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1/10
Ten buck budget...
12 December 2018
...produced a two buck movie and that just about sums up this atrocious excuse for a horror movie.The acting was absolutely abysmal from everyone,which in turn tells you how bad the director is,or,how little they cared.I could go on further but really,there is no point,the entire movie sucks in every way,shape and form from beginning to end.
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Lurking Woods (2015)
2/10
Avoid this stinker
12 December 2018
I've watched probably a thousand movies in this genre in my lifetime,some awesome,some good,some bad and some real stinkers,Lurking Woods is the definition of stinker,everything about it stinks,script,cinematography,directing and the OMG this is so bad acting,in fact,I've seen dried up porn stars act better than this lot.One reviewer tells you not to believe the low rating,I,m guessing they havn't seen many movies in this category otherwise they would know that this movie is rating much,much higher on IMDB than it deserves.I'm just embarrassed to call myself an Aussie when rubbish like this is put out there for all to see.
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7/10
Enjoyable Indonesian Horror
8 December 2018
A little was lost on my inability to understand Indonesian but the subtitles were well done and I enjoyed the story.I was impressed by the acting from the young cast and enjoyed the effects and makeup,it's little wonder that western horror is heavily mimicking eastern horror these days particularly in the possession genre.There were moments where I thought that the actions of the characters were really stupid,but,if they were always smart we wouldn't have a horror movie would we.All said and done,it is a fun movie that surprises and is definitely worth a watch.
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Truth or Dare (II) (2013)
2/10
From a sick and very twisted mind
24 November 2018
No matter how bad a movie is I always make it a habit to finish it,in this case I wish I had never started it,the warped and twisted acts perpetrated in this movie can only come from a warped and twisted mind and it makes me wonder about the the thinking of those reviewers who rave about how much fun it is.Make no mistake,this is NOT horror,it is a slasher,there is a big difference,it is a cruel and particularly nasty type of slasher that would have me locking up the writer in a padded cell for eternity if I had the power,what really surprised me though is that the director is a female and agreed to direct a movie that has the female actors carry out the acts they did.Give this one a very big miss if you have any humanity in you.
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Frenzy (2018 TV Movie)
5/10
Not as bad as most of these reviewers would have you believe
28 September 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Being a lover of syfy's terribly corny and appallingly bad movies I have to say that 'Frenzy' is one of their better offerings,some of the shark underwater footage is pretty awesome,the CGI moments are,as expected in a syfy offering,terrible.Scenery shots are pretty special and worth seeing.Acting from the two main characters isn't Oscar worthy but it is good,the other characters were not integral to the story so I didn't care,in fact ,had they cut the annoying flashbacks I wouldn't have noticed any of them. There were some REALLY annoying stupid moments,the scene with Lindsey (Aubrey Reynolds),throwing the rope,being particularly stupid considering the amount of rope she actually had,that scene was my biggest 'OH C'MON,ARE YOU SERIOUS!'moment.As for Aubrey Reynolds swimming ability,will someone PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE,teach that girl to swim before she does another water based movie! All up though it was a fairly entertaining movie,enough for me to give it a second watch in the future.
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1/10
Timeline
8 August 2018
One minute in I knew I had made a bad choice,three minutes in I knew that I was getting failed dirty movie actors who can't act and ten minutes in I could no longer stand the disgustingly bad acting,awful camera work and a hideously bad script.Save yourself the effort,this is not worth even a glance.
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1/10
Prepare for a complete bore fest.
5 April 2018
Appalling acting with actors who are devoid of any chemistry together,a script that is so bad that it has a bunch of actors sitting around just yapping at each other,dull filmography that fails to take in a beautiful area,disgustingly bad cgi ghoulie,you have "Beyond the Woods" in a nutshell.It is so bad they had someone involved with the film post no less than five fake reviews and ratings a month apart.seriously it's so bad I can't be bothered with this review anymore,just don't subject yourself to this tripe.
