I hope Burns keeps up the level of quality in future episodes, though I expect (as with "Jazz") that his reliance on current self-appointed experts and fans will yield more hyperbole than light on the subject.
I hope Burns keeps up the level of quality in future episodes, though I expect (as with "Jazz") that his reliance on current self-appointed experts and fans will yield more hyperbole than light on the subject.
Apotheosis of this approach comes in a bizarre Candi Cotton segment titled "Impossible Penetrations". It has her trying out an assortment of bigger and bigger dildos, inserting them into her body with skill and relative ease that belies that title. All the while Jim has a man in a yellow chicken outfit first ogling her and then cavorting wildly on the bed behind her.
What does it all mean? Merely the demented imagination of Powers, who is nearly at a loss (documented in the BTS) when the guy in the suit name of Johnny Packwood seems drunk and can't understand the simplest directions our fearless leader barks out to him to get the scene rolling. The importance Powers attaches to the chicken's participation in what amounts to the usual Solo Masturbation scene starring Cotton is truly absurd.
Of the other scenes, "Mars Attacks", perhaps a demented homage to the truly lousy Tim Burton movie, is fairly impressive. We have lovely Brandi Lyons trying to escape the clutches of horny alien whose elongated head suggests the influence of Geiger's "Alien" horror movie. He is played under all that quality makeup and prosthetics by Scott Lyons, with a lengthy prosthetic penis the length of a horse cock, all the better to hump Brandi with. Plenty of fake spunk is squirted out of this nozzle-shaped appendage for the money shot.
Similar fake cum is utilized a finale featuring Catalina called "Barnyard Perversions". It has her pony represented by a guy wearing a horse's head with a fake horse cock prosthetic, not as exciting as it sounds.
Remaining vignette stars Sabrina Jade in a gang-bang, It's titled "I Feel Like Chicken Tonight" (not the chicken from the Cotton scene), and is a typical Powers indulgence in sloppy sex. So Sabrina is covered with chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy as the three studs give her some airtight sex action, more icky than arousing.
The six scenes are uneventful, qualifying as all-sex content with no dialog provided. It devolves into the usual popularity contest (see any number of IMDb submitted reviews on the genre), with my vote likely going to favorite Sarah Twain.
It is obvious that big butts are on display, without the excesses (of non-stop anal sex) committed by Brazzers when a series dwells on the posterior. The cast includes both current superstars Ana Foxxx and Cassidy Banks, as well as a welcome if obscure big mama named Moriah Mills.
Set-ups aren't very interesting, though a NonSex guest shot by Syren De Mer peps up a familiar scene about a bride (Syren is the mother-in-law to be), when the groom humps the tempting maid of honor Anya Ivy instead of his betrothed.
An unparalleled beauty in the big-boobs genre, Lucie Wilde, is her usual cool and remote self, making love to a stud named Argo outdoors on a conveniently placed four-poster bed. Her swinging, mammoth natural breasts are a joy to behold.
The late August Ames teams up with Bridgette B for a threesome with Markus Dupree, latter playing unconvincingly a pianist out of place with the two gals cast as a female rock band.
The great breasty lady Laura Orsolya shares the spotlight with more normal sized Patty Michova in a finale servicing veteran Nick Lang. Not to be outdone, the Brit Porn great Stacey Saran shares a shower and wet humping with Seth Strong.
And for a surefire opener, Anissa Kate is magnificent in a role-reversal scene, as the boss interviewing Franco Roccaforte for a job, requiring him to undress and service her -quality IR content.
His screenplay in collaboration with a big-deal guy Charles W. Bailey (slumming in porn) dispenses with dialog, instead having the show heavily narrated in voice-over of a letter (to her husband) and passages from her journal recited by Julia. She has flown the coop, leaving her better half to sit there and glumly read her confessions for an hour and a half of flashback-laden running time.
So the "don't do that!" crutch of voice-over, which any film professor admonishes the student to avoid, is instead stretched to the extreme, rendering the action flat and monotonous. Of course, the XXX action by Julian and other actresses Lezley Zen, Nicole Sheridan and a lovely newcomer "Lonnie", makes up for this bad decision on Brad's part.
The great man (Brad, of course) deigns to show up on screen as a stud humping Zen, one of the perks of being the man in charge.
