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8/10
So many surprises toward the end
27 October 2019
The film was packed with so many surprises toward the end. I just don't know why the Egyptian agent needed this shed on an elevated railroad to summon the mummy and hide out. The only flaw is the crippled limping on one side the mummy does. He appears a bit small, weak and helpless outside, but then resumes the character from previous movies indoors--unstoppable and ready to strangle anyone crossing his path. Just a bit too short.
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Double Air Bags (1999 Video)
5/10
Amatuer, super 8 level home move production
22 October 2019
Lolo looks fine as well as the three guys she's with. We can see the excitement in her wide lips, huge jugs bouncing and moans of ecstasy. It's just the sound is turned off and it's all dubbed off screen in dull monotonous sound effects substituting for her in the room and bland backround music.
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6/10
True Confessions of a cheating army wife
17 October 2019
Purdom plays a combat shocked veteran back home to visit his best friend's widow, and consider his dying wish that he kill her children because they are being raised by her new French lover. Combat scenes of chaos open the show, it seems those North Koreans are good at stabbing with bayonets and making prisoners drink dirty water. A strange suspension of disbelief is introduced. It seems Purdom might be an incurable psychopath, but the veteran's hospital released him anyway. How it ends might be quite a surprise as Ida Lupino struggles to bring him back to safe base.
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Love Camp (1981)
5/10
Plot and acting are below average
11 October 2019
While this film does contain some better than usual sex scenes in the series, they can't offset one dimensional comic book type characters and melodramatic acting, especially the cult queen's muscle bound bodyguard/executioner, Tanga, and the snow white cult leader played by Christian Anders. The sadism and violence are extreme even compared to other Emmanuelle films. Anders also directed and not very well. His theme song sounds very much like a Beatles tune, All You Need is Love.
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Demon's Brew (1973)
1/10
Corny melodrama with junior high level acting
8 October 2019
I have no idea how this amateur movie got to be released in theaters or on video tapes. The best parts are the cum shots, and they're ruined by a witch cackling while she collects the semen in a glass. It's interesting that a lot of the goofy plot resembles some events in the real life marriage of Jack Birch and Carol Connors. For example, his daughter was fired from a production of Dracula because he objected to Thora getting a back rub from a cast member. The main character here in parody is Dracula, also. A change in sex preference caused by a magic formula appears here, too. Thora was given her name because the couple expected a boy.
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10/10
Not gonna happen..
2 October 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Bille Ellish was quite good. I liked the number where she walked on the walls and the ceiling--was it with magnet shoes or a camera trick? My guess is since it was on a picture from somewhere else it was the second choice. It reminded me of a Fred Astaire film from the fifties. The best sketch was where the reporter on the Washington in review show just kept saying after all the silly things Trump did that impeachment's "not gonna happen." I bet at the end of the season he'll be right.
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5/10
Is she wearing a fatsuit?
27 September 2019
I only tuned in for a few minutes, so read what others say and try it for yourself. I couldn't recognize Kelly, she looks so chubby and seems to have put on some weight. Her fans might think I'm exaggerating, but even if she's not fat, she wears thick outfits that look like it. It's like someone put a barrel around her shoulders and set the hem lines along the edges. I'll watch a music segment sometime and see if my rating improves. Kirsten Dunst was on who I never liked to discuss yet another Bring it On sequel--will this be the eighth or ninth? Two or three was already too many. And a guest was quizzed on how fast he could change a diaper. I think compared to Steve Harvey's Family Feud (not his talk show) for the tenth season, she could top Ellen's ratings in five minutes. A look at her song of the day told me this. She needs to sing her own songs more often. Plus she needs to let her musical guests sing more often, too. Reba McIntyre had a perfect chance to dedicate a song to a woman watching who had terminal cancer. I don't think Reba sang even once during the whole show.
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Svengoolie (1995– )
5/10
Interrupts movie at the wrong time
15 September 2019
Sven seems to be trying to appeal to the wrong age groups with his show. He has a costume, sets, and jokes that appeal to kids, but I doubt kids 5 to 10 years old will have good dreams watching shows that even test adult tolerance for crude violence like Curse of the Mummy's Tomb or Straightjacket. He also interrupts some better films like Attack of the 50 Foot Woman during the best parts. His films from the 30's and 40's are really good though. Still, adding sound effects to some of the movies was going too far for me.
