And did anyone notice there are NO WOMEN who tell stories in Vernon, (except the wife at the end)? Why is this? Was the filmmaker only trying to make a movie about old men? Or did the women of Vernon have boring stories to tell? I suppose this could be compared to a folklore collection. The rural folks, telling their stories, with or without a point. I love reading rural folklore because it often seems abstract, simple and enlightening at the same time. Even if you didn't live in that time period or under those circumstances, you can relate it to your life. I am sure I would have loved to talk to these old men about their lives. I could have easily sat at the bench with the opossum/turtle guy for hours hearing his stories. I would have been touched to ride on the boat with the man who talked about God, and he probably would have made some good points. It's not a big deal.
Yes, he cracked me up when he said "I was the only person he knew that knows what to do with a opossum!" and then he held it by the tail and watched it try to walk away, and nothing else. Yes, I laughed when the preacher talked about the word "therefore" forever because it seemed sort of pointless. But, I am just thinking - so what? What's new? Also, what is the filmmaker trying to prove here? am I supposed to be laughing? There are people like this everywhere, and there always has been. Pick up any oral folklore book and you will find this film isn't an idea worth calling "brilliant".
Go outside, talk to people. There are folks like this everywhere. Not just in Vernon, Florida. Maybe the reason people like it so much is that it captures this kind of personality in a raw and visual way. But you could do the same thing if you went outside your city limits and had some conversations with strangers. These people aren't freaks, they aren't even that weird, comparatively. They live their lives and they are happy, for the most part. Isn't that what everyone wants? I just don't think it's that weird and wacky. It's life.
I don't get it. Also, I would have liked to see more women in Vernon. 5/10.
There is also a cute old man who claims a mystery person from Ireland mailed him some "chlorophyl pills" that are taken to make a man's beard turn green! Another man, who won 3rd place in the contest last year, already has a place saved on his wall for the 1st and 2nd place plaques, one of which he plans confidently on winning.
Each man has his pride and special rituals about growing his own beard. Like mixing toothpaste into his shaving cream and putting it in the microwave.
I highly recommend this movie to anyone with a sense of humor and to anyone who knows or is a hairy guy or a guy with a beard.
Also, I might add that the 72oz steak 10 minute short on the DVD is worth watching. It's about the contest they have at the Big Texan restaurant in Amarillo, TX, where if you eat the whole thing plus your dinner roll, potato, shrimp cocktail and some other stuff, you get your meal free and your name goes on the wall of fame. If not, you pay $50. It's pretty hilarious and it might even make you never want to eat again!
Even though this movie is predictable, I give it credit for slightly going against the grain and portraying a killer who doesn't just want to kill beautiful women. He would rather kill the men who touch them. That is why this movie stands out to me.
This movie deals with racism in a shocking and unbelievable way. The white characters act very strangely, in my opinion, when they see a black man purposely killed by white racist cops. They also act strangely when they see a baby being born in a van. The priest also reacts rather rudely when someone claims to be in love with him. I think I would have cared a lot more about what was going on and thought things out better than these characters, but the crazy way they act just makes the movie more interesting.
There are some odd plot twists and things are not explained very well at some parts. It seems like the creators just wanted to cram as much crazy stuff into the movie as they could, which is why it seems unbelievable. But to me, the unrealistic nature of events in the film make me love it even more. I am entertained by the idea that a priest gets slipped some LSD by some apathetic kids, or by the idea that a woman in labor would be sitting on the side of the road in the middle of the desert. It's a story that takes a stab at being deep and socially commentary but really ends up confusing you in a fun, drugged out way.
You get to see a zombie dad drive a car with paint on his face. He also somehow manages to get his body underneath the sand on the beach and come up under people who are laying on blankets and strangle them. You can shoot him and he doesn't die. He doesn't talk either.
Whatever the twins' little muscles can't do, they get their zombie dad to do, like dig his own grave, or fight people. Technically, they should be able to do anything because they can move things by just thinking about it. But I guess it would be pretty fun to have a zombie slave that loves you.
