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Revenge on the Highway (1992 TV Movie)
It's no "Road Games"
5 August 2004
Stacey Keach once again takes the driver's seat of a Semi in this lame TV movie that lacks any real thrills or chills. Unlike Keach's other Semi flick "Road Games, which boasted great suspense and style, this looks and plays like your typical TV movie of the week. Add in the old overused plot of the son being run down by the baddie and the dad seeking revenge and you got a real yawner on your hands. Keach does a great acting job as always but Craig Baxley's direction is as stiff as a board (even the final truck chase is boring). And Sandahl Bergman has really lost it since "Conan", she looks absolutely terrible here! Besides Keach, the only plus side is John Leonetti's excellent cinematography which just looks fabulous. But overall, this film is a real bummer.
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Tremors (2003)
Too simplistic
2 August 2003
This franchise seems to have gotten worse with each new entry. The first movie is great, the second was just ok (but the Graboids looked like those robots from the Ninja Turtles cartoon), the 3rd film was silly, but the show is just plain dull. What really hurts it (besides cheesy effects) is that they really aren't doing much. It's the Scooby Doo scenerio: do the same thing every week. Either some baddies come to Perfection to kill or battle El Blanco or the gang is fighting off some cheesy monsters. This is beyond predictable. Unlike the much-missed "Farscape" show it replaced that made something out of nothing, this show makes nothing into garbage (ironically a writer/producer of "Farscape" works on this show, now that's sad). Another problem is that it's overly gory. There are some really nasty scenes in this one that might turn some people off of it. I don't recall the movies being this bloody. We really don't need this much carnage fellas. And just how many people live in the town of Perfection anyway? 5? Why not just get the hell out of there? Are they really that stupid to want to hang around while these bad things keep happening to them? Geez, they're dumber than the main characters of THE AMITYVILLE HORROR for crying out loud! It's also sad to think that such a great actor like Michael Gross went from "Family Ties" to this. He must really need the money badly to subject himself to this tripe. The rest of the cast of the first film knew when it was time to get outta Dodge yet poor Michael still sticks around. Somebody get him a new agent fast! Besides, if it wasn't for that really catchy theme song and that Rosalita babe there wouldn't be any reason to even bother with this show to begin with. They should subtitle this one "What A Way To Waste a Good Cast". This show is so bad it just might kill the franchise entirely. Way to screw up again Sci Fi!!! >:(
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Jason X (2001)
Wasted Potential
26 June 2003
Warning: Spoilers
*****Contians a few spoilers************

Movies like this just kill me. They're the type of films that could work but fail because not enough care and thought had gone into them. JASON X is definetely one of them. This movie just plain sucks! If your looking for a horror film then look elsewhere, because this film has no virtually horror in it whatsoever. Just a lame excuse for a sci-fi movie. This has the weakest atmosphere that I have ever seen in my life! There is no fear of dread and no suspense that the other Jason films had. Did these people even watch the other 9 movies at all or did they make this up as they went along? A better director is sorely needed here because James Isaac does a terrible job behind the camera. The actors aren't any better: Lexa Doig doesn't cut it as the heroine, Lisa Ryder is just annoying as hell as the android, Kane Hodder looks rusty behind the mask because he just doesn't have the usual magic here he once had (although Über Jason in his metallic form looks really cool), and David Cronenberg is utterly wasted in a pathetic cameo at the beginning. Even worse is that the kills are weak and watered down. Only good death scene is when Jason freezes a girl's face in liquid Nitrogen and then smashes it on the desk. Other than that he mostly breaks necks here. Even the scene where Jason repeats an old kill from a previous film by sealing a girl in her sleeping bag and wacking her against a tree is too soft! This film also sorely fails in the sci-fi/horror genre as it doesn't mix either together to good effect. See ALIEN as to how sci-fi and horror can be mixed well without sacrificing either genre. Even the film that had Pinhead in space is 100 times better than this one! Like I said, this all could have worked. But it becomes a bad joke instead. Watch the other films instead. This one is an insult to the hardcore Jason fans. The writing is on the wall, it's time for Jason to retire.
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Music Box (1989)
Good, but a tad predictable
7 March 2003
Warning: Spoilers

