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Stand by Me (1986)
Do we ever have friends like when we were 12?
Poignant, and moving from the opening scene, Stand By Me is told through the narration of 40 something year old Gordie, who when reading about the death of his friend Chris, reminisces on the summer of 1959, when he was twelve.
From there, the story takes us on Gordies journey along with his friends Chris, Teddy and Vern. When Vern overhears his older brother talking with a pal about a dead body they found after taking a drive in a boosting a car, Vern rushes to tell his gang about what he had heard. With a plan to become local heroes, Gordie and the gang decide to hike to the location of the body and claim they made the discovery!
The body has little meaning in this movie, because what this movie is really about is the boys adventure and the relationships that are thus cemented between them in the process. Their constant company makes each of them gradually open up to one another about their feelings of ostracisation from their families. Gordies parents idolised his older brother, and when he died, Gordie became invisible to them. Chris' father is a violent drunk who beats him regularly and Teddy has a peculiar admiration for his father who we learn is in a lunatic asylum.
The way the characters talk about passed events don't necessarily have any bearing on the story, but do in cases, wonderfully build character backgrounds.
Although this story is really about Gordie, it is Chris, played by River Phoenix who is the standout.
I think what makes this film so powerful is the depth of these characters; Gordie and Chris are misunderstood by everyone, but understand each other. They have an inseparable bond but in character couldn't be more different.
Chris comes from a bad background but has dreams of achieving great success.
Gordie who has good background, has no aspirations except just to fit in with the friends he admires.
After the death of Gordies brother Dennis, Chris is the only person left in Gordies life to appreciate his talent as a writer and storyteller, or indeed as a person. He strongly encourages him to pursue writing and not waste his life with the intentions of following in the footsteps of his 'dropout' friends. Whenever one of them is down, the other picks the other one up again.
It's moments like these that makes this a truly significant film.
It is sentimental, comical, nostalgic, and at times heartwarming, Stand By Me is a masterpiece. There are few films that are as close to perfection as this! Absolutely everything is done right; the doo-wop music, the gorgeous woody Oregon locations, the actors chemistry, the very ordinary childhood scenarios, everything is just gold!
Anybody who grew up surrounded by close friends in a small town, got into mischief, found themselves frequently dodging exasperated adults and hiding from bullies will immediately relate to this movie. It's all there, exactly how it you remember it!
Hell High (1987)
Raging Fury
I don't really know where to start with this one. I'm not going to pretend this isn't a bad movie, but it's not a 'so bad it's good' movie either, so it has the unfortunate disposition of being somewhere in between - the kind nobody loved or remembers!
The plot is sort of plausible. It's about a disgruntled student who, with his pals, stalk and terrorize a teacher from their high school. This probably has happened somewhere, kids can be pretty cruel and calculating, after all. In this movie however, the kids go too far and the teacher starts mutilating the intruders. This most likely 'didn't happen somewhere' and that is when things get ridiculous, but it's just one of those movies you have to accept for what it is.
There are a couple of good actors in this film, without whom, this movie would grind to a brain crushing halt, because the rest of the cast, while I have seen much worse, are pretty lame.
Talking about implausible moments, there's a scene where Jon Jon goes to steal a 'piece of evidence' from the school quarterback who is at a restaurant dining with two friends. Jon Jon steals a jersey and is spotted by the trio as he drives away from the restaurant. So what do they do? They immediately leave, without paying their bill, to chase Jon Jon. The quarterbacks tyre is flat so two of them take a motorbike and leave one of the friends, a girl, behind standing outside at the restaurant! Why? How is this normal? There are several moments like this in the movie which you'll just have to roll with.
The film does have some good ambient music in parts, but nothing spectacular and in addition, there were actually several songs written for this film. You can't Google them, because they don't exist, but as you might expect from a low rent horror of this period, it's the sort of cheesy 80s synth pop that fortunately died out before the 90s came around.
This film then? It's so devastatingly bland that you forget sometimes that you're not watching a home movie!
I remember watching it as a teenager, so I guess it IS sort of memorable! Sort of!
