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Hollow Man (2000)
Just plain bad
Talk about the biggest disapointment of the year and you have Hollow Man. The word hollow comes in handy a lot with this film: The plot is hollow, the performances are hollow and the reasoning is hollow. Not to mention the film leaves you feeling hollow inside as if you just watched BW2.
The only bright side was the special effects which impressed me to the point that it was the only reason to finish the film. The only side you will notice is the nudity factor which is heavy in some parts but even that doesn't peak interest
Where is MST3K when you need them
3/10 CGI alone doesn't warrant giving this film a five
Time Chasers (1994)
Whatever, I suppose
That's what the director of this film had to be saying throughout it's making The story is set around Nick, a geeky teacher at Castleton college who invents a time machine using eight commador floppy disks and his plane. After Superdweeb sells his time machine to Bob Evil he discovers the FUTURE has been harmed. Will he be able to prevent the future for being ruined? Will he end up with Lisa? Will anyone really care?
The answer to the third question is...NO!! This film is horrid and so many flaws I'm lost. How in the world to the past self who is the present self know his future self who was really the present self know JK took him to 1777? With all the deaths they caused to the minutemen, shouldn't that have caused a time rip or something? Where did that gun come from on the fishing boat? What about the flying grandma? Shouldn't pilots pay attention to the sky? What was the point of making this film? And if it was for college, did they fail?
1/10 Why no zero available???
X-Men are alive and well
Bryan Singer knows what he is doing and what he is doing is creating an excellent franchise. This film leaves you wanting more and more and is just amazing. Hugh Jackman may have only been big "down under" before this but now he is king of the world. His portrayal of Wolverine was perfect and he showed he is a fine actor and a bad man. Mardsen did a fine job and really gave Cyclops that preppy leader with the hot babe I always envisioned. Famke is hot and a great actress who created a hotter than imagined Jean Grey. Patrick Stewart was excellent and proved he was Prof X. I had my doubts about Mr. McKellan but he proved me wrong and I'm glad. Halle struggled as Storm but could easily tweak her role for the sequel. No one did a bad job except the score composer. While it didn't hurt, it didn't help.
X-Men is awesome and the sequel is coming. Prepare for the next generation of adventure to get even better
10/10 This is a dream realized for X-men fans and a great film for non comic fans
Ready to Rumble (2000)
David A. in a starring role was bad enough but to try and destroy the career of Oliver Platt with him is downright sick. Nothing is funny about this film, in fact it's as sad as sad can be. Talk about a movie that is an insult to B-movies!! The film sucks, it has no laughs and really had no biz on the big screen. In fact, this film has no biz in the USA at all
1/10 GO AWAY YOU UNFUNNY MAN!!!!
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
I'm so scared right now...It's on!!!
Have you ever seen a movie that you wanted the main characters to just die a horrible death? Well then Blair Witch is for you! Whether it's the whining of Heather or the stupidity of her male buddies(I'll hold the compass and you hold the map!) you find a reason to cheer for the Witch! It basically stinks, in fact I can't say that enough-IT STINKS!!!
1/10 I'm a sucker for a movie that kills off the people I hate
The Thirteenth Floor (1999)
Neat plot, crappy film
What can I say, it was ok. Not the greatest Sci-fi film of all time but not low enough to reach MST3K. A great cast which has come into their prime but this film was out before that. The plot makes you think but the ending makes about as much sense as well...It doesn't. This film must have left a ton on the cutting room floor cause something was just missing.
5/10 Could have been better, could've been worse
I've lost hope for horror
That's what Scream does to the original fans of horror who thought a great horror film was coming soon...it smashes that hope with a hammer until nothing is left!! David A. is not funny, he never has-been and he never will be. Neve has that sweet, innocent, hot look going but she can't act her way out of a paper bag!! Courntey Cox is well, she's Courntey Cox and that says enough about her ability as an actress. The only bright side of this film...HENRY WINKLER!!! FONZIE!!!
1/10 Wasn't scary, wasn't stupid and isn't worth a $1.95
Ein Toter hing im Netz (1960)
OH THE....Uhhhhhhh Horror???
Terrible, horrid, and sick.. and that's only the actor performance. What we have are the adventures of a US dance troupe on the way to Singapore(that's sad itself) but their plane which goes from LA to NY to the middle of the ocean before crashing. Then we find the HORROR OF SPIDER ISLAND is the script and plot!!! MST3K did a great job with this film (Course I cheated on you but it was like 80 degrees!) Watch this film and see if you can tell how the director feels about women. Remember to watch it with a friend... you shouldn't be the only one to suffer!!!
