gregsie74 Reviews

Ip Man 2 (2010)

Pure Chinese Pride

[9/10 · 17 May 2010]

Pure Chinese Pride.

Thats it. A lot of comments have talked about rehashing Rocky, segments of scenes rather than a complete flowing script. The cartoony villains. The lack of an original story 'worthy of Ip Man'. Whatever thats supposed to mean.

The only people who really get this film are those who 'get' the Patriotic spirit behind this film. I've been reading a book recently, which i wont mention that talks about Chinese culture and how the Chinese have been treated in the past and how they treated themselves and now I've seen Ip Man 2....I understand Chinese culture more and I can appreciate every artistic decision made to make this film.

This film really, in my mind, a step forward for the HK and China collaborations. Culturally, China right now is looking to the west to learn and adopt its 'isms' and then here comes Donnie Yen ( American raised Chinese) gracing the big screen with his larger than life persona as Ip Man telling the audience that we should respect each other and that one mans integrity is not better than another's.

I can understand the cynics amongst us who see this as a repeat of the Stallone thing. but using this method , in this context, with the symbolism of a fight between a Chinese and Western fighter as representing the clash between East and West cultures speaks volumes. And this is the whole point of the film. Integration of East and West. And thats why the appearance of a young Bruce Lee at the end shows this.

A lot of people are saying the last 3rd is where the film is let down. To me this was the best part of the film, nothing to do with action, but with thematic purpose. If anything, the first section, that shows Ip Man railing from being shot in the first film ( Japanese takeover) and forced to start humble beginnings again, should have introduced the British threat at the beginning. Subtly.

The fight between schools of Ip Man and Sammo Hungs character are , nice, but seen before. And yes the tabletop scene was quite cool ,but as someone has already stated, a bit unbelievable. What WOULD have solidified this would be some kind of 'western threat' in the background. I know the director , Wilson Ip decided not to focus on the major historical elements of Ip Man, and is probably something that Wong Kar Wai will focus on,with his version of Ip Man, but still even an early threat of British Culture, or even Chinese Rich kids adopting British Culture, entering, a night club where the Brits have occupied some spot and don't allow Chinese in, or something...thematic, would've added to this film and made into a great story plot point. And maybe the fight between Ip Man and Samo Hung's character would be money- based- ie at first the fight between Schools is to do with pride but in reality, Sammo is threatened by the English officer for not collecting enough money and when Ip Man refuses to pay, Samo has to report to the officer a lack of payment and because of this, has to save face by fighting the English Officer's challenger. These small details would've created more of a 'through- line' in the script, making the ending even more rewarding.

So to sum up. Cinephiles wont like this because they're already spoilt for choice. Ip Man purists wont like this because they want something more historical ( even though history is used as a reference point and not a retelling) but those who understand Chinese culture and know what the Chinese have been through will love this film. And as this film is aimed at a Chinese market of say 1.3 billion people or so, id say this film is an undoubted success at promoting integrity of spirit at a time when Chinese society is going through challenging times ( witness the Chinese Man who killed 8 schoolchildren recently - March 2010), this film offers some great escapism. And in my mind, THAT is a commercial success. The Ip Man team should be proud of their work.

PS: Any mainlanders reading this review and nodding their heads in pride, should also take note:Demanding 'Avatar' in your cinemas is not a recipe for a step forward in Chinese culture. Borrowing Hollywood elements and making your it own IS.

Bodyguards and Assassins (2009)

Okay, I had a feeling at the beginning..and after watching..

[10 May 2010]

...i was right. Big blockbuster aimed at mainland Chinese audience. lots of nationalism and lots of stars emoting. but somehow it didn't work. yes i have read a lot of reviews on IMDb and was intrigued to find out what people thought and i agree with one guy who said that that there's great build up but the ending was just over the top action. i mean the acting at some points is really great. the main guy is really good and holds the film together;Nicolas ste does quite a touching turn in his role, and Donnie yen plays a loser in it , quite convincingly. but it just all seemed to be manipulation for the final climax...cue sun yut sen hidden from view with his white hat.

