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The Associate (1996)
A Poor Script Undermines Decent Acting.
I live in Michigan, and we actually have some nearby Family Videos. However, they are closing soon, so they are selling their used DVDs for cheap. My Grandma/guardian bought a bunch from 2 stores, as did I. The Associate was one that she bought, and she asked if I would watch it with her. I said sure, but I wasn't too amused with the overall product.
The Associate stars Whoopi Goldberg as Laurel, a woman who doesn't get a promotion at work on the basis that she is not a man. As an act of retaliation, she makes up a partner for a work project. Her boss wants to meet him, but since he is fictitious, we hear the constant excuse that he's either out of town or on vacation. Soon, the co-partner must appear at an award party, and a friend who does makeup for strippers comes to the rescue.
To start with the things I liked about The Associate, it is a well shot movie(on that note, it's from the director of Miss. Congenialty), and Whoopi's acting is a pleasure to watch, although her character is not. I'll get back to that in a minute.
The movie is also entertaining often, and apart from Whoopi, Dianne West as her best friend was a great performance, my favorite one, in fact.
Finally, on a rare occasion, The Associate did make me laugh. For a comedy though, I wanted a bit more laughter than what I got.
However, I had a lot more problems than I do praise. To start, while Whoopi shows her acting talent in this movie, I failed to see why I should care for her character. A majority of what she says are lies- who her partner is, where he is, that he exists, etc. I understand that was the only way for her ideas to get across, but as she tells more and more lies, I felt less and less sympathy for her.
What lies does she tell? Well, for starters, When Laurel is asked what her partner's name is when in a bar, she's like ummm...and looks at the alcohol bottles behind the man who asked.
One is called Cutty, so she says "Mr. Cutty." Someone later asks the same question and when they hear "Mr. Cutty", they say, "Oh, like the whisky?" I had 2 thoughts: "No kidding" was first, and the other was: "Shouldn't that be a clue that she's making this up?" Good thing she wasn't looking at a bottle of champagne!
Countless times in the movie, Laurel's boss asks her to see Mr. Cutty. She repeats 2 excuses- He's out of town on business, or he's on vacation. They never question either response, aside from complaining about how he never shows up. That really annoyed me. He's never shown his face, he's barely contributed to the company, and he can't attend any meeting the boss asks of Laurel.
When Laurel first takes the job, it is required for Mr. Cutty to show up, but since he is "out on business", they make an exception and give her a check for $100,000. Are you kidding me?
"Your partner needs to be here before you can be paid."
"He's not here, he's in another country."
"Oh, okay...here's $100,000."
Also, if you never show up for your job, don't you, um...get fired? No one wants to fire Mr. Cutty for not showing up, even when the excuse is that he is on VACATION from the job he hasn't even started, a point no employee at the business brings up or questions extensively.
To move on, every character in this movie is an IDIOT. Apart from Dianne West, who figures out that Laurel is Mr. Cutty on her own, no one can figure out that Mr. Cutty is fake. When only your 2 main characters have any sort of intelligence, I'm sorry, but you have not made a great movie.
The movie is also unoriginal, since the plot clearly borrows from the likes of Mrs. Doubtfire and Tootsie. All 3 of these movies are about someone disgusing themselves as the opposite sex to get what they want. However, Mrs. Doubtfire and Tootsie are FAR superior movies.
Speaking of which. Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams are convincing as women in their respective movies, but Whoopi does not make for a convincing white man. Even for a movie, I couldn't beleive anyone saw "Mr. Cutty" and bought that "he" was a man. Eddie Murphy does a better job being a white man in both Coming To America and The Nutty Professor. And yes, he's a guy, but still!
The film's message seems to be a pro-feminism one, since Laurel is discriminated against for being a woman and she fights against it. I have no problem with that message at all- I do believe that such a discrimination is wrong and that it should be fought against.
That said, I don't see how lying to get a better position is a fair basis for equality. Lying so extensively doesn't really make for a strong, independent woman. If I had written this script, I would have had her quit the job and start a business that is just as successful, if not more.
In fact, as I was watching this, I thought of the Disney movie Mulan, where she pretends to be a man so her elderly father doesn't have to fight in war. She also lies about being a man, but a)she does a much better job covering it up, and b)there was a more worthy cause. Laurel could have quit her job. Mulan had to keep going to do what is right. Yes, I have compared a live action movie to an animated one, and that should speak volumes.
If you want better movies that are both good and feminist, then see: Erin Brockovich, Fried Green Tomatoes, Iron Jawed Angels, or Thelma and Louise. And, as a bonus, Whoopi Goldberg does a better job displaying this message in The Color Purple.
As I said, Whoopi and Dianne West both gave great performances. If that is all you care about, you may like this movie. But as a whole, I don't recommend The Associate. It has a great message, but not a great story. And you need both to make a good movie.
Reverse Reccomendations: Apart from The Color Purple, better Whoopi Goldberg movies include: The Lion King, Blizzard, and Rat Race.(Be in a silly mood for that one.)
The Night of the Hunter (1955)
A Horrific Masterpiece. (Mild spoilers.)
If you were to ask me what movies come to mind when you say "masterpeice", The Night of the Hunter would be one of the very first movies I would name. When I watched it for the first time back in August, I was stunned. It has stayed on my mind since. I just saw it a second time on TCM, and it's even better.
The Night of the Hunter stars Robert Mitchum as Harry Powell, a runaway convict who disguises himself as a preacher after discovering that a cellmate on death row stole $10,000 and hid it in his property. After marrying and killing the man's wife, he goes after her kids, and they run away to safety.
While this movie has great performances from Lilian Gish and Shelley Winters, the best actor in this movie is easily Robert Mitchum, who gives a chilling and addicting performance as a wolf in sheep's clothing. Despite all of his talk of the Good Lord and his references to the Bible that please the townsfolk, the kids know his true colors and that's when Mitchum shines the most.
He also should get credit for making a hymn creepy for me. Whenever he travels, he sings: "Leeeannning, leeeannning, safe and secure from ALL ALARMS... Leeeannning, leeeannning, leaning on the everlasting arms." While that might give comfort in a church, Harry Powell ironically invokes fear with his chilling voice.
The Night of the Hunter is also the directoral debut of actor Charles Laughton, and a fantastic one at that. The direction is powerful in many ways, such as the shot where the mother's hair waves in the water when Powell kills her.
There is also a scene where Lilian Gish's character Racheal Cooper duets Leaning on the Everlasting Arms with Powell. The "preacher" is in darkness as he sings, but Racheal is covered in light, symbolizing that she walks in The Light while this supposed man of God does not. If you pay attention to the visuals, you can spot many clever details like this that only enhance the story.
Sadly, this movie was not well received originally back in 1955(it wasn't even nominated for Best Picture somehow!), and that discouraged Laughton from directing another movie. That is a real shame, because this is so well crafted. Luckily, time has been good to this movie, and many now hail it for the great piece of cinema that it is.
I would love to share more about the brilliance this film contains, but I would only spoil it for you. All I can say is that no horror film(that is what it is by definition) has shook me more than this one has, all without jump scares or bloody gore.
The Night of the Hunter truly is a masterpiece, and it's one of the finest movies I have ever seen. It would also be considered as my favorite horror film. For those who can handle the horror, I can't recommend this movie enough. I probably will never forget this film, and I don't want to anyways.
War Room (2015)
A Christian Woman's Marriage Improves When She Comes Out Of The Closet.
I'm a Christian and faith based movies are my favorite genre of film, with The Prince of Egypt and Ben-Hur on the Biblical end and The Apostle and Silence on the Christian end.
I also enjoy the Kendrick Brothers movies(like Fireproof and Courageous). I understand that they're not Citizen Kane, but they have their heart in the right place and I find them moving and faith-inspiring. On that note, I used to like War Room, and in fact a couple years ago I watched it on Christmas Day. But there are issues that I have had with the movie that I can no longer ignore. That's what I intend to analyze here.
The plot follows a realtor named Elizabeth, who's marriage is falling apart since her husband Tony is selfish, away from home all the time, a womanizer, and simply a jerk. Elizabeth gets frustrated and doesn't know what to do.(Divorce is never brought up, but Jesus would have allowed it in this case- Matthew 5:32 arguably could be used for this justification.) Enter Ms. Clara, a very devout Christian who is selling her house.
Ms. Clara gets nosy about Elizabeth's marriage, and finds out that she isn't very active in her faith. So Ms. Clara shows her a closet- her War Room. Here, she prays out her concerns and God over time eventually answers them. She therefore encourages for Elizabeth to make her own War Room and pray for her marriage to heal. And it also works for her. After all, there is no Satan in here, this is the War Room!
From a Christian perspective, I do kind of like this movie. I don't think it's boring, and there are moments I really enjoy. For example, there is a scene where a man with a knife tries to rob Elizabeth and Ms. Clara and instead of complying, Ms. Clara says: "You put that knife down, in the name of Jesus!" That's a funny scene, and other portions are enjoyable on their own.
But there are numerous problems with the movie, in story and in theology. I will start with theology first.
Prayer is certainly an important part of Christian living. Jesus encourages us to pray, and even though He was God in the flesh He constantly prayed to God the Father. But how prayer works in the War Room is not Biblical, nor does it work in real life, where the moral is supposed to be lived out.
Here's a prime example: In one scene, Elizabeth is in her closet praying after receiving a text that her husband is having dinner with another woman. She prays for God to "stand in his way" and as soon as she says "Amen", he gets up from the table and pukes from food poisoning.
"God, stop Tony from being adulterous."
"Okay, I'll give him FOOD POISIONING!"
What is this, the vengeful God of the Old Testament? Also, I understand that this is supposed to demonstrate that God can answer our prayers, and that is certainly true. But God is not a genie. We shouldn't expect Him to be Robin Williams in Aladdin.
I was abused when I was 14(7.5 years ago) and I had to pray everyday for about a year for it to end. My stepfather was never sick from my prayers, nor did God intervene during a prayer. I had to wait for His will to come through for my suffering to end. If I had prayed to the god of War Room, I wouldn't have gone through half the things I did.
