trpnallday Reviews

Sunshine (2007)

Confusing mess of good parts

[4/10 · 15 December 2020]

There are some great things in this movie. The actors are great and do a fantastic job. Their characters are fairly well written (though several of them are way underutilized). There are also several moments with nifty visuals.

Unfortunately, it does not seem like the writer nor the director knew what they wanted this movie to be as it starts out as a space movie, then it goes into a interpersonal drama, then a hard-science film, then a mystery, and then an 80's slasher. Further, the audio/score often does not match the visuals and takes the viewer out of the scene. Likewise the visuals, while often great, become a TERRIBLE distraction in the latter part of the movie. Weird cuts, wipes, and color smearing make it super difficult to follow what is going on and feel really out of place.

Also, a lot of the would-be tension is replaced with frustration because the movie introduces so many areas late in the movie and without any frame of reference so that it is SUPER difficult to follow where the characters are, what they're doing, and how difficult it will be for them to do whatever it is.

Super Dark Times (2017)

Abysmal Idea and Execution

[1/10 · 17 August 2020]

The audio level is so low that I had to crank my stereo to near max and then I could only just barely hear most of the dialog in this movie.

Equally awful is the story which makes no sense. Why does the antagonist do what he does? No idea. How does the protagonist know that it's him and where to find him? Don't know. What is the point of the seemingly unrelated things in the beginning and the end? No idea. How can a decorative/toy weapon do so much damage? Magic??

Upgrade (2018)

Surprisingly good

[8/10 · 17 June 2020]

This movie features some nifty sci fi concepts as well as some relevant social commentary that I found to be interesting and to provide a good conversation starter when discussing them with friends afterward.

The acting seemed to be fairly convincing to me and I grew to believe in the world of the movie.

The action was pretty great and had some original moments that really stood out to me.

The ending was obvious, but I enjoyed the ride so much that I didn't mind.

Into the Forest (2015)

Great acting really sells this movie

[8/10 · 17 June 2020]

The two lead actresses do some of the best acting that I've ever had the privilege to witness. The movie is a long slow burn which is generally not my thing, but the two lead actresses drew me in and made me want to find out what happens to them.

I think that the ending is ridiculous, but I'm still glad that I spent some time with the two main characters.

Under the Skin (I) (2013)

Stop excusing garbage as "arthouse"

[1/10 · 20 May 2020]

This movie is really, really, painfully slow and boring. I watched "The Killing of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" which was slow, but it was at least captivating and it had a plot that went somewhere.

This movie is slow and makes no sense. When something actually happens, the effects are cool, but that's only three times in the whole film!

Honestly, I don't think even the director knew what this film is supposed to be about! Is the main character an alien? Don't know. What is she doing? Don't know. Who is the motorcycle rider and how is he/she connected to anything? Don't know.

Watching this pathetic excuse for a film would be a complete waste of your time.

The Lure (2015)

Definitely not so bad that it's good

[1/10 · 5 February 2019]

I think that this is a really poorly made and unenjoyable movie and here's why:

There is very little in the way of a plot. This is further hampered by the decision to turn the movie into a musical. The songs seem to have little to nothing to do with the movie yet the songs make up at least 80% of the screen time. The only semblance of plot comes in the last few minutes of the movie and, by then, what happens didn't affect me because I was not very invested.

Hardly anything is explained and that hurts the movie. Some movies set up deep questions about the nature of existence or other debatable topics and so leaving things open-ended can work, but this is not one of those movies. Ex: What is the point of the beginning? The human protagonists are partying on a beach when the two mermaids sing to them and then a woman screams. Why did she scream? This is never explained and it seems to have no bearing on anything that happens subsequently. Somehow the two mermaids are adopted into the "family" and everything is fine. Moreover, there no consequence to the sudden appearance of two seemingly young girls and nobody has any qualms about how the two girls can suddenly turn into disgusting mermaid creatures when nothing else is presented as magical in the movie.

The movie brings up all sorts of points never to make use of any of them. Why bring up the weirdly human vagina on the fish tails of the mermaids only to never mention it again and present the mermaids as asexual? Why have that long section with two musical numbers that introduces the lesbian cop only to never mention it again? Why start the scene with the cop threatening to arrest the mermaid for murder and then never have there be any consequences for the mermaid's killing spree? Why spend half the movie building up the devil character only to have him be completely irrelevant?