Unsane (2018)
Far fetched but fun
I knew from the very first scene this wasn't filmed with Panavision cameras. It looks cheap and included no zoom (probably because the quality would be compromised) because I recently learned it was actually made using a phone camera!
So suffice to say this film is experimental, and fair do's they made a quite decent movie on a phone which saves money, but then you put Matt Damon in it??? There goes the money you saved!
Foy is nice to watch, especially when she is being detained. I found her authoritive demeaner while at her job quite annoying, but this film was shot in 10 days so perhaps character development was compromised as well as film quality.
Leonards character is Foys stalker and he is the archetypal creepy loner in appearance; sensible looking and softly spoken. We aren't sure whether Foys claims that he really is her stalker or that she is actually mad at this point in the film because we aren't sure where the film is going yet, but a bit of ambiguity is good in any movie.
As far as flaws go, Unsane has many, some I just cannot see past, like for instance; the mental hospital is clearly a fancy office building. There is no door security or barbed wire fencing. Everything inside the wards just doesn't look right. It looks really B-movie, and yet we have some pretty big stars in it.
I did enjoy it, but this is no One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, and I doubt very much they intended it to be. It's throwaway cinema, take it or leave it.
Ripley's Game (2002)
Unfairly overshadowed by Matt Damons entree
After an art deal goes sour, Tom Ripley and Reeves part ways after cutting up the money and leaving a Berlin collectors assistant dead.
Ripley retires to Italy and is living in a vast paladian villa in the Veneto. Some time later we learn Ripley didn't exactly split the booty fairly and despite Ripley telling him never to come near him again, comes home to find Reeves in his kitchen cooking eggs!
To even the score, Reeves wants Ripley to murder a man who is in competition in his restaurant business in Berlin. Ripley agrees, but has no intention of carrying out the deed himself.
Enter picture framer Jonathan Trevanny, a mild mannered chap who is dying of leukemia. Trevanny insults Ripley when at his birthday party and this is where things start to get ugly. Ripley passes Trevannys information on to Reeves who in turn contacts Trevanny.
Trevanny is persuaded into carrying out the murder for $100000, and trying thereafter to hide it from his wife Sarah. Sarah is nobody's fool and she knows there is something ominous going on. Meanwhile Trevanny is in over his head and he can't get out!
Things finally come to a head; Trevanny loses everything,
Reeves is murdered by his Russian rivals,
and Tom Ripley wins the 'game'!
The film finishes with Ripley turning up just in time to see his girlfriends harpsichord concert like it was just another day.
Shot on location in Italy and Germany, it has less of the Hollywood feel, and more of the underplayed approach than that of The Talented Mr Ripley, and in my personal opinion, John Malkovich is the only Tom Ripley. Matt Damon was a kind of undercover Harvard graduate type where as Malkovich brings an older, more sinister sociapathic Ripley. He is like a serial killer, but one with taste and class. He is as calm and calculating as he is psychotic. Killing people is a part of life. He has no obvious emotion.
The characters in this film are very well developed. The on screen chemistry between Winstone and Malkovich especially is naturally engaging.
The backdrops with the aerial shot are gorgeous, the Ennio Morricone harpsichord score adds to the unique feel, and in that Italian way just oozes chic and it's something you don't really get in an American film.
Some say The Matt Damon film is superior, but I disagree. If you like a film that is conclusive and leaves you with a 'feel good' emotion then I would say you will enjoy the Damon version more, but there are so many films that give you that feeling. If you want to finish a film with a 'what the hell just happened' feeling, a film that leaves you dumbfounded, then tune in to Ripley's Game.
Thelma & Louise (1991)
Unique and controversial
Thelma is a sexy woman in her mid 30s, who is married to man (Darryl) that has little interest her wellbeing. Her best friend is Louise, a somewhat older lady who isn't married but is in a relationship with a guy called (Jimmy) who is a pretty decent guy but has always taken Louise for granted.
The two disenchanted women decide to get away from men and have a girly weekend away at cabin belonging to Louises boss.
Things are merry as the girls load up the Thunderbird and head out on the highway. I will mention now that the backdrops in Thelma & Louise are stunning. Filming mostly in the Moab area of Utah, it almost has that Easy Rider feel to it.