But apparently that's how prayer works here. The more Elizabeth prays, the better Tony becomes. Kendrick Brothers movies are no stranger to this philosophy, but usually it happens overtime. Grant in Facing The Giants didn't get his new car, fertile wife, and winning team all in one prayer. That all came gradually. Here, it seemed to be boom, boom, boom- blessings from Heaven on sale.
Onto the story level, War Room has a ton of problems as well. The Kendrick Brothers like to put comedy in their films, and they are usually some of the best scenes. In Fireproof, they have the Wrath of God hot sauce scene, and in Courageous there is the scene where Javi orders lunch in Spanish in a threatening manner.
War Room has jokes that may work the first time but go stale overtime. Ms. Clara delivers a few of these. When she sees Elizabeth using a smartphone, Ms. Clara says: "Oh, you have one of those smartphones. I can only talk on my cell phone. It must be a dumb phone." In another scene, Ms. Clara is showing Elizabeth around her house and she says that one of her favorite rooms is her "sitting room."
"What do you do here?"
"Mostly sit."
THAT is the humor here. Elizabeth also has a smelly feet problem and many jokes are about that! In another scene, a postman subtly jokes about her bad morning breath.
The movie is 2 hours long and yet there are scenes that could be cut out. For example, Tony and his daughter Danielle do a Double Dutch tournament and it has no service to the story. Yes, it shows a Dad re-connecting with his daughter, but that was shown before. (I used to watch a YouTube channel called Christian Nutrition, and he mentions that it's pointless in one of his reviews- "The Cheating Scales of Bullamanka.")
I also mentioned how Ms. Clara gets nosy about Elizabeth's personal life. Even when I liked the movie, I found it cringy that she would be so pushy and preachy to Elizabeth. Again, I'm a Christian too, but if I walked into a stranger's house and they started saying I need to pray more and all that, I would feel really awkward.
The Kendrick Brothers usually make good Christian movies, that is, when compared to movies like God's Not Dead. However, I have to consider this to be a fork in the road for them in all honesty. I didn't even cover every issue I could point out, but you get the idea. I do support their work though, in fact the post-War Room movie of theirs, Overcomer, is their best film yet. (Consider that to be my "reverse recommendation".)
Here's my main advice to them- Martin Luther once met a cobbler who had just become a Christian. He asked Luther how he could be a good Christian shoemaker. Luther told him this, and I'm paraphrasing: "A good Christian cobbler doesn't show his faith by putting crosses on his shoes. He shows his faith by making good shoes."
I fully support the Kendrick Family making faith based movies, but I don't think they should be like War Room, which simply has a cross on the cover. Instead, they should put faith to film simply by making good films.
Post-Review Note: One of my favorite YouTubers, Say Goodnight Kevin, has a review that digs deeper into the problem War Room has. It's an excellent video and a worthy alternative to the movie- you can see the major scenes and see it's flaws explained well. He also has a podcast where he interviews the director Alex Kendrick in the 2nd episode, which is riveting.
In the podcast, Alex says that he welcomes constructive criticism for his movies. I hope, if he reads my review, that he takes this to heart in the well-meaning way that I intend. He is one of my favorite directors, I just hope he heeds my critiques.
The Sound of Music (1965)
A Movie That Can't Get Enough Praise, It's That Wonderful!
I can't count how many times I have seen The Sound of Music. If I had to estimate, I'd say about a dozen. I believe it was the first non-Disney live action movie I had ever seen, and I would have been 7 or 8 years old, and I am leaning towards the former.
Many know of the plot already, but for the unfortunate soul who has never seen The Sound of Music already, the plot centers on Maria, a nun who must leave her abbey to care for 7 children. Overtime, she teaches the kids how to sing and in time she softens the heart of their father, who has been uptight towards them since the death of their mother. Then, to avoid spoilers, let's just say Nazis play a part in the final act.
The Sound of Music is a pure delight from start to finish. I don't know how else to put it. Even with a runtime of nearly 3 hours, it never fails to entertain or enchant the audience. And there are many reasons for this.
For one thing, the movie is of course known for the songs since it's a musical. My personal favorite as a kid was My Favorite Things, where Maria cheers up the kids during a harsh thunderstorm. Now, I appreciate Climb Every Mountain the most, where the Mother Superior tells Maria that she should tell the Captain that she loves him.
Other classic songs the movie includes are: Do-Re-Mi, 16 Going on 17, Edelweiss, I Have Confidence, How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?, and, along with many others, there is of course the titular song that opens the movie.
The actors are all worth some praise as well. Julie Andrews plays Maria and it deservedly become one of her most iconic roles. It's interesting to note that she almost didn't take the role since it was too similar to her role in Mary Poppins, which she had just finished. Thank God she took the role, because the movie wouldn't be the same without her. She plays Maria with lots of charm and she is wonderful in each scene she is in.
The Captain is played by Christopher Plummer, in what most likely IS without a doubt his most famous part. He is wonderful playing a strict father in the first half and a caring one in the 2nd half that is not afraid to show his hatred for Nazism. What's shocking to note is that he actually originally hated the part, saying working with Andrews was like getting hit in the head with a Valentine's Day card.
He also was drunk in the scene where he dances at the party with her because he wanted to forget filming it. However, I have heard him say in an interview that a Make A Wish girl said that she wanted to see the movie with him, and when he grudgingly agreed, he ended up loving the film.
Most of the other roles don't have other notable roles, for example the kids didn't do much else, but they are all wonderful in their parts.
And what works most with the movie is the emotional level. Every scene is sure to make you beam, and the film itself is simply one of the most feel good movies of all time. That really is the most I can say without spoiling the whole movie.
I simply can find no fault in this movie. As a kid, I disliked the first 2 minutes, where mountains and hills are shown and wind is heard. Now I embrace that part as well.
I just saw it on ABC with my Grandma. Usually I ask her what she would rate the movie on a scale of 1-10, and she rarely gives a 10. (I am currently aware of 15 movies that she would rate a 10). When I asked her to rate this, she immediately said 11. I don't blame her. The Sound of Music really is that great.
As I watched the movie, I noticed how family friendly it is. There's no profanity, drugs apart from some drinking, and no sex. I can name very few live action movies that I can say are as clean as this, and that is worth the highest of praise. I wish more movies could be like that today, an original movie that can appeal to both young and old and endure for all time.
There's a reason this airs on TV every year, and many have seen this repeatedly. I have 2 close friends who have seen it more than I have, most likely. Unlike them however, I am a man. Gender simply does not matter for this movie.
Until time ends, this is one of the classics that will continue to endure. I am forever grateful for that. I could give more praise, but I will stop here. You will understand when you see the movie. The Sound of Music is a film everyone needs to see and cherish in their life, and that undermines how wonderful The Sound of Music is.
Simply put, any words in the English language would be insufficient to explain how marvelous it is. It's that wonderful. You just need to see it for yourself to understand.
Schindler's List (1993)
If all but a few movies are erased from human memory, let Schindler's List be one that remains.
Schindler's List is simply Steven Spielberg's greatest movie. I dare you to challenge this. Sure, ET is great, and so is Jurassic Park, and so forth. But out of all the movies that Spielberg has directed, how can any of them top the power and importance of this one?
Schindler's List tells the true story of Oskar Schindler, portrayed wonderfully by Liam Neeson. He is a German who saved the lives of over 1,100 Jews during the Holocaust. Schindler does this out of greed, making them low wage workers in his factory for his benefit, but he later does it out of compassion for his fellow man.
That's the theme of the movie that echoes throughout long after the credits roll, and this is where the film's power stems from. The Nazis considered Jews to be "vermin" and not humans worthy of love, care, or compassion. Oskar Schindler over time sees that they ARE in fact worthy, and uses this basic human value to change the world.
Steven Spielberg waited over a decade to make this movie, because even though he wanted to do it after making E.T., he felt that he wasn't ready to tackle the Holocaust yet. (Note that Spielberg himself is Jewish.)
The time he took is well worth it, since he crafted the movie so well. Using beautiful black and white cinematography, he makes this tragic event come alive to those who were not there to see the unspeakable event.
Since this movie is centered around the greatest tragedy in all of human history, the film gains an R Rating for it's realistic violence. Prepare for Jews to be shot, burned, or gassed for what they believe in. It's hard to watch, but it's the most effective quality. There were people who took pleasure in killing millions of their own kind, and Spielberg exposes this horror to perfection.
This shows how Schindler's List won 7 Oscars, including Steven's sole Best Picture win and his first of 2 Best Director wins(the other being for Saving Private Ryan). All 7 are well earned for this fantastic movie.
I first saw this in 10th grade in History class, so I was 16. I would say 15 or 16 would be the best age to see this, and I say that because while everyone should see Schindler's List, it is not for the young, and historical prior knowledge is necessary.
Aside from the flaw of crimes against humanity, my only critique of Schindler's List is that the German accents of Non-German actors are so thick that I needed subtitles to follow the dialogue. Apart from this, Schindler's List is nothing short of a masterpiece.
Despite it's grim subject matter, Schindler's List must be seen, even if just once. Seeing it for the 4th time in my life put it in my top 10. Thank you, Oskar Schindler for your heroic act, and thank you Steven Spielberg for telling us his incredible story. By doing so, you have given us the best movie about the Holocaust ever made.
This is a powerful film that will leave a great impact on you. It should never be forgotten. If all but a few movies are erased from human memory, let Schindler's List be one that remains.
Elf (2003)
A Fun Movie, But A Little Overrated.
Elf is already one of the most popular Christmas movies of all time, so in a way, this may already be kind of a pointless review. But I am going to review it anyways, since I haven't before, and this can be for the people who haven't seen it, or the people who may want to revisit it.
Elf stars Will Ferell, playing an elf named Buddy. When he was a baby, he snuck into Santa's bag while living in an orphanage and ended up in the North Pole, so one of the elves offered to raise him.
As Buddy gets older, he learns that he still has a father(played by James Caan), and feeling like a misfit at home, he decides to go to New York to see him, only to find that there is little Christmas cheer there. Not for long...
