continues to become more interesting and is given more to do; if there's a main flaw of the first season, it's that it took a while to find interesting things for her to do as a character, but I like how the last few episodes of the season bring her into the fold more.
Ani*Kuri15 (2007)
Fun chaos
I can't imagine it's easy crafting a short film for an anthology film under normal circumstances, but Ani*Kuri15 makes the directors play on hard mode due to each film only being allowed to reach 60 seconds in length.
This, in turn, makes Ani*Kuri15 also hard to write about, because everything passes by in a flash, quite literally 15 very short films in 15 minutes. But the sensation of watching them all back-to-back is dizzying in a mostly satisfying way. Some don't really find a voice in the time allotted, such are just visual noise and chaos for 60 seconds, but then a few shine through and either tell a story, get a point across, or simply create a coherent feel, and it's impressive to get such things from just one minute.
Even the ones that are messier can be charming or sort of fun, and I feel like most of what's on offer here has value of some kind. Some are definitely better than others (and I'm not busting my brain to try and remember any specific ones right now), but I think Ani*Kuri15 is overall still worth a watch for anime fans (you might well recognize some artstyles and director trademarks from certain films, too).
Bad Boys for Life (2020)
Absolutely confounds me why critics prefer this and the fourth film to the first two.
Kind of cringe. I think the Bad Boys movies minus Michael Bay are just lacking, and I don't like the approach taken for both this one and Ride or Die. Bad Boys for Life was a little more tolerable than Ride or Die, which I thought started kind of boring and then became aggressively bad by the end.
Bad Boys for Life, like that fourth film, makes strange decisions on where to take its aging main characters. There's a tension in trying to keep things breezy, silly, and action-packed while also acknowledging these characters are getting older. It's just not funny enough, and the action just doesn't satisfy like it did in Bad Boys II. To be honest, the action scenes were also a little forgettable in Bad Boys 1, but there was a charm there because it was the first, and because it has that '90s feel to it. It was immature, but in a youthful and sort of fun way.
I placed a lot of blame on the directors when it came to tearing into Ride or Die, but now, I don't want to blame them entirely. I think this third film looks and moves okay; better than the overdone fourth film. Maybe I'd become a member of Team Adil & Bilall if they got their hands on a better script and directed it in the future. The writing for Bad Boys for Life and Ride or Die... not good in either instance. The new characters sucked in Ride or Die, and they suck when being introduced here in Bad Boys for Life.
I just don't like these newer ones. Bay brought some flair to things, and Martin Lawrence and Will Smith were both funnier and more entertaining in those first two. These last two? I'm indifferent at best, and genuinely irritated at worst.
Bad Boys II (2003)
Bay unhinged
They let Michael Bay go nuts with Bad Boys II, and it resulted in a significantly better film than 1995's Bad Boys, which I didn't realize at the time was Bay's first feature film. That first movie is honestly fine; kind of decent for what it is, but Bad Boys II does for Bad Boys what The Road Warrior did for the first Mad Max.
That being said, this isn't as good as The Road Warrior (not many action movies are, in fairness). It's still a bit of a mess, and I think it feels bloated at almost 2.5 hours (it earns the right to be around two hours or even a little longer, which is more than can be said for some action movies, but I still think the runtime is a bit indulgent).
But to get back to the positives, this is an overall more confident movie. The action is a good deal more satisfying (though it unfortunately peaks early on, with a car chase at the end of the first act), and the laughs are bigger. Like the first, not all the humor works, but I was pleasantly surprised by how funny I found parts of it.
I'm still yet to see the third one, but I very much doubt it's better than the second. Fingers crossed I like it more than the first, but I also really didn't enjoy 4, so I'm not super confident.
Yes, I watched these out of order. I guess I'm a Bad Boy. Deal with it.
Bad Boys (1995)
Competent boys
After watching and hating the fourth Bad Boys movie, it felt fair to go back and look at the others. Coming off that one, it's nice to watch the original Bad Boys and find it feels like an actual movie, for lack of a better description. It's very Michael Bay, being nowhere near the best thing he's done but also not the worst, all the while being surprisingly more of a comedy than an action movie.
I get the sense the second one will have more bombastic action, but the broad comedy here worked well enough to make it moderately entertaining. Lawrence and Smith are more energetic and fun to watch here than they were in the most recent film, and there are a few laughs throughout. The films stops and starts in terms of its energy, and not all jokes land, but it's a decent enough watch. Delivers the basics, and that's sort of enough.
Joan of Arc (1999)
Big, messy, but also not bad.
For better or worse, this Joan of Arc film feels like Luc Besson watched Braveheart and said "I want to do zat huh-huh-huh." It's got the bombast, swings, misses, and quirks you'd expect.
I'd call the movie fun because of how explosive it gets, besides that one particularly horrifying part near the start. You don't really see acts like that shown in movies anymore, or nearly as often, and never with that level of horror. Even though the intent is clearly to be horrible, I understand the argument that such scenes go too far.
Milla Jovovich really goes for it with her lead performance throughout. She screams a lot and there is some unhinged camerawork. When she screams and the visuals are unhinged, it can get a bit unintentionally funny. I respect how much Jovovich committed (that stunt where it looked like she fell a pretty long way was impressive), but I don't know if playing Joan of Arc like she's possessed always works. It doesn't really double down on the psychological drama side of things, if that's the approach it wanted to take. Besson gets too caught up staging his Braveheart battles, and it leaves the more introspective side of the story feeling lacking.
But even with the length, this was strangely watchable, for the most part. Some brazen choices and instances of camerawork fit, and others are baffling, but I was definitely engaged more than I expected to be. It's a highly flawed film, and occasionally frustrating, but I don't regret watching it. It's been easy to write a review for, and that's usually a sign that a film has something to offer, or at least is distinct and potentially memorable (again, for reasons both good and perhaps not so good).