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Bikini Detectives (2011)
Why was this even made?
A bunch of horrible actresses with loads of poor quality plastic surgery spend 80 minutes prancing around acting stupid. There's almost no plot, the writing is horrific, the camera work is even worse, and the girls aren't even much to look at thanks to the cheap 16mm film and terrible lighting. I can't even imagine why someone would use film in 2011, or bother making a cheap skin flick when broadband internet and HD porn already existed.
If you need a low budget skin flick with lousy acting, go find the twelve Andy Sidaris Lethal Ladies films. Those are at least fun to watch and you can actually see beautiful women. Bikini Detectives is just a waste of time.
Absolutely Fabulous: Morocco (1994)
Not horrible, but not great.
It has all the usual stuff of an AbFab episode. The girls act horribly toward each other and everyone they meet, they crap all over Saffron. They suffer due to their own ignorance. Its a little entertaining. I think the real problem here is the rampant racism they spew, none of which was funny not even in 1994. Yes, they are supposed to be unpleasant women but the writers push it a bit far in this episode. Even though the series doesn't have many episodes, this one can still be safely skipped by the casual fan. The scenes in Morocco are not particularly beautiful and its really not a good cultural experience.
Really bad jokes with gratuitous nudity.
As others have already stated, its just a collection of rotten jokes (most with a sexual theme) that were already stale and outdated when this was made in 1975. I guess they figured it would be entertaining if it had nude women and men throughout, which I think it does. The jokes aren't funny in the 21st century and I doubt most of them got laughs in the 20th century but sometimes bad humor can be amusing if you enjoy the cheese factor. The nudity is there for the sake of nudity, it neither helps nor hinders the jokes.
Watch it for the 70's nostalgia or if you like bad movies, but its not high quality entertainment.
Frasier: She's the Boss (1995)
Always fun to watch the windbag get put in his place.
A nice start to season 3 even though from this point on we will never have a whole season as good as season 1 or 2. Its a treat to see Grammar acting cocky and getting put down, especially by a woman. He's lovably pompous and entertaining, as is the rest of the cast. Watching him adjust to change and fight with women on equal footing is hilarious. Bulldog and Gil are appropriately over the top as usual. Roz steps it up a notch and not only displays her seriously tough side, but also has a few nice zingers. Niles and Martin don't get to do much beside pick on Frasier but its still funny.
Season 3 follows with even more and better episodes but gets off to a nice start here.
Stag Party (1986)
The good old days
Back when more women were natural and fit and just liked to tease vs. whore themselves. This production is done on the premise a guy is getting a filmed bachelor party in Vegas, which I kind of doubt but it was amusing to watch. Him and hid buddies are teased by a variety of strippers. All the girls are hot, few have implants and each of them knows how to dance. Its fun and everyone else seems to be having a good time too. Only complaint is it was shot on video and hasn't aged well since the 80's. Also the DVD has a lot of stupid garbage on it and for some reason you cant skip passed all the intro stuff each time you play it.
Please be advised this presentation contains plenty of nudity, including brief full frontal.
Good if you like nostalgia, mediocre for actual tease or eroticism.
Some of us recall a time when there was no 4chan and their goat porn. We remember an era when teasing was still fun and beautiful women dressed up just to shake their bodies at us and that was all we needed. This presentation takes us back to the good old days. Its a so-called contest but really just an excuse to have have gorgeous women dress up and show off. The girls are all hot and actually seem to know how to dance. More teasing than anything else, and you wont see much besides some nude upper bodies. But it is a lot of fun and nice to remember a simpler time. One caveat is it looks to have been shot on video. While masterfully restored for the DVD its a reminder that 80's video was a poor mans way of getting productions done, and never really meant for archiving or later restoration. The first season of Star Trek TNG looks better. I only mention that because it came out the same year. Also there's plenty of good soft-core porn from the same era which shows full nudity, if thats really your thing.
Frasier: Dark Victory (1995)
One of the better season finales.
Frasier had tons of good episodes in 11 seasons and the the premiers & finales were often particularly good. This one stands out as even better than most of those. The writing is solid, the jokes are funny, and it manages to be genuinely touching without getting overly mushy. They found a plausible excuse to have the lights out and actually use the fireplace which lends a certain atmosphere for the intimate conversation.
Much like the first season finale this one does a great job reflecting on the growth and changes happening with the characters and how they relate to each other. Frasier comes home expecting a nice evening and instead fixes everyone's issues. He even refers to Roz and Daphne as extended family.
A great episode and one that should be used as an example to folks who haven't yet seen the series and don't know what all the hype is about.
Slow start to an otherwise excellent season.
