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Date Bait (1960)
8/10
I liked it
17 November 2009
I disagree with the other comment on here. I really enjoyed this film. There are hot car chase scenes, heroin junkies, cute guys (Logan!), crazy gangster power struggles, dumb older brothers, cool music and the greatest awkward wedding night scene I've ever seen in a movie. Perhaps I'm easy to captivate, but I was into the movie the whole time, not bored once! The acting and characters were interesting, too. I loved Frida, who was always playing jokes on her lanky, tolerant boyfriend. Danny Logan just keeps getting crapped on even though he seems to do everything right, and you can't help but cheer him on the whole time. The gangsters are laughably dumb and the heroin junkie Freddy is very entertaining with his obsessive face-covering. I thought it was well directed film and well thought out plot. If you think '50s teen movies are lame, then don't watch this one because it's pretty classic in my book.
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5/10
unsure
2 October 2006
I am not sure what to think about this movie. To me, it was just some people talking about their daily, original thoughts. I know people like this. I might be someone like this one day. I guess I don't see the point in it. I felt like the filmmaker was trying to prove something - but what? I couldn't figure it out.

And did anyone notice there are NO WOMEN who tell stories in Vernon, (except the wife at the end)? Why is this? Was the filmmaker only trying to make a movie about old men? Or did the women of Vernon have boring stories to tell? I suppose this could be compared to a folklore collection. The rural folks, telling their stories, with or without a point. I love reading rural folklore because it often seems abstract, simple and enlightening at the same time. Even if you didn't live in that time period or under those circumstances, you can relate it to your life. I am sure I would have loved to talk to these old men about their lives. I could have easily sat at the bench with the opossum/turtle guy for hours hearing his stories. I would have been touched to ride on the boat with the man who talked about God, and he probably would have made some good points. It's not a big deal.

Yes, he cracked me up when he said "I was the only person he knew that knows what to do with a opossum!" and then he held it by the tail and watched it try to walk away, and nothing else. Yes, I laughed when the preacher talked about the word "therefore" forever because it seemed sort of pointless. But, I am just thinking - so what? What's new? Also, what is the filmmaker trying to prove here? am I supposed to be laughing? There are people like this everywhere, and there always has been. Pick up any oral folklore book and you will find this film isn't an idea worth calling "brilliant".

Go outside, talk to people. There are folks like this everywhere. Not just in Vernon, Florida. Maybe the reason people like it so much is that it captures this kind of personality in a raw and visual way. But you could do the same thing if you went outside your city limits and had some conversations with strangers. These people aren't freaks, they aren't even that weird, comparatively. They live their lives and they are happy, for the most part. Isn't that what everyone wants? I just don't think it's that weird and wacky. It's life.

I don't get it. Also, I would have liked to see more women in Vernon. 5/10.
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10/10
What a fun 30 minutes
25 April 2006
I really enjoyed this lighthearted film about a beard growing contest in Shamrock, Texas. It's entertaining, humorous and unique. You get to see old men try to grow a Donogal beard which they begin on January 1, until St. Patrick's Day. They are then judged for best beard after the St Patrick's Day parade! You also get to see a younger and very hairy man enter the contest to compete with the older men who have been in the contest for years. He is an outsider and first-timer to this contest. He believes he stands a fair chance because of his thick, dark natural hair growth.

There is also a cute old man who claims a mystery person from Ireland mailed him some "chlorophyl pills" that are taken to make a man's beard turn green! Another man, who won 3rd place in the contest last year, already has a place saved on his wall for the 1st and 2nd place plaques, one of which he plans confidently on winning.

Each man has his pride and special rituals about growing his own beard. Like mixing toothpaste into his shaving cream and putting it in the microwave.

I highly recommend this movie to anyone with a sense of humor and to anyone who knows or is a hairy guy or a guy with a beard.

