320 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
8/10
Oh If we still had Drive-inns !!!
23 November 2015
Stars: Shaun Paul Piccnino (Super Power Beatdown), Meghan Chedeayne (Naked Zombie Girl),Willy Ortlieb ( Chuck Norris stunt double) and Alexis Schneider ( The Gallows).

Let us begin with the music IT IS Awesome ! Very well done soundtrack.

So, We start off with a buddy picture, Some guys getting away from the city and all heck breaks loose in the woods ! The characters are pretty accurate to the situation that befalls them, Shaun is very good at heroics as evidenced by his great career,Meghan is on this incredible roll of good luck in her projects being on a 'To Watch' list with Lamb Feed, NZG,Rhonda Rides To Hell and now Trespass Into Terror …Dare we mention it's got her First Nude Scene( NOT implied like NZG) and she has a bares-all calendar coming out for 2016,Willy Ortlieb doesn't come in till 3/4 of picture, But we get more of what he did in Hot Rod Horror and more Willy Arse Whoopin' the bad guy DT Carney ( Cambodian Dangerous). Alexis Schneider looks amazing and also has her first nude scene, Which 'The Gallows' could have gotten even more tickets sold IF they had thought ahead of Trespass Into Terror producers.

There is like a Whose Who of Valleywood actors and the fact it was filmed at Hobbs Grove and Murray Movie Ranch shows more quality was put into this Cracker-exploitation film.
3 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
7/10
More than we expect from Ghost Busters - The pink version
18 August 2015
Stars : William Forsyth as the caretaker.

Written by: Hank Blumenthal & Jason Nunes.

Directed by: Hank Blumenthal.

OK, So this is gonna be a web-series, Video Game & all kinds of stuff franchise ! BUT, Just like ' Game Of Thrones' Don't get attached to favorite characters, No Spoiler, Just fact.

This Pilot/film starts off kind of slow, With characters that are cool & all and and have layers and knowledge about Ghost Hunting unlike the NEW cast of GHOSTBUSTERS – pink sequel.

About 3/4 of the way through all kinds of apparition mayhem hits and the movie takes off in a wonderfully twisted journey through this old house with A lot of secrets.

William Forsyth has a very nice role as the House Caretaker and brings early class to film,That at end deserved his presence.
0 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
9/10
What The BEATLES should have done for John & George !
17 August 2015
Mr. Firth's Finale has a amazing cast : Cailey Rose Fox (debut),Ron Blackwell (Trespass Into Terror),Doug Scarbrough( John Neptune) and Jim Tuck ( Lost Outlaw).

Written by new scribe -Lewis W. Heniford.

Directed by : Adam Beck ( The Fallen).

So, A little sad, A little Joyous and a lot of awesome acting,That comes off so natural to be real life .

The only girl in ensemble is truly gifted lass,That needs to do print work for ads. or definitely used more for her acting,She is the 'Reel Deal !' So,This story is what the BEATLES should have done for Lennon or Harrison on their somber occasions.

The drama has such talent in front & behind camera and it's only the second film from 2Portagees Productions.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
Tailypo (2015)
7/10
...NOT a URBAN Legend !
4 August 2015
Stars: David Chattem with Ranger and Joseph Aguon Drake,Directed by Cameron McCasland.

Filmed in Kentucky with all the richness that Hollywood is unable to copy on a stage.

Tailypo is pretty darn cool,It has a Gollum/Jersey Devil vibe that is hard to shake,Very scary in moments.

The voice of Tailypo, Is one of those unsung talents -Danielle Gelehrter,Without voice-over artists we wouldn't have video-games,Audiobooks,CARTOONS ! So, There is all this atmosphere of lonely woods,maybe some fog (of course),A Man/his dog/his rifle /his scary ass knife and there is 'Slim Pickens' for supper, For some odd reason all the wild creatures ARE GONE !
3 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
7/10
Maryland films version of EXPENDABELLES
21 July 2015
Stars : Jennifer Rouse,Claire Brown ,George Stover and Louanna Lee.

Write by : Alfred Guy

Directed by : Lee Doll

Probably the best film ever from Lee Doll,Great script by Alfred Guy too ! Kind of a ' Charles Angels' meets 'ExpendaBelles' take on women in film. The cast is probably the best I've seen outta Maryland and especially Claire Brown & Jennifer Rouse,They had layers to their characters. Finally Louanna Lee takes on a ' Big Girl' role and doesn't sing for her supper,But kicks butt like a Young Ronda Rousey. Soundtrack was as needed and fight scenes and effects were a step above norm.