It all leads to a downbeat ending, which combined with the absence of dialog and character interaction among the obviously intimate players will have the viewer wondering at the conclusion: "Is that all there is?", to quote Peggy Lee's famous downer of a song, no more a downer than this movie.
She's a psychotherapist, treating lovely young Scarlet Red who has a strange affliction, brought to Karen's attention by the kid's step-mom Raquel Devine. It seems that Red was a child star in movies, and was abused by the studio and her handlers who used drugs to arrest her development (to prolong her kiddie career). As a result at age 19 she is still flat-chested and has no pubic hair.
Without dwelling on the porn overtones of this absurd set-up, it's full speed ahead to Karen taking on the case and using hormone therapy to reverse the bad effects on the kid. "Four months later" reads the card on screen, and it's time for Karen to give the girl a gynecological exam (prurient enough for the DVD viewer to enjoy), followed by busty Raquel's incestuous sex with Scarlet.
The plot thickens as Fisher enlists willing patient Adriana Chechik to pretend to be her daughter in a scene that mirrors Girlfriends' favorite blocking, the four principal actresses sitting in a row as Karen proposes having sex with Scarlet to undo the inappropriate relationship of the Raquel/Scarlet incest. Oddball story escalates from there to Adriana making love to Raquel, and then the obligatory extraneous sex scene of Fisher having Sapphic sex with another patient, Prinzzess. As frequently is the case, Prinzzess doesn't remain in character once the XXX action begins, showing exceptional sexual prowess (after hundreds of porno sex assignments) unbefitting to her inexperienced character.
Through it all, Karen's skill at calmly delivered, credible improvised dialog holds the preposterous saga together.
Title segment features Angela White as the masseuse, demonstrating to her young co-workers Chloe Cherry/Couture and Whitney Wright how to use the bolster. The resulting lesbian threesome is overdone with its endless changing of positions but does deliver the goods.
My favorite scene is more straightforward, featuring blonde on blonde action as masseuse Kristen Scott services that tall drink of water, beautiful Alexa Grace. Director Alan frames Alexa's body marvelously, filling up the wide screen with its length.
Kristen returns on the other side of the coin as a client, getting an anniversary gift rubdown from masseuse Skylar Snow. Alan cameos as Kristen's husband but doesn't show his face in this vignette, and earns a rare acting credit on screen for his brief stint before the camera.
For the big tit fans in the audience, Cali Carter is very sexy as she seduces her naive young masseuse Zoey Taylor.
She is saddled with a ne'er-do-well husband Kris Slater, who's been out of work for months and takes out his frustrations on his wife. Her otherwise cozy existence begins to unravel when she takes up her cute co-worker (at the salon) Alyssa Branch's offer to substitute for her on a vacation to Palms Springs.
There she is lonely, as Kris back home doesn't even bother to answer her calls, and is easily picked up at the hotel bar by smoothie and slimy Steven St. Croix. He romances the vulnerable heroine into bed, and soon after his money shot disappears.
Upon arriving home, she finds Kris in great spirits, having just landed a cushy and lucrative job at an ad agency, making her feel guilty over her holiday infidelity. St. Croix reappears and her problems escalate from there.
Stormy does a terrific job in making the viewer identify strongly with Lexi and her predicament, and uses an inventive film structure (inserting near the end a cryptic but very hot sex scene involving herself and real-life mate Brendon Miller) to lead to a shock ending. It is features like this that have led me to believe that the tabloid-scandal-ridden Stormy deserved an opportunity to direct mainstream films, but unfortunately is now faced with a career in ruins.
Melissa Monet is a well-known Adult actress whose work as screenwriter deserves wider recognition, as she takes it seriously. For this adventure of Harley's Angels (Randy Spears plays Harley, having sex and giving the gals orders but never showing his face on camera), Monet concocts a caper whereby bad guy Steven St. Croix is out to steal Asia Carrera's painting, with an elaborate back story about searching for the lost treasure of the Templars, to which the painting and two others hold the key. Monet even shows literary knowledge by name-dropping the title of one of the other paintings belonging to Carrera, "A Dance to the Music of Time", which is the name of a series of classic novels written by Anthony Powell.
