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Derailed (I) (2005)
3/10
Wow...Did Hollywood run out of ideas?
14 October 2009
I'm sorry, but this was awful. It started awfully and it ended awfully, curled up in the corner, crying itself to sleep. Cardboard characters, plot holes, lack of suspense or any signs of intelligence and a cast full of people just going through the motions. This was everything I had hoped it wasn't going to be.

I thought maybe Hollywood had indeed run out of ideas and was just mishmashing any unfinished products into a super movie of nothingness. I had to finish the movie just to see how this train wreck ended. Thanks be to the FSM that it was free.

The only thing I think after I see a movie this bad is that people get PAID to make these. How do I get paid to make bad movies?
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Superfire (2002 TV Movie)
1/10
More awful than awful
14 May 2008
If there was any way to rate this with negative numbers, I would. I can't even begin to describe the awful depths to which this movie descends. I am constantly amazed at the utter schlock created by people who actually get paid. I can only hope anyone involved in this movie is blacklisted forever.

The magnitude of sheer ignorance in making this film is astounding and inexcusable. It's not like there aren't people who do this for a living every day who could advise as to how fire is actually fought. This is an embarrassment to my profession and to others who fight fire. Damn you all for making such a terrible movie.
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Next (2007)
1/10
Of what?
5 April 2008
This is awful: unwatchable, stupid, without merit or originality. Horribly stupid, embarrassing if you happen to be anyone other than N. Cage of J. Biel. I guess at this point in their respective careers, you can just do it for the money. And, if I were them, I would. Because eventually, after tons of bad movies, the offers will dry up, and the American public will be saved the horrible side effects of Cage+Biel+CGI=blockbuster. may be entertained if you happen to be 12-18. My room mate rented this, so thankfully I did not waste any money on this atrocity, only my time. Save yourself the trouble: if you have any taste in good movies, do not rent this. If, however, you have hours of your life to throw away, this is perfect.
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1/10
Plodding, plodding, plodding.
17 March 2008
I disagree in calling this a stoner movie just because weed also makes an appearance. I can't imagine this as even approaching "stoner classic." That would be like calling Singles a "grunge film." The movie definitely plods along with a murky plot. At times I wondered if the script had either been dropped and shuffled or if they lost it entirely and just tried to wing it. Watching this movie reminded me of watching children play-acting and making the story up as they go along.

The characters are wooden, the dialog is taxed, and the whole story seems to be completely disconnected. Who got killed? When? What? And this is how you act when your friend overdoses? Complete lack of emotion and utter disconnect from reality.

As for the droning guitar soundtrack that accompanies each scene: enough! It was like watching the opening menu screen where the same track loops endlessly in the background, neither moving forward or back.

I kept watching and hoping that the plot would somehow fall in to order, the acting and dialog would improve or something, somehow would focus this mess in to a coherent movie. After 112 minutes, it never happened.
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