If you have a combination of a zombie slave and powers that enable to move things without thinking, then really, you never have to move at all and you can be very lazy! You can even play Atari without touching the joysticks! You can also "think speak" to people so you never have to talk again! I think this laziness affected their facial muscles, however, because they never use facial expressions at all. Just blank stares. Hilariously blank stares. Their dad was just a regular a zombie, but these kids could have been luxury zombies. Never move, never talk, just sit and stare and the world is at your command.
3/10 because of the music, lighting and unintentional humor.
This movie has some really great moments. In particular, the drowning scene, the hunting scene, the fighting scene where Jessica gets knocked out, the drag costume, etc etc! All are pretty original and pretty hilarious when you think about it.
Why they needed the drowning scene to be in slow motion, I'll never know. And the idea of dressing an alien man up in drag, getting him drunk and playing hide and seek with him cracks me up.
Jo was such a drama queen, like when the chickens got killed, when she missed the shot at the fox, when she is yelling at Jessica or running out of the house, she is always freaking out so majorly, it's great! Such an unassuming body/face, and such a huge character.
I liked this movie a lot, it's worth checking out.
Don't tell me you didn't think it was funny when those guys interrupted a little boys' game of softball and pretended to beat them up. All they did was hold the kids upside down and tickle them. Everyone does that with kids. And hosing somebody down isn't what I would call "horrific" violence. And don't tell me you haven't fantasized about taking a paint can or a bucket of soapy water and dumping it over some innocent bystander's head! I think if I could commit crimes for one solid day and never ever have to face the consequences, I would do all the things the kids did in this movie (aside from what I mentioned in the second sentence). Wouldn't you like to just go into some well-furnished room and rip everything apart wildly, painting on the walls and yourself, pulling apart tables and chairs and bashing things with dull axes? Wouldn't you like to destroy a bicycle and not have to worry about replacing it? What about a crappy old boat? I know I would!
This movie lets you live vicariously through a middle class teen gang. All the rules society places on you about safety, obedience, respect, vandalism, etc etc, get broken! And it feels good! It makes you laugh. You wish you could be in this film.
There is a plot, but the film's shining moments are these pointless acts of low violence. You can sometimes see the actor's smiling while acting these out. It just looked so FUN. And, from my perspective, those 60's boys are the best lookin'. Enjoy this film. I did!
Otherwise, the film was just sort of interesting. I always like hearing the silly voice-overs. They never sound like what you think the actor/actress would sound like in real life. I liked the bright colors worn by the princesses. The shots of weird looking bugs were cool too. The youngest princess looked REALLY young, almost 14 or something. The fight scenes were not as long and boring as most fight scenes, so that was good.
I also thought it was extremely unrealistic. How they get away with stealing so many cars (and a semi truck!) is beyond me. And how they capture and tame a wild wolf is pure fantasy. Also, when the white boys bring the Navajo girl back to her family, they get scalped. Well, their hair gets cut off with a knife. I really doubt that would happen.
It's a pure fantasy movie. I guess it's about causing trouble and getting away with it. I did not like it at all.
Anyway, this movie creeped me out. Maybe it seemed too real. I hated it.
Yes, the male leads are awful. So are the female ones. This is one bad case of gender stereotyping - it's so bad! Everything they say revolves around being a male or a female, just playing up the stereotypes to the max. Makes me sick. Soooo boring!!!
The children were so echoey in their lines, you couldn't understand them. And why do female ghost children always wear cute little bows in their hair, pretty blue dresses and long hair? And ghost boys always wear clean cut slacks with cute little shiny blond hair? Not scary - STUPID.
Daddy's face was way too blemish free and clean to be that of a man living in a cave. Nice beard and bangs, pa. Did you perfectly cut those with a knife yourself or did you stroll into town and go to the salon?