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The Werewolf (1956)
6/10
Could use more surprises
8 September 2019
The Werewolf tries to modernize the story in a contemporary setting, yet the posse hunting the wolf still carries burning torches instead of lights. It also sets up two doctors as villains who gave the wolf man an experimental drug to cure radiation poisoning, yet we see the ending is the same as most of the films do. I think the acting to generate sympathy for the werewolf was overdone if they wanted to use the same ending from other films like it.
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10/10
A laugh riot--really fun to watch
6 September 2019
Miss Van Doren stars as a new science professor at a small college with Martin Milner as the dean who decides to check up on her backround. He finds out she is really Tassles Montclair, a former stripper hiding out from gangsters to exhibit her IQ in a new career where she nurses the troubled psyches of football player WuWu Grabalski and the campus computer Sam Thinko. The film just oozes with comic bits from Louie Nye, Brigette Bardot's sister (she has French subtitles when she talks) the monkey from Bedtime for Bonzo, and the always lovely Tuesday Weld as Wu Wu's jealous girl friend.
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5/10
Mr. Arkadin meets This is Your Life
6 September 2019
I haven't seen the whole movie yet, and this is one problem with it. It drags along into so many small characters and subplots, it's a chore to finish. The opening resembles Mr. A quite a bit, but we didn't need any modern references to take us out of the time it was set, like "Before cellphones and ipods." It's unrealistic to think people who knew Welles could know what parts stayed and what parts could be cut. I don't know why people who knew a famous director would ride together in a school bus to his party, except as a way of introducing the characters and revealing their secret opinions about him. I would like to be remembered if I were famous as someone who made movies that appealed to simple tastes and problems of ordinary people. Sad what a grandiose ego trip can do. I suppose it never occurred to those reviewing a hundred hours of footage that Welles might have intended to have a mystery open "question mark" ending for the film.. Late photography director Gary Graver said in an interview ten years ago the ending planned for this film was different then what I saw here.
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Satan's School for Girls (1973 TV Movie)
10/10
Suspenseful, chilling, with surprises waiting
1 September 2019
Pamela Franklin stars as a student enrolled at the Salem Academy to solve her sister's mysterious death by hanging. She wants to prove it was not a suicide but really a murder. The creepy science teacher seems to be suspect throughout with dead lab rats found in the basement. Then, suspicion lies with the headmistress (Jo Van Fleet) but finally the popular art teacher is uncovered as the culprit, a leader of a satanic cult who wants to sacrifice eight more girls, including Pam's best friend (Kate Jackson) who was pretending to try to help her solve the mystery and prevent more deaths. Only drawback on video are the pauses every ten minutes written into the TV movie for commercial breaks. Co-stars Cheryl Steppelmore Ladd of Charlie's Angels fame.
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Strait-Jacket (1964)
7/10
Not much different than Perkins and Hitchcock's film
27 August 2019
I admit I'm a bit timid and can't sit through these type of movies with both eyes open. It even surprises me that it's been shown uncut on broadcast TV. I would rather watch one of Castle's films with a neat gimmick attached like vibrating seats or a big skeleton in front of the screen. But what gimmick could they dream up for this? Decap-o-vision? Slash a rama? My favorites of this genre have a complete twist ending with a suspicious character proven completely innocent while the least likely suspect is found out I.e. Alice Sweet Alice. Good performances and stunning shocks throughout. But if's often said that off screen heads rolling can be more effective than onscreen in your face violence.
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5/10
Corny music, badly synched dialog
15 August 2019
I couldn't help but notice the parallel between the plot and Wishman's real life after her husband died a year earlier while they lived in Florida for a short period of time. So, the bank robbers hide out in a Florida nudist camp. Here the film seems to be an extended commercial to join a nudist colony. Her husband was an adman, too. One falls in love, the other dies. The film had me laughing at some ridiculous moments. I swear the naked folks spent so much time soaking in the pool it must've given them water wrinkles in a couple of days. A lot of girls with attractive boobs appear and seem to be filmed twice over again.
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4/10
Kind of a yawner
15 August 2019
The sex scenes all look pretty much alike. The tattoos the girls wear annoy and sicken me to no end. The sound is cut off during the best parts and covered with music. Not recommended for a pay per view device, which is about the only place you can get this video now. A DVD release might be some improvement where you don't have to sit so close. Last but not least, the contest segments feel like work behind the scenes to sit through after awhile. Put the stuff into an interesting movie first.
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10/10
6 horny guys and Carol Baker alone in the desert--what could be better?
