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1/10
Should Have Stopped at Part II
21 August 2013
When you look at the acting in this movie, it makes you realize that the first two movies were probably much better acted. Everyone in this movie, including Pat Morita, just ham it up. The worst offender has to be Thomas Ian Griffith, who plays Terry Silver. It looks like he and the actors playing the bad guys took acting lessons from Eric Freeman's performance in SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART II. Eric won that role on account of his good looks, not his acting talent. I think it must have been the same situation regarding Ian Griffith.

Next time you take karate lessons, use copies of the DVD to do your hand-breaking exercises.
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Not as disturbing as I'd thought it'd be
12 September 2011
When I ordered this movie on DVD, I thought to myself "Can I handle this?" Surprisingly, I did. The "stone in vagina" scene I could have done without, as well as the "turtle disembowelment", but overall this movie didn't bother me in the same way that Tinto Brass's CALIGULA did. Robert Kerman, an actor once known for porn movies, does a good job as Professor Monroe, and so does the rest of the cast, including the actor who plays Jack Anders (although he bears a striking resemblance to Chuck Norris). There's also a Louis Gossett Jr. lookalike playing one of the Colombian soldiers. I wonder if Chuck and Louis ever get asked "What was it like filming CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST?", even though they weren't in it.

Worth watching, but only if you have a strong stomach.

It's not rated, but is worthy of an NC-17.
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1/10
As if HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES wasn't horrible enough
10 December 2010
I remember Rob Zombie's band White Zombie were extremely popular when I was in high school. When the band broke up and Rob decided to pursue a directing career, it seems only appropriate because the band's music and image was inspired by horror movies.

I went to see Rob's directing debut, HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES, just out of curiosity. Boy, did I make a big mistake. It was one of the most repulsive pieces of garbage I ever saw! So why did I see THE DEVIL'S REJECTS? I guess my head wasn't on straight. It was just as repulsive as its predecessor. The only good part of it was when William Forsythe captures those creeps and proceeds to torture them slowly, driving nails into their hands and hitting them repeatedly across the face with his gun butt.

Please, God, let this be the last time we see Captain Spaulding on the big screen.
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The Outfit (1993)
5/10
The Casting Isn't Great, But...
18 November 2010
THE OUTFIT will never be considered a gangster classic worthy of standing alongside THE GODFATHER or THE UNTOUCHABLES, but it's worth watching just for fun.

If anyone has seen the 1992 made-for-video Dutch Schultz biopic HIT THE DUTCHMAN, you might recall that Legs Diamond spoke with an Irish accent, but in real-life Diamond was an American who never spoke with an accent. Josh Mosby plays Diamond just right. Also, the real-life Dutch Schultz looked more like the character that James Remar played in THE COTTON CLUB, rather than Lance Henriksen's portrayal. Finally, while Billy Drago was good as Frank Nitti in THE UNTOUCHABLES, he's not as well cast here as Lucky Luciano. While some people may have thought that Billy was Italian in real life, he's actually a Kentucky-born Native American, which explains his slightly darker skin. While the cover of the video shows Billy holding a Thompson submachine gun, he never actually uses a gun in this movie. Also, while the cover of the video lists him as one of the main stars, he actually has a very minor role limited to a few appearances.

I'm just a sucker for gangster movies, so that's why I own it.
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Rent-a-Cop (1987)
7/10
Seems Familiar
22 October 2010
In 1981, Burt Reynolds did a movie called SHARKEY'S MACHINE. He played a cop who is demoted to the vice squad after a shootout with a drug dealer results in several deaths. In RENT-A-COP, he plays a cop who is reduced to working as a security guard when a masked killer botches a drug bust and kills his fellow police officers. In the former movie, Burt watches a hooker, played by Rachel Ward, whom he hopes will help him nab a crimelord. In the latter movie, a hooker, played by Liza Minnelli, joins forces with Burt to track down the killer. Both of these movies co-starred Bernie Casey. The plots of both movies seem familiar, and Liza is not really believable as a hooker, but RENT-A-COP is just one of those Eighties movies that is far more fun to watch on TV rather than the big screen.
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5/10
Mediocre But Worth Watching...Once
28 December 2009
How you can tell this is an Italian zombie movie:

1. In the mansion where the jet-setters are staying, the Italian flag is visible in one of the rooms.

2. The zombies decapitate a maid to use her head for a soccer ball.

3. The mansion where the movie was filmed was once used as a papal retreat.

Things to watch for:

1. The professor who looks like a hippy from Woodstock with his long hair, beard and jeans.

2. Peter Bark...who looks a lot like a miniature Topher Grace.

3. The worst-looking zombie masks...ever!
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Spider-Man 3 (2007)
9/10
Perhaps They Should Have Stopped At Number 2
7 May 2007
I thought "Spider Man 3" was great. However, some of the special effects and acting are rather overblown, especially the scenes where Peter Parker, wearing the black Spidey suit, struts John Travolta-like down the street, occasionally stopping to do the hustle. The special effects used to create Sandman are also a bit much.

To me, a better plot would have to be Peter asking Mary Jane to marry him at the beginning of the movie. Of course, the wedding can't go ahead until he takes care of all the villains, including himself when he's wearing the black suit.

The casting of the villains is perfect. Topher Grace certainly isn't the wet noodle character he used to be on "That 70s Show". Here he exhibits a lot of intensity. The same goes for James Franco and Thomas Haden Church.
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10/10
Forest Whitaker Deserves The Best Actor Oscar
11 February 2007
THE LAST KING OF Scotland is one of the best movies of 2007. Forest Whitaker gives the performance of his career in the role of Idi Amin. James MacAvoy and the rest of the cast are brilliant. It's a classic story. A military general takes power and promises to lead his people and his country to great prosperity, but in the end he's no better than the megalomaniac he deposed in the first place.

MacAvoy's character seems so strong against Whitaker's brutal Amin character, always remaining stoic and brave, even when Amin is enraged and shouting right in his ear.

It's not an easy movie to watch, but it's definitely worth seeing, unless you abhor graphic violence.
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Smokin' Aces (2006)
1/10
Trash With A Capital T
2 February 2007
I expected SMOKIN ACES to be a clever crime film, like Clint Eastwood's THE GAUNTLET. Big mistake! This is like PULP FICTION meets SCARFACE, except that SCARFACE handled its gory violence with care. SMOKIN ACES is just an all-out gorefest (with deaths by chainsaw thrown in for good measure).

Jeremy Piven and the rest of a talented cast (including Andy Garcia and Ben Affleck) are wasted.

If you want to see a better movie about organized crime in Las Vegas (or any other city in Nevada for that matter), rent BUGSY instead.

Throw this one to the dogs!!!
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Epic Movie (2007)
1/10
This Movie Has The Wrong Title
26 January 2007
This movie just stinks. That's all I can say. Kal Penn is the only actor I remember in the cast, and I'm sure he can do better movies than this.

As for the humour in this movie, how did it get by with a PG-13? The MPAA must be falling asleep when they do the classification and they miss all the dirty parts.

Finally, a Superman with a British accent? I don't think so. Superman is as American as apple pie! People who do movies like this really should be put down at birth.

It seems as if the golden age for spoof movies has been over for a long time.
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InHumanoids (1986– )
5/10
Pretty Scary For Kids Back Then
13 December 2006
"Inhumanoids" was pretty cool back in 1986 but would probably look dated now. The Decompose character and his powers of controlling the undead kinda scared the (expletive) out of me back then and I wondered if this was really supposed to be aimed at kids. I think I'd be able to handle it now, but whenever he touched a live person and turned them into a zombie, you would hear this weird womanly wail and it would send chills up my spine! And I thought Lucio Fulci's zombie movies were scary!

