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Tentacles (1977)
worst Italian movie with hard to see octopus
9 August 2004
People don't like Lamberto Bava's Devilfish, but it's far better than this junk. In that movie some giant plastic shark/octopus prop is used. In 'Tentacles' I'd also like to be able to see the whole killer octopus, not just close up shots of what could be parts of a small octopus in a fish tank. I really could not tell how the underwater shots were done since I have an old Vestron video copy of this tape and it's not very sharp. These shots are just plain bad in what I would consider the worst Italian horror movie other than 'Beaks'.

I'm watching mostly ocean and beach horror movies now since I moved to the beach, so this movie was some fun to watch for me. There were a few funny jokes at the expense of the overweight. There was also a truly strange scene with dead fish standing on end that I did not understand. On the whole though, it's a waste. The worst scene is when the octopus attacks a boys' sailing race. It's shot so badly that it completely fails to have any effect. Boats just tip over and we see kids making horrified faces. Too bad.
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Hellhole (1985)
80's sex and drugs in the asylum
7 August 2004
There is a lot of nudity in this film. There is a mud bath and a girl on girl fight in the asylum showers. As far as the horror goes, the lobotomized victims do act like zombies. The leather and studs killer, named "Silk" leaves something to be desired. After a slow start the film picks up the pace only to have a drawn out ending where far too many characters need to be killed off. Some familiar B-movie stars on this not very common tape. I did not care for the ugly 80's make-up that the main character always wears, even too bed. Still, there is no real reason to pick at the plot details in this kind of film. At least it does not try to be too socially conscious.
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Island of Battery Acid and Blood
29 June 2004
In the movie's best scene, a girl is showering and we are treated to an amusing killer's point of view shot. He is looking at her through a hole in the wall, but then turns to the pipes where a make-shift plastic jug labeled "battery acid" is attached. Soon the girl is covered in black goo and blood and dies an agonizing death. "Island of Blood" is not one of the most gory slasher, some of the deaths are pretty sick, while others are more standard. Sure enough there is a twist ending and horror fans will be pleased since it involves exploitation films. I won't say how. The movie did finish on an exciting note, but it saves all its clever moments for the end. Not totally crazy from start to finish like I had hoped.
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Crude language, not much violence
27 June 2004
Most of the tapes from Prism video are pretty crazy, but not this one. It's aimed at horror fans I think, but it's quite silly. There is one scene where bargain video horror tapes are discussed (3 for 69 cents!) and a bunch of non-existent silly titles are mentioned including "Klaus Kinski's Bloopers". Ok, there is very little violence and most of movie follows the story of a middle aged man and the zany people he deals with while refurbishing the theater. There is a long audition where all sorts of lousy musical acts try out and we hear "next!" a lot. A running joke involves the bad color scheme our hero's girl friend chose for the theater. The Phantom narrates, which is odd, since he is nasty at the end. There really are no villains in this film, you know everyone is going to go home happy except for some bums and a midget plumber. Oh yeah, I did love the 50's scenes that started off the movie.
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Not nearly as good as the first two films
2 December 2003
I'm sure the whole world would agree that the first two "Blind Dead" films, while perhaps a bit slow, are much more fun than this one. At least the dead have their horses in the first two movies for those long slow motion shots with echoing hoof beats. None of that here. Where are the swords? The templars must have their swords. I guess those were left on land. The blind dead look just right, but otherwise this movie feels like a departure from the series.
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Almost amazing
24 November 2003
It's pretty obvious that this is a revenge film and it's one of the best of the genre. Not quite as gory as the box would lead you to believe, it's still got nasty wounds. The two main actors have been in about a thousand movies each, so you will be happy to see a couple of familiar faces. Great morbid country music is well placed in the film. It's not the best story ever written, but I could sympathize with most of the characters.
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Fear No Evil (1981)
a huge mess, you gotta see it
23 November 2003
I can't believe I've never heard of this before. Got it at the comic book show today. I'm remind of a better satanic school kid movie called 'Evilspeak'. Get that one if you can, but if you wind up with 'Fear no Evil' you will be entertained and surprised. During a showing of a Passion Play the crowd begins to bleed. Yes, there is quite a bit of religious matter in this movie. Angels in human form versus the devil. That is not all though. There are high school teens up to their 80's activities (having sex). Also, naked boys for an odd scene with a violent kiss. This movie is more homoerotic than 'Jeepers Creepers 2'! In the final scene you can see the devil boy's genitals if you pay close attention. I don't know why!?! Then, there are light shows and I expected the beams to come out of the screen in 3-D! Punk soundtrack with the Rezillos, Sex Pistols, Ramones, and Talking Heads.
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good sets, lame ghosts
12 November 2003
A couple of obvious continuity problems caught my eye, but I won't get into it. I did not care for the ghosts and they were never explained. All viewers will feel extremely cheated by the ending.

