13 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
Pussyman 2: The Prize (1993 Video)
easily one of the top 13 pussymen of all time
18 December 2003
this was an unbelievable movie. If you think you know what you're talking about you have to see pussyman 2. unbelievable cinematography. includes one of the top 100 anal sex scenes of all time. highly recommended.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Scary Movie 3 (2003)
uh oh, it worked
4 November 2003
Well looks like they decided they wanted a few extra million by making a scary movie 3. It was easy. Write a five minute script, than fill the rest of the movie in with people punching each other and quite possibly the most kicks in the nuts i have ever seen. The jokes on them, no one is dumb enough to go and see that, right? WRONG. I am very disappointed that the world is letting a bunch of millionaires rob them even more. People can no longer keep telling me that if I don't like it i don't have to see it because you know what? With each piece of crap like this that makes 30 million dollars in it's first week, at least 30 others follow, and i'm pretty damn sick of it. A kick in the nuts can definitely be funny, but somehow in this movie they somehow managed to screw up every joke. Every time i thought the jokes would start going somewhere further another punch was thrown and another nut was kicked. Did anyone else not notice that the jokes were repeated every 5 minutes? Did i wake up in a twilight zone-esque world in which everyone's a big idiot? Where are your standards people!!
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Mondo cane (1962)
22 July 2003
Although i cannot say that this was an especially good movie, I can say that you should not see it as an exploitation of other cultures, but as a view of the world from an indifferent point of view. Even though the film might have been made as a way of shocking viewers and making a profit, you should take from it the fact that what seems shocking or unusual by us can be of nature to others, and things we do in our everyday lives can seem shocking to others. i give it a 6/10.
11 out of 14 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Extreme Ops (2002)
triple x meets collateral damage! I'm there!
21 December 2002
Every once in a while you see a movie so amazing that it has a place in your heart forever. Every once in a very long while you see a movie that is so good that it changes your life forever. In my life I have come across several of those movies, but when i went to see extreme ops, i viewed a movie that is so incredible, that there should be an entire religion formed around it. Throughout the duration of this movie, I got so excited that I crapped my pants at least 6 times. But can you blame me? Here's the plot: A group of killer Xtreme sports stars, are filming a commercial on a mountain, but than all of a sudden they catch this fartknocking criminal of war on tape! The guy finds out, and starts trying to catch them, so to escape they have to bust some chillin moves down the mountain on their boards and stuff! This movie is so good that if Rob Schneider showed up in it I would probably die because of how good it would be!! The plot is so original, you take Xtreme sports and you already have an incredible movie, you add a criminal of war you get the messiah of all movies. In conclusion if you don't join a religion devoted to this movie, you are a terrible person.
1 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Brilliant actor, good idea, not living up to the dream.
13 September 2002
I remember back when this movie was about to be released, i thought Wow! another masterpiece for the the books, it has all the essentials: A good, original idea, appeal to myself and many other movie lovers everywhere, and most importantly, the comic genius of Rob Shneider! But when i exited the theatre after i saw it, i walked out feeling scattered and confused, it was bad, how could a movie like this turn out so bad. I did not enjoy this movie at all I think. I mean the jokes seemed so played out and regurgitated, and the comedy low class, who could expect this from Rob Shneider. I guess this could be maybe one exception to his film career, everyone makes mistakes, but i mean, this is not something i would have thought could have happened, anyway, see it if you want, but Rob Shneider has done better work if you want to see him at his best rent Demolition Man, or Judge Dredd.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
instant classic
4 September 2002
This movie is so hilarious it's not funny. I crapped my pants from laughing so hard and was afraid to stand up because everyone would see it. A bumbling fartknocker dies and he still wants to go on a date with this girl so he comes back from the dead to do it!! I know what you're thinking and the answer is yes, it is as funny as it sounds. It was almost as good as Beethoven 3, or even police academy 6!!!!! The only thing that would be sweeter than this movie would be a remake of The Godfather, with the comic genius Rob Schneider as Sonny, and that would be pretty sweet. In conclusion see this sweet movie because it's one of the the sweetest movies about dead guys coming back from the grave to go on a date with girls of all time.
2 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Feardotcom (2002)
Pure brilliance!
31 August 2002
Well, first thing i have to say, is if you are a fan of good movies, and i mean GOOD movies, and you are yet to see this film, do yourself a favour and rush to the theatres immeadiatly!!! It has everything a movie should have, an excellent, extremely original plot, rousing adventure, suspense, and horror that makes me almost crap my pants! It's not a teen movie, it appeals to anyone from the ages of 8 to 70's so Everyone MUST like it. i read some bad reviews by so called "acclaimed critics" well, in my opinion they're all a bunch of fartknockers! if you liked XXX, jason X, or any good movie today, you'll love this. Stephen dorf is brilliant, intriguing cinematography, just perfection. the only thing that would make this masterpeice better that it already is amazing, is if Rob Shnieder was in it, then his comedic genius would make my day, because EVERY movie no matter what genre it is need jokes. examples are: Deuce bigalo Male gigolo (pure greatness because off all the great, original jokes), or Schindlers List (which was so dull, jeez, at least some comedy would make it as good as people say!)
2 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Beethoven's 4th (2001 Video)
beethoven should have lived to see this!!
31 August 2002
If Ludwig Van Beethoven had lived to see such artistic genius be created with a character with his name, he would have wept of joy. For this film is so sweet that i'm gonna crap myself. an incredible performance by digby the talking dog as beethoven is just one of the many highlights of this event. Beethoven seems to start acting strange, he's not up to his usual schemes, and judge reinhold (in an incredible performance as the father) wonders what is wrong. They soon find out that beethoven has been switched by a better fartknocking dog. The sorrow that the family goes through is shocking and unbelievably real. I also think Rob Shneider would be excellently cast as the father, or any role. Also the film did not have as many fart jokes as i would have hoped for. We all know that what holds together films is the fart jokes, and i believe that Rob Schneider could have provided enough fart jokes for our satisfaction. But despite the lack of Rob Schneider and fart jokes, this movie was a great ride with an ending so powerful that it changed me as a human being.
15 out of 22 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
Out Cold (2001)
A brilliant film that once again re-kindles my fading hopes and dreams of a good movie in a world of trash.
31 August 2002
Read the title, this is just one of those movies, you walk out of, feeling on top of the world, much congratulations to everyone involved in making this film, or should i say masterpiece. Everything combined added up to one of my favorite films of all time, the intelligable jokes, the original, great plot, throw in some great acting, and that classic feel-amazing that i haven't gotten since Good Burger! Just experience all the adventures, or should i say misadventures and shenanigans these hoodlums trick themselves into one after another is so entertaining and even more exciting that it makes me almost crap my pants! I never liked snowboarding untill i saw this movie, some scenes are just to powerful, that you know you'll never think the same again after this experience. The only thing it lacks is some more mature humor, I mean Rob Shneider would be PERFECT in the gang! just an addition of that Classic humor would cause plates in inner earth to shift from the laughter erupting. Anyway you have to see this movie, so don't be a fartknocker and buy it right now!!!!!
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
nostalgic look at skateboarding past
26 August 2002
I recently saw this film and being a skateboarder myself i thought it was great. Although i might have a bias because i am a skateboarder, i thought that this film had all the elements that a good documentary should. It showed how one tiny microcosm of less than 20 people could do something that would effect the world in such a big way. Although most people think that skateboarding is a pointless and insignificant sport, that is just done by burnouts with nothing better to do, it is untrue. In fact much of the worlds pop culture would be different if it weren't for skateboarding, and these men in particular. These men, managed to start a revolution by doing something that they loved, and this documentary shows that it wasn't for money, or fame, but it was just for the thrill of it all.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
instant classic
26 August 2002
what can i say. this is hands down the greatest movie ever made. In fact, this movie is so sweet that i'm going to crap myself. The plot is ingenious: A young and troubled boy Constantly made the subject of humiliation by other children, does not know where to go or who too turn to. But then, suddenly is given the joyous news that he will be moving, and going to a new school. The ingenious performance of the bully by barry tabatchnick is incredible. His uncomprimising shananigans played on young max are unbelievable. In all i give this event in cinematic excellence a 17.5 out of 17.56.
0 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
my favourite film
30 January 2002
Stanley Kubrick is my favourite director of all time, and if he had made this film alone he would still be in my top 3. This movie is the best ever, it manages to take a topic is black as nuclear war, and make it hilariously satirical. It takes satire, and combines it with some all out silliness. It captures the characters (although quite exagerated) perfectly, and makes you think that these people were really experiencing a cold war.