Also, I might add that the 72oz steak 10 minute short on the DVD is worth watching. It's about the contest they have at the Big Texan restaurant in Amarillo, TX, where if you eat the whole thing plus your dinner roll, potato, shrimp cocktail and some other stuff, you get your meal free and your name goes on the wall of fame. If not, you pay $50. It's pretty hilarious and it might even make you never want to eat again!
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4/10
Where does the claw come in?
3 October 2005
I don't know why the creators of this movie gave Matthew a claw hand because he only does two things with it - rip up a painting and kill one person. The other people he kills, he uses a different weapon. For example, a knife. Why would he need a knife if he has a claw hand? Despite the disappointing use of the claw hand, I liked this movie for some reason. One thing I liked about it was how unsexy it was. I know I'm in the minority of horror movie lovers, but I get tired of seeing the same old sexy clichés about male killers wanting to have sex with their victims. Or that women who have sex are bad. This movie's heroine (if you can call her that) was a prostitute and I thought she was likable. The killer doesn't rape her or kill "impure" women, like in so many other horror movies. His aim it to kill the men who touch the women, not the women who touch the men. And as we see, he has real hangups about even kissing a woman. He doesn't want any part in it.

Even though this movie is predictable, I give it credit for slightly going against the grain and portraying a killer who doesn't just want to kill beautiful women. He would rather kill the men who touch them. That is why this movie stands out to me.
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9/10
Great youth movie
2 October 2005
I love movies like this. It reminded me of The Young Graduates in that it involves driving and thinking about what to do in life. Sometimes you wonder why the character is acting that way and making such bad decisions, but other times you wish you could be that character, freely driving around in search or yourself.

This movie deals with racism in a shocking and unbelievable way. The white characters act very strangely, in my opinion, when they see a black man purposely killed by white racist cops. They also act strangely when they see a baby being born in a van. The priest also reacts rather rudely when someone claims to be in love with him. I think I would have cared a lot more about what was going on and thought things out better than these characters, but the crazy way they act just makes the movie more interesting.

There are some odd plot twists and things are not explained very well at some parts. It seems like the creators just wanted to cram as much crazy stuff into the movie as they could, which is why it seems unbelievable. But to me, the unrealistic nature of events in the film make me love it even more. I am entertained by the idea that a priest gets slipped some LSD by some apathetic kids, or by the idea that a woman in labor would be sitting on the side of the road in the middle of the desert. It's a story that takes a stab at being deep and socially commentary but really ends up confusing you in a fun, drugged out way.
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3/10
Entertaining, at most
9 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This is the only film where you will see two seemingly innocent twin kids order their own father, whom they love, to dig his own grave because they are too wimpy to use the shovel themselves. They also order their father to kill and harass people who do them wrong, like the two surfer dudes who purposely kick over the boy twin's sand castle. Or the "bad people" who witness their father's murder but didn't actually kill him. Or the landlord that hates little kids.

You get to see a zombie dad drive a car with paint on his face. He also somehow manages to get his body underneath the sand on the beach and come up under people who are laying on blankets and strangle them. You can shoot him and he doesn't die. He doesn't talk either.

Whatever the twins' little muscles can't do, they get their zombie dad to do, like dig his own grave, or fight people. Technically, they should be able to do anything because they can move things by just thinking about it. But I guess it would be pretty fun to have a zombie slave that loves you.

If you have a combination of a zombie slave and powers that enable to move things without thinking, then really, you never have to move at all and you can be very lazy! You can even play Atari without touching the joysticks! You can also "think speak" to people so you never have to talk again! I think this laziness affected their facial muscles, however, because they never use facial expressions at all. Just blank stares. Hilariously blank stares. Their dad was just a regular a zombie, but these kids could have been luxury zombies. Never move, never talk, just sit and stare and the world is at your command.
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3/10
Unique but predictable
6 January 2005
Everyone else's reviews on here pretty much say what I would say, however, I wanted to add that that music score is quite impressive. I usually don't listen to the music in a film unless it strikes me and this one stuck me as being more than just boring background music. Also, the lighting they used really gave the movie a unique feel. It seemed like everyone was lit up brightly with a light right in their face. It added much needed color to the film. Without the color and music, this movie would have been very drab. Also, the "horror" nature of this film focuses on rape more than anything gory or gross. The rape scene with the maid was too much for me to watch, I had to close my eyes. It seemed to go on forever. Quite unsettling and distasteful. And the ape suit guy was hilarious. Very far from the "superior race" of people the doctor thought he was creating. It seemed like just a dumb ape to me.

3/10 because of the music, lighting and unintentional humor.
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Prey (1977)
5/10
very entertaining
22 December 2004
I laughed a lot near the end of this movie. I thought the character of Jo just got funnier and funnier the more jealous she became.

This movie has some really great moments. In particular, the drowning scene, the hunting scene, the fighting scene where Jessica gets knocked out, the drag costume, etc etc! All are pretty original and pretty hilarious when you think about it.