To start with praise, this is a really fun movie with my iconic scenes. Mention Elf to someone and see what they quote. They may say: "World's Best Cup of Coffee! Great job everybody!" , or "I'm in a store and I'm singing", or "He's an angry elf!", or even: "Oh, wait, I forgot to give you a hug!" This may rank with It's A Wonderful Life as one of the most quotable Christmas movies of all time.
Because of the lines I've mentioned and the goofy situations Buddy gets himself into, Elf is also a very funny movie. While writing this, I took a break to read the Quotes section on IMDB and found myself smiling and giggling at the favorite lines of others. Even now, the humor still works overall.
Elf also contains many great actors. Will Ferrell is a mixed bag for me, I like some of his work and some of it I don't. However, Elf is easily my favorite of his work. James Caan does a fine job as his Dad, who is a grump at Christmas Time. On the flip side though, it's odd to later see him in a movie like Misery later on in life.
People like Zooey Deschanel, Ed Asner, and Bob Newhart do great in their parts, as well as the other actors. Jon Faverau, the director, also has a cameo as a doctor and a Narwhal. ("Bye, Buddy! Hope you find your Dad!") And to think in 5 years he would direct Iron Man!
Despite the charm Elf has, I do have an issue with it now as an adult who grew up on this movie. Let me explain:
This movie came out when I was 5, and there is no way to count the amount of times I have seen it in the last 17 years. My uncle had the DVD, and most Christmases included watching it, up until I was about 12. Let's assume that's 6 Christmases, since we may have not watched it EVERY year. There were a few times I saw it at school before winter break, let's say about 4 times.
I also got the movie on DVD for Christmas when I was 11 or 12, but I think I used that DVD once. I also have a friend who owns it and we've seen it twice together. That alone makes for about 13 viewings that I can remember, again in 17 years.
That is where my "flaw" with Elf comes in. There's some movies I can see again and again, and as I have gotten older, I have realized that this isn't exactly one of them.
It's still a fun movie, but for lack of a better term, my viewings of Elf are somewhat tainted due to how many times I have seen it. For example, when I was a kid I used to find this funny:
"Okay, everybody, Santa's coming..."
"SANTA! OH MY GOSH!...I know him!"
Which is cute and all, but I dare you to watch that a dozen times in a row and not get annoyed. That is how that scene feels now, kind of.
Does that make it a bad movie? Not at all. I just don't have the same appreciation of it as I did in say, elementary school.
On that note, Elf released in theaters on November 7th, 2003. My favorite Christmas movie, Love Actually, happened to be released on the same day. And not only is that my favorite Christmas movie, but I consider it to be one of the best movies I have ever seen, and I have gladly seen that about 5 times, it's that wonderful and charming. Elf doesn't quite do that for me on that level.
So do I reccomend Elf? Of course. I'm not a Scrooge or a Grinch for crying out loud! But I would have higher suggestions for Love Actually, It's A Wonderful Life, Scrooge from 1970, Prancer, and other personal favorites.
I will most likely see this more times later on, and I'm okay with that. Is it one of my favorite Christmas movies? Not exactly. Is it still a good time? Yes. Elf is like Buddy's favorite food- spaghetti with syrup and sprinkles. It's super sweet, but not to be digested in large amounts.
VeggieTales: Merry Larry and the True Light of Christmas (2013)
The Last Veggie Tales Christmas Show Is One Of The Best Of Them.
Merry Larry and the True Light of Christmas is the last Christmas special VeggieTales did. Well, there is also The Best Christmas Gift, but that is from the spin-off The Veggie Tales show, so I am not counting that. (Plus, I have yet to see it.)
The movie is set in a mall, where the manager Philip(a clear reference to creator Phil Vischer) is obsessed with the materialism of Christmas. He wants to fill the mall with all of the lights he can in celebration for the holidays and for publicity.
However, his assistant Merry Larry meets a little girl named Christina, who is selling homemade cards to raise money for her neighbor, whose house burned down. He is so moved by her actions, that he wants to see her again to see how he can help more. Along the way, he is able to show Philip that the "true light" of Christmas is the one who's birth we celebrate that day.
I personally think that this is one of the best Christmas episodes. If I had to rank them, they would go: The Star of Christmas, Saint Nicholas, Merry Larry, Little Drummer Boy, and The Toy That Saved Christmas, making this 3rd out of 5th place.
So why is this rated so highly for me? I suppose part of it is how fun it is. I don't really know how to explain it more than that, other than it's funny and just simply a good time. It also has some of the best animation to come from VeggieTales videos.
Due to the addition of Christina, the episode is also very touching along with amusing. Through her act of kindness, the episode gets emotional as well, along with the moral that Christians should center on Jesus, not decorations or gifts.
This video also has one of my all-time favorite Silly Songs, which is called Wrapped Up Myself For Christmas. It's kind of self-explanatory, but Larry was wrapping gifts and he got trapped in wrapping paper. The song is catchy and the results are amusing as well.
In conclusion, Merry Larry, like the previous Christmas episodes in the series, is a great, fun, heart warming time for the whole family- adult and child alike. I would reccomend the Veggie Tales specials over Rankin Bass any day.
Note: I took the 6th off, but I will try to continue my marathon from here. However, instead of 24 reviews there will be around 20. I will also be celebrating more classic/popular Christmas movies for the rest of the marathon.
Sydney to the Max: How the Syd Stole Christmas (2019)
My Favorite Disney Christmas Special, Despite a Continuity Error.
Sydney To The Max is my favorite TV show, and How The Syd Stole Christmas is in my top 3 favorite episodes. (3. Girlz II Women, 2. This, 1. When Harry Met Sydney.) This is a very special episode that can be added to any Christmas tradition, no matter if you watch Disney Channel or not.
The episode focuses on 12 year old Sydney, who hasn't celebrated Christmas at home since her mother Alicia passed away. After a snowstorm prevents them from going to Hawaii, Sydney's father Max decides to do Christmas at home the way his deceased wife did, which digs up memories of the past too much for Sydney, to the point that she would rather spend Christmas with another family.
Meanwhile, 12 year old Max loses a jacket that he was supposed to open on Christmas morning.
Most of the charm the episode has comes from being a fan of the series already. However, if you are just going to watch just one episode of Sydney To The Max, this isn't a bad one to pick.
The moral is also good for anyone who has just gone through a change in the holidays- they are worth celebrating even when loved ones have passed.
In the title of my review, you will notice that there is a continuity error that has been on my mind. It doesn't deter my enjoyment, but I still should mention it to get it off my shoulders.
In a previous episode, Can't Hardly Date, Sydney suggests to her Dad to start dating. She says this to him: "Dad, it's been 5 years since Mom died." The episode happened in 2019, so that means that Mrs. Reynolds passed away in 2014.
In this episode, there are a few mentions of how the mother died 4 years ago. The first flashback to the last Christmas with Alicia even says: "4 years ago." That would be 2015.
The mother died in 2014, but they had Christmas with her in 2015? There's a website called Disney Channel Fandom that has pointed this out as well. And in 2020 episodes, she has still been dead for 4 years, which, unless she died late in the year, suggests that she suddenly died in 2016.
I hope this gets resolved in Season 3. I'd also like to know how she died, but that's not a flaw or anything.
So even though I have that one issue with the episode, I still love it and, like I said, it doesn't stop me from loving it.
How The Syd Stole Christmas makes for a wonderful Christmas special, perhaps the best Disney has ever done. If you want one to accompany Frosty, Rudolph, and Charlie Brown, this is the one I would suggest the most. In fact, if I had to recommend just one special, this is THE one I would suggest the most!
Note: Sydney's best friend Olive, is played by Ava Kolker. Her 14th birthday is today, so Happy Birthday to Ava! May this review be considered as my birthday gift to you! :)
VeggieTales: The Little Drummer Boy (2011)
It Tops Rankin-Bass.
Yes, I said it. I know The Little Drummer Boy from 1968, and as a devoted fan of Veggie Tales there may seem to be some bias there, but even if I didn't love the series as much I would still prefer this to the classic version.
The movie starts with Junior Asparagus waiting for his friends to go caroling. When he thinks his friends ditched him, he feels anger and declares he doesn't want to be friends with them anymore. His grandfather says he should hear a story, and he reads to him the story of The Little Drummer Boy.
Now Junior is Aaron, a Jewish shpherd who loses his parents in a fire started by the Romans. He also feels unforgiveness and hatred in his heart, and he vows to hate people and never be happy again. While living with his animals and with a drum at his side, he meets some greedy show-workers and along the way, he meets a baby that changes his heart and his life.
If you have seen the classic special this is adapting, there is not much surprise here. It sticks very faithful to the story without many changes.
However, there are some nice comedic touches. In the scene where the Magi are introduced, Larry mistakes "Magi" for "Jedi" and makes many clever Star Wars puns- and this is coming from someone who doesn't even care for Star Wars!
Jimmy Gourd also plays a comedian, and even though his audiences don't like his jokes, there are some amusing ones.
"Knock, Knock."
"Who's there?"
"Herod."
"Herod who?"
"Her-od any good jokes lately?"
Apart from the humor, The Little Drummer Boy is also one of the most touching episodes of VT, not only for when the song is sung, but when Aaron meets the baby and changes his heart, it's very moving. There is also a change from the 1968 version that is very satisfying, but I won't spoil it.
The Silly Song is also an animated bit from the very 1st Christmas CD- The 8 Polish Foods of Christmas. Based on The 12 Days of Christmas, a Polish caterer serves 8 of his native foods and stuffs the party guests he is serving. There's not that much else to say there, other than it's fun and catchy.
While the Rankin Bass special is good, I highly prefer this version. The Little Drummer Boy isn't my favorite Veggie Tales Christmas Special, but it is very moving and will probably put tears in your eyes. In fact, I am very certain that it will.
VeggieTales: It's a Meaningful Life (2010)
It's A Meaningful Movie.
