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Reviews
Cobra Kai: December 19 (2021)
Starting to Lose Me
I began to wonder in past episodes why founder Kreese never brought up copyright issues over Johnny using the name "Cobra Kai." Here in this episode I'm having more of an issue over why the students of Miyagi-Do [sic?] and Eagle Fang don't file charges against Cobra Kai for home invasion, destruction of property, and willful assault in an unprovoked attack with, in at least one instance, intent to kill. The lack of filing charges renders the aftermath of the attack as somewhat silly and vastly illogical -- yeah, a bit fun to both watch and admire the fight choreography, but stupid. And, in the midst of this, I lost the thread of reason behind Robby throwing his allegiance in with Kreese.
Fraternity X: Put His Ass Down (2017)
In Lust and Defense of a Hot Mom
The main clash lies between a heterosexual man's pursuit of an older woman (for sex) and the morality of a loyal heterosexual son defending his mother's honor. The story is this: Gauge has a "hot mom." Russel, recognizing this, wouldn't be opposed to having a tryst with her and sets up a motel date with her (making it all sound somewhat innocent). Gauge, seeing Russel in pursuit of sex alone, stands up for his mom, objecting to Russel's hotel rendezvous set-up, thereby crossing the line when it comes to interfering with a horny fraternity brother's pursuit of women. That's just not done, and Russel is highly offended. As men, Gauge and Russel are each appealing. While Gauge is masculinely handsome with beautiful features, Russel is a tall warrior, appealingly muscular and a deeply solid male. Gauge, the shorter of the two, nonetheless has no problem taking a stance on principle and letting his objection be known. Russel retaliates with three frat brothers in tow, ganging up on Gauge to say that no man stands against another in the natural and rightful pursuit of female companionship. This also touches on the issue that, by society's norms, no child (even though Gauge has entered adulthood) should view his mother as a sexual object. It is natural for Gauge to object. For Russel, an older but attractive woman is fair game. Then you have the subject of young males (usually younger than college age) finding themselves attracted to a friend's mother (and often being strikingly gallant about it). This, too, is a normal development requiring sensitive handling by older women. Gauge, standing up for his mother and telling Russel to back off, steps into the psychological line of fire between Russel's penis and Gauge's mother's receptive vagina (even though it's all in Russel's mind). He who gets in the way of the dick gets the dick. The force of Russel's desire can not be deflected, and other frat brothers, being sexual pigs (and mostly all bigger than Gauge, too), side with Russel and join him in chastising Gauge's interference, raping Gauge, each enjoying Gauge's suffering while regarding him as a substitute, or test model, for either/both his mother or/and his sister, stuffing his anus with their erections as they think of his man-pussy as a test run leading towards his family's vaginas (weirdly contending, if they think about it, for the honor of being Gauge's new step-daddy or brother-in-law). Gauge, though raped, will probably not lose his moral value over this, but will probably be more wary of his fraternity brothers' sex drives in future. As to his mother, she probably recognized Russel's boyish attraction and, if not, would likely have handled it with a sensitive rebuff of his natural but age-inappropriate attentions (though she probably will be horrified to hear what Russel and the others did to her son for standing up to them). A nice wrestling of social taboo issues, all in all.
Fraternity X: The New Guy has a Big Dick (2011)
The Art of Gentle Persuasion
Among the boisterous gang bangs and gang rapes that abound in this series, this is among the quieter episodes, with Dayton quietly, dominantly, and almost reassuringly stretching bottom man Ayden to his physical limit. Under the guise of recruitment (Jackson's), Dayton takes his loving time with Ayden, mildly admonishing him to hang in there and endure the pain en route to the primary goal - Dayton's ejaculation (and, oh yeah, Jackson's too). Cameraman Conner does a nice job of goading the action here and there (harder... fuck him harder), seeming more interested in Ayden's discomfort than Dayton.
Fraternity X: Take My Load! (2013)
Baa Baa White Sheep
Jumps right into the action without any lead-up, leaving viewers to wonder what Morgan's done (if anything) to deserve such disregard and harsh treatment from his fraternity brothers. (Only the end reveals there's "a lesson being taught" as a result of finding Morgan beating off on Sean's bed.) Sometimes delayed explanations work, but not so much here, setting viewer emotions against the lesson-givers. Unfortunately, the annoying nails-on-a-blackboard detail about this episode is the barrage of Sean's goat-like laugh, rat-a-tatting throughout (or at least through the first half), sounding forced and insincere.