Why they needed the drowning scene to be in slow motion, I'll never know. And the idea of dressing an alien man up in drag, getting him drunk and playing hide and seek with him cracks me up.

Jo was such a drama queen, like when the chickens got killed, when she missed the shot at the fox, when she is yelling at Jessica or running out of the house, she is always freaking out so majorly, it's great! Such an unassuming body/face, and such a huge character.

I liked this movie a lot, it's worth checking out.
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8/10
watch it for the hell of it
13 December 2004
I loved this movie. Aside from the raping women, attacking guys on crutches and tormenting blind people, the pranks in this movie were harmless and hilarious.

Don't tell me you didn't think it was funny when those guys interrupted a little boys' game of softball and pretended to beat them up. All they did was hold the kids upside down and tickle them. Everyone does that with kids. And hosing somebody down isn't what I would call "horrific" violence. And don't tell me you haven't fantasized about taking a paint can or a bucket of soapy water and dumping it over some innocent bystander's head! I think if I could commit crimes for one solid day and never ever have to face the consequences, I would do all the things the kids did in this movie (aside from what I mentioned in the second sentence). Wouldn't you like to just go into some well-furnished room and rip everything apart wildly, painting on the walls and yourself, pulling apart tables and chairs and bashing things with dull axes? Wouldn't you like to destroy a bicycle and not have to worry about replacing it? What about a crappy old boat? I know I would!

This movie lets you live vicariously through a middle class teen gang. All the rules society places on you about safety, obedience, respect, vandalism, etc etc, get broken! And it feels good! It makes you laugh. You wish you could be in this film.

There is a plot, but the film's shining moments are these pointless acts of low violence. You can sometimes see the actor's smiling while acting these out. It just looked so FUN. And, from my perspective, those 60's boys are the best lookin'. Enjoy this film. I did!
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Succubare (1981)
3/10
nothing big
13 December 2004
The animal-eating (geek) scenes were not as bad as you would think. After having watched Mondo Cane and Mondo Magic, these scenes are average. The grossest one was when the guy ate the head off the mouse. But they were so fast and few that they didn't bother me.

Otherwise, the film was just sort of interesting. I always like hearing the silly voice-overs. They never sound like what you think the actor/actress would sound like in real life. I liked the bright colors worn by the princesses. The shots of weird looking bugs were cool too. The youngest princess looked REALLY young, almost 14 or something. The fight scenes were not as long and boring as most fight scenes, so that was good.

3/10.
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2/10
boring
27 October 2004
I did not like this movie at all. Halfway into it I realize that I couldn't give a hoot about any of the obnoxious characters. They're stupid people. They do dumb things. They don't deserve me to like them.

I also thought it was extremely unrealistic. How they get away with stealing so many cars (and a semi truck!) is beyond me. And how they capture and tame a wild wolf is pure fantasy. Also, when the white boys bring the Navajo girl back to her family, they get scalped. Well, their hair gets cut off with a knife. I really doubt that would happen.

It's a pure fantasy movie. I guess it's about causing trouble and getting away with it. I did not like it at all.
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2/10
scummy
30 August 2004
This is more like a look into a perverted misogynist's head. It was creepy to me as a woman, especially since numerous films like this exist (Night After Night After Night, Terror on Tour, Pieces, Shadows Run Black and many many others). Too many films are about psychopaths obsessed with women's "purity" it makes you wonder. Why do people care so much? And why is it constantly shown in movies that virgins are better women? Why do non-virgins deserve to die? What goes on in the minds of writers of this main theme? The acting was decent. The story was awful.

Anyway, this movie creeped me out. Maybe it seemed too real. I hated it.

1/10
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The Forest (1982)
3/10
one terrible Soundtrack, anyone?
6 August 2004
I agree with everything people said on this one but I must add that the soundtrack is probably the WORST one I have ever heard my entire life! There are actual vocals during times when you are supposed to be listening to the actors talk! And the vocals are like a broadway version of Danzig singing, "The darkness of the forest! Oh the darkness of the dark, dark forest!" or something else so unthreatening. The singer has a terrible vibrato and has been recorded with a treble-y microphone over some synthed-up string section and fake drum beats. It's horrible!!

Yes, the male leads are awful. So are the female ones. This is one bad case of gender stereotyping - it's so bad! Everything they say revolves around being a male or a female, just playing up the stereotypes to the max. Makes me sick. Soooo boring!!!

