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Mixed: 5, 6
Negative: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Reviews aren't a medium of artistic expression for me. They're a way for me to yammer on about my irrelevant thoughts.
My ratings don't mean squat and they're often inconsistent, unfair, or both. Don't take 'em too seriously. I rate movies, episodes, shorts, and so on based on very different but equally unimportant sets of criteria.
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Sour Grapes (1998)
Every character was so unbelievably irritating. Only Larry David and George Costanza can do Larry David right - otherwise it's just annoying and bizarre. All the yelling, exaggerated mannerisms, and ridiculous dialogue - no one behaves like that in real life! It was just hard to get through.
Last Action Hero (1993)
One of the better '90s Action flicks
You've got a tatted up Vincent van Gogh as the villain with Salieri and a plump, fedora-wearing Picasso by his side. You've got a universe with Stallone as the Terminator. You've got bombs exploding and Arnie wearing heeled shoes, his hair the colour of his coat. It's an adrenaline pumped version of "The Purple Rose of Cairo" and references cinema in unsubtle, but quirky ways. It's a wonderfully entertaining movie from the '90s... what more reason does a person need to watch a movie?
The best musical extravaganza
"Once More with Feeling" is one of the best episodes of modern television, period - musical or not, sci-fi show or not, part of the mediocre season 6 of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or not. When I first saw it, I was mesmerised. I happen to like a lot of the songs too, especially Giles' 'Standing', which was beautiful and touching. Joss Whedon created a masterpiece in the form of this episode with his songwriting skills (unexpected) and its wonderful plot. Lots of shows have a musical episode, but they are VERY risky. When "Oz" did it, it was fabulous as well, but understandably it is an easy thing to mess up. This episode should be revered and remembered for what it is.
Ted the architect
"Her ass looks better than my face". Hilarious episode, where Robin and Ted have a fight and then "Ted Mosby, the architect" goes to various places around the city with a beautiful kick-boxer. I liked the episode, but there was one thing that bothered me - how Lilly and Robin were talking about kicking the girl's ass or calling her a 'slut', when she didn't do anything wrong. Even so, it's an excellent episode of the show. It's amusing, witty, and has a funny twist.
Amusing, good comedy
Hilarious seeing Barney trying to be a wing-man for Marshall, especially that third girl at the Scorpion and Toad bar and how he waited until he was in the cab with Marshall to steal her phone number from him. Lilly's return is also funny - especially how she retold meeting new people on the tram in San Francisco. I also liked the choice Marshall takes at the end of the episode regarding whether or not he should quickly jump back into the relationship after Lilly dumped him three months prior.
I liked the ending
I thought this was a pretty decent comedy. I like seeing Michael J. Fox in movies, in television shows, and in real life. There's a very likable quality about him, I think. Anyway, "Greedy" has an interesting plot. Sure, it's not the most intelligent film of all time, but it's funny and entertaining, which is undoubtedly what the filmmakers behind this movie tried to achieve. I especially liked the ending of the film, which I found the funniest part. I'd say it's worth a watch. I sure liked it anyway.
Timeless: Space Race (2016)
My favourite episode so far
This was a wonderful episode of "Timeless", even if it was riddled with inaccuracies and things that were just a bit too unbelievable even for a fictional story - blame the writers for that one. How Anthony got to do that much damage unnoticed baffles me. How Rufus was able to understand the decades old technology and fix the problem in a matter of hours was even harder to believe. Then there's the little technical inaccuracies involving the equipment they were using, but I won't get into that because I have no plans of making this a long review. It was great in all other senses. I loved seeing the good side of Garcia Flynn - perhaps the best part of the entire episode. I loved Wyatt's FBI badge homage to Agent Mulder from "The X Files". I loved how Lucy explains the true importance of the space race in relation to international politics and the Cold War at the time. And I also loved the setting of the episode, the general plot, and, of course, how the story shines a spotlight on an unsung hero of NASA, Katherine Johnson (who was also the subject of the 2016 film "Hidden Figures"). Mostly, I loved the episode.