Before reaching the cabin they stop at a country club on route, where Thelma gets drunk with a seedy and lecherous local, Harlan. He ultimately tries to rape Thelma but is thwarted by Louise who turns up with a gun and finally murders him.
Thelma and Louise, in their panic, hastily leave the crime scene. They conclude that their best option is to not turn themselves in, and instead go on the run.
This is when their characters really come alive. They stay one step ahead of the law by any means they can. Chased by the FBI and Arkansas police officer Hal Slocum, an understanding man and the only good guy in the movie. The film portrays all men as baddies and all women as the goodies, which was extremely controversial at the time.
The scenery married to a score by Hans Zimmer and various country rock music makes this film a masterpiece. It is very possible you know how this film ends even if you have never watched it, so epic and powerful and unexpected it is, and I doubt anybody watching it for the first time saw it coming.
Throughout the film we are excited the women fled their lovers, we are on their side, and when they are running from the law, we are with them even more.
We don't want the police to catch them, but what chances do they have in avoiding that eventuality when they're on a cliff edge and there are 100 cops behind them with rifles?
Watch it and find out! It is both deeply satisfying and heartwrenching at the same time and it is absolutely perfect!
Heat (1995)
Heat was never that hot!
You know when you have one of those feelings about a movie whether you're going to enjoy it or if it's going to be a just waste of your time? I had a feeling on the latter, so l had put seeing this one on the backburner for that reason, but after all the raving reviews (anything over 8* has to be quite good, right?) I thought, sod it, l might as well give it a shot.
Well, the first 10 minutes were as good as most good movies so l carried on. It wasn't too long before it went flat. I've seen films rated at 6* that are far more entertaining than Heat. I really want to know how people choose their ratings for films, because from what l can tell, they seem to be getting everything backwards. Inception for instance, with DiCaprio, what was that?? Over 8* and completely confusing. That one l trod water for only 25 minutes before turning it off and wondering how the hell people were even watching it, let alone enjoying it to 8.6* degree!
I digress and we aren't talking about Inception. Heat is NOT an 8*+ film folks, it just isn't.
It has action, sometimes, but between any action is bland conversations between very excellent actors.
To buy into a film, l need to relate to the characters, care for them in some way. I couldn't relate to any of them. For me this film really was a disappointment.
I will trust my gut next time.
If you want to see a good cops and robbers flick, try the Getaway, with Steve McQueen, or the French Connection, or Mesrine and enjoy.
Autostop rosso sangue (1977)
Shattered expectations
This is very nearly a B-movie. The acting is pretty amateur and some of the cast are rather irritating; namely Adam. His laughing got so wearisome that I almost just stopped the film.
The setting is supposed to be somewhere between Los Angeles and Las Vegas. This would be fine if the film was shot in say, Arizona or Utah, or anywhere with a deserty sort of backdrop, but this was filmed in Italy, so obviously you need a pretty good imagination to buy into this theory.
Because of this lack of realism, I couldn't take the film seriously. Being set in cowboy country added nothing to the plot, and took away any credibility the film otherwise had.
The story is actually very good, although not exactly original, but everything just seemed to be a missed opportunity in my mind.
What I did like was the lashing of nudity, which we don't get in Hollywood films, but besides that, there is no compelling reason to see this movie.
Get Out (2017)
Missed opportunity
I'm confused by this film, and after the hype I truly expected a lot more.
Two lovers; a white woman and a black man go to visit the womans family, at their mansion where everything is a little unusual and slightly tense. The family have black servants, reminiscent of plantations of yesteryear, and they all act possessed.
I didn't like any of the characters except Chris, who was brilliant, underplayed his role and was a genuinely likable character. Only he and his friend Rod, who was pretty damned funny, were the only good characters here.
It had some quite creepy moments, but they were too few and far between, and some of the dialog was so cringe worthy I actually gave up on the film initially.
What it could have had, if the plot been more plausible, is potentially a Jacobs Ladder/The Shining horror type quality. Mixing comedy with horror is no easy task. It isn't as funny or as frightening as say 'An American Werewolf in London', in fact, it's pretty mediocre on all levels.