There is plenty of derring-do and action footage involving car chases and jet-skis, as director/cameraman Francois Clousot delivers what resembles a real movie, rather than mere porn footage. The angels are played by Aurora Snow, Shay Sweet and Hannah Harper, three solid Sin City regulars, and their sex scenes are invigorating.
Kelly Nichols stars as Jamie Bond, and her reward is last billing in the opening credits. She drives a futuristic big-fins automobile which is even snazzier looking than the legendary Lincoln Futura, and seeing it motor down the highway is the only thing about "Formula 69" of interest.
Stupid plot has two ladies, superstars of the era Kristara Barrington and Desiree Lane, having developed an aphrodisiac perfume that drives men crazy and turns women into manhaters. I thought the movie would provide a satirical Feminist theme but the script credited to John English goes nowhere in a hurry.
Four desultory sex scenes ensue, and the show is padded ridiculously with a montage of sex highlights (repeat footage) at the end.
She draws on the same talent pool so familiar from competing major labels (e.g., Girlfriends, Sweetheart & Gamma) but vive la difference. These short stories feature dramatic situations, sharp dialog and above all intriguing characterizations, rather than the usual unconvincing set-up that masks an all-sex approach to the genre for the big companies.
Case in point is the collection's title scene "Jane". Missa X portrays Jane herself in a NonSex role, as India Summer's new girlfriend, instantly resented by her stepdaughter Zoe Bloom. On first being introduced to Jane, Zoe is mean-spirited and drives her away with information about her stepmom that is a revelation to Jane. There is considerable black humor to Missa's writing, as India's distaste for vegan people as well as pet loving folks is news to Jane and a poison pill for the couple's plan to get married. Of course the jail-bait Zoe who insists on calling India "Mommy" has incestuous sex with the iconic Summer, staged with skill by Missa.
India returns in a vignette titled "The Chat Room Incident" which is very funny in depicting how both she and horny step-kid Shyla Jennings get off on mother-daughter anonymous texting via the internet, only to find out (long after the audience is aware) that they are conversing with each other, not a stranger. This scene has a wonderful surprise ending.
An even better conclusion occurs in "Domestic Violets", a clever tale that involves alter egos as doppelgangers in the frame. Young Violet Starr has a crush on her voluptuous redhead of a stepmom Penny Pax, and though their Sapphic sex together is a foregone conclusion for this porn exercise, Missa has a couple of humorous tricks up her sleeve that are immensely satisfying, story-wise.
Shyla appears in three vignettes of the five contained on the DVD, having a supporting NonSex role opposite India and Zoe in "Jane". Her big scene occurs in "The Investor", a dark tale starring Bridgette B as a totally mercenary stepmother who pimps out daughter Shyla in order to get a half million dollar check from a potential investor (who happens to be a lesbian), in order to save their family business. As in the other scenes, the acting is top-notch and the actresses stay in character during their XXX sex footage.
Remaining vignette is "Cherry", a lengthy one-act play with MILF Krissy Lynn seducing her virgin kid Aubrey Sinclair under the pretense of helping pop her hymen, as the young girl is suffering with a pesky physical problem at age 18. This scene is less credible than the others, but still well-directed and executed by the players.
The fact that the result is as crummy as if it were a first effort is irrelevant. This is meant to be generic sex footage aimed at an undiscriminating audience.
Briefest of cameos by series regulars Jelena Jensen and Harry Bali merely have JJ sporting deep decolletage, pushing Harry in his wheelchair as he puts a voice box to his neck and we hear jibberish credited (voice-over) to Joey Pulgadas, the label's utility man crew member.
Robby as Jack (we only see his hands in the frame occasionally, wanders around the DP headquarters talking to some stooge that plays his editor or studio flunky. It's an excuse for him to "comically" complain about how lousy his sales are and how little support he gets from the company, which as posters on the wall remind us is rightly consumed by its hit release of the blockbuster "Pirates". Though he gives "special thanks" to Digital Playground in the end credits, methinks dear Robby protests overmuch.
Along the way he stages shoots with various porn players, ranging from the beautiful Jana Cova to enthusiastic Penny Flame. Idea of humor is having one actress request a small or ordinary sized penis for her scene, so Robby inflicts on her the huge cock of Ben English as if a prank. Of course the fans know that these porn professionals are used to taking vast cocks (or oversized dildos) inside them as almost a prerequisite for joining the Chatsworth clan of sex workers.