When this was released over a month after my 12th birthday, I was already familiar with the film it was parodying, It's A Wonderful Life. I saw it the year before at Christmas Time and fell in love with it, and the fact that this came out 10 months later was really special.
Now, while Veggie Tales is most known for how they tell Bible stories, they are also known for their movie parodies. Beforehand, movies like Lord of the Rings, The Wizard of Oz, and Raiders of the Lost Ark all got parodies, and they are well done and clever. It's A Meaningful Life is no exception. And this was a rare time where I had seen the movie before the parody.
It's A Meaningful Life stars Larry as Stewart, who's wife's name is Donna. This is a clear reference to who plays George and Mary in the original movie- James Stewart and Donna Reed.
When Stewart was younger, he got in an accident in a football game that made him unable to play sports again. He ends up coaching kids and running his Dad's toy train factory. However, he still feels that had he won the football game(instead of his now famous friend), his life would be better, and more meaningful.
Enter Gabe, who is similar to Clarence in IAWL. While Clarence took George to an alternate reality where he was never born, Gabe takes Stewart on a train ride to see what his world would be like had he won the football game. Stewart sees how his fame and fortune would change him, and he realizes how important it was for him to be a father, husband, coach, and toy factory manager.
Since this is a parody of It's A Wonderful Life, there are many other clever references to the movie. For example, there is a scene where What-If Stewart is eating out with Jimmy Gourd. At one point, Jimmy rings a bell and asks where his spicy wings are. The waiter says: "I'm hurrying! Hold your horses!" in a similar fashion to the scene where George comes to his honeymoon home. Jimmy then rings his bell again and says: "Come on! Every time a bell rings, a customer gets his wings!" I remember my Mom laughing at that the first time I watched it.
Most VeggieTales videos end with a Bible verse, and the one at the end of this one became my favorite verse, and it's still one of my favorties today, that being Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans that I have for you, declatres the Lord, plans for good, and not for evil, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Because of this, and I know this is quite dark and personal, but at the time this came out, I thought about death a lot and I didn't feel very good about myself. Believe it or not, this video is what stopped me from having those thoughts anymore.
If you ever read my review of Where's God When I'm S-Scared, you know that Veggie Tales videos have shaped me into who I am today. It's A Meaningful Life is such an example. Where's God When I'm S-Scared helped me overcome child abuse. This one helped me see that God has a plan for my life, and that is why I am still alive today.
Because of that, if I see the movie now, I tear up at the end. I want to tear up just writing about it now. Yes, this may be just a cartoon, but the lesson rings true anyways.
It's A Meaningful Life therefore makes for a deep episode of VeggieTales and an excellent retelling of one of the greatest movies ever made. Whether you are just a fan of Frank Capra's masterpiece, a VeggieTales fan, or you want a special movie for the holidays, It's A Meaningful Life is a powerful piece of entertainment.
VeggieTales: Saint Nicholas - A Story of Joyful Giving! (2009)
A Christmas Movie To Inspire The Young and Old.
*WARNING: Adult Biblical and historical material is mentioned in my review.*
Even though there isn't a Santa that has flying reindeer and gets to every house in one night, there is a Saint Nicholas, who was a Greek Christian who gave gifts. This animated video shows an origin story of how Nicholas became Santa.
The plot follows Nicholas, a child who flees home after his parents pass away. When he is reminded of the love of Jesus, he goes back home to share that love with others. Back home, it is illegal to give gifts for free, so when 3 daughters break the law and have 3 days to pay the fee, St. Nick comes to the rescue.
Veggie Tales videos will usually take adult stories and tones them down for children. For example, in The Bible, David has sex with a soldier's wife and has the solider killed in war. In King George and the Ducky, this story is re-imagined as a king who sends a kid to a pie war so his rubber ducky can be stolen.
The real story of Saint Nicholas is the same way. Nicholas didn't help the girls pay their tax due to giving gifts, in reality they had to pay to get married or else become slaves or hookers.
However, for the sake of the kids, the gift thing, while silly, at least gets the point across to kids without getting in awkward territory, which is one of the best parts of the video.
The message is really special as well- through Nicholas's actions we learn about the value of giving to others. This movie also dives into what Jesus taught about it, through Matthew 6:3-4a: "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret." This is what inspires Nicholas to help the girls.
Saint Nicholas is one of the touching episodes of Veggie Tales. Yes, it's silly, yes, it's for kids, but adults can take great value from this and families can use it to discuss the real Nicholas and how his Christian faith shaped our tradition of giving gifts on Christmas.
It's not just serious, though- Larry, one of the main characters, keeps making the story more Christmasy since the actual story lacks it. In one scene, Nicholas is about to go fishing, and Larry has the pole set up so when Nicholas is going through his parent's things- he says: "Rake, *hoe, hoe, hoe*...fishing poles!" There are clever moments like this as well.
Like most Veggie Tales videos, there is a Silly Song in the middle. Larry usually sings these, however, a different character- Mr. Lunt- sings this one, where he is asking for others to feed donuts to his dog, which doesn't end well for him. It's not one of the best Silly Songs, but the ending is fun and the song overall is worth it.
Whether you are an adult or child, Christian or of another faith, I highly recommend adding this special to your holiday viewing. It will inspire and move you in a deep way, and it will teach you more about what Santa is all about, while pointing back to the Nativity. What more could you ask for from a Christmas movie?
The Star of Christmas (2002)
The Best Veggie Tales Christmas Special.
If you go through my review page, you will know that I am a huge fan of Veggie Tales, a Christian video series for kids. The series has 5 Christmas specials, the first being The Toy That Saved Christmas, which I reviewed last year on my old page. This one, The Star of Christmas, came out next, and to this day I consider it to be the best one.
The video stars the "hosts" of VeggieTales- Bob and Larry- who respectively Cavis and Millward, 2 playwrights similar to Gilbert and Sullivan. They live in 1880's London, and notice how the news is filled with acts of hatred. They decide to remedy this by putting on a play on Christmas Eve called The Princess and the Plummer. They have the script, set, and actors, but the show will only succeed if the prince sees the show and gives it a positive review. No problem, right?
Well, it will be- because the local church has a Christmas pageant the same night- and a hidden relic- The Star of Christmas- will make it's first appearance in 79 years. Cavis is so determined to have the prince come to their show that he ends up taking drastic measures to make it happen.
The Star of Christmas succeeds on many levels. Big Idea, the company that makes VeggieTales shows, clearly do not have big budgets, however, this episode has some nice looking animation, especially when compared to The Toy That Saved Christmas.
This is also one of the funniest episodes with numerous little jokes and funny scenes. For example, there is a scene where Cavis says he has an idea to make the show even bigger, and Millward excitedly asks: "You got a monkey that can yodel?"
There is also a scene where there is a chase to get to the church in time for the pageant, and many hilarious things happen along the way.
However, TSOC is also a very touching episode. Every VT video has a moral, and this one is what it truly means to love someone. In a jail cell, Cavis and Millward meet a prisoner named Mr. Pincher, who gives a touching speech on what it really means to love, and the church Pastor shows him such an example afterwards.
Because this is a Christian video about the meaning of love, and the setting is Christmas Time, Cavis learns how the Nativity of Jesus is the start of how God showed His love to mankind. As he says to the Pastor: "There is only one story to show us how to really love. And this is it."
In conclusion, The Star of Christmas is a wonderful video for the holidays. Not only is it brief(at only 48 minutes), but it's filled with heart and humor, and even though it's aimed at kids, adults will have fun too and be touched by the moral. Even if the birth of Jesus isn't a big part of your Holiday celebration, this animated special deserves a shot to be.
12/16/20 Edit: This month I have reviewed the subsequent VeggieTales Christmas Specials and Elf. I have decided to not review any other Christmas movies, apart from an edit of A Christmas Carol from 1938. Instead I will be editing some of my old reviews for a while.
Stuck in the Middle (2016)
Family Comes First....If I Am First.
Stuck In The Middle used to be my favorite TV show, but it came to a point where I just couldn't like it anymore. There are various reasons why, and I am here to share them with you.
The show focuses on Harley Diaz, the 4th of 7 kids in a Latino family. She's an inventor and she always helps her family get through tough situations. Sounds sweet, right?
Well, yes, it is. But there are many elements the show has that, as a maturing adult, I can't stand for.
The first example is with Harley herself. In the opener episode, she says that she feels left out and overlooked since she is the middle kid. This is shown when she wants to give a speech at the park and her siblings have other events that same day. By the end of the episode, she realizes that she is what brings the family together, and even though she misses her speech, she appreciates her family and they eat donuts on a table that she invents(her hobby in the series.)
Again, that's sweet. "I'm the middle child, but that brings us together." However, before you go "awwww", note something else.
In an episode called "Stuck In The Diaz Awards", the family has a traditional Oscar-type event awarding the best moments of the past year together. After the first round, Harley notices that she hasn't won any awards. She speaks to the camera often in the episodes, so she tells us that it's bothering her that she hasn't won an award.
Understandable, however she then tells us "But I don't want to be someone who's all 'Waaah! I don't win any awards! People want to vote for a winner, not a whiner." However, she continues to whine and pouts to us when her twin brothers win instead. All is well, though, because she gets a bonus award that's the biggest award of all.
Earlier, in a Christmas special, she tells a mechanic that she feels sometimes like she is left out, and that makes me think- Yeah, you DO feel that way, and then you realize how much your family loves you and you feel silly for feeling that way!
Finally, in the last episode, she has a big 15th birthday party and she notes that she finally realizes that her family loves her and that she is what puts the family together. Wait, that sounds familiar. Oh, yeah, she "learned" that in the beginning! Or not, apparently.
Her siblings aren't much better, apart from Georgie and Ethan. Harley's oldest sibling Rachel is very self absorbed and she literally only cares about other people when she wants to go out of the country for college. She insults her sibling's fashion and has a better-than-thou attitude about style, even to her mother, who only gives her nasty looks instead of reprimanding her.
Harley also has a little sister named Daphne, who suckers her siblings into doing whatever she wants. For example, in episode 2, everyone forgets Harley's birthday(and, by the way, she keeps it a secret to try to get a better car seat), and Daphne agrees to keep it a secret if Harley gives her the birthday money Grandma sent her in the mail.