I very generously give this film a 6.
The Magdalene Sisters (2002)
An horrific true story
There are films that will scare you, shock you and even depress you as you are watching them. Then there are those which do all these things subtly and by the end your mind is blown and you actually find yourself speechless. The Magdelene Sisters is one of those that falls into the latter category. Not only did this film shock me, but the experience of watching it is still haunting me. The film finishes with unsettling and unforgettable stills of the four 'sisters' faces respectively, with their futures explained in text.
It bears a close resemblance in mood to One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, and Mother Superior could be compared to Nurse Ratched, both of which are belittling and sadistic.
The fact that this is not fictitious is even more scary. On top of that, it's not even ancient history; the last asylum closed in 1996.
Whether it was budget restraints or other reasons, I think that it was a wise decision not to cast big names in this film. It made it more real, somehow. It's isn't a terribly exciting film either, it kind of drags for the first half, but actually, because of this, it brings the torture of the environment home to us. We feel what the girls feel, and there is a moment of elation when one girl beats up one of the nuns during an escape scene.
I never knew of these asylums before watching the film and it was only afterwards I researched them, and this film depicts without censorship.
Zwartboek (2006)
A different kind of war film
I won't spoil it for you, there are other reviews you can read for that. What I will tell you is this; just watch it!
This film is in multiple languages, so you may need subtitles, but it really doesn't detract, in fact I think it actually adds something.
It has a bit of everything this movie, except humour, but this is a serious film based on a monumental historic moment - WW2.
It's an exciting film, it's an erotic film, it's a sad film but yet, it's also a feel-good film, and there is not one flat scene in it's 140 minute run time.
This is honestly the best film I've seen in years, a film I came across whilst trying to find something a bit different, and after watching it, I can't believe I had never heard of it before.
These European movies always get overshadowed by Hollywood, but I've always found them more sophisticated and enjoyable, and this one is no different.
Please do yourselves are favour and watch this film...it is GOLD!
Shark Exorcist (2014)
Well...
Have you ever seen Troll 2? How about The Edge of Hell, or Shark Attack 3? Whether you have or not,I will tell you that Shark Exorcist makes those films look like Oscar contenders, and I'm not exaggerating!
Conclusion: this film is total s**t..
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
A worthy sequel
Really, they could have called this film 'Terminator vs Terminator", but it's actually much better than that genre of cashing-in cinema..
I like T2, it has so many exciting moments in it, it's difficult not to like it.
Where the first film was a Sci-Fi horror, this is an all-out action movie, and probably one of the best. CGI was new when this came out, and is therefore not overblown like todays films, including the following Terminator sequels.
While this is still a good story, it has gone slightly too far in the far-fetched arena. With these sort of movies you have to reel it in a bit to make it believable, which the first film did, but this is entry is borderline silly. I will also say it did drag a bit for me. The chases are the most exhilarating parts, in opinion, and they really are that, but I wish there had been more of that like in The Terminator.
If you want lots of guns and explosions and seeing what happens when you mess with the Terminator, this is the one to watch. While the action is brilliant, it's let down by some pretty cheesy moments; John Connor is trying to be that little bit too cool, Sarah Connor is irritating in her new marine corps/tough b**ch persona, and the T800 talks too much which unfortunately removes some of the imperative cyborg elements.
All told, an entertaining action movie with some great music, but just don't expect it to blow your mind like the original.
The Terminator (1984)
The best of the series
T2 was good fun; the action and cool factor is way up there, but.... this, the original Terminator is the real deal. In fact, I'm shocked that it's rated lower than the sequel. We won't even mention anything after the 2nd film because they're just not worth it. They were for the kids. Now back to the film in question.
We all know the story, so I won't bother with explaining it. What I will do is give you my reasons as to why I think The Terminator is THE film of the franchise.
The Terminator is a much better character as a baddie, and as baddies go, he's BAD! Arnie nails it in the role which catapulted him into super-stardom and he is absolutely terrifying. Let's remember that while the action is still good, this is a 'horror' film, and while we can deem this inferior to T2, nobody will deny the atmosphere is superior with the original.