It's set in a visual interesting House of Usher decorated mainly with flowing drapes and robed statues. That held my attention, but then I got angry about the last scene.
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The Evil (1978)
The Worst
23 October 2003
Nothing good here. Two death's by fire, death by electric wire, death by possessed dog... The Dura Vision copy of this tape straight up lies about the contents of the film. OK, the end is strange, but I felt like I was watching a dull TV movie. The film includes the obvious skeptic who does refuse to believe in the evil forces. It's the worst.
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Pretty Awesome
2 October 2003
I have mixed feelings about the original "Food of the Gods". It's amazing, but easy to hate at the same time. This one is just good eighties fun and with buckets of blood. It's like "Demons", but with giant wet rats in a swimming pool instead of a movie theater. Poor synchronized swimmers!! The animal rights activists are pretty realistic, I should know. Oh yeah, the effects, both the real rats on mini sets, and the rat costumes, look fantastic.
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I loved it and so did my girlfriend..
21 August 2003
Played this Tuesday on a double bill with Re-Animator. Introduced by Johnny Legend, there in the flesh, with that guy who runs one of the memorabilia stores on Hollywood blvd. They said it would probably never be shown again, ever. It's not on vhs or dvd. There is only one print.

A scene where an aging model is put out of her misery is amazing. Lots of splatter and a shock of a final scene that is very Ed Gein. The story is a bit goofy, but good at the same time. See it if you can. Oh, wait, you can't. Well there has got to be a way.
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Raw Force (1982)
Everyone saw the screening last night in West Hollywood..
23 July 2003
Yup, it played on the big screen with on a double bill with "Cannibal Ferox". There were some special guests who worked on this obscure film and they did not have much good to say about it. I guess the director was a big time sleaze and was also inexperienced. There is lots of nudity in this one. All the elements of exploitation are covered, including female slavery. It's actually a really hilarious movie which is probably partly intentional. The crowd loved it.
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horror meets strange European art cinema, should have been a classic
10 July 2003
Not as much a horror movie as the (real cool) Magnum video case lets on, it can be pretty scary and disturbing. Kind of like Gilliam's Baron Munchausen crossed with Fellini Satyricon crossed with any movie where the inmates run the asylum. I'd say it had a pretty high budget and a large cast. I figured it would be some Al Adamson type of film in a cardboard dungeon. Well the atmosphere is great and the shots are cool and very European. Based on a Poe story so the concepts and dialogue are pretty memorable. There are really creative sets and props I never would expect to see. I wonder why more people have not heard of it?
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Not too good, but there are bloody brains...
4 July 2003
The film is not good by any stretch, but it's got elements sure to please the fans. A sadistic midget surgeon for one. There is a dungeon with chained women. I suppose the operation scenes are the coolest. I could not tell if the film used real operation stock footage, not that there are brain transplants in the real world. Well, I was not blown away, but I'm glad I watched it.
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Fiend (1980)
pretty bad, not worth searching for
26 June 2003
A not very entertaining movie with strangulation deaths. Ok make-up and cartoon animation that creates a red glow. Mostly talk. The ending is pretty odd, but it's a long time coming. Maybe kids would like it. Everybody has got a scary neighbor who's yard you don't want the kick ball to fly into.
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Not the well written, but I think it's great
26 May 2003
In this edition, with all the episodes condensed onto one tape, it's pretty obvious that many of the cliff-hangers are resolved the same way. If the car crashes, or explodes, or goes off a cliff, the next episode starts with the same event, but this time we see a scene where the hero hops out the door just in time. Pretty cheap.

Well the Crimson Ghost is a very bad man and I guess wants to take over the world or something. More people will know him as The Misfits logo than this villain and I think they might enjoy him in action. I enjoyed almost the whole serial, but found the end all too sudden, at least in the "movie version" I bought.
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Blackenstein (1973)
one of the worst
16 May 2003
The moving has serious pacing problems, so it's pretty tough to watch. The best part of the movie is the laboratory set, which must have been where most of the budget went. There are three moments of gore involving intestines and they are not too impressive. A few strange shots might catch the eye, but they are probably ripped off from some other movie. At least Blackenstein is not a pimp or anything, though that's probably what viewers want from their campy movies. My tape is from Media. Well, I used a coupon when I bought it.
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Shreck (1990 Video)
No funny donkey
5 May 2003
I brought this home to my kids, and then what? A swastika in Christmas lights. Nazi WW2 stock footage. Real vandalism. "Seig Heil" with a hockey glove?

Then I started to get interested. This movie was not very politically correct and it's also weird as hell. Behind plastic tarps with swastikas spray painted on them are portals to 1958 where Nazi fugitive Max Shreck is torturing and burning small town locals. The interior shots in this movie are in a house decorated with pin-ups from Fangoria magazine. The ghosts who serve Shreck are simply men under white sheets. I must say, the torture devices dreamed up by the writers were quite elaborate. Without giving too much away I'll mention a swastika necklace used as a ninja star and a swastika ceiling fan/lawnmower blade. A lot funnier than a pixilated ogre.

Move over "Splatter Farm", the is the most offensive shot-on-vhs film from the American underground that I've discovered.
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Better than expected, very fun indeed
29 April 2003
The title is great, but the premise of a murder mystery with a wolf may sound awful. Actually it works though, thanks to great characters and witty dialogue. Calvin Lockhart is the black, determined, millionaire in panther style leather who does not care who he alienates in his quest to kill the beast/human. Peter Cushing plays it cool as an expert on wolfmen who keeps the mood intense by shutting down the theories of the skeptics. There are lots of spy gadgets Lockhart uses to monitor his guests.

