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10/10
The wheeling deeling 90's!
2 April 2018
The most incredible documentary I have ever seen. Tells the amazing story of a Miami-Cali Cartel-Moscow connection and the purchase of Russian military helicopters for sale to the the Cartel. Eventually leading to a brokered deal by these shady Miami figures and a Cuban Secret Service agent with 40 passports of a Russian nuclear sub to the drug lords. There's an amazing twist at the end of this story involving the most ballsy double-cross anyone could imagine but I won't give that away.

Told by the original players from Miami and DEA and FBI agents, missing from the testimony are Cartel members who are MIA for obvious reasons. The main characters are all unique personalities that had me laughing from the first interview. Especially entertaining was the Cuban spy who if he wasn't in hiding would make a great stand up comedian, or the next James Bond. Documentaries are not normally entertaining, but this one had me in stitches until the end. Highly recommended.
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Schitt's Creek (2015– )
4/10
Practically unwatchable now.
27 March 2018
First season: Great. Second season started the slide, now a 4/10 is being very generous.

David was the clear star of the show early on with his quirky and sometimes hilarious metrosexual manners, that has now decended into a nonstop play of gay angst and preening man love with his Rose Apothecary co-partner. Its sickening actually. Alexis is still as funny as she is totally clueless, but her mom Moira is so overly pretentious and tacky and so unlikeable sometimes I wonder why I even bother. Chris Elliot is wasted on this series, but I guess they can't get rid of Mr. Schitt.

As usual Eugene Levy's understated and dry with are the clear highlight of whats left of this Schitt Show. Here's hoping for improvement in Season 5, but considering the direction they're headed I won't hold my breath.
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The F Word (I) (2017– )
1/10
A total and complete disaster.
7 June 2017
OK first of all, I am a huge Gordon Ramsay fan, but I absolutely hate what Fox has done to him. Kitchen Nightmares, Hotel Hell, Hell's Kitchen all ridiculous pablum for a zombified US audience, and The F Word may be the worst of them all.

If you've seen the original Channel 4 series from the UK please look away now and don't hazard a single moment of this watered down Gordon Goes to Hollywood version of the F Word, you will despise this series. Totally scripted, none of Gordon's natural charm and personality shows through, and worst of all....its BORING! But thats exactly what we've come to expect from Fox. Trust me, if you are a fan of Gordon F'ing Ramsay, plug into the original F Word series from the UK, its probably the best cooking show of all time. This poor reinvention won't make it to Season 2.
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Mad Families (2017)
2/10
Not even Charlotte McKinney can save this piece of crap.
17 May 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Big Charlie Sheen fan here, he's completely wasted in this flick. Defitelyu worthy of Crackle, but not worthy of your time. Dennis Quaid makes a funny cameo, and McKinney makes for some good eye candy when she's not bitching at Charlie or making ugly faces, but this thing is just not funny.

"We have become a nation of soft pussy people." OK, thats the highlight of the movie. You've been warned.
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1/10
Hilariously and incredibly bad.
5 May 2017
No wonder Loughton was ever allowed to direct another film, this is probably the worst piece of crap I have ever seen, but for a good laugh it was worth the cost of admission. Listen, we all know Mitchum was a one dimensional hack, his best role came in What a Way to Go, but this thing? Holy Mary mother of god. And to add insult to injury, the dumbed down idiots in this country hail it as one of the great masterpieces of cinema. Seriously, what planet am I on? BTW, my dad was in the theater business, he refused to run this tripe because of the general reception in Nashville... it was totally panned, and ended its run after 3 days. LOL And yes, its that bad!
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7/10
Not as bad as is being reported.
10 November 2013
Come on people, I actually thought this was semi-entertaining.

Where this thing falls down mainly is its attempt at being a little too Guy Richie'est. The comparisons are several and yes this is a weak rip off of Lock Stock, but its certainly not the worst movie I've ever seen. Another example of the internet breeding idiots all over the world.