Erin & Aaron (2023)
Highly Annoying
Combines the set layout of Henry Danger with the Joke-VomitOfLaughter-Joke-VomitOfLaughter style of Two & a Half Men with exceedingly crass parents and with an irritatingly mean little girl in the likes of Drake & Josh and Henry Danger but without any of the charm or appeal of Megan and Piper. Determinedly watched all episodes and succeeded (taking several days in-between to recover). The presentation either calmed down a little by the seventh episode of I simply acclimated to it. Typically vapid modern-day adolescent pop music. (Loved only the hard rock guitar song about an astronaut dog by a competitor in episode 13 - sounded really good). Blame everything on the script, kept deliberately dumb but given high octane fuel. Cast seems all right (replaceable but competent). Highly unrealistic. Filled with lame ideas ('cause all the good ones have been taken?). Too much of an unrelenting formula pounded repeatedly into the public.
Marcelino pan y vino (1955)
A Boy Dies - Hallelujah, Brothers! It's a Miracle!
This story reads like an episode of Night Gallery (with overtones of The Exorcist): Marcelino, a six-year-old orphan boy raised by monks, heeds the voice of a playmate named Manuel (not Capt. Howdy) whom no one else can see or hear, and who guides Marcelino into pulling pranks on the very monks who care for him -- interrupting their prayers with intrusive goats, filling their meal pots with frogs, muffling the church bell, etc. Above all else, the brothers warn him against ascending a stairway where, locked away, there's "a big man who will take him away forever." (By the end, it becomes clear why this "big man" -- a sorrowful statue -- must be avoided.) Encouraged by the voice of Manuel to defy the warning, the fearless boy ascends the stairs and discovers a statue of crucified Jesus. The boy believes the statue to be alive and brings it food and wine, which the statue accepts. In return for the hospitality, the statue asks the boy if he wishes for anything. The boy asks to see his dead mother -- along with the statue's mother, too, if at all possible. The statue says he can indeed grant this wish and leaves the cross to take the boy in his arms. The monks arrive just in time to see Jesus return to his crucifix, leaving Marcelino dead at its feet (well, in a chair, really). Afterwards, the boy's death is yearly celebrated as a miracle. Too bad the monks couldn't afford to put a lock on the door and keep this curious kid alive.
Young Perps: Under the Underwear (2022)
Luke Truong Improves
Though Under the Underwear has Dec 2022 as its release date, and Bust Me Again has Feb 2023 as its release date, Luke Truong comes across as more of a novice to adult entertainment in the later, making it seem as if Bust Me Again was the first episode produced. Frequently grinning In Bust Me, he seems out of character, but in Under the Underwear, he smiles less and handles more dialogue, seeming more in character and at ease as a performer.
The story here is pretty straight forward and common - business as usual for Young Perps, with no clever dialogue. There is, however, plenty of room for commentary on Luke's build, like he's a high school, fair-of-face football player or something, or a chance to wrongfully question his immigration status as an Asian, but alas there's nothing. And, when Luke leaves the bathroom and sees Officer Ford outside the door, there's no reaction to suggest Luke's guilt. It would seem there should be since Luke just hid jewelry of some kind around his testicles.
All in all, there could be more, but it's all right as is.
Young Perps: Arrogance and Lust (2022)
Reminiscent of Monty Python's Flying Circus
Remember Monty Python's Comfy Chair sketch where the Spanish Inquisition "tortures" an old lady by forcing her to sit in a plush chair? This is somewhat like that. For Rave Harddick's atrocious behavior toward an elderly woman named Rosie, Security Officer AJ Sloan begins punishing Rave by sucking his dick, then by sticking a couple fingers in his mouth, then by allowing Rave to spank AJ's tongue and face with his erect penis. When it's determined Rave enjoys ass-play, full-on sodomy, of course, follows. It's all backwards. You get the idea. And AJ can't understand how Rave remains incorrigible.
Young Perps: Teach Him a Lesson (2022)
A Missed Opportunity for a Great Ending
Due to editing, an unexplained break in the narrative occurs at 22:47. Two sofa cushions suddenly appear on the conference table beneath Zach and Sean. (Must have been hard for the actors to continue having sex on the hard, bare surface.) Both of Zach's pants have been on the table up to this point but have been inconspicuously moved to the floor, their new location not to be noticed until the end when Zach grabs them in his rush to leave the room. He definitely grabs the wrong shirt in leaving, but for an instant it seems he's grabbed the wrong pants too.
