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Mixed: 5, 6
Negative: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Reviews aren't a medium of artistic expression for me. They're a way for me to yammer on about my irrelevant thoughts.
My ratings don't mean squat and they're often inconsistent, unfair, or both. Don't take 'em too seriously. I rate movies, episodes, shorts, and so on based on very different but equally unimportant sets of criteria.
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One of the greats
This is the first pixar movie in years that I really fell in love with. I think Wall-E was the last pixar film that made me film this way. I wasn't a huge fan of Up, Toy Story 3, Frozen, or whatever else that's come out since 2009. It's not as great as the rat one, but it is an incredible, beautiful, moving, and creative film. I loved every second of this film and I hope to watch it again with my 12-year-old brother soon.
Monsters, Inc. (2001)
A milestone in my life
This is actually the first movie I remember watching in the cinema. How wild is that? I remember the cinema, that I went with my grandmother, where we sat, what it was like watching the film. It was a wild experience.
Barry Lyndon (1975)
A masterpiece for all time
I am so impressed by this marvelous film - the incredible cinematography, costume design, art direction, plot, editing, and music. I am speechless. This movie wowed me. I didn't even realise that 3 hours passed in my viewing of this masterpiece. Absolutely incredible.
The Jackal (1997)
Did not like it
I watched this because the thumbnail on Netflix was of Richard Gere in denim. It was so awfully acted though like far too many action films of the '90s, I suppose, but this one wasn't even good in other regards. The only good thing about this movie was that it features Helsinki. That made me very excited.
Decent... I think
Visually stunning and interesting. However, I accidentally fell asleep during the movie and I cannot discern how much of the film I actually missed, because when I woke up I was able to continue following the movie as well as I had been doing before I fell asleep. Maybe it's my fault, maybe it's the movie's fault for being so slow-paced and long, who's to tell?
Drive Me Crazy (1999)
Not the greatest plot in the world, but the two lead characters are decent people, I guess. A bit odd how they hated each other so much in the start, but then at the drop of a hat were back to being close (like when they were kids) - even if there was a ruse of sorts involved. Anyway, I liked it. It's no masterpiece, but it does make for an enjoyable viewing.
The Fugitive (1993)
Never got all the hullabaloo over it
Films about people being framed or misunderstood - The Warriors (1979) and Jagten (2012) come to mind - are often so brilliantly dramatic and entertaining. The Fugitive was cool, but I don't get all the Oscar attention it ended up getting. It seems like a pretty standard action film to me, and those kinds of movies never get anything beyond one or two technical nods.
The Matrix (1999)
I'm not the biggest fan in the world of the trilogy, but even I can admit that this is one damn good movie. The spoon bending trick is probably my favourite. It's so iconic and memorable, but for whatever reason I really dislike Carrie Anne Moss, so I don't like to rewatch the movie. It's just one of those things - an irrational hatred of someone. Even now, when I think of technology, I think of this movie.
Sour Grapes (1998)
Every character was so unbelievably irritating. Only Larry David and George Costanza can do Larry David right - otherwise it's just annoying and bizarre. All the yelling, exaggerated mannerisms, and ridiculous dialogue - no one behaves like that in real life! It was just hard to get through.
Last Action Hero (1993)
One of the better '90s Action flicks
You've got a tatted up Vincent van Gogh as the villain with Salieri and a plump, fedora-wearing Picasso on his side. You've got a universe with Stallone as the Terminator. You've got bombs exploding and Arnie wearing heeled shoes, his hair the colour of his coat. It's an adrenaline pumped version of "The Purple Rose of Cairo" and references cinema in unsubtle, but quirky ways. It's an entertaining movie from the '90s... what more reason does a person need to watch a movie?
The Shape of Water (2017)
Good film, but not the best of the year
I liked the camera movement. I liked that it was an homage to so many movies of the past. And I liked that we root for the fish-man - if someone just randomly dropped in on the movie during the dance scene, I can imagine it'd be a very strange experience, so it's nice that watching the film, we begin to accept everything as a part of the norm.
Romeo + Juliet (1996)
It took me three viewings to realise that this movie is a damn modern masterpiece and miracle of cinema. It is SO unapologetically true to the vision of the director -- SO weird, so intentionally controversial, and unique. It pairs Elizabethan dialogue with the most glaringly 90's fashion, style, attitude, what have you - a huge, odd risk, but one that pays off I think. I wish I had the balls to make something so provocative and brash.
This movie deeply insulted me the first time I saw it. I was actually infuriated. I thought it was terrible. The second time I saw it was by chance - it was showing on TV and I happened to catch it during the opening and thought 'Well, it's not as bad as I remember it', so I continued watching until the end. Finally, it was upon my third viewing that I absolutely fell in love with this movie. It is literally insane and all that I could ask for from a American adaptation in the 1990's of a late 16th century Shakespearean tragedy.
Call Me by Your Name (2017)
Brilliant and honest film
I literally just spent a weekend in Northern Italy, so I can't tell you just how much I loved this movie - everything from the Italian fascination with apricots to the architecture, art, and scenery to the slow-to-build relationship between Oliver and Elio. Every minute of the film got a reaction out of me - whether it was pure excitement, happiness, sorrow, or something else altogether. I especially loved the scene near the start when they were all out one night and Oliver danced to "Lady, Lady, Lady".