First off, almost all Frasier episodes are excellent, a cut above anything else on TV at the time. Having said that, this particular one isn't a very good example of the series. Its slow and tedious, and even worse not particularly funny. The vast majority of the jokes come in the first third and then it gets serious, but not in a particularly touching manner. The episode tries to come across as sweet and melancholy but really just falls flat. The last third is especially slow and free of any funny material. It is very nice to hear about the events which shaped Frasiers childhood but they did it in such a hammy way the view doesn't care much about his experiences.
Niles gets in a few zingers and has some more time getting close to Daphne, Martin has a couple of great lines, but overall its not enough to drag this episode up from mediocrity.
This is a shame as we are just coming off an excellent season finale (possibly the best of all 11 seasons) and the rest of season 2 is actually quite good. In fact it has some of the very best episodes of the entire series. But its a poor start and I wonder how many people may have quit watching early just because of this one.
If you consider yourself a fan you should probably see it for the sake of completeness and also some good insight into Frasiers character, just don't expect to be entertained. Luckily things improve a great deal in the next episode.
Bad, and not in a fun campy way either.
I really don't think we needed a sequel to the awful Showgirls almost 20 years after the fact.
Imagine Showgirls horrible acting and nonsense plot only even worse, along with a home camcorder and no budget for effects or proper editing. The video is horrible, the sound is horrible, it doesn't even have the hint of sensuality that Showgirls 1 failed to ultimately deliver. The only redeeming feature of this film is Rena Riffel looks just as good as she did back then, possibly even better. If this had been a little campier it could have gone into cult status. As such its just a really bad amateur film the world never needed.
If you need a T&A fix there's better movies, not the least of which is the unrated Showgirls.
NewsRadio: Bill Moves On (1998)
Probably the best you could do under the circumstances.
I didn't rate it high just because I love Phil Hartman. The episode was genuinely good given the difficulty involved filming it. The show is known for not being at all sentimental but they managed to have an episode based on the death of a character & actor and NOT make it too sappy. They pay appropriate respects but also manage to be extremely funny. In fact this episode is much better than most of season 4 which kinda stunk by comparison. Its a shame that Phils last episode was the crummy Titanic story. But this one pays the appropriate amount of respect to the legendary comedian by being genuinely funny and no more sentimental than it needed to be, which is exactly what Phil would have wanted.
The fact this show couldn't last one whole season after his passing proves he really was the foundation of their little gang. And at no point do they ever fail to appreciate his contribution. God bless the News Radio cast & crew.
Best episode of season 1
If you need to know what KITH is all about, this episode will tell you everything. Includes several classic skits such as the Gay Vampire, the Mass Murderer, and others. Even the ones which aren't classic are still hilarious. This one exemplifies everything that is brilliant about The Kids, how even when they seem over the top there is actually a subtle quality of classy comedy in every line, dialog, and shot. All 5 of them poured their hearts into the performances and there's even a couple call back jokes which are supremely funny.
Watch just this one, and you will be hooked on the whole series, I promise.
Possibly the worst episode of DS9.
I am not a huge fan of any Ferengi heavy episode, especially one with the annoying mother (Moogi) or the grand Nagus (Wallace Shawn). I normally love his acting but he always plays it over the top annoying. The voice is especially bad and the dialog is always horrid. This particular one is incredibly unpleasant to watch. The tone is inconsistent, story is weak and pacing is poor. Watching so many Ferengi act feminine was embarrassingly unpleasant. I have heard a bunch of reasons why it fell flat, particularly the poor directing, but it stands to reason no one involved in the actual production liked working on the episode.
The charming and gorgeous Leeta is not enough to pull this stinker up. Its a horrible episode and out of 173 this one could easily be deleted from all records and I don't think too many people would miss it. Even Ferengi lovers would be disappointed this time.
I can forgive the actors and producers because this season contains so many excellent episodes, so it doesn't really pull the rest down.
Frasier: Semi-Decent Proposal (2001)
Lousy two parter
It seems like they didn't have enough material for two whole episodes so they stretched it out. It was filled with lame jokes and slow story telling. The B-plots with Niles & Daphne and their sleeping habits was annoying as was Martins trouble with a DVD player and Eddie not being popular. The constant neurosis of Frasier trying to impress a girl has long grown tired. Roz trying to get Springsteen tickets could have been a whole episode by itself but the opportunity was completely wasted, as was the potential relationship between Kirby and Frasier. Luckily that relationship has time to grow in another episode later on. Overall it seemed like the producers and writers ran out of good ideas a long time ago and the true gems are few & far between. This was not one of them even though Claire was great material. This two-parter should have been condensed so all the best jokes and plots could move along quicker. But a bad episode of Frasier is still much better than most other shows so it gets an automatic 5/10.
Clash of the Titans (2010)
OK for the tweens and people who just need to kill some time.
It stunk. Not badly, but there was a definite factor of non-awesomeness. They tried a little too hard to make it over-the-top Epic, and fell short. As such we are left with a movie that felt like it could have been fantastic, but ended up being a good way to kill two hours.