The movie is a jumble of half-baked ideas. There is the ending that comes out of nowhere and could have been a big deal if the rest of the movie had built up to that climax, but it didn't. The movie presents mermaids as demons but never goes anywhere with it. Similarly, it takes a dark approach and presents the mermaids as disgusting creatures, but never makes that a plot point either. The characters all work in a nightclub, but it doesn't relate to the plot even though 90% of the movie takes place in or around the nightclub.

The movie is mostly a bunch of unrelated song numbers which are not entertaining. The lyrics make no sense and it seems like the actors did the singing themselves and they did a horrible job. The music is really poor and the singing is SOOOOOOOOO bad. Even with karaoke as my only training and even though I can't speak Polish, I could probably do a better job of singing than the actors in this movie!

Lastly, this movie takes itself waaay too seriously. It lacks the camp that is required to qualify for the "so bad that is good" category so it ends up being a gross, boring, painful to listen to and to watch slog. The only reason that I finished it was so that I could honestly say that I watched the whole thing when I writing this review.

Atomic Blonde (2017)

The best spy movie that I have seen

[10/10 · 2 May 2018]

This film has a great story that seems confusing at first, but comes together toward the end.

The actors all do a great job, and the fight scenes are some of the best that I have ever seen. It really seemed like the characters were actually duking it out in a bitter struggle for survival. I also appreciated that it didn't seem like the main character magically had everything planned perfectly and that she succeeded at everything. It really seemed to me like she was a trained agent who was dropped into a situation that was too much for her and so she was just trying to get out alive.

The visuals and the soundtrack were awesome and really helped to set the mood and to make for a different experience from most cold-war era spy movies.

The Death of Stalin (2017)

Entertaining for fans of watching idiots bumble about

[8/10 · 8 April 2018]

This movie is a somewhat funny, but mostly it is a serious look at an absurd series of events following Joseph Stalin's death in 1953. Various parties within the Soviet Government quickly plot to set themselves up as the new leader and to remove their rivals.

Unfortunately for the audience, this is no white knuckle political thriller, because the players in this game are the most insane, over-the-top, and incompetent bunch of neurotic imbeciles that I have seen on screen since the show Arrested Development. The movie is not exciting, but it is entertaining to watch the ridiculous characters fumble their way through ever more dire circumstances of their own creation.

The Invitation (I) (2015)

Almost as good as "Get Out"

[9/10 · 1 April 2018]

I found the movie to be thoroughly engrossing and entertaining. It was hard to watch because of how masterfully the mood and the tension was created and then constantly ratcheted up, but I had become so invested in it that I couldn't look away either.

When the tension finally explodes in the finale, the fighting seems real and frightening.

I knocked off a star, because the last few seconds of the movie introduces a twist that is stupid, makes no sense, and adds NOTHING to the experience of the movie.

Black Panther (2018)

Wasted potential with stupid plot and full of tribal cliches

[3/10 · 1 April 2018]

Good things first: The actors are beautiful and talented. The cast give fantastic performances with the exception of the guy who plays the main baddy who does a so-so job.

The CGI is obnoxiously overused, but it looks pretty cool. Similarly the design of the aircraft and the underground part of the city looked super cool.

The bad: Very little in this movie makes sense. The plot is stupid and so many important details were overlooked. For example, why do the super-advanced people fight exclusively with melee weapons? Also, why do they have super advanced weapons and fighter/bomber planes and why do the average citizenry seem to know military tactics (they form a phalanx during the final fight) if they've never been in a single war ever and have only ever hidden from the world????

Why does Black Panther simply have a special suit and magic metal claws? This is supposed to be part of the Marvel universe so Ironman and the Hulk exist in this. What could this guy contribute? He could contribute super advanced and nearly indestructible weaponry (guns/drones/satellites) based on the magic metal. Instead, he's just a tribal cliche in a catsuit... meow.

Moreover, there were some REALLY good concepts that were brought up, but never fully examined. For example there were ideas of family, heritage, identity, geopolitics, race and more that were never really examined. Even the main baddy's motivation could have made for a really great story with a REALLY dark twist at the end, but, instead we got the Disney rated G ending which didn't even make any sense.