The children were so echoey in their lines, you couldn't understand them. And why do female ghost children always wear cute little bows in their hair, pretty blue dresses and long hair? And ghost boys always wear clean cut slacks with cute little shiny blond hair? Not scary - STUPID.

Daddy's face was way too blemish free and clean to be that of a man living in a cave. Nice beard and bangs, pa. Did you perfectly cut those with a knife yourself or did you stroll into town and go to the salon?

Stupid movie.
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5/10
Drama with gore = classy and campy at the same time
6 August 2004
I thought the acting in this movie was great. Much better than your normal B-horror movies. Moorehead had a full sculpted character with perfect facial expressions, southern accent and dry, humorless yet honest remarks. I couldn't decide if I liked her or hated her, which is probably what she was trying to do.

The character of Luddy was unique, as well. She had an eerie presence to her, probably because of all the eye makeup she was in. Her character gave the movie more intrigue because you don't really understand what her purpose is. The young Luddy was interesting looking with her bad eye. I wonder why they didn't incorporate the bad eye into the older Luddy..??

I even liked Buffy and her line, "That's a big incompatibility between us because I could NEVER imagine drinking a martini without an olive!!" This is the angriest we see her, and it does a great job showing her optimistic, happy-go-lucky spirit amongst the white, spoiled, snobby people she's with. The disgusted glare she gets from Delilah when she puffs on a cigar was one of my favorite parts.

Even the characters of Grace and Marshall were well acted and unique. And Robert Gentry is pretty hot!

The acting and interesting characters make this movie more of drama than a horror. HOWEVER, these immensely gory scenes seem to come out of nowhere just to shake you up. I like this style! It's like a classy AND campy horror movie. Not that pure white-bred, rich, plantation owners in the south are really classy, but it gives you that illusion, anyway.

Rent this if you want to see a horror movie that strays from the usual b-horror path.
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Chillers (1987)
6/10
FUN and entertaining
4 August 2004
Quite enjoyable and never dull. I like the fact that this movie has a bunch of little movies in it so that it never gets boring. All the little movies are good, none of them suck.

My favorite, however, is the first one with the diving ghost guy. I love how all the people who ever died in the pool are there. I never thought I'd see a horror movie about a guy who died in a diving accident. It was so odd that it made me smile the entire time.

This film is made exciting by creative and original stories. I love the story about the newsman who ends up being a vampire. It makes sense that a newsman would be a vampire because he only works at night! And the rebelious little kids in the woods are great, they have the best lines.

Truly creative stories with a campy/humorous side. This movie is a keeper.
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2/10
Ending came out of nowhere
5 July 2004
A sexist old man of an artist thinks he can get any woman he wants to pose for his oh-so-wonderful paintings of "beauty" - but when he meets a woman who doesn't give hoot about posing for him, he gets a little self-conscious and stalks her until she gives in. After all, who WOULDN'T want to get taken advantage of and boringly painted by some dirty old man out in the middle of nowhere?? His wife used to pose for him but <gasp!> she grew OLD and now she's a dolly-carrying freakazoid stuck in infantile regression because of his verbal abuse. Nice way to treat your wife's natural aging process, jerk. This guy is so lame, not to mention he states clearly that the only thing woman are good for is to look at and be painted by beauty expert men like himself. Get a life. I guess he makes a good bad guy because I sure thought he was an idiot.

This movie has some kind of plot that involves people running away from things and hiding in caves. And lots of painting and posing. It's pretty boring.

Then, just when you think this movie is the ultimate boring movie of the century, the last 2 minutes prove that the writers were actually active thinkers. They had to come up with a creative way to end it! And boy, was it imaginative! It made absolutely no sense and involved the supernatural when the rest of the movie was set in real life. More of a random ending than Happy Birthday To Me. What a joke!

A boring, boring movie with lame characters. 2/10
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2/10
not very good
28 June 2004
This movie has a lot of talking. Some scenes seem to go on forever as you get to hear the goutee'd "dark angel" guy spouting off all his philosophies on life and death. "Life is like a rushing river. You can either stand on the shore and watch it go by or you can jump in". Oh yes, many lines like this abound in this video-taped movie.

This guy reminds me of the kid in philosophy or English class that writes poetry, wears a black trench coat, listens to Nine Inch Nails, meditates and think he knows the answer to the universe and anyone who questions him gets a condescending laugh and added to his list of people who "just don't get it". And he probably collected swords or does karate or something. If you are like this, you might like this movie. MIGHT.

