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Pure Madness... I love it
24 November 2002
Some of the reviews on this film are entertaining. To call these two guys pot heads are like calling a McDonalds employee a gourmet chef. This film is utter madness. No plot, really, just a quick visit into a period of complete insanity thanks to mescaline and other drugs. I felt fried just watching this movie, at times my stomach twisting a bit. If there ever was an anti-drug, it could quite possibly be this movie. The nonstop use and the mood swings of these two make you want to never even touch it. Although, that won't stop some of us. :) Grade A performances and perfectly matched cinematography. Watch out for those reptiles, folks.
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Very Very Funny... At Least Under The Influence
7 September 2002
The first and only time I watched this movie I was heavily mood altered via herbal substances and all I can say is that this movie was HILARIOUS. I, and a group of others, could not stop laughing. As I watched through slitted eye lids, the imagery made for nonstop laughs. Many scenes all I could do was concentrate on trying to spot the computer-modified head replacements... made even more difficult to spot while trying to unwrap the candy I was eating. Under the influence, this movie is a 9/10. Without... probably 5/10.
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Signs (2002)
3/10
What A Crappity Crap movie
10 August 2002
Warning: Spoilers
I didn't really like it. It was too preachy and the aliens were moronic. Here are two perfect descriptions:

"Hey, look at that planet. It's 75% poison. Let's land there! Hopefully they won't have doors here."

I've decided that what the aliens did would be roughly equivalent to me and my friends getting together and attacking a planet where the majority of lifeforms subsisted on lava,and were themselves 60% lava. The number one resource on the planet would be, of course, lava. Lava would fall from the sky. Lava would cover a good 75% of the planet.

What a bunch of religious propaganda and a sell-out ending. So, aliens evolved beyond pants? The plot sunk in. Aliens. Defeated due to doorknobs. And wood. They travelled a countless distance to attack a farmhouse. Poorly.

The Simpsons episode where the aliens are defeated with planks of wood with nails in them came to mind.

If this was a "scouting" mission, they probably should have picked up on the whole "75% water" aspect. Namely, what were the directors/aliens thinking? I love how they remind us that they have scouts just so we can make fun of them for invading a planet filled with water, where it also rains water, and water is used daily by all life forms on said planet. Also, after all that talk of having to find a way to beat the aliens back, they seem susceptible to baseball bats, and therefore more susceptible to baseball bats with moist towels on them, or possibly bullets and missles.

Gotta love the fact that they don't know how to open doors either. Poor Gary (which is what I deem to be the name of that alien now), getting locked in a pantry, then missing his army's retreat and running into a room filled with glasses of water and humans. To top that off, he fails at killing an asthmatic, unconcious, child. I love how the only way they can kill you is by sticking their hand in your face (or maybe that was just Gary and his Private Pyle-like antics). Failures, a race of failures. They are very good at shaking and banging on doors though, oh yes!

The ships, oh the ships. Yes, they are invisble in the day, but glow brightly at night. Gooo aliens!

Overall, quite a funny movie. I couldn't help but laugh at some scenes, like the one I described above, with Gary bursting into the room full of humans. The whole theater gasps, and is then interrupted by my maniacal laughter. I demand a comedy/horror sequel where we battle aliens with super soakers and water balloons.

Some things I just don't understand:

1. Aliens are harvesting people. So they send ships to major cities where there are LOTS of people. However, they also send a ship or two or however many to BUMSTEAD, PA to harvest the 8 people who live there? What?

2. Aliens melt when water is on them, yet they're harvesting humans who possess absurd amounts of water in their bodies, can SPIT onto them as a weapon, and live on a planet consisting of 70% water. I don't know, but if I'm a human, and I want to invade a planet, I'm not choosing the one that has huge seas of hydrochloric acid, and who's inhabitants spit, and drip acid out of every pore. Not even if their bones are made from gold.

3. They have the insanely powerful ship technology, but can't seem to get in or out of a wooden pantry that I could easily break through? Sure...I get it...they are so highly evolved that physical exertion is thousands of years back in their evolution. Yet they can run faster than us and jump up onto buildings. Which would explain the poison-gas wrist-thingies, right? I mean...that's logical, that makes sense.

4. A farmer in the middle of PA, who farms corn, doesn't have a single firearm in the house? Or a stash? Even if he is a preacher, I find it absurd. I mean, I read Preacher. Jesse Custer carries shotguns and rifles and pistols frequently, and knows how to use them. Lame.

5. M. Night Shyamalamnammanmnqyana has lost a lot of weight. He looked like your average everyday guy in this one, and in Sixth Sense, he looked all chubby and fat. But he plays a Doctor in one, and a Vet in the other...weird...some bizarre medical fetish, I suppose.

Don't waste your time on this drivle and don't try to convince yourself that he's a genius. he's just playing up to America's post 9-11 "Faith is everything" crap.
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Perfect Example Of Afghanistanimation
10 August 2002
I missed this film in the theaters... but on advice from some online forums, I bought the dvd. I am very glad I did. After watching a disappointing "Signs" last night, this movie is exactly what I needed. Very funny, I was howling. There were a few slow moments in the film, but there was a ton of comedy in there. If you like laughing, you'll love this movie.
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The Greatest Movie Ever Made, And I'm Not Kidding
28 July 2002
Some people have the Star Wars or Star Trek movies. Some claim Citizen Kane. But there are those of us out there that hold this movie, The Big Lebowski, as our ultimate favorite movie of all time. Reasons? It's the cast, it's the dialogue, the cinematography, the comedy, the zaniness, the memorable lines, everything. I couldn't even ask for a better cast.