I don't think I'd get this show on DVD. If Decompose did exist, I have a long list of annoying celebrities I'd be glad to give him!
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Danger Mouse (1981–1992)
8/10
Danger Mouse Beats Austin Powers Hands Down!!!
29 October 2006
For such a small fellow, Danger Mouse is certainly smart and knows how to accomplish a mission! It's too bad he has that annoying sidekick Penfold and that chattering narrator to make things difficult for him. Next time he takes Penfold on a mission he should let Baron Greenback take Penfold prisoner and then he can do all his missions solo. Besides, Penfold is just comic relief. Danger Mouse is the brains and backbone of that team! Finally, someone should provide subtitles for Colonel K. His British accent is so heavy that it's sometimes hard to understand what he's saying.

I liked the episodes where he comes up against Count Duckula. The Duckula on this show is different-looking from the spin-off series that followed.
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1/10
No Classic...Just Crap
18 August 2006
I don't understand why this film has received a cult reputation. It's like watching a homemade snuff film. The only good part was when the parents of one of the slain girls got their revenge on these bastards. Thankfully, Wes Craven would go on to direct better movies after this.

It's interesting that Roger Ebert gave "Caligula" a no-star rating, but he gave this one three-and-a-half stars.

This movie may not be as violent as "Caligula", but it's just as disturbing.

The music score (and the songs) seem totally out of place, and the comedy bits with the two sherriffs don't help matters much.
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Silent Hill (2006)
5/10
Scarier Than "Resident Evil"
25 April 2006
I thought the two "Resident Evil" movies were awful, but "Silent Hill" is a bit better. It has excellent special effects and some truly brutal and gory scenes. If you were unable to play the video game on which the movie was based, watching the movie allows you to see the whole thing from beginning to end without even using a controller! I live near Hamilton, Ontario, and the Grand Hotel exterior is actually a historic building called Lister Block that's sadly fallen into disrepair and is now one of our town eyesores...so it may have to be torn down. I also noticed the city of Brantford in the movie, because one scene was filmed in the building next to the offices of "The Brantford Expositor" newspaper.

All I can say is that Hamilton and Brantford look like friendlier places to live than Silent Hill!
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6/10
Overrated
17 February 2006
While I think "Brokeback Mountain" was well-acted and directed, it's probably one of the most over-hyped movies of 2005. The subject matter could have been handled in a more delicate manner. For example, the opening sex scene in the tent between Heath Ledger and Jake Gylenhaal could have been displayed with a shot of the tent exterior and the camera slowly drawing back from the tent while the audience hears the sounds of sex coming from inside the tent. Today, however, Hollywood feels that everything involving a sexual and violent nature must be displayed graphically.

I cannot feel any sympathy for Ledger's character. Not only does he feel it is appropriate for him and Gylenhaal to publicly display their homosexuality in front of Ledger's wife and children, but whenever he and Gylenhaal experience a disturbance in their relationship, he responds by berating his wife and threatening her with a beating.

To me, this is just another gay-friendly movie with a twist. If it wins for Best Picture at the Oscars, it will prove that enough audiences and critics have been fooled yet again by the "Hollywood Hype".
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Capone's Boys (2002)
2/10
Cheap "Scarface" Ripoff
6 February 2006
"Capone's Boys" follows the same plot as 1983's "Scarface". Immigrants from a foreign country come to America to live out "the American dream" and instead are drawn into organized crime.

The only difference is that "Scarface" was much better than this turkey. The DVD cover shows Capone carrying a tommygun, but there are no blazing machine guns in this movie from what I saw! It just seems to be mostly talk and sex scenes.

This movie should have been much better.

Definitely one of those times you should rent "The Untouchables" instead.
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7/10
Tame By Today's Standards
6 February 2006
"City Of The Living Dead" (aka "The Gates Of Hell") was a pretty shocking movie when it was first released, but if you compared it to the hit 2005 film "Hostel", it may look rather tame now.