The kids also lie to their parents a lot and they don't get in trouble for it. In one episode, they let an exchange student sleep on their couch and hide it from them so they can buy a tablet. In another, they let a fisherman rent their house out for money for a trip to Hawaii, and they keep that from her. (And the Dad is in on that scheme!)
In an episode called "Stuck In A Waterpark", a similar thing occurs where the kids spend too much money and they have to hide that from the parents by entering a contest. I watched the premiere of that with a friend and he told me that he hated that aspect. I kind of wish I had heeded that sooner.
I could keep going, but you get the idea. I regret subjecting myself to this for 3 years and having an obsession with it. I really don't think kids should see a show that encourages selfishness, self-pity, and disrespect to family in such a way.
My favorite show now is Sydney To The Max, and while Sydney disobeys her father for the first 3 episodes, she learns her lesson and her character(personality) improves. I can't say that for Harley and her siblings. If you want to see a great Disney show, see STTM instead.
I have rated the show a 1/10. That is not necessarily to cover the whole series, but rather a way to show my discouragement in seeing this. If you want to raise respectful, selfless kids, don't show them this Disney show. Take it from someone who, at one time, saw each episode numerous times.
I said the show is sweet. But so is candy. Would you feed your kid candy repeatedly for 22 minutes numerous times? Well, there you go.
Reverse Recommendations: Better Disney shows to kids would be the aforementioned Sydney To The Max, as well as Coop and Cami Asks The World and Gabby Duran and the Unsittables.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)
A Great Comedy With Lots Of Heart.
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is considered to be the best Thanksgiving Movie Ever Made, and that will probably always be true. Not just because there are few other movies about the holiday, but because of how the classic has deservedly endured these past 3 decades. And not only is it a great Thanksgiving movie, it should be considered as one of the best comedies ever made.
The movie stars Steve Martin as Neal Page, a marketing executive who wants to go home for Thanksgiving. After a snowstorm delays his flight, he meets Del Griffith(played by John Candy), a snob who somehow keeps delaying his trip home. Neal finds him very annoying, but they soon become friends and realize how much they need each other.
This movie was written, produced, and directed by John Hughes, who is also known for movies including but not limited to: The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Christmas Vacation, and Home Alone. While all of these movies are excellent, this takes my pick for the best of his works.
Hughes gives the movie 2 things that make it work so well- comedy and heart. There's a perfect balance of this, so much so that you laugh throughout and by the end your eyes are teary.
Many of the funny scenes in this movie are quite iconic. I will try to describe a few without spoiling too much- there is a scene where Neal and Del share a bed and Del, in his sleep, kisses Neal's ear. The aftermath is quite hilarious.
In one scene, Del makes a wrong turn on a road and the results are both hilarious and tense at the same time. There are many great scenes that I am tempted to spoil, but for your viewing pleasure I will resist it.
This movie also has my favorite movie scene of all time, and it's actually why the movie is Rated R. Neal gets fed up with a rental car agency, and he drops numerous F bombs at a woman at the company. I remember being shocked by it the first time but I laugh every time I watch it now. Just don't watch that scene on TV, it's more cringy than hearing profanity in real life.
In fact, a year ago I showed the movie to a church friend, and I warned her about the scene("It's Rated R for one scene, and I will let you know when we get to it.") and when it ended she said: "You know, I really hate that word, but that was the best usage of it!" To which I replied: "I know, right?"
Apart from the great comedy, PTAA has great drama. In one scene, Neal is fed up with Del and he rants at him, comparing him to a pull-string doll and saying long seminars and reading vomit bags are more entertaining than he is. Del's response is touching as well. (Family Guy even referenced it once.)
And at the end, Neal realizes something about Del which makes for a very touching ending. Again, I won't spoil that for you. Even though Del annoys Neal so much, Neal still does a very noble and generous thing for him at the end.
It should be clear by now that if you need some laughs and tears, or a great movie after your Turkey Dinner, then Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is the one to watch. This is one of those holiday films that will last forever, and that is something to be truly thankful for!
Happy Thanksgiving.
Carrie (2013)
Not Bad, But It Is A Bit Mean To Religious People. (Spoilers are mild.)
If you look at my page, you will see that there are quite a few movies that I used to like and now I do not. Carrie, both the 1976 and 2013 version, is becoming part of that category as well. Obviously for this review I am focusing on the latter version.
It's not that Carrie is a bad movie, far from it, but there is a major element of the movie that I never really cared for and now it's time that I come to terms with it and face the fact that, for me at least, this is not recommendable.
This version stars Chole Grace Moretz as the title character Carrie, a high schooler who is shy and has a religious mother who takes her faith way too far. This gets Carrie bullied and she gets her revenge at the prom.
The movie is very entertainig and well made for a remake. Moretz gives a great performance at just 16 years old and Juilanne Moore is chilling as her mother. From a film-making standpoint, this is a very good movie.
But as I said, there is a major issue I have with the movie. While Juilanne Moore gives a great performance, I cannot stand for what is done with her character. She's supposed to be a Christian who takes her faith overboard. But there are many flaws with her so-called "Christianity."
For example(spoilers ahead), Carrie showers at school and has her first period. Due to her sheltered upbringing, she was not told that this was natural, and so she freaks out- and thinks that she is dying. She is humilated at school for this, and her mother has to pick her up for the rest of the day.
They go home and her mother berates her for her "lust"- demonstrated by her showering with other girls. Carrie explains that it's a school requirement but of course she doesn't listen. She then makes her pray that Eve was weak and that the first sin was intercourse.
Back up a minute! Pardon me but I need to be theological for a moment. If you read Genesis, one of the first commands Adam and Eve are given by God is to "go forth and multiply". Have sex and make babies. Adam and Eve are commanded this and Noah's kids must do this after the Flood. So sex is not a sin. Pre-marital sex, rape, and such are sins, but a married man and woman making love is a God-given gift to strengthen marriage and not a sin.
Second of all, sex was NOT the first sin! The first instance of sex is mentioned in Genesis 4:1. The previous chapter describes Adam and Eve committing the first sin- by eating the forbidden fruit! For someone who is quite a Bible thumper(literally- she slaps Carrie with a Bible in this scene!), she should know this.
Also, it makes no sense to think that sex is a sin- that's how babies are born! That is how Carrie was conceived(the mother tells Carrie that she and her father fell into temptation and she "should have given her to God when she was born") and also- the mother herself was conceived through sex!
This continues and Carrie is shoved into a prayer closet to pray for forgiveness for showering with her classmates. And among other examples of horrible behavior, by the end of the movie, the mother tries to kill Carrie to amend for not not killing her at birth.
I understand that Carrie's mother is an example of how extreme some believers can be, and she is therefore the villain, but that doesn't make it okay to put such a portrayal in a movie. I complained in my God's Not Dead review that all the Christians are good and the atheists are portayed as scum. This movie does the opposite. While Carrie is far better than GND, I can't stand for a movie that portrays Christians in this way. If I can't reccomend a movie where all atheists are evil, how can I reccommend one where the main Christians are evil?
If you can find it in your conscience to see this movie, more power to you I suppose. But I do not intend to see this again, and I hope Carrie is avoided by more people. As a movie, I would have rated a 10- it was one of my favorite movies looking at it as a horror movie. But due to the mother aspect, I can only recommend it to those who would not be offended by such a thing.
Carrie is considered the "Girl from hell". If you ask me, that could be an apt description of this unfortunate movie.
Reverse Reccomendation: To see a great movie about religious hyporcisy, I suggest Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame. To see a better Chole Grace Moretz movie, see Hugo. For a better Juilanne Moore movie, see Magnolia.
Finally, Carrie is based on a Stephen King book. As such, I suggest seeing these great movies instead- The Shining, Stand By Me, The Shawshank Redemption, or The Green Mile. I also enjoyed Misery, which has a religious villian as well, but not to such an extreme. (Gene Siskel noted that it's a clever use of irony in his TV review.) These are all movies I would have a higher conscience with recommending.
Shoah (1985)
This Is Perhaps The Most Important Movie Ever Made.
I wrote this review nearly 2 years ago, but reflecting on my previous words, it seemed to do injustice to what the work of Claude Lanzmann does. Could I ever do justice? Perhaps not, but I will try anyways.
Shoah is the most important movie I have ever seen. I can think of few movies that are even on par with value. In it, director Claude Lanzmann(who passed away a couple years ago) interviews many people- witnesses, survivors, and perpetrators of the Holocaust. These are not actors, these are real people who were part of the worst tragedy mankind has ever endured or caused.
Shoah is a documentary, and for 9.5 HOURS, we hear testimonies of the people who survived and witnessed the "Final Solution." They are all terrifying. They are sad. They are unspeakable. This is what one can to do to his fellow man.
Lanzmann, as I said, interviews many people involved in this tragedy. We meet Abraham Bomba, a barber who cut women's hair before they were gassed. he gets emotional and tries to avoid giving his testimony, but Claude begs him to do so, he must document this information. We learn that he used scissors, how many women received haircuts, and simple information like this.
Bomba regrets what he has done now, hence his inability to discuss it, but we have learned more about this fragment of history from his tough testimony.
We meet a man named Franz Suchomel, an SS who witnessed the screams and tortures of countless Jews. He is so ashamed of what he is apart of, that he doesn't want to be filmed. Lanzmann is recording this testimony in secret, and when Franz wants affirmation that this is confidential and not part of his movie, Claude lies and says it's safe to continue.
It is cruel, but a necessity. We must learn from Franz as well. His testimony is equally as important.
This is Shoah. Interview after interview, we learn more about the Holocaust then we ever could from History class or Schindler's List. More importantly, we learn more about humanity and brotherhood, which makes Shoah so powerful and essential.
I freely confess that this is not the most entertaining movie ever. In fact, on a 10 star scale, I would rate the entertainment value a 6/10. Some interviews are less engaging than others, but that is not the point. However, should that matter? Shoah is meant to inform, not entertain. Should the acts of Hitler be learned from for entertainment value? I sure hope not.