The atmosphere is dark, filmed mostly at night in bleak and deserted areas of Los Angeles, with a music score by Brad Fiedel which will make the hair stand on end! You won't raise a smile either watching this, it's an intense rollercoaster ride from beginning to end. It doesn't make you jump like todays horrors, it in fact induces a slow feeling of dread, especially as the Terminator says very few words throughout the film and gives you the overall impression that it is one very evil thing that just wants to kill it's target no matter what..and that is scary!
It's a good story too, because it's original. Apparently it came to director James Cameron in a dream, in the same way as Yesterday did with Paul McCartney.
I'm not going to nitpick that Camerons depiction of the future was a bit off, because that's missing the point, it's a truly monumental moment in cinema history, and every sequel owes itself to this.
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Superb and menacing
I only usually write reviews for films that have touched me in some way. This is one of those films..
But what can I say about No Country for Old Men that hasn't already been said?
This is very very excellent movie, that has the right balance of direction where it gains momentum and holds it there. There are no flat spots in this film, not really. I know some reviews have stated the contrary, but no more than any other film.
The characters all have depth here, and they are perfectly cast. Brolin is our protagonist Llewellyn and he's the typical type of rough neck southerner, but a sort of nice guy at the same time. Whilst out shooting he happens upon a drug deal that went wrong, finds a case full of money and sets about getting out of the country with it.
Whilst all this is happening we are introduced to protagonist, Anton, and we learn that he's been contracted to retrieve the money that Llewellyn has fled with, at any cost. This character is played by Javier Bardem, and never has anybody on screen been so disturbingly scary. Anton is a complete psychopath, he likes hurting people. At times, he bears no facial expression, his eyes look though people, he has no conscience. You might be thinking right now 'sounds like Arnie in Terminator'.. NO, much, much scarier, but, like Terminator, he chases his victim with the same relentless vigilance. But this film is much more than some hunt flick; the characters are clever, and one close call follows another. It's extremely gripping.
Other characters blend in beautifully, there are no throw aways to speak of, and there are some big names with rather minor roles, combined to make this a wonderfully acted thriller.
The atmosphere is perfect. I lust for films which bring this sort of feel to them, I haven't found many, but in truth, I think it's only this film and some Roman Polanski numbers. Films like this, really put you in the moment, you feel uneasy, you feel excited. I actually found myself clenching my fists very tightly throughout this movie, it's that powerful!
Along with the great atmosphere is the delightful and bleak backdrop; this is after all in Texas where the open space and colour is very pleasing to the eye. It's also perfect for a film such as this because as we watch Llewellyn being hunted down by gun wielding drug dealers in the desert, we realise there really is nowhere for him to hide.
I can't recommend this film enough. I'm giving it a 9/10 because, as brilliant as it is, I was a bit disappointed by the ending, but more to the point, it doesn't quite have that 'perfection' like films such as The Godfather, or perhaps, Schindlers List, but on the other hand, I found NCFOM much more enjoyable, and I think, that's the point.
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Superb and menacing
I only usually write reviews for films that have touched me in some way. This is one of those films..
But what can I say about No Country for Old Men that hasn't already been said?
This is very very excellent movie, that has the right balance of direction where it gains momentum and holds it there. There are no flat spots in this film, not really. I know some reviews have stated the contrary, but no more than any other film.
The characters all have depth here, and they are perfectly cast. Brolin is our protagonist Llewellyn and he's the typical type of rough neck southerner, but a sort of nice guy at the same time. Whilst out shooting he happens upon a drug deal that went wrong, finds a case full of money and sets about getting out of the country with it.
Whilst all this is happening we are introduced to protagonist, Anton, and we learn that he's been contracted to retrieve the money that Llewellyn has fled with, at any cost. This character is played by Javier Bardem, and never has anybody on screen been so disturbingly scary. Anton is a complete psychopath, he likes hurting people. At times, he bears no facial expression, his eyes look though people, he has no conscience. You might be thinking right now 'sounds like Arnie in Terminator'.. NO, much, much scarier, but, like Terminator, he chases his victim with the same relentless vigilance. But this film is much more than some hunt flick; the characters are clever, and one close call follows another. It's extremely gripping.