Styled far more naturally than usual, Carmen Caliente leads off narrating "A Perfect Saturday Morning", in which her charm as a free spirit not only captivates partner Danny Mountain but the viewer as well.
Lana Rhoades is overly glamorous and laidback for her assignment opposite Ryan Ryder, who has prepared her a wonderful meal, though she only wants sex from him. It's titled "Salt & Pepper", one of the series always stupid monikers.
"Make Me Feel Special" teams Dolly Leigh and Xander Corvus in something of an erotic fantasy of Dolly's, horny for Xander.
Finale is "Stage Heat", a more elaborate vignette that seems to have concentrated Avalon's attention enough to render it stylish and evocative. Cassidy Klein is rehearsing a dance with fellow ballet artist Jay Smooth but he doesn't put his heart into it, so she uses sex to bring out the piece's passion. The moves here emphasizing (almost non-stop) the position of sex-standing-up are impressive.
Only element I could appreciate positively was setting the show at the lovely (and over-used) "Immoral Proposal" mansion, with its interior decor well-used as backdrop to sex. Opening shots establish the location as Malibu, though there's no evidence that the mysterious porn mansion is actually located there in reality.
Samantha is the attractive actress who serves as host, inviting three couples and a Black guest (Moe Johnson, credited as "The Gift") to attend a key party at her home. That means random assignment of folks to swing with somebody else's partner, all leading to a dull orgy finale that begins as a reverse gang-bang, in which all four cast femmes (including Samantha) wake "Dirk" up in his bedroom to service him before being joined by the rest of the cast.
Rather preposterously, we are supposed to believe that famous porn star Tyler Nixon, already overly-familiar from hundreds of roles when this was shot in 2013, is a real person named Dirk McCormick, that name listed in the credits rather than Tyler's. Dumb gimmick is even undermined when Tyler calls himself "Derek" in one scene, introducing himself. And in the DVD's Bonus Features, the Interviews section has the actor remaining in the Dirk persona.
Sex scenes are dull, and the cast's pleasant talking about swinging is strictly b.s.
So we have blonde Debbie King spraying milk endlessly from her elongated nipples, once in a hot lesbian vignette with Robyn Dare, and then returning to service a local stud.
Several extremely pregnant (big-bellied) ladies perform either in solo or humped by someone, and it all adds up to fetish porn that back in the day one was a bit ashamed to browse for in the local dirty book shop, stashed away on some lower or back of the store shelf near the "Dwarfs" and "Animals" sections.
Poorest element here is the pretense that this is a reform school, or vocational school if you will, since every scene is staged in what looks like somebody's house, with minimal set decorations that might hide that fact.
Six sex scenes are each introduced by a black & white set-up, in which a protagonist tells the viewer who they are and what's happening. What results is strictly jail-bait porn.
Randy Spears returns as the smug director of the place, giving Penny Flame a sexual tryout as her indoctrination, after belaboring the dumb joke that she thinks "vocational" is "vacational". The fact that Penny is a seasoned, famous porn star does not deter director Mark Stone from casting her as a fresh teen.
Attempts at humor fall flat, including naming Manuel Ferrara as the school chef Clousot (the frequent Wicked Pictures contract cameraman) or a stupid cameo by crew member Chunk as a fey art teacher. He doesn't have to perform sexually, as his scene introduces lesbian action by the fetching Kissy Kapri and Marlie Moore.
It becomes clear early on that the chance meeting of joggers Seth Gamble and MILF Ariella Ferrera will lead to sexual fireworks, and the fun of the DVD is getting to that foregone conclusion.
We're introduced to Seth's girlfriend Adriana Chechik as Seth pops the question, giving her an engagement ring and earning not just "Yes!" but a hot sex scene to boot. Given that Sweet Sinner is dedicated to naturalistic sex rather than hokey playing to the camera, Chechik avoids her squirting gimmick entirely.
Ferrera is in an unhappy marriage to Steven St. Croix. convincing in one of his least sympathetic roles. He is short with Ferrera, barely even civil, and is cheating with lovely Anastasia Rose on the side. Rose is an appealing performer, but her career has amounted to little more than fetish video assignments to date.