Audio was over driven to cover up for the lack of quality content. Graphics were so heavy on the CGI, I lost the imersiveness and kept getting reminded that Hollywood was trying to blow my mind. Story was stripped down and poorly told. And I think they changed quite of a bit of the original mythology. I know they changed heavily from the original movie. Again its obvious they were pushing the action. Hera was completely cut out of the story. Apollo had one line and it was meaningless. The other Olympians were seen for maybe 2 or 3 frames. Acting from the lead was not great. It was obvious he was trying to over act. Maybe cuz he was a young newb surrounded by veteran actors. Liam Neeson is better suited to Zeus than Hannibal, but he still just didn't come across as quite right. Most of the supporting cast did a great job, but it still wasn't enough to make this movie great as a whole. It makes me not wanna go to the theater anymore.
Its a fine way to kill a afternoon, but don't go in expecting to get your money worth, or hoping for something that will be remembered in years to come. Its pretty darn forgettable. I suspect the kiddies will love it and then not speak of it 6 months from now.
NewsRadio: Space (1997)
Not the best of the series.
This one is a nice little fantasy that takes place several hundred years in the future in space. I think the writers and crew and cast were really bored and felt the need to get silly. The writing is horrible and way overdone. Its not even funny as a spoof of the show or a spoof of other space shows. The jokes are childish and too obvious, they don't come across as funny. Watching Dave attach the word "Space" to everything was painful. Space dollars. Space couch. Space radio. Space news. Space coffee. It was all too dumb to even be fun and silly. Bringing back the hot chick from the previous episode as a RoboBabe was pointless. Making references to alien sex psychology and lost words like "trees" and "homies" was so beneath the regular writing quality its kinda sad. Watching Lisa act like a space marine was a joke to her real acting abilities. I hope the cast had fun because the viewers were probably annoyed. Aside from the novelty this is an episode which could be avoided and you would never miss it.
Penn & Teller: Bullshit!: Obesity (2007)
Why no names for the naked chicks at the end?
First episode I ever watched. Its available on Netflix Streaming. I liked parts of it, but they didn't go nearly deep enough into all the health problems fat people have. They spent most of the episode talking about the definition of obesity and showing their pointless Olympics. The title of the show is appropriate, since I cant tell if they are any more reliable than any other group. Have since been told they already admitted to being full of crap and just use this as an excuse for entertainment. Which just fine by me.
MY beef with this particular episode is no names on the cast list for the hot bimbos shown at the end of the episode. I wanna know where else to look for these high quality babes.
Tight Spot (1996)
Rotten, even for what its supposed to be.
This is just a porno, and its not very good. It is made entirely with porn stars using porno crewmembers and sets. The script is typical of porns that try to have a plot and fail. The only reason it gets a mention on IMDb is there's an edited version which you may find in your local video rental joint or on Netflix. The R-rated version is totally pointless, because the video and audio still stink and there is no full nudity or sex. This is such poor quality its not even suitable for a late-night Cinimax viewing. There are much better B-movies and Pornos-With-Plots available. Tight Spot doesn't even qualify as B-movie material because the production values are so poor. The unedited version is some of the lamest porn available from the mid-90's.
They should have just continued the mini-series.
I know a lot of purists complained the first two mini-series were not very true to the original books. But thats fine. They were made for TV, not reading, and they were entertaining. The third mini-series is closer to the book but thats the problem. Its not the book. And its not entertaining. They should have just continued the story they told in the first two movies, even if it wasn't accurate to the book. It was made too many years later and it seems to have suffered. None of the characters is quite as interesting as before, though that could owe to the actors having moved on and done other work for so long they couldn't find their motivation. The story may have been good but was told so poorly it just feels bland. Ashtons plot with the piano dealer wasn't all that interesting and was poorly told anyway. The only good part is where she shoots her way out of the brothel. Charles plot was pretty good in some parts. The Indian fighting wasn't all that great, but his love interest and sons kidnapping had some excitement. The actor playing him did a much worse job than the fellow from the first two movies. Bent was not nearly as interesting as before. Yes, he had a good story but the movie just didn't make it interesting enough. Brett was thrown in sort of haphazardly, probably just to give the actress the feeling that she was missed. They could have dumped her entirely and sped up the story. The romance between George and Madeline was alright but never seemed that epic or important. I never cared that much one way or the other about Cooper. Shame because his character was interesting in the book and Robert Wagner is a good actor. Stanly and Isabels contribution was minimal to the movie even though they were supposed to be very important to the plot.
Overall: Weak. It could have & should have been so much better. They probably should have continued to ignore the details in the books and just made a good movie. Then fans would have two high-quality versions of the story: The book version and the TV version.