Other characters blend in beautifully, there are no throw aways to speak of, and there are some big names with rather minor roles, combined to make this a wonderfully acted thriller.
The atmosphere is perfect. I lust for films which bring this sort of feel to them, I haven't found many, but in truth, I think it's only this film and some Roman Polanski numbers. Films like this, really put you in the moment, you feel uneasy, you feel excited. I actually found myself clenching my fists very tightly throughout this movie, it's that powerful!
Along with the great atmosphere is the delightful and bleak backdrop; this is after all in Texas where the open space and colour is very pleasing to the eye. It's also perfect for a film such as this because as we watch Llewellyn being hunted down by gun wielding drug dealers in the desert, we realise there really is nowhere for him to hide.
I can't recommend this film enough. I'm giving it a 9/10 because, as brilliant as it is, I was a bit disappointed by the ending, but more to the point, it doesn't quite have that 'perfection' like films such as The Godfather, or perhaps, Schindlers List, but on the other hand, I found NCFOM much more enjoyable, and I think, that's the point.
Game of Thrones (2011)
I don't get it
You can have as many big stars in your film or series but it doesn't necessarily make it a winner. If you've seen The Cannonball Run 2 you'll understand where I'm coming from here.
I'm sure there are some quite good plots among the series and I won't criticise that, but the acting is unnecessary. When you go to see a play at a theatre the actors will, even if there supposed to emphasize whispering, will shout with much drama. This is so the people at the back of the audience can hear what's being said. You don't need to do this on television, they use microphones and the audience has a remote to control the audible volume. In Game of Thrones however, the actors have obviously forgotten they're no longer on a stage in front of a thousand people, so they carry on in the usual Shakespearean fashion and that for me completely vanquished any interest I may have otherwise had.
Now the thing I don't understand is this - the show has been on for about 5 years now, but it's only in the last year/18 months people have started talking about it. No wait, going f***ing mental about it. Why?! Why NOW!?
To some people this show has become a religion and that's fine, but they're also folk out there who enjoy voyeurism and that's umm....fine too.
The Lord of the Rings (1978)
Overlooked and underrated"
Now those of you who watched the Peter Jackson adaptions of the book first, I can understand the disappointment you may have seeing this animated version from the 1970s. If however, you were growing up during the late 20th century when this was the only version available to you, I'm sure you probably have now a completely different opinion, in fact you may even look upon it oppositely.
When I was very young I was enthralled by this film - it was well animated and the use of rotoscoping for the Orcs really works a treat. The Orcs are genuinely frightening for younger audiences and I sometimes wonder that had the film been made today, would they be at all? The 1970s was a glorious time for powerful disturbing imagery, we saw it in many commercials for the period and it has not been spared here.
Almost all the characters in this adaptation have the perfect voice actors. I particularly liked John Hurt as Aragorn and I also liked William Squire as Gandalf very much. You can tell that they really researched their roles here and executed it with passion. The other great thing with this film is the music score, almost the same as in 'The Car' (same composer) but here it really is perfectly suited.
The artwork you may find familiar-- any fans of HR Giger out there? Well he designed much of the beautifully haunting backdrops for the film and combined with all these great talents, this movie really deserves appreciation. In fact Peter Jackson himself gives much credit to Ralph Bakshi for his efforts.
It not without its flaws though I assure you. For one thing, Sam is IN LOVE with Frodo, and he is also quite irritating at times. The film is indeed cut short but believe there was due to be a following film later which never materialised. There are other things but they're really just quibbles.
It's a very enjoyable animation, just don't compare it to Peter Jackson works.
The Graduate (1967)
Here's to another classic..
It took me a while to get around to watching this film. For reasons unknown to me I thought it would be just another average piece of 60s cinema, but boy was I wrong. It touched me in such a way that I could relate with almost every scene.