The beast, played by a real dog, even strikes some cool poses and darts across the screen faster than any man in a wolf suit could. It's a big dog, kind of like a dark lion.
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Just what I needed
27 April 2003
The sex in this one is really hot. In fact it's got the best female masturbation moment that I've ever seen. It's the extreme violence paired with the over the top soundtrack music that really blew me away. Also the cannibals going wild. I showed some friends and they had never watched anything like it. If only "House of 1000 Corpses" could be so crazy. We live in sensitive times and in a tame country. Thank goodness for the classic Italian cannibal movies.
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Disgusting torture and then turns into a bloody action flick
26 April 2003
I've not seen "Man Behind the Sun" or "Evil Dead Trap" or that many Asian horror films. That said, this movie is more gruesome than almost all European and of course American movies that I have seen. It is not quite as disturbing as "The Untold Story" from Hong Kong. I ran to the computer to make sure the autopsy early in the film was not real. I did not really find anything on the web that proved to me otherwise. The naked girl does not look like a dummy and the dry limbs being sawed off, that's shocking. I'm not sure that if it was a real corpse, that it was then material taken from stock footage. Anyway, it blows away the first film in the "Guinea Pig" series, which has a very low budget and poor production values.

This movie has a large cast and does not skimp on special effects. All the gun deaths result in blood splatter. In more lazy gore films they sometimes don't bother and you get a silly PG moment.

The first half of the film is heavy and serious and I was afraid each upcoming scene would make me squirm. Then the movie becomes over-dramatic and unrealistic with scenes that bring to mind "The Story of Ricky". This is an exploitation film more than a movie trying to make a statement about history. The end will have you laughing and perhaps will help ease the guilty brought on by enjoying earlier scenes of gore that are based on real human death camps. Recommended.
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Dracula's Dog (1977)
Not one of those overlooked horror gems in your video store
4 March 2003
No, this movie is just awful. In fact it's got to fall into my bottom five worst horror films ever. I bought it because it was directed by Albert Band. Very dull. Nearly unwatchable. The plot may sound kind of weird and fun, but I assure you that the story is presented in a most unexciting way. I paid even less attention to the action sequences than the tired talking scenes. No one could possibly give a hoot about any of these characters, puppies included. A movie has got to be pretty bad when it can't even generate sympathy for a cute puppy. People that slam "The Hills Have Eyes Pt. 2" for it's dog-based flashback would have a field day with this one.
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I loved it - see this one if you can
21 February 2003
I thought it was absolutely beautiful. The shots were great. Too bad my video tape cut off quite a bit. One scene that rips off 'Night of the Living Dead' really has nothing to do with the plot. I'm not going to complain about the inclusion of zombies in the film. They were pretty creepy looking and bloodier than the average zombie. Effects range from great to horrible, but all are fun to watch. I love the camera placement in this movie. I can't stress that point enough.
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Weak movie for weak people
9 February 2003
The killer tooth fairy idea screams of "straight to video", but this movie is really a big budget Sixth Sense type film. It's one good point is that the CGI looks good since it's dark. The monster, while it reminds me of the Halloween toy hanging in my hallway, is scary.

So there is not a shred of originality in the movie. All the characters and dialogue are from the other horror movies of recent years. We have the kid who speaks cryptically about what the adults don't understand. We have the cop who aggressively does not believe in the ghost, but then comes around and turns into an ally. We have the girl who is turn between believing the "crazy" man she sort of loves and the cold, but sane doctors. The characters are crammed into the movie and their is little background on many of them, but who needs it when we already know them from other films?

As far as the story goes, it's typical Hollywood with a plain boring ending (and I'm not even talking about the pointless final scene). I did feel like walking out. Definitely if I had rented it I would have turned it off. Fortunately the Chinese Theater here in Hollywood has great sound and I stayed to see the effects on the big screen, not because I cared how the tale would end.

This was a tame and unambitious release with little gore and no reason to fear for the safety of the main characters. No children die, yet the monsters is supposed to prey on those losing their last tooth. Go figure. After the real shocks of "The Ring" I don't think audiences are going to stand for this weak fair.

The most pathetic moments are the presence of a crucifix (because those are creepy these day since Stigmata and the Excorcist re-release) and the so tired shot of someone being wheeled down a hospital hallway into terror. Come on, the kid can walk in every other scene.
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Necropolis (1986)
oh, I should not have bought this one
19 January 2003
It's a bad day for movies at my place. First I have to stop watching "Funeral Home" due to boredom. Then I put in this movie. Good thing I had my horror magazines to read during the slow parts. One scene with 3 pairs of dripping breasts (on one witch) cannot carry a whole movie.

It begins in the 1600's, yet the witch is wearing 80's make-up and underwear. Also she is doing a none-too-cool 80's dance. I go to 80's dance clubs and have seen nothing so goofy looking as these ridiculous steps. Not as bad as "Ghoulies IV", but quite bad.
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