Darkest Hour (2017)

Utterly pointless

[1/10 · 28 December 2017]

This movie provides no information about Winston Churchill that isn't already in the high school curriculum and it provides no new insight into the man given what the public generally knows about him.

The film suggests a lot of topics, but doesn't seem to take a stance on any of them. It doesn't even give a comprehensive account of either Winston Churchill or what England was like during World War 2. Rather, the film focuses on Churchill sitting in a few meetings and then giving a couple of speeches over the course of about a month leading up to England's official entry into the second world war. This is a terribly boring subject and I can't picture ANYONE having wanted to see a LONG, LONG, LONG movie about this very insignificant part of history.

Worse yet is that the movie had so very, many moments of promise, but failed to make good on any of them. For example, Churchill's wife said something which suggested that the rest of the family hated Winston because he had sacrificed his family for his career. The movie could have explored this and other issues that he had with his family, but it doesn't. Why bring it up at all if the matter will never be mentioned again? The movie sets up the comparison between Churchill, Hitler, and Trump, but never discusses the matter. Churchill's massive political and military failures were hinted at, but never discussed. Possibly even more irritating is the fact that the film never mentions how Churchill rose to power on a single-minded policy of military action despite the public and the British Government knowing of his MASSIVE bungling of several military campaigns in the past.

Moreover, the movie fails to mention various critical and/or interesting things about Winston Churchill such as how he had a strange and extremely deep connection with a Mr. Lindemann whose counsel he sought daily and whose words he heeded without question. The movie also portrays Churchill as a man of the people when, in fact, he hated nearly everyone and especially the common people and non-Caucasians. He was a massive bigot whose bigotry and blind faith in his friend's advice led to the death of tens of millions of British subjects and yet none of it is mentioned in a biopic about him!

Lastly, the film doesn't even bother to explain the few things that it does bring up. For example, it is never explained why the two main parties in Parliament chose him. It is not explained why the plot to remove him never happens. It is not explained why the king suddenly changes from actively despising and distrusting Churchill to blindly supporting him. It is not explained why Parliament is bored by Churchill's first speech but goes frat party crazy throwing paper everywhere and shouting approval after Churchill's second speech despite it being almost the same as his first speech!

It (I) (2017)

A stupid waste of time and money

[2/10 · 12 September 2017]

The updated effects helped to keep me awake through the movie, but they weren't enough to make it scary, because the effects were only used for jump scares. The only part that was remotely scary was the scenes with the crazy mom of one of the kids and the scenes with another kid's creepy dad.

The clown demon wasn't that scary. The closest it came to being scary was the scene from the trailer where it pops out of the projector screen ala Ringu. It was slightly scary because it made it clear that the demon knew who the kids were, where they were, and what they were doing.

I strongly advise against seeing this movie because nearly everything in it is sooooooooo stupid! The town has been plagued by a murdering demon and also huge catasrophes that nearly wipe out the town and are probably also caused by the demon for hundreds of years and yet there is still a town. No one left??

The town doesn't seem to care that there are gangs of psychotic kids roving around constantly butchering other people! There are rapes happening in the street in broad daylight and there is no reaction from anyone and somehow there is still a town. Just over the course of the movie, tons of people are killed or at least go missing and there is no reaction from the town other than a couple of missing posters. The police never become involved and there's no FBI presence!

There are also no consequences for the main kids either. The kids execute a fellow kid and leave his body in the sewer and the girl bludgeoned her dad to death and yet it is never even mentioned again and she just goes to live with her aunt. WTF?

Even after the demon is defeated and the kids rescue the people who had been taken, they only try to revive the main girl and they don't tell anyone in the town about it so presumably there's no investigation and the hundreds of bodies are just left in the sewer to rot...

Just to give you an idea of how horribly pathetic this movie is, the boys "wake" the girl by giving her a steamy kiss...

The movie is also inconsistent with it's portrayal of the demon! On several occasions, the movie unequivocally states that it lives off people's fear, but then why does it kill and eat people? Also if it just needs fear, then wouldn't killing it's victims be counter productive? On the other hand, if it needs physical sustenance, then what's the point of the whole fear thing? Why wouldn't it just snatch prey and eat it like a beast? Also why does it look like a clown and why do it's victims float? This is treated like a huge issue as it is referenced throughout the film and yet neither point is ever explained!

