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The Slim Shady Show (2001)
Stupidest thing I ever saw
Het, don't get me wrong, I love animation and vulgar humor, but this show sucked! I have tons of "not for kids" style animation and love them (like Family Guy, the Simpsons, Futurama, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Southpark, Rejected, and many more). I was excited to get this one (hey, I even like Enimem's music). Well, I popped it in and was completely disappointed. Who was this written for, potty-mouthed third graders? Makes Southpark look like the Smurfs?!?!? Who coined that lie? I'm not even a huge Southpark fan, but they are genuinely funny, this stuff, on the other hand was lame and barely slugged through each pointless episode. The best part was when I fell asleep through the whole middle section. I don't know, maybe I missed the best part (which I doubt). All I know is "I don't care". It was a waste of time and money. I can sum it all up in one word - "sucks".
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Let the Zombies rule the world!!!!1
Zombies, zombies, zombies!!!!!! Nice!!! This movies kicked major butt! I read a bunch of reviews and most were positive. Of course tere was the crybaby types who didn't like the gore and sex scenes. To you guys, "Shut up!" If you don't want the aspects of horror movies, go see "On Golden Pond" and leave the Zombie movies for us grownups. I know it didn't follow the original that closely, so the purists didn't like it, but why would you want to see the exact same movie anyway? If that's what you want, bust out the original. This movie had everything! Blood, guts, boobs, boats, busses with snow shovels smashing through crowds of the undead, mashing, crushing, brain munching, chain saws ripping, head exploding, loud music, guys on top of buildings playing shoot-the-zombies-games, unexpected heroes, a zombie baby, a big fat zombie chick, guys that knew what was going on, but stupid people doing stupid things, putting them all in peril. It was great! there's an online site dedicated to reviewing this movie by a genius who knows his zombie movies. I don't remember who it was, but if you search, you'll find it. Of course, if you're a crybaby who thinks blood, guts, and bouncing boobs don't belong in a zombie movie, you may want to opt for a Brother Bear review or something...that or just shut up. As for the rest of you sicko's who know the truth, crank up the Pantera, throw in Dawn of the Dead, bust out the beer and live it up!!!!
28 Days Later... (2002)
28 "hellos" too many
Wow! I saw the movie poster and it had a zombie statement. I was wayyy excited. A new Zombie movie, sweeeeet!!! Well, it came out and there was all these reviews of people saying they peed their pants it scared them so bad. So I ran to see it (insert uncomfortable silence here). Don't get me wrong, it had some nice gore and a few creatures that were like zombies, but what the hell is up with the long drawn out boring-ass dialogue scenes in European movies? Don't they know that us Americans have the answer with gore, loud music, sex, and nonstop action? The thing that got me the most was, didn't monkey-boy (well, he did look like a monkey with that full facial beard) get a clue that yelling "hello?" in a room full of resting zombies didn't work when they almost got him in the church? Next time he's in a room full of dead, what's he do? That right, yells, "hello?" And he kept doing it through the whole movie. He was about the only one who deserved to die and managed not to. Oh well, it did give me a chance to get drunk by drinking a beer every time he said hello. I tried to count how many times he did, but got to drunk. I'll stick with the real zombie movies, like Dawn of the Dead.
Now THAT'S funny!!!
Oh man, what a stinker! I like B movies, but this one, I'm not sure to be impressed by how bad it is, or mad that I sat through it. The lizards looked like sock puppets for God's sake! I flip-flopped between laughing and fast forwarding. I guess anyone can make a movie with a cam corder and $10.00, throw it onto a DVD with their home computer, get some nifty packaging and manage to sneak it into the video rental system. After I watched it all I could think of was, "why did I watch that?" I can sum it up with, "It should have been titled Ab-bore-ation". I guess we could get lucky and they start MST3K back up, and there'd be a great movie for it.
I have to agree with Dr Gore on this one. The highlight would be Linnea Quigley showering and the low point would be the rest of the movie where it wasn't showing her in a shower scene. I saw this movie when I was a kid and thought it was really cool, I mean, come one, a big cheesy, rubbery alien tearin' ass, post apocalyptical wastelands, Quigley showering.......excellent! So, I saw it on ebay and bought it. I still like the Quigley showers, and the cheesy alien is still worth a laugh or two, but now I see the post apacalyptical wasteland is really a low budget dirt field with a warehouse. Ahhh, the 80s. What was everyone thinking...besides scream queen Quigley showering? Of course it had a high spot (in case you didn't catch it, Linnea Quigly showering).
A true epic
Have you ever read a book or watched amovie that you wished would never end? Well, this is like that. Even though it totals 15 hours viewing time without commercials, I didn't want it to end. Speilberg always does a fantastic job of making a movie out of a story and does that with this movie. It keeps you interested in the people as well as the aliens. An excellent combination of drama/sci fi/and spy movie. The aliens (and some of the people) are sinister and the the series is action-packed.
The Stand (1994)
Awesome movie, but something happened when released for sale......I originally video-taped the mini-series when it aired, then it was made available for sale, so I bought it and taped over the aired version I had recorded. Well, whoever the dorks were that picked it up for production left out like an hour of the movie, and didn't even do it seamlessly. Didn't anyone notice that, when you swicth tapes, all of a sudden, people are dead, new people are there and it skipped right over things they were currently doing? I even rented the DVD version as soon as it came out, and it's also messed up. Way to go, dorks.
Another Lovecraft fan speaketh
I truly liked this movie. It definitely had Yunza/Gordon written all over it. Some of the parts were even close to the original story (and we all know that doesn't happen very often). Aside from a few cheesy special effects it was a spectacular adaption that didn't leave you asking yourself, "now why was that labeled as a Lovecraft movie?"
Cool Air (1999)
Cool air is (for once) a faithful adaption of a Lovecraft short story. The camera work is great and the mood is perfect. The actor that plays the old guy is incredible! If you are a Lovecraft fan, seek out this movie and own it, I did.
Castle Freak (1995)
Not quite riveting
I had a hard time keeping awake during this movie. What is it with lovecraft movies and low budget?!? Besides how far away from the original story this deviated. Stuart Gordon should be ashamed for this one. I was expecting much more after being so entertained by the Gordon/Yunza/Combs combo of past movies like From Beyond and The Reanimator. It did have good makeup and filming, with some pretty good mood settings. If you're a Lovecraft fan, watch it. You might just like it.
The Music of Erich Zann (1980)
It wasn't bad for a ultra-low budget movie, but disappointing none-the-less. The acting was adequate, but the special effects to show the horrors seen were god-awful. I hate to bash a movie, but unless you're a die hard Lovecraft fan (and even if you are), this film may disappoint you, too. There are a few better HPL adaptions out there, but sadly fewer than there should be.