The bad guy was VERY original and yet flawed almost like Heath Ledger's turn as The Joker, Congrats to Sam Lukowski for the performance that will be etched in Vimeo watchers eyes.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
7/10
Don't cross this one,She Bites !
13 July 2015
At one time AVENGED flicks were a kind of genre,It has been decades and perhaps time to return to Grindhouse PSA about how to treat women and those weaker with kindness and not as objects to be trashed & thrown away.

Lissa who plays HER, Is quite a good actress,You would think not your stereotype of victim or hero and you would be right,JUST WATCH & WAIT ! The gore is amazing and the action is all good and plentiful,Guess Anthony Matthews who wrote and directed REVENGE, Knew what he wanted and got it from his ensemble cast.

Comes out in August,But watch the trailer it shows a hint of what is to come,Which is misspelled and conjures such bad,bad images to this critics viewing of REVENGE.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
Creeper (II) (2012)
8/10
Who OUT Creeps The Creeper ?
6 July 2015
Stars : Darryl Baldwin,Tara Price and Rhonja Morrow.

Write & Directed By : Matthew Gunnoe.

This flick HAS Absolutely everything you are gonna want from a Horror/Action-Adventure hybrid of film.

So scary, That the women come off meaner than the supposed bad gut, Poor Darryl (sad face emoticon).

The stunts are impressive,Gore aplenty peoples and the props are amazingly used to utmost effect,What you might wanna know is how do a computer,bow/arrow/car battery and tazer have to do with each other.

Darryl is finally given that break through role that puts him up with Hodder,England and Robert Mukes.

Slick,Pretty and yet has some major ugly to be enjoyed.
2 out of 11 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
3:33 a.m. (2015)
5/10
Ah,Neighbors be all killin' and stuff....
29 June 2015
Stars : Jason Roth,Chris Kotcher.

Write & Directed by that Flaky Falicki.

You have a guy who made mistakes and went to prison to pay for them, A early release to to jail overcrowding and he is back on the streets under probational supervision in a odd half way for for the un-well and given a thankless job,Like in a Wal-mart.

The cast including the crazy shopper Jason Roth & the impressive Priest Chris Kotcher try to help this guy adjust to the neighborhood in Hell with Demons Next Door,Killing a lot of people some who are close to the hero in life and vicinity.
0 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
6/10
This is well done and musical gore too
22 June 2015
Stars: Kevin Scott Richardson & Diva Zappa.

write ,directed by : Ken Roht.

So, There is this well known neighborhood Vampire ( Richardson) and he loves his strippers,cocaine and drinking ANY blood available or not immediately.

Did we mention it's mostly a musical,Like Rocky Horror or maybe Young Frankenstein on Broadway ? There are a lot of hits and a few misses in plot,songs and execution of Horror,Music and Comedy.

The cast is actually pretty good and give much support to Richardson.

Wonder what the other Back Street Boys think of Kevin spewing neck tissue,blood constantly dripping from his mouth/chin and the occasional(constant depiction) of him snorting cocaine and maybe that is to explain why he so haphazardly devours victims and tears at their clothing while mid-devour.
2 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
10/10
Final Countdown for The Tech Geners
3 June 2015
Stars: Faran Tahir,Robbie Kay, Aqueela Zoll and Jonathan Nation.

Write by: Jacob Cooney & Bill Hanstock.

Directed by : Emile Edwin Smith.

Absolutely loved this flick, Hands down one of the best we have seen this year and miles above any from Those SHARKNADO peoples.

Started off thinking,Hey this isn't a Mockbuster,Huh ? Been accused of being a Final Countdown ( 1980) remake ?,Really, That was a long time ago and big studios have been remaking stuff from just a few years back since ever.

Acting is so good & real,Some effects were also right on like all the plane stuff,Some of the situations involving the wounded plane are to be forgived.
12 out of 50 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
San Andreas Quake (2015 Video)
7/10
No ROCK can crush this Mockbuster !
26 May 2015
Stars : Jhey Castles & Grace Van Dien.

