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The Perfect Sleep (2009)
If you need to go to sleep, this is your ticket.
Spoiler Ahead! This is without a doubt one of the slowest moving, boring movies I have tried to stay awake through. the monotone and almost monochrome atmosphere of the flick is the perfect anecdote for an insomniac. Not to mention the tired old plot of the evil prince or black knight captures the fair maiden and then the White Knight has to come and rescue her. Same olé, same olé. And not to mention the unrequited love from the white knight, again, same olé. The director should be shot for unleashing such a dragging pace to a movie that does display and exhibit some wonderful cinematography and clever use of shadows, camera angles and excellent film noir narration. The fight scenes are almost laughable with how much punishment the star takes and then within a few hours is completely rehabilitated and ready for action. While most humans would be laid up in a hospital after being kicked repeatedly and severely about the head, shoulders and body. Oh well it is a movie after all. Albeit one that I watched free with my NetFlix streaming subscription and an Apple TV. I'm beginning to understand why these movies are on the NetFlix service. Maybe I'm showing my age but we just went to the theater and saw 'The BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL' and I highly recommend it to lovers of the cinema. Nice pace, great acting and wonderful story.
Desperate But Not Serious (2000)
Total waste of time. SPOILER TO FOLLOW, if that's possible.
How to spoil this movie, that in my opinion would be impossible, it is such a hodge-podge of poor acting and directing I wonder how they got somebody to put up the cash to make it. I could barely get past the first 5 or so minutes, the music was gratingly terrible along with the singers voice and phrasing. I had to 'mute', it to get past it. Nothing after that gets any better. I think the dog was probably the best actor in the movie. I don't understand why John Corbett lowered his standards to appear in this disjointed garbage. I fast forwarded through most of the film looking for something that would prove fruitful. But, alas, that was not to happen until the two stars were sitting on the plane enjoying each others company. Even the crap during the closing credits was preoccupied with homosexual references all the way to the end. Anyhow if you want to see a movie worse than, 'forces of nature', 'code unknown','along came polly' and Wesley Snipes' all time clunker, 'Liberty Stands Still'. This is the flick for you.
Alpha Dog (2006)
Superbly AWFUL !
Are there no sane people left in the world? What ever world you live in? Is there no one there to say, 'Hey, that ain't right"? Why is the only vocabulary spoken in movies anymore start and end with the 'F__k' word" Or some derivative of it?? Are there actually that many girls out there that don't mind being call a C__t, B__ch with every other sentence? I found the whole movie to be lacking in any context of human interactivity. If these people really think like that why would any clear thinking individual associate with them? Not one person with any social redeeming qualities, save for the gal that finally confronts Timberlakes' character with a threat that he'll be sorry! I'm only glad I didn't pay a cent to watch this garbage. A collection of miserable humans feeding and preying off each others weaknesses. Now there's something I want to pay money to see. I can watch the evening news for nothing. Save your money and your sanity, forget this 'not ready for human consumption' garbage. Bruce Willis and Harry Dean Stanton must be hurting for money.
Der Krieger und die Kaiserin (2000)
Painstakingly slow moving and very boring.
This had a very good story and could have been a very good movie, if it had been directed by someone that understood that his audience needed to be entertained while watching his product or at the least kept awake. I was constantly dozing off with the pace of the whole movie. Everyone took an unusually long time before speaking their lines, as if they were trying to remember them. The scenes almost fit together but seemed to be lacking in continuity. Even the final scene is milked for an excessively long time. I presume that is in keeping with the central mind numbing theme to bore the audience out of its' mind. The scene where 'Bodo' is driving the car and sitting in the back seat watching himself is precious. I'm sorry I wasted my time.
3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Too bad the director didn't watch the first movie or read the story line.
