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Reviews
Vesper (2022)
Dull as dishwater
When I heard that Vesper took six years to make I assumed we'd be talking about a massive budget production. After about 5 minutes and getting a distinct "Day of the triffids, Tripods, early Dr Who" budget vibe from it I checked and it turns out it only cost three coconuts and a handful of raisins to make.
The flying "Wilson" is probably the most expensive part of the production but perhaps they should have asked for a few more coconuts from the investors to convert into suspense, excitement and ... science fiction
It's not totally terrible, the 15 rating is grossly inappropriate, a PG would suffice.
There's little context to any of the more interesting elements and the dying father just adds to the uninteresting misery.
Blonde (2022)
More Blair Witch project than LA Confidential
A difficult watch, I promised my wife it had Brad Pitt in it but instead we were confronted with gratuitous big pants and toplessness, usually I would have enjoyed that but I can't say that I did on this occasion.
I found myself going down my own rabbit hole of mental depression to the point that I couldn't wait until the end so I could escape the downward spiral of emptiness I was feeling. It's entirely possible that this was because the film was so stunningly actuate and I was sucked in to the bipolarism of the tragic heroine or it might just be (and this is almost certainly more probable) that I was bored by the bland, unimpressed by the assumptions and put off by the propaganda that claims that this was a brilliant film.
The irony of poor Ana De Armas being massively exploited in this film should not go unnoticed!
Imawa no Kuni no Arisu (2020)
Utterly brilliant
After the initial jumping to conclusions that inevitably happens with post-apocalyptic sci fi I found myself throwing all comparisons to anything else in the bin.
I loved every second of this (well I may have fast forwarded a few bits such was my need to discover "The Truth") and genuinely loved the ending as it surprisingly left me with no sense of disappointment.
If you don't think the King of Clubs is a rock star to rock all ages then you need to wake up and start worshipping! R/suddenlygay
This series is a cleverly emotional rollercoaster to the point that it feels cleverer than any of us could be!
Oh hang on suddenly I feel very inadequate...
Moon Knight (2022)
Frank Spencer does Marvel (edit up from 3)
Episodes 5 and 6 borderline on brilliant. Recommend persisting, it's difficult if you're British and can't cope with the cringe but it does get much better and indeed cleverer. A shame the first few episodes were so unfathomable. You still have to put many of the pieces together yourself however.
"What I said before":
Never thought I'd see the day when I'd be expecting a superhero to break into a rendition of "oooh Betty" but that's exactly what I'm waiting for each time I try and put myself through an episode of Moon Knight.
I get that it's supposed to be a bit bi-polar, and the first couple of episodes are intentionally disorienting but the Steven with a v character just adds to the overall nausea with his extremely bad "clearly coached by Michael Crawford" impression of an English mentalist.
It gets "a bit" better as the episodes go on but to be honest I'm only watching it while I wait for the better series to be released.
Ancient Egypt is such an interesting and fascinating subject, unlike the hero(es) of this effort!
Willow (2022)
Extremely poor acting, gets worse not better
I'm trying to think of how to describe this in the best possible way but any effort I put in simply gives credit to this show it doesn't deserve.
Think Labyrinth + Dark Crystal + Never ending story + Prince's Bride... then take the cutting floor excerpts from each of us those, glue them all together and you'd still have a better written, more coherent, better acted and significantly more enjoyable show than what this is.
My wife asked me what I was doing watching a kids show! B-b-but it's a 16+ I protested... how, I have no idea because the violence is as graphic as the Muppets and the fear factor as gratuitous as Sesame Street.
I can't tell if the British actors are trying to be a bit American and/or the American actors are trying to be a bit British.
It's all a bit disappointing tbh.
Edit: I forgot to say adding Metallica hasn't had the same effect as it did in Stranger Things.