All in all, I thought "Joe" was kind of hot. And it was cool how they switched dimensions near the end and dealt with human afterlife. I thought it was neat how they decided what it was like when you're about to die. They did a good job making it believable. Well, everything except that giant gorilla suited beast man who the dark angel sent to the hospital to scare Joe. What the heck was that? That came out of nowhere!

Oh, and the blood at the beginning looks like BBQ sauce.

And whoever said the porn element was a bit much was right. Those scenes lasted way too long!

Not the best videotaped movie I've seen, but it was ok.

2/10
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Bloodbath (1999)
2/10
cheezy community center weekend trip
28 June 2004
I think this videotaped movie was made in a community center where they have little kids' acting classes and clown classes and stuff. What a boring set! I was half expecting there to be ballet class in the next room!

Poorly edited and acted, but full of manly renaissance festival mullets and beer gutted heavy handed sword fights! The only semi-decent acting was by the detective lady, and even then, it wasn't very impressive.

So the plot is something like this - a theater group called Countess Productions has been taking in actresses off the streets of Hollywood and using them in their S&M "art" films. Then, they turn the ladies into vampires and have crazy orgy parties and other vampire stuff like that. This werewolf guy (who just says he's a werewolf but never actually turns into one. However, he gets it on with a girl in one scene and we see he is hairy enough as it is and probably wouldn't need a costume anyway!) and some police detectives are investigating unsolved murders and going to these parties and talking to the film directors about what's going on. They drink blood, have sex, sword fight and argue and that's about it. It's kind of amusing to me. I think the cast is full of Dungeons & Dragon guys and strippers.

There is one major goof that I saw, and I'm not good at picking these out, so it was REALLY obvious. At the beginning, the girl going for the audition is aimlessly walking around calling, "hello? anyone here?" over and over. She checks rooms and doors in the hallway and says, "no one's here. where is everybody?" Well, she flings open a door and you can see a mirror in the room that fully shows about 4 guys standing there talking and pointing at stuff. She shuts the door and says, "nobody's here!" It's a hugely obvious mistake and I watched it a few times because I couldn't believe they'd leave it in.

Anyway, I found this movie amusing and you might too.
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Hideous! (1997)
9/10
good lord, this movie is NOT THAT BAD! it's GREAT!
11 May 2004
PEOPLE! Get off your high horse and realize this movie rocks harder than any other "horror" movie from the 90's. (face it, 90's horror movies BLOW) It's better than Dead Hate the Living, better than all the Puppet Masters, better than any of those!! Hideous is an AWESOME movie and I could watch it over and over.

I am a sucker for horror comedies, however. Some people don't like these types of movies, which is understandable. But I eat them up like nachos. I love them. Hideous is the ultimate horror comedy. It's up there with Blood Diner, Blood Hook, Motel Hell, Sleepaway Camp and probably a bunch of Troma movies.

The acting is great. I love Napoleon. He has such a great look, a great face. The two collector men are hysterical! The way they talk to each other and the vocabulary they use cracks me up. They are so serious all the time and make such great facial expressions. I love the one guy's eyebrows!

Yeah, yeah, the gorilla face topless scene is funny, but it's NOT the only good part of the film! Far from! I found this movie highly entertaining, witty, rarely dull and full of surprises and great characters. I WISH it had done better on the rental market because I would totally buy all the action figures!!

LOVE IT! 9/10!
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Pieces (1982)
3/10
Common theme in horror movies
11 May 2004
What's with the common theme in horror movies to punish promiscuous women? Look at Terror On Tour, Shadows Run Black, Night After Night After Night (He Kills), and now Pieces. There are probably dozens of others I am forgetting. This is a worn out theme. It's an excuse to see boobs and an excuse to be misogynistic with some kind of "reasoning". There are a crazy amount of horror movies that solely have women as victims and it just makes you think...

But besides that, the movie works well as an entertaining flick. It's not the best, but it does have its interesting twists and ideas. I wouldn't watch it again, but I wouldn't say it was horrible either. Pretty unmoving.
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6/10
Good twists
7 May 2004
First of all, let me say that I bought this movie with the title on the box reading "The Night after Halloween". When the opening credits came on, it said, "The Day after Halloween". And when I was done with the movie, I realized that it spans over what seems to be a month and involves nothing about Halloween, October or anything remotely connected to the holiday. Why not just stick with the appropriate title "Snapshot"? whatever...