I'm posting comments from the director below to meet this stupid minimum length thing:

"The production of this film was a mess from the start. If you would like to know more, then watch the film "The Plex" or goto

I'm sorry you all sat through this version of the film. The directors cut is supported by not only myself, but Sam Worthington, Steve Bastoni, Jason Crewes, Brian Cobb, David Wheeler and the lists goes on.

Hopefully one day, the correct version can be released. Until then I hope you enjoy the future projects more than this one."
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Romeo & Juliet (II) (2013)
4/10
Worst mob movie ever!
13 October 2013
Silly story about two Mafia families in Italy who were at war over a failed Pizza Hut franchise. This Romeo character who was from one family went to a sock-hop and met this chick named Juliet who was from the other tribe, they talked about his haircut and pantaloons for a while, then he climbed over her balcony and screwed her brains out while her parents were watching Johnny Carson in the next room.

The following day the story got out and all hell broke loose and there was this big gang fight and a couple of Capos got stabbed and died. Romeo celebrated winning a knife fight by going back to Juliet's and boinking her again, but he forgot his rubbers this time and so she got preggers. "Ohhhhh Romeo!!!"

Juliet was having morning sickness real bad, and her gynecologist or a monk or somebody gave her some Hydrocodone and Benadryl, but she had a bad reaction to it and went into a coma. Romeo thought she was dead cause they took her to the cemetery and laid her out on this big stone slab, but he thought she was really really dead so he shot himself. Then Juliet woke up, finds Romeo dead, takes his gun and shoots herself too. End of another stupidassed Shakespeare tale.

I cant believe they made me read this crap in high school No wonder everybody is so friggin dumb these days.
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Loosies (2011)
9/10
The internet has made idiots of...
10 October 2012
half the population. Well actually, these idiots have always polluted the gene pool, but now they get to spread their ignorance around the world via the internet.

First of all, don't pay any attention to these bad "reviews," I seriously doubt these people actually watched this movie. For an independent, it was quite a surprise. Facinelli does a terrific job with the screenplay about a pickpocket trying to pay off his Father's $500,000 debt to scumbag Vincent Gallo. Along the way, he manages to lift a badge from Michael Madsen, who works for acknowledged superfreak William Forsythe (in a very subdued role) and then all hell breaks loose.

As our lead is being pursued by seemingly the entire NY City police force, his mom breaks bad with Joe Pantoliano, and he "accidentally" bumps into and falls in love with the beautiful, but recently impregnated, Jaimie Alexander, with whom he had a one night fling then apparently forgot about.

The writing is tight, the characters are well cast, there is humor, drama, intrigue, and romance, and this is Michael Madsen's best role since ... well since hell I cant remember... a long damn time.

Anybody that doesn't like this movie needs their heads examined. For its budget, a solid 9/10.
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Top Chef Masters (2009– )
4/10
More fake "Reality" TV
18 July 2012
I was really enjoying this show, no Tom Colicchio, no Padma (gag), with a new cute host and some world class chefs jumping through all sorts of hoops to advance.

And I was really digging this show right up until I caught this disclaimer in the end credits: "Winning and elimination decisions were made by the Judges in consultation with producers. Some elimination decisions were discussed with Bravo."

WTF!!! "in consultation with producers?" How bogus. Screw these guys, I ain't watching this crap anymore.

What a waste of a real opportunity here... great chefs like Hubert Keller and Rick Bayless shouldn't have to rely on ratings to get passed up the chain, their food should stand on its own.
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Shameless (2004–2013)
I know I'll get bashed for this, but.......
29 October 2011
Quirky and inventive, yes. Entertaining, somewhat.

Look, I lived and worked in the UK for 3 years, but I cant understand bloody half of what these people are saying. I may be somewhat jaded since I was introduced to this series via the Showtime version, which IMHO is a far superior implementation than the original, and if you haven't seen it yet you need to check it out cause its the best thing thats happened to cable since the Sopranos.

The only reason I was able to follow the storyline in this series is because of my familiarity with the US version. It basically follows the same plot lines, in different sequence, but without that baseline, I never would have known what the hell was going on here.