While I don't recommend this movie for anyone under 17, it's pretty easy now to sit through most of the gory scenes without losing your lunch.

I certainly felt that the actor who played the young boy in this movie has a much better voice than the kid in "House By The Cemetery", because the kid in that movie was voiced by a girl, making it the worst boy voice I've ever heard! As for the gates of Hell, I don't think they can ever be opened, because we have no idea where they are!
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1/10
This Movie Has No Bite
27 January 2006
"Vampire In Brooklyn" tried to continue the formula of putting vampire films in modern times. Two movies did that successfully, 1987's "The Lost Boys" and 1996's "From Dusk Till Dawn". "Vampire In Brooklyn", unfortunately, does not do that formula successfully. Eddie Murphy, Angela Bassett, and many other talented performers are wasted. This was a bad step for director Wes Craven, who has directed better movies than this. Murphy is much too smooth and funny to be cast as a vampire, and Bassett is too strong an actress to be cast in the role of a frightened detective.

BURY THIS BOMB!!!
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South Park (1997– )
Still Going Strong
10 December 2005
South Park is still coming up with fresh and funny (depending on your taste) ideas, but please! Get rid of that dumb kid Butters and his stupid, unfeeling parents!!! The only role this kid plays is a patsy for Cartman's crazy moneymaking schemes and his parents are like damn flower children. When Butters screams after having a nightmare, all his father says is "You scream like that again mister, and you are grounded for a year!" What kind of father is he? Instead of killing Kenny in every episode, they oughta kill Butters now!

Another character they should get rid of is Timmy. All he does is sit in his wheelchair and shout "Timmah!" over and over again.
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Pope John Paul II (2005– )
10/10
The Best Pope John Paul II Movie
8 December 2005
2005 has been the "Year of The Pope". There have been three TV movies about John Paul II's life this year. I think this one is the best. The one with Thomas Kreutschmann in the title role was too rushed and it tried to cram Karol Wojtyla's life into only 2 hours. This one goes at a more relaxed pace. Cary Elwes, Jon Voight, Ben Gazzara, James Cromwell, Christopher Lee and the rest of the cast are excellent. Voight adopts a perfect Polish accent when he plays Wojtyla as an older man.

I recommend that all religious teachers throughout the world show this movie to their students, whatever their religion may be. John Paul II reached out to people of all faiths, and he was even the first Pope to welcome a visit by the President of Iran!
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5/10
Typical Cheesy Early Seventies Horror
20 October 2005
"Devil's Nightmare" represents everything that was typical of Italian horror movies. Bad acting, poor dubbing, cinematography that looks like it was developed in a photo lab and beautiful women being murdered. It was perhaps, however, the first Italian horror film to show a lesbian love scene.

If you watch this on DVD, you might find it interesting that while the actors speak in dubbed English, the opening and closing credits are in Italian!

The characters who spend the night at the castle are really stupid. The butler describes to them the murders that took place in each of the rooms, and they still decide to stay!
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1/10
A Sequel That Even Jim Carrey Would Hate
18 August 2005
What can I say? I'm sure most of the reviews on IMDb about this movie are terrible, and I'd like to add my voice to that lot. They should make it a law to stop movie-makers from taking hit Jim Carrey movies and making sequels without Jim that suck.

After doing so many good movies in the 1980s, Bob Hoskins seems to have hit rock-bottom. His performance as Odin can't save this turkey. Ditto Jamie Kennedy (who seems to be doing a poor Jim Carrey imitation) and Alan Cumming (who isn't much of an actor in my opinion). The dog-wearing-the-mask bit was already done in the first film, and the dancing baby singing 1940s swing tunes is an idea that would have been laughed off by the makers of "Ally McBeal".