This was a very good film, but I did have one problem with it. When one of the witnesses testifying against Michael Laszlo on his supposed war crimes, she says he said "A healthy body brings a heathly spirit" to her many years ago. That alone proved to me that he was guilty all along (you hear him say that to his grandson earlier in the film when he is doing push-ups with him). So the "shocking" surprise at the end of the film when we find out he was guilty when his daughter Ann found the pictures that proved he had done these hideous things he's accussed of really didn't surprise me. It seemed to me that a major plot-point had been given away too early in the film and I had a feeling of what was going to happen. That said, the movie is still well acted and well directed and will get to you on an deep emotional level. Jessica lange is absolutely flawless as Ann Talbot, as is Armin Mueller-Stahl as Michael Laszlo. It also shows that you know very little about those that you truly love. It may have been ignored when it first came out back in '89, but it's a worth a rental.
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Has it's good and bad points
16 February 2003
PROS: -Lucy Liu is a babe -It has some nice action sequences and explosions -The cinematography is great -It wasn't boring -Lucy Liu kicks some major butt in this film! -It wasn't too long, so it didn't overstay it's welcome. CONS: -The story is flat -Antonio Banderas and Talisa Soto cannot act -The direction is uneven (Kaos can definetly direct action sequences, but he hasn't got a clue on the rest) -It has several plotholes and badly written lines -Lucy Liu's character is too butch (It was originally written for a male) -Lucy Liu barely says anything! She's silent for many scenes for no apparent reason. -It has an overabundance of clichès (Antonio is hit head on by a car driven by Lucy Liu yet he gets up without a scratch or any broken bones, She is thrown off of a motorbike at least 30 feet but he hits the ground like he only fell 5 feet and has no injuries, etc ...) -This cost 70 million? Where did the money go? This whole film looks like it cost 30 million total!

Overall I would rate it 5/10. By no means the worst film of the year as many have stated, but also not anywhere close to being the best. Lucy Liu deserved so much better than this. Seems like they spent more money on the explosions and action sequences than they did on the script. Director Wych Kaosayananda needs more practice on his directorial skills before he tackles another big Hollywood film like this.
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Fastlane (2002–2003)
This show sucks!!!!!
8 February 2003
Ever seen a show so bad that you just want to start slamming your head into a door just to get rid of the mere thought of it? Now you know how I feel about "Fastlane". Coming off as nothing more than a bad ripoff of "Miami Vice", and the LETHAL WEAPON movies for the Gen-X crowd, this show is plagued with problems. The acting is hammy and sometimes flat, it's littered with clichès and stereotypes, the villians are downright annoying, the editing is as bad as a music video (no wonder it also plays on MTV), the rap/hip hop soundtrack is overplayed to sheer boredom, the split-screen effect in most episodes is out of place and distracting, and the car chases are tedious and tacked on (the producers have seen THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS one too many times). Even the creator John McNamara even said he doesn't like it, that should say something! The only good and redeeming value about this crapfest is Tiffani Thiessen. Not only is she the only decent actor on this show but she actually comes off with her dignity intact. I definetely wouldn't want to p**s her off! But even she should have known better than to subject herself to this degrading tripe. Why this show is still on is beyond me. This is the type of programming that you look back in 10 years and groan at (and you thought "Automan" was embarrassing, ok so it is). Getting your teeth drilling at the dentist is less excrutiating than watching this show.

1/10 for Tiffani Thiessen only.
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Plague (1979)
Quite possibly the worst film I have ever seen
26 December 2002
And I mean it too. I saw this film late at night on the Sci Fi Channel a few years back and I despised it. It is filled with clichès and a really thin excuse for a plotline that will just bore the most timid viewer. Basically it is about some stupid female scientist who tampers with some highly toxic bacteria that she shouldn't have been anywhere near in the first place and she unleashes a deadly virus to the public, a virus that is spread whenever someone touches anything that has been contaminated. This film also suffers from a veeery low budget, since it has the victims writhing and shaking like they're having seizures when it's their time to kick the bucket. This film was so cheap that it couldn't even afford any special effects!!!! The music heard throughout is suitably creepy, but becomes predictable as hell whenever it plays before someone dies. This film just introduces a bunch of people that have no coherence to the story whatsoever just so they could be bumped off! Any young upstart fresh out of high school could have written a better story than what this pathetic film has. Your better off watching OUTBREAK instead. 1/10.
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