I have read complaints that the movie is too long. Yes, it is 9.5 hours long, but you know what else went on "too long"? The Holocaust. Lanzmann actually had about 9.5 DAYS worth of footage, and his 566 minute runtime is reduced from what he had.
Considering that the horrific event lasted over a decade(and so did the director's work), I think you can give 9.5 hours of your time to learn from it. I watched it in parts, and got it done in about 3 weeks.
It has been 22 months since I have seen Shoah, but I can't think about it without getting emotional or recalling the most touching parts-anything, really, that stuck with me even now. That is the strongest evidence I have of the power of this movie.
It costs $100 plus tax to buy this at Barnes and Noble, but trust me, it is worth every penny. I lent it to a friend who was moved by it as well. Whether you buy it or borrow it, please see it at least once. Shoah is a powerful movie, and words fail me to say how grateful I am that this was made. They always will.
If I had the power to make everyone in the world see one movie of my choice, this is the one I would pick.
Memento (2000)
Look Forward To Seeing This Story Told Backwards.
Nolan does not insult the viewer's intelligence, instead he challenges it, and as a result he creates a unique masterpiece. For those who tire of remakes, reboots, and sequels, and seek a powerful example of creativity, Memento is not to be missed.
Memento is, in my view, Christopher Nolan's best work and one of the best movies I have ever seen. I say this a lot, but I do not mean it lightly when I do. Memento is more than a movie, a way to kill 113 minutes. It is an experience.
Due to it's complex nature, I do not recommend seeing it after a stressful day or while being tired. Memento requires(and earns) your undivided attention. Luckily, the story is so compelling that it sucks you into Leonard's world anyways.
I have nothing but praise for Memento. I needed subtitles to understand the dialogue(a common complaint I have), but reading the dialogue was also a huge help for me to comprehend the plot more, so that is more of an additional plus rather than a flaw.
In fact, some scenes were so impressive and some clever lines were so funny that I found myself repeating many parts over again. Even early in his career, Nolan proved to be a master of cinematic storytelling, both as a writer and director.
Memento was one of Nolan's first movies, and it pre-dates his classics like The Dark Knight and Inception. Even then, 20 years ago, he proved that he had skill- with phenomenal storytelling, great film-making, sympathetic characters, and a compelling plot. The movie runs for 113 minutes, and not a single one made me lose interest.
Apart from the fascinating plot, Memento also has great acting- from Guy Pearce, who plays Leonard, and the 2 main people who help him with his mystery, who are played by Joe Pantoliano and Carrie-Anne Moss.
Memento is a cinematic puzzle, and we are the ones putting it together. It may not all make sense when you are done, but you get what you need and repeated viewings will clear it up.
We also see clips in black and white. They are told in order, however they don't make sense until we get the "end", and they are key events for the plot to wrap up with a bow.
For example, Leonard in one scene finds an empty alcohol bottle. He questions if it is his- but he has no hangover. We then find out in the next scene that it belongs to another man who will lead him closer to solving the case.
If that sounds really complex, then prepare yourself for this- it's told backwards. Since Leonard's memory is backwards, Nolan tells the story in reverse order. One moment something seems odd to Leonard, and therefore to us, but then it is explained to the audience in the next scene.
Who can he trust? What did he learn from them? He doesn't know. And as such, we don't either. All we, Leonard and the audience, can do, is take it one scene at a time and gather the clues. Sometimes that really messes with your head, but that is part of the aforementioned genius.
Memento follows a man named Leonard, who lost his memory after his wife was raped and killed. He wants to kill the murderer as revenge, but every few minutes, and every time he wakes up, his memory is lost. To help him recall key information on his case, he either tattoos them all over himself, or he writes it down in a notepad.
If you were to ask me who some of my favorite directors are, Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, John Hughes, Rob Reiner, and such would be named. Christopher Nolan is another name I would add now. While I am no stranger to his work, Memento is the hallmark of his career, and a testament to his genius.
Casino (1995)
One of the Best Movies From My Favorite Director.
Casino is often hailed as one of Martin Scorsese's best movies, and rightfully so. I first saw it when I was 16, but now 6 years have passed and I admire it more. Not only is it one of my favorite Scorsese movies, but it is one of my favorite movies of all time.
The plot follows Robert De Niro as Sam "Ace" Rothstein, a Mobster who runs a casino. While he gets rich and powerful, his closest friend Nicky(played by Joe Pesci) and his gold digging wife Ginger(played by Sharon Stone) try to take over, and this leads to everyone's fall.
Many elements of Casino justify it as one of Scorsese's finest works. For instance, the main actors-De Niro, Pesci, and Stone- all give some of their greatest performances in the movie.
My personal favorite is Joe Pesci as Nicky, playing the ultimate villian in the movie. He's someone to fear, and that is very effective. In one scene, a casino guest insults Nicky, and in response to this he brutally stabs him in the throat with a writing pen!
In another scene, Nicky tortures a guy for 2 days and nights to get some information out of him. His last resort is a vice tool to nearly squish his head in. His violent behavior bites him back in the end, but I won't spoil that for you. This is easily Scorsese's most brutal film, and that works to it's advantage.
Sharon Stone looks lovely, but it's clear from the moment we meet her that she has an ugly heart. When she and Ace meet, he showers her with wads of cash and mountains of gold jewelry. Her alcoholism and smoking is another story. Ace eventually sees right through her, but removing her from his life proves to be an uneasy task.
Then there is Robert De Niro, in his 8th and final role with Scorsese, that is- until The Irishman. His role as Ace marks one of the best in his career-his whole career, not just with Scorsese. He's a tough guy filled with greed, and he plays both characteristics very well.
Apart from the acting. Casino has some of the best cinematography to come out of a Scorsese movie, up there with The Age of Innocence. In fact, Saul and Elaine Bass did the gorgeous opening title sequence, just like they had done for Age.
Casino is also paced quite well. Even though the movie is a couple minutes shy of 3 hours long, the time goes by very quickly. If you checked the time stamp and you were an hour into it, you would wonder where the time went.
For it's acting, cinematography, directing and other marvelous reasons, Casino truly is one of Scorsese's best movies. Those who love his work- or crime movies in general- should invest the time to see it. Casino is a gamble that is well worth the shot.
A Matter of Faith (2014)
God's Not Dead Rip Off Is Slightly Better, But Skip It Anyways.
It's been a long time since I last saw this, but I have thought about how similar it is to God's Not Dead, and so I am now not the biggest fan of this movie either. This is why I am rating this a 1/10, for the same reasons I rated GND 1 and 2 a 1/10.
A Matter of Faith follows Racheal, a college freshman studying to be a pharmacist. As a field of science, she must study biology in school.
Her teacher of course teaches evolution to the class, and her father doesn't like this. He privately and nicely asks him to not teach it to Racheal because he fears that it will make her lose her faith. The teacher instead asks him to do a debate, and the story progresses from there.
Like I said, this is a lot like God's Not Dead. Not to mention that they both came out in 2014. Both involve God debates between college professors and Christians who are associated with the public school.
One of the problems with the movie is this- if the Dad was so concerned with his daughter losing her faith in creation, why did he send her to a public school that would require her to learn biology?
Complaining that she is learning evolution in biology is like complaining that she is learning about angle degrees in Geometry! What I am saying is, if you don't want her to learn evolution, don't send her to a public school biology class! Biola and Liberty University exists, you know.
Another thing that's odd is how early the teacher teaches evolution. He begins on Day 1 with no introduction or anything. I took Biology in 10th grade 5-6 years ago, and we learned about Darwin's theory in Spring, right after spring break!
Why didn't she learn that "the mitchochondra is the powerhouse of the cell" before this? Oh, right. Because we have to get to the message that atheists are terrible.
In one scene, a classmate makes fun of Racheal for what her Dad will do, and another classmate named Evan asks him the classic "Does your mother look like an ape?" misconception. I'm a creationist myself, but I know that evolution does not teach that monkeys directly birthed a human.
It is lies and misconceptions like this about evolution and college that fill the run-time. This is like a reverse Inherit The Wind. While that movie made creationists look bad, this one demonizes evolutionists. Was this the intent? To be the reverse Inherit The Wind? I hope not.
And while it has a good ending, where a man asks the crowd to make peace with the other side, the previous elements can't make up for that.
In short, this movie is a Matter of Bad Storytelling, one that needs to be fixed if we want non-believers to be inspired to faith by the art of film.
Reverse Recommendation: See Kent Hovind's Seminar Series Instead. I reviewed the first 3 on my page.
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
I Know That This Could Have Been Written Better.
I just finished seeing this movie and I needed to write about it immediately. I Know What You Did Last Summer was apparently a hit when it came out, but I wonder who made it such? The movie is appealing, but it fails on many levels.
The movie follows 4 teens who, after graduation, go on a reckless car ride. They end up hitting a pedestrian and panic. They contemplate reporting it to the police, but they MIGHT be caught with alcohol and reckless driving, making them guilty of manslaughter.
So instead, they dump the man into the nearest lake. In doing so, they find out that he is still alive, so they drive away with him underwater and vow to never speak of it again.
A whole year passes, and one of the teens receives a note that reads: I Know What You Did Last Summer. Then they get other disturbing notes and pranks(One prank, for instance, involves a girl getting her hair chopped off in her sleep.) Instead of contacting the police, the teens decide they should confront the man themselves, which has bloody results.
I usually prefer to analyze the good parts of a movie, before the bad. I did like the cast, and I think they do alright with what they are given. They are characters to care about. Even the female leads are quite attractive.
I will also give credit that the movie is mostly engaging. Aside from a slow first 10 minutes, I was never really bored. And as a horror movie, it does have intense moments throughout, especially near the end. However, I would not say that it carries for a horror movie that runs for 100 minutes.
My rating is a 4/10. That shows that the flaws outweigh the good, so I clearly have some gripes with the movie! I already mentioned the slow start, but that's just the beginning.