A simple story about a man coming into his twenties and is seduced by his parents close friend, Mrs Robinson, expertly played by Anne Bancroft. After being pressured by his parents to take Mrs Robinsons daughter on a date, things get messy between literally everybody in the film. To his surprise, Benjamin (Hoffman) ends up falling in love with the girl and ends up ruining his relationships with everybody else in the process.
The film has a believable story played by an excellent cast - Hoffman is a stand out. The film is beautifully woven together by music from the inimitable duo Simon & Garfunkel, making this film a real joy to behold. They are a couple of scenes which drag a little, but don't let that stop you. It's a fantastic movie...
Interstate '76 (1997)
Hey Stampede, how about a review?
Another one of those games which never got the following it deserved. You're Groove Champion and you inherit your sisters old muscle car with which to avenge her death. Together with a guy called Taurus, you drive across the American southwest fighting against an army which is trying to take over the worlds oil supply, leading you eventually to the murderer of Grooves sister Jade.
As this is a car-combat game you'd fully expect the main focus of the designers would be to create only that, nothing more. When I first played this back in 1997 I realised it wasn't really the combat that won me over to this game, it was the way the vehicles drove, the open terrain in which you play and the atmosphere which made you feel like you were really in a desert and long way from anywhere. I used to enjoy coming along side normal civilians who were minding their own business driving down a stretch of highway and blow them away with my pistol!
The cars are based on actual vehicles, late 60s muscle cars, trucks and helicopters of the era in which the game is based - the mid seventies. And just to make sure you didn't forget, there's the ever funky disco soundtracks on your car radio!
Another great feature I loved at the time was the multi angle views of your car during play. It was a game which really gave you the impression there were no limits. In a time where most car games were severely restricted, Interstate 76 let us explore far from Tarmac to literally anywhere its possible for a car to go.
Conclusion then; this game is a gem, sincerely a one off, I don't think there's been another game quite like it since, and I doubt there ever will be. You can tell this game was personal to its creator/s, it wasn't a huge success like Tomb Raider or Doom, both inferior games, but look at influence it has even today! The sequel 'Interstate 82' is a complete disaster next to 76, and Vigilante 8 probably even worse, but I recommend you to play 76 without judgement of its age.
Thief: The Dark Project (1998)
The Godfather of stealth gaming
The original Thief game and possibly the best of them so far. Back in the late 1990s there was nothing to touch it, we'd never seen anything quite like it before and even today it remains one of my personal favourites.
It still has the great atmosphere it always did, despite the graphics being obviously out of date by today's standards. But graphics aside, there's no denying the game has a fantastic story, with a genuine evil mastermind which you spend the second half of the game hunting down. It leads Garrett through a world of murky streets, stately manors, tunnels and labyrinths to name a few, filled by many colourful and interesting characters, with some of the best and funniest banter between guards you'll ever hear.
Thief : Dark Project is as frightening as it is exciting, with only basic weapons at your disposal, you'll always feel vulnerable. You're most powerful weapons in this game are your ears and your eyes, quite different to the usual slasher/shooter games up until that point.
Play The Dark Project again and again. It's the original and what other stealth games should learn by, including I'm afraid, the makers of there latest Thief entry.
The Big Bang Theory (2007)
What happened to comedy?!
If this is what makes folk laugh these days then humour hasn't just changed, it's disappeared. I think if you do genuinely find this show funny, you must be living an intolerable life, because you probably find yourself walking around laughing hysterically at inanimate objects! I mean it, genocide is more comical.
The characters are not just boring, they're irritating to the point of making you want to kill them, and as slowly as possible. It's repetitive, it's flat, it's colourless and it's on television all the time, which lets no space for deservedly funny, well-written comedies. But the worst thing about this show, the screech of a crying baby when you're hungover, nails scraping down the longest blackboard in the world, is the canned laughter. It's there to remind you to laugh. There are videos out on YouTube which will show you episodes of this crap without the laugh track. This doesn't make it the show better, in truth it turns a very humourless show into a painfully awkward and nauseous one.
I wish I could rate the show lower than the solitary star it doesn't deserve because it atrocious.
The Sweeney (2012)
God blimey Guv, what happened?
What exactly did happen here then?