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1/10
All time low
24 March 2018
I have seen an awful lot of horror movies,good ones,bad ones,great ones and vile,disgusting ones,but this is by far the worst I have ever seen,not because it was anything of the vile,disgusting,or just plain bad ones,but everything about it was just atrocious,the camera work full of double exposure,the constant overuse of thick smoke,terrible lighting and what can only be described as truly atrocious acting beyond compare to anything I have ever seen in anything I have ever watched, by every person on the screen.Never,ever let this complete trash darken your life.
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The Lodgers (2017)
9/10
Outstanding slow burn
16 March 2018
It needs to be said that this is Ghost Story,not a horror or a slasher or any other genre,so if what you want is non stop action,blood and gore with a bit of T&A thrown in your're going to be disappointed,what you will get is a wonderful slow burn ghost story that will enthrall and delight you in many ways.The acting is wonderful with a natural flow that gets you invested in the main characters,particularly the main character of Rachel,played by the beautiful Charlotte Vega.The cinemaphotography is stunningly beautiful and eerily spectactular,and the musical score hauntingly beautiful.I honestly didn't think I would like this movie but it quickly captured me and held me until the very end.
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Run, Hide, Die (IV) (2012)
1/10
Boring,bad and annoying
10 January 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Just an all round bad movie,for the first hour pretty much nothing happens but a way too long conversation concerning poo,that is followed up by 25 minutes of wailing ,whining tied up girls being tortured by a drunken,decrepit old granny who could have been easily overwhelmed by 5 young girls even tied up if they had put some thought into it instead of spending all their time sqealling so loud you couldn't understand the dialogue.All this is then followed up with escape,run,bash crazy granny but run away so crazy granny can get up again and recapture you and a very dull and badly done 15 minute kill spree yada yada yada.Now,I don't mind a predictable movie,hell,most movies are,but this was so predictable right to the very end scene,and so horribly filmed and acted that I actually put it through my shredder so I could never lay eyes on it again.
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Blood Scarab (2008 Video)
5/10
Terrible,but good terrible
9 January 2018
Fun little movie with 2 of the main ingredients for a horror,death and nudity.The acting is horrible,but I think deliberately so,the effects are horrible,again I think deliberately so.Most of the girls are kinda cute and Monique Parent as Elizebeth ,is deliciously funny and evil and beautifully naked in all her glory.If you have a spare hour or so and don't want to think too much or do much else but sit and have a giggle then this is a movie for you,if you are looking for belly laughs,then it isn't.A solid 5.
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7/10
Hilarious,silly fun
5 January 2018
I'm disappointed I didn't find this little gem of a comedy/horror before 2017,but,in my defence I do live in Australia and movies can sometimes take a while before they are released here or they can never be released on the aussie market,but find it I did and I had a ball watching it.The CGI is deliberatley poor and as such it suits this offering well and adds to the laughs.The camera work is well done but the true joy of this movie is the comedic acting,never over acted and a joy to watch.Jordan Prentice is simply wonderful as the little person sherrif and with Benz Antoine as his straightman deputy the combo really works well,in fact the entire cast work well together as a whole.but for me the highlight is Kim Poirier,who is wonderfully funny with a great laugh,beautiful,and seen in all her natural glory,that alone was worth watching.I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and would easily recommend it to any comedy/horror fan,definately a watch again and again movie.
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2/10
Bad fish,bad acting and very bad movie
5 January 2018
It's been a while since anyone reviewed this offering,I can understand that,it's hardly worth the effort,but here goes.Swarm of the Snakehead starts out bad and just gets worse,it's meant to be a comedy/horror I guess,but it's so bad in every way that it's just a mess.The actors over do the bad acting to the point that there is nothing funny about it,in fact,it's so bad it just gets gets more annoying as it goes on,the camera work is amongst the worst I've ever seen and the FX is just so bad I could rant about it for hours,but I won't,you'll have to see it for yourself to believe how bad they are.The best part of this movie is the hot mayor played by Lisa Burdette.If you still decide to watch this after my review then you have only yourself to blame.