Just One of the Guys (1985)
"Just One of the Guys" is a cute, whimsical, and entertaining '80s film about a female high school student that pretends to be a boy for a second shot in a writing competition. It features the stunning Joyce Hyser as Terry Griffith, who makes a pretty convincing boy. I love her character. She's bright, kind, intelligent, and a decent person. The film is hilarious, but by no means profound. The plot is pretty basic - something that's been rehashed time and time again since before Shakespeare. It's a wonderful film to watch though. I would recommend it if for nothing more than to see Joyce Hyser.
The Breakfast Club (1985)
Sweets, you couldn't ignore me if you tried
"The Breakfast Club" is a timeless classic. I loved it so much the first time that I saw it that I immediately watched it for a second time right when it ended. Only then did I feel like returning back to real life. The film is quite simply one of the best teen movies of all time. John Hughes doesn't dumb down teenagers like so, so many other writer-directors have done when portraying teens in films. Hughes treats them like actual human beings with complex emotions, mature thoughts, and the endless energy required for some shenanigans. My favourite scene was when they all sat around in a circle and spoke from the heart - yeah, that sounds pretty cheesy, but you cannot script that kind of true emotion and that's why I appreciate Hughes for letting them ad-lib most of their lines in that scene. It's a great bonding film. John Bender is one of the coolest kids to ever grace the silver screen - and you know what, so is Brian "the Brain" Johnson. Well worth a watch.
Timeless: The Watergate Tape (2016)
I happen to love the past - everything from the clothing, to the way people spoke, to what was considered popular culture at the time. I love history, philosophy, and physics, so clearly a show that incorporates time-travel is something I would like. Surely enough, I do like the show, even if I think at times it isn't the most well-written. My favourite character is Garcia Flynn, I must say. He is very intriguing and the only character that doesn't annoy me to high heaven - what with Lucy being so stern and moral all the time when she clearly has made rather large mistakes herself, or with Rufus being a double agent, or with Wyatt being so depressed, distrusting, and hypocritical all the time. I cannot quite figure out Flynn - whether he is a villain or not, what his motives are, if what he says is true half the time - but at least he seems the least problematic of all the characters. This was a good enough episode. There were certain things I didn't like about it - like how it had nearly nothing to do with Watergate whatsoever - but these things don't take away from the quality of the episode too much. I also don't really like the whole Rittenhouse angle, but I suppose they needed it to create a story arch that could span multiple episodes. Ultimately, I liked the episode more than I disliked it.
Drunk Ted sure seems a blast, or a pain in the ass - you decide. Me, personally, I think he seems like a blast, but that's probably because I am very much like Ted when I am drunk... This was a wonderful episode showing how whimsical, passionate, and entertaining Ted is. Various members of the gang take care of Ted and bring him to bed, but like the party-animal he is he sneaks out and gets into more trouble each time. In all fairness, he doesn't actually do anything too crazy or regrettable.
We've all drunk-texted or dialed people to embarrassing consequences (there's an archive somewhere out there of all my freshman year antics, I'm sure). We've all made mistakes that we only discover upon our awakening sometime in the middle of the next day (or early in the morning, if you're like me and can't sleep hungover). We've all made absolute fools of ourselves in front of a room full of strangers, surely. The episode is really quite funny, at least to me.
We are living in the golden age of TV. "The People vs. O.J. Simpson", "Fargo", and "How to Get Away With Murder" (still haven't seen the third season yet, sorry) are only the tip of the iceberg. It may not be the golden age for situation comedies - I will never stop maintaining that the '90s was that genre's golden age due to shows like "Seinfeld" and "Friends" - but it certainly is prime time for crime and drama series.