The character of Luddy was unique, as well. She had an eerie presence to her, probably because of all the eye makeup she was in. Her character gave the movie more intrigue because you don't really understand what her purpose is. The young Luddy was interesting looking with her bad eye. I wonder why they didn't incorporate the bad eye into the older Luddy..??
I even liked Buffy and her line, "That's a big incompatibility between us because I could NEVER imagine drinking a martini without an olive!!" This is the angriest we see her, and it does a great job showing her optimistic, happy-go-lucky spirit amongst the white, spoiled, snobby people she's with. The disgusted glare she gets from Delilah when she puffs on a cigar was one of my favorite parts.
Even the characters of Grace and Marshall were well acted and unique. And Robert Gentry is pretty hot!
The acting and interesting characters make this movie more of drama than a horror. HOWEVER, these immensely gory scenes seem to come out of nowhere just to shake you up. I like this style! It's like a classy AND campy horror movie. Not that pure white-bred, rich, plantation owners in the south are really classy, but it gives you that illusion, anyway.
Rent this if you want to see a horror movie that strays from the usual b-horror path.
My favorite, however, is the first one with the diving ghost guy. I love how all the people who ever died in the pool are there. I never thought I'd see a horror movie about a guy who died in a diving accident. It was so odd that it made me smile the entire time.
This film is made exciting by creative and original stories. I love the story about the newsman who ends up being a vampire. It makes sense that a newsman would be a vampire because he only works at night! And the rebelious little kids in the woods are great, they have the best lines.
Truly creative stories with a campy/humorous side. This movie is a keeper.
This movie has some kind of plot that involves people running away from things and hiding in caves. And lots of painting and posing. It's pretty boring.
Then, just when you think this movie is the ultimate boring movie of the century, the last 2 minutes prove that the writers were actually active thinkers. They had to come up with a creative way to end it! And boy, was it imaginative! It made absolutely no sense and involved the supernatural when the rest of the movie was set in real life. More of a random ending than Happy Birthday To Me. What a joke!
A boring, boring movie with lame characters. 2/10
This guy reminds me of the kid in philosophy or English class that writes poetry, wears a black trench coat, listens to Nine Inch Nails, meditates and think he knows the answer to the universe and anyone who questions him gets a condescending laugh and added to his list of people who "just don't get it". And he probably collected swords or does karate or something. If you are like this, you might like this movie. MIGHT.
All in all, I thought "Joe" was kind of hot. And it was cool how they switched dimensions near the end and dealt with human afterlife. I thought it was neat how they decided what it was like when you're about to die. They did a good job making it believable. Well, everything except that giant gorilla suited beast man who the dark angel sent to the hospital to scare Joe. What the heck was that? That came out of nowhere!
Oh, and the blood at the beginning looks like BBQ sauce.
And whoever said the porn element was a bit much was right. Those scenes lasted way too long!
Not the best videotaped movie I've seen, but it was ok.
Poorly edited and acted, but full of manly renaissance festival mullets and beer gutted heavy handed sword fights! The only semi-decent acting was by the detective lady, and even then, it wasn't very impressive.
So the plot is something like this - a theater group called Countess Productions has been taking in actresses off the streets of Hollywood and using them in their S&M "art" films. Then, they turn the ladies into vampires and have crazy orgy parties and other vampire stuff like that. This werewolf guy (who just says he's a werewolf but never actually turns into one. However, he gets it on with a girl in one scene and we see he is hairy enough as it is and probably wouldn't need a costume anyway!) and some police detectives are investigating unsolved murders and going to these parties and talking to the film directors about what's going on. They drink blood, have sex, sword fight and argue and that's about it. It's kind of amusing to me. I think the cast is full of Dungeons & Dragon guys and strippers.