One of the biggest issues with this show is the character Frank McEvoy is just not likable at all. He's a total scumbag with no redeeming value whatsoever, compare that to the Bill Macy character on Showtime, who is also a total scumbag, but with charm and a certain appeal. Anyway, I could go on and on but I wont. One reviewer mentioned the fact that this cast is much less attractive than the US cast, and thats putting it nicely, they are hideously ugly.

Bottom line, this is not a show that will appeal to a mass US audience, primarily due to the language and cultural barrier. This thing has very limited niche appeal, but if you love British cinema or BBC telecasts then it may be worth checking out. Thats not a money back guarantee.
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9/10
Hilarious!
17 October 2011
I must admit, on first viewing I wasn't all that impressed, in fact I had rated this thing a 4, but after watching it a second time, maybe with a few more beers down my neck, I love this flick and I am lauging my AO!

OK, the family was crazy, but the problems with this film is that all the interesting and crazy members of this family are either dead or in jail. The rest are just a bunch of redneck trailer trash pregnant women but they are pretty entertaining. I love the scene where Bertie is released from prison, goes to steal her husband from his girlfriend's house, hijacks him to the drug store where they got prescriptions for pain pills filled while the pharmacist originally had married them. hahahahaa

This is a two hour marathon about a bunch of ignorant hicks from West Virginia. We got grandma, her daughter, and a bunch of grandkids sitting around her house smoking pot, snorting pain pills, and drinking beer they cant afford. But then how the hell do they all afford the drugs and cars cause none of them have jobs. You heard me, none of them, not one.

I guess I wasn't so impressed with this insane flick cause being from Tennessee and knowing worse families, oh yeah, there's nothing here that I haven't seen before. These guys are a bunch of Pikeys compared to the Jetts, the Stinetts, Blackwells, and the Whiteheads of Marshall County. On second thought I may be a little jealous cause I wont be doing any Oxys, Roxys, Coke, or smoking any pot at my mom's house when I go home for Thanksgiving this years.
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Glory Road (2006)
1/10
A little historical accuracy would lend credibility.
17 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
If Don Haskins had not already been on the Texas Western staff for FOUR years before the landmark 65 season, then maybe I would believe there were a hundred people in the stands waving Confederate flags at the championship contest with Kentucky. Well, not really, but you get my point. But, since the producers think they can take liberties with facts, the whole premise of this tale is now re-spun from a "true story" into a story "based on true events." I hate that. I guess that means that all the racism portrayed in the film also was based on true events that occurred "elsewhere?"

A nice "true" story that loses major style points for classic Hollywood remixing of facts, and reinvention of real events. If you are white, this movie is designed to make you feel guilty about the prejudice that once existed in this country that you didn't have anything to do with. If you are black, this movie will in all likelihood inspire you to feel superior about your athletic abilities, and also make you angry and bitter over the portrayal of racism in the deep South during the 60's. I too am angry that I shelled out $9 bucks to see this crap. 2 whistles.
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Evil Roy Slade (1972 TV Movie)
3/10
Stupid and very dated.
19 December 2003
I remember thinking this thing was funny when it was released but after searching the planet for a copy of the video I was very disappointed that none of the laughs I remembered survived the passing of 30 years time. What a bummer!
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Deliverance (1972)
5/10
The best thing I can say about this movie film is thank God it wasnt filmed in my home state!
19 March 2003
Some movies just dont hold up over time and this is a good example. I remember this flick had much more impact on it's release, it was different and I guess it appealed to all us closet banjo pickers that fantasized about marrying our aunts, cousins, sisters, mothers, etc.

And if you've ever been whitewater rafting there's not much about the Cuhulawasassawasee that will intimidate you. And as far as that whole "pig" thing goes, I always felt Ned Beatty was the wrong guy for that scene...my choice would have been Ronny Cox onacounta the fact that any Y chromosome deficient that brings a guitar along on a camping trip with his buddies is just asking for it. Hey, come to think of it, maybe thats why him a Burt were late showing up for the rescue?