This was an AMAZING first episode. Not only for the season, but for the entire show as a whole. I'm not fully thrilled that Cuba Gooding Jr. is The Juice, Selma Blair is Kris Jenner, or that Ross from "Friends" is Robert Kardashian, but, even so, everyone in this episode did a tremendous job acting-wise, especially Sarah Paulson. Well worth watching, just wish I'd started it sooner.
Could this penguin be the slutty pumpkin?
I now realise that there isn't too much to review on an episode-by- episode basis. And since I'm the only person who's going to enjoy reading these reviews in the future, I'll simplify my reviewing method (for certain titles) to a list of what I liked and what I didn't.
What I liked: The idea of mixing Kahlua and root beer, Marshall as Cher and his take on Ewoks, Barney's costume introduction, Barney's idea of having two costumes, the devil and the angel on Ted's shoulders, and Robin and Ted's conversation on the rooftop at the end.
What I didn't like: Lilly's Halloween costume, Robin's boyfriend trying to feed her, most of the rooftop party, and Robin getting territorial over ice cream.
Seinfeld: The Busboy (1991)
The busboy's coming
"The Busboy" is not my favourite episode of "Seinfeld", but it does feature the supremely funny moment where Elaine wakes up late and realises that her male friend is close to missing his plane. She panics and maniacally packs his luggage and attempts to drive him to the airport as fast as she can. Some great comedic acting from Julia Louis Dreyfus in that scene. The rest of the episode is not as funny. The whole busboy situation I found unfortunate and hardly worth making a joke out of - he loses his job, his cat goes missing, and he falls down a flight of stairs. Decent episode, nonetheless, especially for Elaine's scene and Jerry's stand up piece on missing flights.
Seinfeld: The Pony Remark (1991)
Nobody likes a kid with a pony
"Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony. Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country?" Jerry's little monologue at the dinner table is one of my favourite moments of "Seinfeld". This episode is hilarious - filled with beautiful irony, quotable jokes, and even philosophical moments (consider that diner scene before the funeral when Elaine, Jerry, and George sit and talk about how they've wasted their lives so far and wonder how they can stop doing that.) Jerry must pick between going to his softball team's game or going to the funeral of someone that he may have killed because of an inappropriate remark. This is also happens to be the first episode of the show that introduces Uncle Leo. It's worth a watch.
Seinfeld: The Robbery (1990)
Best episode of the season
Sure, it's a short season - there are only five episodes - but this is still the best episode of the season. Every episode has been great, but this one was especially excellent. In "The Robbery", as the title may suggest, Jerry's apartment gets robbed because Kramer left the front door open, ironic as Jerry had only just spent a fortune on new, firmly secure locks for the door. As a result of the robbery, Jerry loses his TV, his answering machine (Jerry doesn't like the idea of someone else answering his messages), his VCR, and a few other personal items. He is convinced that perhaps it is time to move apartments as everyone seems to be telling him. George does him a favour in showing him an apartment, but he discovers that he actually likes the apartment himself. The two then compete over the apartment before realising that neither of them really wants it if the other does. Meanwhile, Elaine is also looking for a new place to live, but in either Jerry or George's old apartment once either of them moves into the nice new apartment with the fireplace. It's a great episode and worth watching.
Powerful film by Almodovar
I would classify almost all of the films I have seen by Pedro Almodovar as some of my favourite movies of all time. "Volver" is one of those beautiful films. I love Almodovar's use of colour in all his movies. I love how his main character is almost always a strong, incredible woman, except in the instances where Antonio Banderas leads or in films like "Mala Educacion". "Volver" is a beautiful story, so wonderfully original, creative, and interesting. Penelope Cruz, too, was excellent in this film. The film is absolutely enthralling.
A shining episode in the season
This was a great episode for character development in "Fresh Off the Boat". Eddie is accused of stealing a CD from a music store, but he claims that he brought it in and was going to sell it as a used disc, since the store buys used music. Jessica is called in and immediately believes the store owner's accusations, not trusting Eddie because he lied about using the dishwasher earlier on. Eddie reveals that he didn't actually eat Jessica's morning papaya that he had claimed to do at the beginning of the episode to protect his younger brother, Evan, who actually did it because Evan had a clean record and Eddie didn't mind taking the hit. This episode allows us to see that Eddie has a good heart, however much of a trouble-maker or rebel he tries to come across as. If you're not going to watch another episode of Season 3, this is the one to watch.