How great that would have been! For the most part in Young Perps, these horny officers can't wait to be rid of the perpetrators after violating them and reaching orgasm, harshly and coldly ordering them from the room. While Zach and Sean may get away with wearing each other's shirts, their pants sizes are obviously different, with Sean's waistline being bigger than Zach's. After throwing Zach out, Sean would sit in recovery from the sexual experience before redressing -- only to discover, with Zach long gone, that the pants left behind are not his and too small to wear. In effect, he just sent away his rape victim with his car keys, his security keys and his wallet. What a great comeuppance and personal dilemma THAT would have been - no pants to wear to leave the scene of his crime. A lesson learned, indeed.
Young Perps: I'm Not Gay (2022)
Weak Subtext
The scene reads strongly as if these two men are role-playing, that they know each other and are engaging in sex during work hours (possibly as friends with benefits). It is otherwise hard to swallow that strong, straight, manly "perpetrator" Tyler Castle can be so easily overcome by wormy Officer Jack Hunter with a pair of handcuffs and persuaded to be the top man between them. At the end, it becomes more of a case that "Jack's jollies" are in turning a straight men gay (or at least bi-sexual) by forcing them to experience man-to-man sex and having them discover its enjoyable qualities. The story just shouts of needing a different direction.
Young Perps: Strange Noises (2021)
Cole Church Continues To Impress
In just about every episode to feature Cole Church, the level of nuanced dialogue rises. Here, his character is cooly pragmatic and a bit heartless, putting his relationship with Adam in question: Are they lovers or just together for sex? Is one a call boy and the other a trick? Are they somewhat of a one-night stand, ships about to pass in the night? Cole's readiness to trade or sell Adam is a bit unusual for guys outside of prison. Adam, by comparison, is naive and a romantic, looking for something more long-term, which puts Cole, who cares less, in charge of their relationship, whatever that is. And Officer Napoli is just a hedonist who misuses his authority to dominate and get off on younger males.
Young Perps: The Photographer (2023)
Inexperience Shows
The thrust of the story seems generally right, but the awkwardness of inexperienced performers, and a half-baked chemistry between them, results in an unclear and unbalanced outcome. The oddest moment, the sudden leap of one performer atop the other, comes without a believable setup and seems mostly like what it is - an instruction by the director. Then there's the surprise ending, where the officer leaves to send the perp into the hands of the police and prison. While there have been other perps in the past who deserved to go (and weren't), this boy is hardly one of them. Forcing him to remain naked and sending him off to prison to be the new and overly used sex toy of hardened criminals seems to be a severe and cruel (and somewhat darkly comic) punishment far in excess of his crime.
Young Perps: That's Not My Gift (2023)
Best Mouth in the Series
In the past, Cole Church has displayed a gift for gab, coming up with strange, twisting directions in his dialogue, but Keith Foxxx gobbles the cake in his long spiel herewithin -- worthy of being an actor's audition piece -- aiming for sympathy and begging for mercy (from unsympathetic and unmoved Officer Jaxon Valor). Though this episode's production sustains many edits, Keith's lengthy speech smooths through them and nullifies their notice. The sexual action ain't bad either. Whereas other tattooed performers kind of wear out their welcome, Keith Foxxx has not (in this, so far, his only Young Perps appearance).
Young Perps: An Attitude Problem (2023)
Appreciated Follow-through
Unlike the previous episode (Stealing Your Attention), An Attitude Problem follows through on its conclusion. Instead of simply ejecting the perp from the back office after completion of sexual actions (to supposedly walk naked through the store and parking lot), the perp -- with cum on both his face and his six-pack, and a bundle of ripped clothing in his arms -- objects to abruptly being tossed out. Couldn't he at least be allowed to redress before his exit? No. The perp and the officer do not part as friends. The cold expulsion from the room makes sense and gives the character of the security guard an extra edge of appropriate meanness. Nice!