The Out of Towners (1970)
The lady was so whiny and the man yelled too much (yes I know they are comedy legends, so maybe I should refer to them by their very famous names, but it's just so much more effort). It would have been a lot funnier if the characters didn't get on my nerves so much. I'm supposed to be laughing at their misfortunes and all that wonderful irony and well-scripted dialogue, but instead I am just frustrated on their behalf. Now that's no fun.
Original and powerful. I especially liked the second act. And as it's often brought up in the same breath as "La La Land", I will say this: "Moonlight" was far more original with a better crafted story, telling the unconventional story of a neglected and otherwise invisible character. Of course "La La Land" was still a very well-made film, but in the end, "Moonlight" was a better choice for Best Picture because twenty years (or however many years) down the line, this will be remembered over "La La Land", a film that is highly stylistic, but lacks substance. Think of how "Chicago" won Best Picture back in 2003, instead of "The Pianist" and the subsequent controversy that followed. This time, the Academy got it right.
Message in a Bottle (1999)
Oh the things I watch for handsome blonde men
Not gonna lie I watched this film for one reason and one reason only and that's Paul Newman. So, perhaps it is unfair that the main reason I really don't like the film too much (besides its asinine plot) is because Paul Newman is barely in it, which, I suppose, is fair enough because he doesn't appear on the poster, so it's not like a "Rumble in Hong Kong" regarding Jackie Chan sort of situation.
The Majestic (2001)
Has an old-school, golden-age-of-cinema charm to it. The protagonist is a good man and the movie is entertaining enough, albeit a bit long. There are also a few loose ends that the movie doesn't adequately tackle, but ultimately I find there is more to like than dislike about the film.
Pretty Woman (1990)
Good, but is it?
The premise is obviously problematic. It's understandable why so many A-list actresses turned down the role - it comes across as sexist. But the film has a different energy than that upon viewing. I know, I know, maybe that's the magic of Hollywood movies - they can brainwash you and make prostitution seem innocent and harmless. There was some pretty good acting in this though. I really liked Julia at least.
Spice World (1997)
By all means, it is BAD
Yes, it is a terrible film, but it is also fantastic, so it is getting the most mixed rating I can possibly give. While I was insulted by the way this film assaulted my eyeballs, I am also deeply fascinated by what I did see.
The Sweetest Thing (2002)
Vulgar, irritating, and absurd in a bad way. I was watching this as daylight savings time began and I feel like I lost an entire day of my life rather than just an hour plus the run-time of this garbage movie. I wish I didn't decide to watch this film because as soon as I started I regretted it, but I like to finish what I start so really I only have myself to blame. Imagine paying to go see this though. What an absolute assault on everything decent and beautiful the medium of film has come up with before this monstrosity.
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958)
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
I love Tennessee Williams' original play and I love Elizabeth Taylor and Paul Newman - they fit the characters so wonderfully and the tension and sexual frustration is palpable through their magnificent acting. But, oh, it is such a shame that homosexuality was regarded as something so taboo back then that they couldn't even bring it up - not even to speak negatively of it, though people were surely of that sentiment. The quality of the play just isn't the same once they stripped Brick of his sexual identity and rewrote him as heterosexual.
I'm feeling nostalgic so I'm watching old tapes of SNL right now and this is an episode I liked a fair bit. Tom Hanks is always a wonderful, fitting host for the show and with old cast members like Tina Fey and Darrell Hammond, it can't go too wrong. The Red Hot Chili Peppers performances were great too - love how Anthony Kiedis has so much energy to jump around the stage when he must've been in his mid 30's at the time. My favourite part is usually the Weekend Update and with Tina and Amy hosting, it was excellent.
Roswell: The End of the World (2000)
Oh, the emotions
This is the most recent episode of the show I have watched. I am watching it for the first time from start to finish, and I can say without a doubt that this has been my favourite episode of the show so far. It is a great episode, emotion-wise. It is heartbreaking in an almost Buffy-Angel sort of way - and I mean in the "I Will Remember You" sort of way. I would recommend this episode the most out of the whole show, though I suppose in order to appreciate it properly one would have to be familiar with the whole Max Evans/Liz Parker ordeal and also know who Tess is. The only thing I didn't like about this episode was the whole Michael subplot. I guess I just don't like the whole Skin subfocus. I loved Kyle in this episode though. He is great comedic relief.
"Clueless" is a wonderful, delightful comedy with excellent dialogue and memorable events. It is amazingly nostalgic - all the clothes, the slang, the electronics - it's what I love about movies, they capture the spirit of the time so beautifully. Tai is very amusing, as is Dionne's boyfriend. I also love how the film seems to happen in chapters or parts - first Cher tries to raise her grades by setting up a romance between her teachers, then Josh is introduced into the mix, then Tai shows up and the new focus of Cher's life is to "fix" her, then there's the party, then Christian, and so on and so forth. I've watched this film time and time again over the years and it never gets old. I could watch it a dozen more times and I don't think I'd grow tired of it.
Small Soldiers (1998)
"Small Soldiers" is a decent enough '90s family film. My only complaint is that the movie felt a bit long, but I mostly liked it otherwise. Phil Hartman was a great addition - sadly, it was his last film. I still love watching old SNL episodes from his run. This film has a creative plot, great visuals for the time, some humour, great film references - from 2001 to Apocalypse Now - and was an altogether entertaining film.