OK so I've also read reviews that this has great nationalistic appeal because of the legend of sun yut sen but unfortunately for me, I'm not too keen on manipulation , whether its nationalist or not. and although i liked parts of the drama in the first half,although it did get a bit meandering after a while as i wasn't sure who to focus on, when it comes to the action bit. i had to pause it. i mean the tone totally changed. from drama with some decent acting in it ( as if it were Wong kar wai) to b movie with the big giant in it. i should have guessed what the giant was in it for but basically its the token lovable giant character thats a throw back to goonies and its just a bit cheesy. in fact the whole action set up of protecting this dude with the white hat. i mean there's no explanation. he doesn't talk, hes just a dude in a white hat. yes to mainlanders hes sun yut sen but from a normal film-goer hes a dude in a white hat that lots of people run through fruit markets ready to take a shed-load of arrows as they run through street-crowds. it just didn't make any sense.the action just suddenly appeared and all the build up ( not that the build up was all that engaging ) as i think there were too many characters and not enough interest. the Leon lai character was a complete EH character. i mean what the hell, he just slept on the floor throughout the film and took a bath, and then as I'm about to see , take on an army of men. i mean EH? makes no sense. Chinese action filmmakers seem to love their slow motion and emoting but there's no real trust of the script. which is quite well written at times . finally there's Donnie yen. well we cant have a Donnie yen film without Donnie kicking ass can we? the problem is that he suddenly moves from being unshaven drunk to bad-ass Donnie yen in the blink of an eye and his character just vanishes because...well...no one messes with Donnie yen. .the fight between him and cung le was just b movie action, wasn't sure the importance of cung le but it just interrupted the flow of the main film. the ending between him and cung le was just manipulative and like the whole film didn't have any real personal drama but just played on symbolism and i haven't gotten to the bit where he punches a horse in the face but anyway you get the idea towards the very end the melodrama was touching. between the father and son and actually this scene with tony leung trying to aim his gun was quite good too, suddenly the film regained its Oscar worthy status.but because of everything thing beforehand: Leon lai fighting, Donnie yen horse-punching, all trying to get in the way of a dumb assassin. the stupidity of the film let it down. and the close up of sun yut sen was a bit heavy handed. like i said if it wasn't playing on the nationalism of the Chinese,id say he looked uncannily like a woman with a mustache. from the very start despite the posters and big announcements and premature nationalist back-patting hype i wasn't expecting a lot from this film, like i said i had the idea it'd be an odd mix of drama, action and that it lasted 3hrs( hence my reluctance to watch it for a while)and as the cast weren't really 'actors' but more 'characters' and yet this was a story that required 'actors' and less action. i mean Simon lam, probably the best hope of an actor in the film, dies too early with a pointless character, tony leung hides behind his glasses doing nothing except looking scared. the only real actor is the main guy who has dignity and grace. and his son wasn't too bad of an actor either , but the others. played character parts. and to be frank, needed better actors with better stories, or just cut out of the script completely. OK I've rambled long enough. too many characters. too pointless stories.action seemed OK but didn't mix with the drama which in turn didn't really have any interesting turns. manipulative melodrama. bit boring at times.you get the idea.cung le vs yen? not as interesting as yen vs horse.I'm afraid. i like Eric stang with mustache tho. he looks like Mr creosote in the meaning of life.'another wafer monsieur?'Not the best way to review this example of 10yrs of Peter Chan's hard work in getting this to the screen but hey, it won loads of awards and made lots of money so who cares , right?

Astro Boy (2009)

Jesus Subtext - and all the better for it

[27 February 2010]

And when I say subtext, Im talking classic Died and Rose again stuff. Check out ET. Superman, Robocop. All the classics. Yep you know what I'm on about. Its here too folks. Whether religion you are. And all the better for it.

But actually the moment doesn't happen until right at the end, when Astroboy sacrifices himself. Dies then rises again. Then destroys the Anti Christ. Listen. Its late, I'm in no mood to write a review that asks for plot details but instead I'm gonna tell you about the bit that moved me - the ending . i cant explain it, but basically watch the film, and you will know what I mean.

Its the same as City of Ember , watch that one too. Christ is alive people. He is in your Hollywood blockbuster. He is in your popcorn. He is all around. Yes its late, but this film moved me to tears. Good thing all the parents left with their children immediately as it would've been embarrassing. But yes, marketed poorly, who cares. everyone downloads films anyway. and no one makes any money. Either way, make sure you see this classic. And pay attention if you want to be spiritually uplifted. You will not be let down. Peace Out.

