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Cabin Fever (2002)
QT and PJ got it darn right!!
I heard before going to see this that Mr Tarantino loved this film, and so did Mr Jackson - if this is true, then those men have gone up even more in my respect> I loved this film - no, i really did; honestly - a group of seven friends went to a darkened theatre, and only one survived; the rest died in the agony of this film being, "terrible" did they say? "pointless", "toneless", "inconsistence" Jeez, i didnt know i was meant to be watching Lawrence of Arabia or something... Big
deal if it was some of those things - things which i have to agree on i guess, but goddam i enjoyed this piece of trash - from its trashy acting, to its trashy plot, location and characters, and to its Jaws like music - i loved it. The poster is going on my wall, right damn now -
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
in a darkened theatre, i was destroyed
Devastation - there are many things that can, and will, devastate a person in his or her life. Akin to the devastation of this movie going experience, in a darkened theatre, is the devastation of its lack of power, its lack of damaging, its lack of emotionally caving power, to destroy me, on home video release.
in a darkened theatre my heart wept for every living man, who had to fight in any war, of any year in the existence of this world. The horror and the hollow
vacuum that my heart was drenched and sucked into, during the first quarter of this film, was unlike anything that had ever become of me. The experience was in fact so upsetting and demanding of my soul, that i repeated it - once again on my own, and once more with a friend. And the beginning, THAT beginning, beat
my heart faster as it crept into the cut, to the past, to the horror, the second viewing, and once again, the third viewing. At this point, this movie was the only movie, and it stuck with me, and moved me so much that it was at this point, the most amazing thing i had ever witnessed.
So why is it no longer even close to meaning as much to me?
in a darkened living room, as it crept into the cut, my heart barely beat a beat faster - at home, in comfort perhaps, this movie did nothing - and became
nothing more than a Spielberg movie, with Tom Hanks trying to save Matt
All i could think, was how? How could this be released onto video, into the
comfort of homes, the comfort of bedrooms? Releasing this on video has
destroyed the movie. I only pray that one day, i will own enough equipment, to bring the heart out of the magnetic tape, out of the glossy DVD, bring the pain beyond Tom Hanks face, beyond John Williams music - and once again watch
the ghost of a battle, that terrified and took so many lives, as it once destroyed me, in that darkened theatre.
Shot on film, it may have prosperred(then again, No mac, shut up)
Ok, so i had the audacity to watch Jack Frost - although this was not through some purchase of my own, thank god, i thought, before watching the
predetermined terrible piece of trash - but my word, Jack Frost, was brilliant - well, perhaps a better word to use: it certainly was not brilliant, hilarious, but not brilliant; unfortunatley i am not smart enough to find a better word suited to describe the film, so it must be left to "brilliant".
Jack Frost 2 on the other hand, was atrocious - and not in the same sense of the first film - this really truly was terrible. Jack Frost himself is barely seen, but constantly heard - like a narrator to the images of awfulness - but i will state, that this film did do one thing to me that the first one did not:
In Jack Frost, one line knocked me flat into histerics -
"Whats it like being immortal? ITS COLD!!"
I honestly never presumed that the film could have done such a thing to me, i was in tears, but that did not prepare me for the colossal voice over in The
Return of the Mutant Killer Snowman: can you guess it?
"Thanks for the nose, I'm off to the islands!!"
I nearly fainted; a friend was squealing like a dying pig - how could such a
terrible film, and such a terrible line, do such a thing to myself - and to my dying pig friend?
who knows, and who will ever know - maybe if they make a third one and it
holds another gem of disgrace, we can figure it out then, but until that
we will wait
Rating: This film is skid, and not a thing more than that.
Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
I imagine the best film this year will be this.
This is unbelievable. Ok, i did not really like Boogie Nights very
much, it was just Goodfellas but with the porn industry replacing
gangsters, but Magnolia really was brilliant. It really got me
interested in the director, and when i heard that his next flick would
be an adam sandler art house movie i was over the moon. I love
adam sandler, even though most of his films are childish, but who
cares. They make me smile, and sometimes thats all a movie
should need to do. So i sat back in hope, praying for it to be
released soon, because there really was not much coming out
that intrigued me. I waited and waited, and finally it came. It could
have been all i wanted, it could have been awful. And oh my god, what was it? It was magnificent. I left the cinema with a happiness
i have not felt in a long long time. It puzzled me, it shocked me, it
made me smile, it made me feel dizzy. . it is one of the best films i
have ever seen. The camera work and framing? My god. . Nothing
but genius, and in all, the direction is so amazing i really hope he
wins every award possible. Adam Sandler worried me quite a lot
during the movie; his sudden bursts of rage were not only
unexpected and quite quirky in some scenes, but worrying at the
same time: he really seemed quite a fragile and sorry character.
The opening scene spun me into a state of complete unknowing
and for the rest of the film i never really knew what was going to
happen. Very unpredictable, unsettling, whimsical, beautiful and
basically and quite simply: ASTONISHING.