I've watched the original several times. That whole movie made a whole lot of sense and even the ending made sense, plus they made you aware of why Wade did what he did. This miserable adaptation made absolutely no sense whatsoever! You've read the ending in other reviews so I won't belabor the point. But, I was stunned at what I watched and came out of the theater feeling duped and cheated. No rhyme reason or song as to why Wade would 'off' his own men who had just gone to extreme measures to rescue him. Did the director think I was stupid? Did the writers think we were all so dense we wouldn't question the motive? Did Russell Crowe ever ask the director, "What's my motivation for murdering my entire loyal crew"? And after that fiasco, we don't get closure as to whether Wade's son gets the money and saves the family ranch from the evil land grabbers. I was so depressed when exiting the theater I wished I could get my money back and the 1 hour and 57 minutes of wasted time.
The Big Country (1958)
The Best Movie I've Ever Seen!
This movie should be required viewing for all high school students. There are so many good lessons about life that can be learned by watching this film that would result in better citizens of the USA. Some people are not smart enough to add 2 and 2. A sea Captain, who sails the oceans of the world for a living getting lost on a cross country horse ride in the 'Big Country' and they can't figure out on their own that he can find his way anywhere he wants to with his compass. When he won't fight in front of everyone he's deemed a coward, But he'll fight when it suits him. He won't ride a horse when he knows they'll make a laughing spectacle of him, but he'll do it on his own and in is own time. The line delivered by Jean Simmons to Carroll Baker, 'How many times does he have to win your love?', is classic and telling. Burl Ives being trod upon by the so called socialite, big shot, Charles Bickford. More class conscious than considerate to another human being. When Burl Ives is more honorable to a fault and shoots and kills his own son for not being an honest honorable person himself. That's character to a fault. But he warned him. 'Be the man I always wanted you to be'. It is just so full of life's lessons it's just the best movie in my list of over 6600 movies that I have viewed.
Superman Returns (2006)
Boring! .....Boring! .......Boring!.....
What a colossal waste of time and computer generated images. I will give all fair warning, SPOILERS AHEAD. Read this revue only if you might not really want to spend your money on a complete waste of time. I don't know why they even bothered to hire a cast of humans, they mostly acted like zombies when on camera anyhow. I almost fell asleep in the first hour of this mess because it moved so slow. The whole premise to this movie is disgustingly immoral. Could Superman be a father?? Was Lois sleeping with both men at the same time? Oh yes Superman is now a voyeur or maybe just a harmless peeping tom. What purpose did 'Kitty' fulfill? OH, I guess it was to hold that cute little dog during the whole movie except when driving the car. What a waste. Kevin Spacey's 'Lex Luthor' was about and menacing as 'Bluto' in the 'Popeye' comics. Mr. Dougherty and Mr. Harris's screenplay was as dumb as it gets. All so predictable. Can anybody explain to me why Superman was affected by the Green Kryptonite when he was standing on the substance but seemingly unaffected by it when he was under it?? Hello! Dougherty, Harris?? Dumb, dumb, dumb. I know it's a comic book character but the comics made more sense and had a certain logic that could be explained. And what happened to the Red cape? This abominable depiction has a dark ugly maroon one and a very fashionable pair of 'hip-hugger' shorts, giving the 'Man-of-Steel' an unusually long looking torso. Plus I was getting claustrophobic with all of the in-your-face close up camera shots. Geez! gimme some space will ya?? Of course this is just my opinion and I'm really glad I attended the matinée so I didn't pay the full price, even though I'd like to have my money back. Or maybe the time spent in the auditorium, I could have done something really constructive with the 2.5+ hours, like sort my sock drawer or watch grass grow.
She's So Lovely (1997)
One of the worst movies I've ever seen
This movie has so many holes in the story I can't believe John Cassavetes wrote it and Nick Cassavetes directed this utter garbage. I didn't care what happened to any of the characters, even John travolta's character was supposed to be the rock solid 'marriage & family' kind of guy, but with his disgusting foul language around the 3 daughters and the appalling disregard for any sense of discipline and wholesomeness for them was shocking. I know, this is real! This is the way it is out in the world! If this be so I truly see the dumbing down of America. These people didn't even have the common sense to come in out of the rain. Hustlers, thieves, not an ounce of compassion. Where do they get the money to produce these things?? I can understand the actors want to make a buck doing whatever. But I can't believe this movie made a return on anybody's investment.