Tony (I) (2009)

Beware of who you overlook

[22 February 2010]

This is a fantastic film. Well shot, well written, well edited, well acted,effective soundtrack...and short enough to leave you wanting more.

I cant say enough good about this film, as its one of those films that is so good that it takes on a life of its own. As all great art, this is not a 'horror film' but a sociological reflection of our times.

The story introduces us to a lonely man who lives by himself and tries to form relationships with the vagrants and oddball characters but due to his inability to communicate properly, which we read into as shyness, years of repression, denial he ends up killing them.

Humour is used as a temporary escape valve from the horror we see, and actually, the comedy is a real highlight of this dark piece, as we are challenged to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. This is nothing new, but it added to the humanity of the piece.

To be honest, there are a few things that I have to criticize for this piece but these more loving embellishments than anything else. For example, the film could be longer as we are left hanging at the end and wanting more.without giving the game away, if tony had succeeded in his goals, and then given due punishment, it would have created the next layer of depth that the film is surely deserving.Also small symbolic indicators, without being too blatant would have added to revealing his past, that even if the film chose not to express, could add clues hinting at the person that Tony once was.Also could have done some scenes of him eating alone.

However with respect to the directors artistic choices, I believe leaving certain issues unresolved allows the viewer to imagine and ponder more about an epidemic that wont go away, provoking deeper contemplation. So in this respect, it is an intelligent artistic decision which is in hindsight, to be respected.

Like i said, great films are the ones that have a life of their own, not dictated by comparisons although comparisons are necessary to explain them, once you see the film, it goes far beyond that. this is a character study of a creature in pain. A product of its environment and even a sociological reflection of the dysfunction of its environment. As all good art does, makes us reflect and think in the here and now. And what we as people, society , generation, have become. Definitive stuff.

Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

I enjoyed this. And i hate shopping.

[29 December 2009]

Saw this last night and I thought it was great. Acting was good from everyone.

The English guy in it was a bit...twee, but Isla Fisher was good in it.To be honest at the beginning I thought she was going to annoy the crap out of me, but slowly i can see her point of view, and in a lot of ways have some empathy towards her;.. I can see how it was made for its target audience ( not me) but basically as one reviewer says , its a film about overcoming addiction, and actually doesn't encourage debt at all - it shows how someone deals with it.

Also it dealt with the psychology of women and their obsession with clothing shopping quite well. ( im not a woman either).

So. overall I thought it was well directed, edited, acted, and delivered exactly what it was meant to, with a nice feel good story as its structure and lots of amusing twists and plants along the way - the funniest bit was when ( spoiler:) Smeeth was revealed to be her boyfriend.

Anyway, girls will like this, guys will like this, this is the kind of film that Hollywood should keep making -big budget feelgood comedies, less of the action rubbish. this is quite a well crafted piece. pass the matzo, please.

Bodyguard: A New Beginning (2008)

Cheesy, but enjoyable.

[24 November 2009]

I'm a bit fan of H.K. flicks so i was glad to finally catch this one...

This action film starts off both cheesy and British...two bad guys pass a photo to each other of a girl comically not knowing who she is, nice well shot scenery of Hong Kong and London. and a main star who doesn't talk much in fact he doesn't speak English. lots of scenes that don't make any sense- a guy raping a girl then smelling his fingers after-wards as if he just wiped his hand on his bum.

Finally Richard Ng as the bad guy...he did a decent job.

It's great cheesy entertainment from start to finish and has a chef that sounds like Johnny Vegas... The dialog has no subtext - witness two hoodlums asking Johnny the chef: 'I need to know where this girl is' ...then beating him up before hes even had the chance to answer...so far so cheese..a girl who finds out the bodyguard speaks English several scenes into the movie..Karl Ng and Kari Tanagowa are in a scene wearing the same clothes drinking wine....then much later...appear with the same clothes again- drinking the same glass of wine....

Lots of British martial arts war-cry and wisps of trouser-legs flying martial arts as too many blokes in suits standing around doing the cool gangster pose look. It's bizarre. Almost like lots of set-pieces stuck together in no particular order.