Young Perps: Case #1901053-71 (2019)
Too Many Smiles
This looks like very early adult entertainment work for Marcus Tresor (possibly his first). Early on in this Young Perps episode, he smiles way too much. It looks like it comes from the actor rather than from his character, making it impossible to determine his character's psychology or motivations. Is he horny as hell, always at the ready to rub one out, or not? Left alone in the back office, he can't resist pulling his pud, but when Officer Enrique Hernandez provides him an opportunity to get his rocks off, Marcus becomes resistant and dick shy. It's very unclear what Marcus' character is supposed to be. The site fails to tie his nervousness into a better story.
Young Perps: Case No. 1811048-36 (2018)
Rough
It is a talkative episode, but the flow of dialogue is not smooth. Both performers are a little wooden, but it is Greg McKeon as the Loss Prevention officer who has the lion's share of words. What is said IS of interest -- depicting a corrupt authority figure severely misusing his authority to dominate and control innocent male victims -- but the flow of improvised lines is not quite natural, sometimes using incorrect pronouns. Still, the unfairness of the situation comes through, as does the dominance of an unchecked security guard having his way with an incorrectly profiled innocent shopper.
Fraternity X: Freshman Ass (2012)
Surprisingly Forgettable
The action standard is here -- horny frat brothers bear down resolutely on one fellow's mouth and ass to achieve orgasms -- but there's no afterglow, per se. Why? Some of that might be due to bottom man Seth keeping his face turned away during sodomy. He could have been replaced with a body double for all anyone can tell. Then there's the fact that no one gets fully undressed (symbolically getting fully into it?) except for Anthony, who, after a long while, finally strips down to all but his shoes near the end. Sitting down makes his full frontal nudity unnoticeable at first, but when he stands, it's a "Where did YOU come from?" moment. The sexual activity's fine, the frat chat is fine (demanding Seth be a champ and hang in there, et cetera), it's just completely not memorable later on.
Fraternity X: Pays the Rent (2012)
Is the Grass Greener Next Door?
This is an earlier, gentler episode in the series without all the callous and cold man's inhumanity to man, male rape stuff that will become a recurring feature. Here, the guys seem invested in feeling good. Gay sex for pleasure. The tops are generally at ease with the pace set by the blow job bottom guys, and the sodomy segment, though strong, doesn't involve super-slamming for the sake of giving pain. The Anthony character, though, switches back and forth between bottoms, as if seeking the yard with the greener grass, never quite satisfied with what he has. Side note: While Anthony Mose looks like a regular, well-scrubbed fellow, all his chain smoking during sex shows him truly to be nothing more than a filthy little fucker, moving on the appeal scale from an 8 or above to a 1 or below.
Young Perps: Searching the Perp (2021)
Dicks May Sag But You Just Don't Care
Cole Church has an impressive gift for gab. In the midst of boning a guy's ass, he can deliver some of the most off-the-wall comments heard under erotic circumstances. For instance, as he forces Darron Bluu to ride his cock, he suddenly asks if Darron finds the swivel chair they are on more comfortable than the foldout chair. Comfort?? Forced to accept Cole's dick, how could Darron possibly care? With such surprising, dark, and monstrously humored utterances, it's easy not to notice that neither performer sports a stiffy. It's not about sex. It's about dominance. As for Darron Bluu, he perfectly plays the innocent shopper pulled into the back room and raped, moaning and groaning throughout his undeserved ordeal (where his lack of a boner is correctly suited).
Gamera: Rebirth: Over Tokyo (2023)
A Series For Every Member in a Smut-Mouth Family to Enjoy
Who is this series written for? What's the target audience? In the portrayal of the child characters, every emotional nuance is highlighted with oos and ahs and ohs. It's a very stylized sort of acting, irritatingly abnormal but one supposedly adapted for an audience of little children so they don't miss the slightest degree of these characters' emotional connections. On the other hand, potty-mouth is well utilized, which would seem more suited to adults. In real live, of course, modern kids are pretty well-acquainted with adult language. It's only surprising to hear it in a Gamera (the Children's Friend) movie.
Fraternity X: The Midnight Snack (2012)
True Sexual Athletes
Though the action centers on two guys (Angelo and Tyler), there's something to be said for the enthusiasm of the three cameramen (Anthony, Scotty and Jackson), with Scotty, at one point, almost up in Anthony's balls striving for a good, tight shot, while Jackson, at the other end of the action with his camera, actually leans on Tyler's shoulder for support as Tyler's pinned to the floor getting plowed. (How close does one HAVE to be?) Though many gay porn actors are gay-for-pay, Angelo and Tyler's efforts are quite convincing at sex for pleasure between sexual athletes. As bottom man Tyler progressively begs for more, Angelo works relentlessly and restlessly between positions to access all the pleasure points he can, rimming, kissing, sucking toes, sodomizing Tyler on a bed, one the floor, and against a wall. It's a lot of energy spent on the parts of both men.