Rather the kids say that it seems to show each person the thing that that person fears the most and yet despite that exposition it still appears as a clown to each of the kids!

The Killer (1989)

The most honest and object review you'll get

[4/10 · 8 July 2010]

I understand that the budget for this movie was extremely low when compared to that of the typical Hollywood blockbuster, but that is irrelevant when considering how poorly John Woo handled the film.

The good:

1. The 4 male leads (the assassin/his friend + cop/his friend) did a very good job of portraying their characters, their emotions and their physical pain.

2. The male leads all have really realistic/memorable lines.

3. There are several ideas introduced along with the action including, the assassin's change of heart regarding his profession, the way he and the cop come to realize they aren't really as different as they wanted to think they were, and the idea of being passed up by changing times (the old-school triads versus the new street-punk mafia wannabe's).

The bad:

1. The female lead is annoying at best. Moreover, why does her character stay around through all the mayhem???

2. Magic bullet-growing guns that occasionally need reloading

3. Every action scene is the same: the "good guys" are sitting/standing around and literally HUNDREDS of dudes come charging in through the front door in order to get mowed down by a hailstorm of bullets. Then, MORE guys rush in (sometimes through windows). Most of the baddies don't even bother shooting when they rush in and the ones that do shoot would apparently lose in a duel with a stormtrooper.

4. The extras/stuntmen all flip about when they get shot like in some James Bond film. Some guys got thrown 20 feet or so by getting shot!

5. The trained assassin apparently feels the need to empty 15-20 shots into each dude and all the baddies wait in line for their turn rather than firing while the main character goes agro on one dude.

6. The assassin and the cop survive through several shootouts, killing hundreds of guys while not getting hurt.

7. None of the events have any semblance of rational behind them. Why does the Triad boss want the assassin dead? Who knows? Why does he keep trying after losing literally hundreds of henchmen? Who knows? Why does the chick stay with the assassin after she finds out who he is? Who knows? Why does the leader of the triads TAKE PART in the shootout alongside all of his minions????? The worst part is that these are all easily fixed problems and yet John Woo never thought it necessary.

8. No one can get 3 perfect shots off from hundreds of yards away while standing on a bobbing boat! Moreover, after the assassination, WHY does he attract attention to himself by jetting off in the boat in front of everyone??? Why doesn't he just dump the gun, put on a wetsuit and swim away underwater??

9. Even after things go south and everyone wants him dead, the assassin STILL RISKS going back to his own apartment and his girlfriend's apartment several times!!

10. Why are the triads (especially the boss) riding around in old, cheap cars with no protection?? On that note, couldn't the most powerful crime syndicate in Asia afford more than pistols and a few uzis for its members?? Surely they would have thought of some different tactics after the first few shootouts?? Maybe a rocket or a carbomb or poison or something else???

Alien³ (1992)

Pretty good

[8/10 · 27 September 2009]

I have read many of the negative reviews here on IMDb and in nearly every single one, the author cited their major gripe as the characters of Hicks and Newt being killed off before the start of the movie. WHY is this a problem?? They do not have to be in this movie for it to be good. This movie is different in style from the second movie and the main point is the idea of isolating Ripley while creating an atmosphere of fear, isolation, claustrophobia loneliness and desperation. This would be impossible if Ripley had her buddies from the previous movie with her to back her up! Hicks and Newt were basically the daughter and husband Ripley wished she had so having them dead adds this tremendous feeling of loss (and desperation) which I felt Sigorny Weaver did a great job of expressing.

Basically, this is a dark and brooding film with lots of suspense and a great plot twist in the end which also happens to be a great way to end the series as a whole. The soundtrack was decent and the visuals were grim and gritty (as one would expect from a movie in this series). Weaver does a good job acting the character of Ripley and the other characters do a good job being alien-fodder and also helping her in her attempt to kill the alien. The direction is stylistic but in a way that serves to deepen the thematic sense of isolation and desperation.

In short, I recommend this film to anyone who likes scifi-suspense or is a fan of the series!

The Harimaya Bridge (2009)

As far as I can remember, this is most amazing thing I have yet seen.

[10/10 · 4 June 2009]

I just saw this film in the theater yesterday and was completely blown away by it. I am somewhat of a film buff, but I can not remember ever before being so moved, so entertained and so utterly wrapped up in a movie before.