There is one major goof that I saw, and I'm not good at picking these out, so it was REALLY obvious. At the beginning, the girl going for the audition is aimlessly walking around calling, "hello? anyone here?" over and over. She checks rooms and doors in the hallway and says, "no one's here. where is everybody?" Well, she flings open a door and you can see a mirror in the room that fully shows about 4 guys standing there talking and pointing at stuff. She shuts the door and says, "nobody's here!" It's a hugely obvious mistake and I watched it a few times because I couldn't believe they'd leave it in.
Anyway, I found this movie amusing and you might too.
I am a sucker for horror comedies, however. Some people don't like these types of movies, which is understandable. But I eat them up like nachos. I love them. Hideous is the ultimate horror comedy. It's up there with Blood Diner, Blood Hook, Motel Hell, Sleepaway Camp and probably a bunch of Troma movies.
The acting is great. I love Napoleon. He has such a great look, a great face. The two collector men are hysterical! The way they talk to each other and the vocabulary they use cracks me up. They are so serious all the time and make such great facial expressions. I love the one guy's eyebrows!
Yeah, yeah, the gorilla face topless scene is funny, but it's NOT the only good part of the film! Far from! I found this movie highly entertaining, witty, rarely dull and full of surprises and great characters. I WISH it had done better on the rental market because I would totally buy all the action figures!!
LOVE IT! 9/10!
But besides that, the movie works well as an entertaining flick. It's not the best, but it does have its interesting twists and ideas. I wouldn't watch it again, but I wouldn't say it was horrible either. Pretty unmoving.
This film is probably not for people who are bored easily. If you like interesting characters and thinking about what is going on, then you will probably like this. It is not an average horror movie with dumb, horny teens, lots of gore and funny killings. More like a thriller that gets you thinking. But not too hard.
It is an Australian film about a naive and sheltered female hairdresser whose sassy, sexy and strong lady friend convinces to leave her hairdressing career to be a model. This wholesome young woman has just broken up with her boyfriend who drives an ice cream truck called "Mr. Whippy". He is devastated by the break up and stalks her all around the city in his ice cream truck. She does her first photo shoot on a whim for a cologne ad in a magazine topless on a freezing cold beach and suddenly becomes this hot model that everyone wants. She ends up running into some slimy, sleazy characters and because her personality is so immature, she jumps to hasty conclusions and gets pushed around a lot.
The ending has some neat twists that I won't spoil for you. The thing I liked about this movie was that the viewers learn about the boyfriend character mostly by listening to the girl talk about him to other people. When we actually see him, he never seems as bad as she makes him out to be. I like how the movie leads us through the main character's irrational ideas and we are meant to believe that she is thinking correctly.
There are some odd camera movements in this film that are kind of exciting. There is also a comedy "musician" who pops up in two night club scenes. He is really awful and laughable with all his makeup and dumb hijinks.
The soundtrack is interesting, too, because it has one song near the beginning that is actually singing about the main character, "Angela" and how she is not making the right decisions. But no other songs are about the movie. The beginning sequence seems to give away the ending when you watch it, but when the end actually comes, you realize you would have had no idea what actually happened without watching the whole movie.
All in all, not a movie for the easily bored or people who don't like doing character analysis. If you want a late night movie that won't freak you out but is thrilling and somewhat suspenseful, get this one. It is also quite original. 6/10
I really got a lot out of this movie. The father and son relationship was so delicate and touchy, it was very painful to watch the two of them interact. When one person says the wrong thing, it gives the other person the instant opportunity to jump all over them and slam the door in their face. This happens over and over and it's a painful experience. You wanna just grab everyone and say TALK TO EACH OTHER! DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S GOING ON?!??!? AAH!!
The acting was remarkable. Robbie Benson was a genius actor. Ben Gazarra perfected the sensitive, temper prone/irrational, yet hurting and loving father figure. The mother's character was best summed up by her father who said something like, "I've taught her well; when a good man tells her what to do, she listens!" And that's exactly what she did the whole time - listen. She did nothing else. Didn't talk, didn't make any effort to stand up for herself. It was quite a shame.