Chechik invites Seth to dinner to meet her parents, but Steven, found out by wife Ariella for cheating, is on the outs and doesn't show up. That leaves just the three of them to dine, with Avalon carefully delaying the moment of truth when Seth and Ferrera discover their flirtation after jogging is trouble. Chechik storms off angrily, leaving the duo with egg on their faces, but since this is a porn movie they manage to segue to hot sex together as an open-ended solution to the dilemma. One wonders what Chechik will do next, but once the final money shot has been delivered on AF's belly, the story ends, as usual.
It doesn't hold up well, as only one of five vignettes has dialog, the others falling into the generic all-sex category.
Jill's familiar contract beauties impress physically, including Alexis Amore humping Nick Manning (who forgets to exclaim his moroic catch-phrase "Droppin' Loads!" during his money shot) and Tyler Faith.
Veteran porn director Wesley Emerson gets the credit but offers nothing exceptional in the result.
For me, the top takeaway comes in a segment titled "She Was Me", which concerns Lena Paul discovering that her husband Mick Blue's mistress is a young lookalike for herself. This causes her to engage in some role-playing that is both arousing and thought-provoking.
Playing the mistress is busty newcomer Gabbie Carter, who also appears in another recent Kross release "Relentless". Gabbie has the most beautiful breasts of any new actress, and not only are they large and natural-looking but her aureolae are of the large and appealing nature associated with such stars as Havana Ginger of a decade or so back. Carter is a major discovery.
Kayden gives her fans quite a thrill by returning to the screen, co-starring with her former Digital Playground contract star Riley Steele in "Play With Your Life". This two-hander featuring KK as the femdom and Riley as her sub is a terrific exercise in style within the fetish genre, and notable for KK's self-spotlighting of her trademark pointy nipples.
"Want" is a BDSM vignette featuring Kenna James with an entirely new look, overly made-up as a dominatrix, showing off her petite sex slave Megan Marx for potential master Ryan Driller. The resulting threesome is strong gonzo content.
Finale is titled "Don't Let Me Stop You", similar to some group-sex material in "Relentless" as a foursome made up of Morgan Rain,Paige Owens, Kyle Mason and Jessy Jones go through their suggestively kinky paces.
Title is a case of Bad is Good (following the colloquial tradition made most famous by Michael Jackson's "Bad"), as the four femmes might be misbehaving, but in an audience-pleasing fashion.
One episode stands out in particular, as actress Nikki Vicious gives on-line date Ruckus a bewildering time, as she boasts to him about her other on-line conquests. He wants to leave, but she seduces him and they both have a reasonably good time XXX style, but the scene is unsettling because of the rather subtle appearance (in deep focus) of a guy spying on them momentarily from around the corner of the room early in the scene.
Vespoli is expert at not emphasizing this visual element, which actually escaped my view the first time I watched the scene, but resolves it at the end with Nikki's clarification that her earlier verbal reference to her daddy was to her sugardaddy, clearly a guy who gets off (hotwifing style) on watching his woman make love to another man.
Adding to the fun of this scene is Nikki's improv dialog, actually funny, and her occasional glancing over toward the camera, as if seeking director Dana's approval.
Casey Kisses is the cover girl and star of the show, oddly looking a lot like mainstream porn actress Alexis Fawx in her DVD photo. She plays a singer with laryngitis, who writes on a board to communicate with subordinate Chad Diamond. He wants time off to attend a Jefferson Starship concert (Casey's written reply is that the band is no good, compared to predecessor Jefferson Airplane), but Casey insists she needs him with her instead.
After milquetoast Chad phones his wife to tell her the concert date is off, Casey relents, and I found it almost touching the way Dana has directed her to write silent apologies, changing the mood of the scene. Then she turns into the tiger the audience is expecting and forces Chad to have sex with her, including pegging him in the rear (bareback) in several positions before her money shot.
A more sentimental scene involves an intriguing role reversal, as Sebastian Keys is distraught that his girlfriend of five years is suddenly leaving him high and dry. Bespectacled TS star Stefani Special is portrayed as utterly selfish, ready to move on to another man, and Keys' feelings be damned.
They have sex one last time, and the sex scene plays quite well, with a subtle touch that Keys is choking her (but in a good way, kinky sexually speaking) just before his money shot in the mouth.
Living up to the show's title, Natalie Mars plays a realtor willing to help home buyer with his financing problem (he had a bankruptcy a while back) in return for some lovin'. The humping with Jaxton Wheeler against a white on white decor backdrop is solid, and twist ending eminently predictable.