I need not say anything about the plot as the blurb here on IMDb says it all --beside which what is really important is how the story unfolds. The pacing was wonderfully done and the camera work was beautiful. There were minimal lighting effects and/or after-effects used so the picture had a more realistic feel which I felt was a good decision as it forced the director to pay careful attention to the framing of each scene and let the beautiful scenery speak for itself in order to create a visual dimension to the poetry that is the story.

As moving as the visuals are, the amazing soundtrack also needs to be commended. Some scenes employ no background music and instead rely on natural sounds or the bustling of the town etc. while other scenes really benefit from the background music that accompanies the visuals.

The actors all deserve commendations for their amazing work. There were relatively few lines spoken in the film but each was delivered with maximum effect which, along with subtle body language managed to not only properly convey the story but to add an honesty and intensity that really drew me into the character's world.

The overall direction is also superb; the way that the director brings together all these assets (beautiful locations, talented actors, gorgeous photography/music and compelling story) and wraps it all up with his clever framing/cinematography is truly amazing. The last scene stands out most in my mind where the titular bridge finally makes its appearance. While the voice-over finally explains why the bridge is so important (literally and symbolically) the camera pans carefully to give us a visual metaphor as well.

Lastly, the story is simple and yet the presentation reveals unexpected depth offering viewers some lessons which everyone could do with hearing again.

Fallout 3 (2008 Video Game)

Definitely Fallout and Definitely Good.... just NOT great

[7/10 · 19 May 2009]

The game has a lot of things going for it: (mostly) great graphics, amazing voice acting (for a game), a fresh new control system, action, gore and lots of classic Fallout style.

This is enough to make it a very playable and entertaining game for most people, but there are many detracting points which will likely keep it from being No.1 on most people's lists.

The graphics are marred by some glitches and some poor animations which seriously distract the player from the otherwise startlingly realistic world the game creates.

Furthermore, some poor decisions were made in regard to the game-play. Most notably is the lack of any form of transportation other than walking which makes for some times when the player will have to spend 30min-1hr just to get from one part of the map to another. Also slightly irritating is the worthlessness of power armor and heavy/energy weapons which should reign supreme and yet are next to impotent in this game. The difficulty is also very unbalanced with the main quest being extremely easy while random encounters throughout the wasteland can sometimes be frustratingly difficult. Typical RPG fare like money, items, shops, repair shops and visiting the doc are also useless in Fallout 3 which I feel leaves the game feeling a little too streamlined.

Along those lines, the game also feels streamlined in the sense that the VATS targeting system is only really necessary in the beginning of the game for once the player hits a certain (low) percentage for their weapon proficiency they can blast away in first person mode with near perfect accuracy thus negating the whole point of stats. Also the game is made a bit too easy by the fact that healing is extremely easy. Any ailment can be instantly healed by stimpacks which are ever-present in massive quantities. Also beds are everywhere and the player need only sleep for an hour (not real-time) and fully recover from any ailment for free! Thanks to the above, I was able to beat the game and complete most of the side-quests in about 35hrs. Considering that most of that time was spent jogging from place to place the game only lasts about 10 hours.

Now do not get me wrong, those 10hrs are some very fun 10hrs, hence I describe this game as "good" just not "great."

Aliens vs. Predator (1999 Video Game)

Play this game

[10/10 · 12 April 2009]

I give this game a 10/10 but with one caveat: it is not for everyone. Fortunately, if you are considering playing this game then you are probably part of the demographic this game was geared for- i.e. you are a fan of the movies, the characters or atmospheric, frightening games that suck you into their world.

If you fit the above, then this game has what you are looking for in spades. The only other game to so perfectly create a world and suck you in would be Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay.

This game has descent graphics, but the PERFECT game design does an amazing job of hiding the engine's limitations and making everything seem very realistic. Of course it helps that all the iconography from the movies is present and the sounds were taken from the films (and used to amazing effect). There is fear and tension which is compounded by the difficulty and the randomizer which keeps enemies cropping up all over the place -though they do not always storm right at you but rather ambush you later on.

The feeling of the three characters is presented very well too. The marine's campaign and the marine's controls gives the player the feeling of constantly running for one's life while playing the predator makes one feel like a badass and playing the alien feels very strange and well.... alien.