1 August 2019
So tensions build at a lonely oil pump station in the middle of the Sahara where the men steal or buy dirty postcards and love letters while the more handsome among them fight over poker when a car wreck brings in Catherine Starr and her injured husband, Jimmy, who she's trying to split up with. Kramer and Martin become rivals for her love in some steamy scenes. Jimmy's revenge is a spectacle to behold. But really, what do 5 men have to work on living by an oil pump? Mostly any broads they can talk into meeting them there, I guess. Bryan Forbes directed one of his best early works and one less re-edited with a more coherent plot. Baker is at her dramatic best also.
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Key West (1993– )
5/10
Very cutesy..hope their sexophobia isn't contagious
21 July 2019
Fisher Stevens does a good Hawkeye as the rugged writer, Jennifer Tilly is nervous and cutesy as a girl hiding out from a convent.. a topless blonde dancer spends the night next to him where she completely trusts him alone for platonic reasons.. blah, blah, stagey monologues rattle on.. Is it too much to ask for a little realism and believability? Are their clothes really glued on when they sleep at night?
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3/10
Poorly plotted, mediocre acting
20 July 2019
Somehow the film makers just don't think this movie is scary enough. Even after a gory beginning of chopping off a hand, a head, I think, and stabbing a victim in the desert who wants to move the mummy, it continues to zoom in close on every character and prop with ominous music, attempting to underscore moments of dull dialogue with more fear. The ending cuts off a bit too quickly. We aren't helped by the absence of any Hammer stars like Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing, either.
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8/10
Can't avoid laughing
24 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Best parts; Clark and Ellen walk into the wrong bathrooms and take a bath with different partners. The plane nearly hits the statue of liberty. He tapes Ellen during the act, the camera is left on and the tape is not erased. It's my favorite seguel, but I had to shut my eyes when Clark ran into Eric Idle who was on a bicycle.
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8/10
Unconventional sci fi movie
17 June 2019
Allison Hayes plays an unconventional role as Nancy Archer. She is a wealthy and powerful woman who can play by her own rules more often than not. Harry (William Hudson) seems to have married her for her money and is always hoping for some form of insanity to be diagnosed so he can have it for himself and run off with Honey Parker (Yvette Vickers) The fight scene between Harry and the butler who's protecting Nancy is quite realistic. Unfortunately the special effects for the giant Nancy aren't very good and really are the only thing keeping the film from being great instead of awful like most people think.
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8/10
Better than you'd expect
14 June 2019
Neil Hamilton plays the owner of a doll shop that lures Robert Alda into a voodoo cult through a dream he has of a mysterious blonde beauty he has never seen before. Members of the cult must give unconditional loyalty or be sacrificed with a remote spell. Character actor Bruno De Sota is branded a traitor and is asked to pick up his doll for sacrifice. Hey, he could've just taken the doll and run out the door! The ending is surprising good, leaving a question mark. Maybe they wanted an opening for a spinoff. Linda Christian and her sister from Mexico both have roles in the film.
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10/10
Holly Sampson is great
12 June 2019
Not one reviewer so far has mentioned Holly Sampson. She's really great in this show as the magic blonde giving the troubled film editor the confidence to pick up girls and make his boss jealous. Liked every scene in it, even the quickie scene in the closet before the wedding.
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Scared Topless (2015 TV Movie)
4/10
Stale time filler
2 June 2019
Jim Wynorski's spoof lacks the freshness of his other horror movie parodies like House on Hooter Hill or Bare Wench Project. It has the flavor of "one more picture needed for my contract, so let's fill up the time with nasty sex scenes." Music covers the sound too often. The opening scene would have been much better if it didn't change to a film the characters were watching until it was ending. In fact in 20 percent of this the characters watch a movie or TV show of someone else. Jacqui Holland always seems to look away toward the camera or a corner of the room to show off her face, it's less exciting this time and more of a distraction.
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3/10
Virtudally moronic, almost plotless
28 April 2019
The two nerdy guys in this show seem to have nothing to do but put on a pair of goggles and grin while some hot sex scenes go on, especially the often repeated motorcycle scene with Nikki Fritz. They even open a website on their PC and it's Surrender Cinema, the same company that produced the film! It's so bad they need to pad time by advertising themselves. If only we'd stop seeing the two nerds grin and giggle in cuts during the sex scenes it'd be five times better.
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2/10
Dull, unimaginative plot
28 April 2019
This movie has good actors and photography, but it's just an obvious remake of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in double step. We can just see the son is just repeating what his father did twice. Read other reviews, I just got tired of thinking, "He's just doing the same thing over again. I know what he'll do next."
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