Seinfeld: Good News, Bad News (1989)
The start of it all
Seinfeld is the best of the best when it comes to comedy writing. Every line, every joke, every single word uttered by any of the main characters - Jerry, George, Kramer, or Elaine (who was not in the pilot) - is so well-crafted. This was a great episode. George accompanies Jerry to do his laundry, Kramer tells Jerry about how he "almost" became a lawyer, and Jerry receives a house guest that sends a lot of mixed signals. It truly is a show about nothing. But the way each episode draws our attention to the brilliance of the writing allows it to soar way above everyday television.
The Goldbergs: The Dynamic Duo (2017)
Batman and university
In this episode of "The Goldbergs", Adam is excited about the new Batman film. Pops isn't thrilled by the idea of Batman being played by Michael Keaton, who played "Beetlebuzz" as he calls it. Barry invites himself to watch the film with them, but they forget about him and go to watch the movie without him. Afterwards, Pops and Adam disagree over which Batman is better - TV's Adam West or Tim Burton's Michael Keaton. Meanwhile, Erica attends college interviews and soon realises that she doesn't have a backup. It's a funny episode of the show. It's relevant in the way that people still argue over which Batman is the best. The argument still involves Michael Keaton, but has moved on to include Christian Bale as well. It's also interesting seeing what will happen with Erica, now that she is ready to go off to university. I don't really like her character, but I did like her singing in the rain moment - and Toto's "Africa" being on the soundtrack of this episode.
Quiz Show (1994)
What a beautiful film
This is one of the greatest films no one has ever heard of. It is unbelievably underrated, considering that it was directed by the well-known actor-turned-director Robert Redford and features such familiar faces as Ralph Fiennes (Voldemort in Harry Potter) and John Turturro, who is actually a fabulous actor, even though nowadays he is mostly famous for his kooky supporting roles in comedies. This is a well-written, well-acted film. The film's tagline "Fifty million people watched, but no one saw a thing" is also great, almost on par with Alien's "In space no one can hear you scream."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Passion (1998)
A 10 rating just seems way too low
This is the greatest episode of Buffy I have seen so far. The plot of the episode is intriguing, compelling, and so interesting that I don't think I can ever forget it. Also, for once, the actors don't over-act and actually portray the emotions that the characters would feel with complete honesty. Alyson Hannigan is the best actress of the show. She gives an excellent performance in this episode demonstrating the simple charm that makes her characters on TV/in movies so likable. Sarah Michelle Gellar, who I think is an average actress at best, gives a surprisingly deep performance. I also appreciate the character development of Buffy, Giles, Angel, Spike, and Cordelia.
The tone of the episode is also something worthy of admiration. The plot developed so wonderfully as well. I usually feel that episodes of Buffy have great premises but carelessness ruins them. The plots are usually either fallacious, underdeveloped, stretched, or ruined in some other way (whether it's with minor mistakes or gigantic plot holes). However, this episode did not have much of that. The tone is exhilarating and so appropriate to the story. The music adds to this tone and makes the episode even more amazing. This is not an episode of Buffy to miss.
Would have been better as a short film
The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain is a decent film. It is charming and features a wonderful cast. The story is interesting and quite entertaining. However, the premise would have served better for a short film rather than a feature film. Like many of Woody Allen's movies, the small plot is stretched to suit a film far too long for the idea. This film should have been 40 or so minutes long. Even 70 minutes would have been too long for this type of story. Even though it's a pretty short film in its own right, it was still too long for its story. Aside from that one flaw though, it was a quaint and enjoyable film with a heart and hilarious characters.