This film is probably not for people who are bored easily. If you like interesting characters and thinking about what is going on, then you will probably like this. It is not an average horror movie with dumb, horny teens, lots of gore and funny killings. More like a thriller that gets you thinking. But not too hard.

It is an Australian film about a naive and sheltered female hairdresser whose sassy, sexy and strong lady friend convinces to leave her hairdressing career to be a model. This wholesome young woman has just broken up with her boyfriend who drives an ice cream truck called "Mr. Whippy". He is devastated by the break up and stalks her all around the city in his ice cream truck. She does her first photo shoot on a whim for a cologne ad in a magazine topless on a freezing cold beach and suddenly becomes this hot model that everyone wants. She ends up running into some slimy, sleazy characters and because her personality is so immature, she jumps to hasty conclusions and gets pushed around a lot.

The ending has some neat twists that I won't spoil for you. The thing I liked about this movie was that the viewers learn about the boyfriend character mostly by listening to the girl talk about him to other people. When we actually see him, he never seems as bad as she makes him out to be. I like how the movie leads us through the main character's irrational ideas and we are meant to believe that she is thinking correctly.

There are some odd camera movements in this film that are kind of exciting. There is also a comedy "musician" who pops up in two night club scenes. He is really awful and laughable with all his makeup and dumb hijinks.

The soundtrack is interesting, too, because it has one song near the beginning that is actually singing about the main character, "Angela" and how she is not making the right decisions. But no other songs are about the movie. The beginning sequence seems to give away the ending when you watch it, but when the end actually comes, you realize you would have had no idea what actually happened without watching the whole movie.

All in all, not a movie for the easily bored or people who don't like doing character analysis. If you want a late night movie that won't freak you out but is thrilling and somewhat suspenseful, get this one. It is also quite original. 6/10
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The Death of Richie (1977 TV Movie)
9/10
Amazingly good, heavy heavy heavy flick
21 April 2004
I have so many good things to say about this movie, but a lot of people on here have already said them. I will say that after viewing this movie for a second time, I was full of angst and sadness. I cried. I couldn't believe how terribly things worked out for this family. It is SUCH a tragic story and it did not have to end that way at all! What a lesson in life! Every character just kept making one wrong move after another. I couldn't believe how many bad decisions were made by every character. These bad decisions just set off more bad decisions and angered all the wrong people and it just got worse and worse until BANG! Man - what a horrible way to end it. And it didn't have to be that way at all. All it took was for one person - any person in the family! - to let go of their pride for one second and everything could have been saved.

I really got a lot out of this movie. The father and son relationship was so delicate and touchy, it was very painful to watch the two of them interact. When one person says the wrong thing, it gives the other person the instant opportunity to jump all over them and slam the door in their face. This happens over and over and it's a painful experience. You wanna just grab everyone and say TALK TO EACH OTHER! DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S GOING ON?!??!? AAH!!

The acting was remarkable. Robbie Benson was a genius actor. Ben Gazarra perfected the sensitive, temper prone/irrational, yet hurting and loving father figure. The mother's character was best summed up by her father who said something like, "I've taught her well; when a good man tells her what to do, she listens!" And that's exactly what she did the whole time - listen. She did nothing else. Didn't talk, didn't make any effort to stand up for herself. It was quite a shame.

One last comment about the "he is free man" part. I do not think this man should have gone to jail. If you look at the circumstances, he had no choice. The jury was right in letting him go.

I don't know how anyone can't be moved by this movie. Beware though, this movie is HEAVY. You might cry and you might get sick to your stomach if you're as empathetic as I am. I know I couldn't stop analyzing it for hours after it was over. 9/10.
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5/10
Interesting characters, overall entertaining
19 April 2004
This film is about a boarding house in England that rents rooms to a variety of people. One day a tall, older man wishes to rent a room. At first the landlady does not wish to rent the room, but due to his mesmerizing eyes, she allows him to be her tenant. At the beginning, the house he enters is full of selfish, problem-ridden people who are fairly miserable with their lives and can't have any fun. After a few weeks of living and talking individually with this mysterious stranger, they begin to ease up and live their lives more happily. However, a rich, old scrooge (who looks like Hitler minus the moustache) lives in the house, too. He has evil intentions to destroy everything the stranger has mended in the house by tempting the contented tenants with his dirty money.