Having read my synopsis, some of the flaws should be clear. This movie wouldn't go so far if the teens had called the police. But since they fear punishment for the effect of reckless driving, they decide to literally drown their secret. As such, the plot is dependent on this flaw of not doing the obvious right thing. And if your plot is dependent on a plot hole, then the hole is just digging deeper.
There are many moments that wouldn't work in a real life setting. For instance, when the teen girl gets the note with the title's words, her mother receives it through an envelope with no return address, and she casually gives it to her daughter without finding it odd that an envelope has no return address!
In one horrifying scene, a teen opens her car trunk and discovers a corpse with crabs crawling all over it. She tries to show it to her friends, but the killer somehow got back into the trunk, removed the body and crabs, removed the stink that would give off, and any traces of such a scene...all without being noticed?
In many scenes, the killer chases after them, and they make many mistakes here. In some chases, the kids run closer to the villain and not further. WHY? Why would you do that? In one scene, a police officer goes towards him and is sliced as a result, just seconds after one of the girls warns him. He ignores the screams and continues towards the killer.
If I thought long enough, I could make a laundry list of stupid mistakes and clichés that this movie provides. It ends up like most horror movies as a result, and falls flat. In this case, it's flatter than most films in the genre. Even with clichés, I tend to at least like horror movies. This one is an exception.
As I watched the movie, I struggled to know what my rating would be. At times, I thought there were good enough moments to recommend it(Anne Heche's performance is well done, probably one of the better ones in fact), but near the end, I knew that I hated this movie.
It doesn't help when you consider seeing something different in the first half hour and want it over in the last half hour. I thought of what I rate different movies and I came up with a 4. There are some good elements sprinkled throughout, but the story line was so poor that the good parts don't even really matter when all things are said and done.
I also found it appalling to discover that this was the 20th highest grossing movie of the year. Granted, it was a small amount compared to it's #1(That being Titanic), but to know that wonderful movies like The Ice Storm and The Apostle were less successful is quite terrifying, more than the movie- quite frankly!
I could rant further, but what I have said is sufficient. I Know What You Did Last Summer is a cliché, underwritten, and flawed movie that is a disgrace to horror films. In a genre where The Exorcist, Halloween, and Scream reign supreme, this falls below royalty. It's one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and I don't say that much.
Note: This is an edit of my review written on 7/13/20 and re-edited on 7/28.
Citizen Kane (1941)
The Greatest Movie Of All Time.
When you look at polls of the best movies of all time, such as the American Film Institute's Top 100, one movie tends to be on top- Citizen Kane. It's often considered by many film critics and movie lovers, such as myself, to be the greatest movie ever made. It's even in my top 10 favorite movies of all time.
This title is also given to compare other movies. One critic, Dann Gire, called Babe "The Citizen Kane of talking pig pictures." In other words, it's the greatest movie about talking pigs ever made. Richard Roeper, who used to co-host with Roger Ebert, said that Movie 43 was "The Citizen Kane of Awful", to get the point across that it was the worst movie of all time.
It's quite interesting to know then, that when it released 79 years ago, that it was booed whenever it was named at the Oscars, and that it lost Best Picture to How Green Was My Valley. But time passed, and many people saw that Orson Welles had actually made a masterpiece, and now it's the hailed piece of cinema that it is today.
The plot is rather simple. A wealthy man named Charles Foster Kane has died on his deathbed, but not before saying "Rosebud" under his breath. Some news-reporters want to know what that means, so they interview all sorts of people that personally knew Kane to see if they can solve the mystery.
If you simply watch the movie, it may be hard to understand why this is so revered. But if you study it, it's quite clear. Orson Welles doesn't just play Kane, he also co-wrote, co-produced and directed the movie. While directing it, he created many film-making
techniques that we take for granted now but would have been revolutionary back in 1941. I'll name a few, thanks to a review Roger Ebert once wrote and other sources.
One aspect is called "deep focus." There are a handful of examples of this, but a prime one is early in the movie, where Kane's mother signs some papers to give Kane to a wealthy man so he won't grow up poor and unprivileged.
You can see Kane's mother signing the papers quite casually, Kane's father has a look of concern about the situation, and Mr. Thatcher, the man who makes Kane wealthy, eagerly watches Mrs. Kane sign the papers.
Finally, and most significantly, we can see 8 year old Kane innocently playing in the snow in the background. He won't be innocent for long, wealth and power will soon corrupt him.
We can get all of this emotion and information from one single image, drawn out into one single shot. Orson Welles and Herman Mankiewicz wrote the movie together, but more is written in shots like this then what would have been on paper.
Another camera technique is what we now call the Invisible Wipe. In one scene, an opera singer performs and simultaneously we see newspapers that give rave reviews of the performance, all written by Kane so more people can see her performances despite the public not admiring them. We get these 2 scenes at once due to this trick, and that would have been impressive back then.
Did you know that there are no crowd scenes in this movie? That is, no groups of extras are present in scenes like when Kane gives his election speech. The illusion is done with flickering lights and sound effects, a job once again thought of by Welles, and impossible without him.
If you want to read more about this, you can Google Roger Ebert's article "A Viewer's Companion to Citizen Kane" to learn more. It's a fascinating article for those who are interested. It was Ebert's favorite movie of all time and so he was quite fascinated with such aspects of the film.
In addition to these revolutions in film-making, Citizen Kane also has glorious cinematography and it's one of the finest acted movies ever made. It also contains the greatest moral in a movie in my view- that all people can have value if we take the time to see it.
It is film-making like this that makes Citizen Kane so brilliant. In an age where superhero movies and re-tread movies(remakes, reboots, sequels, etc.) rule the box office, Citizen Kane may unfortunately lose it's impact on some people. But those who can appreciate the majesty of this movie certainly will.
Whether you are a film buff, a film critic, or a casual viewer, Citizen Kane needs to be seen by everyone possible. It kind of frightens me that some people live their whole lives without ever seeing it at least once. It's too magnificent and essential to pass on seeing it.
I don't remember who was interviewing him, but Orson Welles was once asked how many times he had seen his own movie. He confessed that he never had, not even at the premiere.
The host asked him why he had never seen it, and Welles humbly responded, and I may be paraphrasing: "Because I want to remember it as being better than it actually is."
It certainly is, Orson. It most certainly is.
Unplanned (2019)
I Am Pro-Life But I Am Not Pro-Unplanned.
Unplanned is a rather difficult movie for me to review. Do I hate it? No. Is it good? Not quite. Giving it a star rating is also rather difficult, but since I have 2 sides of me here- one that likes it and also one that doesn't, I have given it 5/10 stars.
The movie is based on a memoir of a woman named Abby Johnson who, from 2001-2009, worked in a Planned Parenthood and then quit her job to become a pro-life advocate. While that part of the story is captivating, the execution of it is rather poor when you think it through.
I want 2 things to be clear as you read this review-I am a Christian, and I hold to pro-life values. But I will not give a Christian movie about pro-life a good review just for being both faith based and against abortion. It still needs to be consistent and well told, and this is what Unplanned lacks.
The movie opens with a rather effective scene in which we see the ultra-sound guided abortion that made Abby pro-life. Pro-choice people have stated that there is no record of this particular abortion, but for the sake of argument, let's say she did see it. This scene is quite emotional(I remember tearing up while seeing it), and from here, we see how Abby got to this point.
Unplanned is not told in order, which within itself isn't bad, consider that Pulp Fiction is not told in order and requires an attentive mind to thoroughly enjoy it. But if we put the story in order-it doesn't make much sense.
Here is some of the basics- Abby herself actually had 2 abortions. One of them was by pill, from the same Planned Parenthood that she would later work at. The pill makes her "chemically abort" her fetus, and she bleeds and clots all over her bathroom. Narrator Abby tells us that she thought she was going to die. The next day, Abby calls Planned Parenthood and complains about her experience, and they nonchalantly tell her to rest and apply a heating pad.
She later decides to blame herself and not the clinic for what she went through. I can see what she might mean by this- "Maybe I didn't follow the instructions", "I decided to do it, so it's my fault that I suffered", etc.
But here is the puzzling thing- not only does this experience not make her pro-life, but she decides to work at the SAME Planned Parenthood to help women! If she suffered so much, why does she want to work there and possibly have other women go through hell also?
Speaking of which, in one scene, she sees a teen girl that is brought in by her father, and the girl's uterus is perforated. This means that her uterus got holes poked into it, causing abnormal bleeding. While this shows how horrific abortion can be for women as well, this doesn't make Abby pro-life either.
There are other moments like this where Abby should be pro-life but isn't. Her daughter, which she has after marrying her 2nd husband Doug, points out that her shoes are bloody. Instead of changing her stance right then and there, she tells her daughter Grace that someone had a nose bleed and she made them feel better.
When her husband criticizes this, Abby just responds: "No one ever said abortion was pretty." So, you're going to wait until you see an ultrasound-guided abortion to decide that abortion is ugly AND wrong?
There are quite a few inconsistent moments like this throughout. It is not until she sees the ultrasound-guided abortion that she becomes pro-life, and that's also only after being reprimanded by her boss for challenging polices at Planned Parenthood.
If there is any nice thing I can say about the movie, there's the fact that it does show that not all pro-lifers are good and not all pro-choice people are bad. Considering that this is from the writers of God's Not Dead 1 and 2, that is a big step up. Though, considering it's flaws, an apt title for the movie could have been: God's Not Dead: But These Babies Sure Are!
Anyways, we don't just see pro-lifers as holy, perfect people. When Abby Johnson has her first day at the clinic, there are protestors who are holding up graphic abortion pictures and shouting Bible verses at the women who are entering Planned Parenthood. (And, for the record, I do NOT advocate this!) One guy even shouts: "It doesn't matter what good you do in life, you'll always be a baby killer!"
So, while God's Not Dead was all "Christians good, atheists bad", Unplanned does, to it's credit, show that pro-lifers can be jerks and abortion supporters can be well meaning people.