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Bloody Snow (2016)
1/10
Awful beyond comprehension
3 January 2018
Horrendously bad movie from beginning to end,with the filming I'm sure was done on a hand held handycam in terrible light without the use of filters.The acting from the cast is so bad I would rather watch reruns of H.R.Puffenstuff,and really wish I had.The plot was weak and had absolutely no development,same goes for the characters.What little FX there were are amatuerish and just plain sad to see.Isabelle Shahira in the fortunatly brief shower is looking an absolute wreck in every way,shape and form.The character of Sarah (Monique Giselle) is the only highlight of this movie and that is only because she displays her cuteness in a nice way at the end,certainly not for her acting ability.IMDB really need to offer a minus rating system for movies like this.Do yourself a favour and stay well away from this one.
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Eat Locals (2017)
8/10
Vamyrific fun
30 December 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I really enjoyed this twist from the usual vampyre tales and lets face it,if your looking for comedy horror with a twist,that isn't the same old, same old hollywood trash,you can trust the british to come up with the goods every single time.This offering involves a bunch of vampyre's trapped in a farmhouse in the country side,surrounded by no less than the British army led by a crooked Brigadier,and their fight to escape.Empathy is definatly aimed at the vampyre's here and they successfully gain it from me.The acting is excellent,as would be expected from such a renowned British cast,particular standouts for me were Billy Cook (Sebastion),Tony Curran (as the delightfully evil Peter Boniface) and Annette Crosbie (Alice) as the not so sweet old lady vampyre.The camera work was excellent throughout the film.If you love vamps ,blood and fun then this is definatly a movie to watch more than once.
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BnB HELL (2017)
1/10
nothing really happens...
29 December 2017
This has to take the prize for the dullest offering of 2017,honestly,besides the predictable obvious, absolutely nothing happens ,not even a half decent jump scare.Kimberly Woods (Willa),goes to a bnb in search of her twin sister who has disappeared,problem is,she doesn't really do any looking,she spends all her time wandering around taking photo's of tourist spots,doing yoga and messing with another guest of the bnb who is as boring as she is. The last 10 minutes or so is a bit faster paced but not much and it's all over as quickly as it started.Give this one a big miss unless you need a reason to snooze.
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Slumber (I) (2017)
8/10
Thought provoking
28 December 2017
As a sleep paralysis sufferer this was an interesting and thought provoking movie for me from a historical point of view.One reviewer stated that they couldn't get past the first minute of the movie,well,their loss,and why are you writing a review of a movie you never watched,pointless and a little narcissistic. The acting could at times be a little over the top but overall was good and didn't detract from the movie at all,special effects were basic but well done basic,proving not everything has to have a big bang to draw the audience in and creep them out.The ending was good and wasn't something I was expecting but came as no surprise.I have no qualms in recommending this movie to anyone who doesn't mind a horror movie that isn't dripping in blood and slashed up naked women.A solid 8 out of 10 from me.
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9/10
Thoroughly enjoyable
27 December 2017
Like the other reviewer I too thought at the beginning that I was in for a low budget,badly acted trash movie,so I was very surprised when I got an action packed,bloody good movie.The acting was excellent all round and the effects and cinematography were top notch.I found it both funny and sad and a couple of events in it just made me intensely angry,If a movie can draw those emotions from you,then I think,for me,it's a success.Whitney Nielsen (Katherine) was so convincing in her character and so beautiful I guess I fell a little bit in love with her,another sign of a good movie.Cole Gleason (Andy),is so delightfully evil I wanted to jump in and kill him myself AND D.J. Hale (Eddie) was just hilarious.This is a must see for anyone who loves a good comedy/horror.