Some people have complained that there is no story and the missions/objectives are obtuse. This is a GOOD thing. While it can be frustrating at times, it is in keeping with the atmosphere and the character's situation. Afterall if one really did have to fight their way to safety through an alien infestation, there wouldn't be a proper story would there? There wouldn't be cut-scenes or character development! There would be nothing but bullets, running, tension and blood --which is exactly what this game delivers.

Silk (2007)

one more in a long line of "exotic east" stories

[4/10 · 5 April 2009]

There was once a time when it could at least be considered understandable for people to be caught up in the myth of the "orient." Few people had ever been and the people who had been, brought back wondrous things such as spice and pottery back to their fellow European barbarians.

Those days are long since gone and yet some people feel compelled to keep the "exotic Asia" myth alive in film and literature and this film is one such example. The plot is silly and largely unexplained -but that does not matter! The pacing is PAINFULLY slow -but that does not matter! The acting is wooden at best and the characters all mysteriously speak English -but that does not matter either!

The opening scene with the skinny Asian woman naked in the hot spring turning to look coyly at the camera should be enough to tell that the only thing the filmmakers cared about was to give audiences some steamy scenes and another tale of the exotic seductiveness of Asia.

Even if that is your thing, I recommend that you skip this movie for better adventures elsewhere.

Pacchigi! Love & Peace (2007)

Waste of time

[3/10 · 9 March 2009]

If you have seen the previous film you will likely hate this one as a few of the important characters are mysteriously absent and the actors that play the remaining characters have also changed.

One of the other major detractors is the unnecessary inclusion of flashbacks to WW2 which are irrelevant to the story. The characters and what is going on in the flashbacks is not explained until the end and even then it is only VERY loosely connected to the main story which takes place in the 70s in Japan. Furthermore, the grizzly and VERY graphic nature of the flashbacks does not fit with the comparatively light tone of the rest of the movie.

Lastly the film is marred by a complete lack of explanation/resolution of important plot points such as the son who has a horrible disease. After all the trouble and side-plots that the characters go through to get the money for the kid's treatment, the movie ends without saying ANYTHING about what happens to the kid. There is also a whole side-plot about sailing out to Pusan to exchange some money which is also never explained. The same goes for why one of the main characters was arrested then suddenly released or what is with the woman and girl who visit him in prison???

Quantum of Solace (2008)

Amazingly good

[9/10 · 9 February 2009]

I was introduced to the Bond series through the films featuring Pierce Brosnan, which while they had their silly moments, were much more serious than the Bond movies before them. Maybe this has biased me or maybe I would always feel this way, but I really like the serious approach that the new Bond films (now starring Daniel Craig) take.

I shied away from seeing this new film for quite a while after hearing horrible things about the story, pacing, editing etcetera but I have to say that I found it incredibly entertaining.

There was a lot of action but the short bits of talk and whatnot in between were well used for maximum effect which I felt helped greatly to build the emotional tension and show how Bond's character is growing-up (albeit slowly). The action scenes also felt a little more frenetic than in Casino Royale but they were by no means unwatchable as some have suggested. In fact I liked every scene until the one with the explosions in the desert. It was cool and entertaining though I relived being scared as a child during the Backdraft attraction at Universal Studios! The only detractors I can think of is 1) that the explosion scene was a little overboard. At some point the characters should have just given up and rushed out of the building rather than stubbornly duke it out 'til the building was falling down around them!! 2) The villain(s) were really bland but then I guess that goes with the realism of the story.

Noel (2004)

cheap, trashy rip-off

[2/10 · 11 November 2008]

It became apparent to me right away that this was nothing more than a cheap rip-off trying to jump on the bandwagon after the success of "Love Actually" and perhaps covert some people to Christianity at the same time.

Nevertheless I stuck it out since the videostore has a no-returns policy.

The mood of this "Christmas" film is really dark and the various character's stories are also completely over-the-top. Who thinks up this kind of stuff? There is the cop who gets involved with this old freaky guy that thinks the cop is the reincarnation of his dead wife. There is a guy who for reasons unexplained feels he needs to crash a hospital Christmas party so he gets a guy to introduce him to the leader of some underground cult who happens to specialize in breaking people's hands. As if that isn't weird enough, what is the young badass guy who could be on a Abercrombie&Fitch bag doing throwing himself at the old lady? Surely there are plenty of women under 60 for him?? Then the same woman hallucinates seeing the spirit of a brain-dead priest who then in one night manages not only to convert her to Christianity but also convinces her to take her mother's doctor on a date! If you are insane and all the above makes perfect sense to you, then you will love this movie! For everyone else, stay far, far away.