Write & Directed By: John Baumgartner So, It's not SAN ANDREAS and Jhey Castles IS NOT 'The Rock', But Her and Grace Van Dien are both prettier than him….

Hey, Jason Woods is really good as the male lead,I suspected he was Micho Rutare Jr.,But been wrong before.

THERE is a helicopter,Like the one Overused in The Rock trailer.

Jhey Castles was so good in HANSEL Vs GRETEL as a baddie,To see her own a whole movie as it's heroine is quite a leap in acting ability.

Grace Van Dien, Will for awhile longer be associated as Casper Van Dien's daughter .

It's a good flick,Exciting,suspenseful and wild to see such evil happen to California,Besides that whole water thingy.
4 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
Road Wars (2015)
6/10
Tom Hardy - ish lead....
21 May 2015
It's not a horrible flick,Yes,Derivative of a '70s genre and playing those Mockbuster games with a Aussie – sounding doppelganger of a lead actor.

The cars are very cool and for not being cgi OR in a video game,They do awesome things on screen.

Liked the other lead John Freeman, He has a Robert Rusler look and was a rodeo cowboy so comes with that rugged look of Post Apocalypse naturally.

Wish they didn't use The Zombie cheat/cheap shot,Because then you sprinkle your screen with Walking Dead almost cast.

One accolade to Mark Atkins, You did it all buddy,And that is a impressive feat,No matter the results.
6 out of 28 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
8/10
Seriously Don't GO Upstairs...Ever !
11 May 2015
This is one cool flick,Yes,It takes awhile to build ,But, OMGosh then The Creatures….

The family that has to move too much,Is nice enough,Mom is Haut and so is daughter and Dad and son have layers.

The house seems like a good deal to our Much Moving Family and neighbors are nice enough.

The Creatures are really amazing and have a lot to do,Once they show up and get to feast on teenagers and the May/December couple and then… Wait,I hate spoilers and those who spoil,Get this flick,Bet on Amazon and Hulu plus.
1 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
7/10
El Quetzal De Jade aka The Jade Bird …A Maltese Falcon for Millenials
4 May 2015
So, It's a neat film,It has that Film Noir look(Not seen in decades,Maybe in the SIN CITY films,But this flick ain't cartoony like).

Fans of film that remember Humphrey Bogart in The Maltese Falcon,Will love this current update of story.

So, The Locations are impressive mostly Guatemala but also Quebec and Chinatown-Los Angeles.

The dialogue is mostly Spanish ( Subtitled in English),But a third of in English too.

The acting is really good and believable in character,Oh ! Anabel !! We do not like you,Just saying.

This film will do well…IF you like action-adventures,Telenovelas or just a well done film with camera work that spells out CLASSY and has a helicopter and fast cars.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
8/10
Nope,Not if I have to do that in public....
27 April 2015
Stars : Timothy V. Murphy & Trenton Rostedt.

Write & Directed by : Vick Wright.

This is one of those amazing films can combine things people have a passion for: Rock and Roll/pacts with the Devil/Horror.

Mr Wright brings us a tale of music,drugs,death and the surreal point …They all go together.

He has star qualities in his film – Timothy V. Murphy is fresh off his run as the Irish Mob Boss on SONS OF ANARCHY and Trenton Rostedt has just been in AGENTS OF SHIELD and GRIMM.

The soundtrack is as incredible as plot needs, Led by Airbourne & Badwater ,Needs a companion soundtrack on I-tunes to go with this movie.

Great acting, AWE-some Plot and Killer (pun intended) sound.
2 out of 13 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
8/10
Hansel,Can we say is a cool Witch Hunter !
7 April 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Stars : Jhey Castles,Brent Lydic and Lili Baross.

Write by : Jose Prendes.

Directed by: Ben Demaree.

WAIT a second this is a Mockbuster of Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters 1& 2 ….Sheesh,#2 wont be out till 2016,But the end of this flick IS A SPOILer ??? Okay,Just gonna get on with my review,For one thing huge fan of Jhey Castles (Haven't seen her since DEATH RATTLE : CRYSTAL ICE,Since was on The Asylum's 'Naughty List' for 2 years and missed her bigger Hollywierd fare.

Jhey leads a coven of witches wanting to pick up where Dee Wallace Stone's LILITH from HANSEL & GRETEL left off.