And yes, the movie is sad and hard to watch(I cried myself to sleep after it ended), but the plot doesn't match the emotions. In other words, the movie succeeds in making us feel disgusted at abortion, but the plot's inconsistency contradicts why we should sympathize with pro-life in the first place. It's clearly a message before story, like most modern Christian movies, and that's where it ultimately falls flat.
I have a list of pros and cons that Unplanned has, but this gives you a taste of the good, the bad, and the crazy of Unplanned. If anything, Unplanned is good for sparking conversation on abortion. But if you want more people to reject abortion through the art of film, you need a well told story more than a well driven message. And this is not the best movie for that.
While Unplanned is successful with showing the horrors of abortion in the pro-life view, it is not successful in showing why we should care. In that regard, this movie really is Unplanned.
Reverse Recommendations: To see better movies that deal with abortion, I would recommend either October Baby or Juno. In fact, Juno is in my top 10.
Also: I suggest listening to the podcast Say Goodnight Kevin, where a Christian film critic interviews the real Doug Johnson. And SGK has a 42 minute review of the movie on his You Tube channel diving into the issues the movie has as well.
Mean Streets (1973)
If You Crossed Goodfellas and The Last Temptation of Christ, You Would Get Mean Streets.
When Martin Scorsese made The Departed, he said that it was his first movie with a plot. After seeing Mean Streets, it's clear to me what he means.
Mean Streets follows Charlie, a New Yorker that becomes part of a mob, which conflicts with his deep Catholic guilt. While this plot shapes the story, the narrative is rather loose and doesn't have the flow most movies have.
That's not a bad thing within itself, and some may argue that is a strength, especially for a Scorsese movie, and while it is a very good movie, it does suffer from this.
Nevertheless, this IS a very good movie, one I would otherwise rank with the likes of Goodfellas and The Departed.
The actors do quite well in their parts, showing off their talents. Harvey Keitel is both rough and righteous, believeably interchanging between violent gang violence and praying for his sins to be forgiven. Robert De Niro's character is also great- justifying why Scorsese would cast him 8 more times in the future. No role, in fact, really falls flat.
Scorsese also shows his directing talents quite well. The cinematography is a bit dated, but considering that this one of his earliest works and the movie is 47 years old, that is understandable.
My favorite aspect of the movie is how Scorsese integrates the Catholic elements of the movie. Anyone who knows about his life knows that he grew up deeply religious and that he found Catholicism to be quite fascinating. In fact, before deciding to become a director, he wanted to join the priesthood, but he had to go the film-making route after failing seminary.
This is seen throughout the movie, even in the opening narration, done by Marty himself- "You don't make up for your sins in church. You do it in the streets. You do it at home. The rest is BS and you know it." While this may sound sacrilgeous to the devout, the movie exemplifies what he means.
We see Keitel's character praying in a church, stating once that he prays on his own, praying 10 Hail Mary's and Lord Prayer does nothing for him. The Catholic imagery is quite rich as well, with cross necklaces and crucfixes seen quite regularly.
While Scorsese goes deep into Catholicism in The Last Temptation of Christ and Silence(my favorite works of his, even though I'm a Lutheran), it's through Mean Streets that he digs into it through his core genre- gangster movies. It's interesting that 2 of the actors of this movie- Harvey Kietel and Victor Argo, played disciples of Jesus in Last Temptation 15 years later.
Despite it's shortcomings, Mean Streets still exemplifies Martin's talent as a film-maker and why he is my favorite director. I wouldn't call it one of his "must see" works, but if the chance arises, it is worth your time. On a high note, it at least paved the way for his greatest additions to film, like Goodfellas, The Departed, and Silence. That within itself makes it worth seeing.
Jack and Jill (2011)
Let's Just Say Adam Sandler Is No Eddie Murphy.
I recently wrote a review of God's Not Dead 1 and 2, admitting that I used to like them, but I realized over time how awful they are. Jack and Jill is another one of those movies.
Now, let me make this clear- I never LOVED this movie. But I did find it alright. I regret this wholeheartedly now, and let me tell you why, after I give you the plot summary:
In the movie, Adam Sandler plays Jack, a commercial director who's twin sister is coming home for Thanksgiving-but refuses to leave. The twin is also played by Sandler.
There are so many problems with Jack and Jill that it's kind of hard to know where to start, but here we go:
1. Adam Sandler playing a man and his sister? I don't mind cross dressing in movies-Eddie Murphy does this in The Nutty Professor movies and Norbit(Not a perfect movie by the way but still WAY better than this), and movies like Mrs. Doubtfire, Tootsie, and Some Like It Hot do this quite well, but Sandler just wasn't made for it.
2. His voice for Jill is quite annoying, worse than his voice for The Waterboy. I dare you look up a clip of this movie and tolerate Jill's voice. Now consider hearing it for a majority of a 90-ish minute movie!
3. There is SO much bathroom humor in this movie! There's literally a scene where Jill gets diarrhea on a date and at home she tells Jack about her horrible night in-between numerous farts and defecation sessions! In another scene, Baby Jill out-gasses Baby Jack in the bathtub!
4. It's a pointless movie. What are we supposed to gain from it? Laughs? A Thanksgiving movie? If you want either of those, see Planes, Trains, and Automobiles or Dutch, both great works from John Hughes. But please don't see this!
5. It's not that funny. There's a gag where Jill doesn't recall the name of It's A Wonderful Life, and it's predictable and not comedic. Fart jokes replace good jokes, and so much more. There's one decent joke where Jack dresses as Jill and his fake boobs are adjusted by a stranger but that scene doesn't amount to much in the end.
6. And if all of this isn't bad enough- AL PACINO, the same one that starred in The Godfather and Scarface, plays himself and becomes a LOVE INTEREST for Jill! That makes me speechless!
That's probably not every problem that this movie even has! How this was ever greenlit is beyond me.
I actually like Adam Sanlder. I enjoy Anger Management, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Grown Ups, and a few others. This, however, should be collected and burned.
If you are blessed to have never seen Jack and Jill, remain that way. At most, see it to mock with your friends. Otherwise, there's no need to see it at all! It would be preferable to fall down a hill with a bucket of water than see this headache of a "movie" ever again.
Reverse Recommendations: If you want any good movie connected to this garbage, see any other great, good, or alright movie that I mentioned in the review, here they are again:
The Nutty Professor, Norbit, Mrs. Doubtfire, Tootsie, Some Like It Hot, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Dutch, It's A Wonderful Life, The Godfather, Scarface, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Anger Management, or Grown Ups.
These 14 movies are all better, if not perfect, uses of your time!
Upside-Down Magic (2020)
Harry Potter Knock Off That's Decent For The Under 10 Crowd.
I didn't see much advertisement for this movie, but some of my favorite Disney Channel stars heavily promoted it online so I thought-What the heck. I'll kill 103 minutes and see it. (Yes, 103, not 100 or 105 like most Disney Channel movies.) I personally thought it was okay, but I wouldn't see it again.
The movie follows 2 teen wizards- Nory and Reina, who are old enough to go to Magic School. Reina is put in the advanced classes, and Nora has to go to the Upside Down Magic classes. You see, Nora can turn into animals, but only odd ones, like a crossover between a cat and fire-breathing dragon. Because of this odd(and deemed dangerous) trait, she must do regular school work in a basement until her powers wear off and she can be expelled from the school. Believing in her powers, Nory convinces her class to stand up to her school and show what they are made of.
In one word, I thought this movie was okay. Not bad, but not good, just in the middle. There were engaging parts, and there were dull parts. However, I am 21 and this seemed to be geared towards kids under 10 years old. Single-digit aged kids should get a kick out of it, Double-digit aged kids will be mostly bored.
Now, you may say: "Well, you're 21 and this a Disney Channel Movie for kids." Yes, but there's quite a few DCMs that came out in my late teens and adulthood that I enjoyed very much- Kim Possible, Invisible Sister and Adventures In Babysitting among them. I actually own 2 of these on DVD! And growing up, past the aimed audience age, I have enjoyed movies like Lemonade Mouth, Camp Rock, and Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie. So the quality is not due to my age, it's due to how the demographic was focused on the kids and not the adults who may be watching. That within itself is not a bad thing, but that does limit your crowd and that's why my recommendation is quite marginal.
Another problem that I had was that this seemed to be a knock off of Harry Potter. Here's one example of many: you know how Hogwarts students go through Platform 9 3/4 by seeping through a brick wall? Going to the magic school Sage Academy is very similar, going through a tree or something similar. This again shows how unoriginal Disney has been lately-first with sequels, then with remakes, now with ripping off other properties.
The film was quite predictable as well. To give you one of many examples, it was clear early on that this movie was going to have a message of "be yourself" and words that cliché were used near the end. I think I rolled my eyes when that happened, along with a mental "I knew it."
So, yes, I found this dull, predictable, and unoriginal. But there were a few things I enjoyed about the movie:
For one thing, I recognized a few of the stars from the Disney shows that I watch- Siena Agudong and Max Torina were both guest stars from my favorite show, Sydney To The Max, and Ricardo Ortiz was in 2 episodes of Gabby Duran. These appearances made this film somewhat watchable. In fact, I wouldn't say that any of the actors were bad, just that their material was a bit lackluster.
Also, while I was often bored, I could tolerate the movie for about half the run-time. Considering that it was about 90 minutes without commercials, I enjoyed it for around 45 of them. However, at most, that's all I can say about the movie.
When I give a movie a 6/10, it's a negative review that means I didn't like it but a certain audience would like it better. As I mentioned, that would be kids under 10. If you are 11 or older, then this movie is not recommended to you. If you must see it with the intended audience, have your phone or something ready to use during the movie.
This is a magical film for kids, but the others will went to cast a spell on the 90 minutes they spent.
Reverse Recommendation: If you want a similar movie that's actually good, then I highly suggest seeing Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Even if you have seen it, re-visiting it would be a better use of your time.
*If you enjoyed this review, please check out my others at https://www.imdb.com/user/ur119773892/?ref_=tt_urv or my old page at https://www.imdb.com/user/ur88612516/?ref_=tt_urv
Please note however that I review grown up movies as well, so be cautious as I discuss my thoughts on the content in some of these movies! Enjoy!