But damn, I wish the Dude got his rug back. "Shut the f*** up Donny."
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Very Good
28 July 2002
I'd just seen Drawing Flies... I bought it on a whim hoping I'd like it as it was a View Askew Production. It was awful. Just awful. So I was worried about A Better Place, but I took another chance. I was very pleased. It was a $40,000 budget but I think it looks good. The acting is so-so in places of course, and there are actually a few blurry scenes, but overall it's very well done. The character who plays Ryan definitely worked well. The story itself was very intriguing and I could relate to it, having grown up in similar situations. It's not a happy story, so don't expect a comedy. Very good. B+
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Drawing Flies (1996)
Dreadfully Bad
28 July 2002
I bought the Drawing Flies dvd without ever seeing the movie. I took a chance since it was a View Askew Production. The intro began with Kevin Smith saying this was the movie that he decided Jason Lee could do a full role in for Chasing Amy. Whatever. This movie is horrible. HORRIBLE. It's terribly acted, terrible plot, terrible everything. Don't bother. I rate it a D-. By the way, if you go to a Vulgarthon, don't be afraid to stand up and say how much the movie stank during the question session. But don't give up, go see A Better Place, a much better film and also a View Askew Production.
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Wow, I love this movie
12 July 2002
Since I'm not a bitter, struggling, jealous film student, I can say I love this movie! I've liked Bottle Rockets and Rushmore... but never caught them in a theater. I rented the first two and fell in love. Just like those 2, I missed this one in the theater and took a chance by buying the dvd before seeing it. I can't be any more pleased. The movie is terrific. You have to really be into this type of movie... it doesn't have a direct plot and it doesn't spell things out for you. Just imagine a snippet of someone's life and the quirky things that happen. I also love how the movie is narrated. It's like watching a play of sorts. The cast of characters is so well constructed and you really come to care for them. It's side splittingly funny at times, depressing at others, and completely enjoyable. Watch it with an open mind, this isn't your standard film. Don't be a film student, enjoy it!
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Insomnia (2002)
9/10
Very well done and engrossing
4 June 2002
Warning: Spoilers
MINOR SPOILERS: I went into this movie expecting a lot, luckily I got back what I wanted. Nolan did absolutely fabulous on Memento and his indie film Following. So I was excited to see him tackle a big budget movie. This was pretty much an Al Pacino movie the whole way through. I've never seen a more haggard looking Pacino. He definitely seems like a cop who's lost his way and is just trudging through life. Hilary Swank was very good as the young Alaskan cop. I'm glad she didn't try to play the role too gung ho, but still had a strong female lead. And Robin Williams surprised me playing the murderer trying to find his wild card.

The film was beautiful. Some of the arial scenes over the Alaskan environment had me ooing and ahing. At points I was expecting Lovecraft's Mountains Of Madness (set in Antartica) to begin. The scene with the logs in the river had me holding my breath right along with Pacino.

Very well done, perfect resolution at the end, don't miss.
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Session 9 (2001)
Surprisingly Good Flick
20 April 2002
I saw this one and rented based souly on the quick summary on the back of the box. What a good surprise. The movie was really well done, especially for its budget. I'm a horror movie veteran, and me having to use my imagination again was a great feeling. I found myself turning on lights in my room when it was still daylight out. I even had to stop the movie to take a break. Watching it alone...

The ending makes complete sense to me. Go rent this one. The whole cast was pretty good. Brendan Sexton (Pecker, Welcome to the Dollhouse) has a mullet, Caruso makes you wonder what happened to his career since he is a damn fine actor.
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Idiotic Movie - Just What I Wanted
20 April 2002
I rented this movie expecting it to be bad and it sure was. It definitely reminded me of some bad movies of the past. It had the stereotypical "car gang" members: the nerd, the muscles, the lead, the chick. All formula. Parts of it reminded me of The Wraith from the 80's, but not as good. Terrible acting, terrible plot. But I rented it for the cars. This movie is a Rice Boy's wet dream. Luckily I'm not one and just wanted to see some gawdy over-priced japanese cars that sound like they are farting get into wrecks. It delivered! Don't forget to stay for after the credits for about 30 more seconds of film.
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Maybe I'm Not A Fanboy
16 March 2002
I always thought I was a Kevin Smith fanboy, but after this movie I know I'm not. I didn't like it. I've never met anyone who has raved about it. I walked out of the movie theater with 4 other people who loved KS and none had much good to say about it. It's not that funny. It's a stinker. Sorry!
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Traffic (2000)
Me Likey
16 March 2002
I thought this movie was real good and very interesting. It's not all "arty" as everyone tends to be saying. I was pretty engrossed for the whole thing. And for everyone who doesn't like it, well, that just leaves used dvds at cheaper prices for those of us who do.
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