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Embrace of the Vampire (1995)
Alyssa Milano gets naked
Now that I have your attention, that alone seems to be the sole reason this movie exists. Alyssa Milano made this quasi-soft core porn movie after "Who's The Boss" and before "Charmed". She now seems to disavow this movie and along with her mother fights to get all nude pics from it taken off the internet.
But like most soft-core porn this movie attempts to have a plot, as ridiculous as it is. A vampire, played by The Krays Martin Kemp, has to find true love in 200 years or he will cease to exist. I knew that stakes through the heart and sunlight were limitations of vampires, but I didn't know about that true love thing. Apparently he must be one of those procrastinating vampires because his time is almost up.
So along comes a virginal college student played by Alyssa, who reminds the vampire of his lost love. After that the movie becomes an extended excuse to get Alyssa out of her clothes as often as possible. An example of this is one scene that must rank near the most gratuitous nude scenes in movie history. A lesbian photographer (Charlotte Lewis) who is, of course, hot talks Alyssa out of her clothes and starts snapping pictures. This scene doesn't advance the plot in any way and you never see the photographer again.
My personal favorite is how the vampire became what he is. After a tryst with his lover he was lounging along the banks of a stream, when wouldn't you know it, a couple of topless vampire babes happen along and bite him. I swear some guys have all the luck.
Now if you're like me and you think Alyssa Milano is hot then this is the movie you've dreamed of. But treat it like the quasi-porn that it is and let's just leave it at that.
The Magic Christian (1969)
Interesting relic from the 60's
This film captures an idealistic attitude prevalent in the 1960's that money in and of itself was an evil thing. Guy Grand (Peter Sellers)the richest man in the world, attempts to prove that people will do anything for money. This may be true of course but which makes this somewhat insulting is that Guy Grand is already rich. He doesn't have to worry about living paycheck to paycheck or how he will pay for unforseen medical bills, etc. So his baiting of people with money comes across as patronizing and as I said, insulting. But the film works best when it satirizes the rich. The best scene is when Guy Grand hosts a fake ball on board a yacht complete with cameos from Christopher Lee as Dracula and Raquel Welch as a dominatrix, then proceeds to have his rich guests who want to bask in luxury terrorized to great comic effect. But the ending unfortunately sums up the movie's point of view. I won't give it away but it's rather disgusting. For Monty Python fans John Cleese has a cameo as an art dealer.