0/10 I gave it a one cause that was the lowest possible!!
Yûsei ôji (1959)
Please call him the Artist of Space
Whether it's the name of the villian's planet (crankwhore???) or the repeated lines (your weapons will have no affect on me if you didn't understand the first 7000 times!!!) you find a way to laugh at this film while cringing in pain. Join the adventures of Wally, a lovable shoe-shine (boot-blacker..he's in the big time now!) who is really Prince of SPACE (call him the artist) MST3K did this film as well they should have (Tom Servo: "EACH OF YOU WILL ENTER A SPACE CAPSULE, GEEZ!!!")
Remember folks when you watch this movie, the Phantom of Crankwhore may be watching... and laughing at you
1/10 And that's generous!!!
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
Impossible to sit thru
Talk about the worst John Woo flick of all-time. I felt that the main point of MI2 wasn't the plot but how much can John Woo stroke the ego of Tommy Cruise. The action scenes are soo overdone that they are stupid and the first hour of the film is liking waiting for the doctor to see you..boring and annoying Ving just seems to sit in the background with nothing to do, a total waste of great talent. Anthony Hopkins is involved for only a millisecond but what a second it is, now that's a waste of talent The effects are pointless and the editing is very poor (watch for the dead guy get into a car!! Space Mutiny revisited!) The ending has you angry cause it's a complete load of crap. In fact, load of crap sums up MI2
2/10 How big can the ego of Tom Cruise get?? Only time will tell!!!
Samuel L. Jackson should just change his name cause he is Shaft. His performance did give me the feel that he was a bad mother-shut your mouth. The Roundtree Shaft seem to always get the crap kicked out of him but he was the ladies man with the most.
The Jackson Shaft just seems to be a different breed *SPOILER MAYBE, DON'T KNOW* He never gets beat down and seems never to get a lady throughout the whole film. I still feel that this Shaft is flawed, in fact I felt the first Shaft was flawed. Shaft never seems to match the song Shaft, Singleton had a great vision for this one. I like the beat up version rather than the get beat up version. But power to the Peoples, this character will make you laugh yourself to tears and Bale character is kinda easy to forget as he fades into the background Vanessa Williams is looking hotter than ever and the dress at the birthday party will make you stand up and cheer if your a guy
Overall 8/10 SHAFT's Cousin SHAFT is better than Uncle SHAFT
Smith be praised
This is among my top films of the 90's, it just is that good. I love the questions it raises and brings to light all the doubts and truths about religion. The film gives the best advice ever: "Don't have beliefs, have ideas" Now that's advice to live by. Alan Rickman is great but it is Alan Rickman so want would you expect. Chris Rock is outstanding in the role of the 13th apostle and Jay and Silent Bob (sorry, forgot their names) are just hilarious! Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are great and the last few scenes really set them amongst the great stars of the future.
10/10 God might have loved this film but only it knows that for sure
Being John Malkovich (1999)
Average at best
Talk about a movie that made me wish I hadn't seen it. I had high hopes for BJM after reading reviews and hearing the positive remarks of those who had seen it. But I was really bored with this film. The idea is great but the after awhile it gets boring and repetitive. It came off more like a music video than a movie and just didn't connect with me.
Sorry but I give this film a 4/10
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Am I the only person in America who knew the ending after the first 10 minutes!!! The ending had about as much surprise as the season finale of "Becker".
*SPOILER MAYBE* Bruce Willis plays Mr. Non-emotion who gets blasted by his wacko student, Mr. Under pants, in his apartment. After watching Demi Moore's ex bleed his bed red we get introduced to the "only reason" this movie was good, Haley Joel.
What we follow next is the life of captain loon tune as he talks to more ghost than Clinton did interns. Soon we find out the "Big surprise" ending which I won't give away cause if you had a brain you'd already knew after ten minutes or less. The ending to The Haunting surprised me more than this load, If you see it watch it for the young man who was screwed by the Oscar pickers-Haley Joel-
My rating--- 1/10 (GO AWAY WHOEVER WROTE THIS)
Space Mutiny (1988)
Great movie..if watched on MST3K
This movie sucks!! Plain and simple, this has to be the worst movie I have ever seen and I've seen Santa with Muscles. This movie without Servo, Mike and Crow is like Root canal surgery while awake! Run and have the FBI track down and arrest David Winters!