Boooooring! 5/10
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1/10
Holeeee Mother Mary
14 January 2003
Damn, I thought I'd seen some bad westerns. Can't top this one though. Hell I think I'd rather have my eyes stapled open for a Trinity Triple Feature for cryin out loud. I dont think I'll be able to watch Ben Hur again without laughing my ass off. Just really bad.

But hey, if you like stupid westerns with acknowledged stars in the thing take a peek at Shoot Out with Gregory Peck. It's just as bad, but much funnier. 1/10
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6/10
Cooper is Hollywood's greatest simpleton
7 January 2003
Too bad they didnt give him any material to work with in this turkey.

Cooper plays a dimwitted cowpoke (not much of a stretch) mistaken for a notorious outlaw. Some light moments, but no humor. Actually, about the only highlight here is a gorgeous Loretta Young as the outlaw's reluctant girlfriend. OK, I'm out of compliments.

An interesting but overlong diversion, only for huge fans of the genre, or Gary Cooper. 6/10
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Captain Ron (1992)
3/10
Captain Yawn!
31 December 2002
Mary Kay Place - YUM.

Martin Short - YUK!

I should have known better but that $6 price tag was there for a reason. Now I can add to my collection of DVD's in the garage that include Zachariah, Trinity/Trinity/Trinity, and Lord of the Rings, Mean Machine, and the Wild Bunch....all duds, like this turkey.

I cant fault Kurt Russell, he's actually pretty good in this role but he doesnt have any material to work with. Very little humor here except for the beer drinking Monopoly playing 10 year old. Sort of reminded me of my old childhood. But that's about it. You've been warned. 2/10
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Mean Machine (2001)
1/10
Quite possibly the worst movie I've ever seen.
30 December 2002
Actually I've already seen The Longest Yard about 30 times so I'm pretty p***ed I dropped $25 on this piece of crap. Snatch Meets TLY Meets Natural Born Killers. There's nothing new or interesting or FUNNY in this thing. Just a blatant copy for idiot soccer fans with aspirations of the Big House.

I would have thought Matthew Vaughn and Mr. Madonna could have come up with something a little more engaging than this. Pitiful. This thing SUCKS. You've been warned. 0/10
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Memento (2000)
1/10
Note to self:
18 December 2002
Recipe for success in filmaking in the 00's. Write a dyslexic 20 minute short story about a good looking tattoed idiot in a motel room. Shuffle pages, go to Kinkos, make 300 copies, shuffle again, call Tarantino. Rake in the dough.

I give this film credit for trying to be different, but the only thing it succeeds in doing is being a monotonous bore. The votes for this dog are proof positive of the near complete dumbing down of this country...either that or just another example of the "Bandwagon" Syndrome. Do any of you people really know how to think for yourself anymore? Pitiful.
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5/10
Sorry I bought this.
18 December 2002
Maybe after seeing Best in Show my expectations were set a little too high. Particularly in light of all the high praise this thing has received....however, it doesn't deserve all the accolades.

OK sure, this flick is inventive, new, and occasionally funny. But for the most part it's fairly boring, monotonous, and highly irritating. You find yourself waiting and waiting for someone to do or say something funny like "don't be a fool, everybody wants stools" but that's the exception to the rule...fool.

I'm going to write this one off to the advancing political correctness that has overtaken us, along with the massive Y chromosome shrinkage we've apparently suffered in the last 30 years. I wonder what Trent Lott has to say about Corky St. Clair? And as usual, Catherine O'Hara's character is the clear highlight of this uncircumcised turkey. The restaurant scene did have me ROTFLMBO, but that's about it. 5 Foreskins, all in the hopes that Christopher Guest continues to build on the content of Best in Show, a much much funnier film.
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The Alamo (1960)
10/10
Cut, slash, and run baby!
18 December 2002
This movie is just great...period. The frictional dynamic between John Wayne, Widmark, and Laurence Harvey, all fighting for the same cause has never been duplicated. Before or since.