Fraternity X: A Hole is a Hole (2012)
How's They Stay Awake For THIS One?
Two drunken guys (presumably frat bros) have sex -- dudes who, if sober, wouldn't have had anything to do with each other. One persuades the other to share in some all-male sex, claiming that, when it comes to differentiating any differences between men and women (when drunk), "a hole is a hole." With that, the languid "action" begins. The audio is quite quiet, mostly silent save for the sound of a ceiling fan that reminds the viewer of life existing somewhere on other levels in the universe. Either fella (and this can include either cameraman as well) could have lapsed into sleep at any point -- not from exhaustion but simply from "Who cares?"
Fraternity X: Pass Around Ass Holes (2011)
Surprisingly Gentle and Considerate
Compared to what this series would generally become -- replete with calloused horndogs gang raping each other for individual pleasure -- this season #1 episode is surprisingly gentle and considerate. As one young man's rectum gets sore from the friction of gay sex, another man is used as a replacement to give the first man a break. Neither man is sodomized far past the point of hurting. They ARE frat brothers -- desiring sex, yes, but having to live with and, to a humane degree, watch out for each other. Dare this action be called gentle? And the bottom men mostly LIKE providing sexual service.
Clipped Wings (1953)
Fast, Loose, Sloppy, Uninspired and Sexist
A fast, loose, sloppy and uninspired story incorporating slapstick for its own sake that does not hold together well. Its depiction of man-hungry women sorely dates the story most of all. Sach (a.k.a. Horace Debussy Jones) joins the Air Force, which misassigns him to a women's barrack, where attractive females are so unbelievably starved for men that they accept his presence eagerly and hungrily, hanging onto his every word despite his physical weakness and quite less than handsome looks. The misassignment is due to his being mistaken for another "H. Jones," a WAC rookie who never shows up in the story.
Now seventy years after its original release, this seems a missed opportunity to introduce a strong female character, a woman who wants equal treatment and the chance to prove herself equal to it (believing she's been barracked among men as a deterrent rather than by mistake and keeps her sex on the down-low), and who might later figure in helping Horace in some way. That would be interesting. That would be screwball comedy. That would be modern. As is, though, it's a character whose physical presence never shows up to straighten things out, which adds to other story details that make the day-to-day functions of the U. S. Air Force -- known for recruiting among the highest IQs -- appear stupid and desperate for an overhaul.
The Tomorrow People (1992)
For the Love of Tessier
I got into The Tomorrow People because of the inclusion of Christian Tessier (Megabyte). He came across so well in You Can't Do That on Television that I wanted to see more of him. He basically did well here in the second banana comedic foil role, but now, these many years later, I hate to admit he wasn't as strong an actor as I had expected. Basically his biggest flaw was in the frequent script demands for him to laugh. Megabyte laughed when he was nervous, laughed at his own jokes, and laughed in effort to disarm others with a wry comment and be charming. It often did not work, but the scripts kept unkindly demanding it of him and he dutifully kept plugging along. Time or attention needed to be paid to make these laughs seem genuine (or to adjust his character to make intention come across better). Christian Schmid (Adam) and Naomie Harris (Ami) were by contrast flawless.
The series itself was best when kids with paranormal abilities confronted adults misusing technological advances (hybridizing, a genetic copy machine, weather manipulation, electronic net). (I hoped for but never got a scene where Megabyte would accidentally sneeze into the cornucopia machine and get drenched in his own snot -- cover your mouth, kid!) The series -- promoted as the first kid's sci-fi adventure series -- derailed when it veered into horror (a boy ghost, an unwrapped mummy, demonic possession from hostile aliens), becoming too frightening for younger viewers.
Still, and in spite of the 2013 American reboot that eschewed all that was charming and endearing, innocent and fun, this mid-'90s Nickelodeon series maintains a special place in my heart. And I still favor the inclusion of Christian Tessier.
(Oh, that the series didn't last long enough for Adam to build a lifeguard tower on the deserted island to sit and wait for other Tomorrow People to appear in the ocean so he could save them from hungry shark attacks.)