A bit like this review. Comical use of jump cuts - bodyguard sitting on edge of bed asking what girl wants, hes here to protect her, girl kisses him from the left, suddenly cut to bodyguard under sheets in bed on the left, girl on top - jarring and funny.Then immediately after-wards, after sleeping with her tells her 'it was a mistake..' h'm...

It improves a little when Kari's men are assassinated,and has some kind of godfather vibe to it with the gangs getting revenge on each other... then there's a bit where the British northern accents shine through as a northern hit-man who looks like Will Ferrell gets strangled by Kari where his daughter is killed which was quite dramatic and well done.

Until we get to the scene where Richard Ng admits the girl he kidnapped was his fault. brilliantly cheesy..mind you the scenes are quite well put together and i have to say i wasn't bored throughout it, as it flows quite nicely after the 70minute mark, and actually i have to say quite gripping towards the end.

Y'know what - it's pretty decent and some nice shots. On the whole, the action is a bit artificially shot, but the director has some promise, with nicely edits shots of people fighting amidst soft emotional scenes of an old man passing away...but less cheese please next time. Good effort though. 6/10 .

Fatal Contact (2006)

Deeply tragic and affectingly sad - For best results,watch with girlfriend.

[10/10 · 23 January 2008]

Who suffers more - knowingly manipulative girl or over-naive guy who has fallen in love with her ?That's a question worth asking when you watch this film and see the film's ending. no that wasn't a spoiler. It was a teaser.

And if you've fallen for the movies marketing firstly let me tell you despite its martial arts,FATAL CONTACT/HAK-KUEN is in fact a DRAMA-ACTION-LOVESTORY. despite it's hero falling in love with the girl and taught by kung fu teacher,karate kid - like story.

if you're about to purchase the dragon dynasty DVD, don't fall for the dumb cover where someone rightly asked 'why does Wu Jing look like Sammo hung'. if you're aping for mind-blowing action, you're in for a treat but here the action serves the story and its moral issues. It takes a moral mind to appreciate the message in this film and a cold heart not to be torn by its sadness.

Wu jing,providing the action plays Kong , a Peking opera performer who is chosen by an underground fight boss who is looking for new fighters.Miki yeung plays his deceptive girlfriend, providing the films drama, Ronald Cheng provides light-relief comedy but which also provides a moving story and all the characters have their motivations explained throughout. I'll let you read the other reviews that gush about how Wu jing is the new jet Li etc etc but what I'm addressing here is the film, and everyone is in fine acting form here. Wu Jing is particularly convincing in his role as naive fighter who goes nuts in the ring but would do anything for his love and the rest are equally competent. cinematography great, directing spot on.

HOWEVER Ignore the fact that you are a watching an action film and watch it because you want to be moved by a beautiful story of tragic love. And the moral message about materialism? Well, this is a bold statement for a HK film to make considering its ratrace mentality and its so beautifully executed.

Wu Jing deserves stardom after this film and hopefully will choose more scripts like this rather than flimsy INFERNAL AFFAIRS wannabe-crap like SHA PO LANG or BOYBAND vehicles like INVISIBLE TARGET because he has achieved something that all the other kung fu stars haven't achieved, hes proved to take lead role in an EMOTIONALLY MOVING story. Not even Bruce Lee managed that one, except through his death, never mind Jackie and the others,well maybe in HEART OF THE DRAGON...And the final shot of the film where the two are talking,at first was cheesy but after watching second time,it was perfect.My fave film of 2007 by a long shot.

Fist of Fury 1991 (1991)

not bad but not memorable

[5/10 · 10 December 2005]

funnily enough for those Stephen chow fans, the best impersonation he ever did of Bruce was the one in ALL FOR THE WINNER where he punches a bloke in slow motion ( similar to fist of fury) and a towel falls on his head ( its the best visual gag of the lot). another one was in KING OF COMEDY where he is staging a fist of fury play and a girl comes to watch and applaud, taps his back to congratulate him on setting the play up, and he grabs her and throws her against the wall.

So having seen these previous Bruce Lee gags in his other films, in FIST OF FURY 91 I was looking to something a bit special.