I can't believe they are remaking this classic. And when I saw that Billy Bob Thornton was picked to play Crockett I almost fell out of my chair laughing. I dont think so.

This is an immortal film. One of the very few that still brings a tear. And the DVD does justice to the original theatrical release. 9 coonskins.
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Resident Evil (2002)
1/10
OK everybody....can I get a show of hands to outlaw Zombie movies forever?
16 December 2002
I like Milla, I like the Zombiedogs, they don't like her. Milla turns into Carrie-Anne Moss, runs around a wall, and kicks a dog in the head. If you saw this in the trailer, then you have already seen the highlight of this flick. Come to think of it, maybe Carrie-Anne should give some thought to scrapping the latex in favor of a slinky designer cocktail dress for Matrix 4, 5, and 6.

Timeout for a public service request. HELLO....ASPCA, where are you? This movie is an affront to all genetically altered killer zombie dobermans and their owners everywhere.

I can't imagine this thing generating enough attention to justify a sequel. One of the worst I've ever seen. But, if you just can't get enough of zombie movies, and you thought Blade II was cool, and you asked your mommie for an X-Box for Christmas, then you'll probably like this thing. 1 Moooltiepass, to get me as far away as possible.
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The Vikings (1958)
8/10
Rousing 50's classic exposes Kirk Douglas as a lousy actor.
16 December 2002
But I like it anyway. Some memorable scenes, good overall content for the time. Almost anybody would have been better as Einar, but I think Kirk owned the script or something. He makes a better smirking newspaper reporter than he does a smirking Viking prince. Lee Marvin would have been interesting in that part, or Jack Lemmon. Ernest Borgnine was great as Ragnar, King of the Vikings. But I swear if I had heard him pronounce "What a son" one more time I'd have had an apoplexy, and they are normally reserved for rich old Southern ladys. Maybe a conniption or something would be better. And Tony Curtis ... well, he was usually pretty good in these roles ala. The Black Shield of Falworth, but somethings missing here. He sort of scoots around with this fake intensity and a stunned "can't believe I just humped the neighbors cat" look on his face. Maybe it was because he suddenly realized Janet Leigh was going to ruin his life, and give him a daughter that would be known as the "Queen of the Slasher Flicks." Or maybe it was because he knew Kirk was going to draft him for the part of that sweet little bath boy in Spartacus, if you know what I mean? ; ) O'dddiiiiiin!

Anyway, the scenery is nothing short of phenomenal. The colors and textures on the DVD are as good as I've seen. Anybody ever wonder where those 10 foot long Alpenhorns come from. Are goats that big over in Norway? Bury me with 8 broadswords. O'dddiiiiiin!
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3/10
One of the worst ever.
14 December 2002
Ohhh the brutality, ohhhhh the dying breed, ohhhh the sense of loss, ohhhh the prejudice! Jeez, when are all you whiney revisionists going to stop analyzing Westerns for crying out loud? S**t happens. If it offends your socially engineered sensibilities then go back to the comfort of your Meryl Steep collection.

Boring, tedious, and very tiresome waste of celluloid-particularly in light of Coburn/Hackman/Bergen's presence. Nothing interesting or intriguing here, unless you are obsessed with 19th century desert dentisty. May have been a little better without the constant diversion of the out-of-place mexican guy with the bad tooth. A monument to the stupid ultra-left creeping sensitivity of the 60/70's. Virtually impossible to sit through the entire film. I think I'd rather have my eyes stapled open for the entire Lucky Luke/Trinity series. 4 Horses/10-all deader'n hell.
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Zachariah (1971)
7/10
Better than you might expect.
14 December 2002
Still dont remember why I bought this DVD, or why it sat for 3 years before watching it. Anyway, this movie is a real hoot. From Don Johnson's premiere as an 18 yr old Prom Queen lookalike with a sidearm to Country Joe's surreal insertion into an old west shoot-em-up saloon. The whole thing is just twisted as hell, and fun.

A recommended rental with a 6 pack. 7 tokes.
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