Megane (2007)

glorified screen-saver

[2/10 · 10 November 2008]

This film is the follow-up to the director's hit "Kamome Shokudo" but where that film succeeded because of its healthy balance of strangeness with beautiful sets, good acting, interesting characters and quirky humor, this film gets only the beautiful sets right and goes WAAAY overboard with the strangeness. A good example of this is the asinine dialog which makes no sense and sounds like each character is having their own conversation with someone off-screen, unaware of the other (onscreen) characters around them.

Nothing happens in this movie and there is no exploration into the characters or the environment at all. In fact this movie is nothing more than a glorified screen-saver and would be much better as a slide-show of beautiful scenery, without the stupid characters. Add in some ocean sounds and I would be asleep right away and dreaming of watching a better film.

Batman Returns (1992)

alright as a movie, pathetic as a batman movie

[4/10 · 9 September 2008]

First of all, Michael Keaton is NOT the person to pick to play Batman. Bruce Wayne is supposed to be the young, slick, playboy millionaire. Keaton is middle aged, ugly, balding, short, stocky and NOT slick or suave. Batman is supposed to be badass and menacing. He is a vigilante not the town mascot! He is disturbed and almost as much a problem for the cops as he is for the robbers. Most of all he is supposed to strike fear into his enemies. Keaton simply does not pull this off. He is short, stocky and looks like a kid trying on his dad's clothes when he puts on the suit. Combine that with his rigid movement and pathetic attempt at fighting and he can only succeed at making the criminals laugh.

Add to that the pathetic villains -we have the penguin and catwoman, neither of who seem very menacing at all and really pose little threat to Batman. Also, WTH is with the thousands of little penguins with rocketpacks?? I might like this movie if I was a pothead but otherwise the march of the penguins is just too cute for such a dark movie.

Burton's trademark dark visuals are really the only good thing about the movie. I always liked his representation of Gotham but this can't save a movie doomed from the get-go by bad casting/choice of villains.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

1 part musical + 1 part "normal" film = garbage

[2/10 · 8 September 2008]

This film is ruined by the fact it is a musical. The actors CAN'T SING! Their horrible attempts at singing make me want to gouge out my eardrums. Most everything else about the film is great. The actors do a good/great job playing their parts. The story is very fairytale-ish but it works well enough to keep the viewer's attention until the very entertaining climax. Sacha Baren Cohen is annoying but thankfully doesn't last long. The imagery is dark and foreboding and the special affects really enhance the gruesomeness of the violent scenes and the hilarity of the comedic/dream scenes. If only there were no pathetic lyrics and no bad singing.

Tim Burton clearly does not know how to direct a musical. He directs it like he does any of his other films which is not appropriate for a musical. It is awkward to have characters walking around like normal just to spontaneously break out into song. It feels like he took a normal film and spliced/dubbed in musical numbers. Successful musicals do not present things directly like normal films. They hint at stuff allegorically. In this way the singing/dancing is removed from reality and the viewer understands that it is there to emphasize a certain aspect of the plot. Two good examples of this are "Chicago" and "All that Jazz" where the song & dance numbers are presented as sort of dreams or delusions but still serve to explain certain feelings/motivations of the characters.

Ponyo (2008)

Not your usual Ghibli fare but wonderful nonetheless

[10/10 · 21 August 2008]

This is the latest Ghibli movie and it is also a MAJOR departure from the studio's established style. First of all, this film was obviously aimed at young children, much more so than any of their previous films. It lacks the depth of the other films and features a brand new far less realistic style of animation… and yet it is ever so entertaining. Even though there is nothing put in to attract adults, I still found myself drawn to the screen and fully immersed in the story. The movie's secret is brutal honesty with regard to the plot and the characters. The story and the characters are very upfront with their feelings/intentions etc. but that makes them all the more endearing. Special attention was also paid to the soundtrack which is absolutely amazing despite being way different from previous Ghibli soundtracks. I find myself singing the cute theme song all the time as will anyone who sees this movie!