Dark, Disgusting and that's the way it should be, But!
This movie had nothing to do with entertainment! So I guess you would call it Doc-U-Drama. Ms Theron did a fantastic job of portraying this pitiful creature. I guess we're supposed to understand how she became this avenging murderer of men. because of the mistreatment she was subjected to when growing up. But wait a minute, didn't Oprah Winfry have a tragic upbringing?? Hhmmmm? The biggest gripe and criticism I have about the movie is I wasn't able to hear the dialogue through much of the movie. Somewhere along the movie making process the directors or editors have decided to make the sound track louder than the dialogue. For us older senior citizens that reduces us to watching subtitles to understand what the he__ is going on. But to my dismay the DVD I rented only came with Spanish subtitles. Now that is a stroke of genius. I can't hear what the cast is saying, I don't read Spanish, so I got very little from watching this movie.
How stupid do you think the general public is?
What can I say? A woman wants to know more about her religion so she dresses like a boy/man to get into the schooling. OK, so I can buy that. But when she gets married to a woman and starts living with her and the story continues like we are not supposed to realize that sex between husband and wife is not going to happen because??? and this is not going to cause problems and ms. Striesand or Brolin or whatever expects us to be entertained by such nonsense. I couldn't stand the insult to my intelligence and will have to admit that I didn't watch the whole movie. Well I didn't like 'A Clockwork Orange' either and I walked out of Tom Hanks miserable 'Lady Killers' because of the foul language and just down right un- entertainment of the experience up to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. Whatever happened to good movies?
Slow Dancing in the Big City (1978)
All I can say is, I liked it and would recommend it to my friends.
I read with interest the only posted comments on this movie. The author of that comment set herself up as judge, jury, and executioner. She even suggested the movie be watched by film students so as to learn how not to make a movie. Don't you just love it? This is her OPINION. What about my opinion? I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. Paul Sorvino does his usual excellent job of character acting and for Anne Ditchburn's first time out, she did a credible job. Who cares about what exactly her affliction is? The point is she continues on and fulfills her dream. Hey it's only a movie! Oh! maybe because there was not one 'F' word in the movie it didn't measure up to her standards of 'real life drama'. My suggestion, see the movie yourself, make up your own mind.
Starsky & Hutch (2004)
Sophomoronic and Insulting, Warning! Spoiler Ahead.
This is one time where the TV series was much more enjoyable then the movie. Ben Stiller is overacting in almost every scene, Owen Wilson is better but not by much. You'd think we were in church with all the references to Jesus. My intelligence was offended when 'Starsky' drives his car, like a maniac, out into the public street does a couple of 'donuts' in front of other police cars and then does a 180º to pick up his new, unwanted, partner. Williams takes his role out of so many other police dramas with a combative chief and a questionable officer, much like Josef Sommer's role in 'Dirty Harry'. The disco dance off was stupid, the biker bar episode was stupid, the scene in the prison trying to get answers from 'Big Earl' was stupid and insulting. I could go on and on. I wonder why I watched the whole thing? The originals, P.M. Glazer and David Soul, made a nice final scene appearance but nothing could help this pathetic drivel, (3; To talk stupidly or childishly). Pretty much anything that Ben Stiller does is of this caliber. But this is just my opinion.
Flowing smooth direction throughout the entire movie.