The suspision and parinoia of general Ripper and general Turginson are portrayed perfectly by Sterling Hayden and George C. Scott, and Peter sellers is perfect in all 3 of his roles: As captain Mandrake he manages to be Neurotic, yet occasionly pompous, as President Muffley he manages to seem worried yet sometimes over confident, as Dr. Strangelove he manages to be insane, and in all 3 he is all out hilarious. This film is the high point of cinema whether you think it's funny, smart, or all out insane.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
over hyped
25 January 2002
I know that most critics, would like to leap at the chance of giving Russel Crowe credit for his performance in anything he has ever made, but i'm going to make my point. Russel Crowe is hollywood's most.... hmm... what's that word again?.... Oh yeah.... OVERRATED actor since Leonerdo Dicrapio. I know that most uneducated critics enjoy those tear jerking moving instant "classics" more than anything else in the world, but I have a few points to make about why you should think differently about this film, and all the others like it.

A. for all of you teenybopping 12-18 year olds that think that if the academy likes it, than it must be good, let me make one thing clear these oscar winning tear jerkers will pass on within the next 5 years (Does any one still consider Titanic one of the best films ever made like they did when it came out.)

B. Ron Howard is one of my favourite directors, and part of the reasons I thought less of this film is that it seemed to me that he was setting out to make one of those oscar winning tearjerkers, more than he was trying to make A point about the acual issue in the film.

C. Any actor, that was in an oscar winning performance the previous year will have an overhyped movie the next year, which is what Warren Beatty was implying in his quote "The Golden Globes are fun, The Oscars are buisness. Russel Crowe won best actor for Gladiator last year that is why A Beautiful mind is overhyped in my opinion.

I am not at all saying that this is a bad film, the performances are quite good, especially from Jenifer Connely, i'm just saying the people praising it like it's some sort of an event in film making really need to get their lips off of Russel Crowe's ass for a bit and start realizing what they are saying.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this