The original TV series would turn in its grave with this 21st century remake. The 1970s Classic we all knew and loved has been disgraced here, and to tell you the truth I never really had high expectations for this film when I heard they were making it, but the finished article is so much worse than I could have imagined.
Jack Regan originally played by John Thaw who portrayed the character as a no nonsense hard man but professional all the while, which is more than can be said for the Ray Winstone edition. I admired Winstone in Ripleys Game, and he fit the bill perfectly for that film but in this one he's made Regan an unprofessional thug of a police officer with more use of the F word than Gordon Ramsey ever did. His character is made even less believable by his much younger (and much prettier) love interest. Why she would be interested in a man like this is beyond me but there it is.
Now George Carter, no surprise here that this portrayal would be a disaster too. What we have here is a complete chav who just got outta jail to become a respected law enforcer. OK! when does that ever happen in real life. He was totally unwatchable, totally irritating and so not the right actor for the part AGAIN.
The whole film makes no sense at all, I doubt the writer or director ever bothered to watch the original series but if they did they must have though it was dull or something. Bad direction, lack of typical Cockney humour, plot and likable Cockney characters.
Totally shocking. Don't buy it, don't even watch it online.
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987)
This movie is SO bad, you just have to get it.
The only reason I'm voting this movie at 10 is because it's so delightfully terrible. If you have an IQ of 5 you will find this movie quite insulting to your intelligence - its THAT bad. The film crew probably grabbed random people off the street to act in this lousy excuse for a horror flick. But what do you expect when the entire movie was made on a budget of $5.56p.
The acting almost seems deliberately bad as if the actors aren't taking it seriously, and some of the dialog is so stomach-churningly cheesy it will make you cringe.
Lets talk about the actual characters
John Triton: is a smug mullet bearing drag-queen on steroids and is the lead singer of the rock band and 'undercover' archangel.
Randy: is Tritons horny wife, who is like a child when she doesn't get what she wants.
Stig: is the drummer for the band and Jim Cirile who plays him is trying to put on either a Cockney, Aussie, or South African accent which suddenly fades away in his last scene. What ever accent it is, he's clearly boll*cks at it.
Max and Dee Dee: are two complete space cadets who have been in the band for an unknown length of time but suddenly fall madly in love, spend the whole time fantasizingly gawping at each other until they finally get down to business.
Roger and Mary: are newly weds who insist on drilling the fact they are actually married into everybody's heads and have a past-time for washing up.
Phil: the bands nerdy manager who is FULL of annoying puns.
So that's them, and none of them can act to save their lives, but equally amusing is the awful use of special effects, some of which are literally sock puppets and play dough starfish (brilliant)!
The storyline is non existent, the music is corny and Tritons outfits are horrendous. If you're rehearsing why would you need to dress up? Triton thinks necessary and changes his outfit for each song (polka dot dress to name one).
This is an incredibly tedious movie, but something makes you hungry to keep watching. What gets me is that absolutely nobody decides to run when they spot one of the monsters, instead they just stare and scream.
There's a van sequence which lasts about 8 Min's, there's a skeleton which comes out of an extremely powerful household oven burnt to a crisp and the camera remains focused on it for about 2 Min's, Randy pulling back the curtains to see Triton outside takes about 4 Min's, and the sock monster dribbling in Phils coffee takes a good half hour. The rest of the movie is of mild porn, cheesy music and washing dishes until the final confrontation.!!!
Triton in his spiked rubber Speedos vs Satan at his 'inflatable' dribbling best. Triton the Archangel kills Satan with a 'sparkler'!
The movie ends with Triton saying 'see you again old scratch'.
Most Annoying Character Award goes to; Randy, who you'll just want to punch, believe me. Worst Australian Accent goes to; Stig, who's attempt is unbelievably fake. Cheesiest Line goes to; Triton - 'Let's tune our weapons'. Ugliest Character Award goes to; Dee Dee (could have played a monster).
Seeing is believing, and you probably still won't believe it once you've seen it.
Verdict; just get it, even if you don't like bad movies. Everyone should see this movie if only once. It's complete and utter dog sh*t, but it's incredibly funny if you don't take it seriously.