The sole lacklustre segment here dispenses with the usual set-up, with no dialog. Instead we have petite masseuse Bobbi Dylan starting the scene by covering herself with the Nuru seaweed jel from Japan, as customer Ryan McLane watches voyeuristically. Of course they segue to massage and XXX sex, but even the ritualistic nature of this peculiar genre is omitted, making the footage generic.
The other three are winners, all featuring wonderfully busty actresses. Blade leads off with a nod to Brit Porn royalty, as Lexi Lowe, not typically a performer in American productions, is sunbathing on vacation when recognized by old friend from Blighty Marcus London, working at the resort. He gives her a freebie massage, and sex to boot, with both seasoned performers excellent in both their acting and XXX assignments.
For one of my favorite all-time Oiler episodes, the immensely built (and fake-looking) Courtney Taylor, replete with orange sun tan courtesy of Suntan Parlor action not good ole Sol, reprimands neighbor Tyler Nixon for swimming in her pool. But then he turns up as a customer at her salon, and sexually blackmails her into giving him a rubdown (and the XXX extras that go with it. Taylor is utterly convincing in her displeasure with the boy, though of course she enjoys the humping as usual.
A departure from convention casts Ryder Skye as a butch-styled worker renovating the salon, who is cajoled by hyper customer Lucas Frost into filling in as a masseuse in order to satisfy his Massage need. Ryder keeps a straight face during this rather absurd scene (believability is never a strong suit for director Blade who prefers to get on with the sex), and services Frost with gusto.
Also unusual here is the inclusion of a two-parter, as the first two sex vignettes out of four on the DVD concern a group of four characters, humping two by two to fill half the running time. And the duration clocks in at just under two hours, putting the lie (for once) to the boiler-plate claim on the DVD back liner boasting "Over 2 Hours".
Dana DeArmond dominates the first half material, playing (with her distinctive bangs but a lighter brown hair style than usual) a Thornhill U. girl who gives young high schoolers Mylie Ann and Ashley Rae a hard time, upon the visit of their teacher AJ Bailey who reports a case of cheating on a math test.
Dana smoothly launches into domination mode, forcing the kids (both quite underage looking) to strip and make soft love to each other prior to pairing off with the older femmes for some hardcore Sapphic sex. Dana gets Ashlyn while Miley is assigned to Bailey.
For the fans, this scene is obviously a crowd-pleaser, with the two newbies on display, but there is zero credibility to the action, as Bailey has made it clear that by the book she will be referring the incident to a school committee, likely to expel the girls. Of course, sexual blackmail is a mainstay of Girlfriends content, so AJ immediately goes along with Dana's rather outlandish solution to the kids' problem.
Aiden Starr is cast in her familiar femdom role, dominating buxom Lily Lovely in their vignette. For traditional fans, the final scene has cutting room floor written all over it, as Deauxma is the dom forcing Elexis Monroe to have sex with her, after a brief phone discussion name-dropping "Dr. Snow" (clearly a reference to the label's original leading lady Veronica Snow). The set-up for this scene makes it clear it was an unused vignette from some other series featuring Snow, most likely the "Lesbian Psychotherapists" in which she played Dr. Snow.
He delivered six gonzo sex scenes featuring Continental beauties in action, but forgettable action it is. The visual elan and outre sexual situations are replaced by more generic humping.
Oddest element here is that although she is properly credited on the DVD packaging, on-screen the wonderful Jasmine Black is identified cryptically as "Ana Hot", even though anyone with an ounce of interest in Euro Porn of this era would recognize her immediately. Besides superstar Tarra White (her name sloppily misspelled as Tara), Sarah Twain is showcased well, showing off her long-legged frame.
The studs are the usual gang of overworked performers
Bunny Bleu and Barbie Blake are blonde babes (a whole lot of Bs) working for the title phone sex operation out of a home owned by Ray Wells. They prefer to have real sex and the show's wisp of a plot has Ray ultimately taking note of that fact and planning to turn the place into a brothel instead.
This is a very crummy cast, with only Bleu qualifying as name talent in an era when big names, both female and male were present in so many of the video store New Releases week after week. Why anyone would bother with this one remains a mystery.