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1/10
But, Mr.Dawson ..... what big teeth you have!.
14 September 2015
Warning: Spoilers
The generic father character (from here on referred to as the "GFC") approaches his snarling, demented looking neighbour, "Mr.Dawson", who is currently crouched down in the family kitchen, devouring the corpse of a freshly slain dog. Suspiciously, Mr.Dawson foams from the mouth and tears off pieces of the animals flesh with just his teeth, somewhat out of character for him, but oh well, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Having already encountered a "sick" person that refused to die from fatal wounds, you would think that the GFC would now put 2+2 together, taking this unnatural behaviour as his cue to escort his family to safety, or at the very least, get into attack mode. "Hey..... are you OK?", "is there something wrong with you?", says the GFC, or something equally illogical and unmemorable, as he maintains his approach, unarmed.

The neighbour from hell then turns to directly face the audience, revealing it's cold, blood drenched, really dead looking face!, rounded off by some far-out, supernatural looking eyes. "Do you need a hot towel Mr.Dawson?, your just sick right?" (OK, I'm just making up dialogue now, but you get the point). The actor playing generic father character then very halfheartedly flaps his arms around, trying to fend off Mr.Dawsons truly unsurprising attack.

As horrible as this scene is, it's one of the more energetic and captivating ones (there's actually some zombies in it for one) in what has so far been a dull and improbable affair. Improbable might seem like a strange adjective to describe a show which depicts a zombie apocalypse, but as much as I love to suspend my disbelief in order to watch the undead hordes terrorise the living, I couldn't do it whilst watching this "family drama", where a bunch of wooden actors in boring roles, do things that normal people wouldn't do.

I'd like to add that whilst the original Walking Dead has transitioned into a heavy character piece with smaller flourishes of action, many of those original characters remain interesting. So far, these characters aren't interesting, they're mostly generic to the point of being none existent, and the ones that have stood out, have done so for the wrong reasons. Hey guys, remember those classic Walking Dead characters?, the Mexican barber with the mysterious past (lol, who cares?), or that oily guy who recovered from drugs?.

I guess I was holding out for some zombie chaos with this show, and perhaps a bit more of an action driven plot. It is only episode 3 though, so maybe this review is a bit premature, I've got a strong feeling that it won't be, but we'll see what the next few episodes bring.

4* stars, but awarding it 1* as the current rating is surely fake.
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Mr. Nobody (2009)
4/10
Beautifully created. Anti storytelling
29 March 2011
I'm intrigued.....

Wow, this is beautifully captured & very diverse.....

I feel compelled to each of the parallel stories.....

Every character is acted superbly , this could be a masterpiece.....

This is where it should really start to flow....

Great visuals & imaginative ideas, but lets start to wrap it up boys....

Should come together any minute now......

OK I'm exhausted......

Wait!, When was that?, which one are you now?....

Why are you doing this to me?, please just end....

Where's the off button.....

Is it safe? is it over?.
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5/10
Entertaining if you can look past some of the poor writing & clichés
24 March 2011
This film was brimming with potential, an adept cast, some stylish directing & gritty yet beautiful set locations. However some of the story & the actions taken by its characters were implausible, & most of its ideas didn't develop effectively on screen.

Recently released gangster Colin Farrell meets a young female friend of reclusive celebrity actor Kiera Knightly & offers him a job protecting her from intrusive paparazzi. He shows up for work & What feels like a scene or two later they have (unconvincingly) fallen in love. parallel to this Farrels character is finding it hard to escape his past & is soon roped into a feud with gangster boss Ray Winstone. He is now faced with the dilemma of either returning to his previous nature or beginning a life of new found love in LA.

All this is played out with some very stylish moments, such as the dialogue between Winstone & Farrel in the restaurant or the artistic but realistic way in which the environment is captured. All the acting is well done & Its accompanied by a great soundtrack, but a huge amount of the script feels rushed & underdeveloped. As a whole it is entertaining if not taken to seriously but may not appeal to any serious film enthusiast.

I also felt that the ending of this film was brave but what I had seen prior to it lacked enough substance or attachment to make it stick & I think I would have been more satisfied with a conventional ending.
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1/10
Visual AIDS
6 July 2010
In some instances the worst films can often be the most entertaining. Anyone who has taken the time to watch this probably did so for that very reason. Unfortunately the quality of this films awfulness (????????) isn't even laughable. If they had hired actors to dress up as the title monsters it would have looked more convincing than the CGI, to compensate for the obvious lack of funds the monsters are barely shown on screen, which believe me is a good thing. The acting!!!. If they had gathered up drug addicted homeless people & cast them they would have done a better job than the abysmal attempt made by these 'actors', I would be surprised if any of them have had any work since doing bad 80's porn movies, yes that sounds entertaining but it really isn't!, I laughed at the acting in the first scene of a helicopter pilot but soon realised he was probably the finest actor in the entire film & then it became very boring, very quickly. There is truly nothing enjoyable about this film, & I am writing that as someone who watched it expecting to laugh at a terrible film. How do these people find the strength to get out of bed in the morning?? They arrive at work only to be told by some genius "I've had a great idea, what if the shark fly's out of the sea & eats an airplane". All of you stop making films now.
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