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Reviews
Night Swim (2024)
Excellent Supernatural Horror
The people who are calling this movie boring probably thought The Ring was boring. Night Swim has a great, engaging story, excellent pacing, terrific acting, great direction, and tons of suspense. The only downside is that the creatures weren't really that great, but you don't see them for very long so don't let that keep you from seeing this film.
This story of a haunted pool-bet you've never seen that before-starts with a thrilling, scary opening sequence and moves right along from there. It was well-cast with Wyatt Russell as a baseball player (I know his sport was hockey but it's well-known that his famous dad played baseball) and a realistic looking family with very good acting by the youngsters especially. They move into their first real home because, due to MS, dad can no longer play ball. He uses the pool for his therapy, and begins to get better, while each member of the family has their own terrifying moment in the water. I don't want to give away any spoilers, but as a horror fan, it gave me exactly what I wanted.
I enjoyed it very much, and not once was I bored,but if you're looking for gore and cheap kills, perhaps this isn't the movie for you .
The Fear Footage (2018)
If I Could Rate it Zero I Would
I'm so angry that I wasted money to rent this on prime because someone on X said it was scary. It's NOT SCARY AT ALL. My brother and I made better movies than this with our Super 8 camera in the 70s. The problem now is that anyone with an ego can make a "film," market it on the internet and make a buck.
The "found footage" in this case is a bunch of VHS tapes a police officer finds while exploring a mysterious murder house. They're all just dumb and the first one steals mercilessly from several other, scarier movies. You won't remember any of them the next day. What you will remember is wasting your time and money
Don't make the same mistake I did. It's not only not scary- it's BORING, which is the biggest crime of all for horror. Don't say you weren't warned.
The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs (2018)
For the True Horror Connoisseurs
Those of us who grew up in the 60s and 70s remember it well- when the muti-screen cinemas (we didn't call them "cineplexes" then) came to town and suddenly our beloved drive-ins stopped showing all the first-run flicks. They resorted to showing the worst, most disgusting, depraved, violently gross (or grossly violent) low-budget horror movies ever dug out of the slop trough, and we kept going to the drive-in. Why? Because that miasma of gore and chaos was, 9 times out of 10, much easier to take than the horror show going on in our own homes. So we sat there, gorging ourselves on rancid hot dogs, popcorn, Jujubes and soda while we watched the mutant babies, bloodthirsty butchers and mama's murdering boys do their thing on the giant screen.
Years later, when it became possibly to actually rent a DVD player and a movie, did you reach for one of those flicks, as I did? (Mine was HG Lewis' "Wizard of Gore." What was yours?)
We thought we were alone, and weird-mutants ourselves, in fact-until we met "Joe Bob Briggs" the character created by the positively brilliant John Bloom, and we realized that, hey! Not only does he like these movies, he knows a boatload about them! AND, while watching "The Last Drive-In," we have found a gigantic community of other mutants and we are welcomed by them and they GET IT. They are just as able to enjoy a classic like "Nosferatu" as they are to enjoy a crazy mess like "HOGZILLA!"
The bonus of the show? The effervescent "Darcy the Mail Girl!" She interacts with fans, gives Joe Bob the what-for when required, cosplays, and has an eye-roll for the record books!
This show is not for everyone, and that's ok. Because in spite of the bullying and other tortures many TLDI fans endured when we were young, we always knew WE were special! 😉
It Follows (2014)
Does NOT Live up to the Hype
I am completely disappointed in this movie...especially after all the great reviews. I rarely write reviews, but if I can save one other person from being as disappointed as I was, then the time spent is worth it. First of all, the synopsis here and in other places online is an outright LIE>" ...But after a seemingly innocent sexual encounter, she finds herself plagued by strange visions and the inescapable sense that someone, something, is following her."
SPOILER: She doesn't have strange visions or an "inescapable sense..." blah blah blah. She knows RIGHT AWAY what is going on because the guy she has sex with ties her up and exposes it to her right away, explaining what is happening and telling her what to do to get rid of it. So this intimation that there's all this suspense in trying to figure out the mystery is bull.
Secondly, the loving long shots of scenery were fine in the beginning but they got REALLY old after a while. Please see The Ring to find out how this SHOULD be done to add to the atmosphere of a film.
Third, the score that everyone is raving about is loud, amateurish and distracting. It doesn't enhance the film at all. It's inappropriately "fun" in several scenes and has no obvious theme. Comparing it to John Carpenter's work is a laugh. More like Napoleon Dynamite. No, wait..that's an insult to Napoleon Dynamite.
Fourth, what freaking year is this supposed to be? All of the appliances...TVS, radios, phones, electric TYPEWRITERS, are straight out of the 70s, yet once character has an e-reader or a cell phone or whatever that clamshell things is supposed to be. Again, these anachronisms don't add to the aura...they are just distracting. I kept thinking.."Was this movie filmed in some country where they don't have modern things?"
Last, it WAS NOT SCARY. There were a few cheap jump-in-your-seat moments, but the idea of someone walking toward me who might hurt me but can't walk fast is really dumb. Just exactly what does it DO? We see the results of one such encounter at the very beginning, but aside from the weirdo SPOILER mom character having sex with her dead son, I can't figure out how she killed him. STUPID.
I wish I'd stayed home and watched THE RING instead. Don't waste your time.