One last comment about the "he is free man" part. I do not think this man should have gone to jail. If you look at the circumstances, he had no choice. The jury was right in letting him go.
I don't know how anyone can't be moved by this movie. Beware though, this movie is HEAVY. You might cry and you might get sick to your stomach if you're as empathetic as I am. I know I couldn't stop analyzing it for hours after it was over. 9/10.
This movie had good characters. I especially liked Miss Kite and the stranger. Miss Kite looks a lot like a prettier/smarter Tori Spelling and is quite an intriguing and gutsy character. The stranger is so calm and shaman-like, it's very soothing to see him on screen. He almost mesmerizes YOU!
The character Vivian looks a lot like Drew Barrymore. It's funny how female movie stars seem to keep the same basic aesthetics throughout film history - at least in this film.
I liked the English cynicism presented in this film. For example, while two men are arguing, they are offering each other sugar in their tea, or milk, and being ultra polite to each other. More polite than usual. It is funny to see how polite they are to each other while they are discussing how each will screw the other over. It's like the more polite you are to your enemy, the more points you get towards conquering them.
The only downfall to this movie is, as an American, it was rather difficult for me to understand the 1930's British accents. But this has nothing to do with the film and plot itself. Overall is was an quirky and oddly entertaining film that you would probably enjoy!
It was also pretty creepy how they added the Christian memorabilia into the plot. A giant statue of Jesus on the cross or a crying face of Jesus are both really creepy. Much more creepy than a made up Satanic demon or something, which most movies usually use when dealing with the occult. Although, I don't understand what Jesus has to do with the occult, but it still added a lot of overall insanity/craziness. When people have Jesus things all over the place, sometimes you feel like they will act without thinking because Jesus told them to or something. This is the feeling I got from the old camp in the woods.
However, the "devil eye" ouiji board thing didn't seem to fit. They should have kept with the Jesus theme instead of entering Haitian voodoo into it. That seemed to come out of nowhere.
Tom, the character that gets in the snowmobile accident, had a funky look about him. When he has sex with the ladies and they show his snarly face, I thought it was pretty gross and hard to watch. Good job with the ugly faces.
Did anyone notice that nearly every person in this movie has giant, oversized front teeth like rabbits?
The waitress at the bar in the beginning was really life-like and typical. I thought she was a neat character, though a bit over-acted.
I could have done without the old lady voice narrating it. That was too much unneeded cheese. It would have been better without it.
Overall, terrible acting but a good story that keeps you wondering what is going to happen and succeeds in using effective props/sets. And they get an extra point for using real snow.
The title "one got fat" refers to Orv, the hero of the film who is "not a monkey" and knows all about bike safety, unlike the other children who are all killed (!), injured or left behind somehow because of their negligence. See, Orv was the boy carrying everybody's sack lunches in his bike basket to go to the park for a picnic. One all his cycle mates are... removed... he gets everyone's lunch! Hence - "one got fat".
If you watch closely, before each child gets hit by a car or what have you, the mask suddenly grows giant eyeballs that bulge out of their sockets in horror.
So kids, remember:
1) License your bike or you'll be afoot and your shoes will smolder from running alongside your biking friends.
2) Use reflectors and lights, especially when you ride through a highway tunnel. You are liable to get smashed head-on by oncoming traffic in the pitch black!
3) Ride on the right side of the road or you might flip yourself over a car pulling out of a parking space.
4) Keep your mind on riding and watch the traffic signs or you might miss a stop sign and smash into a semi truck that is crossing the road.
5) Use your hand signals or you might get run over.
6) Don't ride on the sidewalk or you might run over a couple of housewives carrying groceries who end up in a tree.
7) Don't ride double or you'll fall down a manhole into the sewer - bike and all!
8) Tune up your bike or your brakes might fail unexpectedly and force you to be squashed by the oncoming steamroller!
If you do all these things, you might also get fat though, because you will be forced to eat the lunches of all your dead or hospitalized friends.