Boy was I let down. I'm not sure whether its because this is one of his earlier films and his sense of comedy wasn't refined yet, and whether he tried to make up for this later by doing the above Bruce gags in the above later films ( eventually resulting in paying a serious homage to him in KUNG FU HUSTLE and its upcoming sequel)but in FIST OF FURY 91 this Bruce lee wannabe remake is a bit weak. actually hoping for something a bit better, there's not much i can remember from this film. the boxing match scene at the end is quite entertaining - the way the boxers bounce up from the ring like characters in a capcom video game are funny.

no i was looking forward to some real funny imitations of Bruce lee scenes but unfortunately this one decided to have an original plot and a pretty crap one at that.

all in all if you like Stephen chow, try ALL FOR THE WINNER, KING OF COMEDY, GOD OF COOKERY and of course SHAOLIN SOCCER.if you wanna see commercial big budget chow, watch KUNG FU HUSTLE,right now FIGHT BACK TO SCHOOL is playing so ill let you know how that works out.

Green Street Hooligans (2005)

Gosh how bloody WONDERFUL!

[1/10 · 10 September 2005]

WHAT AN authentic film! Being a part time football hooligan myself i marveled at the wonderful brutality of fellow hooligans beating crap out of each other to the sound-track of Kasabian! Fantastic! Kids and anyone 18 and over - if you can get to watch this film do so immediately! Never mind that this film was made largely because Elijah Wood wanted to buy a tougher image (due to the HUGE SUCCESS of this film i hear he's up for the Fantastic Four sequel as the Thing !) but hopefully by the end of this movie you will come out with some fantastic new broken glass wounds and English swearwords back to a nice hot cup of cocoa telling mummy how wonderful this film was before she tucks you in where you can dream about being a nob.

I love this film! And now I'm back from the office i do believe its time to pontificate some heavy violence and nonalcoholic beer-drinking

here's to a continuing fantastic box office year at the cinema!

cheers Darling!

Shaolin Soccer (2001)

Wacky underdog tale with a big heart

[8/10 · 28 August 2005]

SHAOLIN SOCCER has a simple plot:

An out of work-Shaolin monk, forced to survive by performing clown-tricks for the general public in the streets for pennies, wants to promote Shaolin Kung Fu to a modernized Chinese society that has lost all interest in its heritage. He discovers the best way is through Soccer. Or Football, depending on where you are from. And in the process, assembles a team of fellow monks to play football...and comedic madness ensues.

Simple plot, which basically provides it's comedy-action star, Stephen Chow, of widely promoted film of 2004/5 KUNG FU HUSTLE, a chance to shine.

Funny beyond belief, slapstick, stupid, crazy, and all the adjectives they used to promote KUNG FU HUSTLE, but there's one difference with this one...

In an age of cruel gross-out nastiness and sneering intellectual mockery I'm proud to admit, having a big heart with a great sense of fun was SHAOLIN SOCCERS main factor that clinched it for me.

The film's silly nature, and out and out ridiculous slapstick made me want to cheer for this misfit team of monk footballers to succeed against the odds...while the nutty special FX of a soccer-ball transforming into a raging lion , ripping turf before it blows the crap out of a goalie sky-high is more than enough to keep you action freaks at bay.

All in all , if you want to get introduced to the work of a great cinema comic artist/director, you can do a lot worse than watch this. But if you actually agree with me that:

Slapstick is generally stupid and unwatchable/ Cantonese humor is too in-your-face/You aren't mature enough to handle English Language Subtitles/ You are a cold-hearted sonuva-----

then move along, nothing to see here...

In the meantime, everyone else...ENJOY

PS: get the import VCD or a subtitled version.

Red Trousers: The Life of the Hong Kong Stuntmen (2003)

Robin's Mullet steals the show

[6/10 · 16 August 2005]

Well, I've seen a lot of reviews on here giving it 10 out of 10 but they seem like duds in order to get people to buy the DVD...which i just bought and watched..so heres my sch-nickel Mikkel...

Bad points - the short film'lost time' - the cheese just oozes of this mutha and boy does it grate...on and on.

Written, directed and sprinkled with cheese by Robin Shou, I'm sorry but this mutha with its mortal combat techno-music droning away in the background and its cheese-laden dialog,needs EXCISING from the main documentary and is just an excuse for a toilet break - that is until you realize you've run out of toilet.

'embarrassing' and 'unnecessary' are two words that id use if i were having lunch with him right now.

Secondly, there's not much point to this Doc except to say, Hong Kong stunt-men would die for their art. Which is a great thing to say, except that it kinda drags like an extended outtakes from a Jackie Chan flick.