This movie is easy to watch and get involved in. Cruise is
engaging and you almost get to like him if it wasn't for his chosen
profession. Jamie Foxx gives the most believable performance of
his career. Usually I can't stand his flippant meager attempts at
slapstick humor. But he excels in this effort. The camera angles
and scene works with reflections from the glass and out of focus
frames was very entertaining. A lot of planning and originality went
into this very enjoyable, dark, movie. Although the ending was not
to my liking. I am a romantic and like happy endings. A brief scene
with Foxx and Jada riding off in their limousine would have been
the way I would have ended it. Oh well Mr. Mann didn't ask for my
opinion. So I take no responsibility for his ending.
The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
Absolutely better than the 'Bourne Identity'.
Matt Damon has found his nitch. I think this could become a series every bit as good as the 'Bond' genre. The movie starts out fast moving and never slows
down. The cast was very good and all the acting is top notch. The story was
coherent and the total package just a joy to experience. Plus I don't think I remember hearing the 'F' word once during the movie. I could watch this one
with my grandchildren and never feel uncomfortable. I will definitely get this one for my DVD movie collection.
The Bank (2001)
An absorbing, interesting story well done.
This story is along the lines of 'Runaway Jury'. Old injustices take
center stage in the mind of the involved and revenge is the goal.
Well done movie. A refreshing change from the 'shoot'em up'
endless car chases and bullets flying everywhere fare and
buildings being blown to smithereens. Well acted, some intrigue
and the vocabulary was not offensive for the most part. I Highly
recommend this movie to anyone wanting to be entertained by a
solid story line, good acting by a lot of unknowns, to me anyhow. I
still haven't figured out Sibylla Budd's character, very enigmatic. It
was filmed in Australia and Italy according to the Internet Movie
The Ladykillers (2004)
Couldn't Stand it, Had to Walk Out!
Terribly OFFENSIVE language from the very first scene, starting with Mr
Wayans. After the 20th or so 'F' word and 'MF' word, I had to leave. I'm no prude but , This movie is nothing like I had thought it would be. Mr. Hanks usually doesn't lower himself to such a crude, crass, absolutely foul mouthed garbage of a movie. The dialog is not something that I would want to sit through with my children or grandchildren. The Coen Boys should be proud of themselves they
continue to sink lower and lower. Hope the don't make money on this garbage.
Shame on everyone associated with this putrid excuse for entertainment.
Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)
A Delightful Chick Flick
Diane Lane does her usual good acting job, she always makes
me believe she is this person. Except for the one and only one 'F'
word that just has to spew from her mouth to satisfy the Hollywood
people, it was really fun to watch. Although the dialog was a bit fast
and mumbling for some of us hard of hearing old folks. It was a
very nice story. So many heartbreaks and disappointments in life
one has to be wary. If the last scene with the old man and the
flowers doesn't bring a tear to your eye you are dead on arrival.
House of Sand and Fog (2003)
Where was the entertainment?
I was thoroughly disappointed with this movie. Warning! Spoiler
Ahead!- Ben Kingsley is superb in the portrayal of his character.
Miss Connelly is the subject of my disappointment . I know her
script was written for her but she could have said NO to the foul
mouthed 'F' word. It took me aback when it spit out of her mouth
the first time and she had to continue using it through the entire
movie. What is it with Hollywood and the 'F' word and guns? I never
felt sorry for Jennifer's character because she was an idiot, foul
mouthed, alcoholic, chain smoking, immoral piece of garbage
blaming her lack of attention to being an adult and taking care of
her own personal responsibilities like paying her taxes or
wallowing in her sorrow and self pity for 6 months that she doesn't
even open her mail. What's to care about? Am I to scorn the
hardworking Iranian/American citizen that works day and night to
provide for his family for taking note of an auction notice in the
newspaper and seizing the opportunity. I don't think so. He's
smart., she's stupid. Connelly accuses Ben of stealing her house.