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Devil's Night (2017)
1/10
This stinker gets a minus 10
27 December 2017
This one gets my award for THE worst movie of 2017 in every category,script,cinematography,special FX,acting and plot,I deserve a bravery award for just managing to watch it until the end credits,which,by the way is the best part of the entire thing.It is honestly so bad I can't describe it and I've been watching horror for 45 years and seen some awful movies.Avoid this one at any cost!
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Stickman (2017 TV Movie)
6/10
Not bad at all for a SYFY
25 December 2017
I honestly enjoyed this movie,which is saying a lot when SYFY movies (and Canadian),are usually so bad.The acting was excellent and convincing,special effects were way above SYFY standard effects,as was the cinematography. Yes the story line was cliche'd as was the ending,but lets face it,you didn't watch it thinking this was going to be a masterpiece.I'm not going to sit here and over analylise it as one reviewer has,it's not that sort of movie,seriously dude,get a life.Take this movie for what it is,a pretty good horror movie worth a watch,enjoy.
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6/10
Not too shabby
24 December 2017
The only other reviewer who calls himself a horror fan, at the time of my writing this rated it low,but at the same time rated one of the worst horror movies of 2017 a 9 out of ten,nuff said for that reviewer.There is some not so good acting in this offering,mainly from the priest and the doctor,but over all it isn't too bad,and the acting from the the two main female characters is fairly good.The storyline suffers from a little slowness now and again but for me this sometimes added to the tension.The story is tried and true possession but if you don't mind that,then this is a not too shabby movie for an evening in,not great by any means,but it could be worse,and I've seen plenty that are.
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1/10
Save yourself
23 December 2017
I don't want to write a review,this offering really isn't worth it,but I'm compelled to warn people.This one is a real stinker from beginning to end.There is no character development and not a single likeable character in the movie,in fact I detested them all so much I was rooting for the zombies,the acting was just plain atrocious with the zombies being the best actors,cinematogrophy was very low grade and when effects are better in a syfy channel movie than they are in this offering you know you are in a bad place.Be afraid,very afraid,that someone will make you watch this trash.
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8/10
Wonderfully weird British sense of gory fun
23 December 2017
A great little movie that will leave you in a good mood after watching it.The CGI bunnies were cutely bad and deliberately so,the acting was hilariously over the top British and there is plenty of what we Aussies and Brits love,babes,boobs,bums,blood and laughter.Not really anything else I can ,or want to add except,watch it,you won't regret it.
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Better Watch Out (II) (2016)
8/10
Wondefully different
16 December 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I thoroughly enjoyed 'You Better Watch Out',though more of a thriller than a comedy horror it is well worth a watch,There were a couple of times it had me laugh but what I enjoyed the most was the sudden twist in the plot that comes early in the movie and makes you go WTF. The script was reasonably tight and the acting from the three main characters,(all Australian actors),was extremely good,Ashley (Olivia DeJonge ) is a great actress and very easy on the eye to look at,Luke (Levi Miller),did a very convincing job as the little psycho ratbag as did Garret (Ed Oxenbould ) who played the part of the easily manipulated best friend.I will definatly give this movie a second viewing and give it a solid 8.
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Killbillies (2015)
7/10
Better than expected.
15 December 2017
Warning: Spoilers
To be honest,when I read the title I expected your usual fare of hideous hillbillies chasing and killing topless hot girls who are too stupid to live anyway,what I got was indeed hideous hillbillies,but not your average stupid girl heroine. Zina (Nina Ivanisin) is awesome as our victim,no pussy footing around with this girl,no female victim tripping over nothing in the woods and no running away when she gets an advantage over the hillbillies,Zina kills em and kills em dead in gloriously vicious ways. The cinematography is glorious,with sweeping views of mountain terrain and forest that just leave you breathless with it's beauty and makes you want to go there.Nothing annoyed me about this fare from Slovenia and I will no doubt give it a second viewing in the future and I highly recommend it to any horror lover.Seven stars from me.
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