Shou as a personality, is a nice enough guy but lacks charisma as an actor which is a shame seeing as we have to watch him act his way out of a paper-bag in 'lost time'

O.K... 'nuff bitching - now the good stuff. Interviews with Sammo Hung rag on about pussy Hollywood stunt-men ...heart tingling moments where graduating kids from Beijing opera school cry over an unknown future in an ever-commercialised China....tough-nut Chinese stuntmen breaking their necks for a living , then not paid enough for the bus ride home...All in all...THAT'S DEDICATION.

I think if this Doc cut out the cheesy segment of 'Lost A-HOLE' and combined itself with 'Jackie Chan my stunts' - showing how Hong Kong stunts are done - i would have given this beast 8 out of friggin 10.

On the whole, thumbs up for showing how tough Chinese MEN really are ( Hollywood pussies bring it on ) and their dedication to their art.

Finally id give a 10 out of 10 to Robin Shou's mullet - in fact, last thing I heard is that Madonna is planning a remake of Shanghai surprise with Robin's mullet as her co-star.Ah the beauty of Hollywood rumours.

Wedding Crashers (2005)

'We're getting a nice preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner over here.'

[7/10 · 13 August 2005]

was having a really crap birthday and i thought id end it on a crap note by seeing this film. I read poor reviews about the first third being good and the rest being cheesy etc-etc. so my hopes weren't high.

However,although i hope they don't milk this idea and make a franchise out of it, like the typical clichéd Hollywood bean-counting machine that it is , i might rent this when its on DVD. its that good.

Vince with his p*ssed off frustration, and Owen' calm gentle intelligent reasoning make a great team. even Walken paled in comparison to these two. hey it was for the paycheck, but he's one of the few Hollywood icons i can say has actually earnt it. but these two...they just totally stole the show and if they ad-libbed stuff it worked really well.

the girl - the one that Wilson's after, smiles like a toothpaste ad and has as much range as my left buttock....but as shes another IMDb 'up and coming' wannabe ill let her off. but commercial love-interest blandness aside, the sheer comic energy of these two is enough to overpower any cliché and cheesy line that inevitably happens with this comedy romance.

also having just turned 31 i can relate to these two guys getting older and not wanting to settle down, and it just seemed so real. and seeing Wilson as a loser? he's actually likable now and believe it I don't think he is the smarmy blonde-dude I used to think he used to come across as.

the comedy was generally quite well acted, apart from the toilet joke, and other farcical stuff- seems like a senile granny cracking one-liners will crease an audience no matter what decade we are in, the ad-libbed lines were pretty good and the only complaint i may have is that the film is a *little* long-winded. but all in all, 7 out of 10. nice and effortless. great comedy duos - get them while we still have something to laugh about in this increasingly unfunny world. But the Will Ferrell cameo? Buddy, you must actually worship the sh*t you sh*t, cos sometimes your weirdness is just not funny.

American Movie (1999)

Long Live Mark Borschard

[10/10 · 13 June 2005]

I loved this film. I could really identify with Mark's pain and desperation in wanting to get his film made - the lengths he went to get it made getting his family and local community involved is genuine and heartfelt. As already mentioned, this film really needs to be seen by every wannabe filmmaker out there and also those who work hard to make a dream to come true, but for whatever reason never make it.

Also other comments have mentioned the whole mocking attitude that this doc is having at Mark. I disagree. Like i said i can totally relate to the ill-prepared attempts that Mark goes through, and the isolated feeling that no-one understands because they really couldn't care less unless you're rich and famous.And in this day and age of manufactured garbage, the value of an honest artist trying his best to make it is totally shat on. Okay I'm getting personal here....

I've read that since American Movie was made, Mark and his buddy found small time success in the Industry...guest appearance on some TV show or whatever... When I heard that I felt so happy for the guy,no matter how limited or short lived that TV episode or whatever it was, was.... because it encourages people like me to feel that despite the BS, if you want it bad enough, underdogs like Mark can still succeed. And so can I.

MARK BORSCHARD....you RULE!!!!!!!!!!!

Sin City (2005)

FLAT in all senses

[6 June 2005]

the marketing machine seems to dominate the IMDb boards it seems.....well if anyone reads this....don't waste your time.