Hansel has really become a Bad Arse Witch Hunter(c) and Gretel,Not so much.

The Witch Coven members have different powers and so deaths are pretty creative,If that's a 'Thing'.

Oh,Yah,There is A lot of licking going on….
0 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
7/10
Take your breath away,Again & again.
23 March 2015
Stars : Jackey Hall & Devanny Pinn.

Write & Directed by : Jonathan Moody & John Johnson.

Amazing cast of pretty people,Really awe struck how lucky the casting was.

We don't do spoilers here,But so many vignettes with fast paced good writing & filmic execution.

The wraparound to anthology is a slumber party with co-eds telling Scary Stories.

Bashed -lead off and title is giveaway.

Backstabber – Sometimes text are innocent.

The Pledge – First appearance of Devanny Pinn and not the last,Lucky us.

Imaginary Fiend – neat idea,executed well.

Event Invitation – One of the longer segments ,With great set-ups of suspense. A note most of these entries are like 5 minutes.

The Dare – Has the incredible Jackey Hall in it.

Unlucky Night – One of our favorites,with a great pay-off at end.

Valentines Prey – Just take the flowers.

Capture & Kill – Very much a take off of the Duck Dynasty craze and has a great plot and open ended for sequel.

Noise Complaint – last entry and perhaps one of the most disturbing for its set up of events unfolding.

This reviewer was kind of exhausted after this barrage of icky mini – chillers.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
The Fallen (I) (2014)
7/10
It's NOT about a Tree...
18 March 2015
Stars : Sydnee M. Douglass & Jacklyn Dee.

Write & Directed by : Adam Beck & Scott Seargeant.

Very,very emotional short film about separation of a daughter and father and what symbolizes that in a most poetic way.

The cast is excellent,The mother Jacklyn Dee was also in THE THANK YOU, The award winner at World Ag Expo.

The father is a soldier heading off to defend US,He tries to explain to his daughter he must leave and that she will have their favorite tree and it's swing to remind her of him.

After he leaves her mom & her put a yellow ribbon around tree, As so many of us have done until loved ones return.

What happens next,Has to do with title,and we don't do spoilers on films we like, See THE FALLEN whenever you can.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
Avengers Grimm (2015 Video)
Its better than most,and it has chicks
13 March 2015
Stars : Casper Van Dien,Lou Ferrigno and Snow White,Rapunzel,Cinderella,Sleeping Beauty and Little Red Riding Hood.

Write & Directed by : Jeremy M. Inman Must admit,Have wanted to see this flick since it was announced.

Not disappointed in the least,It has all The Mockbuster goodness,You would expect and more much more in exact dialogue 'That puts that tongue in that cheek' and Even a Avengers Hawkeye nod in plot that Rocked ! Casper as an oddly named villain is mucho over-the-top and enjoys every moment of his scenery chewing.

Lou Ferrigno may have had that once in a career chance to shine, And he plays with gusto,Not seen in other Superheriocs by major studios.

OK,Don't think a major spoiler that this looks like a franchise and a welcome one at that.
16 out of 64 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
8/10
Last works from THE HOWLING writer...
9 March 2015
stars : Scarlet Fry.

A film by: Richard Stoudt & Laurence Holloway.

This film of 3 Very Scary short stories is so ,so good.

One of the stories INVITATION is by the late writer of 'The Howling' flicks,No werewolves are seen or unseen,But Blood Marys abound.

let's go back to the beginning,Wraparound story takes place in a Bookstore (?) they still exist,This one may not,Could be a Ghostly apparition with as much gore that resides within some of it's tomes and SCARLET FRY is the ye old bookstore clerk.

The story ALL HALLOWS EVE is definitely an anti-drinking and driving warning,Stated very well and the gore and acting is excellent.

So,The last bit is call RE-POSSESSED ,About a haunted Silver Corvette( There went there budget,Sheesh.)Love 'haunted cars flicks' anyway and this is no exception-Great story,Acting was right on,The car deserves to be added to 'Creepy Cars From Films ' list that all those Vloggers get to post too much.

One last comment,Excellent music thru-out film,really sets ALL the moods.
2 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
This Machine will make you Scream !!!
3 March 2015
Stars: Lloyd Kaufman,Scarlet Fry and Paul C. Hemmes.

