Movieman-157 Reviews

Resident Evil 2 (1998 Video Game)

One of the Scariest Games Ever!

[10/10 · 19 November 1999]

This, along with Acclaim Teesside's "Shadow Man", has got to be the scariest game ever made. Zombies result after experiments go terribly wrong in the town of Raccoon City, and now it's up to two people (Claire Redfield and Leon Kennedy)to stop it. Scarier than most movies, and gorier than most, too, this game delivers on all accounts. Finally released to the N64 just today (November 19, 1999)!

Dead Man (1995)

A Great Film

[10/10 · 6 November 1999]

This has got to be one of the best and funniest westerns ever made. Johnny Depp plays William Blake, a man who goes to the town of Machine to get a job as an accountant for a metal shop. However, upon arriving, he finds that he is too late, and someone else has already filled the position. One thing leads to another, and before you know it, bounty hunters and marshals are after him! This is an often funny western with doses of heavy violence. A must see for all western movie fans, as well as fans of Johnny Depp, who's excellent in this film as well.

Chopper Chicks in Zombietown (1989)

Horrible...Simply Horrible

[1/10 · 5 November 1999]

This film, despite its pretty cool title, is a stunningly awful film which does not deserve to be viewed by anyone. This film features horrible-looking zombies and hardly any blood. How it ever got an "R" rating in the first place is beyond me. Maybe Troma aficianados will find this film hilarious and bloody. But for normal folk like myself, this film is downright stupid and a waste of time. Should be used as a form of torture worldwide.

The Grandmother (1970)

Well, this is hard to describe...

[5 November 1999]

This was the first film I've ever seen from David Lynch, and it's oddly good! A kid, who seems to be abused by his parents, plants a seed on a bed upstairs (?). Soon, it grows into a gross-looking plant from which an old lady climbs out (??). Extremely bizarre and definately not for every taste, but it's oddly entertaining for those that can take it.

Lady of the Lake (1998)

Another good film from Fangoria. Good, not great.

[30 October 1999]

A good film with quite a bit of pointless sex in the first half, and not enough action. The end, however, picks up with some blood, including a decapitation, a sword through the eye, etc. The effects are good considering someone probably paid for them with a credit card (and the limit on the card seemed to be $20). Available pretty much only at Blockbuster. Be sure to also check out Fangoria's other film release, I, ZOMBIE.

Shogun Assassin (1980)

A Great Action Film

[28 September 1999]

This film is amazing. It tells the tale of Lone Wolf (Tomisaburo Wakayama) and how he decides to defy the Shogun (he was the shogun's executioner). He also decides to bring his son, Daigero, along. What ensues is violent, aesthetic fun. Breathtaking swordfights, blood spurting all over from vanquished enemies, it just has to be seen to be believed. The whole experience is hard to explain, so I suggest just buying it. It's REALLY hard to find, but if you do find it, no matter how much it is, pick it up. Moviewise, it just may be the best thing you ever did.

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

Is there a rating under 1?

[24 September 1999]

This is the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. It's not scary, not funny and it was boring. Robert Houston went on to direct the MUCH better Shogun Assassin. Don't waste your time on this piece of crap.

I Zombie: The Chronicles of Pain (1998)

A Good Zombie Film

[8/10 · 23 September 1999]

I was surprised when I first saw this film. I thought it'd be a mean-spirited, spurting gore-for-the-sake-of-gore filled romp. It's not. This first film from Fangoria isn't lighthearted, but it actually tries for sympathy...and gets it. Giles Aspen plays Mark, a man who is bit by a zombie while on some kind of scientific expedition. Slowly, he starts to crave human flesh and get horribly violent convulsions if he goes long enough without it. This creates the feeling that he is an unwitting killer, and not someone that WANTS to kill. His convulsions push him to kill, thus also eliminating the mean-spirited factor in this film. This film raises some questions, like "Why don't his victims come back from the dead?", but I didn't care. I think it's a good zombie film and well executed. It also has a good music score, which the director did. Now, don't take it the wrong way, there is gore, but none of it spurts out. It's just blood gel. It can be hard to find, but I found it at Hollywood Video to rent. Hollywood also carries the second film in the Fangoria movie series, Lady of the Lake, which I haven't seen yet, but plan to. I don't think it'll be as good as this, though.

Heavenly Creatures (1994)

The most disturbing film I've ever seen

[10/10 · 21 July 1999]

This film is the most disturbing film perhaps ever made. It's about two friends who form an inseparable bond. But when one of their parents try to tear them apart for good, they plan to kill her. I can't tell you the ending even though I'm sure you all know what happens. Let's just say, I was paralyzed with shock the first time I saw it. Literally. Director Jackson leaves his over-the-top gore roots with this superbly crafted film nominated for an Oscar. (Best Screenplay.)

The Ugly (1997)

A superbly crafted surrealistic wonder

[20 July 1999]

THE UGLY is an ingenious horror film which mixes gruesome gore with truly bizarre characters. The characters (with the exception of Karen Schumaker) are ALL weirder than the killer himself. The film gets its surrealistic feel in the murders, which use black blood instead of the usual red. It's a disturbing film that should not be missed by horror fans. Paolo Rotondo even generates some sympathy as the killer. It all combines into, perhaps, the best horror film of 1997.

Shogun Assassin (1980)

A great samurai film with outstanding sword fights

[20 July 1999]

This film has some of the best sword fights ever shot on film. The plot has Lone Wolf (Tomisaburo Wakayama) travelling the countryside, pushing his son, Daigero, ahead of him in a baby cart. The only time he stops is to battle the seemingly infinite number of ninja the Shogun sends out to kill him. The film has blood spurting up every five seconds and is not meant to be realistic. It's more a bloody dance. Bodies take seconds to fall over, defeated swordsmen spurt blood up in the year for seconds before falling over, and blood spurts up in front of (and sometimes onto) the camera. It's a great film for fans of action films. This extremely violent, yet aesthetic film was directed originally by Kenji Misumi.