The Haunting (1999)
what a disgusting disgrace
What in the name of all thats holy gives anyone the idea or right to
remake The Haunting into such a ghastly piece of, , well, i wont
say what i'd like to say, but it truly is that word, with each letter in
capital, and followed by a thousand exclamation marks. The
original film was brilliant, but i can fully understand the idea of
remaking it, but in saying that, when i read about it, i had some
hope that it would be good. But good, it defiantely is not. Why did
Jan De Bont not read the script? And if he did, why did he not throw
it in the writers face, and spit on it? This film was just dreadful. I
really cant explain why i was so disgusted with it, becasue if i even
bring up any points, it will make me feel sick. The worst film ever
made. A disgrace that money that could have been spent on a
number of other projects, including charities, was given to the
idiots who were behind the making of such filth.
Donnie Darko (2001)
a beautiful film and nothing less than this (spoilers within)
For a long time, i knew nothing about the existence of Donnie
Darko, it happened to just appear to me one day, in a synopsis
and review. And from here, although i knew nothing more of it than
this, i bought the region 1 dvd; eagerly awaited its arrival with a
feeling of dread as much as a feeling of possible oncoming
wonder, and thankfully, it was the second of these emotions that i
fell into. Donnie Darko, was amazing. Every aspect of it , i found
almost perfect. I dont think i am yet to see a perfect film: even the
very best films can have an ingrediant or two missing from what
could be classed as a personally perfect film. But boy does this
film come so close. The story line is rather complicated but at the
same time it can also be seen as quite simple: a teenager, at
emotional war with the world around him realises that to save it
from its oncoming desruction, and to save everyone around him,
he must let himself die. Of course, this pleasant though
melancholic story is told by quite a bizarre plot, which makes
things seem a little more complex. But in the end, things are not.
Donnie Darko tells a beautiful, if sad, fairy-tale like story and it tells
it with brilliance. Brilliant characters; brilliant pace; brilliant
direction and an absolutely amazing score ( which is laden with
some great 80s tunes) I loved this film. It doesnt have the
grandeur of The Two Towers, but it is definately my favourite film of
last year. 9.5/10
Dog Soldiers (2002)
Worst Movie EVER
Oh my god, how can i start on my spiral of disgust at this film. . Firstly, i heard of it, thought to myself that it could be really good, but then reminded myself it was made in Britain. Being from Britain i think its fair to say that i hate the film industry in this country. They get good ideas and absolutely ruin them. In this case, its possibly trying to be every other movie around. Firstly it mimics Predator, Evil Dead, Jaws, aghhhh, i cant continue or i'll drown myself in disgust. It was like an episode of Casualty gone wrong. It was so pathetic, it didnt even have me laughing at its untalented story and style. Even TROLL 2 did that. What is wrong with my industry?? If its not films about coal miners, sappy rom-coms its rubbish like this which is basically british film makers trying to be american film makers. Which is almost as ridiculous as the film. So heres an idea, the next time anyone over here gets a good idea we'll give it to someone else to make it into a good film. I cant afford to see another film like this ever again. 0 out of 10.
Amazing in childhood, and amazing still now.
wow. i love this film. i saw it when i was pretty young and absolutely loved it, as i do much of Dante's flicks from this time - The Burbs, Gremlins, InnerSpace - and i still love it to this very day. in fact, i understand the ending a little better now. i remember the ending being quite disappointing in some senses - the aliens just dont live up to the majesty that proceeds them - but this is exactly how the main character played by Ethan Hawke feels. So in some senses this could be seen as truly amazing film-making. But maybe i am being a little silly through my love of the film, which also i must add, has one of the best themes. A theme which only arrives half way through the film, when their craft is almost finished in its building. I love this film, but i can understand that some people may not enjoy it or even find it to be that good a film. I of course dont agree with this in any way - and less than 6/10? Outrageous. it deserves at least 7 anyway. But nevertheless, people have their opinions, and in mine i shall give it 8.5/10.
Batoru rowaiaru (2000)
shocking, violent, twisted and sick but truly astonishing.
I first heard of this movie from a friend. He told me about this japanese film that was coming out, how it supposedly was the most violent film "ever made", and he told me its name, B A T T L E R O Y A L E Now, when i heard it was being shown at a local arts cinema, i had to go along and see it. i had heard some other rumours of its brutallity so was expecting that, but what i was not expecting is how good the film would actually be. i was actually going in thinking it would probably not be that good. A lot of films that are hugely violent are usually not that good. Usually because its too much to have to watch, along with a terrible storyline. Thats what i was expecting. Basically, BATTLE ROYALE blew me away. Some scenes sickened me, some scenes shocked me, but every scene i adored. The film is fast, stylish, violent, shocking, funny, and just sick and twisted. But all of this is for a reason. And thats what makes it so good. The violence is not just there to offend. It is there to shock you, but for a reason. i saw this film one night with a friend, and she loved it. I couldnt stop thinking about it, and a few nights later i went to see THE LORD OF THE RINGS, and it really did nothing for me. it was quite disappointing actually. But the thing is i couldnt really blame the film, as i had just seen the best film i have seen for many many years. BATTLE ROYALE is amazing. Shocking, violent, twisted and sick but truly astonishing.