This movie had good characters. I especially liked Miss Kite and the stranger. Miss Kite looks a lot like a prettier/smarter Tori Spelling and is quite an intriguing and gutsy character. The stranger is so calm and shaman-like, it's very soothing to see him on screen. He almost mesmerizes YOU!

The character Vivian looks a lot like Drew Barrymore. It's funny how female movie stars seem to keep the same basic aesthetics throughout film history - at least in this film.

I liked the English cynicism presented in this film. For example, while two men are arguing, they are offering each other sugar in their tea, or milk, and being ultra polite to each other. More polite than usual. It is funny to see how polite they are to each other while they are discussing how each will screw the other over. It's like the more polite you are to your enemy, the more points you get towards conquering them.

The only downfall to this movie is, as an American, it was rather difficult for me to understand the 1930's British accents. But this has nothing to do with the film and plot itself. Overall is was an quirky and oddly entertaining film that you would probably enjoy!
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3/10
not too shabby
7 April 2004
As far as acting go, this movie was the pits. HOWEVER, the story is slightly original because the characters get around on snowmobiles and are stuck in blizzard-like weather. I am always happy to see snow and freezing, bundled up actors instead of bright sun and greased up, bikini clad actors. There is too much California weather in movies, I must say, so this is a nice change. And you could tell that the snow and northern woods were real and not made up on some California ski slope.

It was also pretty creepy how they added the Christian memorabilia into the plot. A giant statue of Jesus on the cross or a crying face of Jesus are both really creepy. Much more creepy than a made up Satanic demon or something, which most movies usually use when dealing with the occult. Although, I don't understand what Jesus has to do with the occult, but it still added a lot of overall insanity/craziness. When people have Jesus things all over the place, sometimes you feel like they will act without thinking because Jesus told them to or something. This is the feeling I got from the old camp in the woods.

However, the "devil eye" ouiji board thing didn't seem to fit. They should have kept with the Jesus theme instead of entering Haitian voodoo into it. That seemed to come out of nowhere.

Tom, the character that gets in the snowmobile accident, had a funky look about him. When he has sex with the ladies and they show his snarly face, I thought it was pretty gross and hard to watch. Good job with the ugly faces.

Did anyone notice that nearly every person in this movie has giant, oversized front teeth like rabbits?

The waitress at the bar in the beginning was really life-like and typical. I thought she was a neat character, though a bit over-acted.

I could have done without the old lady voice narrating it. That was too much unneeded cheese. It would have been better without it.

Overall, terrible acting but a good story that keeps you wondering what is going to happen and succeeds in using effective props/sets. And they get an extra point for using real snow.
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One Got Fat (1963)
8/10
What a weirdo
1 March 2004
YES, this film is wacko. The kids have weird names like Rooty Toot. Their ape masks look cheap, but where in the world would you find such a great looking monkey mask today without getting skin cancer? That was no ordinary mask!

The title "one got fat" refers to Orv, the hero of the film who is "not a monkey" and knows all about bike safety, unlike the other children who are all killed (!), injured or left behind somehow because of their negligence. See, Orv was the boy carrying everybody's sack lunches in his bike basket to go to the park for a picnic. One all his cycle mates are... removed... he gets everyone's lunch! Hence - "one got fat".

If you watch closely, before each child gets hit by a car or what have you, the mask suddenly grows giant eyeballs that bulge out of their sockets in horror.

So kids, remember:

1) License your bike or you'll be afoot and your shoes will smolder from running alongside your biking friends.

2) Use reflectors and lights, especially when you ride through a highway tunnel. You are liable to get smashed head-on by oncoming traffic in the pitch black!

3) Ride on the right side of the road or you might flip yourself over a car pulling out of a parking space.

4) Keep your mind on riding and watch the traffic signs or you might miss a stop sign and smash into a semi truck that is crossing the road.

5) Use your hand signals or you might get run over.

6) Don't ride on the sidewalk or you might run over a couple of housewives carrying groceries who end up in a tree.

7) Don't ride double or you'll fall down a manhole into the sewer - bike and all!

8) Tune up your bike or your brakes might fail unexpectedly and force you to be squashed by the oncoming steamroller!

If you do all these things, you might also get fat though, because you will be forced to eat the lunches of all your dead or hospitalized friends.
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