Scarlet Fry and I got our start in Don Dohler's Cinemagic magazine in the '70s and Scarlet has re-captured those glory daze of Shot- On -Video with Scream Machine.

This anthology is pretty amazing and through crowd funding producers, Scream Machine is able to achieve it's full potential and 'Scare The Drug High right out of your Gourd' ! 5 segments : SLEDGEHAMMER : Haven't Baseball Horror since THE CATCHER '98( with Joe Estevez & David Heavener),Seriously Sport Horror flicks,A Lost Niche' ?=This segment is really good with a nice build-up of suspense,good characters and awesome gore.

CANNIBAL PEN-PALS : So this LBGT person has a thing for Jeffrey Dahmer ( Oh,I guess it's a flashback to when he wasn't offed by cell-mates) and mimics 'Jeffrey-isms' wink/wink/nudge/nudge.

Missed the third segment's title card,But it's about April Fool's Jokes gone really,really bad…Kids Don't Do Drugs ! SEPTIC SHOCK : Funny,Gross and great script set-up to eventual come uppance.

DEADLY INDIE DRIVE-IN : Okay,So this is the final spot and gives the 'New' Discovery – Paul C. Hemmes a chance to shine and has some cool '4th Wall Breaking' goodness.
2 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
Cut! (2014)
8/10
CUT ! That's not what it means,That's not what any of this means !
26 February 2015
Stars : Suze Lanier-Bramlett and Gabrielle Stone.

Write,Directed by : David Banks,David Rountree.

Think you watching something you might have watched before,OH NO You haven't,This film takes those SOV reality based whodunnits to the raw nerve.

Great cast who are oh, so believable and with some star talent like Suze and Gabrielle ( Who breaks a fourth wall rule with character,That 'Scream' series attempted and here CUT ! succeeds).

OK,There is a killer, ' Duh', But writing that isn't a spoiler,Believe this critic, Please.

The quality of filming techniques is apparent from beginning,The cast & crew know how to tell a complex,scary tale and yet,Was it a tale ?
3 out of 16 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
8/10
The AUNT is scarier than the Ghost...Grrr !
19 February 2015
Stars: John Chiara and Alana Kaniewski Write by : Rocky Karlage and Directed by: Steve Olander So,This might be part of anthology to be released separately and then edited into a feature ? Based on real incidents involving a haunted house and a ghost child.

There was so much to love about this flick,The leads are awesome and need to work more,John Chiara stands out as a amazing leading man type.

The effects and editing are amazing, We could not believe the rain and scare moments and was really scary at times.

That car,The Mustang is a car seen usually in much bigger budget films.

Before ending this review,Let's talk about The Aunt,Holly Neelie,You are a very good actress,Early on in the film,Was thinking —Why that look? Then later in story…Grrr,We no likes you At All !!!
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
Spammer (2015)
Be Carefull What You Phish For,No really...
12 February 2015
Stars: Mahesh Kotagi and Marc Kaye.

Write,Directed by : John Iwasz & Sanj Surati.

Wow,Thought was gonna see some Scary Bollywood Musical,Nope It's a funny film based on H.P. Lovecraft and those MORE evil phone callers selling stuff or stealing our personal information for there gain.

Great cast,You have seen these types in your life,Except for the Cthulhu

guy,Yikes !!!

The story is set up so nice,You tend to believe who the bad guy is and then there is a 'Bait & Switch' with characters and the plot goes to a bad place and you Laugh,Laugh,Laugh…Almost a Guilty Pleasure moment .
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
Counter Parts (2014)
8/10
Sister sharing,IS NOT Caring !
10 February 2015
Stars : Somiya Finley,Lonita Cook and whoever was the chauffeur ? Write & Directed by: Michelle Davidson/ Patrick Rea.

So much goodness in this little 'Icky' tale.

The sisters had to share everything there whole lives and these are some selfish little b-words who don't play nice with anyone, especially siblings in need.

The acting by Somiya Finley is amazing, and real , and oh so cold .

Not to be out done was the Voodoo woman, Lonita Cook, And the Chauffeur/Caregiver/Comic relief…Wanted to see more of you too ! That would be our negative comment,Wanted the plot to build and Patrick Rea pushed it to a climax, That was shocking and a 'AHA' moment without compromise or wasting of a viewer's time.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful?
Report this | Copied to clipboardCopy link
An error has occured. Please try again.