Did the makers of this movie actually think that a scene where a baby attacks his father with squirting urine would make people laugh? It didn't for me. It made me cringe. Oh, the horror!!! Please just rent the original and avoid this dreck.
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8/10
Acceptable Rock Documentary
12 June 2005
Being a Def Leppard fan since 1992, I found this movie to be quite entertaining. The actors who play Def Leppard do pretty well, and their accents are decent. The only beef I have is with the Sheffield scenes being shot in Montreal. Montreal makes a rather poor substitute for an English city. The cars and buses don't look English either, especially since the drivers' wheel is on the left side of the car! Having the film shot in Sheffield would have been much more convenient. That aside, Def Leppard fans should enjoy this movie. The actor who plays Joe Elliott has a good singing voice, especially when he sings "Ride Into The Sun" and "Bringing On The Heartbreak".

If you live in Toronto, be sure to see them play live at the Molson Amphitheatre on August 15!
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PERHAPS THE BEST PICTURE OF 2004
30 March 2004
The Passion of The Christ has attracted much controversy and negative publicity for its graphic violence and supposed anti-Semitic views. But this is totally undeserved. In Biblical times, a crucifixion was regarded as the most cruel and horrendous of punishments. It was a very slow and extremely painful way to die and before you were nailed to the cross, you were stripped completely naked as the final humiliation.

There are some discrepancies the viewer should be aware of.

1. Jesus is given 100 lashes by the Roman soldiers. The number of lashes permitted was 39 or 40. Forty lashes were considered near-fatal.

2. Pontius Pilate is usually described in the Gospels and movies as a gentle man who was not willing to put an innocent man to death in order to please an angry mob. In reality, Pilate was a barbaric dictator who crucified innocent people for no reason other than suspecting they were plotting to overthrow him.

3. Jesus carries the entire cross to Calvary. He really only carried the crossbeam, like the two robbers who were crucified with him.

A crucifixion was a violent thing, so it's no wonder the scourging and nailing to the cross scenes are very bloody. As for anti-Semitism, there is a scene in the movie where Simon of Cyrene (who helped Jesus to carry the cross) tries to fight off some Roman soldiers who are brutally whipping and kicking a bloodied and near-dead Jesus. What is anti-Semitic about a Jew helping a fellow Jew? At first, Simon is hesitant to carry the cross of a condemned man, but soon realizes that Jesus is an innocent person who is dying for another reason.

When Jesus is placed into his mother's arms after his death, Mary looks straight at the camera. I believe she is saying to the audience with her eyes "Look what my son went through in order to save you."

Mel Gibson did an excellent job of directing, and the mostly Italian cast speaks in Aramaic, Latin and Hebrew very well. Jim Caviezel, as Jesus, gives what might be the performance of his career, and he is, in my opinion, a contender for Best Actor at next year's Oscars.

Although Jesus was at first hesitant to go through all this, he surrendered eventually to God's will and went to his own death without any word of complaint.

When a huge earthquake hits Jerusalem after Jesus's death, the holy temple of the Jewish authorities is almost destroyed, and Caiaphas starts crying. Is it possible that he realizes he's responsible for the crucifixion of the Son of God?

The Roman soldiers are depicted as brutal and contemptuous people, which is what they really were in those times.

If you feel this movie is anti-Semitic, you should probably read the Gospels a little bit more before you come to see it.

I recommend this movie to people of all religions.

Rating: ****
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Seabiscuit & Lost In Translation...Who's Gonna Win?
9 February 2004
I saw Seabiscuit and really enjoyed it. It got my vote for Best Picture of 2003, but after seeing Lost In Translation, I'm stumped! It's also a great movie with a great cast, plus you get lots of nice Tokyo scenery. Bill Murray does very well in the role of Bob Harris, an American actor who's in Japan to shoot a commercial for a whiskey company. Scarlett Johansen plays the wife of a rock star who's too busy to spend any time with her. Murray and Johansen meet one night and strike up a friendship which almost blossoms into love...but not quite, since they're both already married. Johansen is indeed beautiful.

Rating: ****
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