Rodriguez just is an uninteresting director. bang bang. RIP. POW.WOW THATS COOL. yeah. go on. make the internet generation even more soulless than they already are by feeding them this crap.

Rodriguez, like Tarantino just has his head up his own cooloo but unlike Tarantino is not an actors director. and frank Miller's role? pass the check please , that'll pay for my new house nicely.

why the hell make a comic adaption of a film if your not going to adapt it and instead copy it to the screen , clumsy flatness and all? flatness. thats the topic of this review - the directing, the writing, the emotion, the fx, the violence.

the actors were good and dialog ( some of it was good ) but it was more of a 'spot the Hollywood actor' who did the film for nothing' rather than anything performance orientated. Bruce Willis and Mickey Rourke were good but er what was the point to it all? three revenge stories of old has-been dude saving young girl? yeah? and? i really cannot think of anything decent to say except that I'm glad i didn't pay for this mush.

OK nothing to see here--better move onto the next review that says WOW COOL AWESOME YEAH etc.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Nice one George. Take a break .Go make more money elsewhere.

[7/10 · 6 June 2005]

Thats the title of this review.

So, nice one George. You've made 6 versions of the same film. you're a billionaire. congrats. now take a break.

in the intro we see a tired Lucas opening sequence of lots of spaceships fighting with Anakin being a bit naughty and Obi wan doing his thing.

Particular stand out moments: Sidious' transformation, and the ending which connects to ep 4. the general feeling of everyone relieved that its all over comes across the film. despite the action battles etc it just felt like flogging a dead horse. but a worthy horse.except the cheesy moment that involves...

SPOILER MOMENT (cover your eyes)

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'

SPOILER OVER (can open eyes now)

i still think ( having seen all the new prequels and the original sequels) that the originals had more excitement, and that the prequels have more somberness about them esp being filmed on green-screen.

on the whole, not a bad effort, just thank God its all over.

Now its time for fan-boys to grow up and spend more time with their families and maybe George can finally mature as a filmmaker. Or just make more money. Hmmm. wonder which one he'll choose.More Star Wars anyone? Anyone seen that dead horse?

Lost in Translation (2003)

DAT sum good sh it mun

[22 April 2005]

Dem Sofia Coppola got Dem good tits mun. she date Tarantina ya Na. anyways DE bill Morey he fanny man - he finny as sheet. Dem Carlota she got Dem PHAT AZZ mun.

ya good film me like lots o RAS Japanese girlie like Dem ting- DE give DE good ed mun but ya Na me RAS like Dem all girlie DE like lots a good romp-eh wit Dem way DAT DE like DAT.

me wanna go japan but me scared man- me scared DAT DE Chickie gonna be eaten all op be far me get me hands on DAT posy

where me park pie mun- Ra

so noways now me on DE subjects me wanna make DE film about DE Ra man in DE japan- eat DE sushi from DE Charlot battier ya Na?

was ting man

Follow the Star (1978)

Insane Kung Fu FARCE

[20 August 2004]

They just don't make em like this anymore-and before you cynics say something cynical like 'Thank God', then proceed to crap on about how good Garden State is, let me tell you that this gem is what John Woo had fun with before he got too famous making Hong Kong actioners, resulting in the never ending recent Hollywood bashing for his overused gun play. Fact is, he should go back to making stupid farcical stuff like this- the plot is basically about a motor mechanic who accidentally gets involved with a famous film starlet and has to save her from bad guys who want to kill her to get inheritance money her father left her.

The last section kinda loses its pace ( the graveyard scene gets REALLY long in the tooth) but the way ROY CHIAO gets rid of the bad guys is real cinematic invention at work. And watching this guy who clearly doesn't know martial arts, take on a whole team of assassins three times(!) just adds to the silliness. But for me its all about the characters ( check out the blind hit-man with pingpong eyes and the kung fu master with the metal claw hand) .

These days cinema is too damn serious , farce especially is frowned upon and Comedy is unfortunately anything with Ben Stiller in it, but this is the stuff that Chinese do so well ( see Winners and Sinners and other classic 80s comedy) i bought this film on VCD from some Hong Kong E-bay outlet and as far as i know its unavailable until TAISENG video release it in the States. So ..... 7 out of 10 - not as great as Jackie Chan/Samo Hung but still damn funny.