Hello! The county tax department had no responsibility for the
whole mess? Some would say the movie is an insight to how
some Americans view foreigners. I wonder how some foreigners
would view Americans living in their country. Are they so full of
compassion and vast understanding that they are more tolerant
than we are? Back to Connelly, She reminded me of a child that
can't leave a sore alone, always picking at the scab. She just won't
leave well enough alone. Another display of her stupidity. I'm going
to quit now before I get redundant. Again I ask, WHERE WAS THE
The Transporter (2002)
I started watching this movie with a wary eye, But much to my
surprise it was a treat to watch. The opening had some
unbelievable fare that made you wonder if this was a comedy or
what? Well you get to like Statham and admire his expertise at his
'craft'. The movie moves along at a good pace, some stretching of
the possibilities with driving and parachuting. But all in all I liked it.
Worth the watch.
Dangerous Touch (1994)
Bad casting, coulda been better
Kate Vernon does a good job in this movie, especially given what she had to work with. Lou Diamond Phillips is so mis-cast it is ludicrous. His role needed someone that could pull off being smooth, suave and sophisticated enough to seduce a woman of Vernon's stature. He just doesn't have it. A pierce Brosnan or Hugh Jackman would have been much better. I give Vernon extra credit for great acting opposite a 'Neanderthal' Phillips. Of course this is just my opinion. After viewing over 6374 movies in my lifetime, I feel it is a valid opinion.
The Spikes Gang (1974)
Good lessons in life.
Imagine, a movie that gives a lesson right from the bible, 'Those that live by the sword shall die by the sword'. It was amazing that none of the 3 boys ever said to one another, 'we were better off with our parents'. After doing some of the dumbest things imaginable for young boys and doing it badly you would think
they were smart enough to realize they weren't cut out for being out on their own. Anyhow, the movie was well done, gave you a real feel for what it must
have been like living in the 'Old West'. Plus how hard it must have been to be accepted by a community that knew every detail of every citizen that lived in the area. Maybe the reason for such a poor showing at the box office was the title. Lee Marvin plays himself and does it superbly.
All the Rage (1999)
Interesting but Preachy
This is another attempt by Hollywood to get the general public
incensed against guns. When the truth be known, Hollywood
wouldn't have a thing to write about and make movies about if it
weren't for guns. Take a moment and think about the movies you
have seen lately and long ago. Guns, Guns, and more guns. You
can count on one hand the 'driving miss daisy' type movies that
have come out of Hollywood. In this movie they don't want you to
pay attention to the lack of morals demonstrated by almost all of
the characters. Just think about the guns. The story was
interesting with the interplay of how the characters were at one
time or other involved with one another.The last good movie I saw
was 'Secondhand Lions'.
The Sweetest Thing (2002)
Whatever happened to Class ??
S P O I L E R !!! This is one of the most disgusting forays into humor that I have
tried to sit through in a long time. Whatever happened to feminine
women that looked like someone you would like to come home
to? The scene portraying the act of fellatio with a bevy of on
lookers breaking out into song was as far as I could go. I shut it off
after that. Like I asked up front, what ever happened to class?
Vampire's Kiss (1988)
Typical vampire idiocy
You might view this review as one big spoiler, Nick Cage seems to
have been studying Bela Lugosi's movements and characteristics
for his unforgettable, (unfortunately for us and him) portrayal of a
vampire victim. The scene where a bat appears is another take off
of the early Lugosi movies, and not done much better than they did
back then. I can't believe I sat through the whole movie. With
Elizabeth Ashley and Maria Conchita Alonso, I kept thinking it
would get better. But alas! It was not to be. Don't waste your money
renting this one. Watch it on the late show as I did when there was
absolutely nothing else on.
The End of Violence (1997)
I guess I'm just stupid. I wonder why any actors would subject themselves to a movie without a plot. Poor dialog, endless dribble supposed to be 'new age' poetry or 'Noir' 'Hip' ??? Bill Pullman seems to be in a coma throughout the whole movie. Still haven't figured out why he stayed so long in self incommunicado?? As for traci Lind, Define this movie for me, PLEASE! ,Terrible, defiine terrible,= The End of Violence. Of course, as always, this is just one mans opinion.